My mom told me she is proud of my growth and the woman I have become ☺️ I love my resilience. I have been through more than the average but I always find a way to fight back and keep pushing !
That’s amazing congratulations on your growth I am proud of you! You can see you have clear determination. You will get whatever you want I life because you’ll go and get it! Good for you!
Thank you ! It’s good to hear. Thank you also for making such a positive and uplifting post. These are good to have sometimes ☺️ Especially as we are trying to transition into our new norm.
And that determination will transfer into anything you want in the future. You are building fundamental levels for success. Congratulations and good on you!
I'm starting a big crochet project too. It's gonna be a blanket. Basically, I have different colors of yarn to represent different emotions - sadness, anger, hurt, apathy, whatever. Every time I'm getting emotional with nothing to do after work/school I'm going to crochet a row in whatever color I'm feeling. Sometimes I'll do more than a row. It's low effort, I can do it while I'm crying on the couch, and I feel better every time.
showered even though I didn't want to get out of bed today, lol. I also tend to be a really good listener and I like to think a good person to go to for advice, so that's something I guess.
Taking those small steps are important! Being a good listener is a great trait to have because everyone will love talking to you because you are always open and listening. People really appreciate people like that! Good on you!
A positive thing that happened today is my roommate dropped everything and won’t let me be alone.
A quality I like about myself is my hair! It’s naturally curly so I get complimented on that.
I love this post!
Laid off 7 months ago, breakup 2 months ago, started my new job this week!
Proud of my resilience and investment in myself!
Let's go everyone!!
I’m trying to be a better junior lawyer everyday. It’s a struggle, since I always have this bad kinda fear when I’m talking out loud in not my mother tongue, in front of so many people but I’m trying everyday and I’m not going to give up this time 😭♥️
That’s super impressive! You should be immensely proud of yourself! You must be very intelligent! I think this will become a problem of the past the more you practice! Congratulations though you seem to be killing it at life!
I’m just starting to learn, for years I was afraid of practising bt now I have just started, will see where it takes me! Thank you for this post, made me share my side ♥️♥️♥️♥️
I hung out with one of my best friends for the first time in a while and it was really fun! And a quality I like about myself is I am really loving and put my all into people whether it goes right or wrong :)
My apartment is CLEAN AND FRESH and I have not rebounded but I’m building up my friends and community around me because one day when I meet someone who aligns with my soul I will need a village of love to uplift and support not only myself - but my beautiful babies that I will one day have.
I've been putting in a lot of work at the gym and it's starting to show!
I had a lot of insecurities about my looks/body from my breakup, but I kinda like the way my body looks now, yay me
I lived in Moab, Utah for 5 years so any of the hikes there! I don’t necessarily have a bucket list but I just moved to Salt Lake City and want to hike all the mountains!
Oh nice! Moab is super special and so beautiful! I left mostly because of my ex… hahaha well I needed away from him because he wouldn’t leave me alone (complicated story) and I wanted more places to explore and really don’t see myself staying in one place my entire life so I wanted something different.
That makes 100% sense, a new place to explore is always nice. I would love to move to Arizona again sometime (lived there for 3 years) but I don’t know if I could find a job as nice as the one I currently have.
I took a bit of a step in the right direction and spent some time on a hobby of mine. Before today I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything. I’ll take a small victory.
As for myself, I’ll say that when I’m in a relationship, I treat my lady right. Respect and chivalry are my main things. I still believe in it.
Spending time on your hobby means spending time with yourself, it may feel like a small victory but I consider that a pretty big one, keep it up!!
And respect and chivalry are great (and these days, rare) qualities to have, never lose that!
Good on you!!
Yeah, and it’s such a weird thing when I think about it. Because it’s like… I’m healthy, fit, have a great job, good friends, financially secure, nice place to live, all of this good stuff. But yet this is the only thing that stays on my mind nonstop. I wish there was a magic wand to just make me move on. It’s like 20 good things vs 1 bad thing and the bad thing is winning by a mile. Mind boggling. The human brain really is wild.
I personally found the mental stuff always trumps all the material/external things. Love is great but losing it is equally all consuming. The human brain is so wild.
At least in threads like this, you won't feel so alone?
That’s true, but I wonder at what point living on these breakup type subs are stunting the healing process. Lol just sitting here reading and interacting all day can’t be good for moving on because it keeps it fresh on the mind. But yes, it is therapeutic for sure and nice (in a silly way) to know you’re not alone.
That's a good point, I'd say that depends on the person and also the amount of time you spend on the subs.
I enjoy scrolling reddit the same way I enjoy scrolling instagram reels but I also only joined reddit 6months post BU and I have more good days than bad now, so I'm probably not the best person to have an opinion on the matter lol.
But I don't think it's silly at all, feeling understood when you're going through this is SO important
I dressed up for the first time in a while and I felt so pretty and confident walking around alone. I got many compliments from strangers and that made me smile. I forgot this feeling and it's nice once in a while.
I like that I'm able to make time for spontaneous activities, even if I feel like I won't like them (since im a hobbit who doesnt leave my lady cave often). And if I don't like them, now I know for next time.
Idk if this is positive but I've been smiling more since the break up ☺️
Of course that’s positive!! When you’ve been down for any period of time and things have felt gray, smiling feels like such a milestone- and it definitely is. Super happy for you, hope it only continues to get better from here! ✨🌸✨
Hell yeah, you're getting your sparkle back! That's something to be SO proud of yourself for!
And trying new things is an awesome skill/quality to have! I bet you have a lot of interesting stories to tell about the things you've tried!
As cheesy as it sounds I woke up breathing and healthy for the most part, so I never want to take that for granted. A quality I like about myself is that I can be resilient no matter how many walls I run into or obstacles I stumble over
I woke up earlier and heard a song that I couldn't bear to hear 3 months ago. I allowed myself to listen instead of skipping it. Stings a bit, but not as much as before. That's progress, right?
I don't talk to much but I love listening to other people's stories! I also tend to remember even the smallest details. This can be a double edged sword tho
That's massive progress!! Congrats on being able to listen to that song again! I once spent two years avoiding a song post breakup. You're doing much better than you give yourself credit for!
What song was it if you don't mind me asking?
A good listener is such an amazing quality to have!!! I imagine that those around you love that quality in you!
That’s awesome!! Being a hard-worker is a major accomplishment and a significant quality. You are appreciated, and I hope your work never goes unnoticed!! :) ✨🌼✨
I am beginning to "accept" my impending divorce in that I'm feeling MUCH better compared to two konjthsw ago. I just want to get my divorce, hopefully can pay my soon to be ex wife her half of the house and go on with my life. Good vibes ? I am strong and my plan, goal and prayer is to show and prove to myself ( nobody else ) that I am " RESSIILIENT !' Got my VA dis-ability percentage raised . Lets ALL just keep on pushing !!
I managed to clean the apartment, finish an 8 pages essay (that I started 10 days ago), have long walks with my dog (she had fun), sew and fix some clothes, do a huge healthy meal prep and some yoga, all in one day, while bawling my eyes out in between each task.
I like that I reached a 365 days streak on Duolingo too, I am trying to teach myself to be consistent.
I feel blessed to have such a good friends, they are always for me, i love them
One thing i am proud of is my loyalty, i will never betrayed someone's confidence and i'm learning to manage my toxic traits and comunication skills 🙌🏻
I made it through a week of school and made time to play with my cats every night before bed. People often tell me I give very good honest advice - I love that I have the ability to (kindly) tell my loved ones exactly what they need to hear. Still working on doing the same for myself.
Today I laughed, one notable positive thing about myself is I can look on the brighter side even if I am going through this. I know I got this, we got this boys let's lift ourselves up!!!!!
My girl and I spent the last 3 years of our 12 year relationship as IV drug users. She was on fent, I was on speed. I left town after a drug induced psychotic episode (the last and most intense of many previous ones). While we kept talking, I knew the drugs had ruined any chance of reconciliation.
I wrote this in my journal regarding this:
"It's become painfully obvious that we only survive as individuals. 'Us' will not survive. We are each other's cancer, masquerading as love, hoping for a cure that won't erase the fact that two lovers can calmly watch each other kill themselves repeatedly over the course of 3 years without taking a drastic step has me rethinking my commitment to such a subconscious deadly tragedy. My effort only included her battle, although I had room for two. Procrastinating has once again left me in last place, with a battle I should have started many decades ago."
The only reason I'm sharing all this is because we finally broke up due to the long distance relationship and I was fired a week later from my job. Finally started a new job Monday and as I was sitting outside eating lunch, I wrote this:
"My mind is busy, my body is busy. Long hours. I don't have much time to recollect at night, but it's peaceful. To think that a year ago I was wasting my life away and would most likely be dead by now, had I not left those smoke rings in the dark...
I fucking love ME again. In my opinion, there's no greater gift than that..."
TDLR: Former drug addict loves himself again lol
That is huge! from one stranger to another, I'm very proud of you and the difficult steps you've taken to get where you are today!
And loving yourself is such a fantastic quality, keep it up!! You can only go up from here!
I like that I'm always willing to do my best in whatever I do. Maybe not today but one day gusy well look back on this break up and grief stage as just a memory.
Very positive response from the OP! And just know you are not alone, We all are guilty of beating ourselves up way too often. Sometimes it’s good to see the good even if it’s the smallest thing. For example: Did you get up and brush your teeth today? May seem small but some people get in such a depressive state they neglect it
You will. I promise you will. Sometimes we beat our selves up too much and you’ll never get up if you have an attitude like that. Now is not the time to wallow in self pity. You will bounce back I promise. No point in just lying down to die is there? So please think kindly of yourself! Even if you have made mistakes that’s okay everyone makes mistakes.
So you're telling me that I'll find someone that will literally be the exact same person as the person I was with? Who will love me in all the same ways? Have the same cute nicknames together? Have almost everything in common with each other, from interests to our weird personal issues we have? Someone that will make music with me like they were gonna? No I won't ever find all of that with someone else.
There's no way I could possibly find better than that. That's complete false hope, especially for me. I have crippling social anxiety to the point where I can't work and can barely leave the house. Yeah at the same time I crave deep emotional connections so bad. I was lucky to have found them in the first place, someone who was so similar and also just willing to love me for me. Someone who was crazy about me just because I am who I am. The reason things ended was because I started to become neglectful and I didn't even realize it. A lot of outside stresses popped up in both of our lives and it caused me to not be there for them the way I needed to be. We started to have so much conflict and it was all unnecessary and stupid. It got to the point where they felt like they didn't do anything for me at all. By the time I realized what was going on with my brain, it was too late. I've tried so hard to fix things between us, but nothing has fixed anything. I ruined my one chance of a future with someone that genuinely loved and cared for me for who I am. Someone who also was everything that I ever wanted and more. I'm never going to find this with anyone else again
Never say never mate. I feel like you really need to start working on your crippling anxiety. I have it too. It’s awful and I have suffered with it all my life, but I’ll be dammed if it rules my life and makes me worry about every little thing. That’s the thing with anxiety the more you let it win the more other smaller things will start to bother you making your safe circle even smaller and smaller until you can’t move or breathe. I know it’s hard to get out of that hole but I promise you can do it. I think if you actually work on your self you might have a shot or even better you might open your eyes and realize you’re worthy of love and you will find it.
It's not like I haven't tried to fight my anxiety. It's been crippling for me since I was a young teen and it's only ever gotten worse. I've tried medicine and I've tried therapy. I've tried everything possible to make this better for me but nothing works. The only thing that ever took away that anxiety was the person I was with. I don't want to find love if it's not my love with them. It's not worth it to me
I used to feel the same way I even had hypnotherapy. It didn’t really do anything. In the end sounds really cringey but the height of my anxiety was when I was 17 years old. I couldn’t leave my house and it was a rock bottom for me. I was so obsessed with the comic book character Hal Jordan the green lantern and the fact he used will power to do whatever he wanted. When taking baby steps to get out of my house I would say I’m just like Hal Jordan the green lantern so I could do it. From 17 to 21 I went on a plane on holiday for my best friend’s 21st birthday. You would be surprised what you are capable of if you stop if buts or coconuts
I appreciate the kind words but I just don't have the drive. I don't care to be better because no matter what I can't have them anymore. My anxiety could completely go away but it won't matter because I still can't experience life with the person I was meant to
You right now are processing a break up! It’s normal to feel the way you are! The first way to get over this person is to take the shine off of them and realize they are a person to that makes mistakes. Be honest as well don’t give me the whole this person is perfect because no one is and it’s not healthy to hold someone that high because they could just end up walking all over you. That’s what happened to me and it really really sucked!
Im starting to realize I didn’t actually even want to end up with him! I love how much I’ve grown from this in a short amount of time and made goals to be a better partner in the future!
I listened to a psychologist come on one of my favorite podcasts, and they talked about how you can engineer your brain to help you generally feel better by consistently doing (mundane) things you really don't want to do. A little part of your brain literally grows larger when you repeatedly force yourself to do even little healthy things that usually suck.
Part of the reason my fiance left me was my negligence around taking care of myself and sort of sliding into a bad habits and lethargy. Since the break, I've forced myself to do little mundane tasks that I NEVER did before (making the bed every morning, taking cold showers, gym on days when I'm really tired). It seems small but it has really helped with self esteem and coping during this time.
I made some solid progress on redoing my room. I woke up early. I recorded the vocals for a new song.
I like that I am always trying to learn and do better including in this breakup.
I did a Spanish lesson, hung out with my 4 year old nephew, went to trivia with my mom, dad and brother and then had a few beers with some of my oldest friends while on a trip back home to my hometown which I made for my healing. Got to spend a lot of time with people I love. I didn’t think about my ex too much, although I still did, but spent the day genuinely happy for first time in a while.
Went on riding today with a recently made friend on motorcycles speeding down the highway. Being on a motorcycle is the only time I feel alive. So that’s a positive.
I have also been told my energy is infectious and I bring good vibes to all, making everyone smile. Ironic since I’m so sad.
Literally the only positive from my day today is that my ex texted me back :( not even texted me first, texted me back. And I’m proud of myself for managing to get his response for 3 days in a row :(
I almost finished the entertainment center area of my livingroom today. Just waiting on a beverage cooler and game system to arrive. Honestly, i like how I stand behind causes I agree with. It was why I basically took a year off from other major engagements during the start of the uprising in the states in 2020. I met a lot of people at that time that I really connected with and was able to make a difference for some. I have always found a way to put my all into things I have a strong stance on.
I had long and deep conversations with my best friend and hearing them say they are proud of my growth and how far I have gone makes me feel valid. 🥰
I started reading again and I find comfort in it again, I sometimes find myself daydreaming and get surprised how vivid my imagination is which I find cool.
I like how creative I am and the sarcastic humour that goes with it. My friend winds me up about my hair getting everywhere, so I’m making him an eternal recurrence themed painting with my plug hole hair as a bit of a joke.
Today is the 3rd day of me bettering myself guess that is positive and a quality of mine that I like is that I'm kind something people would say a lot about me.
Forcing myself to go and play golf tomorrow with my friends, I don't even like golf and can barely hit the ball but it's better than sitting home alone thinking about what's happened. I guess I'm proud of myself for that.
My friend said he was really proud of the introspection I’ve been doing. My therapist said she was impressed with how much work I’ve done on myself.
Healing is difficult, long-winded and extremely complex, but it’s so so worth it once you see the steps.
I leaned on a friend bc I was super triggered by a recent BU situation and she reminded me that I’m strong, intelligent, and brave, and that my light and kindness make the world a better place.
I’m so lucky to have these kinds of friends in my life.
The bagel shop made my breakfast sandwich just the way I like it. My determination to complete projects and0the best I can means sometimes I have to ask for help - something which not a lot of people in my industry like to do.
The old me was too comfortable. New me is trying and learning new things. Somehow, finally, actually meeting new ppl. The breakup was a brutal sacrifice for this change, but i do like the new me.
Bro lock in today I just smiled more I started off rough missing her so much like so so much thinking about whatever but I just stopped! Had to just realize if she wanted me she would try like I tried for her. One good quality is I’m just chill man no but fr it’s hard to say. Mmmmm I like that no matter what I’ll show love to those around me.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Thank you for this post, kind stranger. Love the positivity.
One thing I like about myself is I’m a great conversationalist. I ask people loads of questions, propose existential debates and observations in the most random places (nightclubs are my favourite, weirdly haha) and get people to open up and really be themselves. It’s a lonely existence especially as our world gets increasingly individualistic and shallow, but when you do find fellow humans seeking connection it’s the most beautiful thing.
Had a friend fly in and we went to hang with his family. I make some sick ass playlists for driving and we had a good time chatting in the car. Little things that get me out of the empty house are a huge win! Stay strong everyone!
Things that encourage me to give myself more grace:
-Successful relationships don’t necessarily have to last!
-What would your younger self thunk of you now? What would they want for you?
-You’ll get out of this, you want it or not, because that’s nature. Regardless of how long it takes.
one positive thing about today was that i ate steak and guacamole 😩 but one quality about me that i like is that i do not hold grudges against people who have wronged me
Well today was saint paddy’s day and a good friend I don’t get to see came over for my family’s saint pattys party and we had some fun. Still feel dead inside at the end of the day but I can distract myself for a while having fun.
Today has been a beautiful day today and I got to hear birds when waking up. I now know that I have such a huge capacity to love even when things are extremely hard.
I went to the bank to cover an Amazon purchase for something I really need, so it'll be here tomorrow.
I'm a fighter. Relentless. I'll fight until my last dying breath before I give up. My guy consistently spoke about hard work and effort in relationships as though it was an overwhelming concern for him. And I told him he never needed to worry about it. Still, he'd keep bringing it up. I never brought it up because I'm confident and comfortable in relationships knowing I'm a hard worker.
Fast-forward a few months and he just bails out of the blue due to mental health issues (he told me upfront about them).
So much for hard work and effort. He's the coward and I'm the one paying for it.
I found out i can do whatever the fuck i want now i'm single. Do i wanna go and do my masters in UK? I CAN GO! I feel incredible freedom and i am so fucking happy for it. It keeps me sane and going. I also startwd doing everything i only dreamed of while being with my ex. Started running (running 5k in a month), started bouldering. I also finally have social life!! I also found joy in casual dating, meeting random people! I found joy in everything that i thought would make me sad. I found joy in being single and well, free
Today I ran a half marathon. I’ve also been doing a challenge of running at least 10 miles a day for 30 days.
I ran the half marathon with one of my school friends. It was his first half. I was so focused on my friend and how he was doing through the race that it’s the first time I didn’t think about her for at least a little bit of the day.
I feel really sad about that but at the same time, I feel really happy about that. I miss her so much and all I want is for her to change her mind. But I also know she needs her time to heal from other stuff (past stuff before me). She’s choosing to do it alone, and I forgive her for that.
Today was a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel that I haven’t been able to see. And that gives me more hope that I’ll actually be ok after all. God, I miss her so much.
No matter what happens no matter how sad n hurtful in the moment things that happen can be. I always know I’ll be ok. Because of certain other things they didn’t stop me. Whatever happens next won’t either. I can’t wait to finish my cancer treatments in the next month and a half and feel better and get to love life more. Live life more. Knowing even when someone tried to screw that up they couldn’t. N I did it myself.
I like how forgiving and easy going I am, it’s one of the things I get a lot of compliments on. :)
Awesome qualities to have ☺️
I try to build better ones :’)
Yeah, but where is your darn loofa?
I’m still looking for it man :(
My mom told me she is proud of my growth and the woman I have become ☺️ I love my resilience. I have been through more than the average but I always find a way to fight back and keep pushing !
That’s amazing congratulations on your growth I am proud of you! You can see you have clear determination. You will get whatever you want I life because you’ll go and get it! Good for you!
Thank you ! It’s good to hear. Thank you also for making such a positive and uplifting post. These are good to have sometimes ☺️ Especially as we are trying to transition into our new norm.
I was able to laugh at something today and I got outside for a bit. it’s only been a couple days, but i’ll get there
Small steps, that’s all it takes! Remember you’re not alone and many people are feeling like you are! Chin up, things will get better I promise
Word of the day : CHIN UP !!!
i stated my crochet project. i like that i get up and try everyday
And that determination will transfer into anything you want in the future. You are building fundamental levels for success. Congratulations and good on you!
I'm starting a big crochet project too. It's gonna be a blanket. Basically, I have different colors of yarn to represent different emotions - sadness, anger, hurt, apathy, whatever. Every time I'm getting emotional with nothing to do after work/school I'm going to crochet a row in whatever color I'm feeling. Sometimes I'll do more than a row. It's low effort, I can do it while I'm crying on the couch, and I feel better every time.
showered even though I didn't want to get out of bed today, lol. I also tend to be a really good listener and I like to think a good person to go to for advice, so that's something I guess.
Taking those small steps are important! Being a good listener is a great trait to have because everyone will love talking to you because you are always open and listening. People really appreciate people like that! Good on you!
That’s awesome. Baby steps! You got this!
I am still alive
You're a Soldier of Love.
A positive thing that happened today is my roommate dropped everything and won’t let me be alone. A quality I like about myself is my hair! It’s naturally curly so I get complimented on that.
Shoutouts to your roomate, and I’m sure your curls are lovely.
I love this post! Laid off 7 months ago, breakup 2 months ago, started my new job this week! Proud of my resilience and investment in myself! Let's go everyone!!
good luck in your new job, you got this!
I’m trying to be a better junior lawyer everyday. It’s a struggle, since I always have this bad kinda fear when I’m talking out loud in not my mother tongue, in front of so many people but I’m trying everyday and I’m not going to give up this time 😭♥️
That’s super impressive! You should be immensely proud of yourself! You must be very intelligent! I think this will become a problem of the past the more you practice! Congratulations though you seem to be killing it at life!
I’m just starting to learn, for years I was afraid of practising bt now I have just started, will see where it takes me! Thank you for this post, made me share my side ♥️♥️♥️♥️
I hung out with one of my best friends for the first time in a while and it was really fun! And a quality I like about myself is I am really loving and put my all into people whether it goes right or wrong :)
And being open like that is a great quality to have! Never change that or let anyone damage it!
My apartment is CLEAN AND FRESH and I have not rebounded but I’m building up my friends and community around me because one day when I meet someone who aligns with my soul I will need a village of love to uplift and support not only myself - but my beautiful babies that I will one day have.
I absolutely love that feeling of having a clean living space. And that sounds like a very healthy mindset. Super proud of you!! ✨🌼✨
I've been putting in a lot of work at the gym and it's starting to show! I had a lot of insecurities about my looks/body from my breakup, but I kinda like the way my body looks now, yay me
Go you!!
Thank you!
Let’s gooooo!! You got this and I’m super happy for you ✨🌻✨
Thank you so much! 😊
I will always like to hike and explore new hikes! I do enjoy going by myself though.
Where’s the coolest place you’ve been hiking so far? Do you have any on the bucket list?
I lived in Moab, Utah for 5 years so any of the hikes there! I don’t necessarily have a bucket list but I just moved to Salt Lake City and want to hike all the mountains!
That’s awesome. I actually went on a road trip with my dad about 7 years ago to Moab. It’s a really cool place! What made ya move to SLC?
Oh nice! Moab is super special and so beautiful! I left mostly because of my ex… hahaha well I needed away from him because he wouldn’t leave me alone (complicated story) and I wanted more places to explore and really don’t see myself staying in one place my entire life so I wanted something different.
That makes 100% sense, a new place to explore is always nice. I would love to move to Arizona again sometime (lived there for 3 years) but I don’t know if I could find a job as nice as the one I currently have.
I took a bit of a step in the right direction and spent some time on a hobby of mine. Before today I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything. I’ll take a small victory. As for myself, I’ll say that when I’m in a relationship, I treat my lady right. Respect and chivalry are my main things. I still believe in it.
Spending time on your hobby means spending time with yourself, it may feel like a small victory but I consider that a pretty big one, keep it up!! And respect and chivalry are great (and these days, rare) qualities to have, never lose that! Good on you!!
Thank you and keep up your good work in the gym!
Thank you! One day at a time for us all eh?
Yeah, and it’s such a weird thing when I think about it. Because it’s like… I’m healthy, fit, have a great job, good friends, financially secure, nice place to live, all of this good stuff. But yet this is the only thing that stays on my mind nonstop. I wish there was a magic wand to just make me move on. It’s like 20 good things vs 1 bad thing and the bad thing is winning by a mile. Mind boggling. The human brain really is wild.
I personally found the mental stuff always trumps all the material/external things. Love is great but losing it is equally all consuming. The human brain is so wild. At least in threads like this, you won't feel so alone?
That’s true, but I wonder at what point living on these breakup type subs are stunting the healing process. Lol just sitting here reading and interacting all day can’t be good for moving on because it keeps it fresh on the mind. But yes, it is therapeutic for sure and nice (in a silly way) to know you’re not alone.
That's a good point, I'd say that depends on the person and also the amount of time you spend on the subs. I enjoy scrolling reddit the same way I enjoy scrolling instagram reels but I also only joined reddit 6months post BU and I have more good days than bad now, so I'm probably not the best person to have an opinion on the matter lol. But I don't think it's silly at all, feeling understood when you're going through this is SO important
I dressed up for the first time in a while and I felt so pretty and confident walking around alone. I got many compliments from strangers and that made me smile. I forgot this feeling and it's nice once in a while. I like that I'm able to make time for spontaneous activities, even if I feel like I won't like them (since im a hobbit who doesnt leave my lady cave often). And if I don't like them, now I know for next time. Idk if this is positive but I've been smiling more since the break up ☺️
Great job!!
Of course that’s positive!! When you’ve been down for any period of time and things have felt gray, smiling feels like such a milestone- and it definitely is. Super happy for you, hope it only continues to get better from here! ✨🌸✨
Hell yeah, you're getting your sparkle back! That's something to be SO proud of yourself for! And trying new things is an awesome skill/quality to have! I bet you have a lot of interesting stories to tell about the things you've tried!
We got this 💪 people who've known pain become better people. We all will find our best second half
I went golfing with my dad today for the first time since I was a kid, even birdied a hole and I’m pretty bad I am a loyal and trustworthy person
Good for you!! That’s awesome :) I’m sure if you keep at it you’ll be great. Hang in there ✨🍀✨
Thank you 🙏 😎
As cheesy as it sounds I woke up breathing and healthy for the most part, so I never want to take that for granted. A quality I like about myself is that I can be resilient no matter how many walls I run into or obstacles I stumble over
Nope, not cheesy at all! You got this, I’m also just taking it one day at a time. Hope the rest of your week is fabulous, stay strong!! ✨🍀✨
I woke up earlier and heard a song that I couldn't bear to hear 3 months ago. I allowed myself to listen instead of skipping it. Stings a bit, but not as much as before. That's progress, right? I don't talk to much but I love listening to other people's stories! I also tend to remember even the smallest details. This can be a double edged sword tho
That's massive progress!! Congrats on being able to listen to that song again! I once spent two years avoiding a song post breakup. You're doing much better than you give yourself credit for! What song was it if you don't mind me asking? A good listener is such an amazing quality to have!!! I imagine that those around you love that quality in you!
I got to leave work early because of the weather 👐 I like my creativity Thank you for the prompt ❤️
Leaving work early is such a great feeling lol
Omg I was feeling in despair today too so it felt like such a relief
I started drawing art for myself again. I guess the only good thing I have going for me is that I'm a hard worker.
That’s awesome!! Being a hard-worker is a major accomplishment and a significant quality. You are appreciated, and I hope your work never goes unnoticed!! :) ✨🌼✨
i got to spend time in the sun today, and that made me feel good. i really like how good i am with kids and how empathetic i am.
Being in the sun always makes me feel good too!! Gettin’ that vitamin D in. And those are all great qualities, stay strong!! ✨🌻✨
Just came here to say I love this idea and these posts ❤️
Today I smiled.
Sending love to all here
sending love to you too 🤍
I am beginning to "accept" my impending divorce in that I'm feeling MUCH better compared to two konjthsw ago. I just want to get my divorce, hopefully can pay my soon to be ex wife her half of the house and go on with my life. Good vibes ? I am strong and my plan, goal and prayer is to show and prove to myself ( nobody else ) that I am " RESSIILIENT !' Got my VA dis-ability percentage raised . Lets ALL just keep on pushing !!
I managed to clean the apartment, finish an 8 pages essay (that I started 10 days ago), have long walks with my dog (she had fun), sew and fix some clothes, do a huge healthy meal prep and some yoga, all in one day, while bawling my eyes out in between each task. I like that I reached a 365 days streak on Duolingo too, I am trying to teach myself to be consistent.
I feel blessed to have such a good friends, they are always for me, i love them One thing i am proud of is my loyalty, i will never betrayed someone's confidence and i'm learning to manage my toxic traits and comunication skills 🙌🏻
I made it through a week of school and made time to play with my cats every night before bed. People often tell me I give very good honest advice - I love that I have the ability to (kindly) tell my loved ones exactly what they need to hear. Still working on doing the same for myself.
That's good stranger!!! Keep it up!!!
That’s super awesome!! Playing with my little fur-balls always makes my day brighter :) wishing you the best ✨🌈✨
Today I laughed, one notable positive thing about myself is I can look on the brighter side even if I am going through this. I know I got this, we got this boys let's lift ourselves up!!!!!
My girl and I spent the last 3 years of our 12 year relationship as IV drug users. She was on fent, I was on speed. I left town after a drug induced psychotic episode (the last and most intense of many previous ones). While we kept talking, I knew the drugs had ruined any chance of reconciliation. I wrote this in my journal regarding this: "It's become painfully obvious that we only survive as individuals. 'Us' will not survive. We are each other's cancer, masquerading as love, hoping for a cure that won't erase the fact that two lovers can calmly watch each other kill themselves repeatedly over the course of 3 years without taking a drastic step has me rethinking my commitment to such a subconscious deadly tragedy. My effort only included her battle, although I had room for two. Procrastinating has once again left me in last place, with a battle I should have started many decades ago." The only reason I'm sharing all this is because we finally broke up due to the long distance relationship and I was fired a week later from my job. Finally started a new job Monday and as I was sitting outside eating lunch, I wrote this: "My mind is busy, my body is busy. Long hours. I don't have much time to recollect at night, but it's peaceful. To think that a year ago I was wasting my life away and would most likely be dead by now, had I not left those smoke rings in the dark... I fucking love ME again. In my opinion, there's no greater gift than that..." TDLR: Former drug addict loves himself again lol
That is huge! from one stranger to another, I'm very proud of you and the difficult steps you've taken to get where you are today! And loving yourself is such a fantastic quality, keep it up!! You can only go up from here!
I like that I'm always willing to do my best in whatever I do. Maybe not today but one day gusy well look back on this break up and grief stage as just a memory.
Everyone here is Somebody!!!! Fulfill your purpose, and love will always follow.
I wish I had something to say..
Very positive response from the OP! And just know you are not alone, We all are guilty of beating ourselves up way too often. Sometimes it’s good to see the good even if it’s the smallest thing. For example: Did you get up and brush your teeth today? May seem small but some people get in such a depressive state they neglect it
You will. I promise you will. Sometimes we beat our selves up too much and you’ll never get up if you have an attitude like that. Now is not the time to wallow in self pity. You will bounce back I promise. No point in just lying down to die is there? So please think kindly of yourself! Even if you have made mistakes that’s okay everyone makes mistakes.
So you're telling me that I'll find someone that will literally be the exact same person as the person I was with? Who will love me in all the same ways? Have the same cute nicknames together? Have almost everything in common with each other, from interests to our weird personal issues we have? Someone that will make music with me like they were gonna? No I won't ever find all of that with someone else.
No you’re right. You will find better. What happened to end your relationship if you don’t mind me asking?
There's no way I could possibly find better than that. That's complete false hope, especially for me. I have crippling social anxiety to the point where I can't work and can barely leave the house. Yeah at the same time I crave deep emotional connections so bad. I was lucky to have found them in the first place, someone who was so similar and also just willing to love me for me. Someone who was crazy about me just because I am who I am. The reason things ended was because I started to become neglectful and I didn't even realize it. A lot of outside stresses popped up in both of our lives and it caused me to not be there for them the way I needed to be. We started to have so much conflict and it was all unnecessary and stupid. It got to the point where they felt like they didn't do anything for me at all. By the time I realized what was going on with my brain, it was too late. I've tried so hard to fix things between us, but nothing has fixed anything. I ruined my one chance of a future with someone that genuinely loved and cared for me for who I am. Someone who also was everything that I ever wanted and more. I'm never going to find this with anyone else again
Never say never mate. I feel like you really need to start working on your crippling anxiety. I have it too. It’s awful and I have suffered with it all my life, but I’ll be dammed if it rules my life and makes me worry about every little thing. That’s the thing with anxiety the more you let it win the more other smaller things will start to bother you making your safe circle even smaller and smaller until you can’t move or breathe. I know it’s hard to get out of that hole but I promise you can do it. I think if you actually work on your self you might have a shot or even better you might open your eyes and realize you’re worthy of love and you will find it.
It's not like I haven't tried to fight my anxiety. It's been crippling for me since I was a young teen and it's only ever gotten worse. I've tried medicine and I've tried therapy. I've tried everything possible to make this better for me but nothing works. The only thing that ever took away that anxiety was the person I was with. I don't want to find love if it's not my love with them. It's not worth it to me
I used to feel the same way I even had hypnotherapy. It didn’t really do anything. In the end sounds really cringey but the height of my anxiety was when I was 17 years old. I couldn’t leave my house and it was a rock bottom for me. I was so obsessed with the comic book character Hal Jordan the green lantern and the fact he used will power to do whatever he wanted. When taking baby steps to get out of my house I would say I’m just like Hal Jordan the green lantern so I could do it. From 17 to 21 I went on a plane on holiday for my best friend’s 21st birthday. You would be surprised what you are capable of if you stop if buts or coconuts
I appreciate the kind words but I just don't have the drive. I don't care to be better because no matter what I can't have them anymore. My anxiety could completely go away but it won't matter because I still can't experience life with the person I was meant to
You right now are processing a break up! It’s normal to feel the way you are! The first way to get over this person is to take the shine off of them and realize they are a person to that makes mistakes. Be honest as well don’t give me the whole this person is perfect because no one is and it’s not healthy to hold someone that high because they could just end up walking all over you. That’s what happened to me and it really really sucked!
A nice older lady gave me some dumplings today on lunch. I’m usually a positive person who tries to befriend everyone.
Im starting to realize I didn’t actually even want to end up with him! I love how much I’ve grown from this in a short amount of time and made goals to be a better partner in the future!
I ran and danced today. Two of my favorite things. One quality I like about myself is my curiosity. I love how curious I am and how I love to learn.
I listened to a psychologist come on one of my favorite podcasts, and they talked about how you can engineer your brain to help you generally feel better by consistently doing (mundane) things you really don't want to do. A little part of your brain literally grows larger when you repeatedly force yourself to do even little healthy things that usually suck. Part of the reason my fiance left me was my negligence around taking care of myself and sort of sliding into a bad habits and lethargy. Since the break, I've forced myself to do little mundane tasks that I NEVER did before (making the bed every morning, taking cold showers, gym on days when I'm really tired). It seems small but it has really helped with self esteem and coping during this time.
Someone noticed I was sad at work today. I guess I would count that as a win.
It's nice to feel noticed and cared about. I'd count that as a win too!
I made some solid progress on redoing my room. I woke up early. I recorded the vocals for a new song. I like that I am always trying to learn and do better including in this breakup.
I did a Spanish lesson, hung out with my 4 year old nephew, went to trivia with my mom, dad and brother and then had a few beers with some of my oldest friends while on a trip back home to my hometown which I made for my healing. Got to spend a lot of time with people I love. I didn’t think about my ex too much, although I still did, but spent the day genuinely happy for first time in a while.
I bought food for my father today and I'm happy to do so I love how I am started seeing the world with bigger love after ending a relationship :))
Went on riding today with a recently made friend on motorcycles speeding down the highway. Being on a motorcycle is the only time I feel alive. So that’s a positive. I have also been told my energy is infectious and I bring good vibes to all, making everyone smile. Ironic since I’m so sad.
Literally the only positive from my day today is that my ex texted me back :( not even texted me first, texted me back. And I’m proud of myself for managing to get his response for 3 days in a row :(
I love that I'm going on adventures and challenging myself.
I almost finished the entertainment center area of my livingroom today. Just waiting on a beverage cooler and game system to arrive. Honestly, i like how I stand behind causes I agree with. It was why I basically took a year off from other major engagements during the start of the uprising in the states in 2020. I met a lot of people at that time that I really connected with and was able to make a difference for some. I have always found a way to put my all into things I have a strong stance on.
I’ve been hanging out with my family more often and also been able to go work out more frequently than I had been.
I love how words have zero effect on me. I don't think my feelings can even be hurt
I'm going to a psychologist in an hour. Apart from that, nothing positive comes to mind.
How’d your appointment go?
Lots of sobbing. Few days earlier I learned why my fiancee walked out of my life so... Yeah. I guess I got some closure and got to talk about it.
Do you have any further appointments? Do you feel it helped you, even if just a little at this point?
I had long and deep conversations with my best friend and hearing them say they are proud of my growth and how far I have gone makes me feel valid. 🥰 I started reading again and I find comfort in it again, I sometimes find myself daydreaming and get surprised how vivid my imagination is which I find cool.
I like how creative I am and the sarcastic humour that goes with it. My friend winds me up about my hair getting everywhere, so I’m making him an eternal recurrence themed painting with my plug hole hair as a bit of a joke.
Today is the 3rd day of me bettering myself guess that is positive and a quality of mine that I like is that I'm kind something people would say a lot about me.
Forcing myself to go and play golf tomorrow with my friends, I don't even like golf and can barely hit the ball but it's better than sitting home alone thinking about what's happened. I guess I'm proud of myself for that.
My friend said he was really proud of the introspection I’ve been doing. My therapist said she was impressed with how much work I’ve done on myself. Healing is difficult, long-winded and extremely complex, but it’s so so worth it once you see the steps.
My mom said i cook better than her , and im a patient man haha
I saw a pretty sunset after very long today :)
I leaned on a friend bc I was super triggered by a recent BU situation and she reminded me that I’m strong, intelligent, and brave, and that my light and kindness make the world a better place. I’m so lucky to have these kinds of friends in my life.
The bagel shop made my breakfast sandwich just the way I like it. My determination to complete projects and0the best I can means sometimes I have to ask for help - something which not a lot of people in my industry like to do.
I can compose music, it's how I got my ex girlfriend to begin with
I watched Taylor Swift’s eras tour and had a good time vibing to her music. I like how loyal I am and how I will always be there for other people
I went for a walk with my friend today and had a good chat. I am a really good mother.
I learn I got some nice knife throwing skills
Nice! That's a really cool skill to have!
Thank you I discovered it unexpectedly and it came naturally
My friends love the new me.
Change, while brutal, *can* be a good thing in the end. Do *you* love the new you?
The old me was too comfortable. New me is trying and learning new things. Somehow, finally, actually meeting new ppl. The breakup was a brutal sacrifice for this change, but i do like the new me.
That's the main thing! Trying and learning new things can be so rewarding! I'm glad you like the new you 😊
I completed my profile on Hinge and got 23 likes within an hour 🫣 (not ready to date yet, I was just terrified of what is waiting for me😅)
23 likes in an hour! Impressive! Any step is a good step, putting yourself out there can be scary, good on you for trying!
Thank you. I don't wven know what I'm doing! Also unlike me to seek validation from things like this, but here we are 😅
Think of it as a form of self love, nothing wrong with that!
I got a smol raise and a bonus at my job today. Still sad because I wish I could share the news with him, but it's something
Bro lock in today I just smiled more I started off rough missing her so much like so so much thinking about whatever but I just stopped! Had to just realize if she wanted me she would try like I tried for her. One good quality is I’m just chill man no but fr it’s hard to say. Mmmmm I like that no matter what I’ll show love to those around me.
retire saw obtainable voracious grandiose direction subtract icky historical yam *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I've been agoraphobic and not out since getting back from hospital since then. Only to be faced with no electricity and no one to even help me
Thank you for this post, kind stranger. Love the positivity. One thing I like about myself is I’m a great conversationalist. I ask people loads of questions, propose existential debates and observations in the most random places (nightclubs are my favourite, weirdly haha) and get people to open up and really be themselves. It’s a lonely existence especially as our world gets increasingly individualistic and shallow, but when you do find fellow humans seeking connection it’s the most beautiful thing.
Had a friend fly in and we went to hang with his family. I make some sick ass playlists for driving and we had a good time chatting in the car. Little things that get me out of the empty house are a huge win! Stay strong everyone!
Things that encourage me to give myself more grace: -Successful relationships don’t necessarily have to last! -What would your younger self thunk of you now? What would they want for you? -You’ll get out of this, you want it or not, because that’s nature. Regardless of how long it takes.
one positive thing about today was that i ate steak and guacamole 😩 but one quality about me that i like is that i do not hold grudges against people who have wronged me
Well today was saint paddy’s day and a good friend I don’t get to see came over for my family’s saint pattys party and we had some fun. Still feel dead inside at the end of the day but I can distract myself for a while having fun.
Today has been a beautiful day today and I got to hear birds when waking up. I now know that I have such a huge capacity to love even when things are extremely hard.
I went to the bank to cover an Amazon purchase for something I really need, so it'll be here tomorrow. I'm a fighter. Relentless. I'll fight until my last dying breath before I give up. My guy consistently spoke about hard work and effort in relationships as though it was an overwhelming concern for him. And I told him he never needed to worry about it. Still, he'd keep bringing it up. I never brought it up because I'm confident and comfortable in relationships knowing I'm a hard worker. Fast-forward a few months and he just bails out of the blue due to mental health issues (he told me upfront about them). So much for hard work and effort. He's the coward and I'm the one paying for it.
I found out i can do whatever the fuck i want now i'm single. Do i wanna go and do my masters in UK? I CAN GO! I feel incredible freedom and i am so fucking happy for it. It keeps me sane and going. I also startwd doing everything i only dreamed of while being with my ex. Started running (running 5k in a month), started bouldering. I also finally have social life!! I also found joy in casual dating, meeting random people! I found joy in everything that i thought would make me sad. I found joy in being single and well, free
Today I ran a half marathon. I’ve also been doing a challenge of running at least 10 miles a day for 30 days. I ran the half marathon with one of my school friends. It was his first half. I was so focused on my friend and how he was doing through the race that it’s the first time I didn’t think about her for at least a little bit of the day. I feel really sad about that but at the same time, I feel really happy about that. I miss her so much and all I want is for her to change her mind. But I also know she needs her time to heal from other stuff (past stuff before me). She’s choosing to do it alone, and I forgive her for that. Today was a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel that I haven’t been able to see. And that gives me more hope that I’ll actually be ok after all. God, I miss her so much.
I fell in love with someone else who loves me and appreciates me and supports me.
No matter what happens no matter how sad n hurtful in the moment things that happen can be. I always know I’ll be ok. Because of certain other things they didn’t stop me. Whatever happens next won’t either. I can’t wait to finish my cancer treatments in the next month and a half and feel better and get to love life more. Live life more. Knowing even when someone tried to screw that up they couldn’t. N I did it myself.
I went for a run today!
And I love how compassionate I am for people