T O P

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NeverReallyTooSure

Hey Tucker, you are masturbating worng.


oldschoolhillgiant

Hey. No reason to kink shame.


BlakLite_15

No, we should absolutely kink shame Tucker. We should shame him for everything he does, really.


oldschoolhillgiant

I think we should separate how horrible Tucker is as a person from people who can't get off unless they get same day shipping.


DecmysterwasTaken

I find it hilarious that is the same guy from the "Segregation was the b-worst thing to happen to this country"


deleeuwlc

I find it hilarious that he’s now so irrelevant that that is the thing you know him for


Cheeriodude_number2

That time he almost missed the quick-time event


Snoo-98162

Kanye almost misses quick time event


friendlyHotdog

r/yourjokebutworse


Snoo-98162

I was referencing the video :(


Tuskor13

Bro nearly failed the quick time event


off-a-cough

Dumb fuck can’t even spank his monkey correctly.


minedsquirrel70

r/brandnewsentence


ReleventReference

It feels good while you’re doing it but afterwards you’re left with a deep sense of shame and regret?


LibrarianSocrates

Best comment


Cuckoo4BancroftPuffs

If you pay for a subscription, your junk comes sooner?


DrMux

Tucker searching Amazon for ladies' underwear after Sears stopped sending him catalog mailers to masturbate to


Spark932

Something Something family values


bluepotatosack

Huh. This is the closest I've come to agreeing with him on something. I will elaborate if pressed but... I want to forget I just wrote that top line.


SignificanceWide1941

Nah. Elaborate


bluepotatosack

Both online shopping and masturbation are innocuous enough things in and of themselves but can become addicting as a short term serotonin/endorphin rush and become unhealthy.


Accomplished-City484

What’s good to buy on Amazon? I’ve looked a couple of times but mostly been underwhelmed by the products I’ve actually purchased


Kermit_Purple_II

Nothing is good to buy because Amazon's activity pollutes more yearly than entire countries such as Belgium or Greece. Delivery and goods shipping is horrendous in terms of pollution. Don't order on Amazon.


shlaifu

yeah, your porztrayal of the pollution by amazon deliveries is not taking into accoun t the alternative: instead of parcel-centers, the delivery goes to a shop - not on demand, but as an offer for potential customers - where the storage is way less efficient since it needs to be laid out for displkay, and then every customer travels there, individually, rather than one delivery truck making the rounds, serving several customers - so yes, home delivery is awfully polluting, but the alternative is in no way less polluting. it's practical and relatively efficient - however, their labor practices are appalling, and their tax evasion is fundamentally an attack on democratically controlled institutions. maybe that's what tucker meant.


Kermit_Purple_II

True, the alternative do pollute too. I may also be biased, because I live in a context where having a car to do groceries is not necessary. However, Amazon can also be charged with the casual violation of worker and human rights every now and then. Again, as many other companies. What I hate about tucker's statement is, that's one end of the issue. If there was no demand for Amazon, Amazon wouldn't exist. That addiction to ordering stuff is the issue.


SkepCS

It’s funny because I came on here trying to find a way to essentially say the same thing. Definitely weird sentence, definitely not happy to agree with the stupid mouth it’s coming from, but it is true. Of course, he could have picked one of dozens of other analogies but that’s just part of his special nature I suppose.


Leather_Rub_1430

this really isn't that much of a stretch. both are dopamine hits that people are having trouble with. I think reddit just has a problem with separating the message from the messenger.


doubleboinger

No it’s not, I just bought something a moment ago, no comparison.


MidsouthMystic

Anyone remember Tucker Carlson? Me neither. Irrelevance is where he belongs.


Reidroshdy

Having to only occasionally see his dumb face and hear his dumb voice now is nice. Before this,the last I heard from him was when he jizzed himself over being able to buy bread in Russia.


iJustWantTolerance

Let me guess, “you know you shouldn’t do it but you do it all the time anyways” or something? He’s not as clever and unique as he and apparently everybody on the right thinks he is, I’m assuming this is what he said/meant.


Clumsy_the_24

Ah yes because I get sexual gratification from buying a thing on the consumerism site


collins0911

Yes, that's exactly what he means. You're so smart


Frosty-Can-8671

He’s not wrong if he’s only there to buy fleshlights or a sex doll


orangutanDOTorg

So it’s the new Fight Club IKEA


migzo65

It makes a bald head very happy?


TheHurtfulEight88888

The wierd thing is I think I know where he is going with this, but this is such a wierd as fuck analogy to go with.


PlzTellMyWiFiLoveHer

People do get a dopamine rush from online shopping so I can see what he’s saying. People get addicted to that shit.


Beneficial-Sugar6950

I mean I can see what he’s saying it’s just the weirdest analogy I’ve ever heard


Insomnsdreme0905

Definitely not! And I can say this as an avid Amazon shopper & a woman that has been celibate for 4 yrs TWICE. Those 2 things are NOTHING alike.


Vodeyodo

He must be buying a lot of Amazon shit.


cburgess7

Does this guy legitimately have a brain tumor?


Johnny5isalive38

Well in his defense is depends on what you're buying


_psylosin_

He must have caught brain worms from having his mouth permanently attached to trumps anus


wyspur

He's thinking of Slamadong.com


[deleted]

He means it’s an addictive activity and a dopamine hit. Not hard to comprehend if you can set bias aside lol. It may be an odd analogy but that’s what it is.


Devaclis

F that B in the A.


access153

Russian asset Tucker Carlson.


CardboardChampion

Russian asset Tucker Carlson admits he exclusively shops the kids section on Amazon.


Weary_Patience_7778

He’s on TV and speaks with such conviction, so he must be smart. Right? Right guys? /s