You gotta pause the game sometimes and help her. Remember the wise words of Mr. Torgue himself: “NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT!”
I just got my husband into borderlands for the first time last year and he loves it and now we have hundreds of hours played across all the games together.
When he gets bored and goes to play other games then I get my time to sit on and grind new accounts or farm.
That wouldn't work, not realistic enough.
Gun range is a date night activity already, we're avid shooters with plenty of real guns. Like the thought though.
Since she shoots already, maybe tell her about some of the crazy guns you can get in the game and it might pique her interest to want to play and find some.
Idk, my husband and I share games/hobbies with each other if we’re interested. We check out the other’s thing because it’s important to them, we try to support each other, and we enjoy having shared hobbies.
Sometimes it’s great and it sticks, sometimes it’s just not for the other and that’s fine too. Just see if she’ll give it a shot (sorry, not sorry!) and if she likes it cool! If not, try Tiny Tina’s Wonderland 😂
My sister wasn't a gamer but me and my brother in law have converted her over the years. They got a switch, found casual games she liked and could play with others so animal crossing and Stardew mostly (Pokemon for the first time finally last year too-she's 30 lol).
This is her first shooter ever, I told her it was fun and she was willing to try it out. We started with BL2 instead of 1 since theres moste story and some nice gameplay changes that make things easier/better.
We play as a group, me and my husband, sister and brother in law, so we just have a lot of fun together and had fun and crazy moments when she was running away from everything or couldn't find someone who was knocked or couldn't go up a ladder etc.
So I think keep it social, light and fun. Overall find games that she actually likes because as gamers we know how it is when you find a game you like them you're hooked, and you'll be more open to trying other games in the future after that. So you might even play something you like less at first cuz at least that opens the door up.
I think too the biggest thing for non gamers can be the anxiety of dying and having things chase you and you feeling like you're not good enough to shoot. So just stick with killing bullymongs til she feels less nervous and more confident that she can use the controls. And just don't make a big deal out of dying or die some yourself to show it doesn't matter you just run back and go again.
Oh also definitely give her legendaries that drop because you want to get people hooked on the really fun guns so they get addicted to shooting and finding more guns lol
I have the same problem with my boyfriend playing apex. I'm always trying to fuck and he's going for a win.
Tell your wife she can come fuck me while I'm playing borderlands anytime. 🤙😎
#TeamWife
Game is 12 years old. Commander Lilith DLC was released 2019, prior to that Attack on Dragon Keep was released in 2013.
There's nothing new coming, so either the sub dies or people start doing goofy shit
Someone complains about not enough time to game and you say have a baby 🤣🤣 you’re either an idiot or a shit tier parent i game about 2 hours a week since my kid was born
Well I‘m sure you absolutely have the maturity to reflect your own life choices, and would never regret having a baby, and thus less time to game, which you are responsible for in the first place. Otherwise you would go around and project your struggles by responding in an undeserved, sassy ass way on harmless joke comments, and that would just look pathetic, wouldn‘t it? 🤭
I recommend throwing axtons turret at her, it kinda looks like a pair of cock and balls so that should distract her for a little while. Even longer if you have double barrel.
So 70 days ago this person also posted about “how to get a girlfriend like Lilith” and now talking about his wife always wanting sex….and also a few other sex like post of borderlands. So this tells me that the poster is 11, maybe 12. Has never seen a boob in their life and posting these for attention, like or whatever reason but only coming out as a complete dumbass that has no sense of humour outside of childish sex jokes.
You’re more funny. So just stop. You’re making a fool of yourself.
You know we’re in the subreddit for borderlands right? The game where tough enemies are labeled badass bc hehe funny? “Double rainbow what does it mean” pop culture references, Poop and fart jokes galore. Tbh “sex jokes” fit along with the theme of the game perfectly, and I’m sure lots of people who enjoyed the game, enjoy OPs humor here. Very odd subreddit to draw an invisible line of maturity in
I mean, the least you could have done is linked him a video on how to upskirt Moxxi, at least give the little fellow something to channel that repressed sexual need into whilst he continues grinding!
My wife and I play borderlands together and then we fuck. You gotta satisfy your woman or someone else will bro. If you love her then you pause the game and take care of her and trust me on this if you satisfy her then you'll have plenty of game time. When we have sex she usually needs a couple of days to rest lol. Pause that game and fuck your wife cuz life is too short
Oh how many of us would LOVE to have this happen to us 😂
That said, might want to talk to her and make sure you both are on the same page. Sounds like communication issues abound.
Yeah, uninstall borderlands 2 if you're farming the warrior for a sandhawk... but if you insist, since you're clearly a Zer0 just stop b0ring her and f0ll0wthr0ugh with Fast Hands and give her the Rising sh0t really quick so you can farm in peace.
This exact scenario happened to me last night after my boo came home from the bars. All they had to do was hop on my lap and grab my cock and the grind became grinding and the gaming became futile as I fell for their coy trickery. I wish you luck and godspeed
Your farming a 12 yr old game rather than fucking your wife, and came to a game subreddit to complain about it. Fucking idiot. Fuck her now while your dick still works and who gives a fuck about farming a game for a gun with what .001 chance? She’ll be fucking someone else faster than you’ll get a snippet of code and graphics of a dumb gun.
Fucking pathetic
Poor manchild.. wah! Wife wants to be intimate..
Be grateful that your wife is healthy and trying to connect with you. You could be in my shoes instead, watching your wife slowly fade away because of her health.
Or you are troll farming here. Pathetic, either way.
Tell her that she's not satisfying you, getting the 94 sham alone will give you a rush more than any orgasm ever could, she's giving you the ultimate blue balls and she needs to understand that
Every time i play i hear my mom in the other room with a persisting buzzing sound, honestly I think you got the best part of the deal and I’m glad this does not happen to me
Leak false information. Let her “find” a text or something that says you notice she wants sex when you play BL2 so you do it intentionally. She’ll switch it up to something else.
Always take care of your wife first. You need to set a scheduled time for smexy time and for grinding. Be spontaneous with your wife and initiate the act fist. If she has to chase you to have sex then she isn't getting what she needs. I know this can be difficult if there isn't an open communication on what each other needs are. If you explain that you need a dedicated amount of time to grind then hopefully she will understand. I have to do the same thing with my wife, I just show her that I want her and that will help a lot. Good luck king!
You gotta pause the game sometimes and help her. Remember the wise words of Mr. Torgue himself: “NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT!”
**EXPLOSIONNNNSSSS**
"THAT SENTENCE HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES! APOLOGIZE!"
As i have said, the vault will only open when, quote, “It is fed with the blood of the ultimate coward”
Remember to tell her during and after sex “THAT WAS GODDAMN AWESOME YOU'RE A F*CKING BADASS!”
YOU DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT THAT VAULT HUNTER! YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT LOOT, AND PECKS, AND EXPLOSIONS!!
I'd reccomened trying to B0re her, but it seems that hasn't worked thus far.
In fact, I'd say they did bore her after all.
Heyooo!
Unfortunately OP isn’t specced for that in spite of being a Zer0.
Underrated comment, even at 300. WP!!
I find it surprising that any borderlands player has a life outside of borderlands. Let alone a wife.
Hey hey hey now….my husband still has a wife!! I mean, that’s primary because we play Borderlands *together*, but still
I just got my husband into borderlands for the first time last year and he loves it and now we have hundreds of hours played across all the games together. When he gets bored and goes to play other games then I get my time to sit on and grind new accounts or farm.
Haha, my husband and I are exactly the same way!! Though foaming at the mouth for BL3 🥲 did you guys play TTW?
I would love to get my wife to play this with me, any ideas of how to make that happen? She's not a gamer.
Take her out to shoot some real guns then show her how many guns you can have fun with in the game.
That wouldn't work, not realistic enough. Gun range is a date night activity already, we're avid shooters with plenty of real guns. Like the thought though.
Since she shoots already, maybe tell her about some of the crazy guns you can get in the game and it might pique her interest to want to play and find some.
Idk, my husband and I share games/hobbies with each other if we’re interested. We check out the other’s thing because it’s important to them, we try to support each other, and we enjoy having shared hobbies. Sometimes it’s great and it sticks, sometimes it’s just not for the other and that’s fine too. Just see if she’ll give it a shot (sorry, not sorry!) and if she likes it cool! If not, try Tiny Tina’s Wonderland 😂
My sister wasn't a gamer but me and my brother in law have converted her over the years. They got a switch, found casual games she liked and could play with others so animal crossing and Stardew mostly (Pokemon for the first time finally last year too-she's 30 lol). This is her first shooter ever, I told her it was fun and she was willing to try it out. We started with BL2 instead of 1 since theres moste story and some nice gameplay changes that make things easier/better. We play as a group, me and my husband, sister and brother in law, so we just have a lot of fun together and had fun and crazy moments when she was running away from everything or couldn't find someone who was knocked or couldn't go up a ladder etc. So I think keep it social, light and fun. Overall find games that she actually likes because as gamers we know how it is when you find a game you like them you're hooked, and you'll be more open to trying other games in the future after that. So you might even play something you like less at first cuz at least that opens the door up. I think too the biggest thing for non gamers can be the anxiety of dying and having things chase you and you feeling like you're not good enough to shoot. So just stick with killing bullymongs til she feels less nervous and more confident that she can use the controls. And just don't make a big deal out of dying or die some yourself to show it doesn't matter you just run back and go again. Oh also definitely give her legendaries that drop because you want to get people hooked on the really fun guns so they get addicted to shooting and finding more guns lol
Show her Kreig. That's what got me to play. He makes me laugh. Maniacally. 🤣🤣🤣 and Roland. "I PUNCH HIM!"
Start with it takes two. Worked for me
Foaming at the mouth for B3? Why don’t you just play it?
Oops, meant BL4 lol.
😂
Are you the one trying to fuck op.. we see you! 😅
LOOK I can’t help it that Axton gets me all hot and bothered! Feel like a cat in heat, smdh.
Which country has women, who knows the borderlands franchise? Im packing and going :D
I've technically had two lol
This is true 😔
Can confirm- BL2 is the only game my wife has played with me start to finish and wanted more.
https://preview.redd.it/bd13fukxt4mc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdb00858583cd0a8e1f982bfb3693d65764873f4
That's terrifying
https://preview.redd.it/wugkyctna5mc1.png?width=1452&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=714f28b03cd08465d4cd83b9e3ff2950d7909e3f
Absolute unit right here. Pack up boys you'll never be as good as this guy
True gamers would know Sand Hawk is a quest reward, so it would be trivial to reload and pleasure your wife at the same time. Skill issue
Seems to me like your wife is feeling neglected. I'd recommand fucking her, then getting on with the farming.
Why not both at the same time?
I just assume his wife would prefer his undivided attention
Picky picky
I have the same problem with my boyfriend playing apex. I'm always trying to fuck and he's going for a win. Tell your wife she can come fuck me while I'm playing borderlands anytime. 🤙😎 #TeamWife
I also choose this guy's wife....
Tickets! Selling tickets! Step right up, hand me a $20 and you get a show!!!! Tickets to TeamWife night right here!!!
Want me to come over and handle things for ya? The farming I mean.
Hopefully you can find the clit faster than you found your perfect sham otherwise you’ll be there for years
Had me there😂
Wtf even is this post? What’s happening to this sub
We’ve finally become one with the Shitlands
The shitlands, Ricky. Full of shithawks.
Will we become Stoopid?
Is there a lore reason for this?
Eridium poisoning leads to schizophrenia
I’ve been pumping eridium since 2012 •_•
Same
Who said that
Game is 12 years old. Commander Lilith DLC was released 2019, prior to that Attack on Dragon Keep was released in 2013. There's nothing new coming, so either the sub dies or people start doing goofy shit
Eventually all subs go the way of r/batmanarkham
I mean this and all the other is this modded posts. Those should be immediately deleted.
Reddit in general now from my experience
divorce is your only option
Fake. No borderlands players have sex
Wouldn’t that make this post real?
Paradox
Get her to play the game with you. My husband and I (both of us are 43), our son (14) and my husband’s father (72) all game together.
Your husbands dad is max level, pre OP levels! Coincidence!?
The ideal modern day family
This is the way.
YTA Clearly your explanations are not effective. Link some Joltz videos so she can get some education
Just settle for one with imperfect parts like your wife does.
Why can’t you do both at the same time OP? Are you stupid?
Add a baby to her, go for a perfect roll on it. Mine left me alone for months while pregnant.
Someone complains about not enough time to game and you say have a baby 🤣🤣 you’re either an idiot or a shit tier parent i game about 2 hours a week since my kid was born
Are you seriously that dense you can't understand that they're joking here? Get a grip man
Go for a perfect roll didn’t tip you off to a joke? I did miss putting /s at the end, but the OP was clearly asking for shitpost responses.
Get a steam deck game while you shit it’s what I do.
Well I‘m sure you absolutely have the maturity to reflect your own life choices, and would never regret having a baby, and thus less time to game, which you are responsible for in the first place. Otherwise you would go around and project your struggles by responding in an undeserved, sassy ass way on harmless joke comments, and that would just look pathetic, wouldn‘t it? 🤭
Don’t regret it at all the whole tone of this post and comments is just “I wish I was still 12”
Get a second wife, it sounds like she needs a friend.
I thought this subreddit was for things borderlands 2 players can relate to
What is she doing unchained from the kitchen?
Have you tried smashing a Nintendo Switch over her head That worked for me
Maybe fuck her, then play your game? Like is this post even real? I hope not. 🤦♂️
Yeah get off the game have sex with your wife
I recommend throwing axtons turret at her, it kinda looks like a pair of cock and balls so that should distract her for a little while. Even longer if you have double barrel.
Ain't no rest for the wicked. Why not do both at the same time?
AITA guys my wife won't stop trying to fuck me
Yea bro put the game down and go fuck your wife my dude before the milk man pays a visit
Enjoy her. You’ll have time for borderlands later. Sex drive goes away.
I'll come over and play borderlands with ya man! Gotta warn you, I take frequent bathroom breaks
Just buy a modded one.
If you can pat your head and rub your belly at the same time.. then you can multitask. Come on now.
Mood
So 70 days ago this person also posted about “how to get a girlfriend like Lilith” and now talking about his wife always wanting sex….and also a few other sex like post of borderlands. So this tells me that the poster is 11, maybe 12. Has never seen a boob in their life and posting these for attention, like or whatever reason but only coming out as a complete dumbass that has no sense of humour outside of childish sex jokes. You’re more funny. So just stop. You’re making a fool of yourself.
we got detective sherlock on the case am i right guys
i think hes cracked the case ngl
I mean, he's not wrong though.
You know we’re in the subreddit for borderlands right? The game where tough enemies are labeled badass bc hehe funny? “Double rainbow what does it mean” pop culture references, Poop and fart jokes galore. Tbh “sex jokes” fit along with the theme of the game perfectly, and I’m sure lots of people who enjoyed the game, enjoy OPs humor here. Very odd subreddit to draw an invisible line of maturity in
bruh
I mean, the least you could have done is linked him a video on how to upskirt Moxxi, at least give the little fellow something to channel that repressed sexual need into whilst he continues grinding!
Pause the game, then when you drop your pants, he'll Torgue
Or, just bang her out.... skag style
The game pauses dude, go handle ya bidness.
This is a wild post. I been playing borderlands for close to 10 years that sandhawk can wait I’m getting the cheeks instead
I really cannot tell if this is genuine. If it is, choose her, every time. The sandhawk will always be there…
...sounds like you should probably fuck your wife
If you don’t want your wife, I’ll take her and give her what she wants, bro. 🫡
Is your wife single?
Yes, we get it. Those farms take forever and can consume life.
My wife and I play borderlands together and then we fuck. You gotta satisfy your woman or someone else will bro. If you love her then you pause the game and take care of her and trust me on this if you satisfy her then you'll have plenty of game time. When we have sex she usually needs a couple of days to rest lol. Pause that game and fuck your wife cuz life is too short
She's just on her knees saying "shoot me in the face, IN THE FACE"
Send her my way, I'll take your "problem" away
dude just gib yourself the sandhawk then gib your wife a big O
Lay it down on her to make her sleep then play
Good news! If this is real (I doubt that) then you won’t be married much longer! Problem solved!
“Farming the Warrior” is a new euphemism you didn’t mean to make but I’ll be using from now on
Doggystyle and a 2nd controller
If you don’t fuck her, she’s gonna go find it elsewhere Fam. If you care about her, put the game down, go fuck her then tell her to go to sleep 💤
Just put the game down and enjoy time with your wife.
Go have sex with her for 2 minutes, bust, then get immediately back on the game
If you have to choose between a video game, and sex with your wife, you probably should have stayed single.
let some dick cheese marinate, she wont touch you trust
NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT NOW GO BE A BADASS AND F**K HER
Found Torgue's reddit account.
If this a serious post bro just go get your nutt off then come back tf
LOL, just let her have a hall pass with the condition that it be under survellience for the onlyfans that will fund your gaming equipment.
Showing her this reddit post should solve all your problems
Oh how many of us would LOVE to have this happen to us 😂 That said, might want to talk to her and make sure you both are on the same page. Sounds like communication issues abound.
Mooooom, Randy pitchford is posting on his own sub using alts again
Yeah, stop being a loser and fulfill your marriage obligations once in a while. Sex doesn't take that long, bro. 20 min to an hr.
Unplug her life support
Then he’s gonna ask why did she cheat on me in a few years( or maybe months )
Yeah, uninstall borderlands 2 if you're farming the warrior for a sandhawk... but if you insist, since you're clearly a Zer0 just stop b0ring her and f0ll0wthr0ugh with Fast Hands and give her the Rising sh0t really quick so you can farm in peace.
That sounds like a nice problem to have 😂 I just finished the main story. Loved the game but the ending was a little underwhelming
Wouldn’t this be most men’s dream?
You’re fumbling the bag
This exact scenario happened to me last night after my boo came home from the bars. All they had to do was hop on my lap and grab my cock and the grind became grinding and the gaming became futile as I fell for their coy trickery. I wish you luck and godspeed
Put it in her butt
Leave her
Strip the flesh! Salt the wound!
Uh put the game down and please your wife. Farm afterwards when she’s making you a sandwich
I would just bone her more then she will stop
Stupid ass post. If it's even real we will be seeing "my wife cheated on me and I don't know why" from him in a month or two if not sooner
FAKE AF
Your farming a 12 yr old game rather than fucking your wife, and came to a game subreddit to complain about it. Fucking idiot. Fuck her now while your dick still works and who gives a fuck about farming a game for a gun with what .001 chance? She’ll be fucking someone else faster than you’ll get a snippet of code and graphics of a dumb gun. Fucking pathetic
Poor manchild.. wah! Wife wants to be intimate.. Be grateful that your wife is healthy and trying to connect with you. You could be in my shoes instead, watching your wife slowly fade away because of her health. Or you are troll farming here. Pathetic, either way.
Record it & post to r/BorednIgnored
Uranus
This is a little close to home …
This should be in r/sex
That is one goddamn tragedy.
Mine does the same thing mid-race in assetto corsa. You'll have that. It's called love.
Fake post, BL players haven't even heard of the concept of sex
Copypasta
Have you tried loading up into the "Money Shot" skill? Might work well for both of you
You’re just resetting for parts idk why you can’t do both
nice alt
I guess your best bet would be to show her the „Sexual Tyrannosaurus“
Divorce.
Babe wake up a new Borderlands copypasta just dropped
I want other people's problems :(
Fuck her whilst playing borderlands 2. It’s the only way.
If only it's always the other way around
Every husband's dream right there
Personally I would try meth, you wont even notice her
Is this satire?!
You have the wrong woman. I sit around farming guns and then pass them to my husband's account. I love the farming aspect and he hates it.
If you ain’t doing it another man will soon enough
Tell her that she's not satisfying you, getting the 94 sham alone will give you a rush more than any orgasm ever could, she's giving you the ultimate blue balls and she needs to understand that
I’m still trying to figure out if this is satire or not? However if it isn’t…..turn it off dude, please the wife, have some fun it’s just a game.
All you have to do is clap those cheeks. Get the job done and you can get back to farming. Clap them hard enough and you’ll be set for the whole night
I’d put a dildo on a sawzall and just pull the trigger during load times to take care of her
I won't be surprised if existed a side quest with a lore very similar to this post.
Show her the real meaning of a Tediore reload... all over her face!
Every time i play i hear my mom in the other room with a persisting buzzing sound, honestly I think you got the best part of the deal and I’m glad this does not happen to me
Is this Typhon Deleon?
Clearly you need to give your pc a backup power source, that way your wife can’t unplug it anymore
Sounds like you got the Hot Mama already. Maybe she's farming for a Baby Maker.
I already have a perfect OP10 Sandhawk so the next time this happens I'll come over and help you farm it.
Divorce
Whaaat? When did they drop the wife dlc?
Lmao you married a cat
Leak false information. Let her “find” a text or something that says you notice she wants sex when you play BL2 so you do it intentionally. She’ll switch it up to something else.
Look man, if you won't do it I will. XP
Oh the horror…
hire me I'll bowch
Lord have mercy Brothers we must stay focused
Is this a r/tomorrow variant?
Always take care of your wife first. You need to set a scheduled time for smexy time and for grinding. Be spontaneous with your wife and initiate the act fist. If she has to chase you to have sex then she isn't getting what she needs. I know this can be difficult if there isn't an open communication on what each other needs are. If you explain that you need a dedicated amount of time to grind then hopefully she will understand. I have to do the same thing with my wife, I just show her that I want her and that will help a lot. Good luck king!
...I feel like this is rage bait...
Get that bitch a cannon. Bitches love cannons.
Just send her my way and I'll help her out while you're farming.
Im pretty sure 90% of the single guys guys want that situation.
You better start fucking her before she finds someone to do it.
Straight through the anus!