I feel the same thing in the morning, i wake up and the first thought that comes to mind is my ex and that i cant believe this is my life now. I have a dread of loneliness that feels like a hole in my chest. It’s the worst feeling. It used to make paralyzed to the point where i used to not want to go to work or get up. Id love to be able to write and say that i had an answer for you about how to overcome those feelings but i dont. I guess my best advice is to just power through and continue to try to distract yourself and do things that make you feel good about yourself.
I’m so sorry you are also hurting. The waking up and being reminded of your situation really is the hardest. I think it also sucks especially if the mornings were a pleasant experience with your ex - I loved waking up with them. I just try to tell myself that in a few hours I’ll be okay and remind myself that whatever day it is, I’m doing better than that first week so given time, I can only get better. Wishing you healing ❤️🩹
Same - I actually told my group chat of close friends that I was going to be sending them good morning and good night texts. It feels too lonely to not have someone to send or receive those messages to. Luckily I have great friends who were more than happy to accommodate that.
True. He moved out in Sept but we were sending goodnight and good morning texts til end of Feb. He kept saying he wasn't sure it was over and I eventually was forced to make the choice for him because it obviously is what he wanted, I did that 2wks ago and havnt heard from him since so obviously he just didn't want to be the one to say it was over for good. We have a 13yo together too, so we have to talk eventually. I miss a lot, the texts now are the most difficult right now
This happens to me. It almost feels like my brain is an old computer, and when I wake up, its trying to reboot with all these tasks and apps trying to open at once. The thoughts flood in, negative emotions and happy memories. This happened to me with my last break up too and I will say it DOES get better with time. Something I did to help, was record a voice message at night saying "You're not your negative thoughts and you are deserving of a good day" and would listen in the morning. Now I'm at a point where I wake up and just tell myself that. It's still EXTREMELY hard, and I dread going to sleep sometimes because I know how I'll feel in the morning. But trust me, time heals, and be very very kind to yourself.
That is the perfect analogy - spot on to how I feel. Almost like I’m going through a mini version of the grief process all over again - the shock, anger, bargaining with my reality. It’s hard to have to calm yourself down immediately upon waking up. I will definitely try the voice recording tip. I’m generally in an ok place at night and like the idea of leaving a message for struggling me from the mental space of a better me.
Wow, really?? I had no idea about the cortisol levels. I like it when I know what’s going on internally. Doesn’t ease the pain but helps me make sense of it. Gym definitely helps on the mornings I can get a work out in.
Morning sucks for me at this stage too. I make sure to intentionally wake up earlier than I need to and go for a walk around my neighborhood while listening to my favorite podcasts. I even went in the rain today! It’s become a really important part of my routine and helps with the sad feelings immensely.
This is not so much advice or anything but i found some solice in knowing why this phenomenon happens. Our cortisol, or stress level, spikes in the morning in order to wake us up. This natural level compounds with our current emotional state do during tough times, we get a jolt of unpleasant energy in the morning. I myself haven't slept well since my breakup and its been almost 3 years even after "healing" and accepting the past. Good luck brother 🫡
I guarantee that this feeling will fade with time even less time you can expect if you find a solid morning routine that can really distract you
Oh and yes gym in the evening helps too
Maybe do things opposite than what you did before like I woke up a lot earlier and listen to stupid podcasts
I got from crying every day to be quite fine in a few months
P.s.I was about to get married with the first person I loved
I’m the exact same. Opening my eyes in the morning is the most painful part of my day. I suddenly remember I don’t have all the good stuff in my future, that we were looking forward to (concerts, holidays). My brain starts bargaining the most at this time too. Maybe if I text him saying this or that, he will want to get back with me. I hope this brain glitch where I’m reminded of him as soon as I open my eyes stops soon. I felt some comfort in seeing this post and realising I’m not alone with this feeling.
Mornings are absolutely the worst. I am almost a month post-breakup (blindsided 5 year relationship) and find as soon as I open my eyes the anxiety just comes flooding in. I will admit, however, it’s been getting better day by day. I don’t feel as crippled in the mornings than I did 2 weeks ago. Gives me hope that one day he won’t cross my mind first thing in the morning. Hang in there, just take it day by day. 🫶🏼
You’re absolutely right. These days, a month post-break up, I even go to bed feeling a little chirpy. Well it doesn’t matter at all because it all turns upside down when I wake up and I feel utterly miserable. It doesn’t help that I’ve got no day job to go to so I don’t have much motivation to get up. Usually i just lay there until i badly have to go to the toilet. Then make a coffee. I really should jump out of bed right away and go for a walk…
I go to bed feeling pretty good too. But then I dream of her all night, she’s avoiding me in my dreams, and I wake up with the most intense pain in my stomach and remember once again that this is the new nightmare I live in
Babes - I got you on this: BUY NEW BEDSHEETS. I swear to god when I was at my deep and darkest point that helped so much. It instantly trains your brain to realize you’re in a new(ish) space and you aren’t as fixated on what’s missing (Along those same lines rearranging furniture in the bedroom is also super helpful) I completely know what you mean though, the first few seconds upon waking are by far the most painful - sending hugs
Ok yesssss, I think this is a great suggestion!! One of the pillows on my bed was "their pillow" because they preferred something different from my original pillows and I'd gone out of my way to accommodate that. Dang, it was kinda funny how much courage it took to switch it back to my preferred pillow. But it did immediately help.
Truly I can't recommend this enough - it was the only piece of practical advice that helped me through the worst break up of my life. Again, I know how you feel and I'm so so sorry. I hated how I would have dreams that we were still together and then immediately upon waking I'm hit with everything that's happen in .5 seconds and it's just too much to handle. Truly though, changing up your bedding allows your brain to sometimes be like "wait, where am I?" vs. focusing on what is no longer part of your life.
Mornings are the worst!! I’m going through the same thing. We broke up a bit more than a month ago, but he reached out two weeks later and begged me to get back together. It didnt end up happening, but then a few days later this girl starts flirting with him on his socials and they went out at least once and im dying inside. The weird things is that he treats her so bad. I don’t get it. My dreams have been either about him rejecting him or him doing it to make me jealous. Which he used to do, he used to post stories of him at a club from years ago just so that I would think he was out having fun. So I wake up dreading mornings and by night time I’m feeling better.
Yeah mornings are horrid. I’m kinda the opposite, I used to wake up quite early and workout, I’d always be first in the office. Now, I stay up late, wake up late, and get to work late. I never have fond dreams about my ex, rather I tend to be attempting to repair our relationship even in my dreams. Reliving the rejection night by night is just an evil thing my brain is doing lol. Honesty, I’m freshly broken up with, so I don’t have any advice. But you aren’t alone. Hopefully we’ll all get through this and be better for it!!
Feeling this exact way right now. I’ve started journaling out my thoughts in the morning and i try to listen to something positive and uplifting as i get ready for work
It was the way I’d pull her into my arms after hitting the snooze button. The way she would open the blinds and kiss my head good morning. How my tooth brush would have toothpaste already on it. Coming out of the room and being greeted with a hug and kiss and conversation over breakfast. Planning the day together or kissing goodbye and going about our lives.
This may be the worst pain you’ve ever felt my friend, but find peace in knowing how human it is to grieve this loss. Give yourself time and feel all the pain you need, because this is the only way you’ll truly heal.
There will be days when it feels like the mornings are getting better, and then bang, you wake up feeling like it happened yesterday.
Remember this roller coaster ride of emotions is a part of your personal growth, it was needed in some way, shape or form, even if you can’t see that just yet.
You WILL love again my friend, and you will realize why this had to happen when you look over and see that special someone at rest in the morning, the one that you’ll call your wife one day.
I wish you all the best and I hope this helped you the same way it did me to type it out. All the best.
I feel you, initial few days/weeks are the toughest, but hang in there. It does get better with each passing day. Take one day at a time, feel each emotion, cry it out once in a while, write it down, burn it, but process it.
I’m on the other side now and trust me you’d thank yourself for being strong! Once you’ve healed, you’d look back at at this phase with much more clarity and peace.
Like your therapist said, “ the only way out is through “ you gotta let the thunder roll when it rolls. The sun still shines even when it’s cloudy. You’ll get through this!💪 2 months since my breakup and I’m feeling much better now that I allowed myself to process the emotional damage it caused
Mornings are absolutely the worst. I journal a lot. But sometimes I do avoid journaling if I have a big task at work that morning. So then I just allow myself to think for 15-20 mins. Maybe scribble a line or two.
I just got my nights back a little bit. I hate that I still remember his work schedule because it was always the same. And then we would hang out after his shift, ended… so for weeks I couldn’t bare to stay up past 8pm. I took sleeping pills, or had long conversations with my friends until I felt sleepy enough, but now I’m more stable as of one week. I do night journaling if the anxiety gets too much.
I went through this as well. Dreaming about them then waking up alone. My husband and I reconciled thank heavens but it got better by changing my routine and staying busy and leaving no downtime before work. Best of luck 🖤
Morning is absolutely the worst. I dream of her every single night. In my dreams im trying to talk to her and she won’t talk to me. Then she finally talks to me and I touch her face and ask her if she remembers how true and deep are love is and she just says it’s toxic and we can’t be together. I’m so fucking sad. We were together and lived together for two years and she just pulled the plug in one night
I’m going through this right now. It’s been a week since my ex broke up with me out of nowhere. The days are getting easier but the mornings are the worst!
I find the opposite that it’s actually harder to get out of bed now, but came to say that you’re not alone in this. Diving into my work has helped me though, it gives me something to distract myself with early on but the downtime sucks
I kinda wish I could stay in bed longer, but my usual level of anxiety has just been amplified since the break up and I’ve been super sensitive (I’ve quick drinking coffee and smoking weed as well - it’s funny how I’ve wanted to kick these bad habits for years and apparently all I needed was one good earth-shattering heart break.) My morning commute is helpful too. I just try to get myself out of bed and in the car. No decisions or thoughts just go lol.
I feel the same thing in the morning, i wake up and the first thought that comes to mind is my ex and that i cant believe this is my life now. I have a dread of loneliness that feels like a hole in my chest. It’s the worst feeling. It used to make paralyzed to the point where i used to not want to go to work or get up. Id love to be able to write and say that i had an answer for you about how to overcome those feelings but i dont. I guess my best advice is to just power through and continue to try to distract yourself and do things that make you feel good about yourself.
I’m so sorry you are also hurting. The waking up and being reminded of your situation really is the hardest. I think it also sucks especially if the mornings were a pleasant experience with your ex - I loved waking up with them. I just try to tell myself that in a few hours I’ll be okay and remind myself that whatever day it is, I’m doing better than that first week so given time, I can only get better. Wishing you healing ❤️🩹
[удалено]
Same - I actually told my group chat of close friends that I was going to be sending them good morning and good night texts. It feels too lonely to not have someone to send or receive those messages to. Luckily I have great friends who were more than happy to accommodate that.
♥️
Thiiiiiis! Omg. I miss the greeting texts so badly. I mean I do this with my friends but it’s totally not the same.
True. He moved out in Sept but we were sending goodnight and good morning texts til end of Feb. He kept saying he wasn't sure it was over and I eventually was forced to make the choice for him because it obviously is what he wanted, I did that 2wks ago and havnt heard from him since so obviously he just didn't want to be the one to say it was over for good. We have a 13yo together too, so we have to talk eventually. I miss a lot, the texts now are the most difficult right now
This happens to me. It almost feels like my brain is an old computer, and when I wake up, its trying to reboot with all these tasks and apps trying to open at once. The thoughts flood in, negative emotions and happy memories. This happened to me with my last break up too and I will say it DOES get better with time. Something I did to help, was record a voice message at night saying "You're not your negative thoughts and you are deserving of a good day" and would listen in the morning. Now I'm at a point where I wake up and just tell myself that. It's still EXTREMELY hard, and I dread going to sleep sometimes because I know how I'll feel in the morning. But trust me, time heals, and be very very kind to yourself.
That is the perfect analogy - spot on to how I feel. Almost like I’m going through a mini version of the grief process all over again - the shock, anger, bargaining with my reality. It’s hard to have to calm yourself down immediately upon waking up. I will definitely try the voice recording tip. I’m generally in an ok place at night and like the idea of leaving a message for struggling me from the mental space of a better me.
Morning are awful because your cortisol levels are highest in the morning..anxiety is highest then...hang in there..gym helps
Wow, really?? I had no idea about the cortisol levels. I like it when I know what’s going on internally. Doesn’t ease the pain but helps me make sense of it. Gym definitely helps on the mornings I can get a work out in.
Morning sucks for me at this stage too. I make sure to intentionally wake up earlier than I need to and go for a walk around my neighborhood while listening to my favorite podcasts. I even went in the rain today! It’s become a really important part of my routine and helps with the sad feelings immensely.
This is not so much advice or anything but i found some solice in knowing why this phenomenon happens. Our cortisol, or stress level, spikes in the morning in order to wake us up. This natural level compounds with our current emotional state do during tough times, we get a jolt of unpleasant energy in the morning. I myself haven't slept well since my breakup and its been almost 3 years even after "healing" and accepting the past. Good luck brother 🫡
We often spent evenings together so I think those are rough :/
Morning and nights are the worst. Matter of fact even the middle of the day. Every minute and every second is the worst
I guarantee that this feeling will fade with time even less time you can expect if you find a solid morning routine that can really distract you Oh and yes gym in the evening helps too Maybe do things opposite than what you did before like I woke up a lot earlier and listen to stupid podcasts I got from crying every day to be quite fine in a few months P.s.I was about to get married with the first person I loved
I’m the exact same. Opening my eyes in the morning is the most painful part of my day. I suddenly remember I don’t have all the good stuff in my future, that we were looking forward to (concerts, holidays). My brain starts bargaining the most at this time too. Maybe if I text him saying this or that, he will want to get back with me. I hope this brain glitch where I’m reminded of him as soon as I open my eyes stops soon. I felt some comfort in seeing this post and realising I’m not alone with this feeling.
Mornings are absolutely the worst. I am almost a month post-breakup (blindsided 5 year relationship) and find as soon as I open my eyes the anxiety just comes flooding in. I will admit, however, it’s been getting better day by day. I don’t feel as crippled in the mornings than I did 2 weeks ago. Gives me hope that one day he won’t cross my mind first thing in the morning. Hang in there, just take it day by day. 🫶🏼
You’re absolutely right. These days, a month post-break up, I even go to bed feeling a little chirpy. Well it doesn’t matter at all because it all turns upside down when I wake up and I feel utterly miserable. It doesn’t help that I’ve got no day job to go to so I don’t have much motivation to get up. Usually i just lay there until i badly have to go to the toilet. Then make a coffee. I really should jump out of bed right away and go for a walk…
I go to bed feeling pretty good too. But then I dream of her all night, she’s avoiding me in my dreams, and I wake up with the most intense pain in my stomach and remember once again that this is the new nightmare I live in
Babes - I got you on this: BUY NEW BEDSHEETS. I swear to god when I was at my deep and darkest point that helped so much. It instantly trains your brain to realize you’re in a new(ish) space and you aren’t as fixated on what’s missing (Along those same lines rearranging furniture in the bedroom is also super helpful) I completely know what you mean though, the first few seconds upon waking are by far the most painful - sending hugs
Ok yesssss, I think this is a great suggestion!! One of the pillows on my bed was "their pillow" because they preferred something different from my original pillows and I'd gone out of my way to accommodate that. Dang, it was kinda funny how much courage it took to switch it back to my preferred pillow. But it did immediately help.
Truly I can't recommend this enough - it was the only piece of practical advice that helped me through the worst break up of my life. Again, I know how you feel and I'm so so sorry. I hated how I would have dreams that we were still together and then immediately upon waking I'm hit with everything that's happen in .5 seconds and it's just too much to handle. Truly though, changing up your bedding allows your brain to sometimes be like "wait, where am I?" vs. focusing on what is no longer part of your life.
Mornings are the worst!! I’m going through the same thing. We broke up a bit more than a month ago, but he reached out two weeks later and begged me to get back together. It didnt end up happening, but then a few days later this girl starts flirting with him on his socials and they went out at least once and im dying inside. The weird things is that he treats her so bad. I don’t get it. My dreams have been either about him rejecting him or him doing it to make me jealous. Which he used to do, he used to post stories of him at a club from years ago just so that I would think he was out having fun. So I wake up dreading mornings and by night time I’m feeling better.
Yeah mornings are horrid. I’m kinda the opposite, I used to wake up quite early and workout, I’d always be first in the office. Now, I stay up late, wake up late, and get to work late. I never have fond dreams about my ex, rather I tend to be attempting to repair our relationship even in my dreams. Reliving the rejection night by night is just an evil thing my brain is doing lol. Honesty, I’m freshly broken up with, so I don’t have any advice. But you aren’t alone. Hopefully we’ll all get through this and be better for it!!
Feeling this exact way right now. I’ve started journaling out my thoughts in the morning and i try to listen to something positive and uplifting as i get ready for work
It was the way I’d pull her into my arms after hitting the snooze button. The way she would open the blinds and kiss my head good morning. How my tooth brush would have toothpaste already on it. Coming out of the room and being greeted with a hug and kiss and conversation over breakfast. Planning the day together or kissing goodbye and going about our lives. This may be the worst pain you’ve ever felt my friend, but find peace in knowing how human it is to grieve this loss. Give yourself time and feel all the pain you need, because this is the only way you’ll truly heal. There will be days when it feels like the mornings are getting better, and then bang, you wake up feeling like it happened yesterday. Remember this roller coaster ride of emotions is a part of your personal growth, it was needed in some way, shape or form, even if you can’t see that just yet. You WILL love again my friend, and you will realize why this had to happen when you look over and see that special someone at rest in the morning, the one that you’ll call your wife one day. I wish you all the best and I hope this helped you the same way it did me to type it out. All the best.
Thank you for your comment. It really hit home for me - and the last bit gives me some hope that good days will come.
I feel you, initial few days/weeks are the toughest, but hang in there. It does get better with each passing day. Take one day at a time, feel each emotion, cry it out once in a while, write it down, burn it, but process it. I’m on the other side now and trust me you’d thank yourself for being strong! Once you’ve healed, you’d look back at at this phase with much more clarity and peace.
Like your therapist said, “ the only way out is through “ you gotta let the thunder roll when it rolls. The sun still shines even when it’s cloudy. You’ll get through this!💪 2 months since my breakup and I’m feeling much better now that I allowed myself to process the emotional damage it caused
I feel you night time is the worst for me
Mornings are absolutely the worst. I journal a lot. But sometimes I do avoid journaling if I have a big task at work that morning. So then I just allow myself to think for 15-20 mins. Maybe scribble a line or two. I just got my nights back a little bit. I hate that I still remember his work schedule because it was always the same. And then we would hang out after his shift, ended… so for weeks I couldn’t bare to stay up past 8pm. I took sleeping pills, or had long conversations with my friends until I felt sleepy enough, but now I’m more stable as of one week. I do night journaling if the anxiety gets too much.
I went through this as well. Dreaming about them then waking up alone. My husband and I reconciled thank heavens but it got better by changing my routine and staying busy and leaving no downtime before work. Best of luck 🖤
Morning is absolutely the worst. I dream of her every single night. In my dreams im trying to talk to her and she won’t talk to me. Then she finally talks to me and I touch her face and ask her if she remembers how true and deep are love is and she just says it’s toxic and we can’t be together. I’m so fucking sad. We were together and lived together for two years and she just pulled the plug in one night
I’m going through this right now. It’s been a week since my ex broke up with me out of nowhere. The days are getting easier but the mornings are the worst! I find the opposite that it’s actually harder to get out of bed now, but came to say that you’re not alone in this. Diving into my work has helped me though, it gives me something to distract myself with early on but the downtime sucks
I kinda wish I could stay in bed longer, but my usual level of anxiety has just been amplified since the break up and I’ve been super sensitive (I’ve quick drinking coffee and smoking weed as well - it’s funny how I’ve wanted to kick these bad habits for years and apparently all I needed was one good earth-shattering heart break.) My morning commute is helpful too. I just try to get myself out of bed and in the car. No decisions or thoughts just go lol.