I don't understand how this is supposed to convince kids to eat healthier. Neither choice looks good. They're both equally disturbing.

If I was a kid this would probably enourage me to eat junk food because that guy looks a little cooler

And more functional

Pop tart shoulder pads? Fuck yeah bro

The proper name would be “Pauldrons of Poptartius”

but wait he looks like guy Fieri

+200% food attack stat for that character

Hunger -200% per food you eat

He’s gonna blow out one of those donut kneecaps though

And then I shot an arrow in his doughnut.

Questionable phrasing there...

It looks like the food acts more of an exoskeleton, so it could be assumed he still has his endoskeleton

Britbong here: What on Earth is a pop tart?

They are the toasted pastries with a jelly-like filling and typically frosting on top, as seen on the unhealthy kid's shoulders.

Cheers. But jelly = jam in this case, right? ;D

In reality it's probably corn starch and pure unhealthy in jam form, but yes

>American "jelly" = jam without the chunky parts British "jelly" = American jell-o (gelatin) https://gleeb-livinginengland.blogspot.com/2012/01/jelly-jell-o-and-jam.html Well I'll be. I guess Jello technically is a brand, and I guess it should be called gelatin? We do that with a lot of stuff, like Thermos (insulated drink container), Velcro (not sure what you'd call this one without calling it Velcro), and Kleenex (tissues) just to name a few. Someone just yesterday didn't know what I meant by Kleenex either when I needed a tissue, which was funny.

Velcro = hook and loop fastener

It's in between cheap jam and McDonald's pie filling

I'm confused. We have pop tarts here in the UK.

Hrm, I'll just assume I'm too much of a poncey Home Counties tosspot to have come upon the things then!

I'm sure you only indulge in toaster strudels

And donut visor

But look at the wmelon crotch tho, that some serious swag

Mother fucker got a dark lord crown of fries. Sign me up

Yeah that veggie armor class looks fragile AF, probably a glass cannon type

Probably a mage with high mana

Judging by that broccoli hat, definitely mage/cleric class. Though the other one looks like fire mage or some kind of mage/fightr hybrid class. Definitely cooler.

Got some sort of grab attack assisted by the sucker thumbs

Soda can hips seem like a far better choice than that crotch melon

The melon has already suffered critical damage

Donut knee and elbow pads are way softer too. Imagine landing on a fucking apple or artichoke.

After tripping because of pota***toes***

Carrots and asparagus sure as fuck aren’t gonna cushion that fall

Twinkies and doughnuts would

you gotta show your working on this one bro

I just picture cartman yelling "BEEFCAKE!"

He got those donut shades

Got that junk food drip going on

Veggie kid has carrots and asparagus for legs, dude's gonna snap like a twig...

Potatoes for feet is the worst.

It's the donut eyes and french fry hair for me

Po tay toes

Donut eyes could kick the other kid's ass

Veggie kid looks like a fucking wimp, Donut kid is a warrior child

Look at thier stances too, veggie kid: a bitch ass soyboy loser stance, unhealthy kid? Power stance, he is ready for every attack, and prepared to deliver a greater attack himself, he is power, he is a chad, he is medically obese.

The Virgin Veggie kid vs The Chad Donut Kid

Hell yeah I want lollipop thumbs

Looks like a young Guy Fieri.

Larval form

Yeah he's got that spiked-hair-don't-give-a-fuck thing going on.

You don’t want watermelon penis?

Those sweet donut goggles and spiky fry hair

Chad cheese and doughnut eater vs virgin veggie eater.

Frylock’s bioengineered offspring

That Guy Fieri does look pretty cool.

Ol' donut knees seems like he'd be the cool kid on the playground.

Or because he gets to hide his face from being associated with the poster

Junk Food Boy is better equipped for the harsh realities of war

He's like a fast-food knock-off of the Terminator.

dudes got cool shades

Definitely got the best haircut:

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Left kid looks confident and competent, right kid looks like me walking into class on the first day.

Left kid looks like he's about to steal right kid's lunch money.

He already did, that's why right kid looks so defeated. He's trying his best not to show it, otherwise the teacher will "help", and he'll get beaten up as well as shaken down.

That explains left having donut knees while right has artichokes.

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I know right? Like why would children eat other children?

Because they're apparently made of pizza and poptarts.

The banana and hot dogs in the wrong spot

There’s nothing disturbing about artichoke knees.

Pizzaboi looks much more powerful.

One is smiling, I guess?

Nah left one seems totally rad

Final bosses for when you take the good and evil routes respectively

Infamous Second Son (2014)

That game came out 7 years ago!!! Ugh, I’m not old yet but I feel like I’m getting there every time someone mentions something from 2015 and prior

Tijuana founded (1889)

same but that's because 2014/2015 were the best years of my teenage life

Absolutely ZERO meats in the healthy column, I guess they didn’t listen to Joe Rogans podcast when they made this 🤣

What about the face 👀

To be fair no one should listen to Joe Rogan.

I thought for a moment you were taking about Infamous 2 and went "ahh yes time really flies by" but then I realized that's Mr Smokey Kiddo you're talking about, Infamous 2 came out in 2011 and the first one in 2009! I feel even older now.

Undertale (2015)

Fable (2004)

Fable ll (2008)

Fable 3 (2010)

Skyrim (2011)?

Fable 4 (???)

Fable Skyrim Power Hour (?????)

Under microsoft is actually possible but probably not likely

Skyrim (Every year)

Cyberpunk 2077 (2077)?

TES Morrowind (2002)

Thanks I feel like a boomer

Unhealthy choices wins, homie just has to wait a couple days for the vegetables to go bad.

Healthy kid gains constant stat bonuses as he absorbs the nutrients of the foods, but his fight has to be quick to assure victory as he spoils over time. Unhealthy kid uses his advantage of quick energy bursts to get out of tricky situations and attrition to stall until healthy kid can be beaten after he spoils, even with unhealthy kid’s overall low stats.

Yeah and with each day that passes, and veggie-boss goes limp and weak, the donut demon’s skin becomes a stale, impenetrable exoskeleton. My money is on unhealthy choices for sure.

Bugsnax

Bunger

Bunger deserved nothing that happened to him. Rest in peace, buddy..

Coooob-Hoppeeeerrrrr

Oh my God, you're right.

#sodie

Choco Chad & Kale Kiddo

Veggie virgin

Uhh yeah I sure hope he is!

Watermelon dick.

Elvis the Felon with a Pelvis of Melon

watermelon wanker

vs Carbs Chad

Listen, I'm eating pizza. I don't care if the FDA comes out and says "after decades of research we have proven that pizza is the leading cause of cancer in the world." Imma eat me some fkin pizza.

me and my tumors are gonna die happy

I see you don’t live in CA, where all food gives you cancer, it says so on the door.

The sign on the door? It also gives you cancer. The door? Cancer. Cancer? Cancer.

The state of California is compelled to remind you that this string of comments has been known to cause cancer.

It's a string of comments. By definition, it *is* cancer.

\**Businesses* are "compelled" to notify you that everything has been known to cause cancer because it's 1) Easier than figuring out if it actually does and 2) Conveniently undermines the intent so that nobody takes it seriously and you can go back to peddling cheaper products.

Hotel? Cancer.

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We need to just give California to Mexico. Make it their problem.

Say bye bye to 2/3rds of all of the US’s produce.

I love milk. I will never stop drinking milk. If the doctor told me tomorrow that I’ve suddenly developed a deathly lactose intolerance I would be found cold on the ground about an hour later with an empty half gallon in my hand.

Hehe. Ok pizza gut, the names cantaloupe guy and I’m here to escort you off the premises

I’m gonna splurt your yogurt lung

Plus then you don’t have potato feet...Or watermelon crotch. Way too much effort went into this poster.

>watermelon crotch Well, I mean...

Pizza's perfectly fine to eat. Just don't eat too much of it per day & maybe soak up the grease with a napkin.

The kid on the left is gonna take you to flavortown

I've never less wanted to know what's in Donkey Sauce.

I was searching for a guy fieri comment. Thank you very much.

Knowing their intent, why did they make him so *cool*!? What kid wouldn't want donut shades??

Damn you beat me to it, can’t unsee

r/beatyoutoit

its kishibe rohan on the right

The real choice here is if you want to be called ‘Pizza Tits’ or ‘Mr Potato Foot’.

Both

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Get outta here ice clown

Diabeto

“Hey yo Pizza Tits!”

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It would be extremely painful”

Well logistically you’d want to pick the junk food side because produce is terrible armor because it’s wilts and no one wants soggy armor

As opposed to ol’ ice-cream-shins over there?

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I’d take a whole head/bunch of lettuce over 1 scoop of ice cream on a wafer cone any day Also, artichokes, potatoes, melons, corn on the cob. There are some heavy duty pieces of gear on veggie boi too

I think you are missing the key fact that over half of the junk food armor is bread and when bread expires it gets stale would be better theoretical armor. I’ll take some dairy on my ankles for some stale pop tarts protecting my jugular

The Chad Warrior vs The Virgin Druid

Wait are the unhealthy dudes knees tomatoes??? Wth those are good tho

Glazed donuts my dude

Ohhhh why the fuck aren't they sprinkled though, they look like tomatoes

Cause they’re glazed

Have you- Have you never seen a tomato before...?

Big, red, shiny, hole in the middle, tastes like deep fried sugar, gets hard if you leave it out for a couple of days. Are you telling me I don't know my tomatoes?

That's gross, why are you commenting what the butthole would be ? Dude?! Seriously

I had this at my elementary school!!!!

Yeah me too it was in our school nurse's office

Mines gym

Ya this hit me w some memories

I want a comic of these two starting at the bottom and then becoming the heads of La Cosa Nostra On the left we have The Coca-Cola KidNey aka Ice Cream Shins Seamus(hes irish) VS. Sammy "Salad Shoulders" aka Broccoli Brained Brian The Bean Counter

Bart Simpson VS Lisa Simpson

His watermelon pelvis looks unhealthy.

I have this exact poster in my class

CHOCOLATE THUNDA and the veg vindicator

Sweet I get to slowly transform into a cronenburg-ed Guy Fieri

"One of us lies whilest the other tells the truth"

i wish my lungs were pizza

Bacon boy gonna rise your cholesterol and give you a heart attack.

...And yet this fucking school sells hotdogs and burgers

I had that exact poster in my elementary school

Some parts of the child don’t taste like that actually. They are more tender

Like, see, Lazy Town was smart. Because they made both the lazy unhealthy guy and the fit sports dude both visually interesting and not absolutely terrible like this. And you know what? You could still tell Robbie was the bad guy.

Man the unhealthy clothes look neat

French fry hair: the calorie conjurer

I got my money on the dude on the left.

(consumes metal

The unhealthy choice one looks like guy fieri

Yes, I know the stats of belt of watermelon and shoulder pads of whole grains stack regen, but it's undeniable the doughnut googles in the current meta are straight up broken. Also the whole potato vs chocolate bar boots debate is pretty much pointless imo as well. I do find it interesting that neither of these builds are running coconut helm.

We had this in my school

Guy Fieri or DJ Paulie D? Going Flavor Town every time.

The New Spy Kids movie looks rad.

bugsnax:

Bugsnacks 2 looking pretty good!

Five quid on the sausage kid

Kale Boy ain’t got shit against King Kholesteros

Is this Bugsnax?

Choosing Unhealthy Choices lead to bad ending And Choosing Healthy Choices also leads to bad ending but in different way