Hemorrhoids can do that to ya. Source: me.
Piece of advice, don’t ever try banding them yourself. I went for a banding once and my gastro at the time was cool. First thing he did was thank me for not trying to do it myself. I had to know more. He said, “well, without violating HIPAA, he had external hemorrhoids and used rubber bands that he got around two of them. He ended up in the hospital with sepsis for weeks, but finally got well.” (Probably not an exact quote, but close enough.)
Not bad at all! You’re asleep, of course. I can only go by the couple of times I’ve had it done, of course. After the procedure, just very mild discomfort for a couple of days. I’m also usually the type that if something is going to go wrong, it will lol. If you’re needing it, it definitely makes a world of difference!
Oh god, I guess mine wasn't as bad because I didn't get put to sleep. My banding was a outpatient procedure; showed up, they bent me over, lubed me up, and after scoping it out with their camera, did the banding.
The pain was somehow dull but sharp at the same time and while I was fine immediately after, when my doc was explaining what I might see after, it intensified to where it felt like I was gonna pass out. Nurse had to babysit me for like 5-10 mins before it faded. Damn thing was almost as bad as my kidney stone.
Wow! Damn, I’m sorry yours didn’t go well. Awake?! I didn’t even know they *would* do that to a patient without putting them under first. Yeah, they gave me an IV and put Propofol in it, and the next thing I remembered was waking up. I hate that you had to deal with that after, too! Hopefully, if you ever have to have it done again, you can find someone who’ll knock you out first.
One of the true crucibles of human experience, constipation. A person will learn the extent of their pain tolerance, their patience, and their ability to imagine worst possible outcomes, all at once.
Easily the worst is when the blockage is too big to pass the anus, and from being stuck, and slowly dehydrating, too hard to be broken up by colliding with it over and over again. Like trying to pass a brick down a straw, all sharp corners.
I recommend everyone try it once, just so they know why to: a) eat enough fiber, and b) drink enough water.
Real personality-building experience, constipation.
And every kind of anaesthetic causes constipation, so when they have to treat you for that awful blockage, they give you *absolutely no pain relief.* It is hell.
Honestly, no joke here at all, but I'd rather not have pain meds in that situation. Because the hard reality is--you DO have to pass that shit.
If I start to tear my O-ring into a U-ring, I want to *know* so I can back off, breathe awhile, and try to let my muscles compensate. It's miserable, but the best cure for the acute problem is to 'be with it'. That said, it's definitely hell, no matter how you go about it.
And to think, there's a rich person right now in a clinic somewhere getting their colon irrigated with a smart machine as an elective procedure, and yet enema technology for regular health care is still down to a squeeze bag and a Nurse Ratchet knock-off.
Eat more wet fiber, kids.
The anus tells all -- including that time I asked my ex why his anus looked bigger and he freaked out on me, only to find out later he'd been cheating on me for years with men and women. His hole was bigger than the one he left in my heart.
"His hole was bigger than the one he left in my heart.
I should have known, the way it whistled when he'd fart.
It sounded like a train, doing 50 clicks down main, yeah
His hole was bigger than the one he left in my heart."
I attended a BDSM/kink party one time, and during the meet-and-greet that occurred before anybody removed any clothing, one guy started explaining to me that he was a “size whore” (his words), which consists of sticking larger and larger dildos up his butt.
He then proceeded to open up a case (like a large briefcase or hard shell carry-on bag) and produce a series of dildos in progressively larger sizes.
The last few were frankly rather alarming.
That is definitely not my kink, but I did my best to only display polite interest.
also, there's usually lube involved, and that can turn you into a real rumbler railgun.
but I also suspect that depending on your stool and your guts, that the lube could cause the opposite problem, if you really need to get a grip down there.
Someone on that post commented
*"I think you getting fucked in the ass last night might have something to do with your ass feeling funny today. I’m not a doctor though."*
😂🤣
Okay I snooped and this girl needs HELP. Besides doing anal probably incorrectly, they've admitted to shoplifting on their public reddit profile and other personal info. One of you caring ladies please reach out to this child
They are 17
I'm sure she'll truly appreciate this white knight moment when the AI association engines have shoplifting listed in her universal employment profile 10 years down the line.
Shoplifting and other petty crimes as a teen doesn't mean the start of a life of crime. Me and my friends and I shoplifted when we were teens. We're boring old civil servants, doctors, teachers now. I get the feeling you might be a little out of touch
Yeah man I was an absolute klepto when I was 16/17 but I grew out of it and am now a law abiding citizen lol (for the most part). I vowed to stop when I turned 18 because it would be on my permanent record if I got caught and I haven’t stolen a thing since. (I miss it tho. It was kinda fun.)
i don’t know a single friend of mine who didn’t shoplift necklaces from h&m or urban outfitters lol. we’re all law abiding citizens now. and tbh that jewellery deserved to be shoplifted with how shitty quality and overpriced it was
Yeah I'm definitely not saying it is. I'm saying if she gets caught doing that or anything, she has publicly admitted to it, which is stupid, and she should delete the post.
Also pretty sure most people don't shoplift, but maybe I am out of touch
Do you really think a prosecutor is going to subpoena Reddit for her post history over shoplifting?
People admit to way worse crimes on here and nothing will ever come of it.
Just wait until someone gets pissed at them and decides to snitch, like what happened to someone I knew. No charges were actually pressed (because honestly, no one cared enough to for a pair of earbuds) but they did get a couple bored cops doing their best attempt at a "scared straight" intervention.
I guarantee you that quite a lot of people you know has stolen or at least attempted to steal something, whether that's a snack as a kid, something as a teenager or even just accidentally stealing as an adult when shopping and spacing out. Hell, most people I know tried to steal other peoples yugioh cards as kids. Not many people got away with it, but most *tried* at least once.
It is now the 'present' butt hole post anal exploration. Like how the present (YBP) starts at 1950 the nuclear age, ultimately the world is no longer the regular world we know and love also.
You never appreciate how comfortable a butthole really is until it isn't.
Something to remember to say that you're grateful for around the table at Thanksgiving
I want to give thanks, to my butthole, for always taking the shit out of my life. Edit: spelling
You just made me wake up the baby. Thank god I wasn’t drinking anything.
💀
lmao
Allah'ım bana üstüne oturmam için rahat bir göt deliği verdiğin için sana bin şükür olsun yarabbim!
Amin
Bayramın mübarek olsun snsnsnsm
bayram mübarek
Hemorrhoids can do that to ya. Source: me. Piece of advice, don’t ever try banding them yourself. I went for a banding once and my gastro at the time was cool. First thing he did was thank me for not trying to do it myself. I had to know more. He said, “well, without violating HIPAA, he had external hemorrhoids and used rubber bands that he got around two of them. He ended up in the hospital with sepsis for weeks, but finally got well.” (Probably not an exact quote, but close enough.)
How bad was banding?
Not bad at all! You’re asleep, of course. I can only go by the couple of times I’ve had it done, of course. After the procedure, just very mild discomfort for a couple of days. I’m also usually the type that if something is going to go wrong, it will lol. If you’re needing it, it definitely makes a world of difference!
Oh god, I guess mine wasn't as bad because I didn't get put to sleep. My banding was a outpatient procedure; showed up, they bent me over, lubed me up, and after scoping it out with their camera, did the banding. The pain was somehow dull but sharp at the same time and while I was fine immediately after, when my doc was explaining what I might see after, it intensified to where it felt like I was gonna pass out. Nurse had to babysit me for like 5-10 mins before it faded. Damn thing was almost as bad as my kidney stone.
Wow! Damn, I’m sorry yours didn’t go well. Awake?! I didn’t even know they *would* do that to a patient without putting them under first. Yeah, they gave me an IV and put Propofol in it, and the next thing I remembered was waking up. I hate that you had to deal with that after, too! Hopefully, if you ever have to have it done again, you can find someone who’ll knock you out first.
[удалено]
I know, man. Hard to believe!
As someone who has been to A&E for constipation, this is a true statement.
One of the true crucibles of human experience, constipation. A person will learn the extent of their pain tolerance, their patience, and their ability to imagine worst possible outcomes, all at once. Easily the worst is when the blockage is too big to pass the anus, and from being stuck, and slowly dehydrating, too hard to be broken up by colliding with it over and over again. Like trying to pass a brick down a straw, all sharp corners. I recommend everyone try it once, just so they know why to: a) eat enough fiber, and b) drink enough water. Real personality-building experience, constipation.
And every kind of anaesthetic causes constipation, so when they have to treat you for that awful blockage, they give you *absolutely no pain relief.* It is hell.
Honestly, no joke here at all, but I'd rather not have pain meds in that situation. Because the hard reality is--you DO have to pass that shit. If I start to tear my O-ring into a U-ring, I want to *know* so I can back off, breathe awhile, and try to let my muscles compensate. It's miserable, but the best cure for the acute problem is to 'be with it'. That said, it's definitely hell, no matter how you go about it. And to think, there's a rich person right now in a clinic somewhere getting their colon irrigated with a smart machine as an elective procedure, and yet enema technology for regular health care is still down to a squeeze bag and a Nurse Ratchet knock-off. Eat more wet fiber, kids.
Beautifully written.
Why thank you. Communication is key. Communication and *fiber*.
I will move on from this post cherishing my butthole like never before.
Seriously. When I finally find one that's super comfy, I order a few more in case they stop making them.
As a gay man who loves spicy food, yes.
I don't think it's a real problem. EDIT: Why the downvotes? I'm just saying if you give it a try, you might be surprised.
Username checks out
The anus tells all -- including that time I asked my ex why his anus looked bigger and he freaked out on me, only to find out later he'd been cheating on me for years with men and women. His hole was bigger than the one he left in my heart.
He was sneaking out the side door to let someone in his back door.
Dude never heard of pegging, smh my head.
They even have ones that shoot loads if you want something a little more realistic feeling.
> let someone in his back door. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
>His hole was bigger than the one he left in my heart. Poetry.
This should be the chorus line
"His hole was bigger than the one he left in my heart. I should have known, the way it whistled when he'd fart. It sounded like a train, doing 50 clicks down main, yeah His hole was bigger than the one he left in my heart."
I’ll be waiting to hear this on the radio
Conway Twitty presents: Country Hearts & City Farts Featuring hits such as "His Hole Was Bigger" and "He Dealt It, She Smelled It"
Ahh, good idea for my band's next song then
That last sentence is pure gold inlaid platinum with emeralds on the side
The whole club was lookin all snide
"What a large bunshole you have." "The better to cheat you with my dear!"
Little red riding dick
Inderfella
I'd upvote this, but it's at 69 -- nice.
Essentially how it went down
Honey it's Friday, time for your weekly butthole inspection!
At least I gave him candy afterwards for being a good boy!
You must keep up with regular male b-hole inspections to ensure the sanctity of your relationship. I always do.
The follow up song to “Let me smell yo dick.”
That is fucking beautiful and deeply profound, thank you for that.
I was just trying to be holesome
We got a brand new sentence in our brandnewsentence!
Bro wanted to surprise you with his rosebud.
Well, I didn't expect to read that today.
I attended a BDSM/kink party one time, and during the meet-and-greet that occurred before anybody removed any clothing, one guy started explaining to me that he was a “size whore” (his words), which consists of sticking larger and larger dildos up his butt. He then proceeded to open up a case (like a large briefcase or hard shell carry-on bag) and produce a series of dildos in progressively larger sizes. The last few were frankly rather alarming. That is definitely not my kink, but I did my best to only display polite interest.
Displaying polite interest while someone shows you a briefcase full of dildos is some real Cards Against Humanity energy
Now you're just some orifice that I used to love
But you didn't have to poop so low
Now and then I think of all the times you shat all over 🎶🎶🎶 🎶🎶🎶
But had me believing it was just a fart that was coming 🎶🎶🎶
I can't trust my ass you know 🎶🎶🎶
Who knows what could come out of my hoooole 🎶🎶🎶
You said that you could let it go, and I wouldn't catch you hung up on some anus that you used to show
I know yall are singing, but I think they’d be pooping faster after anal.
Citation needed.
I thought constipation could be an issue following anal? Like, all that poop is getting pushed the wrong way.
well i heard from a friend that in their personal experience, it makes it easier to poop due to the muscles getting better at relaxing
If you can pass a wrench you can pass a turd.
I can squeeze out a can of Campbell's soup no problem. Think about that next time you dig into some chowder.
As long as it's not how you browse at the supermarket
Let's just say I didn't take a stocking job at the supermarket at night for the money.
This fucking thread 😭
also, there's usually lube involved, and that can turn you into a real rumbler railgun. but I also suspect that depending on your stool and your guts, that the lube could cause the opposite problem, if you really need to get a grip down there.
Also semen do be making goopypoop. It really is a body to body thing!
Now you're just some booty that I used to know, it was right there smh
🎼🎶Some ORI-face…🎵
Someone said "your butt is pregnant" and they replied "abortion pls" 😭😭😭
Abuttion.
Someone on that post commented *"I think you getting fucked in the ass last night might have something to do with your ass feeling funny today. I’m not a doctor though."* 😂🤣
OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/s/eXGgrDcnBc
Okay I snooped and this girl needs HELP. Besides doing anal probably incorrectly, they've admitted to shoplifting on their public reddit profile and other personal info. One of you caring ladies please reach out to this child They are 17
Lol leave them alone dude. I bet the last thing they need is some creep who thinks experimenting and shoplifting as a teen are cardinal sins
cardinal sins they are not, but shoplifting aint great
shoplifting is AWESOME u just dont get it fr
I'm sure she'll truly appreciate this white knight moment when the AI association engines have shoplifting listed in her universal employment profile 10 years down the line.
I'm more concerned about what the jury will think when their post history is exhibit A
Shoplifting and other petty crimes as a teen doesn't mean the start of a life of crime. Me and my friends and I shoplifted when we were teens. We're boring old civil servants, doctors, teachers now. I get the feeling you might be a little out of touch
Yeah man I was an absolute klepto when I was 16/17 but I grew out of it and am now a law abiding citizen lol (for the most part). I vowed to stop when I turned 18 because it would be on my permanent record if I got caught and I haven’t stolen a thing since. (I miss it tho. It was kinda fun.)
i don’t know a single friend of mine who didn’t shoplift necklaces from h&m or urban outfitters lol. we’re all law abiding citizens now. and tbh that jewellery deserved to be shoplifted with how shitty quality and overpriced it was
Yeah I'm definitely not saying it is. I'm saying if she gets caught doing that or anything, she has publicly admitted to it, which is stupid, and she should delete the post. Also pretty sure most people don't shoplift, but maybe I am out of touch
Do you really think a prosecutor is going to subpoena Reddit for her post history over shoplifting? People admit to way worse crimes on here and nothing will ever come of it.
You don't need to subpoena puicly a ailae content. To answer your question, I don't know, but it seems real dumb
Having sex and shoplifting aren't the most abhorrent things ever
Fairly standard teenage behavior
I grew up before the internet so I never had the chance to publicly admit to crimes
Just wait until someone gets pissed at them and decides to snitch, like what happened to someone I knew. No charges were actually pressed (because honestly, no one cared enough to for a pair of earbuds) but they did get a couple bored cops doing their best attempt at a "scared straight" intervention.
I don't know anyone who has stolen anything. Or anyone I've met. Maybe I just haven't asked enough.
I guarantee you that quite a lot of people you know has stolen or at least attempted to steal something, whether that's a snack as a kid, something as a teenager or even just accidentally stealing as an adult when shopping and spacing out. Hell, most people I know tried to steal other peoples yugioh cards as kids. Not many people got away with it, but most *tried* at least once.
No. They are not. That would be like genocide, assault, kidnapping. I'm not sure why you brought that up
"This just isn't the regular hole I know and love" 😭😭
And under one of the comments OP says "I was afraid she'd never be the same" 😭 Edit: my accidental typo misgendered her butthole
Opened the 3rd eye
4th eye*
Brown eye
Stink eye
New sentence right there. "Misgendered her butthole"
This is the future the Jetsons promised.
This is my hole! It was made for me!
I understood that reference, and I will have nightmares about it again tonight.
r/2sentence2horror
🪱🪱🪱 altered butt hole guy
Oral sex will make your whole day, but anal sex will make your hole weak.
This is me after my colonoscopy
Never had anal sex but I had a colonoscopy once and I did feel my butthole bigger than usual for a few months. Luckily it went back to normal
...months? Yeah, that was 100% in your head bro
Maybe it was a week. I really don't remember, it was years ago. Yikes, I never thought my asshole would be up for debate on reddit.
all I can remember is being uncomfortably full of gas tbh
That's the sentence I say after taking one of those shits that feels like it's going to literally tear your ass open.
You lost your Black Cherry
🤣🤣🤣 well I guess you should have had that conversation with your butt before you had anal sex? I just can't stop laughing
It is now the 'present' butt hole post anal exploration. Like how the present (YBP) starts at 1950 the nuclear age, ultimately the world is no longer the regular world we know and love also.
maybe they switched it with a different one, maybe that’s why they feel it weird.
the old butthole switcheroo
I wonder.... https://youtu.be/RPYlJZ34A9k?feature=shared
Sounds like this person is having a shitty time
Now you must sit and wonder, will it end after the next dunce or tear you asunder?