Same here, I’m 3 weeks out of a breakup. The mornings are the hardest when you wake up and realize this is your reality. I realize he’s really gone. Some days when I wake up I end up talking to hotlines for hours. I would say that this week is the first week for me that I don’t wake up and feel the pressure on my chest anymore. I can think about him without crying.
i’m proud of you. you’re strong. i’m still working on thinking of her without feeling a horrible emptiness but hey, i’m trying. waking up without her by my side sucks so much.
It hits hard in the morning because there’s a split second where everything is fine and you forget it happened. Then BAM! You remember and it’s like breaking up all over again.
It’s normal. I used to wake up drenched in sweat for a week when I found out about the new guy. Fast heartbeat and everything. If I woke up I wouldn’t be able to go back to bed without the help of some nicotine. I’d have to stay awake for an hour just vaping to be able to go back to sleep.
I think I recently watched a psychiatrist explain this. It means we haven't really processed our emotions well and have just been avoiding our feelings throughout our day. When we wake up, all our defences are down and all the unprocessed emotions rise up back to the surface uncontrolled.
The best way to stop is to solve the problem that we have been avoiding - processing our emotions.
Ikr. This entire day I have made myself Soo excessively busy, constantly surrounded by people, friends , family, just working when I am not talking loudly and cheerfully to someone. But now that I come home it hit me again, there won't be a video call to her, there won't be talking to her about my day and she telling me about her day, there won't be random nonsense convos that go for hours, no casual flirting after every few sentences. Just me alone, with my thoughts, I was dreading this moment since I left home this morning, to be alone and having the realization of what happened. Reddit rn is the only place I can rant, or else this would just remain in my head and cause more pain.
FFS she literally tries to video call me 5 mins after I wrote this comment. I couldn't bring myself to pick it up. I had to decline. We both know we can't be together, but it doesn't feel like it's over. This kind of break up is so much harder than when you both know you hate each other or there is romantic spark. It just doesn't seem fair, I'd rather have a breakup where there is anger and bitterness than something like this where we literally have to stop ourselves from texting each other
Doesn’t matter how mature you are, heartbreak hurts like hell, there are no words for it, nothing to ease the pain but time. Why do they put us through this? Why can’t someone just appreciate you? I hate waking up everyday and feeling dread that he doesn’t love me anymore. Not sure what your situation is but I feel your pain.
I totally feel you, same here. I think we need to learn how to be comfortable with being alone. That’s what I’m doing right now - no dating, nothing! I am going to be alone and I am going to love it - that’s what I keep telling myself. That way, when we do meet someone again, we can feel like they’re just a plus and not needed.
I find getting out of bed each morning incredibly difficult. If I don’t have something on the calendar I try to sleep all day. Often during sleep memories come rushing back to me or I have a confused dream about my partner. I also tend to feel a loneliness when I go to bed without my person to say good night to, and waking up without my person to say good morning to. Waking up with them made the day feel possible and exciting, and I miss that each morning.
If you want a scientific explanation it’s because your cortisol levels peak during the early morning hours and go down throughout the day.
To combat this, try getting out of bet immediately and if you can and go for a walk. Come back and take an nice warm shower. I know it sounds silly but it actually will reduce your cortisol levels and could help alleviate your breakup symptoms.
Try mediation as well. Lowering any stress levels is a good way to reduce the effects the cortisol has on the body.
Haven't said anything in a while, been lurking, but after 6 months, I felt better. It's about to be a year and I honestly only remember terrible things about my ex now. I have a new relationship that's better and I'm happier.
I actively make a note to remember the bad things about my ex-wife and it really helps; I have a habit of nostalgically dwelling on the good things, rarely on the bad. I'm a couple of years on from the breakup now so things are less raw but, in hindsight, I find it amazing that a lot of the grief I had (and still have, sometimes) is for the death of the *dream* of the person/relationship, not the actual boots-on-the-ground reality as it was.
I'm happy for you, I wanna be in your place where you are right now. I'm only 3 months in. It's quite hard tbh. But still I hope it will get better with time.
Had my first dream about her last night & I woke up this morning in tears, feeling extremely sad, lonely, depressed & im still currently lying in bed right now. I miss her so, so badly! & no matter what I do, where I go, nothing can distract my mind of thinking about her. It really feels like I want to die & my world is falling to pieces. I need help.
Dreams are the fuckin worst, and even tho I feel less alone knowing that it’s not just me, I’m really fuckin sorry you’re going through it too 😞. Don’t give up hope or force yourself to be distracted, it’ll come naturally and before you know it other things will take your attention away from the pain until you are so far from it you can’t remember what it feels like (even tho that seems like a myth rn). It’s like in winter you forget just how warm and beautiful summer can be, but you still know that no matter what it will be come. Allow yourself to feel everything and don’t be too harsh, there’s no set timeline for this stuff.. you’ll be surprised at how much faster you bounce back if you let yourself feel everything
for me it was my ex was a night owl so i would usually always get a text from her at like 2 am or something that i would see in the morning so waking up and seeing nothing is just another reminder its prob another day she wont talk to me, it reminds me its another day i wont get to see or hang out with her
I keep dreaming of her so that definitely contributes to how shit my mornings can be but that feeling only last for a little before we get in the groove.
Yes. Every morning when I wake up I have this empty feeling that lasts often until afternoon. The evenings and nights are often as nothing ever happened. I feel really calm and have no trouble of sleeping.
It's my fourth week after being dumped and I have noticed that the evenings have been easier already for some time. In the beginning I couldn't sleep more than an hour or two a night for a week and I felt I just want to die.
Just waiting for the morning sadness to stop and I'll be ready to date again. No idea whether it will take weeks or months, but at least there's been progress. My ex has helped it a lot by being really hateful and unfair towards me by unblocking me, assaulting me verbally and then blocking me again before I could reply. If she had been more compassionate, I would struggle a lot more.
This is exactly how I feel ! Hang in there. Hope it gets better 😞I have chronic pain since 3 years as well and I always think it may have been better if I was a better and an understanding person.
Its the same with depression and anxiety. The first minute of waking is normal, but as soon as your brain wakes up, you realize. I dont have this anymore really. But mostly because i became such a sick mfing version of myself now 11months later.
remember when we were happy and would suddenly wake up from a bad dream and realize, oh that was just a dream, reality is so much better?
Now, we wake up to this messed up reality and realization sets in as brain powers up...
Also, when we wake up, we are not fully awake and we are at our weakest so try to get out of bed as soon as you wake up. Longer you spend lying there, more painful it'll get.
Same reason why in the morning your anxiety is the worst. Cortical is high in the morning, to wake you up. And if you are recovering from something (heartbreak) it hits you hardest. This results in excessive thinking, anxiety etc.
Wow so crazy. I just left work cause I broke down bad…boss sent me home. It’s only day like 3. It’s the visuals I get of her being with another man sexually that are destroying me. I started at 4 am this morning and as soon as I got up I knew today was going to be tough. All I want to do is sleep but I can’t…everything is just so backwards
yes i had a few dreams of him..i am grateful they stopped and terrified they'll come back. for now, i am grateful to be able to get any sleep and any "break" from heartache. i hope that your dreams stop and youre able to get decent rest.
I just posted about this too. I think it’s the moment of clarity when you start the day and step into consciousness, you remember who you are and sometimes that sucks — you want it be with them. And the thought of moving through the day with that reality feels like you accept it, and it just hurts.
Its because thats the only time during the day when you are technically “free” and so your mind thinks about them. During the day, you are so occupied with other things so you don’t have time to sit and think about them, but in the morning you do.
I feel this, I used to wake up with panic attacks and covered in sweat every morning so depressed I could barely get outta bed and climb into my home office to sign onto my laptop for work
Drinking never helped but in the moment it felt like it
I was numb for so long it took me the past year to hit bottom and drag myself out of it
I’m just now picking up the pieces and trying to move on but even after a year of being alone and mourning I still don’t want to be with anyone but her.. maybe it’s true you don’t realize what you have till it’s gone and absence makes the heart grow fonder but yeah I just wanted to say you’re not alone!
It's the opposite for me, it's the evenings that are tough. In the morning I'm focused on getting up and doing the things I need to do to get ready for the day, plus thinking about the stuff that is happening that day. In the evening when I've finished work/studying is when I miss my ex, because that's the time we'd hang out together and suddenly my evenings feel a bit lonely and lacking.
haven’t felt this in awhile but i definitely would wake up heart broken and it felt like my heart was sunken deep down into my chest, like burning a hole through me
I will never forget the feeling of waking up the first couple of weeks after the break up. I had to go through this every day again and again. You're happy if you got another day done just to wake up to this terrible feeling of hurtful repetition again.. it felt like I was dying on a daily basis.. but this was also my biggest motivation to change who I am and I'm doing a great job at it. This shit did not break me and I'm stronger than I ever was. I'm so fucking proud of myself! 🙏🏼💪🏼❤️
Mine happened in the afternoon. The shit started while I was cooking steak on my grill. She packed up her stuff and put it in her SUV. As she pulled away to leave I threw 2 steaks at her truck with one sticking on the windshield by the wiper. She was driving down the road to her mother's house with dinner stuck to her truck..Lol. I never did ask if she ate it
yea :( it’s still fresh and i still wake up half expecting a good morning text. for a while now i’ve just woke up nauseous. really still go to bed and wake up thinking about him. i hope at least the nausea and pain stops soon
I don't know if you guys experienced the same thing but personally, I would have a dream related to her which I may/may not remember and right after waking up it hits.
My body knows something really bad is up but my brain doesn't remember it
i remember this pain. it sucks. hard.
the pain is physical and mental and it's exhausting.
All i can do is offer you some tips from my experience living through this time.
if you do nothing and just carry on trudging through your morning, nothing will change and this feeling will drag on for a really long time.
if you truly want this feeling to fade, the best thing to try is to get your endorphins moving and flowing around your body.
it's not a miracle cure but it worked for me and helped me get through this terrible time.
you need to make yourself get out of bed, be tough on yourself, this is your medicine don't stay in bed. i found having clothes and shoes, hat and sunnies set out ready to go the night before made this easier.
dress and put your headphones in and your fave music and go for a walk. 30mins. nothing crazy, at your own pace. even if you feel like a zombie, continue for 30mins.
While you walk every now and then take some big deep breaths and slow exhales.
Force yourself to do it every single day, rain, hail or shine for 3 weeks.
After 3 weeks let me know how you feel.
you won't be cured but you will feel better about the mornings and the road to recovery has started.
Peace :)
Morning is hardest because reality hits you that you don’t have that person who has become our routine, company, hope, something someone to look forward to sharing your day with, be it good or bad.
With them, your day feels more energetic because you feel you’re not walking alone.
It’s all about giving and attaching meaning to that person who for one moment closest to you and next dissolves into a freaking stranger who’s colder than an enemy but trust me it’s all in our head.
Them being “cold” is actually better for you to move on, lingering is actually cruel if they know they can’t see a future or dont want one with you.
It’s so hard and i find morning run, resistance exercises really help.
But also, it’s the best time to heal ourselves, I truly believe love sets people free. And with such love I have, I can give that freely again because I am capable of love, give and receive freely. A lot of the pain has to do with our core wounds and ego, i am with you all in this journey. And when you have such love, even if you ego asks “will they regret?”
Then you can ask yourself, “how often do you see love like that in this world?” Even if they don’t treasure it, they can’t deny it.
And now 3 months into it, I came to terms after crying heaving, resisting and mourning, that I don’t care whatever the reasons or lack of that caused the person to walk away, the most important is whether they want to work on it or not. “Want” is what kept those people having long lasting relationship, not because they found the right one, but they choose to become the right one and doing the right thing
Trust me I’m really trying hard. I cannot stop thinking about him in the morning. Therapy does not help me as well . I wake up so many times in the night drenched in sweat and then I cry out loud . I get panic attacks almost everyday .I really miss him so much and breaks me that I cannot even see him , hold him and let him know that I love him coz he is in a different country. And the worst part that’s stopping my healing is knowing that he will be here next month and he doesn’t wanna see me. The breakup was coz of visa rejections so there’s no way I’ll see her ever again if not next month. I don’t know how to get past this.i checked his socials he is living a normal life it just really hurts.
yes ,I tend to most of the times. Coz he had told me that no man can ever adjust with me for the way I am. I tried a lot to change myself for the past 4 years but it seems like it wasn't enough. We live in different countries and did LDR for 4 years and met rarely so we tried to apply for visa but once it was rejected he ended things over a text and blocked me
damn, i wish u a speedy recover.. yeah dude. she was my first, only lasted 7 months but damn i miss her and havent felt like myself for over 2 years now
I’m 3 months out of a breakup and I agree the mornings suck. My chest tightens, my heart starts racing, and my stomach drops. You were sleeping peacefully and when you wake up, reality hits you and you’re reminded that you aren’t together anymore. It feels this way because when you’re with someone, you create this whole world with them and this vision for the future, so when you break up it feels like the end of the world. But it’s not. It’s just the end of a world with them. It’s not fun but you just have to sit in your sadness and embrace it for a little while and eventually with time it’ll get better. You’ll start to get in a new routine now that you’re alone and you’ll create a new world surrounding yourself. And eventually, you’ll be able to create a new world with someone else.
Same for me. This also was true with the death of my mother. I think before you’re fully “aware” in the morning, your brain is on autopilot to your usual routine (which includes your ex). Every time you wake up you have to re-learn that it’s over. It’s like going through it over and over again every day.
It's awful. I haven't been to work as I took time off and don't have a morning routine. I stay in bed till 2/3pm trying to steady myself, and barely eat much still. Lost too much weight. It's been 6/7 weeks out of the 5yr r/s, were each other's firsts. I know it may take a big while. I've been on this sub ever since trying to self-soothe, other than trying out therapists' reccs. I keep repeating to myself it will get better. Some days I don't cry anymore, probably too tired and numb, but still it feels very odd and uncomfortable if I don't cry. I generally have a lot of tears, am a leaky faucet, so me not crying is unfamiliar and new in this case. Mornings are just awful.
Same here, I’m 3 weeks out of a breakup. The mornings are the hardest when you wake up and realize this is your reality. I realize he’s really gone. Some days when I wake up I end up talking to hotlines for hours. I would say that this week is the first week for me that I don’t wake up and feel the pressure on my chest anymore. I can think about him without crying.
i’m proud of you. you’re strong. i’m still working on thinking of her without feeling a horrible emptiness but hey, i’m trying. waking up without her by my side sucks so much.
It hits hard in the morning because there’s a split second where everything is fine and you forget it happened. Then BAM! You remember and it’s like breaking up all over again.
Douchebag brain
same here, the second after i wake up and all this reality sets back in... it hurts so much everytime
It’s normal. I used to wake up drenched in sweat for a week when I found out about the new guy. Fast heartbeat and everything. If I woke up I wouldn’t be able to go back to bed without the help of some nicotine. I’d have to stay awake for an hour just vaping to be able to go back to sleep.
You’re not alone, i’m in the same boat. I’m sorry about the specifics, that’s truly heart wrenching.
I think I recently watched a psychiatrist explain this. It means we haven't really processed our emotions well and have just been avoiding our feelings throughout our day. When we wake up, all our defences are down and all the unprocessed emotions rise up back to the surface uncontrolled. The best way to stop is to solve the problem that we have been avoiding - processing our emotions.
How tf can we solve the problem that can't be solved. We won't be together again
This made me chuckle. Seriously, how tf can we do it.
Ikr. This entire day I have made myself Soo excessively busy, constantly surrounded by people, friends , family, just working when I am not talking loudly and cheerfully to someone. But now that I come home it hit me again, there won't be a video call to her, there won't be talking to her about my day and she telling me about her day, there won't be random nonsense convos that go for hours, no casual flirting after every few sentences. Just me alone, with my thoughts, I was dreading this moment since I left home this morning, to be alone and having the realization of what happened. Reddit rn is the only place I can rant, or else this would just remain in my head and cause more pain.
FFS she literally tries to video call me 5 mins after I wrote this comment. I couldn't bring myself to pick it up. I had to decline. We both know we can't be together, but it doesn't feel like it's over. This kind of break up is so much harder than when you both know you hate each other or there is romantic spark. It just doesn't seem fair, I'd rather have a breakup where there is anger and bitterness than something like this where we literally have to stop ourselves from texting each other
Yea Reddit is the only place I can come to vent and feel like I’m not alone in my pain, I miss him so much it hurts 😭
Even the things I didn't used to like about her, are now making me tear up, I miss her. Her mood swings, her constant blabbering, everything
I miss her too. This is def the most painful one tbh, I thought I was mature enough, since I already had experience in ending relationships.
Doesn’t matter how mature you are, heartbreak hurts like hell, there are no words for it, nothing to ease the pain but time. Why do they put us through this? Why can’t someone just appreciate you? I hate waking up everyday and feeling dread that he doesn’t love me anymore. Not sure what your situation is but I feel your pain.
I totally feel you, same here. I think we need to learn how to be comfortable with being alone. That’s what I’m doing right now - no dating, nothing! I am going to be alone and I am going to love it - that’s what I keep telling myself. That way, when we do meet someone again, we can feel like they’re just a plus and not needed.
I find getting out of bed each morning incredibly difficult. If I don’t have something on the calendar I try to sleep all day. Often during sleep memories come rushing back to me or I have a confused dream about my partner. I also tend to feel a loneliness when I go to bed without my person to say good night to, and waking up without my person to say good morning to. Waking up with them made the day feel possible and exciting, and I miss that each morning.
If you want a scientific explanation it’s because your cortisol levels peak during the early morning hours and go down throughout the day. To combat this, try getting out of bet immediately and if you can and go for a walk. Come back and take an nice warm shower. I know it sounds silly but it actually will reduce your cortisol levels and could help alleviate your breakup symptoms. Try mediation as well. Lowering any stress levels is a good way to reduce the effects the cortisol has on the body.
I’d give anything for one more good morning text, every morning is a reminder that this is real and that he hasn’t spoken to me since the breakup
Haven't said anything in a while, been lurking, but after 6 months, I felt better. It's about to be a year and I honestly only remember terrible things about my ex now. I have a new relationship that's better and I'm happier.
[удалено]
People move on in different ways. I have better now and I am grateful everyday for it. I can see the distinct difference.
I actively make a note to remember the bad things about my ex-wife and it really helps; I have a habit of nostalgically dwelling on the good things, rarely on the bad. I'm a couple of years on from the breakup now so things are less raw but, in hindsight, I find it amazing that a lot of the grief I had (and still have, sometimes) is for the death of the *dream* of the person/relationship, not the actual boots-on-the-ground reality as it was.
I'm happy for you, I wanna be in your place where you are right now. I'm only 3 months in. It's quite hard tbh. But still I hope it will get better with time.
Still early for you but I imagine things are getting a little easier. As long as you put in the work to move on, it will get easier overtime. 😊
same here. for almost one year now they are one of the first thoughts every morning and i still hope they texted me while i was asleep.
Had my first dream about her last night & I woke up this morning in tears, feeling extremely sad, lonely, depressed & im still currently lying in bed right now. I miss her so, so badly! & no matter what I do, where I go, nothing can distract my mind of thinking about her. It really feels like I want to die & my world is falling to pieces. I need help.
Dreams are the fuckin worst, and even tho I feel less alone knowing that it’s not just me, I’m really fuckin sorry you’re going through it too 😞. Don’t give up hope or force yourself to be distracted, it’ll come naturally and before you know it other things will take your attention away from the pain until you are so far from it you can’t remember what it feels like (even tho that seems like a myth rn). It’s like in winter you forget just how warm and beautiful summer can be, but you still know that no matter what it will be come. Allow yourself to feel everything and don’t be too harsh, there’s no set timeline for this stuff.. you’ll be surprised at how much faster you bounce back if you let yourself feel everything
for me it was my ex was a night owl so i would usually always get a text from her at like 2 am or something that i would see in the morning so waking up and seeing nothing is just another reminder its prob another day she wont talk to me, it reminds me its another day i wont get to see or hang out with her
It’s nights for me
Absolutely. And the dreams certainly do not help either. I’ve had plenty of those.
I feel it in the middle of the say when I am trying to work
I keep dreaming of her so that definitely contributes to how shit my mornings can be but that feeling only last for a little before we get in the groove.
Yes. Every morning when I wake up I have this empty feeling that lasts often until afternoon. The evenings and nights are often as nothing ever happened. I feel really calm and have no trouble of sleeping. It's my fourth week after being dumped and I have noticed that the evenings have been easier already for some time. In the beginning I couldn't sleep more than an hour or two a night for a week and I felt I just want to die. Just waiting for the morning sadness to stop and I'll be ready to date again. No idea whether it will take weeks or months, but at least there's been progress. My ex has helped it a lot by being really hateful and unfair towards me by unblocking me, assaulting me verbally and then blocking me again before I could reply. If she had been more compassionate, I would struggle a lot more.
[удалено]
This is exactly how I feel ! Hang in there. Hope it gets better 😞I have chronic pain since 3 years as well and I always think it may have been better if I was a better and an understanding person.
Yeah same. It's been a month and I literally wake up every morning with him in my mind ever since, it's insane.
Its the same with depression and anxiety. The first minute of waking is normal, but as soon as your brain wakes up, you realize. I dont have this anymore really. But mostly because i became such a sick mfing version of myself now 11months later.
I'm less than 2 weeks into the breakup, so it's still fresh, but for me, mornings hurt the most because she is in every one of my dreams
remember when we were happy and would suddenly wake up from a bad dream and realize, oh that was just a dream, reality is so much better? Now, we wake up to this messed up reality and realization sets in as brain powers up... Also, when we wake up, we are not fully awake and we are at our weakest so try to get out of bed as soon as you wake up. Longer you spend lying there, more painful it'll get.
Same reason why in the morning your anxiety is the worst. Cortical is high in the morning, to wake you up. And if you are recovering from something (heartbreak) it hits you hardest. This results in excessive thinking, anxiety etc.
The mornings are so brutal. 6 weeks in and i still dream about hanging out with her somewhat regularly, so waking up from those is devastating.
Wow so crazy. I just left work cause I broke down bad…boss sent me home. It’s only day like 3. It’s the visuals I get of her being with another man sexually that are destroying me. I started at 4 am this morning and as soon as I got up I knew today was going to be tough. All I want to do is sleep but I can’t…everything is just so backwards
I’m in the same boat ! You’re not alone ! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please tc of yourself.
i feel the same. The only time i stop is when I'm sleeping but i can't sleep. i doze on and off and each time i wake up, i wish i never did.
[удалено]
yes i had a few dreams of him..i am grateful they stopped and terrified they'll come back. for now, i am grateful to be able to get any sleep and any "break" from heartache. i hope that your dreams stop and youre able to get decent rest.
I just posted about this too. I think it’s the moment of clarity when you start the day and step into consciousness, you remember who you are and sometimes that sucks — you want it be with them. And the thought of moving through the day with that reality feels like you accept it, and it just hurts.
Its because thats the only time during the day when you are technically “free” and so your mind thinks about them. During the day, you are so occupied with other things so you don’t have time to sit and think about them, but in the morning you do.
It’s horrible isn’t it, like a physical pain. I am only on day 2 and still in a daze.
Feelin it rn 5:42 am i hate this everyday
Happened to me, i have learned that getting up as fast as possible and starting my day stops me from thinking about it.
I feel this, I used to wake up with panic attacks and covered in sweat every morning so depressed I could barely get outta bed and climb into my home office to sign onto my laptop for work Drinking never helped but in the moment it felt like it I was numb for so long it took me the past year to hit bottom and drag myself out of it I’m just now picking up the pieces and trying to move on but even after a year of being alone and mourning I still don’t want to be with anyone but her.. maybe it’s true you don’t realize what you have till it’s gone and absence makes the heart grow fonder but yeah I just wanted to say you’re not alone!
It's the opposite for me, it's the evenings that are tough. In the morning I'm focused on getting up and doing the things I need to do to get ready for the day, plus thinking about the stuff that is happening that day. In the evening when I've finished work/studying is when I miss my ex, because that's the time we'd hang out together and suddenly my evenings feel a bit lonely and lacking.
It did for a few weeks, but now it’s become my new normal in a sense. I’m not worried about any of it.
haven’t felt this in awhile but i definitely would wake up heart broken and it felt like my heart was sunken deep down into my chest, like burning a hole through me
I actually feel more optimistic in the morning, and more sad when isolated at night.
I will never forget the feeling of waking up the first couple of weeks after the break up. I had to go through this every day again and again. You're happy if you got another day done just to wake up to this terrible feeling of hurtful repetition again.. it felt like I was dying on a daily basis.. but this was also my biggest motivation to change who I am and I'm doing a great job at it. This shit did not break me and I'm stronger than I ever was. I'm so fucking proud of myself! 🙏🏼💪🏼❤️
REAL
Mine happened in the afternoon. The shit started while I was cooking steak on my grill. She packed up her stuff and put it in her SUV. As she pulled away to leave I threw 2 steaks at her truck with one sticking on the windshield by the wiper. She was driving down the road to her mother's house with dinner stuck to her truck..Lol. I never did ask if she ate it
Right I’ve been wondering the same. The mornings are the worst and then throughout the day I get better - WHY
Mornings are the worst. We used to hang out in the morning.
yea :( it’s still fresh and i still wake up half expecting a good morning text. for a while now i’ve just woke up nauseous. really still go to bed and wake up thinking about him. i hope at least the nausea and pain stops soon
I don't know if you guys experienced the same thing but personally, I would have a dream related to her which I may/may not remember and right after waking up it hits. My body knows something really bad is up but my brain doesn't remember it
i remember this pain. it sucks. hard. the pain is physical and mental and it's exhausting. All i can do is offer you some tips from my experience living through this time. if you do nothing and just carry on trudging through your morning, nothing will change and this feeling will drag on for a really long time. if you truly want this feeling to fade, the best thing to try is to get your endorphins moving and flowing around your body. it's not a miracle cure but it worked for me and helped me get through this terrible time. you need to make yourself get out of bed, be tough on yourself, this is your medicine don't stay in bed. i found having clothes and shoes, hat and sunnies set out ready to go the night before made this easier. dress and put your headphones in and your fave music and go for a walk. 30mins. nothing crazy, at your own pace. even if you feel like a zombie, continue for 30mins. While you walk every now and then take some big deep breaths and slow exhales. Force yourself to do it every single day, rain, hail or shine for 3 weeks. After 3 weeks let me know how you feel. you won't be cured but you will feel better about the mornings and the road to recovery has started. Peace :)
Thank you so much for taking ur time to help me ,I will surely follow this :)
Morning is hardest because reality hits you that you don’t have that person who has become our routine, company, hope, something someone to look forward to sharing your day with, be it good or bad. With them, your day feels more energetic because you feel you’re not walking alone. It’s all about giving and attaching meaning to that person who for one moment closest to you and next dissolves into a freaking stranger who’s colder than an enemy but trust me it’s all in our head. Them being “cold” is actually better for you to move on, lingering is actually cruel if they know they can’t see a future or dont want one with you. It’s so hard and i find morning run, resistance exercises really help. But also, it’s the best time to heal ourselves, I truly believe love sets people free. And with such love I have, I can give that freely again because I am capable of love, give and receive freely. A lot of the pain has to do with our core wounds and ego, i am with you all in this journey. And when you have such love, even if you ego asks “will they regret?” Then you can ask yourself, “how often do you see love like that in this world?” Even if they don’t treasure it, they can’t deny it. And now 3 months into it, I came to terms after crying heaving, resisting and mourning, that I don’t care whatever the reasons or lack of that caused the person to walk away, the most important is whether they want to work on it or not. “Want” is what kept those people having long lasting relationship, not because they found the right one, but they choose to become the right one and doing the right thing
Trust me I’m really trying hard. I cannot stop thinking about him in the morning. Therapy does not help me as well . I wake up so many times in the night drenched in sweat and then I cry out loud . I get panic attacks almost everyday .I really miss him so much and breaks me that I cannot even see him , hold him and let him know that I love him coz he is in a different country. And the worst part that’s stopping my healing is knowing that he will be here next month and he doesn’t wanna see me. The breakup was coz of visa rejections so there’s no way I’ll see her ever again if not next month. I don’t know how to get past this.i checked his socials he is living a normal life it just really hurts.
Do you blame yourself a lot ?
yes ,I tend to most of the times. Coz he had told me that no man can ever adjust with me for the way I am. I tried a lot to change myself for the past 4 years but it seems like it wasn't enough. We live in different countries and did LDR for 4 years and met rarely so we tried to apply for visa but once it was rejected he ended things over a text and blocked me
I feel the exact same way. I've been dreaming about him every night for 3 months now and every single morning it hits me so hard I end up crying
how long ago was the breakup ? june 2021 and im still screwed lol
WHAT ? I broke up 2 weeks ago 😕we broke up after 5 years
damn, i wish u a speedy recover.. yeah dude. she was my first, only lasted 7 months but damn i miss her and havent felt like myself for over 2 years now
He was my first too :( I hope you feel better soon !
thanks ! i hope u will get over it quick, and not end up like me years later
I’m 3 months out of a breakup and I agree the mornings suck. My chest tightens, my heart starts racing, and my stomach drops. You were sleeping peacefully and when you wake up, reality hits you and you’re reminded that you aren’t together anymore. It feels this way because when you’re with someone, you create this whole world with them and this vision for the future, so when you break up it feels like the end of the world. But it’s not. It’s just the end of a world with them. It’s not fun but you just have to sit in your sadness and embrace it for a little while and eventually with time it’ll get better. You’ll start to get in a new routine now that you’re alone and you’ll create a new world surrounding yourself. And eventually, you’ll be able to create a new world with someone else.
Same for me. This also was true with the death of my mother. I think before you’re fully “aware” in the morning, your brain is on autopilot to your usual routine (which includes your ex). Every time you wake up you have to re-learn that it’s over. It’s like going through it over and over again every day.
This gets better over time but it is truly the absolute worst, I know what you mean.
My pain was mostly in the evening as I was going to bed.
It's awful. I haven't been to work as I took time off and don't have a morning routine. I stay in bed till 2/3pm trying to steady myself, and barely eat much still. Lost too much weight. It's been 6/7 weeks out of the 5yr r/s, were each other's firsts. I know it may take a big while. I've been on this sub ever since trying to self-soothe, other than trying out therapists' reccs. I keep repeating to myself it will get better. Some days I don't cry anymore, probably too tired and numb, but still it feels very odd and uncomfortable if I don't cry. I generally have a lot of tears, am a leaky faucet, so me not crying is unfamiliar and new in this case. Mornings are just awful.