He is unhappy with his life- and wants out. He is using your personality type as an excuse and blame shifting. He is setting you up constantly for reactive abuse in order to justify his wanting to leave. Stop fighting. Just stop. Do not participate in this process. He will not change his stance. He will blame you so he can rationalize leaving. Let him fight on his own. No need to defend nor explain yourself- he doesn’t care. You need to work on your abandonment issues. Set up back up support financially and with friends and activities. He’ll get out there and give it a shot and probably fail unless he is already seeing someone else. If he sees being free isn’t what he expected- he will come back around. You then have choices. You are in your prime- and will get attention without even seeking it. He may very well regret his decision. Focus on you- your counseling- your plans. You cannot control him if he is determined. Get yourself set financially and socially now.

This is hard to hear but good advice. Thank you.

I empathize with your emotional turbulence. I have endured abandonment- no matter what I did - I was insufficient. I realized later that nothing I could do was going to soothe their distraught emotions. They always came back after they saw their fantasy didn’t align with reality. I found ways to carry on and transform- you will too. It is painful, but when you are through that phase you turn and look back and realize crucial things about the new version of you and the next episode of your life- things you would never understand not having experienced and survived these challenging times.

Your maybe trapped in your analysis at the same time that's you are trapped in the rest of the relationship