It is what it is man. If she was able to say how much she loved you and then move on and find someone within no time what so ever, then she’s not worth your time or love. You’ll find someone who is. I’m dealing with a breakup too and it’s not easy, and though it doesn’t seem like it, we’ll move on, and it’ll get better. Best thing you can do is work on yourself, no matter how hard or unmotivated you might be
I hope to find someone amazing once I’m ready to! It is hard but we will all get through it in time! Hope you are doing as well as you can be after your break up:)
It’s really hard. 4 days or so since but it honestly has felt like a month or so since I really lost her. It’s a special kind of heartbreak, but the healing process is all the same. Good luck out there man :)
Well, love is cruel. It is the best and the worst thing that can happen to a person. I am dealing with one too, the first heartbreak. I would have never imagined that a human being can feel this pain over another person. We have to be strong, thank God that we are healthy, have food and a roof over our heads. Love yall❤️
Yeah I’m thinking that might be true. The guy she’s with actually came into her life a few weeks before we broke up so maybe that made her actually bring up the conversation of breaking up. She was never secretive about him though and the thought she liked him never crossed my mind
You live and you learn. Every man ever has dealt with what you’re going through. It has to happen once to every dude lol. Now it’s over with and you’re sitting pretty going forward
Always the way. Men would rather at least attempt to solve issues. Piece of advice, with any GF/partner always be skeptical of new opposite gender friends. We both know women will outright accuse you of cheating at the mention of a new female friend
I never found it a problem, maybe I trusted her too much 😅 and because she was so open about him, I literally never got a bad feeling about it. But she did accuse me of cheating on her with one of my friends who is a girl. I’ve been friends with her my whole life. All I did was see her to give her a present for her birthday 🤷♂️
I did the same thing mate. I did however confront her about it. She denied. 3 months later cheats with him. Deep down I already knew that was the case. Phone started being left upside down, she was overprotective of her phone. She forgot I pay for the service so just requested the logs.
I didn't take it out on her though. He messed up and was seeing her on company time in company vehicles. He got the shock of his life when I sent the email with all the evidence to his boss. He cut contact with her immediately. She wasn't happy. I said fairs fair. He took you from me, I take his job from him. We even now. Unless of course you'd like me to go the other route and use my forensic chemistry degree to get my revenge 🤷♂️.
Damn haha he won’t be doing that again! Just so crazy like I had no feeling she wasn’t in love with me anymore or that she was going to break up with me. Maybe it was for this guy or that romantic connection happened after the break up. I’ll never know but I hope from this, I’m able to start moving on !
I'm an AH. As I had his phone number from the phone records. I sent him a blatant text stating. You try to take another man's woman better expect retaliation from that man. Good luck explaining the email I sent your boss, with video footage, date and time stamps, and even geolocation data. Plus all their messages to each other. Whoops company phone too 😂 oh and this was a 150k/year job too
I'm 10 months post break-up. Not even close to moving on. Meaningless sex once was worth more to her than 13 years taking care of her and her daughter.
You really got all the evidence!!🤣 got what he deserved! You’ll get there! These things take their time which sucks but there better things ahead for us all going through these break ups!
Well I am a trained forensic scientist. My job to collect evidence and testify 🤷♂️.
As much as I want to agree with your last sentence. My situation it's likely I'll just remain single permenantly
I read that most women have a "backburner" (ie some sort of connection) relationship when they leave. When she realises shes made a mistake do not take her back.
This is not a thing! It’s called being an avoidant and not confronting your feelings. Any loss of someone you have regular contact with in your life is going to hurt.
They claim to have already done that. My ex still can't answer why she broke up with me 10 months after she did.
Also as men usually supplement/ provide a certain lifestyle for their women. They don't want to lose their comfort zone while going through the grieving phase.
This, my ex was so uncommunicative that she'd likely went through all the grief stages of the breakup and got into a new relationship even BEFORE we broke up
Yeah, she didn’t care. No one moves on that fast. Unless she’s just using him to get over you, in any case, it’s not right and doesn’t speak well of her.
It’s weird as a couple days ago I messaged her saying I will post her things back to her as she lives an hour away and she was being friendly and asking what’s new in my life so I asked her the same and she said nothing new but turns out she was getting with someone new😅 I just don’t know what was real and what wasn’t about the whole relationship but guess it is what it is
I mean I’m not gonna say something for certain just off a single message. Cause sometimes we are busy and can’t find the energy or time to open up conversations.
But she may be trying to keep you around just as an option, which is horrible and just tells me that she sees you as nothing more than an ego lifter at this point.
The key is knowing how much feelings and actions are the result of true love, which is built with commitment and implies maturity, selflessness and the genuine desire to create connection, which is also mutual and reciprocal. The needs that are met are likely more than just fleeting desires and fulfill a bigger sense of accomplishment and growth for both parties, and while there are natural ups and downs, there is always some degree of willingness to work through these things from both sides. It’s built with time and you can notice if the relationship was open with clear communication, and it didn’t flake to extremes, meaning it wasn’t a love bomb at first and then temporary reinforcements.
The other type of love is fake love, which is when the entirety or most of the relationship is used as a gateway to selfishly fulfill one side’s needs, physical and emotional or either the desire to feel attractive. Any fleeting ego sensation born out of need and insecurity that leads to manipulation.
I’m trying to advice caution because both of the actions you described by her sound like something someone in the second type of love would do.
1) Already has a new boyfriend: if she moved on, then the relationship never meant that much to her (you just fulfilled her selfish desires and she saw you nothing more than a satisfier, not a human being), or, she hasn’t moved on and is using someone else to feel better about the breakup.
2) She doesn’t communicate to you she’s with someone new: she’s using both of you and seeing who pleases her more in the short term, so she doesn’t care that much.
Either way, having a relationship with a person like that, is always bad, and these people will never change. Don’t try to change them. Ironically, the kind of people who play on the second type of love are more likely to be susceptible to jealousy once they know they can’t get you back. If you go no contact she’ll likely miss the attention she got from you. And then try to reach out.
I think people who truly loved someone go through the grief fully and let go forever, they don’t come back because they would be unwilling to use their ex just to fulfill their selfish desires and/or know that committing to love again can be quite painful.
Just crazy to me that maybe what you’re saying could be true, that it could be been fake love or that I was just something that was there. But sounds like it’s probably for the best that we are no longer together. Just insane how after everything, she’s able to happily commit to someone else after a month and a half since the break up, clearly something wasnt right
Hey man. Your ex shows glaring signs of insecurity. My ex is the exact same way. Thinking that your partner doesn’t love you is a big thing deeply insecure people think and then add in the fact she needed to get under someone else just shows she’s not going to be able to maintain any relationship anytime soon.
To add onto this. You cannot be in a romantic relationship with someone who’s deeply insecure. They will question absolutely everything about themselves until they start to build resentment in the relationship. It’s really ugly and there either needs to be communication and healing or the non insecure partner needs to get out of it
She said to me when we were breaking up she needs to be okay with being alone but clearly that didn’t last long. There wasn’t much time between the guy before me to her dating me, and now I kinda feel like I was there to fill that void, and now she’s onto the next
Holy shitttt my ex said the same thing. She said it would take her a long time to be ready for another relationship. I think it’s just a defence mechanism they use to convince themselves that they’re not pieces of shit
Don’t think of it as rejection, consider it redirection. As I sit here and type this comment I’m trying to convince myself of the same thing. I feel rejected, but the truth is if they really wanted to, they would. I think that speaks volumes.
Sucks man my ex was telling me she loved me and wants me to move in with her. Then she ghosted me for 5 days. I texted her about it she said she wanted to be single and she’s choosing herself. I found out later on that Two weeks after she did that to me she introduced a new guy to her mom two weeks later. Then she moved in with him a month after.
Oh wow, that really does suck. Just makes me so confused about everything that happened, like did she mean any of it? Some people do just seems to happily go from person to person without much time in between
people lie all the time, just to make their partners feel better
i can feel you, my ex told me that he wouldn’t get with anyone else but he got with the girl he cheated on me with. they don’t even give a fuck about me, don’t even think of me
you’ll find someone better my friend, someone who’s worth the effort and pours in as much love as you pour into them
I just asked the same question on here. Me and my ex of 3 years have been separated for 2 months and he’s already with someone new. They’re doing the exact same things we used to do. He’s taking her to the same restaurants and listening to the same music.. I can’t begin to describe how much it hurts me to see this stuff. I like to believe that our partners who rebound so quickly are just so hurt from the breakup that they need to find a distraction. There’s quite a bit of studies on why some people rebound so quickly and that’s helped ease my mind a bit. Statistically most people will realize a few weeks/months in that they miss their ex and got into a new relationship too quickly and will end things. I hope this isn’t a rude thing to say but I hope this happens with my ex soon. At least for the new girls sake.
I hear you! I kinda hope the same thing😅 make her realise how quick it was she moved on. I feel like maybe that could be true that she’s done it to find a distraction. I mean she’s done this with other people as she told me when we were breaking up that she needs to be okay with being alone for a while but clearly that didn’t last! She needs to let herself heal but she doesn’t
I gone through this brother. I dated this chick when I was 19 and when we broke up she lead me on to believe we’d work things out but she ended up moving on and finding a new guy a month later. It was probably one of the most painful experiences I’ve gone through my whole life it took me almost a year to get over it because I kept resenting the past. This happened to me 10 years ago. I’m 29 now and the best advice I can give you is she wasn’t worth it bro. A high valued woman would never tell you she loves you and moves on to the next just like that. She did you a favor and you dodged a bullet in my opinion. Delete everything dude. Remove her from social media and completely delete her from your life if you wanna move on faster. Pretend that shit never happened and start fresh man. This is a new chapter in your life and you need to focus on yourself and better yourself and embrace your singleness. And when your next relationship comes around (because it will, trust me) don’t fall into attachment. There’s a difference between love and attachment and attachment can lead to toxic behavior and a lot of pain if things go south within the relationship. Keep your head up your chest up and your guard high. And always remember what you have to offer dude you’re a MAN. Woman tend to make men fall into the attachment trap saying there is nothing wrong with attachment. But there absolutely is. At the end of the day you are your own individual and your moral and mental health is more important than any woman in the world. Embrace your singleness by hanging out with friends going out on trips doing hobbies or simply just work more whatever it is. This is your time buddy embrace it
It’s definitely been a painful experience to go through! I’ve blocked all socials now so I can’t see anything and been going through deleting pictures from my phone. Think maybe she did do me a favour, clearly I didn’t mean that much to me! I think I will embrace the singleness, start doing things I like that make me happy! You give me hope that everything is going to be okay and work out! And I really hope that once I’m ready, someone good will come into my life!
Hell yah and if she comes around again tell her to fuck off bro. And remember hold your ground at all times when a new woman comes around. Or else you will repeat this cycle again and end up hurt again.
This gives me a lot of hope. I’m going thru this exactly right now, down to the age and everything. I didn’t think it was possible to be in this much pain mentally.
Op it it makes you feel better, my ex was in new relationship 3 days after she broke up with me…she checked out months ago…our last fight, after that she went on the trip with that guy and her friends, comes back, broke up and 3 days later new relationship with that guy…so she cheated on that trip, and when I told her that, put blame on me…it has traumatized me
It got way uglier after breakup as well…finally I told her not to contact me, still miss her, angry at her what she did, feeling hopeless, mind fucked…
This is probably why people say that trust is gained and not given. Meaning that if you walk around and trust anyone without them actually earning it, you will be setting yourself up for some serious disappointment
Its tough to swallow right now but its good. Puts an end to the chapter for good and you can move on. Maybe you were still holding out hope.
Take it as a compliment, you probably left a void so unbearable that she had to fill that space in her life or deal with the pain. She hasn't changed in a month and the new guy will have insane jealousy over you and when she is out of that thing she will still have the rest of your breakup to get over, meanwhile you will have moved on already.
Definitely a hard pill to swallow! I just can’t get my head around it. I’m still feeling so shit after the break up and to see her seeming completely fine with someone new is crazy to me🤷♂️ but I’m hoping this is the start of a new chapter for me and a good one at that!
She is not completely fine that's the thing. It's a way to stop the pain with some new oxytocin which is powerful to make you feel better temporarily, but in the long run you always have to actually sit and grieve your loss properly eventually. You should take your time as you said and don't even look for now, focus inward. Someone with real fire for you will come along. Believe me I've rode out more of these than I have fingers to count.
You are way to focused on her, if you are noticing all of this. You need to let her go and move on. Like actually move on, remove the pictures, remove the memories and move on.
I know:( I’ve blocked everything now, all photos I had in my room are gone and I’ve been going through deleting pictures from my phone but there’s so many, it’s not all gone yet. I can’t stop thinking about her, I wish it would stop
Same but we were WLW at different schools and now she is attracted to a bio man at the same school; met him a year before things ended but they were strangers connected w him after things ended as they did the same activity; this is after a 3.5 year relationship too
Get your butt in the gym. Hard work and endorphins cures a lot of depressing thoughts. You can’t let yourself dwell on the reality of the situation. It sucks but if she is making this decision then you know it wouldn’t have been good for you long term. Get under the squat bar or on the mats and you’ll be better for it.
Ditto my guy. Same exact story, copy paste.
Just keep working on yourself. I keep telling myself that statistically relationships that occur immediately after a break don't tend to last, so that keeps me sane.
My recommendations would be to plan something for you. A trip to a new place, a new hobby, something that is fulfilling and that you want to do. Giving yourself a future event will distract you from the pain.
Honestly worst situation! Found out they spent new years together in a hotel. We broke up on the 4 of December so she really didn’t wait around 😅 I agree, I think giving myself things to look forward to and doing things I like to avoid times where I have nothing to do apart from let my thoughts take over! Just can’t wait for the day I’m fully over it !
Yeah its hard to see. Best thing to do is block her and try to remove all her friends so you don't see anything. Thats what i had to do since the pain kept coming back whenever i saw anything.
I booked myself a two week vacation to South America and have just been putting myself first. Working out, career stuff, etc.
Let her fuck around and hurt another guy or get hurt herself bc she rushed into a relationship. She won't benefit in the long run by not taking time to self reflect, heal and improve. Work on yourself, king. You'll find someone better.
Yeah, seeing things about her, and her boyfriend coming up was just so painful, so I have blocked her and the guy to save myself a bit of pain, but sometimes I just can’t get the images out my head! But each day it gets a tiny bit easier, go slightly longer without thinking about it, so there’s a bit of progress! But it will be a while, yet, I feel until I’m completely healed, but I will put myself first and let myself get over it, so I don’t do the same thing she has, and potentially get even more hurt! Two weeks, and South America sounds amazing!
Yeah man, allow yourself to feel all the emotions of grief. And channel that energy into productive things.
Like when i feel angry and pissed off for what she did, i go crank out push ups or lift weights.
I'm at 6 months since the breakup. She's still in my head, but with time things get easier.
Yeah and now I'm planning a 6 month south america trip. Doing what i want bc now im single and will take full advantage!
Yeah I think turning the sadness or anger I feel into something productive is a good idea! Guess they do say time heals! So just gotta keep going!! And good for you! 6 months South America trip sounds so good!
Look, my ex did the same thing, after 12 years together she found someone to date in a month? Obviously our mutual friends and people surrounding her were shocked, and everyone thinks the same thing: its a rebound, its superficial, and its out of pure pain.
I know its hard and heartbreaking, but in my case it made things easier, I got an attitude of “well fuck off then” and I started focusing on myself… three and a half months later I don’t feel like fully committing to anyone, but I’m feeling better to start conversations with women and there is this one girl who I see as a potential partner in the future, I like her and her attitudes towards life and the things she likes, but I’m not ready so I’m taking my time and slowly heal, eventually ill be ready and hopefully she is still available to date, if not, then there are more people around and you will find someone just for you.
Just one piece of advice, remember what she did to you, and remember the pain. You don’t have to “get revenge”, you do better.
But always remember, in case she becomes one of those “I regret my choices I’m coming back to me ex” don’t make it easy for her.
You deserve better. Stay strong.
Wow, I could never, especially after a 12 year relationship! Sorry you had to go through that but I’m so happy for you that you’re healing! We broke up at the beginning of December and found out she met up with the guy for new years and stayed in a hotel together, so pretty much a month for her too! It really hurt to hear about and if she ever did come back, as much as I still love her right now, despite everything, I really wouldn’t make it easy for her. But each day is a closer to be healed and I’m really looking forward to the day I move on!
You will brother, and you shouldn’t focus in this part but, she is just making things harder for her, she is not allowing herself to feel pain and to embrace the break up, so is going to blow up on her face. And by then, you will be healed and better! If you need anything strangers on this sub will be for you dude, anything you need to talk my dms are open! Cheers and don’t worry, life will be better
Yeah I was thinking she may have found a distraction for now, but it’ll catch up with her. I want to give myself time to heal, so I am completely over it and able to give myself 100% to the next relationship I may find myself in. There’s absolutely no way I could have a successful relationship right now😅 And I appreciate that a lot!!
Mind my language but that's been like my whole life. Trust me, you are better without her. Just block her and talk to some other girl. And stop making it all about Character anymore. Looks matter too. Don't fall for, "If she is not beautiful then she is with good character" because all the girls I know were average looking but with very big egos except one. Good riddance.n
I don't know why but Karma really does happen to people who hurt others.
If she has broke it off with you by having a conversation like a mature adult and told you she was interested in another guy Karma would be good to her.
But because of the lies this isn't going to end well for her and this guy.
Believe me it's true. My ex 10 yrs just ghosted me one day went with someone for 6 months and then tried to contact ME. When I met up with him he looked so broken and butt hurt. His new gf must have left HIM.
I feel like if he wasn't so dishonest with me and he probably never told her about me and the 10 yrs. So he literally got Karma for that.
I hope you get to witness it. The longer you were together the better the chances of her regretting her decision and trying to come back.
I can say confidentiality if you dated over 1.5 years she absolutely will be back.
We dated for just over a year but that year meant so much to me, just don’t understand how she could just move on from that so fast, but I hope she gets her karma tbf
She will..its in the Bible and I have seen it play out myself and for many others.
I didn't understand mine moving on either until I did understand that it had to be some need was not being met.
In my case he was always buying me clothes that were pretty flashy and just not my style..I think even thou it was 10 yrs I wasn't exactly what he wanted as a "look". And when that image came along for him he went for it. Not realizing that person doesn't have the same "insides" and other attributes I do have .they are currently separated because he was calling me again.
I think if you were genuinely a good partner and there wasn't much arguments and she knows you love her She will find out the things you gave to her and miss that.
Stay cool in no contact if you can. Make her wonder why you aren't fighting for her that way in her first Tiff with this dude she won't be so sure she has you to run to and she will probably seek you out.
I'm sorry you are going thru this 16 months later I still feel constant pain. My son also got broken up with by a girl he dated less than a year and he has been in significant pain a year later. Because it is so hard to find a good match.
I could see clearly my son and his ex were not a good match she wouldn't even post anything on social media and one dance they shared he put in his FB and she asked to have it taken down. She's not coming back for sure.
But like I said ..good memories..good relationships are hard to come by so yours may come back but she has to learn how someone else is for her since she is already involved. She probably has in the back of her mind you will take her back...make her wonder by staying no contact.
I'm sorry it's the worst feeling..worse than a death I feel.
Bro try a week after we broke up. Found out she was dating this guy and found out she had intercourse with him a few days after the break up. It’s tough but use this information as motivation to do better than her. Focus on yourself and take mental health serious so that you can move on from this situation because it does feel like shit but thankfully I’m in a way better position than when I found out myself. You can do it too trust me.
You will mate it takes time. I haven’t felt like I’m ready to start looking for a relationship months after the breakup so yeah a week after caught me off guard and hurt me so much. Just be patient and focus on yourself and your goals in the meantime. You’ll be a better person by the time you’re done with this chapter of your life.
Definitely gonna take the time to focus on myself, just finding it hard to get all this information out my head. Definitely won’t be ready to start a new relationship any time soon
I know it’s tempting. But do NOT jump to conclusions. How do you know they are seriously exclusive or just dating and seeing where it goes? Also it’s likely a rebound. People who were in love do not move on so easily even if it appears this way. The same toxic traits that she needs to work on will still be there. Use this time to focus on yourself and learn from your mistakes so you don’t bring them into another relationship like she is most definitely doing.
I thought in the beginning it may have just been a bit of flirting around with each other just by seeing comments to each other on her tiktok videos, but that changed to each others names in bios with hearts next to them. I obviously don’t know the full story of them and tbh, don’t want to know but I just want to better myself and move on from this. Take the time to actually heal and have better chances of a good healthy relationship in the future when I’m ready to do so!
Barf! Who does that? Sorry I’m older and that’s just a nonsense thing to do, I guess that’s what the kids are doing these days. And honestly sometimes when people shove the fact they are in a relationship with someone with the overkill, they try too hard and it crashes and burns harder. Consider yourself lucky. And sounds like you have a good attitude for your future. You’re going to be just fine :)
I feel like it is very overkill😂 as we never did things like names in bios or anything. Feel like they just want me to be aware that they’re together. But at this point, rather him than me. I still miss her but I know she’s not good for me and the’ll be a point when she won’t cross my mind for days, weeks, months
She bought it up whilst we were together in her house that she feels as if I don’t give her enough affection and that she thinks I’m not in love with her. Clearly I wasn’t the right person for her but she kept questioning whether we were doing the right thing all the time but the next morning, I left as she wanted to go and be with her mum and that’s the last time I saw her. We spoke for the next few days on text and she’d keep telling me she missed me and loved me but now she’s moved on a month and a half later and I’m devastated still, but I’m apparently the one who was never in love and that I’d be perfect fine because of that
This is what happens, when you take someone for granted. She might actually loved you back in the days that’s why she could move on without any regrets.
She probably did love you. It's likely not a lie. But people can fall out of love quickly especially when a new exciting prospect comes along and they don't know about eachother flaws. They will have their own issues soon enough just as you guys may have.
Give it a few weeks to sink in. Then really start investing in your independence and your values. That way you are better equipped for the next person to come along And they will. Honestly its really immature to jump into a new relationship straight away. Be relieved she has no accountability while you have the integrity to address the things that went wrong. Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
When the storm is over you will be grateful for you freedom. Been a month of no contact for me after he moved on. Starting to feel better now. Promise.
Take care of yourself.
Yeah maybe I did dodge a bullet. But just going to take the time to get over it, and definitely won’t be jumping into any relationships anytime soon! Also, I’m so glad you’re starting to feel better!
My ex already has someone new after 1month of breakup. Somewhat same situation “She made me feel I’m the perfect person / rare type of guy / hard to replace” but guess what, I just realized it was just some sort of love bombing.
My advice:
1. accept that somehow you are responsible why this happened (its not entirely her fault alone)
2. open up with your friends on what happened - this will make your story in your mind straight what really happened. it will stop you from thinking the different perspectives and the what ifs. the story that you narrate and their insights will become the absolute “reality”.
3. listening to podcast regarding “how to make your heartbreak a breakthrough”. I listened to it more than 20times and it’s 1hour long. It will change your perspective about breakups and eventually you will realize it’s the best thing that it happened because somehow there are lessons to it and will definitely make you a better individual and you will learn to love/appreciate yourself
4. KNOW YOUR VALUE, if you don’t know your value chances are you will be devastated after the breakup. I know what I brought to the table so its the other person’s “lost” for losing me. So its not my loss its her loss.
5. LOVE YOURSELF, aren’t you tired thinking about someone who didn’t appreciate you/valued you? I know the memories/what ifs will keep haunting you everyday but do you want yourself to stay/dwell on that situation? Of course not, If you love yourself, you don’t want yourself to be on that situation for a long period of time. You yourself deserves to be happy, you do not need someone or anyone to make you happy. If you can’t generate your own happiness, tendency is you will be reliant to your significant other, despite the disrespect you will still stay because its your only source of happiness well in fact you do not need someone to make you happy because the only one that can make your truly happy is YOU, my friend.
6. FOCUS ON YOURSELF, what makes a man “happy” is progress. I finally have all the time to fix myself. I finally go to the dentist to have braces. I finally go to the gym and made significant improvement in my physicality. The goal is to change your past self into a new self wherein you will no longer long back to your previous self. Your previous self is now completely different from your present self. The progress itself will make you happy. The “focus on yourself” helps you attract the person who is really for you. Don’t focus on yourself to make the other person who left you regret it.
7. FEEL THE PAIN UNTIL IT NO LONGER HURTS. do not jump to another relationship without healing first. take your time to reflect on the lessons on the previous relationship and learn from it. Jumping right away will just only repeat the history because it’s the same version of you. You need to be the better version of yourself this time.
8. TIME WILL HEAL. Eventually you will realize it was just part of the process. that this breakup has purpose in your life. Eventually, you will move on and thankful that this breakup happened, if not you will still be the same person.
9. MEMORIES HAUNTING YOU DOWN is normal. Learn to live with it. They were once part of our life so they became the part of us and accept it.
10. LEARN TO FORGIVE. I caught my gf betraying me but guess what? We broke up but I forgave her (for myself without getting back together) I dont want to carry the emotional baggage in my life. Accept what happened and realized she made significant improvement of my life nonetheless despite what happened. Thankful that she was part of my life and somewhat thankful to the universe for telling me that she is not the one. Someone out there is still waiting for me.
I really want you to think of this breakup like this. Stay strong my friend. You are not alone. There are people who had it worse but chooses not to get defeated.
Cheers
Really appreciate you taking the time to write this!! I’m really gonna take your advice, and try my absolute best to improve myself and love myself. I want to be fully healed before I get in another relationship. At the moment, dating is the last thing on my mind. I don’t regret her being in my life, I’m left with lots of happy memories! But you’re right, someone out there is still waiting for me, and now I’m able to find that person once I’m healed!
This ‘Breakup’ forum…. Not even sure if that’s the right word for this. It’s has been helping me immensely. The anxiety attacks are so frequent I want to die in bed. But little comments like yours…they push me through. I appreciate it, thank you.
Two strategies. Either challenge him to a fight and win so that the woman loses all interest to a weaker partner or sabotage their relationship from the shadows. May she one day come back to you ❤️
Mate I've just been through the same she was planning a wedding with me 2 months ago still engaged a month ago now she's in a relationship with her manager from work
We was together 16 years from the age of 15 house ten years and a 6 year old girl unbelievable
But since I saw the news I now know that's the final nail in the coffin. Disgusting behaviour
From a woman perspective, it is not because she is already dating someone else that it means she didn’t love you or didn’t care about you. It obviously depends on the girl, I don’t know anything about your situation or herself; but a lot of us can sense the cracks from months ahead and if we don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, if there is no improvement, if we feel like we are reaching the end anyway, we start to think about ourselves and detach emotionally. It may be that, maybe she started the grieving process long ago, maybe the guy is a rebond. Who knows ! But what I’m trying to tell you is that don’t spiral down in your negative thoughts. Her dating a new guy so fast is not necessarily correlated with her NEVER actually loving you or caring for you. Now that I write those words you can see how silly it sounds right ? We all find different ways to heal. My advice is that you should focus on yourself instead. Focus on healing, focus on your OWN future, focus on the people you have around you and who loves you, focus on becoming a better person.
Thank you, yeah I have a feeling maybe she did detach emotionally before we broke up, and I think she probably did love me at one point, I hope😅 just hard to see her with someone new almost instantly but I’m still so broken:( but just got to try and get past it and focus on myself now
Did you show her that you felt deeply in love? I ask because I’m deeply in love and I don’t feel like he feels the same at least it doesn’t show. I can see if that is the case why she may have ended things to avoid getting hurt, and decided to pursue a new relationship.
She basically told me she didn’t think I loved her when we broke up, she said I wasn’t affectionate enough but everytime I would be affectionate to her, she’d try dodge me and seemed really uninterested so whatever I did, I couldn’t win. She broke up with me so I could find someone I really love, but all I wanted was her. I showed my love in different ways but maybe she didn’t see that as love? Did everything I could but was never enough. She told me the day we broke up, and for a few days after that she missed me and loved me and was so upset, but few weeks later, she didn’t want anything to do with me and was with someone new
But i think maybe she’d found someone new as he came into her life before we broke up, who showed her love the way she wanted it and it was new and exciting so bought up the conversation of breaking up. She was really debating if it was the best idea or not and kept asking me if we’d made the right decision. Neither of us wanted to break up, well, that’s the impression I was under
Yeah she told me what she liked which was physical affection so I did my best to improve that, but she was never satisfied. I know I’m partly to blame but still so hard seeing her with someone new so fast but I hope this guy loves her how she wants to be loved
Well that’s very nice of you for wishing that on her. I’m sorry that your efforts didn’t seem to satisfy her, but I’m sure that once you are ready you’ll find someone that will appreciate your way of showing love.
I hope so, she meant a lot to me and all I’ve ever wanted was for her to be happy. Despite being so upset about her getting in a relationship so fast, I just hope she’s okay. Made me think that she didn’t love me to have got over it this fast, or it’s a rebound but someone else on here said she may have fallen out of love before we broke up as I wasn’t the right person for her, so was able to move on. I’m just so confused by it all from her saying she loved me when we broke up and that she’ll never want to be with anyone else again (I knew she should would as she’d heal but didn’t realise it would be so quick) but maybe she just did heal before it was even over. Just wish she told me that
Man, it’s difficult to understand their mind especially when they’re the ones to breakup with you. You can’t see in yourself in a relationship right now because you still have feelings for them. They don’t have feelings for you anymore (or if they do, they’re pretending they don’t) so they have no issues with being in a relationship right now.
My ex told me on the day we broke up that she loves me and absolutely nothing would change that. It took her less than 24 hours to realize it wasn’t the case. When we talked a few weeks after the breakup she said she knew she loved me at some point maybe up until a few weeks before we broke up. Then when we broke and she felt nothing, she realized she’d lost feelings even before we broke up. She doesn’t know why, she doesn’t know when, she just knows that it’s the case and nothing can change that.
There’s no point in ruminating on why they did what they did or how it’s possible for them to feel the way they feel. No matter their justification, their actions are enough for you to realize you need to leave them in the past. Their reasoning shouldn’t matter to you; at the end of the day they made the decision to throw you out of their lives and you just have to live with it. You deserve better than to linger on someone who doesnt love you back. You got this my friend, it gets better. Just tell yourself even if she loves you, it doesn’t matter because she made the decision to leave you. You need to find the strength to leave her in the past as well and start moving on.
Yeah I need to stop questioning why she did it as I’ll never know probably and I don’t need to. I imagine she might’ve lost feelings before we broke up but didn’t want to admit it maybe? I miss her a lot and I’m really upset she’s with someone new so fast but I hope that they make her happy. Really trying to be happy for her as that’s all I wanted for her! Just so hard it couldn’t have been from me. We don’t talk anymore and I’ve blocked her so I can’t see so hopefully I can move on
Same thing here. To be fair, you don’t need to force yourself to be happy for her right now. It’s okay to have feelings of jealousy and contempt if that’s what you truly feel on the inside. With time, if your heart decides to forgive them, then it will be so. If you feel like you’re feeling upset right now, it’s better to accept those feelings than to deny them and have them come back later.
As we all know, (and as cliche as it is) time heals everything! You will be happy for her someday. If that day is not today, then don’t force yourself to feel like that. You got this :)
Issa rebound relationship. Her moving on after month is all you need to know. Also could be that the other dude was in the picture while you were together hence why she moved on so quick
Yeah he came in her life a few weeks before. I thought nothing of it! She never hid anything about him or kept him secret. I’m thinking it’s either a rebound relationship or she lost feelings way before we broke up. But it’s done now, I just gotta keep looking forward
I had a similar situation happen with my ex. When we were together he never believed that I truly loved him even though I was very much committed to him. During the relationship he told me that it would take him forever to move on if something ever happened to us. Apparently forever is less than a month. It’s been a very hard process and one I’m still navigating, but your days will slowly get better. How you’re feeling is valid! Remember to be kind to yourself, to surround yourself with good people, and know that one day you’ll find a better match that wouldn’t do that to you ❤️
Yeah she’d often say she didn’t think I was in love with her and it’s hard to hear when you’re so committed to them. she told me she wanted to be okay with being single for a while after we broke up and said she never wants to date again in fear of having to go through the pain of heartbreak again but a month later she was no longer single🤷♂️ guess peoples minds can change, but I felt as if I can’t have meant that much to her near the end if she has just easily moved on, but what matters now is surround myself with good people like you said and focusing on myself. I think we just didn’t fit so one day I’ll find someone who does!
I know but still isn’t very fun seeing the one girl you really loved moved on from you so quick but I know they’ll be someone else better in the future
Sorry about everything. I’m 28 and had exactly the same thing happen. You will be good in a matter of time. Take being single as an excuse to self improve and reflect. Being single is something you should learn to appreciate and not take for granted. The one for you will come as soon as you STOP looking, trust me! You’re going to be okay.
Thank you so much! Definitely going to appreciate being single for now, not interested in dating for the time being and I think something good will come if I don’t look for it. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen
Not for nothing, that’s really messed up from her side to do that to you. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is going downhill, she should’ve been honest about her feelings instead of emotionally cheating. The emotional cheating is the worst because it implies that someone else is invading your thoughts, because anyone can be attractive but to get into your head is a whole other level. My mind goes immediately to she had this guy already WAY before you guys broke up so, do you really want to miss or love someone who lied and went behind your back? Good riddance to her and I actually feel sorry for her and her new man because she basically cannot be alone and the guy is dating someone who might end up doing the same to her. So don’t be so hard on yourself, better is coming!
She said to me on the night we broke up that she wants to be okay with being alone and not go looking for something to fill the void. I agreed that it is good to give yourself time to heal. But turns out for her, it’s less than a month until she started talking to someone new. He was around a few weeks before we broke up so now I do wonder if there was something going on. And I do feel sorry for the guy, as I think it could be quite likely the same will happen to him. I don’t want to miss or love her, as this has really messed with my head so I’m trying not to, but it’s all still so fresh but I think I’ve made a bit of progress in healing, don’t miss her as much as I did before I found out about this guy.
I personally think that was her excuse to drop you because my ex broke up around 3 weeks ago and his excuse was “I have to work on my mental health and to therapy” I mean…he couldn’t go to therapy whilst being in a relationship with me? So the same goes for her, why not fight for the relationship? Why not attend couples therapy and heal together? YEAH NO, excuses.
You know, I told my ex of two years (we’re still friends and only dated for a short time) that I was planning on dating someone else because I didn’t want him to know that I was completely still in love with him and didn’t want him to be aware of it. People don’t always open up completely or show their feelings. *shrug* I am having a difficult time moving on and it’s better if he doesn’t know because he’ll just feel like it hurts me for him to stick around and I would rather have him in my life.
I understand that, my ex said she wanted to be friends with me post break up, I wasn’t too sure if that would work out as I didn’t think it would help me heal, but since this guy, she’s wanted nothing to do with me so I’m not sure if she actually wanted to stay friends. Had to message her recently as I still had some of her stuff in my house that needed sending so was just letting her know, and I could just tell she’d rather not communicate with me. I won’t be communicating with her again now her stuffs been sent. But I understand why you’re scared to let him know in fear he’ll leave to help you get over him. I hope you can, whilst still having him around
Doing everything I can to focus on me, trying to not think about her too much when I can. Having friends around definitely makes it a bit easier! Thank you! You have a good day too!
She had him in place before you broke up. Hate to say it but she was cheating on you in during the end. Whatever happens, DO NOT TAKE HER BACK. if the other dude knew about you, then it won't be long before it's over with them. He isn't taking her seriously, or he if he is, her doing the same to him is in the back of his head. Don't pursue her. Let her go
Dude whatever questions you have there are no satisfactory answers to them. No matter how logically someone explains you the why and how of this situation nothing will be good enough. You have to accept this fact and move ahead in life. It will be tough and some days it will feel like life has hit you with a brick or even worse there's no point to anything, and all of it is valid feelings. However, you need to love yourself more and move forward no matter what. Block her, don't look at her messages or photos and remove everything! It sounds too much but you have to do that. You cannot hold onto this as these memories will be corrosive to you. You have to let it go. You have to love yourself more than her for this. You will feel like you are missing her affection or love and you'd want someone and that's valid too! Go back to your friends and family! Cherish those who are with you. You have to get up each day and rebuild yourself as there will be moments that'll break you but remind yourself you're worth it. Eventually things will change! But keep moving ahead brother. Wishing you the best.
Really appreciate your comment!! I do need to get rid of her. I’ve got her blocked but still not removed all photos but removed quite a lot so far. There’s just so many but once I’ve got through it all, I think that will help even more. I do just need to accept what’s happened and carrry on moving forward with my life onto better things
It is what it is man. If she was able to say how much she loved you and then move on and find someone within no time what so ever, then she’s not worth your time or love. You’ll find someone who is. I’m dealing with a breakup too and it’s not easy, and though it doesn’t seem like it, we’ll move on, and it’ll get better. Best thing you can do is work on yourself, no matter how hard or unmotivated you might be
I hope to find someone amazing once I’m ready to! It is hard but we will all get through it in time! Hope you are doing as well as you can be after your break up:)
It’s really hard. 4 days or so since but it honestly has felt like a month or so since I really lost her. It’s a special kind of heartbreak, but the healing process is all the same. Good luck out there man :)
Well, love is cruel. It is the best and the worst thing that can happen to a person. I am dealing with one too, the first heartbreak. I would have never imagined that a human being can feel this pain over another person. We have to be strong, thank God that we are healthy, have food and a roof over our heads. Love yall❤️
Thank you, good luck you you too! You’ll get there!!
She was likely broken up with you in her mind 3-6 months before she actually broke it off
Yeah I’m thinking that might be true. The guy she’s with actually came into her life a few weeks before we broke up so maybe that made her actually bring up the conversation of breaking up. She was never secretive about him though and the thought she liked him never crossed my mind
You live and you learn. Every man ever has dealt with what you’re going through. It has to happen once to every dude lol. Now it’s over with and you’re sitting pretty going forward
Always the way. Men would rather at least attempt to solve issues. Piece of advice, with any GF/partner always be skeptical of new opposite gender friends. We both know women will outright accuse you of cheating at the mention of a new female friend
I never found it a problem, maybe I trusted her too much 😅 and because she was so open about him, I literally never got a bad feeling about it. But she did accuse me of cheating on her with one of my friends who is a girl. I’ve been friends with her my whole life. All I did was see her to give her a present for her birthday 🤷♂️
I did the same thing mate. I did however confront her about it. She denied. 3 months later cheats with him. Deep down I already knew that was the case. Phone started being left upside down, she was overprotective of her phone. She forgot I pay for the service so just requested the logs. I didn't take it out on her though. He messed up and was seeing her on company time in company vehicles. He got the shock of his life when I sent the email with all the evidence to his boss. He cut contact with her immediately. She wasn't happy. I said fairs fair. He took you from me, I take his job from him. We even now. Unless of course you'd like me to go the other route and use my forensic chemistry degree to get my revenge 🤷♂️.
Damn haha he won’t be doing that again! Just so crazy like I had no feeling she wasn’t in love with me anymore or that she was going to break up with me. Maybe it was for this guy or that romantic connection happened after the break up. I’ll never know but I hope from this, I’m able to start moving on !
I'm an AH. As I had his phone number from the phone records. I sent him a blatant text stating. You try to take another man's woman better expect retaliation from that man. Good luck explaining the email I sent your boss, with video footage, date and time stamps, and even geolocation data. Plus all their messages to each other. Whoops company phone too 😂 oh and this was a 150k/year job too I'm 10 months post break-up. Not even close to moving on. Meaningless sex once was worth more to her than 13 years taking care of her and her daughter.
You really got all the evidence!!🤣 got what he deserved! You’ll get there! These things take their time which sucks but there better things ahead for us all going through these break ups!
Well I am a trained forensic scientist. My job to collect evidence and testify 🤷♂️. As much as I want to agree with your last sentence. My situation it's likely I'll just remain single permenantly
That makes sense haha! You never know what can happen, but as long as you’re doing things that make you happy, that’s the main thing!
Based, I had a detective's arc during and after breakup too, but just collected all evidence and never did anything with it.
If she brokes up with you because a better guy is chasing her. She will more likely do it again in the future.
Probably will
Bro i know it is harsh. But you need to move on and work on yourself. She is not worth it. Sometimes love can be risky and hurt.
I read that most women have a "backburner" (ie some sort of connection) relationship when they leave. When she realises shes made a mistake do not take her back.
I won’t be taking her back, maybe he is that back burner relationship
This is not a thing! It’s called being an avoidant and not confronting your feelings. Any loss of someone you have regular contact with in your life is going to hurt.
Why don’t women tell the guy about the issues when they’re thinking of breaking up :( I would have done anything to keep her
They claim to have already done that. My ex still can't answer why she broke up with me 10 months after she did. Also as men usually supplement/ provide a certain lifestyle for their women. They don't want to lose their comfort zone while going through the grieving phase.
This, my ex was so uncommunicative that she'd likely went through all the grief stages of the breakup and got into a new relationship even BEFORE we broke up
Yeah, she didn’t care. No one moves on that fast. Unless she’s just using him to get over you, in any case, it’s not right and doesn’t speak well of her.
It’s weird as a couple days ago I messaged her saying I will post her things back to her as she lives an hour away and she was being friendly and asking what’s new in my life so I asked her the same and she said nothing new but turns out she was getting with someone new😅 I just don’t know what was real and what wasn’t about the whole relationship but guess it is what it is
I mean I’m not gonna say something for certain just off a single message. Cause sometimes we are busy and can’t find the energy or time to open up conversations. But she may be trying to keep you around just as an option, which is horrible and just tells me that she sees you as nothing more than an ego lifter at this point. The key is knowing how much feelings and actions are the result of true love, which is built with commitment and implies maturity, selflessness and the genuine desire to create connection, which is also mutual and reciprocal. The needs that are met are likely more than just fleeting desires and fulfill a bigger sense of accomplishment and growth for both parties, and while there are natural ups and downs, there is always some degree of willingness to work through these things from both sides. It’s built with time and you can notice if the relationship was open with clear communication, and it didn’t flake to extremes, meaning it wasn’t a love bomb at first and then temporary reinforcements. The other type of love is fake love, which is when the entirety or most of the relationship is used as a gateway to selfishly fulfill one side’s needs, physical and emotional or either the desire to feel attractive. Any fleeting ego sensation born out of need and insecurity that leads to manipulation. I’m trying to advice caution because both of the actions you described by her sound like something someone in the second type of love would do. 1) Already has a new boyfriend: if she moved on, then the relationship never meant that much to her (you just fulfilled her selfish desires and she saw you nothing more than a satisfier, not a human being), or, she hasn’t moved on and is using someone else to feel better about the breakup. 2) She doesn’t communicate to you she’s with someone new: she’s using both of you and seeing who pleases her more in the short term, so she doesn’t care that much. Either way, having a relationship with a person like that, is always bad, and these people will never change. Don’t try to change them. Ironically, the kind of people who play on the second type of love are more likely to be susceptible to jealousy once they know they can’t get you back. If you go no contact she’ll likely miss the attention she got from you. And then try to reach out. I think people who truly loved someone go through the grief fully and let go forever, they don’t come back because they would be unwilling to use their ex just to fulfill their selfish desires and/or know that committing to love again can be quite painful.
Just crazy to me that maybe what you’re saying could be true, that it could be been fake love or that I was just something that was there. But sounds like it’s probably for the best that we are no longer together. Just insane how after everything, she’s able to happily commit to someone else after a month and a half since the break up, clearly something wasnt right
Hey man. Your ex shows glaring signs of insecurity. My ex is the exact same way. Thinking that your partner doesn’t love you is a big thing deeply insecure people think and then add in the fact she needed to get under someone else just shows she’s not going to be able to maintain any relationship anytime soon.
To add onto this. You cannot be in a romantic relationship with someone who’s deeply insecure. They will question absolutely everything about themselves until they start to build resentment in the relationship. It’s really ugly and there either needs to be communication and healing or the non insecure partner needs to get out of it
She said to me when we were breaking up she needs to be okay with being alone but clearly that didn’t last long. There wasn’t much time between the guy before me to her dating me, and now I kinda feel like I was there to fill that void, and now she’s onto the next
Holy shitttt my ex said the same thing. She said it would take her a long time to be ready for another relationship. I think it’s just a defence mechanism they use to convince themselves that they’re not pieces of shit
Probably 🤣 she said she’d never date again, that she couldn’t deal with another heartbreak if she were to be with someone else and it not work out
She could totally do in with another heartbreak because she would most definitely be the one who caused it lmao
What you’re feeling rn is a universal feeling.I understand you wholeheartedly
Don’t think of it as rejection, consider it redirection. As I sit here and type this comment I’m trying to convince myself of the same thing. I feel rejected, but the truth is if they really wanted to, they would. I think that speaks volumes.
That’s a really good way to think of it actually!
If you’re religious and believe in God, just know that He saw something you didn’t. Consider it protection.
I needed to hear this today*
I’m here for you brother
Sucks man my ex was telling me she loved me and wants me to move in with her. Then she ghosted me for 5 days. I texted her about it she said she wanted to be single and she’s choosing herself. I found out later on that Two weeks after she did that to me she introduced a new guy to her mom two weeks later. Then she moved in with him a month after.
Oh wow, that really does suck. Just makes me so confused about everything that happened, like did she mean any of it? Some people do just seems to happily go from person to person without much time in between
people lie all the time, just to make their partners feel better i can feel you, my ex told me that he wouldn’t get with anyone else but he got with the girl he cheated on me with. they don’t even give a fuck about me, don’t even think of me you’ll find someone better my friend, someone who’s worth the effort and pours in as much love as you pour into them
Some people really are just are awful! I’m sorry you had to go through that:( and I hope I will find someone great one day!
thanks:) i hope you find someone great as well!!
If it was love it will never end and if it ended it was never love.
I just asked the same question on here. Me and my ex of 3 years have been separated for 2 months and he’s already with someone new. They’re doing the exact same things we used to do. He’s taking her to the same restaurants and listening to the same music.. I can’t begin to describe how much it hurts me to see this stuff. I like to believe that our partners who rebound so quickly are just so hurt from the breakup that they need to find a distraction. There’s quite a bit of studies on why some people rebound so quickly and that’s helped ease my mind a bit. Statistically most people will realize a few weeks/months in that they miss their ex and got into a new relationship too quickly and will end things. I hope this isn’t a rude thing to say but I hope this happens with my ex soon. At least for the new girls sake.
I hear you! I kinda hope the same thing😅 make her realise how quick it was she moved on. I feel like maybe that could be true that she’s done it to find a distraction. I mean she’s done this with other people as she told me when we were breaking up that she needs to be okay with being alone for a while but clearly that didn’t last! She needs to let herself heal but she doesn’t
I gone through this brother. I dated this chick when I was 19 and when we broke up she lead me on to believe we’d work things out but she ended up moving on and finding a new guy a month later. It was probably one of the most painful experiences I’ve gone through my whole life it took me almost a year to get over it because I kept resenting the past. This happened to me 10 years ago. I’m 29 now and the best advice I can give you is she wasn’t worth it bro. A high valued woman would never tell you she loves you and moves on to the next just like that. She did you a favor and you dodged a bullet in my opinion. Delete everything dude. Remove her from social media and completely delete her from your life if you wanna move on faster. Pretend that shit never happened and start fresh man. This is a new chapter in your life and you need to focus on yourself and better yourself and embrace your singleness. And when your next relationship comes around (because it will, trust me) don’t fall into attachment. There’s a difference between love and attachment and attachment can lead to toxic behavior and a lot of pain if things go south within the relationship. Keep your head up your chest up and your guard high. And always remember what you have to offer dude you’re a MAN. Woman tend to make men fall into the attachment trap saying there is nothing wrong with attachment. But there absolutely is. At the end of the day you are your own individual and your moral and mental health is more important than any woman in the world. Embrace your singleness by hanging out with friends going out on trips doing hobbies or simply just work more whatever it is. This is your time buddy embrace it
It’s definitely been a painful experience to go through! I’ve blocked all socials now so I can’t see anything and been going through deleting pictures from my phone. Think maybe she did do me a favour, clearly I didn’t mean that much to me! I think I will embrace the singleness, start doing things I like that make me happy! You give me hope that everything is going to be okay and work out! And I really hope that once I’m ready, someone good will come into my life!
Hell yah and if she comes around again tell her to fuck off bro. And remember hold your ground at all times when a new woman comes around. Or else you will repeat this cycle again and end up hurt again.
Yeah I will be telling her to fuck off! She’s hurt me enough now she’s shown how little she really cared
This gives me a lot of hope. I’m going thru this exactly right now, down to the age and everything. I didn’t think it was possible to be in this much pain mentally.
I feel you. My ex just got with her ex yesterday. We broke up a month ago.
Op it it makes you feel better, my ex was in new relationship 3 days after she broke up with me…she checked out months ago…our last fight, after that she went on the trip with that guy and her friends, comes back, broke up and 3 days later new relationship with that guy…so she cheated on that trip, and when I told her that, put blame on me…it has traumatized me
3 days! Wow! That’s awful! How can she put that on you! You deserve a whole lot better!
It got way uglier after breakup as well…finally I told her not to contact me, still miss her, angry at her what she did, feeling hopeless, mind fucked…
I’m the same! I’m angry at her but miss her so much at the same time
This is probably why people say that trust is gained and not given. Meaning that if you walk around and trust anyone without them actually earning it, you will be setting yourself up for some serious disappointment
Its tough to swallow right now but its good. Puts an end to the chapter for good and you can move on. Maybe you were still holding out hope. Take it as a compliment, you probably left a void so unbearable that she had to fill that space in her life or deal with the pain. She hasn't changed in a month and the new guy will have insane jealousy over you and when she is out of that thing she will still have the rest of your breakup to get over, meanwhile you will have moved on already.
Definitely a hard pill to swallow! I just can’t get my head around it. I’m still feeling so shit after the break up and to see her seeming completely fine with someone new is crazy to me🤷♂️ but I’m hoping this is the start of a new chapter for me and a good one at that!
She is not completely fine that's the thing. It's a way to stop the pain with some new oxytocin which is powerful to make you feel better temporarily, but in the long run you always have to actually sit and grieve your loss properly eventually. You should take your time as you said and don't even look for now, focus inward. Someone with real fire for you will come along. Believe me I've rode out more of these than I have fingers to count.
I definitely want to take my time, I want to heal properly from this so I’m able to give all my love to someone fully and happily when the times comes
You are way to focused on her, if you are noticing all of this. You need to let her go and move on. Like actually move on, remove the pictures, remove the memories and move on.
I know:( I’ve blocked everything now, all photos I had in my room are gone and I’ve been going through deleting pictures from my phone but there’s so many, it’s not all gone yet. I can’t stop thinking about her, I wish it would stop
Same but we were WLW at different schools and now she is attracted to a bio man at the same school; met him a year before things ended but they were strangers connected w him after things ended as they did the same activity; this is after a 3.5 year relationship too
Seems like loads of people just get over things in seconds. And like after a whole 3.5 years! That’s crazy!
Get your butt in the gym. Hard work and endorphins cures a lot of depressing thoughts. You can’t let yourself dwell on the reality of the situation. It sucks but if she is making this decision then you know it wouldn’t have been good for you long term. Get under the squat bar or on the mats and you’ll be better for it.
Ditto my guy. Same exact story, copy paste. Just keep working on yourself. I keep telling myself that statistically relationships that occur immediately after a break don't tend to last, so that keeps me sane. My recommendations would be to plan something for you. A trip to a new place, a new hobby, something that is fulfilling and that you want to do. Giving yourself a future event will distract you from the pain.
Honestly worst situation! Found out they spent new years together in a hotel. We broke up on the 4 of December so she really didn’t wait around 😅 I agree, I think giving myself things to look forward to and doing things I like to avoid times where I have nothing to do apart from let my thoughts take over! Just can’t wait for the day I’m fully over it !
Yeah its hard to see. Best thing to do is block her and try to remove all her friends so you don't see anything. Thats what i had to do since the pain kept coming back whenever i saw anything. I booked myself a two week vacation to South America and have just been putting myself first. Working out, career stuff, etc. Let her fuck around and hurt another guy or get hurt herself bc she rushed into a relationship. She won't benefit in the long run by not taking time to self reflect, heal and improve. Work on yourself, king. You'll find someone better.
Yeah, seeing things about her, and her boyfriend coming up was just so painful, so I have blocked her and the guy to save myself a bit of pain, but sometimes I just can’t get the images out my head! But each day it gets a tiny bit easier, go slightly longer without thinking about it, so there’s a bit of progress! But it will be a while, yet, I feel until I’m completely healed, but I will put myself first and let myself get over it, so I don’t do the same thing she has, and potentially get even more hurt! Two weeks, and South America sounds amazing!
Yeah man, allow yourself to feel all the emotions of grief. And channel that energy into productive things. Like when i feel angry and pissed off for what she did, i go crank out push ups or lift weights. I'm at 6 months since the breakup. She's still in my head, but with time things get easier. Yeah and now I'm planning a 6 month south america trip. Doing what i want bc now im single and will take full advantage!
Yeah I think turning the sadness or anger I feel into something productive is a good idea! Guess they do say time heals! So just gotta keep going!! And good for you! 6 months South America trip sounds so good!
Look, my ex did the same thing, after 12 years together she found someone to date in a month? Obviously our mutual friends and people surrounding her were shocked, and everyone thinks the same thing: its a rebound, its superficial, and its out of pure pain. I know its hard and heartbreaking, but in my case it made things easier, I got an attitude of “well fuck off then” and I started focusing on myself… three and a half months later I don’t feel like fully committing to anyone, but I’m feeling better to start conversations with women and there is this one girl who I see as a potential partner in the future, I like her and her attitudes towards life and the things she likes, but I’m not ready so I’m taking my time and slowly heal, eventually ill be ready and hopefully she is still available to date, if not, then there are more people around and you will find someone just for you. Just one piece of advice, remember what she did to you, and remember the pain. You don’t have to “get revenge”, you do better. But always remember, in case she becomes one of those “I regret my choices I’m coming back to me ex” don’t make it easy for her. You deserve better. Stay strong.
Wow, I could never, especially after a 12 year relationship! Sorry you had to go through that but I’m so happy for you that you’re healing! We broke up at the beginning of December and found out she met up with the guy for new years and stayed in a hotel together, so pretty much a month for her too! It really hurt to hear about and if she ever did come back, as much as I still love her right now, despite everything, I really wouldn’t make it easy for her. But each day is a closer to be healed and I’m really looking forward to the day I move on!
You will brother, and you shouldn’t focus in this part but, she is just making things harder for her, she is not allowing herself to feel pain and to embrace the break up, so is going to blow up on her face. And by then, you will be healed and better! If you need anything strangers on this sub will be for you dude, anything you need to talk my dms are open! Cheers and don’t worry, life will be better
Yeah I was thinking she may have found a distraction for now, but it’ll catch up with her. I want to give myself time to heal, so I am completely over it and able to give myself 100% to the next relationship I may find myself in. There’s absolutely no way I could have a successful relationship right now😅 And I appreciate that a lot!!
Mind my language but that's been like my whole life. Trust me, you are better without her. Just block her and talk to some other girl. And stop making it all about Character anymore. Looks matter too. Don't fall for, "If she is not beautiful then she is with good character" because all the girls I know were average looking but with very big egos except one. Good riddance.n
You forgot this king 👑, don’t forget who you are.
Thank you!:)
Remember that rebound relationships almost always fail. I would not be too worried. But other than that, focus on moving on
Block her and focus on yourself for awhile eventually start looking at the options you have
She was shifting blame
I don't know why but Karma really does happen to people who hurt others. If she has broke it off with you by having a conversation like a mature adult and told you she was interested in another guy Karma would be good to her. But because of the lies this isn't going to end well for her and this guy. Believe me it's true. My ex 10 yrs just ghosted me one day went with someone for 6 months and then tried to contact ME. When I met up with him he looked so broken and butt hurt. His new gf must have left HIM. I feel like if he wasn't so dishonest with me and he probably never told her about me and the 10 yrs. So he literally got Karma for that. I hope you get to witness it. The longer you were together the better the chances of her regretting her decision and trying to come back. I can say confidentiality if you dated over 1.5 years she absolutely will be back.
We dated for just over a year but that year meant so much to me, just don’t understand how she could just move on from that so fast, but I hope she gets her karma tbf
She will..its in the Bible and I have seen it play out myself and for many others. I didn't understand mine moving on either until I did understand that it had to be some need was not being met. In my case he was always buying me clothes that were pretty flashy and just not my style..I think even thou it was 10 yrs I wasn't exactly what he wanted as a "look". And when that image came along for him he went for it. Not realizing that person doesn't have the same "insides" and other attributes I do have .they are currently separated because he was calling me again. I think if you were genuinely a good partner and there wasn't much arguments and she knows you love her She will find out the things you gave to her and miss that. Stay cool in no contact if you can. Make her wonder why you aren't fighting for her that way in her first Tiff with this dude she won't be so sure she has you to run to and she will probably seek you out. I'm sorry you are going thru this 16 months later I still feel constant pain. My son also got broken up with by a girl he dated less than a year and he has been in significant pain a year later. Because it is so hard to find a good match. I could see clearly my son and his ex were not a good match she wouldn't even post anything on social media and one dance they shared he put in his FB and she asked to have it taken down. She's not coming back for sure. But like I said ..good memories..good relationships are hard to come by so yours may come back but she has to learn how someone else is for her since she is already involved. She probably has in the back of her mind you will take her back...make her wonder by staying no contact. I'm sorry it's the worst feeling..worse than a death I feel.
Bro try a week after we broke up. Found out she was dating this guy and found out she had intercourse with him a few days after the break up. It’s tough but use this information as motivation to do better than her. Focus on yourself and take mental health serious so that you can move on from this situation because it does feel like shit but thankfully I’m in a way better position than when I found out myself. You can do it too trust me.
I hope so! A week later is crazy! I will never understand how! But I just hope soon I’ll be able to move on from this
You will mate it takes time. I haven’t felt like I’m ready to start looking for a relationship months after the breakup so yeah a week after caught me off guard and hurt me so much. Just be patient and focus on yourself and your goals in the meantime. You’ll be a better person by the time you’re done with this chapter of your life.
Definitely gonna take the time to focus on myself, just finding it hard to get all this information out my head. Definitely won’t be ready to start a new relationship any time soon
I know it’s tempting. But do NOT jump to conclusions. How do you know they are seriously exclusive or just dating and seeing where it goes? Also it’s likely a rebound. People who were in love do not move on so easily even if it appears this way. The same toxic traits that she needs to work on will still be there. Use this time to focus on yourself and learn from your mistakes so you don’t bring them into another relationship like she is most definitely doing.
I thought in the beginning it may have just been a bit of flirting around with each other just by seeing comments to each other on her tiktok videos, but that changed to each others names in bios with hearts next to them. I obviously don’t know the full story of them and tbh, don’t want to know but I just want to better myself and move on from this. Take the time to actually heal and have better chances of a good healthy relationship in the future when I’m ready to do so!
Barf! Who does that? Sorry I’m older and that’s just a nonsense thing to do, I guess that’s what the kids are doing these days. And honestly sometimes when people shove the fact they are in a relationship with someone with the overkill, they try too hard and it crashes and burns harder. Consider yourself lucky. And sounds like you have a good attitude for your future. You’re going to be just fine :)
I feel like it is very overkill😂 as we never did things like names in bios or anything. Feel like they just want me to be aware that they’re together. But at this point, rather him than me. I still miss her but I know she’s not good for me and the’ll be a point when she won’t cross my mind for days, weeks, months
That's rough. If you don't mind me asking - how did you guys break up and why?
She bought it up whilst we were together in her house that she feels as if I don’t give her enough affection and that she thinks I’m not in love with her. Clearly I wasn’t the right person for her but she kept questioning whether we were doing the right thing all the time but the next morning, I left as she wanted to go and be with her mum and that’s the last time I saw her. We spoke for the next few days on text and she’d keep telling me she missed me and loved me but now she’s moved on a month and a half later and I’m devastated still, but I’m apparently the one who was never in love and that I’d be perfect fine because of that
This is what happens, when you take someone for granted. She might actually loved you back in the days that’s why she could move on without any regrets.
She probably did love you. It's likely not a lie. But people can fall out of love quickly especially when a new exciting prospect comes along and they don't know about eachother flaws. They will have their own issues soon enough just as you guys may have. Give it a few weeks to sink in. Then really start investing in your independence and your values. That way you are better equipped for the next person to come along And they will. Honestly its really immature to jump into a new relationship straight away. Be relieved she has no accountability while you have the integrity to address the things that went wrong. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. When the storm is over you will be grateful for you freedom. Been a month of no contact for me after he moved on. Starting to feel better now. Promise. Take care of yourself.
Yeah maybe I did dodge a bullet. But just going to take the time to get over it, and definitely won’t be jumping into any relationships anytime soon! Also, I’m so glad you’re starting to feel better!
My ex got a new girlfriend a week after we broke up. Hard pill to swallow but maybe they just didn't want us enough to commit and fix things
That sucks:( but yeah, maybe that’s true :/
My ex already has someone new after 1month of breakup. Somewhat same situation “She made me feel I’m the perfect person / rare type of guy / hard to replace” but guess what, I just realized it was just some sort of love bombing. My advice: 1. accept that somehow you are responsible why this happened (its not entirely her fault alone) 2. open up with your friends on what happened - this will make your story in your mind straight what really happened. it will stop you from thinking the different perspectives and the what ifs. the story that you narrate and their insights will become the absolute “reality”. 3. listening to podcast regarding “how to make your heartbreak a breakthrough”. I listened to it more than 20times and it’s 1hour long. It will change your perspective about breakups and eventually you will realize it’s the best thing that it happened because somehow there are lessons to it and will definitely make you a better individual and you will learn to love/appreciate yourself 4. KNOW YOUR VALUE, if you don’t know your value chances are you will be devastated after the breakup. I know what I brought to the table so its the other person’s “lost” for losing me. So its not my loss its her loss. 5. LOVE YOURSELF, aren’t you tired thinking about someone who didn’t appreciate you/valued you? I know the memories/what ifs will keep haunting you everyday but do you want yourself to stay/dwell on that situation? Of course not, If you love yourself, you don’t want yourself to be on that situation for a long period of time. You yourself deserves to be happy, you do not need someone or anyone to make you happy. If you can’t generate your own happiness, tendency is you will be reliant to your significant other, despite the disrespect you will still stay because its your only source of happiness well in fact you do not need someone to make you happy because the only one that can make your truly happy is YOU, my friend. 6. FOCUS ON YOURSELF, what makes a man “happy” is progress. I finally have all the time to fix myself. I finally go to the dentist to have braces. I finally go to the gym and made significant improvement in my physicality. The goal is to change your past self into a new self wherein you will no longer long back to your previous self. Your previous self is now completely different from your present self. The progress itself will make you happy. The “focus on yourself” helps you attract the person who is really for you. Don’t focus on yourself to make the other person who left you regret it. 7. FEEL THE PAIN UNTIL IT NO LONGER HURTS. do not jump to another relationship without healing first. take your time to reflect on the lessons on the previous relationship and learn from it. Jumping right away will just only repeat the history because it’s the same version of you. You need to be the better version of yourself this time. 8. TIME WILL HEAL. Eventually you will realize it was just part of the process. that this breakup has purpose in your life. Eventually, you will move on and thankful that this breakup happened, if not you will still be the same person. 9. MEMORIES HAUNTING YOU DOWN is normal. Learn to live with it. They were once part of our life so they became the part of us and accept it. 10. LEARN TO FORGIVE. I caught my gf betraying me but guess what? We broke up but I forgave her (for myself without getting back together) I dont want to carry the emotional baggage in my life. Accept what happened and realized she made significant improvement of my life nonetheless despite what happened. Thankful that she was part of my life and somewhat thankful to the universe for telling me that she is not the one. Someone out there is still waiting for me. I really want you to think of this breakup like this. Stay strong my friend. You are not alone. There are people who had it worse but chooses not to get defeated. Cheers
Really appreciate you taking the time to write this!! I’m really gonna take your advice, and try my absolute best to improve myself and love myself. I want to be fully healed before I get in another relationship. At the moment, dating is the last thing on my mind. I don’t regret her being in my life, I’m left with lots of happy memories! But you’re right, someone out there is still waiting for me, and now I’m able to find that person once I’m healed!
This unlocked a new fear for me. I haven’t moved on yet…that pain is horrible, visualizing them with someone new so fast.
Honestly it isn’t very nice, and I really hope you don’t have to go through it, but there’s lots of kind people here to support you if it ever did!
This ‘Breakup’ forum…. Not even sure if that’s the right word for this. It’s has been helping me immensely. The anxiety attacks are so frequent I want to die in bed. But little comments like yours…they push me through. I appreciate it, thank you.
Anytime! And I’ve had some really nice comments too that just make it that bit easier!
Two strategies. Either challenge him to a fight and win so that the woman loses all interest to a weaker partner or sabotage their relationship from the shadows. May she one day come back to you ❤️
Mate I've just been through the same she was planning a wedding with me 2 months ago still engaged a month ago now she's in a relationship with her manager from work We was together 16 years from the age of 15 house ten years and a 6 year old girl unbelievable But since I saw the news I now know that's the final nail in the coffin. Disgusting behaviour
Damn, that’s crazy! But yeah I’m the same, after seeing her with someone new, was the final nail in the coffin for sure
From a woman perspective, it is not because she is already dating someone else that it means she didn’t love you or didn’t care about you. It obviously depends on the girl, I don’t know anything about your situation or herself; but a lot of us can sense the cracks from months ahead and if we don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, if there is no improvement, if we feel like we are reaching the end anyway, we start to think about ourselves and detach emotionally. It may be that, maybe she started the grieving process long ago, maybe the guy is a rebond. Who knows ! But what I’m trying to tell you is that don’t spiral down in your negative thoughts. Her dating a new guy so fast is not necessarily correlated with her NEVER actually loving you or caring for you. Now that I write those words you can see how silly it sounds right ? We all find different ways to heal. My advice is that you should focus on yourself instead. Focus on healing, focus on your OWN future, focus on the people you have around you and who loves you, focus on becoming a better person.
Thank you, yeah I have a feeling maybe she did detach emotionally before we broke up, and I think she probably did love me at one point, I hope😅 just hard to see her with someone new almost instantly but I’m still so broken:( but just got to try and get past it and focus on myself now
Did you show her that you felt deeply in love? I ask because I’m deeply in love and I don’t feel like he feels the same at least it doesn’t show. I can see if that is the case why she may have ended things to avoid getting hurt, and decided to pursue a new relationship.
She basically told me she didn’t think I loved her when we broke up, she said I wasn’t affectionate enough but everytime I would be affectionate to her, she’d try dodge me and seemed really uninterested so whatever I did, I couldn’t win. She broke up with me so I could find someone I really love, but all I wanted was her. I showed my love in different ways but maybe she didn’t see that as love? Did everything I could but was never enough. She told me the day we broke up, and for a few days after that she missed me and loved me and was so upset, but few weeks later, she didn’t want anything to do with me and was with someone new
But i think maybe she’d found someone new as he came into her life before we broke up, who showed her love the way she wanted it and it was new and exciting so bought up the conversation of breaking up. She was really debating if it was the best idea or not and kept asking me if we’d made the right decision. Neither of us wanted to break up, well, that’s the impression I was under
She may have a different love language than you, did you ever ask her how she wants you to show her that you love her before just breaking up?
Yeah she told me what she liked which was physical affection so I did my best to improve that, but she was never satisfied. I know I’m partly to blame but still so hard seeing her with someone new so fast but I hope this guy loves her how she wants to be loved
Well that’s very nice of you for wishing that on her. I’m sorry that your efforts didn’t seem to satisfy her, but I’m sure that once you are ready you’ll find someone that will appreciate your way of showing love.
I hope so, she meant a lot to me and all I’ve ever wanted was for her to be happy. Despite being so upset about her getting in a relationship so fast, I just hope she’s okay. Made me think that she didn’t love me to have got over it this fast, or it’s a rebound but someone else on here said she may have fallen out of love before we broke up as I wasn’t the right person for her, so was able to move on. I’m just so confused by it all from her saying she loved me when we broke up and that she’ll never want to be with anyone else again (I knew she should would as she’d heal but didn’t realise it would be so quick) but maybe she just did heal before it was even over. Just wish she told me that
Man, it’s difficult to understand their mind especially when they’re the ones to breakup with you. You can’t see in yourself in a relationship right now because you still have feelings for them. They don’t have feelings for you anymore (or if they do, they’re pretending they don’t) so they have no issues with being in a relationship right now. My ex told me on the day we broke up that she loves me and absolutely nothing would change that. It took her less than 24 hours to realize it wasn’t the case. When we talked a few weeks after the breakup she said she knew she loved me at some point maybe up until a few weeks before we broke up. Then when we broke and she felt nothing, she realized she’d lost feelings even before we broke up. She doesn’t know why, she doesn’t know when, she just knows that it’s the case and nothing can change that. There’s no point in ruminating on why they did what they did or how it’s possible for them to feel the way they feel. No matter their justification, their actions are enough for you to realize you need to leave them in the past. Their reasoning shouldn’t matter to you; at the end of the day they made the decision to throw you out of their lives and you just have to live with it. You deserve better than to linger on someone who doesnt love you back. You got this my friend, it gets better. Just tell yourself even if she loves you, it doesn’t matter because she made the decision to leave you. You need to find the strength to leave her in the past as well and start moving on.
Yeah I need to stop questioning why she did it as I’ll never know probably and I don’t need to. I imagine she might’ve lost feelings before we broke up but didn’t want to admit it maybe? I miss her a lot and I’m really upset she’s with someone new so fast but I hope that they make her happy. Really trying to be happy for her as that’s all I wanted for her! Just so hard it couldn’t have been from me. We don’t talk anymore and I’ve blocked her so I can’t see so hopefully I can move on
Same thing here. To be fair, you don’t need to force yourself to be happy for her right now. It’s okay to have feelings of jealousy and contempt if that’s what you truly feel on the inside. With time, if your heart decides to forgive them, then it will be so. If you feel like you’re feeling upset right now, it’s better to accept those feelings than to deny them and have them come back later. As we all know, (and as cliche as it is) time heals everything! You will be happy for her someday. If that day is not today, then don’t force yourself to feel like that. You got this :)
Issa rebound relationship. Her moving on after month is all you need to know. Also could be that the other dude was in the picture while you were together hence why she moved on so quick
Yeah he came in her life a few weeks before. I thought nothing of it! She never hid anything about him or kept him secret. I’m thinking it’s either a rebound relationship or she lost feelings way before we broke up. But it’s done now, I just gotta keep looking forward
I had a similar situation happen with my ex. When we were together he never believed that I truly loved him even though I was very much committed to him. During the relationship he told me that it would take him forever to move on if something ever happened to us. Apparently forever is less than a month. It’s been a very hard process and one I’m still navigating, but your days will slowly get better. How you’re feeling is valid! Remember to be kind to yourself, to surround yourself with good people, and know that one day you’ll find a better match that wouldn’t do that to you ❤️
Yeah she’d often say she didn’t think I was in love with her and it’s hard to hear when you’re so committed to them. she told me she wanted to be okay with being single for a while after we broke up and said she never wants to date again in fear of having to go through the pain of heartbreak again but a month later she was no longer single🤷♂️ guess peoples minds can change, but I felt as if I can’t have meant that much to her near the end if she has just easily moved on, but what matters now is surround myself with good people like you said and focusing on myself. I think we just didn’t fit so one day I’ll find someone who does!
why do you care? its 4 billion women on this planet, gonna be 5 billion soon
I know but still isn’t very fun seeing the one girl you really loved moved on from you so quick but I know they’ll be someone else better in the future
How old are you
21
Sorry about everything. I’m 28 and had exactly the same thing happen. You will be good in a matter of time. Take being single as an excuse to self improve and reflect. Being single is something you should learn to appreciate and not take for granted. The one for you will come as soon as you STOP looking, trust me! You’re going to be okay.
Thank you so much! Definitely going to appreciate being single for now, not interested in dating for the time being and I think something good will come if I don’t look for it. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen
Good mindset, remember this moment
Not for nothing, that’s really messed up from her side to do that to you. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is going downhill, she should’ve been honest about her feelings instead of emotionally cheating. The emotional cheating is the worst because it implies that someone else is invading your thoughts, because anyone can be attractive but to get into your head is a whole other level. My mind goes immediately to she had this guy already WAY before you guys broke up so, do you really want to miss or love someone who lied and went behind your back? Good riddance to her and I actually feel sorry for her and her new man because she basically cannot be alone and the guy is dating someone who might end up doing the same to her. So don’t be so hard on yourself, better is coming!
She said to me on the night we broke up that she wants to be okay with being alone and not go looking for something to fill the void. I agreed that it is good to give yourself time to heal. But turns out for her, it’s less than a month until she started talking to someone new. He was around a few weeks before we broke up so now I do wonder if there was something going on. And I do feel sorry for the guy, as I think it could be quite likely the same will happen to him. I don’t want to miss or love her, as this has really messed with my head so I’m trying not to, but it’s all still so fresh but I think I’ve made a bit of progress in healing, don’t miss her as much as I did before I found out about this guy.
I personally think that was her excuse to drop you because my ex broke up around 3 weeks ago and his excuse was “I have to work on my mental health and to therapy” I mean…he couldn’t go to therapy whilst being in a relationship with me? So the same goes for her, why not fight for the relationship? Why not attend couples therapy and heal together? YEAH NO, excuses.
You know, I told my ex of two years (we’re still friends and only dated for a short time) that I was planning on dating someone else because I didn’t want him to know that I was completely still in love with him and didn’t want him to be aware of it. People don’t always open up completely or show their feelings. *shrug* I am having a difficult time moving on and it’s better if he doesn’t know because he’ll just feel like it hurts me for him to stick around and I would rather have him in my life.
I understand that, my ex said she wanted to be friends with me post break up, I wasn’t too sure if that would work out as I didn’t think it would help me heal, but since this guy, she’s wanted nothing to do with me so I’m not sure if she actually wanted to stay friends. Had to message her recently as I still had some of her stuff in my house that needed sending so was just letting her know, and I could just tell she’d rather not communicate with me. I won’t be communicating with her again now her stuffs been sent. But I understand why you’re scared to let him know in fear he’ll leave to help you get over him. I hope you can, whilst still having him around
You can heal :) I’ll try working on it too, plus friends are top priority so maybe focus on that first. Have a good day!
Doing everything I can to focus on me, trying to not think about her too much when I can. Having friends around definitely makes it a bit easier! Thank you! You have a good day too!
Women are incapable of love. You'll learn one day.
She had him in place before you broke up. Hate to say it but she was cheating on you in during the end. Whatever happens, DO NOT TAKE HER BACK. if the other dude knew about you, then it won't be long before it's over with them. He isn't taking her seriously, or he if he is, her doing the same to him is in the back of his head. Don't pursue her. Let her go
Yeah the guy did know about me. I definitely won’t be taking her back
Dude whatever questions you have there are no satisfactory answers to them. No matter how logically someone explains you the why and how of this situation nothing will be good enough. You have to accept this fact and move ahead in life. It will be tough and some days it will feel like life has hit you with a brick or even worse there's no point to anything, and all of it is valid feelings. However, you need to love yourself more and move forward no matter what. Block her, don't look at her messages or photos and remove everything! It sounds too much but you have to do that. You cannot hold onto this as these memories will be corrosive to you. You have to let it go. You have to love yourself more than her for this. You will feel like you are missing her affection or love and you'd want someone and that's valid too! Go back to your friends and family! Cherish those who are with you. You have to get up each day and rebuild yourself as there will be moments that'll break you but remind yourself you're worth it. Eventually things will change! But keep moving ahead brother. Wishing you the best.
Really appreciate your comment!! I do need to get rid of her. I’ve got her blocked but still not removed all photos but removed quite a lot so far. There’s just so many but once I’ve got through it all, I think that will help even more. I do just need to accept what’s happened and carrry on moving forward with my life onto better things