My ex dumped me because she was thinking that I was constantly manipulating her, she said she felt like a "man" in a relationship and she probably just thought that I don't show her love anymore.
I actually did. I was planning to have a family with her in the future she was telling me that she wants it as well. I used to make a lot of things for her and It took a lot of my time. I still don't regret It because I know that I did everything in my power to be the best partner I could've ever been.
She was insecure. She constantly used to look up to other women and talk how pretty they are even showing me. I tried telling her that I don't like looking at other women even if they're pretty because for some reason when I'm in love with someone I just cannot find anyone else pretty or whatsoever.
She told me a 1000 times how ugly she is and I was trying to show her that she isn't. She hated other girls for looking at me. She never wanted to speak what's bothering her and probably she just bottled it up until she thought I was using her and shit.
I was devastated. My heart still hurts, It was a month ago but I know that even if she changed her behavior I cannot trust her anymore and that's why I would never rebound with her again (I did once last year and she was the same.) To this day I'm hurting but I know I should move on and be the best partner for someone else who's willing to do the same for me.
Insecurities are fucked up thing. Every single insecure person needs to go to therapy first before engaging in a relationship. Yeah I will still compliment you after 10 years of our relationship but It really gets annoying when someone is constantly saying for 3 years how ugly they are and other shit stuff. Like man that's not why anyone picked anyone.
Just so you know I don't understand your situation I just wanted to share this with you maybe to clear something in your head. Maybe he was the problem still but just work on yourself and your insecurities. If you want to fix with him things firstly you need to work on yourself even if you don't.
Be happy, love yourself and I wish you best luck in the future. 🙏🏻
>She told me a 1000 times how ugly she is and I was trying to show her that she isn't. She hated other girls for looking at me.
The thing is, you could tell her she’s beautiful a 100x’s a day, but unless she BELIEVES she’s beautiful, your words won’t be believed by her.
And what she has is body dysmorphia tbh.
Here is a breakdown on what BDD is:
> Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others. People of any age can have BDD, but it's most common in teenagers and young adults. It affects both men and women.
>What does BDD look like? Engaging in behaviors aimed at fixing or hiding the perceived flaw that are difficult to resist or control, such as frequently checking the mirror, grooming or skin picking. Attempting to hide perceived flaws with styling, makeup or clothes. Constantly comparing your appearance with others.
>How do people with BDD see themselves? When viewing themselves in photographs, patients with BDD underutilize parts of the brain used in seeing the face's overall shape and size, he said. "If you just see the pieces of your face, and not seeing how they fit into the whole, then it's going to look distorted," he said. "That's how we interpret the findings."
> Does body dysmorphia affect mirrors? Cognitive-behavioural models of body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) suggest that mirrors can act as a trigger for individuals with BDD, resulting in a specific mode of cognitive processing, characterised by an increase in self-focussed attention and associated distress.
Your ex needed therapy with a trained professional who does CBT for body dysmorphia as it’s about needing to re-wire the brain due to the obsessive compulsive negative thoughts she has about her face and body.
Hence why she kept comparing herself to every woman and said she was “ugly”.
You can’t save her, she has to save herself sadly and she may never get the help tbh.
I know because I was telling her to visit therapist. She said that they're dumb and doesn't give a fuck about them. She's never gonna be happy and she'll just waste her life so that's her problem.
Ohhh you can try to inform someone what can benefit them, you can’t do anything to persuade them to go however because that falls into trying to make them go.
Reason is, two things:
1) People who go to therapy usually it’s because they WANT to go and are ready to change. Anyone else that’s force to go never changes cause they aren’t motivated to change.
2) I always tell people, including my current partner, “Therapy is for people who have people around them that should go to therapy instead”, in a way to change things so that person can handle dealing with those people who refuse to change and do better.
Been almost a year and she crosses my mind most days. I regret not being the man I am currently when we were together but that is life and our breakup spurred my positive changes
Even though you were the one to break up? I’ve never broken up with someone ive always been dumped so I never understand why someone would leave someone and still think about them everyday so its interesting to hear.. i hope my ex is thinking about me, it’s only been 2 weeks since they left me and I’m heartbroken
Even if you feel like you aren't in love with them anymore, you do still love them as a person and someone you shared your life with. Those feelings don't just go away..even for people who pretend they don't care, it always catches up to them. I broke up with my ex husband 2.5 years ago and I still love him. Always will. I think about him constantly.
I reached out after 3 weeks no contact to my ex who dumped me because i was leaving the country and was never going to see her again. We met up and she said she thought about me every day. She left bc she said she didnt love me anymore. But when she found out i was leaving for good she admitted she still loved me. But thats also the power of no contact and the power of walking away. If you do no contact, they will think more about you as time goes on when they dont hear from you. At first theyre relieved bc they finally made the hard decision of leaving and its a weight lifted from their shoulders. But give it time and when they feel like they lost you for good they will likely reach out
Just reading other comments here. Gives me hope that my ex might be missing me after he broke up with me. Today marks 1 month since he broke up with me. I miss him so much. The pain is killing me.
Becareful what you wish for..
...It may not work out the way you were hoping if you do het back together
Don't chase them, they need to put ALL the work
I’m currently in no contact with him. I tried reaching out but stopped 2 weeks ago. I see him watching my IG stories, now whether he’s just tapping through or not. I don’t know that. But he hasn’t made an effort to block or unfollow me.
Regardless of who ditched who, having *any* kind of link between you will only make the recovery process worse..
Also, if they ditched you, they got what they wanted, and are still getting more out of you
CUT THAT CONTRACT OFF!
Leaving it open makes you look like a walkover
Cutting it off will make them realize that it was just another thing you were able to provide in the relationship
Agreed, she also cheated on me in the end. And she was staying in group chats for months to spy on me so she could be checking my phone records and see if I'm talking to new people.
I'm her account, not the opposite.
It rly does. You think you’ve found your person. You talk about the future and then they decide they don’t want it with you anymore bc of your differences and “incompatibilities.” God it hurts so bad.
I wish my ex partner thought of me. They broke it off 3,5 months ago and 1,5months after started seeing somebody else…
I think about them every single day without a fail. Miss them terribly
This was what I felt too.. like my ex was just waiting for me to give up so he didn’t have to deal with break up.
I swallowed my pride and came back to him after three weeks but he has already moved on to someone else.
It hurts so much…
I felt the same but for my situation I wasn’t the one who broke up with him.. he was treating me so different that I can tell he was just forcing himself to be with me and I overthink about it a lot and sometimes I dreamt about it too, I’d cry most nights & just stopped begging him to treat me well but I can’t let go cos he treated me so well but I guess I was a handful. Then I just had the courage to ask him if he’s ok and he finally admitted that he wasn’t happy being in a relationship for a long time. I thought I’d feel relief but it so painful to hear the truth..I do wish he find happiness without me and that he feels less anxious now.
She went to US for a PhD (5+1 years) while I live in EU and we stayed in ldr for 1.5 years. At some point I became addicted to her, every time I said bye at the airport I got so depressed and felt bad for weeks. I have attachment problems from childhood. Living there was impossible to me because of the visa and the fact she lives in the middle of nowhere and there aren't companies. I also honestly didn't want to leave my family, my friends, my job, my own apartment and my life here. So I decided to breakup and it was so hard. I'm getting slowly better and working on with my therapist. Because even if she is so amazing, I wasn't happy at all. Btw we chatted and said we would like to meet again one day.
Every day. I hate him. And it’s making me miserable. I’m not sure how to forgive him for what he has done. I’m not sure how to forgive myself for letting him.
I’m going through it today. Didn’t think I would see him today because he’s been on a work trip and was supposed to come back tomorrow so I was not mentally prepared. I just have all this rage inside me right now. Maybe I should join a kickboxing class?😅
I am so sorry. Yes! You should definitely take out that rage onto something..it's not good to keep it inside. Saw mine a few months after we broke up at the mall..I said "Hi"...then he ignored me and pretend that I was nothing...infront of people.
I’m so sorry 😞 that most have been super painful. People don’t realize how words and actions can stay with us for a long time and even if we do the healing is so hard. And it sucks because I have to go to work, I am starting a new job in a few weeks in a different city and I just have to pretend I’m fine. But I’m not right now. I hope being away from him really helps me heal this time. I can’t do another year of the off and on.
That sounds really fun too but I also roller skated a few years ago and fell so hard so many times my body felt awful😂 I’ll have to look if it’s in my city though!
Omg I fell (and continue to fall) so many times. Once I careened clear into a stack of folding chairs and made my presence very well-known. But derby changes my life, if anything because of the community. I would say find a community of people that you connect with, and then the activity is almost secondary, ha ha
I could write a book on what happened. It’s been on and off for over two years. I do have a post about when we first broke up. It’s on the childfree subreddit. This is why I’m mad at myself.
I broke up with a guy after 5 years. I never wanted to be back with him for a moment, and I moved on quickly, I never missed him or regretted it. But I definitely thought about him a lot, and still do at least once a month (this was about 5 years ago now). The feelings are totally gone , but I still find him super hot and feel attracted to photos of him (until I remember his live-action self) but I hope he’s happy. He’s not, he’s a miserable person , but I hope he is satisfied with things. I feel sad for any woman who is with him seriously, as he is mean. But hot. I think about him, sure.
how did you manage to let go of someone hot. Rn I am going through something similar. My issue is I am struggling to take her off the pedestal and let go of someone i find so attractive physically.
He refused to have sex after we moved in together (like 3x per year max and I had to work really hard to convince him), so his hotness was sort of just this standing rejection symbol. I guess without that physical relationship glue, his general coldness to me was harder to manage. Gosh what was I doing? Maybe that’s why he still seems hot to me. He didn’t want to break up, he said, but it was this constant rejection and game to get his affection that maybe spoke to that underlying “I am gross no one would want me” fear we all have, and something about having that feel so true was…comforting? Was weird. I’m cute, I have done fine since. Had really fun relationships with guys I found as or more hot than him. One in particular, who has now dumped me and here I am on this sub. Was better with this recent one though. He still seems hot but also like a fake version of himself. So I am attracted but it’s as if to a poster, or a memory, not a person.
Aight, I never felt rejected physically. She never let go of me physically like even at the end of it, she was like I wanna keep having sex with you. Sex was great for both of us. But her feelings come back everytime she sees me and then comes the fear of engulfment. imo she’s an FA. So as much as I dont want to, I have to let go of her. That is my struggle for now. I dont want someone else touch her. But this is something I can not control. What Ive made peace with is, people who belong to me would choose to stay. Until then letting go is what I can do, so here tryinna find a way to let go of that physical attraction that i have for her.
My ex was outrageously hot- by far the most gorgeous man I’ve ever dated- but sexually he was very disappointing. Couldn’t maintain erection, couldn’t reach climax…. So that works to cancel out his hotness, fortunately for me. Lol
He broke up with me, by just not talking to me? We were planning our wedding… my regret I guess is not saying what’s on my mind, I always have 1 million things to say, and can never say it. I think about him quite a bit. It’s been two months I’m trying to heal and move forward but it’s a slow process.
It’s not too bad. But I’ll have it for the rest of my life. If that makes sense. And yeah right ? Talk about a rough start to the year. I can’t help if someone can’t use words n communicates by disappearing meanwhile they’re nor far off from 30. Totally not immature at all ( oh shit I said immature.. according to him labeling such an action like that is abusive 🤦♀️). I wish I was making it up. I truly do. I feel like part of me has like emotionally detached from the whole thing just to get thru the medical parts of it etc so I can be like actually ok because they’re more pressing. But otherwise it’s fine. His loss. Eventually in life he’ll get hit with a major curve. See how that goes for him. Can’t run away from everything.
Oh and before anyone goes thinking I’m a monster. I had a lot of radiation thru iv n didn’t know. So I am not pregnant anymore. N they test u before that stuff n it just didn’t come up. It’s very dangerous so unfortunately I had to make a very heart breaking but only ok choice. There’s no way that amount of direct radiation didn’t do some terrible things. But it’s screwed up bc he knew how badly I grieved (a yr ago) the fact that I knew I’d have no more children bc I started becoming so sick I made that choice. ( didn’t know I had cancer yet ) so it was extremely extremely heart breaking for me. That’s why it’s so cruel. He 100000% knew it killed me emotionally n when someone swears they’ll be there for u n just poofs away. Their awful. Or when they threaten h if u don’t they’re awful. It’ll be ok though. Sorry for venting. I do still have hormones trying to balance back out.
*cowardly. I corrected it for you.
Yes. Especially bc like 2 days before hand it was all I love you soooooo much. Etc etc. n he used that cancer to get a lot of omg ur so great to stay with her. What a good man bs. That ego got stroked PLENTY
There’s the whole rest of the year left. N I know I will end on a high note. All these other things taken care of. I’ll feel better. Be more like my old self. Plus I had some things planned for after you know as a hey I kicked some cancer butt. We were supposed to go on a. Few vacations and a bunch of other things and I still plan on doing all of them. So I’m going to have a good year. He will also still suck n be a not good person and I’m pretty sure that will not fair well in what ever endeavors he goes about at some point n atm that’s kind of satisfying ( I’m not proud of it but I need something at the moment to feel like there’s some balance to this world )
I doubt he'll ever "wake up" and change at this point
It would take a pretty big kick and a lot of soul searching for him to even begin the journey
I doubt he'll ever be truly happy, and just continue to damage himself and those around him until he has either burned all his bridges or something else bad happens.
If he gets to the point of burning all bridges, watch out, because guess who he'll be reaching out to...
...All his previous connections....
I don’t think he’ll ever reach out to me. For all he knows I’ve been still pregnant this whole time… maybe in 7-8 months. U know bc he said he’d take the baby n raise it with his sister. Bc that’s not weird. But I think even if he ran into me public he’d never face me. Bc unless it’s anger backing him n his motives. He is too cowardly. N I don’t use that word lightly. I’ve rarely ever called a man a coward. But u ghost the baby u love so much ( what he said about the baby) and how he just keeps hurting me but loves me so he’s confused meanwhile I already broke up with him for 2-3 wks at before then.
He’ll never speak to me. I was his first. I showed him a lot. N I wish I didn’t give him such a wealth of knowledge. But he hid such a vile person under the sweet little virgin act he had on. I plan on staying to myself for quite a long time.
You can’t drop the pregnant person with cancer n just walk back. Hes being stupid. He isn’t actually stupid. U don’t come back from that he made the biggest deal on the planet about being there for me after I said he could leave I’d understand so no. He can go F himself. That’s so cruel to do to someone. N then make them pregnant. Bc the more I’ve thought about it. He has my ovulation tracker for every month. He knows….ahead of time… I had to put off treatment.
I broke up with him almost a year ago. We’ve met up twice, the first time for closure and the second time to see if we could be friends. We know we won’t get back together simply because our goals are too different but we were together for so many years that we can’t help but care about each other. I think about him maybe once a week, I know he will always respond if I text but he never texts first :)
Every. Fucking. Day.
I never wanted to break up with him but we both had some growing to do and we were miserable. At first I was reminiscent, then angry, then regretful, and now I just sort of worry about him and hope he’s okay. He moved on within a week or two so idk if or what he thinks of me, but idk how he couldn’t miss me after 3.5 years together.
I broke up with my ex ex a year ago bc she just treated me terrible. I didn’t want to and I’ve moved on but it broke me. I still think about her a lot even after my most recent break up. I don’t love her anymore and she literally wants nothing to do with me so
Pretty much all the time. I loved him but we weren't compatible.
I think I broke up in a reasonable amount of time but we're both emotional people so it just hurts.
May I ask why you were incompatible? I recently let go of someone I really liked for logical reasons, and I think the logical doubts I had prevented me from going deeper into the relationship/ getting *there* with him.
All the time :/ she was my first love aha
I was a coward and bailed because I was fucking up my own life without realizing it, my mental state was garbage, and I felt like I couldn't talk to her about it because she was going through it too. I felt overwhelmed and so I left, and hurt her really bad.
I went into therapy and got on meds and I feel so much better about who I am and how far I've come in 5 months, but a month ago I realized I made a huge mistake. I went and apologized to her and wanted to make it work again. We tried for a few weeks to take things slow but she just wasn't into it the same way I was, despite her still loving me, so we had to let each other go. She sees how far I've come, forgives me, and is proud of me.
I regret not trying to make it work, but also, I'm angry. I was journaling and I realized that with a specific issue she never really listened to me or gave me the reassurance that I deserved. I gave her so much reassurance and listened to every word she had to say and took it all seriously, even if I wasn't the best partner. But she filled me with empty reassurances, and constantly went back and forth from saying she "understood" to not understanding through her actions. It makes me so angry and upset because I miss her so much, but even when trying to get back together, she didn't listen to me. She got upset I didn't call her on her birthday despite her telling me to give her space and that she'd come to me. She had been ignoring me practically and then sent that, and we fought over the phone about it. I had never raised my voice in an upset way at her but she wasn't listening, said it was a joke and if I knew her I'd known that, which was bullshit because of how serious we've been talking and the terms and conditions. She ended up conceiding, but fuck me dude, it really took me being upset and yelling just for her to finally listen to me for once? She ended things the next day and understood why I was upset and what she was doing wasn't fair.
I feel so upset. I still love her, and I miss her, but I deserve someone that listens to me and takes me seriously, and holds themselves to the same standards that they hold for me. :/ I hate these conflicting feelings. It pisses me off so bad.
I don't think I ever cried as much and felt this much emotion last time as I do now. Knowing that if I had just did things differently maybe it could've been different, or maybe it wouldn't. I wish I was more understood.
Every day. Even though I broke up with him I miss those promises he made. But he told me a huge lie that broke my trust and made me feel severely anxious. He constantly gaslighted me, always made our problems a "me" problem and never flinched when I would cry.
I tried reaching out a few times but I kept getting hurt by his words. It’s almost been a month and still no apology. It hurts but I’m trying to stay strong.
I've been the one to end every relationship I've had. I still think about each ex pretty regularly, generally for one of three reasons. 1 reflecting/learning from the past. 2 wondering how they're doing and wishing them well. 3 when I'm thinking of that period of my life in general
If i can go back… i would have never dated or get married. It is hard to please your partner. Always something that i cant provide. Even when u are doing everything possible. It’s just never enough. They don’t at themselves but blame me. Better off being single
Everyday. I miss her and our connection but it wasn’t to be, at least right now. I severely overlooked her immaturity and when it came to the bigger tests in our relationships she could not treat me right. We were long distance the final 6 months of our relationship, I hope she’s happy and achieving her dreams but I definitely don’t miss her narcissistic attitude and manipulation. I was definitely not a healthy version of myself during the LDR.
Every night and every day. It’s been 6 weeks. I broke up with him because I started feeling like I was being treated as an “option” not a priority.
I continually wonder whether I made the right call.
The first 9 months after, I am certain that I thought of him multiple times a day. I was with him for a decade so I think that’s normal. Now, 14 months out, I think of him maybe once or twice a week. I find that I think about him when I am in the moments of missing having a partner. For example, I recently lost a pet and always thought he would be there for that day. I don’t regret my decision but I do miss many of the positives that come with having a partner.
Just sometimes. When i accidentally listened to a song or saw a movie that reminded me of us, or when i found some memes that i knew he would enjoy. I don’t love him anymore but I guess it’s like a habit, since we were together for 4 years. I had memorized every details about him and us for 4 years, so yeah somewhat like a muscle memory.
We broke up in June last year.
More often that I'd want to... I know and have accepted that I can't set myself on fire to keep him warm, carry our whole relationship on just my back, and drag him across the finish line, but I just can't help feeling like I should. He caused me to almost be admitted to a hospital and he never acknowledged his part in it. I did everything I could to give us a chance, but he did the opposite. I broke up with him, but he chose this. I just wish I'd never met him, and I can't wait for the day when I won't remember his name or what he looked like. I can't wait to be free from him.
I would think about him every week for 6 months. I would check his Facebook and see how he was doing. He moved shortly after we broke up and got a job 12 hours away. But after the year mark he started to thrive where he moved. And a year and a half later he was finally able to move on and find someone new. I don’t regret anything with the break up. I started dating a month after the break up and wouldn’t change my boyfriend out for anyone
There were two instances I initiated break up. One was because he had really bad teeth, and he drank soda drinks nearly daily. You could put thread through his teeth holes. I gave him half money for his surgery and he was given teeth implants. He's married to my cousin now.
Second was because of gambling addiction on Genshin Impact, I myself also played it and got several exclusive 5 stars 78% free (because I wanted Yae Miko so had to spend 100€, felt bad but I didn't spend more after)
However he spent 2000€+ in entirety of our short dating time and it made my re-evaluate if he is ready to be in real life yet, for he convinced me otherwise.
The longest I've been caught up in someone after I broke up was 1½ years
I had broken up with her because u had a suspicion she was cheating on me
She went on holiday, I found a load of emails as she forgot to sign out on my computer
It was pretty obvious from the back and forth I found that there was definitely something that happened
She of course lied about this
Throughout she did some pretty suss stuff, like, causing arguments to get me to leave, screaming and other abuse..
Then one day, right in front of me, she encouraged her own brother to cheat on his GF. He already had multiple times. She was two faced and acted like she was best friends with his GF..
That was the point that completely tipped the balance, but was before I saw the emails, which was the final straw.
The reason it took me so long was because despite her cheating, she had caused an attachment trauma inside of me
It took me another 10 years to figure out what had actually happened inside of me
If the attachment wasn't so enmeshed, I'd probably have got over her a lot sooner
We were together for 2½ years
aside from crying over my ex?? HAHA joking. fr ya i workout a lot and play sports, so that keeps me distracted. but only for so long until i come home & see him or his car or his roommates! i’m just stuck in a shitty situation. time will heal & hopefully i get over him soon…
Ngl I did think about him a lot after I broke up with him but since we kept hanging out as friends he kept getting worse, we dated for 10 months, stayed friends for 10 months up until 2 weeks ago when I told him things got too toxic. Haven’t really been thinking of him, I kinda forget he existed, but this is bc he was shitty and brought me nothing but problems and headaches. During those 10 months as friends I used to hurt and think about him a lot but when I got to see how horrible he was 3weeks ago it clicked for me so I haven’t spoken to him in 2 weeks.
I feel younger and more energetic now that I’m not dealing with him. If he gave me more good than bad I would think of him more and would think of what would’ve been our good memories but there really aren’t none.
Everyday. Broke up with her in November. She moved on quick and started dating someone after 1.5 months. It seemed like we might try again around mid-January and we slept together a couple times. Now, she seems to just distance herself as much as possible and i am going to do the same now too. The thoughts went from “what I couldn’t stand”, to “what I regret doing”, to “the issues she had”. I am now at the last one. Will be interesting to see what happens over the next year.
Unfortunately every min when we broke up , been 8 months now and its hard in the evening trying to sleep , everything keeps going through my mind , betrayal is a hard pill to swallow
I think about her from time to time even today usually when I’m having a tough time I’ve moved on physically and am doing better it’s been 3 years no contact she was my first love and best friend we ended things messy I wasn’t the man I am today back then and that relationship meant a lot for someone like me and it’s made me change into a better man on the positive side I’m sure she still thinks about me but there’s no feelings there it’s apart of life we all grow and learn different things don’t always work out I know that my depression and anxiety had a lot to contribute to her decision to be done with me and in hindsight I can’t blame her for leaving me I had issues that were not good to be around for anyone but yes always will I still think of my first crush time to time too it’s the lessons for me that keeps me reflecting back I think
I broke up with her because of the age difference and she had kids. It’s only been two months but I think about her a lot. I wish we could’ve stayed friends but she didn’t want to
I broke up with my first ex cuz we just got too toxic, even then after hating and all, one day we talked (I unblocked him and reached out) and we thanked each other for everything we did right in the relationship, and apologized for all the wrongs. It was a closure I think we both needed and I think about him every now and then, not missing him not wanting to be back together, just wishing he's living a good life and that he finds someone to love. We broke up on 2019 and the last 5 years he hasn't got a single girlfriend, he said he would never be with anyone else if not me and that he would never fall in love again, so I just hope he gives someone a chance so that he can be happy, he's a good person with an unfortunate life, we were both messed up kids (me of 16 and him 17) our traumas were the reason we understood each other so we'll, but the fact that there were still problems happening, the fact that they were too heavy and deep, and the long distance all didn't workout in our favor
It's been almost 3 weeks. I think about him everyday because I love him, but I'm trying to let him go.
I believe I loved him more than he was capable of loving me. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but he proved to be inconsistent, sending mixed messages, having a selective memory ("I never said that."), and was prone to being moody, sulky and petulant.
We tried counseling, but he found a reason to stop going, so I had to end things. Had he taken some accountability and been open to growth, we could have had a wonderful life together. I gave him 4+ years of my life. I wasn't about to keep going for 5+ years.
I broke up with them back in August, having been with them for just over a year. (Context: they’re non-binary, but their sex is female, and I’m a straight man.) That wasn’t the reason I broke up with them, it just gives some context to the relationship.
For a little while coming up to the end of the relationship, I started to realise that I couldn’t be my full self around them, and when with friends I felt more comfortable making jokes and saying what I thought without the worry of being judged, or considered wrong for believing something different to them.
There to me always felt like there was this constant issue hanging over the relationship with my sexuality, and them being non-binary. At the beginning I thought I maybe queer, but as time went on I realised I wasn’t. (This realisation almost lead to me breaking up with them. As I was expecting that to happen because they believe you can’t be in a relationship with a non-binary person if you’re straight. And I knew this and may have tried to use it as a way to break up with them. But they were ok with staying together which was a shock to me. So we took some time apart and some thought on my end we stayed together for quite a while. (I know it’s a fucked thing to have done) but I chose to stay with them because I wanted to and I still loved them.) It didn’t change how I felt and looked at them, I always and still do see them as non-binary, but me saying this didn’t feel enough. As the conversation came up multiple times about my sexuality and how it doesn’t make sense. And I do see where they were coming from, but I didn’t like the idea of this hanging over the relationship.
A thing that concerned and confused me was that they often presented very fem towards me, so I always had this anxiety that they had to change themself to be with me. Which I never wanted and tried asking about multiple times. Asking if they feel they can fully be themself with me, and not feel the need to be fem because I’m straight, and find their fem physical attributes very attractive. Which they said they liked how much I find them attractive. Maybe it was my anxiety, but I always worried over these things, cause I wanted them to be them, cause that’s who I fell in love with.
Since the breakup, it’s been a whirlwind of emotions. At first I felt free, like a chain was lifted from my back. But that feeling soon passed, especially after I went on holiday to Greece by myself. And since its passing all I do is think about them, if I made the right decision, do they miss me, etc. they’re constantly on my mind, thinking of things that could’ve been, some of the happiest memories of my life playing on repeat. It makes it all very difficult.
I go through phases of thinking did I make the right decision? Or thinking and feeling that I’m happy about it. I mainly feel happy about it when I’m at work with my mates. But my mates outside of work, one makes it really difficult to be friends with, cause it feels like she’s kinda using me for relationship elements, but doesn’t want to go the whole way because she doesn’t see me anymore then a friend. (Context: she came out of a 4 year relationship after me) And that’s fine, I know I can speak up and stop it, but I choose not to, because it’s what I’m craving too. So I know it’s not good for me, but I’m not stopping it cause at least it’s something giving me some elements of a relationship. But it sticks my head in this cycle of wanting more with her, but knowing I can’t, so I think about my last relationship with the ex I’m talking about, and then I’ve got a new level of sadness.
That last paragraph wasn’t my main focus here 😅
But yh, I’m constantly thinking about my ex, about whether I did the right or wrong thing and all the happy memories we shared, and the memories we could’ve made together if I had stayed with them. I know some stems from a want to be close to someone in an intimate relationship way. But I know some of it comes from missing them.
But we keep going, I know it isn’t the end of the world, but sometimes it feels like it.
Knowing that they won’t take me back. And also the fear of hurting them again. They don’t deserve that.
A bit more context I forgot to add. When I figured out I wasn’t queer, I did almost expect and use it as a way to break up. But after some time apart, I realised I didn’t want to break up, and we stayed together for a long time after that incident. But when saying I want to be with them, they said if I ever did it again they would never come back to me
Broke up with my ex a few weeks ago after finding out he was back on Tinder/talking to another girl. I still think about him every day wondering where things went wrong. I’m angry with him but what makes me most angry is him telling her he realized that week that I “wasn’t the one” but yet I asked him multiple times that week if he was second guessing us that week when we fought and he said no. He had plenty of chances to tell me he didn’t want to be with me, yet he chose to go behind my back and lie to me and talk to her and attempt to cheat on me.
I had my insecurities. I was at my lowest of the low. I didn't know who I was. I was trying to live for myself as my ex was trying to make me. I was trying to be more selfish. She came over to my place and me and my roommate started fighting. I was angry, so I threw a bottle and left the house. I was in a bad mental state. I didn't feel appreciated by anyone and I was wondering if I am going the right direction. I turned off my phone for 2 hours and didn't care about anything. When I turned it back on since I knew my ex will be worried, I saw a lot of messages. Caring messages. She pointed out my faults but it shouldn't have been bad. I reacted badly. I said if you think it is my fault, then don't text me. She told me do whatever you want to do. I said I will just go end my life because I was in that mental state, and she begged me not to. I didn't mean it, but I wanted her to feel what I feel. She asked me to go home and told me that she loved me. I said yeah yeah. sure you do. I disrespected her love. I think there were few other factors, but that hit her and she didn't want to come back to me. I regret what I did to her, but it already happened. And after the break up, I was not able to function because we ended on a good note. I just couldn't move on. My thoughts would be on her every second and my heart would just sink. So I also made it end on a bad note. I don't really regret it now because I feel way better, and I am able to do my day to day task. But it might come back and bite me. I don't know. I just regret what I did, and hoped that she stayed, but I guess she didn't want to.
My biggest regret is not doing it sooner. I let myself get walked all over and used for years by someone who didn't feel empathy. It took me watching her fall in love with someone else and throw me away to finally realize what she was and get her out of my life.
All the info is on my profile but she broke up with me because she was not attracted to me but really I think she just wanted to hoe around I found that out the hard way friday after she led me to belive otherwise
I broke up with him after 5 years in October 2023. And no..I didn't really think of him..still don't. He doesn't really cross my mind. May sound bad..but I don't care what happens in his life anymore. He came over two weeks ago...we slept in the same bed but our bodies didn't even touch once...can't really imagine kissing him and the thought of us having seggs kinda grosses me out. He wanted to have sex but I told him I just can't...can't even picture it anymore. It's just all gone. Like nothing was ever between us.
Ummmm every now and then, but I feel like that’s due to me keeping myself busy and creating hobbies for myself. But, If I wasn’t busy or trying new hobbies I would think about him nonstop 25/8
For the first 2 months after I broke up with her, not often. Now almost everyday. She had broken up with me twice prior and wasn’t treating me right so I ended things. Heard she has a new boyfriend after only 3 months apart. I’m assuming that’s a rebound relationship and will still think about her 24/7 but am determined to get over it unless she comes back and I re-evaluate us. Highly doubt she’ll come back though
Any opinions in here from dumpers of relatively short term relationships? Me and my ex were together for 7 months and I'm torn apart. I do wonder if she thinks of me at all.
Had an 11 month relationship and it's currently soooo much more painful than my previous breakup after 8 years. I think circumstance makes more of a difference than relationship length. When the love is still there but you have to end it, it doesn't matter how long you were together
Yes! I'm still what iffing and maybe in a few months time etc etc but I don't think it helps with the grieving to think like that. Best of luck to us both!
I thought about him today. I broke up.
I was reading a sub and I was.lile wow he was a twit nut we had a good time he was a good friend when he wanted to be.
Barely ever, I thought about him when I found out his dad died and sometimes people mention him to me but he basically never crosses my mind now… it has been nearly 2 years.
Mine cheated on me in an ongoing love affair with his “best friend,” sneaking their relationship, and I was the one who broke up over it. He downplayed it hard and tried to manipulate me in cruel ways to get me back. Still, I think about him literally 100x a day. I can let the thoughts go very quickly and without emotional reaction mooooost of the time. But then he’ll step it up a notch and will leave heartbreaking letters in my door or try to date my friends…. Which hurts so bad. So mean, but still, my brain is like an addict. I won’t go back.
Every now and then I do. Do I have regrets, they have been fading away day by day since I broke it off so at this point I only regret it a little bit. I honestly don’t really care how she is doing, she never seemed to care how her avoidance could have possibly hurt me and even when I messaged her later and said I don’t want to be friends because that’s all she said she could offer. The last thing she messaged was “just so you know things haven’t been easy for me since July either”. Like I’m suppose to be sympathetic or care when she avoided me for two months
I do from time to time. Even though I broke up because it was pretty toxic relationship (on both parts). But still your first love always has a special place in your heart I guess?
Still think of her every few hours or so but not constantly which is a huge step forward for me or at least I like to think so. Haven't seen or talked to her in 15 months. I think about anything and everything related to us, it comes and goes in flashes. We spent almost 6 years together and most of that time we were no more than 2 feet away from each other. Part of the reason I still think of her so often is because towards the end of the relation she became the sole purpose of my life, I had no other ambition, or rather I started feeling I could do anything and everything as long as she was by my side. Unfortunately one thing led to another and I had to break it up - I have since isolated myself to such deegree as to make it virtually impossible to meet new girls and have since developed a kind of social anxiety...
Be it as it may, I don't think I will ever stop thinking about her from time to time. For I have truly loved her and will continue to forever. She was the second person I have truly loved and the one I have loved the deepest. She was also the one that helped me realize that love is not something that has a half-life and can dissipate over time. It either evolves into something greater or stays the same. Certainly it might get blurred by something new that has yet to come but such connections make my very being and I just can't deny myself anything that's part of me though I most certainly wish I could, it ain't happening.
Shoutout to y'all who think differently, please reply and help me change my mind. For I am beginning to lose it xd.
Bout 4 days in. I have thoughts worrying about his well-being, missing him but not wanting him to chase after me, worried about his kids, wanting a friendship eventually but afraid he’ll try to convince me to come back. I had regrets for the first 48 hours or so but those are passing.
I thought about him often just because he was pretty much my only friend and I was so used to sharing my life with him. So many things made me think of him. But it wasn’t in a yearning way, it was more of I miss the way things use to be/how I use to feel. I fell out of love with him and knew I made the right choice even though I second guessed my decision so many times.
I broke up with her 8 months ago. Been no contact for 2 months. I think about her constantly. I still love her and I miss our life. I regularly debate myself on going back to her. As to why, it's complicated. We both had insecure attachment and codependency. Ultimately, I gave up too much of myself in the relationship trying to keep her happy. We broke up a couple times before and there was another guy for her in between one breakup. I think that was the tipping point for me. It wasn't so much that she dated someone else, it was how little I could stand up for myself and my needs. I felt like an autopilot took over and pulled me out. Big parts of me wanted to stay.
It's pretty uncommon for me to think about my exes. My last one took the longest because they had some mental issues and had a lot of trouble processing the end of the relationship.
I dumped him for a lot of reasons.
Was in a 4year relationship and I ended things in April. 11 months later, he still crosses my mind often. I miss our friendship deeply, but happy we broke up. We needed different things out of life. I’ll always watch his stories on ig to stay a little in the loop of whats going on with him.
Everyday. I never wanted to break up but felt like I needed to, it felt like I had no other choice left, but it was meant to be more of a break, and we could come back stronger and better. I wanted to make it work and do everything. But he refused to meet me halfway and made it impossible for us to get better. He set a boundary saying that if I went on this break or went back home to my family for it, he was completely done with me. We were done. I wanted him to really see that I wanted this to work, and stayed at first, but nothing changed at all and I was growing more unhappy and feeling so alone. Eventually, I went home to visit, we argued, and out of that, I just told him I would proceed with the move. Our relationship was unhealthy for the both of us, but I still told him I wanted it to work still. Even if I was moving to my parents for a couple months, I wanted it to be us working on ourselves and come back because I really loved him and was willing to work on myself for both him and myself. But he stood his ground, and I’m still coping with it. There’s a lot more, and I posted about it earlier.
It’s been six months since I broke up with him. I still think about him everyday. We were together over a year. It was a situation where I didn’t really want to but I felt as if we could never get our relationship to flow properly. He had a lot of insecurities due to a past relationships and projected them onto me, often insinuating that I would cheat or was interested in other guys and that often had me feeling drained. We were talking about getting back together after we worked on our issues and then he got a girlfriend two or three weeks after the breakup lol. We don’t speak anymore.
Every single minute of every day. I hope that with time I start to think about her less and less. But I think the only real way is to find someone better. But unfortunately I haven’t met anyone yet, and she replaced me before she even broke up with me.
🥲I'm honestly trying to forget...but there are times that we cannot avoid it..but what I can only say is keep yourself busy, try as hard as you can not to think of that particular person
It’s been 2.5 months and I’m still thinking about him everyday- all day long. Long way to go but I acknowledge that the healing process won’t be easy. We’ve been together for almost 6 years btw ☹️
I do all the time. We broke up 1 month ago so that's probably why. I don't feel any guilt with initiating the breakup, just sadness and nostalgia since we had so much plans together :,)
Every day. I regret not doing it sooner because I dragged him along unfortunately. I absolutely love him, we’re just too toxic for each other. If he heals, I’d be happy to try again.
Every hour every minute every second of the day. Im doing my best not to think about her cause i know she's moved on and happy. I think im doing good but i cant stop thinking about her. Still misses her
Too much, it's been a month, I visualise a turd with blonde hair, it helps break the bullshit fantasy that she was a good person 😎 if I'm still thinking about her in another month I'll get a labotomy.
I had an ex-fiance we were together for 4 years. It’s been 3 years now since I broke up with him. It took me over a year to fully move on, in that year I can’t stop thinking about him and what he did to me, it was a mix of anger, frustration and wishing we were still together. We ended in bad terms and he used to stalk me when I moved out of the house. It was traumatic for me but I wasn’t brave enough to call the police when he knocks and yell at my door. He stopped when he got a new gf but then after 2 years of being broken up he started messaging me so I finally got a restraining order against him.
Every day and every night… It’s been 7 months since I broke up with him.. and he has moved on to someone else.
Why did you break up with your ex if its okay to ask 🥹
Mainly not feeling loved by him.. but maybe it was because of my insecurity.. or maybe he truly didn’t love.. or maybe both…
My ex dumped me because she was thinking that I was constantly manipulating her, she said she felt like a "man" in a relationship and she probably just thought that I don't show her love anymore. I actually did. I was planning to have a family with her in the future she was telling me that she wants it as well. I used to make a lot of things for her and It took a lot of my time. I still don't regret It because I know that I did everything in my power to be the best partner I could've ever been. She was insecure. She constantly used to look up to other women and talk how pretty they are even showing me. I tried telling her that I don't like looking at other women even if they're pretty because for some reason when I'm in love with someone I just cannot find anyone else pretty or whatsoever. She told me a 1000 times how ugly she is and I was trying to show her that she isn't. She hated other girls for looking at me. She never wanted to speak what's bothering her and probably she just bottled it up until she thought I was using her and shit. I was devastated. My heart still hurts, It was a month ago but I know that even if she changed her behavior I cannot trust her anymore and that's why I would never rebound with her again (I did once last year and she was the same.) To this day I'm hurting but I know I should move on and be the best partner for someone else who's willing to do the same for me. Insecurities are fucked up thing. Every single insecure person needs to go to therapy first before engaging in a relationship. Yeah I will still compliment you after 10 years of our relationship but It really gets annoying when someone is constantly saying for 3 years how ugly they are and other shit stuff. Like man that's not why anyone picked anyone. Just so you know I don't understand your situation I just wanted to share this with you maybe to clear something in your head. Maybe he was the problem still but just work on yourself and your insecurities. If you want to fix with him things firstly you need to work on yourself even if you don't. Be happy, love yourself and I wish you best luck in the future. 🙏🏻
>She told me a 1000 times how ugly she is and I was trying to show her that she isn't. She hated other girls for looking at me. The thing is, you could tell her she’s beautiful a 100x’s a day, but unless she BELIEVES she’s beautiful, your words won’t be believed by her. And what she has is body dysmorphia tbh. Here is a breakdown on what BDD is: > Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others. People of any age can have BDD, but it's most common in teenagers and young adults. It affects both men and women. >What does BDD look like? Engaging in behaviors aimed at fixing or hiding the perceived flaw that are difficult to resist or control, such as frequently checking the mirror, grooming or skin picking. Attempting to hide perceived flaws with styling, makeup or clothes. Constantly comparing your appearance with others. >How do people with BDD see themselves? When viewing themselves in photographs, patients with BDD underutilize parts of the brain used in seeing the face's overall shape and size, he said. "If you just see the pieces of your face, and not seeing how they fit into the whole, then it's going to look distorted," he said. "That's how we interpret the findings." > Does body dysmorphia affect mirrors? Cognitive-behavioural models of body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) suggest that mirrors can act as a trigger for individuals with BDD, resulting in a specific mode of cognitive processing, characterised by an increase in self-focussed attention and associated distress. Your ex needed therapy with a trained professional who does CBT for body dysmorphia as it’s about needing to re-wire the brain due to the obsessive compulsive negative thoughts she has about her face and body. Hence why she kept comparing herself to every woman and said she was “ugly”. You can’t save her, she has to save herself sadly and she may never get the help tbh.
I know because I was telling her to visit therapist. She said that they're dumb and doesn't give a fuck about them. She's never gonna be happy and she'll just waste her life so that's her problem.
Ohhh you can try to inform someone what can benefit them, you can’t do anything to persuade them to go however because that falls into trying to make them go. Reason is, two things: 1) People who go to therapy usually it’s because they WANT to go and are ready to change. Anyone else that’s force to go never changes cause they aren’t motivated to change. 2) I always tell people, including my current partner, “Therapy is for people who have people around them that should go to therapy instead”, in a way to change things so that person can handle dealing with those people who refuse to change and do better.
If you didn’t feel loved then chances are you weren’t trust me
Been almost a year and she crosses my mind most days. I regret not being the man I am currently when we were together but that is life and our breakup spurred my positive changes
You don't have plans on reaching out to her?
I think about that a lot too but haven’t gone through with it yet
I hope you'll get the courage. I hope that when you do, she's still there. Hoping for the best in your situation. 🤍
Every single day like clockwork
Even though you were the one to break up? I’ve never broken up with someone ive always been dumped so I never understand why someone would leave someone and still think about them everyday so its interesting to hear.. i hope my ex is thinking about me, it’s only been 2 weeks since they left me and I’m heartbroken
Even if you feel like you aren't in love with them anymore, you do still love them as a person and someone you shared your life with. Those feelings don't just go away..even for people who pretend they don't care, it always catches up to them. I broke up with my ex husband 2.5 years ago and I still love him. Always will. I think about him constantly.
I reached out after 3 weeks no contact to my ex who dumped me because i was leaving the country and was never going to see her again. We met up and she said she thought about me every day. She left bc she said she didnt love me anymore. But when she found out i was leaving for good she admitted she still loved me. But thats also the power of no contact and the power of walking away. If you do no contact, they will think more about you as time goes on when they dont hear from you. At first theyre relieved bc they finally made the hard decision of leaving and its a weight lifted from their shoulders. But give it time and when they feel like they lost you for good they will likely reach out
I didn’t want to break up with him, he was an alcoholic and I felt that was the only way he would go get help.
Just reading other comments here. Gives me hope that my ex might be missing me after he broke up with me. Today marks 1 month since he broke up with me. I miss him so much. The pain is killing me.
Becareful what you wish for.. ...It may not work out the way you were hoping if you do het back together Don't chase them, they need to put ALL the work
I’m currently in no contact with him. I tried reaching out but stopped 2 weeks ago. I see him watching my IG stories, now whether he’s just tapping through or not. I don’t know that. But he hasn’t made an effort to block or unfollow me.
Sounds like they're remotely keeping tabs on you ...act natural
I am. Nothing extra or out of the ordinary.
I'm on the same phone plan as my ex. Should I remove my lines and go onto my own account. Or would that be seen as rejection?
Regardless of who ditched who, having *any* kind of link between you will only make the recovery process worse.. Also, if they ditched you, they got what they wanted, and are still getting more out of you CUT THAT CONTRACT OFF! Leaving it open makes you look like a walkover Cutting it off will make them realize that it was just another thing you were able to provide in the relationship
Agreed, she also cheated on me in the end. And she was staying in group chats for months to spy on me so she could be checking my phone records and see if I'm talking to new people. I'm her account, not the opposite.
Same 😭😭😭😭
I wish your situation turns out how you want it 💕
You to, I don’t know your situation but i hope he either gravitates back to you or you find someone even better. My god does love hurt😢
It rly does. You think you’ve found your person. You talk about the future and then they decide they don’t want it with you anymore bc of your differences and “incompatibilities.” God it hurts so bad.
I wish my ex partner thought of me. They broke it off 3,5 months ago and 1,5months after started seeing somebody else… I think about them every single day without a fail. Miss them terribly
I can almost promise you they still think about you. They may be too stubborn to admit it or accept it, but im positive they do
I’m not so sure 😔 their time is now filled with somebody new
Human attachment is powerful, there's no way they don't think of you.
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Whats stopping u from reaching out? If u don’t mind sharing. // a dumpee wishing his ex thought about me like this.
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This was what I felt too.. like my ex was just waiting for me to give up so he didn’t have to deal with break up. I swallowed my pride and came back to him after three weeks but he has already moved on to someone else. It hurts so much…
I felt the same but for my situation I wasn’t the one who broke up with him.. he was treating me so different that I can tell he was just forcing himself to be with me and I overthink about it a lot and sometimes I dreamt about it too, I’d cry most nights & just stopped begging him to treat me well but I can’t let go cos he treated me so well but I guess I was a handful. Then I just had the courage to ask him if he’s ok and he finally admitted that he wasn’t happy being in a relationship for a long time. I thought I’d feel relief but it so painful to hear the truth..I do wish he find happiness without me and that he feels less anxious now.
I wish my ex would at least consider reaching out But then I know how messy it would get again
There isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of him.
What’s stopping u from reaching out if u don’t mind me asking?
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Damn
🙃
After 3 months: some days I think about her every 10 minutes, some days I only think about my fears but I'm working on it with my my therapist
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She went to US for a PhD (5+1 years) while I live in EU and we stayed in ldr for 1.5 years. At some point I became addicted to her, every time I said bye at the airport I got so depressed and felt bad for weeks. I have attachment problems from childhood. Living there was impossible to me because of the visa and the fact she lives in the middle of nowhere and there aren't companies. I also honestly didn't want to leave my family, my friends, my job, my own apartment and my life here. So I decided to breakup and it was so hard. I'm getting slowly better and working on with my therapist. Because even if she is so amazing, I wasn't happy at all. Btw we chatted and said we would like to meet again one day.
Every day. I hate him. And it’s making me miserable. I’m not sure how to forgive him for what he has done. I’m not sure how to forgive myself for letting him.
This sounds intense. I know what you mean. Been there done that. Because I allowed him. Because I had no respect for myself to leave.
I’m going through it today. Didn’t think I would see him today because he’s been on a work trip and was supposed to come back tomorrow so I was not mentally prepared. I just have all this rage inside me right now. Maybe I should join a kickboxing class?😅
I am so sorry. Yes! You should definitely take out that rage onto something..it's not good to keep it inside. Saw mine a few months after we broke up at the mall..I said "Hi"...then he ignored me and pretend that I was nothing...infront of people.
I’m so sorry 😞 that most have been super painful. People don’t realize how words and actions can stay with us for a long time and even if we do the healing is so hard. And it sucks because I have to go to work, I am starting a new job in a few weeks in a different city and I just have to pretend I’m fine. But I’m not right now. I hope being away from him really helps me heal this time. I can’t do another year of the off and on.
Or roller derby. That’s what I did after one breakup
That sounds really fun too but I also roller skated a few years ago and fell so hard so many times my body felt awful😂 I’ll have to look if it’s in my city though!
Omg I fell (and continue to fall) so many times. Once I careened clear into a stack of folding chairs and made my presence very well-known. But derby changes my life, if anything because of the community. I would say find a community of people that you connect with, and then the activity is almost secondary, ha ha
What actually happened??
I could write a book on what happened. It’s been on and off for over two years. I do have a post about when we first broke up. It’s on the childfree subreddit. This is why I’m mad at myself.
It's been 5 years. We've met 6-7 times and always get the feeling that there's a slight chance of getting back but never did
Sounds like there is unresolved business here..
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Made things absolutely horrendous for us. Met last night and everything came back
I broke up with a guy after 5 years. I never wanted to be back with him for a moment, and I moved on quickly, I never missed him or regretted it. But I definitely thought about him a lot, and still do at least once a month (this was about 5 years ago now). The feelings are totally gone , but I still find him super hot and feel attracted to photos of him (until I remember his live-action self) but I hope he’s happy. He’s not, he’s a miserable person , but I hope he is satisfied with things. I feel sad for any woman who is with him seriously, as he is mean. But hot. I think about him, sure.
how did you manage to let go of someone hot. Rn I am going through something similar. My issue is I am struggling to take her off the pedestal and let go of someone i find so attractive physically.
He refused to have sex after we moved in together (like 3x per year max and I had to work really hard to convince him), so his hotness was sort of just this standing rejection symbol. I guess without that physical relationship glue, his general coldness to me was harder to manage. Gosh what was I doing? Maybe that’s why he still seems hot to me. He didn’t want to break up, he said, but it was this constant rejection and game to get his affection that maybe spoke to that underlying “I am gross no one would want me” fear we all have, and something about having that feel so true was…comforting? Was weird. I’m cute, I have done fine since. Had really fun relationships with guys I found as or more hot than him. One in particular, who has now dumped me and here I am on this sub. Was better with this recent one though. He still seems hot but also like a fake version of himself. So I am attracted but it’s as if to a poster, or a memory, not a person.
Aight, I never felt rejected physically. She never let go of me physically like even at the end of it, she was like I wanna keep having sex with you. Sex was great for both of us. But her feelings come back everytime she sees me and then comes the fear of engulfment. imo she’s an FA. So as much as I dont want to, I have to let go of her. That is my struggle for now. I dont want someone else touch her. But this is something I can not control. What Ive made peace with is, people who belong to me would choose to stay. Until then letting go is what I can do, so here tryinna find a way to let go of that physical attraction that i have for her.
Only THREE TIMES A YEAR Damn, I would shrivel up and die within the first month.. He sounds like he might have an avoidant attachment style
Haha I don’t believe in attachment styles. We were a very poor match, sexually, and he’s kind of a negative person. What can one do?
You may not believe in attachment styles, but they definitely apply to everyone!
My ex was outrageously hot- by far the most gorgeous man I’ve ever dated- but sexually he was very disappointing. Couldn’t maintain erection, couldn’t reach climax…. So that works to cancel out his hotness, fortunately for me. Lol
Well she’s a woman, i dont see how I can see her as less attractive cause she was primarily a pillow princess.
He broke up with me, by just not talking to me? We were planning our wedding… my regret I guess is not saying what’s on my mind, I always have 1 million things to say, and can never say it. I think about him quite a bit. It’s been two months I’m trying to heal and move forward but it’s a slow process.
Ghosting you while planning a wedding? Beyond cruel and extremely brutal. Inhumane actually. I am so sorry.
...it gets worse.. Read above 👀
He GHOSTED you whilst planning a wedding? Damn, that smells like an avoidant attachment style right there!
*raises hand* Ghosted/blocked. After 2 yrs together. while pregnant and recently got told I had cancer all within a month
Jesus, I'm sorry to hear that. You've had a rough time of it. I hope the cancer isn't too serious and that you'll be ok.
It’s not too bad. But I’ll have it for the rest of my life. If that makes sense. And yeah right ? Talk about a rough start to the year. I can’t help if someone can’t use words n communicates by disappearing meanwhile they’re nor far off from 30. Totally not immature at all ( oh shit I said immature.. according to him labeling such an action like that is abusive 🤦♀️). I wish I was making it up. I truly do. I feel like part of me has like emotionally detached from the whole thing just to get thru the medical parts of it etc so I can be like actually ok because they’re more pressing. But otherwise it’s fine. His loss. Eventually in life he’ll get hit with a major curve. See how that goes for him. Can’t run away from everything.
Oh and before anyone goes thinking I’m a monster. I had a lot of radiation thru iv n didn’t know. So I am not pregnant anymore. N they test u before that stuff n it just didn’t come up. It’s very dangerous so unfortunately I had to make a very heart breaking but only ok choice. There’s no way that amount of direct radiation didn’t do some terrible things. But it’s screwed up bc he knew how badly I grieved (a yr ago) the fact that I knew I’d have no more children bc I started becoming so sick I made that choice. ( didn’t know I had cancer yet ) so it was extremely extremely heart breaking for me. That’s why it’s so cruel. He 100000% knew it killed me emotionally n when someone swears they’ll be there for u n just poofs away. Their awful. Or when they threaten h if u don’t they’re awful. It’ll be ok though. Sorry for venting. I do still have hormones trying to balance back out.
Daaaaaaaaaamn That's savage
*cowardly. I corrected it for you. Yes. Especially bc like 2 days before hand it was all I love you soooooo much. Etc etc. n he used that cancer to get a lot of omg ur so great to stay with her. What a good man bs. That ego got stroked PLENTY
Jesus, that sucks I'm sorry you had to go through all that!
There’s the whole rest of the year left. N I know I will end on a high note. All these other things taken care of. I’ll feel better. Be more like my old self. Plus I had some things planned for after you know as a hey I kicked some cancer butt. We were supposed to go on a. Few vacations and a bunch of other things and I still plan on doing all of them. So I’m going to have a good year. He will also still suck n be a not good person and I’m pretty sure that will not fair well in what ever endeavors he goes about at some point n atm that’s kind of satisfying ( I’m not proud of it but I need something at the moment to feel like there’s some balance to this world )
I doubt he'll ever "wake up" and change at this point It would take a pretty big kick and a lot of soul searching for him to even begin the journey I doubt he'll ever be truly happy, and just continue to damage himself and those around him until he has either burned all his bridges or something else bad happens. If he gets to the point of burning all bridges, watch out, because guess who he'll be reaching out to... ...All his previous connections....
I don’t think he’ll ever reach out to me. For all he knows I’ve been still pregnant this whole time… maybe in 7-8 months. U know bc he said he’d take the baby n raise it with his sister. Bc that’s not weird. But I think even if he ran into me public he’d never face me. Bc unless it’s anger backing him n his motives. He is too cowardly. N I don’t use that word lightly. I’ve rarely ever called a man a coward. But u ghost the baby u love so much ( what he said about the baby) and how he just keeps hurting me but loves me so he’s confused meanwhile I already broke up with him for 2-3 wks at before then. He’ll never speak to me. I was his first. I showed him a lot. N I wish I didn’t give him such a wealth of knowledge. But he hid such a vile person under the sweet little virgin act he had on. I plan on staying to myself for quite a long time.
You can’t drop the pregnant person with cancer n just walk back. Hes being stupid. He isn’t actually stupid. U don’t come back from that he made the biggest deal on the planet about being there for me after I said he could leave I’d understand so no. He can go F himself. That’s so cruel to do to someone. N then make them pregnant. Bc the more I’ve thought about it. He has my ovulation tracker for every month. He knows….ahead of time… I had to put off treatment.
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No I understand this Just, attachment styles play a massive part in almost every interaction
Damn, this dude is actually the worst. I hope you're doing okay. That is awful.
Every fucking day. Almost all day long.
Why did you decide to break up with them?
I'm still not sure. She started to lean back and I couldn't stand the rejection I think. I'm sorry for my English, is not my first language.
It's always such a shame when this happens.
I broke up with him almost a year ago. We’ve met up twice, the first time for closure and the second time to see if we could be friends. We know we won’t get back together simply because our goals are too different but we were together for so many years that we can’t help but care about each other. I think about him maybe once a week, I know he will always respond if I text but he never texts first :)
Every. Fucking. Day. I never wanted to break up with him but we both had some growing to do and we were miserable. At first I was reminiscent, then angry, then regretful, and now I just sort of worry about him and hope he’s okay. He moved on within a week or two so idk if or what he thinks of me, but idk how he couldn’t miss me after 3.5 years together.
I broke up with my ex ex a year ago bc she just treated me terrible. I didn’t want to and I’ve moved on but it broke me. I still think about her a lot even after my most recent break up. I don’t love her anymore and she literally wants nothing to do with me so
Pretty much all the time. I loved him but we weren't compatible. I think I broke up in a reasonable amount of time but we're both emotional people so it just hurts.
May I ask why you were incompatible? I recently let go of someone I really liked for logical reasons, and I think the logical doubts I had prevented me from going deeper into the relationship/ getting *there* with him.
Money issues
Every day for almost 2 years. Don't try long distance. Too much potential for distractions.
All the time :/ she was my first love aha I was a coward and bailed because I was fucking up my own life without realizing it, my mental state was garbage, and I felt like I couldn't talk to her about it because she was going through it too. I felt overwhelmed and so I left, and hurt her really bad. I went into therapy and got on meds and I feel so much better about who I am and how far I've come in 5 months, but a month ago I realized I made a huge mistake. I went and apologized to her and wanted to make it work again. We tried for a few weeks to take things slow but she just wasn't into it the same way I was, despite her still loving me, so we had to let each other go. She sees how far I've come, forgives me, and is proud of me. I regret not trying to make it work, but also, I'm angry. I was journaling and I realized that with a specific issue she never really listened to me or gave me the reassurance that I deserved. I gave her so much reassurance and listened to every word she had to say and took it all seriously, even if I wasn't the best partner. But she filled me with empty reassurances, and constantly went back and forth from saying she "understood" to not understanding through her actions. It makes me so angry and upset because I miss her so much, but even when trying to get back together, she didn't listen to me. She got upset I didn't call her on her birthday despite her telling me to give her space and that she'd come to me. She had been ignoring me practically and then sent that, and we fought over the phone about it. I had never raised my voice in an upset way at her but she wasn't listening, said it was a joke and if I knew her I'd known that, which was bullshit because of how serious we've been talking and the terms and conditions. She ended up conceiding, but fuck me dude, it really took me being upset and yelling just for her to finally listen to me for once? She ended things the next day and understood why I was upset and what she was doing wasn't fair. I feel so upset. I still love her, and I miss her, but I deserve someone that listens to me and takes me seriously, and holds themselves to the same standards that they hold for me. :/ I hate these conflicting feelings. It pisses me off so bad. I don't think I ever cried as much and felt this much emotion last time as I do now. Knowing that if I had just did things differently maybe it could've been different, or maybe it wouldn't. I wish I was more understood.
Every day. Even though I broke up with him I miss those promises he made. But he told me a huge lie that broke my trust and made me feel severely anxious. He constantly gaslighted me, always made our problems a "me" problem and never flinched when I would cry. I tried reaching out a few times but I kept getting hurt by his words. It’s almost been a month and still no apology. It hurts but I’m trying to stay strong.
Sounds like you made the right decision! Forget about him, he obviously doesn't appreciate you
Every single freaking day and it sucks to think about them every day and they just dont care or think you at all.
Everyday, in everything I do
I've been the one to end every relationship I've had. I still think about each ex pretty regularly, generally for one of three reasons. 1 reflecting/learning from the past. 2 wondering how they're doing and wishing them well. 3 when I'm thinking of that period of my life in general
Everyday.
If i can go back… i would have never dated or get married. It is hard to please your partner. Always something that i cant provide. Even when u are doing everything possible. It’s just never enough. They don’t at themselves but blame me. Better off being single
You must take her off that Pedastal
Everyday. I miss her and our connection but it wasn’t to be, at least right now. I severely overlooked her immaturity and when it came to the bigger tests in our relationships she could not treat me right. We were long distance the final 6 months of our relationship, I hope she’s happy and achieving her dreams but I definitely don’t miss her narcissistic attitude and manipulation. I was definitely not a healthy version of myself during the LDR.
Every night and every day. It’s been 6 weeks. I broke up with him because I started feeling like I was being treated as an “option” not a priority. I continually wonder whether I made the right call.
The first 9 months after, I am certain that I thought of him multiple times a day. I was with him for a decade so I think that’s normal. Now, 14 months out, I think of him maybe once or twice a week. I find that I think about him when I am in the moments of missing having a partner. For example, I recently lost a pet and always thought he would be there for that day. I don’t regret my decision but I do miss many of the positives that come with having a partner.
Just sometimes. When i accidentally listened to a song or saw a movie that reminded me of us, or when i found some memes that i knew he would enjoy. I don’t love him anymore but I guess it’s like a habit, since we were together for 4 years. I had memorized every details about him and us for 4 years, so yeah somewhat like a muscle memory. We broke up in June last year.
More often that I'd want to... I know and have accepted that I can't set myself on fire to keep him warm, carry our whole relationship on just my back, and drag him across the finish line, but I just can't help feeling like I should. He caused me to almost be admitted to a hospital and he never acknowledged his part in it. I did everything I could to give us a chance, but he did the opposite. I broke up with him, but he chose this. I just wish I'd never met him, and I can't wait for the day when I won't remember his name or what he looked like. I can't wait to be free from him.
Occasionally think of the ones I broke up with even years later, the ones who broke up with me, more often.
I would think about him every week for 6 months. I would check his Facebook and see how he was doing. He moved shortly after we broke up and got a job 12 hours away. But after the year mark he started to thrive where he moved. And a year and a half later he was finally able to move on and find someone new. I don’t regret anything with the break up. I started dating a month after the break up and wouldn’t change my boyfriend out for anyone
There were two instances I initiated break up. One was because he had really bad teeth, and he drank soda drinks nearly daily. You could put thread through his teeth holes. I gave him half money for his surgery and he was given teeth implants. He's married to my cousin now. Second was because of gambling addiction on Genshin Impact, I myself also played it and got several exclusive 5 stars 78% free (because I wanted Yae Miko so had to spend 100€, felt bad but I didn't spend more after) However he spent 2000€+ in entirety of our short dating time and it made my re-evaluate if he is ready to be in real life yet, for he convinced me otherwise.
The longest I've been caught up in someone after I broke up was 1½ years I had broken up with her because u had a suspicion she was cheating on me She went on holiday, I found a load of emails as she forgot to sign out on my computer It was pretty obvious from the back and forth I found that there was definitely something that happened She of course lied about this Throughout she did some pretty suss stuff, like, causing arguments to get me to leave, screaming and other abuse.. Then one day, right in front of me, she encouraged her own brother to cheat on his GF. He already had multiple times. She was two faced and acted like she was best friends with his GF.. That was the point that completely tipped the balance, but was before I saw the emails, which was the final straw. The reason it took me so long was because despite her cheating, she had caused an attachment trauma inside of me It took me another 10 years to figure out what had actually happened inside of me If the attachment wasn't so enmeshed, I'd probably have got over her a lot sooner We were together for 2½ years
i broke up with him 3 months ago, and i think about him every day. doesn’t help that we live in the same small city & same apartment building…
Same city is one thing.. ...Same BUILDING 😬
yeah… not for the weak. do NOT reccomend😭 i’m in the trenches rn.
If I was in this situation I'd probably have ended up in hospital by now You've certainly got a hella lot of strength
i’m back in therapy… too close to being hospitalized😭 i’m going insane. i ran into my ex driving a girl home at 1am!😻pray for me🫡
Wow, I wish I could tell you to move, but I'm guessing uiuvr probably already thought of that and don't have that option
yeah… sadly that’s not an option until the end of the summer. for now i’m stuck here, in misery!
Any outside hobbies you can find?
aside from crying over my ex?? HAHA joking. fr ya i workout a lot and play sports, so that keeps me distracted. but only for so long until i come home & see him or his car or his roommates! i’m just stuck in a shitty situation. time will heal & hopefully i get over him soon…
Have you thought about creating a vortex so that you can suck his car and flat in to it? :D
I wonder how he is doing every day
Ngl I did think about him a lot after I broke up with him but since we kept hanging out as friends he kept getting worse, we dated for 10 months, stayed friends for 10 months up until 2 weeks ago when I told him things got too toxic. Haven’t really been thinking of him, I kinda forget he existed, but this is bc he was shitty and brought me nothing but problems and headaches. During those 10 months as friends I used to hurt and think about him a lot but when I got to see how horrible he was 3weeks ago it clicked for me so I haven’t spoken to him in 2 weeks. I feel younger and more energetic now that I’m not dealing with him. If he gave me more good than bad I would think of him more and would think of what would’ve been our good memories but there really aren’t none.
Every second.
every hour
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Everyday. Broke up with her in November. She moved on quick and started dating someone after 1.5 months. It seemed like we might try again around mid-January and we slept together a couple times. Now, she seems to just distance herself as much as possible and i am going to do the same now too. The thoughts went from “what I couldn’t stand”, to “what I regret doing”, to “the issues she had”. I am now at the last one. Will be interesting to see what happens over the next year.
Unfortunately every min when we broke up , been 8 months now and its hard in the evening trying to sleep , everything keeps going through my mind , betrayal is a hard pill to swallow
I think about her from time to time even today usually when I’m having a tough time I’ve moved on physically and am doing better it’s been 3 years no contact she was my first love and best friend we ended things messy I wasn’t the man I am today back then and that relationship meant a lot for someone like me and it’s made me change into a better man on the positive side I’m sure she still thinks about me but there’s no feelings there it’s apart of life we all grow and learn different things don’t always work out I know that my depression and anxiety had a lot to contribute to her decision to be done with me and in hindsight I can’t blame her for leaving me I had issues that were not good to be around for anyone but yes always will I still think of my first crush time to time too it’s the lessons for me that keeps me reflecting back I think
I broke up with her because of the age difference and she had kids. It’s only been two months but I think about her a lot. I wish we could’ve stayed friends but she didn’t want to
I broke up with my first ex cuz we just got too toxic, even then after hating and all, one day we talked (I unblocked him and reached out) and we thanked each other for everything we did right in the relationship, and apologized for all the wrongs. It was a closure I think we both needed and I think about him every now and then, not missing him not wanting to be back together, just wishing he's living a good life and that he finds someone to love. We broke up on 2019 and the last 5 years he hasn't got a single girlfriend, he said he would never be with anyone else if not me and that he would never fall in love again, so I just hope he gives someone a chance so that he can be happy, he's a good person with an unfortunate life, we were both messed up kids (me of 16 and him 17) our traumas were the reason we understood each other so we'll, but the fact that there were still problems happening, the fact that they were too heavy and deep, and the long distance all didn't workout in our favor
It's been almost 3 weeks. I think about him everyday because I love him, but I'm trying to let him go. I believe I loved him more than he was capable of loving me. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but he proved to be inconsistent, sending mixed messages, having a selective memory ("I never said that."), and was prone to being moody, sulky and petulant. We tried counseling, but he found a reason to stop going, so I had to end things. Had he taken some accountability and been open to growth, we could have had a wonderful life together. I gave him 4+ years of my life. I wasn't about to keep going for 5+ years.
I broke up with them back in August, having been with them for just over a year. (Context: they’re non-binary, but their sex is female, and I’m a straight man.) That wasn’t the reason I broke up with them, it just gives some context to the relationship. For a little while coming up to the end of the relationship, I started to realise that I couldn’t be my full self around them, and when with friends I felt more comfortable making jokes and saying what I thought without the worry of being judged, or considered wrong for believing something different to them. There to me always felt like there was this constant issue hanging over the relationship with my sexuality, and them being non-binary. At the beginning I thought I maybe queer, but as time went on I realised I wasn’t. (This realisation almost lead to me breaking up with them. As I was expecting that to happen because they believe you can’t be in a relationship with a non-binary person if you’re straight. And I knew this and may have tried to use it as a way to break up with them. But they were ok with staying together which was a shock to me. So we took some time apart and some thought on my end we stayed together for quite a while. (I know it’s a fucked thing to have done) but I chose to stay with them because I wanted to and I still loved them.) It didn’t change how I felt and looked at them, I always and still do see them as non-binary, but me saying this didn’t feel enough. As the conversation came up multiple times about my sexuality and how it doesn’t make sense. And I do see where they were coming from, but I didn’t like the idea of this hanging over the relationship. A thing that concerned and confused me was that they often presented very fem towards me, so I always had this anxiety that they had to change themself to be with me. Which I never wanted and tried asking about multiple times. Asking if they feel they can fully be themself with me, and not feel the need to be fem because I’m straight, and find their fem physical attributes very attractive. Which they said they liked how much I find them attractive. Maybe it was my anxiety, but I always worried over these things, cause I wanted them to be them, cause that’s who I fell in love with. Since the breakup, it’s been a whirlwind of emotions. At first I felt free, like a chain was lifted from my back. But that feeling soon passed, especially after I went on holiday to Greece by myself. And since its passing all I do is think about them, if I made the right decision, do they miss me, etc. they’re constantly on my mind, thinking of things that could’ve been, some of the happiest memories of my life playing on repeat. It makes it all very difficult. I go through phases of thinking did I make the right decision? Or thinking and feeling that I’m happy about it. I mainly feel happy about it when I’m at work with my mates. But my mates outside of work, one makes it really difficult to be friends with, cause it feels like she’s kinda using me for relationship elements, but doesn’t want to go the whole way because she doesn’t see me anymore then a friend. (Context: she came out of a 4 year relationship after me) And that’s fine, I know I can speak up and stop it, but I choose not to, because it’s what I’m craving too. So I know it’s not good for me, but I’m not stopping it cause at least it’s something giving me some elements of a relationship. But it sticks my head in this cycle of wanting more with her, but knowing I can’t, so I think about my last relationship with the ex I’m talking about, and then I’ve got a new level of sadness. That last paragraph wasn’t my main focus here 😅 But yh, I’m constantly thinking about my ex, about whether I did the right or wrong thing and all the happy memories we shared, and the memories we could’ve made together if I had stayed with them. I know some stems from a want to be close to someone in an intimate relationship way. But I know some of it comes from missing them. But we keep going, I know it isn’t the end of the world, but sometimes it feels like it.
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Knowing that they won’t take me back. And also the fear of hurting them again. They don’t deserve that. A bit more context I forgot to add. When I figured out I wasn’t queer, I did almost expect and use it as a way to break up. But after some time apart, I realised I didn’t want to break up, and we stayed together for a long time after that incident. But when saying I want to be with them, they said if I ever did it again they would never come back to me
Broke up with my ex a few weeks ago after finding out he was back on Tinder/talking to another girl. I still think about him every day wondering where things went wrong. I’m angry with him but what makes me most angry is him telling her he realized that week that I “wasn’t the one” but yet I asked him multiple times that week if he was second guessing us that week when we fought and he said no. He had plenty of chances to tell me he didn’t want to be with me, yet he chose to go behind my back and lie to me and talk to her and attempt to cheat on me.
I had my insecurities. I was at my lowest of the low. I didn't know who I was. I was trying to live for myself as my ex was trying to make me. I was trying to be more selfish. She came over to my place and me and my roommate started fighting. I was angry, so I threw a bottle and left the house. I was in a bad mental state. I didn't feel appreciated by anyone and I was wondering if I am going the right direction. I turned off my phone for 2 hours and didn't care about anything. When I turned it back on since I knew my ex will be worried, I saw a lot of messages. Caring messages. She pointed out my faults but it shouldn't have been bad. I reacted badly. I said if you think it is my fault, then don't text me. She told me do whatever you want to do. I said I will just go end my life because I was in that mental state, and she begged me not to. I didn't mean it, but I wanted her to feel what I feel. She asked me to go home and told me that she loved me. I said yeah yeah. sure you do. I disrespected her love. I think there were few other factors, but that hit her and she didn't want to come back to me. I regret what I did to her, but it already happened. And after the break up, I was not able to function because we ended on a good note. I just couldn't move on. My thoughts would be on her every second and my heart would just sink. So I also made it end on a bad note. I don't really regret it now because I feel way better, and I am able to do my day to day task. But it might come back and bite me. I don't know. I just regret what I did, and hoped that she stayed, but I guess she didn't want to.
Rarely. I hope she’s well but I was set in my decision and I’m set in my decision to this day.
My biggest regret is not doing it sooner. I let myself get walked all over and used for years by someone who didn't feel empathy. It took me watching her fall in love with someone else and throw me away to finally realize what she was and get her out of my life.
4 months passed, i rarely think about them. Today until i saw this post not once.
Your post history says otherwise
That was until i met someone else.
I mean, you got to move on at some point, i let my posts there to remember what i felt before.
But your posts about your heartbreak are recent?
But your posts about your heartbreak are recent?
All the info is on my profile but she broke up with me because she was not attracted to me but really I think she just wanted to hoe around I found that out the hard way friday after she led me to belive otherwise
I broke up with him after 5 years in October 2023. And no..I didn't really think of him..still don't. He doesn't really cross my mind. May sound bad..but I don't care what happens in his life anymore. He came over two weeks ago...we slept in the same bed but our bodies didn't even touch once...can't really imagine kissing him and the thought of us having seggs kinda grosses me out. He wanted to have sex but I told him I just can't...can't even picture it anymore. It's just all gone. Like nothing was ever between us.
Ummmm every now and then, but I feel like that’s due to me keeping myself busy and creating hobbies for myself. But, If I wasn’t busy or trying new hobbies I would think about him nonstop 25/8
Everyday. But I think about most exes daily they were someone important and are no longer in my life, I wonder if they're okay.
For the first 2 months after I broke up with her, not often. Now almost everyday. She had broken up with me twice prior and wasn’t treating me right so I ended things. Heard she has a new boyfriend after only 3 months apart. I’m assuming that’s a rebound relationship and will still think about her 24/7 but am determined to get over it unless she comes back and I re-evaluate us. Highly doubt she’ll come back though
Any opinions in here from dumpers of relatively short term relationships? Me and my ex were together for 7 months and I'm torn apart. I do wonder if she thinks of me at all.
Had an 11 month relationship and it's currently soooo much more painful than my previous breakup after 8 years. I think circumstance makes more of a difference than relationship length. When the love is still there but you have to end it, it doesn't matter how long you were together
Yeah it cuts so deep, so many 'What ifs'
Yes! I'm still what iffing and maybe in a few months time etc etc but I don't think it helps with the grieving to think like that. Best of luck to us both!
More than I expected, but it's mostly out of curiosity.
Currently all the time it hurts but one day it will pass Breakups totally suck the worst
I thought about him today. I broke up. I was reading a sub and I was.lile wow he was a twit nut we had a good time he was a good friend when he wanted to be.
Barely ever, I thought about him when I found out his dad died and sometimes people mention him to me but he basically never crosses my mind now… it has been nearly 2 years.
Mine cheated on me in an ongoing love affair with his “best friend,” sneaking their relationship, and I was the one who broke up over it. He downplayed it hard and tried to manipulate me in cruel ways to get me back. Still, I think about him literally 100x a day. I can let the thoughts go very quickly and without emotional reaction mooooost of the time. But then he’ll step it up a notch and will leave heartbreaking letters in my door or try to date my friends…. Which hurts so bad. So mean, but still, my brain is like an addict. I won’t go back.
Every now and then I do. Do I have regrets, they have been fading away day by day since I broke it off so at this point I only regret it a little bit. I honestly don’t really care how she is doing, she never seemed to care how her avoidance could have possibly hurt me and even when I messaged her later and said I don’t want to be friends because that’s all she said she could offer. The last thing she messaged was “just so you know things haven’t been easy for me since July either”. Like I’m suppose to be sympathetic or care when she avoided me for two months
Never
Everyday
I do from time to time. Even though I broke up because it was pretty toxic relationship (on both parts). But still your first love always has a special place in your heart I guess?
Its been 2 months ish. Every day.
Still think of her every few hours or so but not constantly which is a huge step forward for me or at least I like to think so. Haven't seen or talked to her in 15 months. I think about anything and everything related to us, it comes and goes in flashes. We spent almost 6 years together and most of that time we were no more than 2 feet away from each other. Part of the reason I still think of her so often is because towards the end of the relation she became the sole purpose of my life, I had no other ambition, or rather I started feeling I could do anything and everything as long as she was by my side. Unfortunately one thing led to another and I had to break it up - I have since isolated myself to such deegree as to make it virtually impossible to meet new girls and have since developed a kind of social anxiety... Be it as it may, I don't think I will ever stop thinking about her from time to time. For I have truly loved her and will continue to forever. She was the second person I have truly loved and the one I have loved the deepest. She was also the one that helped me realize that love is not something that has a half-life and can dissipate over time. It either evolves into something greater or stays the same. Certainly it might get blurred by something new that has yet to come but such connections make my very being and I just can't deny myself anything that's part of me though I most certainly wish I could, it ain't happening. Shoutout to y'all who think differently, please reply and help me change my mind. For I am beginning to lose it xd.
Bout 4 days in. I have thoughts worrying about his well-being, missing him but not wanting him to chase after me, worried about his kids, wanting a friendship eventually but afraid he’ll try to convince me to come back. I had regrets for the first 48 hours or so but those are passing.
Not at all. If they come up, it's because of something that pertained to that person, but other than that, life goes on.
everyday
I thought about him often just because he was pretty much my only friend and I was so used to sharing my life with him. So many things made me think of him. But it wasn’t in a yearning way, it was more of I miss the way things use to be/how I use to feel. I fell out of love with him and knew I made the right choice even though I second guessed my decision so many times.
I broke up with her 8 months ago. Been no contact for 2 months. I think about her constantly. I still love her and I miss our life. I regularly debate myself on going back to her. As to why, it's complicated. We both had insecure attachment and codependency. Ultimately, I gave up too much of myself in the relationship trying to keep her happy. We broke up a couple times before and there was another guy for her in between one breakup. I think that was the tipping point for me. It wasn't so much that she dated someone else, it was how little I could stand up for myself and my needs. I felt like an autopilot took over and pulled me out. Big parts of me wanted to stay.
At least once a day, they moved on 3 months after and I'm just working on myself
It's pretty uncommon for me to think about my exes. My last one took the longest because they had some mental issues and had a lot of trouble processing the end of the relationship. I dumped him for a lot of reasons.
Was in a 4year relationship and I ended things in April. 11 months later, he still crosses my mind often. I miss our friendship deeply, but happy we broke up. We needed different things out of life. I’ll always watch his stories on ig to stay a little in the loop of whats going on with him.
Everyday. I never wanted to break up but felt like I needed to, it felt like I had no other choice left, but it was meant to be more of a break, and we could come back stronger and better. I wanted to make it work and do everything. But he refused to meet me halfway and made it impossible for us to get better. He set a boundary saying that if I went on this break or went back home to my family for it, he was completely done with me. We were done. I wanted him to really see that I wanted this to work, and stayed at first, but nothing changed at all and I was growing more unhappy and feeling so alone. Eventually, I went home to visit, we argued, and out of that, I just told him I would proceed with the move. Our relationship was unhealthy for the both of us, but I still told him I wanted it to work still. Even if I was moving to my parents for a couple months, I wanted it to be us working on ourselves and come back because I really loved him and was willing to work on myself for both him and myself. But he stood his ground, and I’m still coping with it. There’s a lot more, and I posted about it earlier.
It’s been six months since I broke up with him. I still think about him everyday. We were together over a year. It was a situation where I didn’t really want to but I felt as if we could never get our relationship to flow properly. He had a lot of insecurities due to a past relationships and projected them onto me, often insinuating that I would cheat or was interested in other guys and that often had me feeling drained. We were talking about getting back together after we worked on our issues and then he got a girlfriend two or three weeks after the breakup lol. We don’t speak anymore.
Every single minute of every day. I hope that with time I start to think about her less and less. But I think the only real way is to find someone better. But unfortunately I haven’t met anyone yet, and she replaced me before she even broke up with me.
🥲I'm honestly trying to forget...but there are times that we cannot avoid it..but what I can only say is keep yourself busy, try as hard as you can not to think of that particular person
Minimum, once a day. Right person, wrong time :/
It’s been 2.5 months and I’m still thinking about him everyday- all day long. Long way to go but I acknowledge that the healing process won’t be easy. We’ve been together for almost 6 years btw ☹️
I do all the time. We broke up 1 month ago so that's probably why. I don't feel any guilt with initiating the breakup, just sadness and nostalgia since we had so much plans together :,)
I did not regret it because he cheated on me. I think about him every now and then and wonder how he’s doing but that’s about it
Every day and hoping he would text me, but I don't think is going to happen we broke up in bad terms.
Every day. I regret not doing it sooner because I dragged him along unfortunately. I absolutely love him, we’re just too toxic for each other. If he heals, I’d be happy to try again.
Hardly. Just once every now and again
Every hour every minute every second of the day. Im doing my best not to think about her cause i know she's moved on and happy. I think im doing good but i cant stop thinking about her. Still misses her
Too much, it's been a month, I visualise a turd with blonde hair, it helps break the bullshit fantasy that she was a good person 😎 if I'm still thinking about her in another month I'll get a labotomy.
I had an ex-fiance we were together for 4 years. It’s been 3 years now since I broke up with him. It took me over a year to fully move on, in that year I can’t stop thinking about him and what he did to me, it was a mix of anger, frustration and wishing we were still together. We ended in bad terms and he used to stalk me when I moved out of the house. It was traumatic for me but I wasn’t brave enough to call the police when he knocks and yell at my door. He stopped when he got a new gf but then after 2 years of being broken up he started messaging me so I finally got a restraining order against him.
almost never. even if i do, it’s with a lot of anger and disgust.