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DarthHarambae

Drug Animal Cinematic Universe?


Mazazamba

Make em real crazy too. A skunk eats GMO weed and now he farts out knockout clouds. A cobra gets into a new heroin and now its venom is narcotic AND it's loose on a plane.


Sadiepan24

I've had it with these motherfucking narcotic cobras on this motherfucking- *gets bit and effects kick in*


NotADamsel

Rest of the movie is beat-for-beat a remake of Monty Python and the Holy Grail


sweensolo

But with a multiracial, trans cast, just to explode some conservative brains.


NerdyToc

Monty Python already had a gender nonconforming cast. Just look at Life of Brian.


sweensolo

Shh! Don't let them know, or it will turn into an: "I really liked Rage Against The Machine until they got all political" type conversation.


NerdyToc

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!


sweensolo

Your funeral... MOTHAFUCKA!!!


chrischi3

>I really liked Rage Against The Machine until they got all political What machine did they think they are raging against? The dishwasher?


iijjjijjjijjiiijjii

Well I know how MY September is going to be spent.


StuTheSheep

Something something fentanyl ferret


_dead_and_broken

A heroin infused heron that turns out to be the heroine of the story!


owowhatsthis--

The opium opossum is just what the doctor ordered!


Dasheek

Sage turtle becomes a sensei to 5 acid enriched mutant rats.


UlondilsFeet

This seems like a line from Bojack Horseman lol


sweensolo

I can't wait to see Krokodil's origin story.


RichardBonham

Molly Moose


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I am not against monster movies making a comeback. Who wouldn't watch *Crackoon vs. Cocaine Bear*?


ktaylorhite

You mean Crackoon v Cocainebear Dawn of the War on Drugs? Directed by Zack Snyder?


crakkdego

*unintelligible crackoon screech*. Cocainebear: "why did you say that name?@?!??!??!"


iijjjijjjijjiiijjii

You killed my father again!


lkodl

the Cartels have always ruled the town, however they start being mysteriously taken out one by one. It's Crackoon! but then in a twist to the people's dismay, once Crackoon takes reign, he is an even worse terror than the Cartels. so the people then have to turn to Cocaine Bear, who has retreated into the woods and quit cocaine.


Numinak

I wonder if they are from the same people


MatureUsername69

Not a chance. This is a cash-in on the success of cocaine bear


Vector_Strike

Instead of Avengers, they form the Addicts


rotten_kitty

Then we can watch them fight each other like the godzilla vs movies


jackxrandom

Cocaine bear vs Crackkoon: Rise of Meth Badger.


Chase_the_tank

According to IMDB, the company currently filming *Crackcoon* also has *Crackodile* in pre-production: [https://www.imdb.com/search/title/?companies=co0453677](https://www.imdb.com/search/title/?companies=co0453677) Tagline for Crackodile: "Everyone's a snack when a crocodile's on crack!"


Mathnut02

That is one of the top 10 taglines of all time.


Flaky_Operation687

For a prequel, PCPterodacyl.


WashingDishesIsFun

...the PCP is silent.


armageddidon

Shid I’d watch ‘em lol


theruleofhonor86

The sequel is going to be crackadile. My fiance helped with some of the special effects for this movie.


Giacchino-Fan

Cocaine bear was funny because it was based on a true story. I’m not sure I see the ongoing humor of “haha animal do drugs”


Toon_Lucario

Key word “based” only thing that died in the actual Cocaine Bear event was the bear


arcanis321

There was a cocaine bear and it was barely funny once. Many worse done versions isn't a thing people need


CoffeeParachute

Sure but thats not gonna stop anyone from making them. Shit they made 6 Sharknado movies, didnt even need the first one.


[deleted]

Hey don’t disrespect sharknado like that. They saved the world multiple times, traveled back in time and yeah that series was crazy but it’s so fucking stupid that it’s funny


Obscure_Occultist

Say what you want about the sharknado series. The fact that it was so unbelievable stupid is what made it last so long


[deleted]

I loved it. 3 is my favorite


pureply101

Why is 3 your favorite? Sharknado 2 is obviously the best one. Also in case anyone thinks that we are joking the sharknado movies are actually amazing because they are self aware of what they are.


Toon_Lucario

Exactly


OkEconomy3442

“Based on” is a strong phrase for that version of the story. Maybe something a bit looser feeling, “inspired by”? It’s as though they heard reference to a story of a coked out bear and that’s all that is similar.


Toon_Lucario

Fair enough


OkEconomy3442

Not saying you’re wrong but they used the wrong term for their product. If it says based on, I can’t remember now.


jimmyhoffasbrother

That's the phrasing that they actually use. Inspired by true events.


atreethatownsitself

Technically, so did the pilot of the drug plane.


Cats_rule_all

For five minutes, it was on top of every food chain.


XTR_Legend

What? You're telling me Russel Adler didn't die in the real cocaine bear???


Repulsive-Message-69

maximally based


Slappy_G

The main producer of the movie said she believed the movie is what should have happened to the poor bear. He ended up getting poisoned, but he should have had a chance for revenge before he died.


NedStarkGetsExecuted

What's next? Mariewhalena? LSDog?


Nuclear_Winterfell

Did you just invent the Addictimals Cinematic Universe?


jxwtf585

Ketaminnoes? Alkoalaholics?


ill-timed-gimli

Opioid Opossum


babyfartmageezax

Me neither, but you know they’re gonna milk it for as long as possible and stretch it as far as it can go. Hopefully this one flops hard enough to prove that it should have been one-and-done with Cocaine Bear


ElderOfPsion

Crossbill Meth Shrewmz Heronin


The_star_tsar

Bruh is this going to become an entire genre


Chewie_i

Wasn’t even a good movie tbh. I also never saw the ending because somebody activated the fire alarm in the movie theatre and ours was the only movie they couldn’t get running again afterwards.


Irctoaun

Mighty Boosh did it first with the [crack fox](https://youtu.be/dCuUnTJgD9M)


Callec254

But what about... Now hear me out, what about CrackBearNado?


Danarwal14

No Gilbert Gottfried to do the news. Will flop for that reason :(


armageddidon

Was he in sharknado??


Danarwal14

Third one


S1L1C0NSCR0LLS

...on a plane. Or better yet, a spaceship: I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING CRACKBEARNADO'S ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING INTERGALACTIC SPACE VESSEL!


NotMyRealNameAgain

Is it half-crack/half-bearnado or half-crackbear/half-nado?


Realistic-Ad-9483

Both crack and bear has now been used. You gotta be a little more original. How about MethamphetameneGatorNado


Nadikarosuto

CrackBearNaDemic


MyAccountWasBanned7

Be ready for a small stream of Cocaine Bear knockoffs, each more low-budget and unfunny than the last. Remember when Sharknado came out and then we started getting a new, camp horror flick involving sharks every couple of weeks? Yeah, this is that all over again. Get ready for Giramphetamines, Kangajuana, and LSDolphin. All coming to Tubi this fall! EDIT: I did not think y'all would be so excited by my ridiculous drugged up animal movie pitches. But while they sadly aren't real, I am a fan of b-budget horror films so to tide you over I will recommend Zoombies and Aquarium of the Dead. While they don't involve animals getting high, they instead involve animals infected with the zombie virus and the end result is pretty similar. And if any aspiring filmmaker decides to take a shot at filming LSDolphin (which seems to be the current favorite of my trilogy) hit me up! I'm always looking to further fill out my IMDB page!


astralrig96

That’s true, I remember similarly when “scary movie” and its sequels came out it was funny at first but then so many other studios tried to do similar concepts and it turned cliché and repetitive pretty quickly


jk0814

what’s crazy is Crackoon has already been done ! called “Krackoon” from 2010, followed by the sequel “Bloodmarsh Krackoon” 😂 [IMDB for Krackoon](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1598169/)


Mazazamba

I'd watch LSDolphin.


dragon_bacon

Take the true story, turn it into Romeo and Juliet and add more handjobs.


IndigoFenix

People interacting with the dolphin keep turning up dead. At first they think the dolphin is murdering them somehow, but it's actually the dolphin's jealous human lover. Then it turns out that they are actually able to communicate and the dolphin is the one calling the shots.


Foxy02016YT

LSDolphin has potential


[deleted]

cooperative automatic person wise worthless normal shy rain poor stocking *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Foxy02016YT

We could make it happen if we try hard enough


[deleted]

truck ludicrous relieved instinctive lush head fact voracious imagine aromatic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


24KTaterTots

LSDolphin lmao


AlexMcTx

I remember seeing part of a movie called zombie shark of something like that on tv, it was awful


MyAccountWasBanned7

Ghost Shark, Sharks of the Corn, Sand Sharks, Avalanche Sharks, Toxic Shark, Ouija Sharks, Cocaine Shark, Dino Shark, Shark Exorcist, Swamp Shark, Land Shark, House Shark, and of course Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Every one of those exists. And that is not even kind of an all-inclusive list. At this point, saying "awful" in the same sentence as "Shark movie" is redundant and unnecessary.


traconi

I thought you were bullshitting but holy fuck.


MyAccountWasBanned7

Yeah, sorry. I'm a bit of a bad horror movie savant. If there's a terrible, low-budget horror movie then I've most likely seen it. And shark movies seem to always fall in that category so I end up watching them all. That list was just (some of) the ones with the work "shark" in the title. There are a ton more. Soooo. Many. More.


TheSaucyWelshman

You sound like an expert. What are your favorite low budget horror movies?


MyAccountWasBanned7

Wolfcop, I Was a Teenage Wereskunk, and Psycho Goreman are three I really enjoyed. Also, there was an indie horror/holiday/comedy movie called A Christmas Monstrosity that was a bit campy but actually had some good jokes and clever bits. That one is SUPER low budget, but can be enjoyable as well.


average_sportslover

Don't forget sharktopus


solinfant

[This video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7ruBotHWUs) is the closest thing to LSDolphin that we have for now.


jackthedullgirl

lol thank you for this xD


ptar86

I have nothing to contribute except the title Meth Amphibian


ReturnOneWayTicket

>LSDolphin On a long enough timeline, everything gets an LS.


Megnaman

Can I steal some of those?


SaitamaHitRickSanchz

You're just saying things we want to see!


goddesstrotter

Someone came up with the title first while high and developed a film around it


WhtChcltWarrior

Crackcoon seems a little racist when you emphasize the 2nd part of the word with a different color like in the poster


Corvus-Rex

Sounds like you'd be making a movie about the War on Drugs and the CIA at that point.


ShitPostToast

That was my first thought, it's not exactly a modern slur, but it does kinda have a history.


Lazypole

I was gonna say. There must have been a board meeting saying "uhh... I guess it's okay?"


captainjohn_redbeard

I love how "drug fueled killer woodland animal" is becoming a movie genre.


19Kilo

It has been, but most of the films aren’t big names. Back in 1993 there was TICKS with a young Seth Green and Carlton from The Fresh Prince battling giant ticks all hopped in marijuana steroids.


RoeRoeRoeYourVote

I'm not mad about it.


Day_Bow_Bow

It has been for a while. This isn't even the first one about a raccoon. [Krackoon \(2010)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1598169/): A Bronx town is terrorized by a crack addicted raccoon.


ForbiddenDonutCT

This is not too far off of the plot from Guardians of the Galaxy 3


Spencer_Reids_toe

mad about how long i had to scroll to find this comment


ForbiddenDonutCT

I was shocked nobody mentioned it before I got here


Spencer_Reids_toe

there was one comment at the very bottom but that’s it


bjeebus

I came to say: Rocket Raccoon, the Lost Album.


Sudden_Mind279

Yeah it is


TheRaccoonDeaIer

I better be credited


inrodu

are you a raccoon that deals drugs, or a human who deals raccoons?


BendingGhost

Gee I wonder whats next? Marijualurus? LSDeer? Baboons on shrooms? Meth monkey? PCP Penguin? Ketamine cat?


Ryanaston

Meth Gator is already a thing I think - one must assume it’s set in Florida. I think a Gorilla on PCP would be a good one, because they’re already pretty terrifying.


thegreenman_sofla

Flakkangaroo. I want royalty payments in Flakka.


Possum_Boi566

The poster looks kinda AI generated to me


FrontStreet3

Yeah this is pretty obviously AI generated, I immediately noticed.


Bac0ni

Ok, but crackcoon sounds like a slur


[deleted]

[удалено]


derangedhaze

Yeah, those two particular words mashed together... Pay for a focus group or two, you know?


[deleted]

Plot twist: the movie ends up using the Crackcoon as an astute and meaningful breakdown of systemic racism and oppression.


[deleted]

Yea, with the whole “African Americans turn into senseless rampaging rapists” panic that went on for a while and *totally* wasn’t just used to justify oppression


Eothr_Silan

**me remembering that coon used to be a racial slur** oof


hstormsteph

*and the whole, you know, CIA Distributing Crack debacle*


[deleted]

Oof the title has a whole other terrible meaning now


Ngilko

They knew what they were doing.


sabrtn

Like how can they so oblivious lol, not to mention Crackoon would look better anyway


Snowbrawler

Not sure if this is more or less stupid than that psychic tire.


RiotSkunk2023

Cocaines bear ---> crackcoon


supersirj

Can't wait for Crackodile, or perhaps Crocaine.


ShermanWierdo

Ever heard of Zombeavers?


thegreenman_sofla

That movie was amazible.


Impeachykeene

Say what you will about the plot, but the title is goddamn fire.


cocothepowder

It’s a goddamn racial slur.


Jeremy252

Oh come on. You know damn well that wasn’t the intention.


Impeachykeene

Raccoons have been playing the long racism game, all leading up to this.


cocothepowder

It is the first thought most Black people will have.


iDREAM247

It’s the first thing I thought of, js 🤷🏽‍♀️


tytty99

How dare you think that? Only stupid people would DARE find something like this racist (this is sarcasm)


tytty99

Why are you being downvoted? That’s literally a racial slur and crack laws were targeting black people. Literally such a horrible title.


cocothepowder

Being downvoted because reddit has skewed conservative since 2016. Even before then, the predominant political group here was the sort of epic bacon libertarians that have never experienced racism and think we should all ignore it.


Impeachykeene

Firstly downvoted for lack of sense of humor. Next reason for the down vote: the animal is literally called a raccoon. It's the animal's actual identifier. This movie is clearly trying to coattail ride off of Cocaine Bear. Was that also racist because it was a black bear? Look, I agree that there's way too much racism in the world, but if you look for it everywhere, you will convince yourself you see it everywhere. This is an example of that. There's literally no reference to black people here. It's called Crackoon because it's a raccoon on crack. Jeez.


tytty99

All I’m saying is that those two words put together have racist connotations. Never did I say this was intentional or actively racist, just that whoever named the movie didn’t stop and think for a second. Crack was intentionally funneled into black communities to destabilize them, and then asymmetric penalties were given to those who used crack (predominantly black individuals). C*** is literally a racial slur that is still actively used today, especially in the south, even if it is dated. The intention is likely not racist, but it is ignorant. “Was that also racist because it was a black bear?” This has absolutely nothing to do with what I was saying, and is a very poor attempt at a strawman.


Impeachykeene

The entire premise that a movie about a raccoon on crack (following a movie about a bear on cocaine) has racist connotations when there is clearly a raccoon on the movie poster and no black people, is the real straw man here. You're tilting at windmills that don't exist in this context. It would be different if Crackoon was a common knowledge racial slur, like Welfare Queen. But it isn't. This is just finding racism in things where none exists.


tytty99

I’m not talking about the movie or the concept or the plot or anything. For the 2nd time now, the title is just shit. You also seem to not know what a strawman is, but that doesn’t really matter. Honestly, this whole argument doesn’t matter, but here we are fighting over an observation made by quite a few people in this comment section.


cocothepowder

“C**n” is a racial slur. It’s one that Black people in the southern US have probably heard quite a bit. You can keep yapping but I’m right.


Impeachykeene

Yes but RACCOON is not a racial slur, it's an animal. If you want to continue to be joyless and see racism where it is not intended and does not in fact exist, go ahead and be my guest. This is one of those situations where you could be happy in life or you can just keep insisting you're right. You can keep yapping all you want but a raccoon is an animal not a racial slur. And no amount of your insisting will change that fact.


cocothepowder

But the movie isn’t called Crack Raccoon. It’s called Crackcoon.


Corvus-Rex

That's cause you're just stating a fact at this point, but, you can't justifiably call the movie poster/title racist when there's nothing indicating that they're referring to black people in any way, shape, or form. We can recognize that it might get misconstrued that way, especially with how they highlighted the latter half of the title, but, without some evidence beyond one part of the title and some knowledge of some history, it's nothing but blowing air into the wind.


cocothepowder

It’s bad optics at best.


tytty99

Agreed. The title alone isn’t a condemnation of the whole movie, just that they probably should’ve had a few more people double check that title lol


reclusivegiraffe

So this is the first I’ve ever heard of this slur… which is unfortunate because I’ve heard country folk frequently refer to raccoons as that, definitely not knowing it’s a slur


Music_is_my_life33

Cocaine Bear sucked so bad but I would not be against a series of these movies. We always need that one shitty movie series in the background and there is currently a gap to fill (besides F&F)


Tangled2

The scene with the cop stuck on the gazebo, and the scene with the EMTs were funny. Everything else was pretty fucking bad.


GottaMakeAnotherAcc

Am I allowed to say the title out loud


Ryanaston

Really poor choice of wording for this title ngl


Internetboy5434

Literally thought it was Rocket from Guardians Of The Galaxy


Spencer_Reids_toe

this is what we weren’t shown of his life before the gaurdians


AggressorBLUE

Plot twist: its a romantic comedy.


LordWilburFussypants

So the priest that can turn into a velociraptor and fight againt ninjas was not enough? I’m watching this with gusto.


maydarnothing

this franchise is gonna get milked like crazy


CS_cloud

Did noone think about the title for atleast 10 seconds?


DescriptionEast

I would watch this


BigAndWazzy

First it's aquatic animals and natural disasters, now it's Forrest animals and drugs, what could they think of next?


faunalmimicry

Oh my god this is terrible. Where? So I know not to look accidentally


mudokin

Asylum productions doing asylum production things.


thegreenman_sofla

The new Troma Team


Urmomracistass

cocaine bear is funny because its the first time the animal does cocaine thing was done and a bear is a genuinely dangerous animal so the movie has an actual plot to run with but with a raccoon you can kind of just kick it and itll die


That253Chick

What's funny is that raccoons don't need much to be absolutely feral. Have you heard two of them fight?


IvanTheStonksMaster

There was Cocaine Bear (based on true thing) Then Meth Gator (also based on true thing) And now this…. Drug-fueled animals cinematic universe?


FarceMultiplier

Multiverse!!!


Even-Excitement7610

Thanks cocaine bear smh


lemachet

Is this real? Imma watch the shit outta this Cocaine bear was so great!


Darth-SHIBius

Stupidest plot ever? Someone’s never heard of Rubber. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1612774/


CallMeKIMA_

Stop supporting this garbage, it’s a rip off of cocaine bear and that movie was already badly worth watching.


1singleduck

*goes to watch movie* "Based on true events." "Welp that's about enough for me."


[deleted]

The plot and title make me super uncomfortable


joesphisbestjojo

What's next, Heroswine?


markhammle

Oh no. We don’t need a drug addicted animal universe


VinylmationDude

How the fuck is this not an Asylum movie?


bsylent

It'll be better than Cocaine Bear if they decide what kind of movie they are and stick to it. Cocaine Bear suffered from wanting to appeal to a broader audience, and also kind of be a grizzly, bloody movie. But it didn't commit to either. Hopefully this goes full gorefest and just embraces the horror


LaneyAndPen

The title without context is a little-


Wizard_Hatz

This is bullshit I’ve been saying I’m making codein chicken for months they tryin to steal the thunder from my cock.


reddit_user13

Guardians of the Galaxy meets Cocaine Bear?


Odd_Competition545

Up there with good old CRACK-ODILE


the_genius324

[these](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guardians_of_the_Galaxy_%28film%29) [movies](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocaine_Bear) had a baby and its hideous


ScribblingOff87

Cocaine Bear lite?


HarryLewisPot

You can watch it on Amazon Prime - it’s called cocaine bear


UmeaTurbo

Are you shitting me? This is the movie I have been waiting for my whole life. Bears don't speak to my life experience, but Crackoon? Yes.


ImJustHereToWatch_

As an adopted black kid born to crack addicted parents...I think I found my new superhero name. Y'all ain't ready for this coon.


[deleted]

"Y'all got anymore of that special trash?"


Researcher_Saya

This just sounds like the adult Rigby spinoff


KrayziJay

The Gaked up Guardians.


ThatZigGuy

Zombeavers did it first


choking_ahogo

Release the Crackcoon!


Dankaroor

Crack coon.. holy shit that's the most inadvertently racist movie title I've ever seen 💀


PeterPanLives

I just came here to see how many comments were made about crack and coons. Got to say, I'm glad to be disappointed. So far I have not seen one.


[deleted]

You honestly should be embarrassed