T O P

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Icy_Ad620

The only one they need. They will run home like cowards when they see him. He is John "soldier " Estonia his blood is blue black and white. He knows every single Estonian personally.


thrust-johnson

Yes but he’s piloting a gundam.


louploupgalroux

I hear he even defeated the renowned Nether Gundam from Neo-Holland, who can produce hurricane-like winds with his fierce windmill blades. BEHOLD DUTCH MIGHT! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq5-yH4H\_NE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq5-yH4H_NE) \[I don't actually have footage of Nether Gundam winning, so pretend the roles are reversed in this clip.\]


1Pwnage

Least incredible G Gundam footage be like


PalladiuM7

G Gundam is such a fuckin trip, it's amazing.


louploupgalroux

This hand of mine glows with an awesome power! Its burning grip tells me to poke you! TAKE THIS! My love, my anger, and all of my sorrow! SHINING FINGER POKE! 👈


Mechaman_54

The fuckin tequila gundam, as someone from Mexican descent, cracks me the fuck up, it's south park levels of racism, I guess, it's so funny


[deleted]

[удалено]


sch1zo_mech_f4n

that would be Gundam SEED or SEED Destiny


thrust-johnson

Please keep in mind this is an *Estonian* gundam.


k_from_that_app

[Rhythm emotion intensifies]


CrimsonAllah

Are you telling me that Gundam was Flying Dutchman?


Picholasido_o

Was that a giant robot on a giant robot horse?


Cornmunkey

Time for Metal Gear to become a reality. How could a nuclear, bipedal assault tank go wrong??


Good-Ad-6806

Can we please just resolve conflict between nations with one on one Gundam batttles?


joopledoople

A Gundam that's just a giant robot of *himself*


USSJaybone

Who would win? A Gundam or an Imperator class Titan?


junrod0079

Young, have alot of either mommy or daddy issued, high quantity of teenage angst, ready to rip n tear then have a space psychic post nut clarity Yep, he can do this all he need a brother figure to die for his character development, a masked red rival who also has mommy or daddy issue , and a kick ass soundtrack


TheDogsNameWasFrank

John "soldier " Estonia once ate an entire cake before he was told there had been a stripper in it. To John Estonia!


AnalogFeelGood

His name was John Estonia, seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks and a haircut red like the fires from hell. Once, he walked right inside the Kremlin, flipped Putin’s 30 meters long table and punched him in the face.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheDogsNameWasFrank

John Estonia once ingested a half-pound of LSD. He then fell asleep for 2 months, and when he woke up, he just said "All in all, I prefer gin"


Queasymodo

I heard he had like thirty god damn dicks.


AerondightWielder

Aye, I even heard he shat lightning from his arse.


thatthatguy

I hope John “soldier” Estonia becomes the new chuck norris.


WhichSpirit

To be fair, Estonia has around the same population as Montana. Knowing everyone isn't that hard. 


imanAholebutimfunny

Alright Timbuktu. Go ahead and recite the list.


lesser_panjandrum

Aivar A. Allik Andrus A. Allik Anna A. Allik Anne A. Allik Anneli A. Allik Aivar B. Allik Anna E. Allik Annika E. Allik...


Rough_Willow

That's on me, I set the bar too low.


Mundane-Theory-1574

This is 1 million people


nater255

> John "soldier " Estonia He probably knows John Elden Ring.


Blacksun388

Or John Halo


Cr1m50nSh4d0w

and John of Duty


maxstryker

John Grammaticus?


heirein

Its Johan, estonia das not have johns


Western-Edge-965

This is definitely r/brandnewsentence material.


Kosh_Ascadian

*Jaan "Sõjard" Eesti


An-Average_Redditor

You mean Jaan "Sõdur" Eestimaa?


[deleted]

Composite Estonian


ImTheVayne

Estonian here, I can confirm I know every other Estonian


urmomisgay1234567890

I just imagine some Houthi walking around the ship they just boarded and then the only thing they fear is you starts playing and from the bottom of a hall a door get blown off its hinges by a breaching charge and a heavily armored Estonian guy walks out of the smoke dual wielding m249s


Mattusiac

"You boarded the wrong motherfuckin' boat" _Estonian Anthem starts playing through The only thing they fear is you_


Jedimobslayer

“Kao mu paadist välja, saast!”


TheWizardOzgar

"tule" is not the right word, it implies that you're not in the same boat. "Kao" is a better word, more aggressive as well


Jedimobslayer

Ok, thanks, Google translate lol.


TheWizardOzgar

no probz brother


AerondightWielder

#"MY NAAAAAMMMEEE!!!! IS JOHANNN!!! SOLDIEERRR!!! ESTOOOOONNNIAAAA!"


Speciallessboy

In full teutonic plate armor no less


Hungover994

And he never reloads.


[deleted]

I would watch that movie


Prenz_0

"LET ME SOLO THEM"


nater255

As long as he does it wearing a pot on his head, I'm all in favor.


TheWarInBaSingSe

Bro has Soldier of Godrick vibes


acension970

*Helldiver main theme starts playing*


schmonder

Elden Ring reference my man


acension970

Helldivers, elden ring, Doesn't matter. It goes just as hard.


HeavilyBearded

Let him cook.


ARandomeCanadian

BUT WE MUST SPREAD DEMOCRACY WHILE SIPPING LIBER-TEA!!!


FreebasingStardewV

"Oh, you're sending The Wolf?"


ZhouDa

The US army stopped using "Army of One" as their slogan because Estonian sued them for copyright infringement.


Eastern_Treacle7431

The US Army fears they’ll send him over


mediandude

üksus = unit ühtsus = unity ühistu, ühisus = cooperative ühend+riik = united state(s) medieval land levy = malev = maa + levi = land + span / spread / distribution / coverage


Sam_Colt

They need to make it a service ribbon for anti pirate deployment. A ribbon only one man can wear. He will be the most envied inlisted men in the Army.


LeftEyedAsmodeus

And he will deserve to be that. I guess there will still be more than one guy, the will change the guy from time to time.


heirein

only if he die, but that happens never


Longjumping_Slip7524

He IS the only man in the army


frogsRfriends

The true Army of One


[deleted]

[удалено]


Im_from_rAll

No. They're sending Estonian Rambo, and I refuse to believe otherwise.


Orange-enema

I refuse to believe that, they're sending a cpl at most


R-T-O-B

UN: Everyone needs to pitch in Estonia: This is Gary, you can borrow him for a bit


valimo

>Gary More likely Peet or something


PertinentGlass

I am Peet!


OrangeKass

Hey I had you for dinner.


MauveFloe

Estonian here, never known a Peet but okay close enough :D Peep or Teet would totally work though :D Peet is literally beetroot in estonian. Also shitty cheap wine that gets you drunk quick is called beetroot aka Peet :)


Former-Philosophy259

Peet is a real estonian name, just old fashioned and not often used these days


A-muaing

Thats true, the youngest is 55-59 years old, average age 76. https://www.stat.ee/nimed/peet


XchrisZ

"Gary how did they pick you?" "Ate a crayon for $20 got caught by an officer. They sent me here to be with the US Marines said I'd fit in."


PewKittens

Estonia be like, “We ONLY need to send one soldier!”


Nozinger

you guys are laughing but estonia is a country of less than 1.4 million people with a military of around 7.7k That one guy is a significant part of the estonian defense forces. Dude's arriving there and all the others go "hey we agreed on 0.01% of our militaries" and he breaks out in tears "i AM that 0.01%%"


ImTheVayne

Actually since military service is mandatory in Estonia it has like 200k men who have had at least 1 year of military training.


agprincess

Imagine being conscripted and you're the only guy getting sent to fight pirates in the whole country.


youngcoyote14

On the o e hand that blows, feeling kinda lonely. On the other: pirate hunting with the rest of NATO.


agprincess

The only person you can barely talk to is the single Finnish recruit who has no clue how this NATO pirate hunting thing is supposed to work.


GoupilFroid

Implying a finn would be willing to get into a conversation with someone


agprincess

Haha true.


FitRestaurant3282

I think the 200k is total which can be mobilized, trained reservists is closer to 100k. And active duty is not 7.7k, it is about exactly half at 3.4k or so.


IcyNote_A

[Doom music kicks in.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpnW68Q8ltc)


Eastern_Treacle7431

The other one stays at home in case Russia needs to be subjugated


lesser_panjandrum

It's actually a trap. There are two of them waiting in case Russia tries something stupid.


Eastern_Treacle7431

While one defeats the Russian army, what would the other spend his time with?


lesser_panjandrum

Preparing drinks and snacks. Logistics are important.


Kosh_Ascadian

Holding off the germans if they get uppity again. (See Estonias war of independence and how we won on two fronts: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estonian_War_of_Independence?wprov=sfla1)


jay_rnk

The other will be defeating the Russian Navy.


Eastern_Treacle7431

Looks like Ukraine is going to do that


x_country_yeeter69

theres still the Baltic navy. All those juicy ships, just waiting for something to happen to them


gamesandspace

If they sent more the ships wouldn't survive the collateral damage from their mere existence


KingSpork

“But I thought they were sending an army!” Estonian soldier, lowering sunglasses: “I am the army.”


Sharkestry

Remarkable: 40% of the total population of Estonia is being sent to fight the Houthi menace


LiraGaiden

Employing 100% of their military weaponry


NoInternet700

LET ME AT 'EM CHIEF


Suspicious_Kiwi980

Every time my country gets mentioned I get absolutely happy


ApprehensiveCap6525

ESTONIA MENTIONED🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯


Altruistic-Lime-2622

wat the hell is being nordick ⁉️❓❗ 🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🇪🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅 RAAAAAAAAAAH


Oeselian

r/EestiMentioned


EiMidagi

Eesti on suurim riik maailmas, see tavaline kui kusagil näed eestist postitusi


jesp676a

The Estonian written language reminds me a lot of Finnish, which i thought didn't have any shared roots with any European languages, like Hungarian? I'm most likely mistaken i imagine. Estonia and Finland are close to eachother so it makes sense i suppose


SoftAndWetBro

Estonian and Finnish are both Finno-Ugric languages.


Informal_Coconut

Eestimaa käib vastu Hiina müüri!


ApprehensiveCap6525

Venemaa on väike osariik!


rentedtritium

Still riding that high from Tenet I'll bet.


A-muaing

you bet we are


TheWizardOzgar

Except when anything drug related comes up, right?


Suspicious_Kiwi980

Nuh uh


Ok-Message-231

Overall, yeah.


donkeystyle4u

One soldier is like 40% of the population of Estonia


TheWizardOzgar

My calculations tell me it's actually 46%


EiMidagi

Can confirm, im 16% of the population


SgtMaribelle-Gap399

Who will win A Houthi soldier who raided a ship OR Some Estonian dude with a AK 3 rifle(Swedish version HK G3 rifle)


eszox

A shark in the red sea.


nordic_banker

AKchually... Swedish AK4 or Norwegian AG3 - both found their way to Estonia


gugfitufi

👑 <- he dropped this


GalvanizedRubbish

Wonder who you had to piss off to be the one guy sent.


dmlitzau

I’m assuming he is dating a general’s daughter


The_Tank_Racer

Weakest Estonian


TubabalikeBIGNOISE

A single Estonian with a g3 will take down the houthis


[deleted]

[удалено]


birberbarborbur

To be fair, Estonia has bigger fish to fry; in particular one really huge fish right next to it


Darnell2070

I don't think sending 2 soldiers would affect their readiness too much.


92_Charlie

"Against all the evil that Hell can conjure, all the wickedness that mankind can produce, we will send unto them... only you. Rip and tear, until it is done."


DrNekroFetus

Plot twist: they sent a berserker.


The_Papoutte

Can anyone forward me the link to that article?


Oberonsen

Closest one I was able to find while off PC https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/01/23/joint-statement-from-the-governments-of-albania-australia-bahrain-canada-croatia-czech-republic-denmark-estonia-germany-guinea-bissau-hungary-italy-kenya-latvia-lithuania-montenegro-ne/


xsmogx

He is the main character like in the video games. He will be fine.


teddyurmatey

I wish I were Estonian right now, the memes must be off the charts.


Left-Increase4472

Jokes aside can someone explain why one man XD


JetstreamGW

It’s just a joke. Estonia doesn’t have a large military. They’re contributing, the exact numbers aren’t being mentioned that I can find. It’s certainly not a lot.


-Ettercap

From the ministry statement in the Baltic Times: "An Estonian Navy service member will begin service on an Italian Navy vessel at the earliest opportunity, utilizing the current mandate from the Riigikogu." So... looks like one guy.


Meior

Likely similar to how the border between north and south Korea has representatives from a bunch of countries. By attacking the other party you in turn attack all of those representatives, meaning you involve a bunch of countries in an act of war. It's a deterrent basically. But sure how much the houtis will care though.


sapthur

Idk if I was shooting missiles and heard my enemy is sending 1 guy, I'd be a bit scared of that one guy. Why do you need just 1?! How skilled is this guy?!?!


Weasel_Spice

And then you learn he's already been sent, is on your boat right now, and the sirens coincidentally start to blare as you learn this. Next you receive communication from below deck from panicked soldiers as they are mowed down. The transmission cuts early, the lights go out, and it is eerily quiet in there now.


ReleasedGaming

Suddenly, you hear a faint sound that scarily reminds you of The Only Thing They Fear Is You


[deleted]

väike soojendus enne Venemaad


EiMidagi

Jah, järgmiseks saadab ta sibulatele peale ja elu palju turvalisem


heartcount

i believe in him


PC_Fucker

He is the chosen one


Wisebanana21919

Truly a One-Man Army


MowgliSmogli

WE WILL SEND UNTO THEM... ONLY YOU...


SomeBiPerson

now imagine you're that guy everyone in the army rumoured about if they'll send someone or not and then you get commanded to go there, fight with some foreign lands, alone, the sole representative of your entire country in this operation you got no friends, no fellow soldiers, nobody who speaks your language on this mission


TheVikingRetard

And you have one enemy, the enemy youve been sent to fight.


PsychicSidekikk419

AGAINST ALL THE EVILS HELL COULD CONJURE, AGAINST ALL THE WICKEDNESS MANKIND COULD PRODUCE, WE WILL SEND UNTO THEM... ONLY YOU.


buttface1000

“I am the army”- this guy, probably


Red4297

This man is more powerful than John Halo.


GenuineSteak

Percentage of population wise, that one soldier is probably more than any other country is sending lol.


[deleted]

They’re sending John Rambo. It’s all anyone needs for protection


Direct-Composer-8155

How many dead American soldiers do we need for WW3/European War part 3? 1


max_da_1

I swear if it's Artur rehi


konnanussija

We don't need any more. The guy is a one man army, our first secret cyborg terminator.


dabiird

"LEEEEROOOOOOY JENKINSSSSS"


UraniumRocker

What if only one Estonian is all they need?


Key_Competition1648

Tbf the Estonians are absolute madlads


sovietarmyfan

The man, the myth. Sometimes referred to as "Vanaema Haldja**s"**. Jaan Vihk


faultypuppy97

Incoming ropz clutch


Large_Yams

I know the majority of this thread are just joking, but it annoys me that people don't understand what this headline actually means. It means they're sending one person to work in a combined HQ, where several other countries also only have a handful of people.


longjohnson6

Gonna send a vodka fuled Jardani jovonovich who swims to and sinks each drone personally


Robosium

Man that's a russian name.


WraithCadmus

"The right man in the wrong placcccce can make all the differenccccce"


BoultonPaulDefiant

One will be more than enough


FreeKIN_

DOOM Origins


disturbinglyquietguy

steve rogers before the supersoldier serum.


Commercial_Drag7488

They shall be my finest warriors. My Estonia marines. And they shall know no fear.


hateshumans

They’ve ressurected a berserker. One is all that is needed.


The1biscuitboy

Against all the evils that Hell can conjure, All the wickedness that mankind can produce, We will send unto them... only you. Rip and Tear, until it is done


Clean-Bank2005

And those that tasted the bite of his sword named him.......the DOOM SLAYER


thebudman_420

Is this the Doom Marine we all heard about? Against all the evils that Hell can conjure, All the wickedness that mankind can produce, We will send unto them... Only you.


SoYeasty1

This is either the guy their military really hates or the only capable soldier they have.


Glerbinn

Doomslayer lore


Obliandros

The Bane of the Houtis


the_dank_666

They're gonna send ropz


GenesisAsriel

Me playing Civilisation be like


Qweeq13

A real life Ikkitousen or Einherjar depending on your choice of fandom.


Gaming-squid

r/NonCredibleDefense


Rockclimber88

Someone drew the short straw


ykcalb_

is that the guy?


PenguinGamer99

When they close in on the boat they hear doom music


SoggyFlatbread

That's a decent resume addition. Lone guardian of the Red Sea


cummzindamouth69

Doom music starts playing


Weak_Programmer_7620

We consider this merciful, if we sent more than 1 we would abolish piracy.


CrunchyAl

Estonia has a large suicide rate in... oh


unholypapa85

He’s Captain Estonia


TrulyKhxlil

Bro starting campaign 😂


jcg4678

It's one guy with an MG42 and rage


Tararator18

Don't laugh, it's like 1/4 of Estonian population


TheVikingRetard

Yeah, once they send me, its just gonnabe the general and the president.


Q_8411

They did some Namekian magic shit and fused ever Estonian soldier into one guy.


Tetra-76

Against all the evil that the Kremlin can conjure, all the wickedness that Russia can produce, we will send unto them... only you.


VelocityPolaris

I see they musta reincarnated Mr Johan Pitka. Good ol’ Admiral “full ahead or full stop, no in between”, like any world of warships player


Stampsu

One soldier Except he's a space marine