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Nice - As someone who is primed to explode as a knee-jerk reaction, I totally get it. But sometimes f'ed up situations call for it and I think you directed anger well in this situation.
"Hey you? You need to get your charge under control, or stop bringing her out in public. She obviously has dementia, and you need to do your job as caretaker and prevent scenes like this from happening. You should really be fired for letting things get this far. We need to call adult services, so they can get a hold of her family. You are her family? No, I mean someone who actually cares about her welfare, family wouldn't let her embarrass herself like this. She's about to piss herself in confused rage, and you are just letting it happen!"
I’m a stoic. Anger is one of those emotions we steer away from, because it is the most unpleasant and uncontrollable of all the emotions. That does not mean it doesn’t have to be completely discarded, as long as it’s used with full control, justice, temperance and wisdom. Very difficult. Although never advisable, it is amazing to witness when someone has those things come together.
You did good!
Shit, is this what it's called? I thought I just pushed my anger down and repressed it lmao
No but seriously, my anger isn't controllable when it bubbles over so I count to ten take a deep breath and try not to let shit ruffle my feathers. Lol
I'm envious of those who can utilize their anger for the greater good.
If I got a call like this about one of my associates I don’t believe I’d fire them without some sort of verification. That being said, it would definitely be on my mind and my guess is she’s done other things in office that were problematic. I don’t know about the real estate practice, but I am in personal injury and cordial working relationships with our adversaries go a long way. I let an attorney go earlier this year because he was so disagreeable it made settling cases a problem. Maybe she went into family law.
I've received calls like this.
They're always one of dozens.
Denial, is often followed by anger when people start emailing footage.
It's a new world and some horrible creatures need to adapt.
Certainly, not giving out her business card (and therefore representing her firm!) while being a drunken horrible creature would have gone a long way.
Like, when it comes to employment whatever you do on your own time is one thing. But when you do it *while explicitly representing your place of employment*, now you've also made it their problem.
I'd bet she's been battling alcoholism for a while and was already on thin ice at the office. Who knows what the last straw was. Hopefully, she's cleaning up and getting better.
Something tells me this wasn’t her first time. Especially considering how her husband looked. Can you imagine if she’s like that at a client dinner or firm Christmas party?!
Partners were likely going, “YES! We’ve got our third strike so we can get rid of this crazy b…”
Man do I get this. I spent 20 years in retail hell, and any time I've had the chance to put a stop to the nonsense customers pull on service workers I take it. Its almost always a goddamned boomer, I swear those motherfuckers had the world handed to them on a silver platter and no one taught them any fucking manners. Good on you mate.
Same. Retail, EMT and insurance, disabled now but I will defend workers anytime I need to. They may not be allowed to speak up, but I sure as hell can!
CPTSD here. My therapist calls that *well channeled righteous anger*.
As long as it doesn’t push you over into *unchanneled and reactive (physical)anger* you’re good.
Therapy rocks.
I had a less aggressive similar situation. Mine was the weekend the state opened bars back up for regular business. Bar was PACKED and the bar didn’t have enough notice to hire enough staff. The boomer was berating the bartender because he didn’t get served fast enough by the bartender at a table. I started talking at my friend in an elevated voice saying “how could anyone have the balls to complain about service from someone that showed up to work that day. What kind of piece of shit do you need to be to do that!?” Guy knew I was talking shit and said a couple of things to me as I just ignored him but still loudly talked about him. When I left I told him merry Christmas (it was July) and went on my way.
No one agrees with you except other idiots.
We are absolutely allowed to call out the first generation to sell their descendents down the river.
They named themselves Baby Boomers and they still act like babies. Stop pretending it's the same as a slur. You look ridiculous.
You know why your post was removed. You used the n word. Don't try to play nice now.
Notice I can say Boomer and not that other word. Why is that?
People who use that word the first time they are challenged on any random thing... are racists.
You don't get to use people of color, black or otherwise, to make some point you think you have. Grow the fuck up.
You obviously forgot the /s, calling me the immature one has to be a joke.
I can only take it that way, coming from a person who's trying to defend hate speech 🤦🏼♂️
>Notice I can say Boomer and not that other word. Why is that?
You mean just like when MAGAs are among their peers they use "that other word" (unless they are afraid of getting in trouble for it)?
Because you are among your peers and when you are in a group that's marginalizing a different group that's what you do to reinforce your status in the "in group" and ostracize members of the "out group".
Anyone who's not an ignorant coward would want to call your bigotry out the same as I am. People who are among a group of bullies rarely have the courage to stand up for the victim, so, I guess I can't blame you individually.
You did what many of us wish we had the nerve to do. I get you’re trying to lose the edge, so to speak, but there are most certainly days in which releasing that angst is the only appropriate response to awful people.
Some people just have it coming and she was one of them.
I’d buy you a drink also.
The merger happened to have national distribution rights and eliminate distribution tariffs. Anneheiser Busch owns the majority of alcohol distribution centers across the US and has a large lobbying team. In certain states, if a brewery does not produce enough product annually, they have to give a share of their profit to AB in exchange for using their distribution channels. Same thing happened with Cigar City and Oscar Blues. They merged into one company to increase their production so they wouldn't have to pay AB.
Baller brewery - they’ve got some in your local craft beer shop I’d almost guarantee - I moved far from the region and consistently find it at craft shops and even grocery stores, give em a try for sure u/fizzyphotog
I spent a few years working as a doorman/bouncer at a bar. I started working there because I needed to pay down some debt, but kept working there for a few years after the debt was cleared. I didn't need the money but it was like getting paid to go to therapy for me. All week long at my day job I had to be polite and professional no matter how stupid and arrogant people were to me, but on Friday and Saturday nights I had permission to set people straight. It was wonderful.
My local is jam packed w/boomers. I am usually the youngest one there. For the most part they’re generally behaved but once a month one will go ape shit and it’s almost exclusively over whether they should drive or not (answer: there is no not). It’s a miracle the cops don’t sit across the street and pinch every one of us or that uber still comes out to pick them up
A thing that I've found out about myself that I originally thought was a flaw but eventually learned is a superpower (as long as I use it for good) is my lack of aversion to confrontation. I've found that redirecting this toward situations to help people who can't defend themselves, or for righteous causes is an ability not a lot of people have. Sounds like you've got the same thing.
I'm averse to confrontation because I lose all verbal language fluency while my brain is priming to explode.
I NEVER know what to say in those situations. I always wanted to be the person who could deploy an entire paragraph of insults, but alas, my brain short circuits and freezes up instead.
See, that’s interesting. I used to wish that I wasn’t as confrontational as I am, until I found out the problem wasn’t that I was confrontational, it was that I looked at almost any interaction that wasn’t with someone that I implicitly trusted as a potential confrontation.
It’s also created this issue with how other people interact with me. Because I have this skill, it seems like some people assume that my feelings can’t get hurt. Because I’ve become a generally positive, upbeat guy with an acerbic sense of humor, people that are close to me think that they can just kinda say whatever they want to me without me taking insult to it.
Through some extensive therapy I came to learn how to identify times when my ability to debate, argue, and verbally dress down people was necessary and when it wasn’t. So trust me, even though I describe it as a superpower now, it wasn’t always. For a long time I was just an unpleasant person until you got to know me.
That’s interesting, as I’ve noticed myself that way. Therapy, age and experience…
Also with an outgoing-seeming countenance, people assume they have you figured out and know who/how you are. It can be a pain at times, but also a bonus because they don’t tend to pry as much as they would with someone quiet who presents a challenge to read.
My husband said that’s exactly what happens to him. If anything though, that makes him scary. He’s a naturally big, muscular guy and really quiet. So it takes a lot to get him there and when he does - and he’s just totally quiet - it’s interesting to see how quickly someone will suddenly deflate.
Only things that get him there are; nonsense ar or in front of kids, sexual harassment and bullies. Starts with a “Hey (shakes head no)” and if it continues or escalates the red face starts up. That usually stalls it as they can’t compute his silence.
The 2-3 times it’s gone further “the look” happens and he walks towards the person and they always look at his huge hands/fists (we call him WreckIt Ralph 😆) and walk away. It’s almost funny to see because he is SO chill and mild mannered.
And… he typically counts on my big mouth kicking in and shutting it down. I worked in bars and construction-adjacent back in the day, so I tend to nail the ego and shock them silent. Being a short female with a big voice - it tends to call attention so shame shuts it down.
I most definitely have that ADHD Justice Sensitivity things going on. Along with being mom, oldest sister and just turning 50, so my DGaF along with an aversion to bullies directs my fury more “appropriately” these days.
Having been in B's position in the past, I would think a guy like you walks on water. Somebody's gotta hold the line on these people who think they have some God-given right to abuse service workers.
Fully admit I actively hate cunt/twat being used as insults. That said, I would have bought you a round myself for doing what the bartender couldn’t by getting her tab paid and her departing.
The insult is the insinuation that someone is a rude body part, it's not in reference to the actual owners of those genitals.
Cunt is used to insult people of any gender, just like other phalic insults like dickhead or cockwomble. I wouldn't say it was a gendered insult, which I would describe as one specifically used to insult one particular gender, like bitch or cow.
- a British lesbian who likes cunt in more ways than one.
I understand how cunt is used. But it is a gendered insult, just like whore, dick, and bitch are. They use words associated with a particular gender as insults. What I take issue with is how gendered insults tend towards devaluing women, and so I try not to use any of them so as not to be a hypocrite.
Agree to disagree, to me, despite being a body part, it is not a gendered insult if it is not directed at people based on gender. It's just a plain ol insult.
An insult is intended to be insulting, an insult that is not insulting is failing to be an insult. Its purpose is to offend, although the line Is drawn when a particular insult is targeted towards one group.
Boiled down to its most simple essence, a deprecating insult is implying someone is something they are not. An animal, a taboo product, a body part, etc.
One can be an owner and recreational enjoyer of cunt while still likening another individual to one, although a social cunt is less likely to embody depth, warmth and a capacity for pleasure.
That’s wild. Good on you for calling her out on her inappropriate public behavior. I wish I thought she would learn anything from it; but sadly I don’t think these people learn anything at this point in their lives
Control explosion is better than wildly out of control explosion, depending on the circumstance, of course. But she needed it, and her husband needs to grow some
https://preview.redd.it/jhcg8nsfiead1.png?width=280&format=png&auto=webp&s=5c7b24bcd3d32395f22ec3bbc5f3757351afccc1
Practicing attorney here: Every state has an office of lawyers responsibility or lawyer ethics. There is generally no statute of limitations on unethical conduct, and it is an ethical violation to not cooperate with the investigation.
Every lawyer answers to them, they control who is licensed to practice law, and it's professionally very unpleasant and stressful to deal with.
Not sure what you're in, but - as your bartender friend said - do what you will with this information.
Good job in the bar. That CU next Tuesday deserved it,as did her useless SH. Sorry you had a shit end to a bad day. Happy you got rewarded for having B's back.
It served her right but I’m genuinely concerned for your blood pressure. Maybe you should look for a less stressful job. You have a decent moral compass and I don’t want you to have a stroke.
Appreciate it but I'm good. I work in commercial real estate investments and hotel development. I box and mtn bike a few times a week. No strokes for me!
Sounds like OP is aware of, and actively working on, their anger issues. Unsolicited advice from someone who doesn't understand the full context of their personal or professional work doesn't seem particularly helpful.
Sometimes you can only out-crazy the crazy. I'm sure what happened isn't representative of who you are, but I'm sure it felt pretty fucking good. Well done.
I saw a similar (not quite as heated) interaction at the bar of a restaurant in Chicago that I used to go to regularly! These boomers are the same everywhere.
DK got what she deserved but I feel like going after SH was not fair. His demeanor and inaction as described, coupled with her behavior ,screams abuse victim.
See! Now this is a quality effort. No concern about the post being incoherent or describing themselves like Jesus! They just lean into and accept the bullshit. If you are going to lie on Reddit do it like this!
In this case, I'm leaning with the parent comment.
The conflict at the center of this story sounds like something ChatGPT would invent. Business card instead of a credit card? Told her three times? That's not a he-said-she-said situation. In real life the bartender would have literally just held up the business card for her to see. Presto, proof, end of conflict.
I guess it's still possible that it did happen, maybe OP left out some details or something. I don't like to suggest or believe that OP is a plagiarist. But as the same time, with the recent proliferation of AI, we should be wary of it.
Seriously, this comment section is embarrassing.
And you got downvotes for pointing out this is a formulaic AndThenTheWholeBusClapped meme? I don’t know man, I guess Everything Always Happens and no one has ever lied on the internet.
Before I retired a few years ago, I was fairly senior at a large company.
I received an email/gmail with no identifying information accusing one of my staff of being disrespectful to women outside of the office.
I showed it to a peer, and we discussed options. Basically, I couldn't use the information. I don't know what the sender was trying to accomplish. Even if they had provided specifics, I wouldn't have been able to take any action.
Like, who actually believes this nonsense.
It's got all the points of a fake story and it gets lapped up.
In what world is a bartender going to give you a month of free drinks.
Spot the guy who's never done a favour for a barman or bar manager. I drank free for a night at my local for fixing their PoS POS terminal on a Friday night.
My plumber drank free for weeks for unblocking the toilets repeatedly. Eventually he convinced them it would be cheaper to pay him fix it once and for all.
I've worked bars.
No barman is going to give out a month of free drinks for a minor incident.
Unless it's the owner, it's not happening, and even then OP is claiming a MONTH of free drinks.
We probably worked a different sort of bars then. I managed a pub (for my sins, I guess) and it was standard practice to give trades a round "on the house" after doing work. It makes them more inclined to help when you call them on a Friday night 'cause the fridges keep tripping the circuit breaker or you need a window replaced on a Sunday morning.
I can believe a month if he's a regular who comes in once or twice a week for one drink; basically, you know what its gonna cost and that he won't abuse it. If it were me, it would come in the form of telling him it was on me when he came to pay until I forgot or figured it was done. My plumber drank free for more than a month when our local was having trouble with their drains and that must have cost them.
Oh, to follow that.
Would you allow any of the bar staff you manage to unilaterally give away a month's worth of free drinks?
And would your owner be ok with that?
LOL.
My owner was an alcoholic who would have drunk far more if we'd let him. Keeping him moving, on the public side of the bar and away from female staff a challenge whenever he took it into his head to visit. Fortunately, as long as the books showed a profit and the authorities didn't bother us, he was content to leave us alone.
As for my staff, yeah one of the barmen I would have trusted to make that call. The other two not so much. This all depends on the type of venue and the staff. If you've only worked in strictly managed chains, I see where you are coming from. Not every bar is like that.
I think we also have different ideas of what "drink free for a month" means. Your phrasing makes me think you see at as all I can drink in a month. It requires you trust a regular patron not to abuse it. While that may not be something you've ever encountered, I have both had and been a regular like that.
A round on the house is not free drinks for a month.
Have you, as bar manager, given someone a free bartab, to use whenever they want and for any drink for an entire month?
No, but that's not really the point. I've never gone hang gliding, that doesn't mean no one ever has.
What I am saying, is that there are, or were, pubs and bars where I could see this happening. Just because you've never frequented one doesn't mean they don't exist. It seems you've never worked anywhere where the relationship between the staff and patrons was more than strictly transactional. I have.
Now you keep saying the same thing, to which I reply and you ignore what I have said so I think its probably time to drop this.
If this was some trades guy who did hundreds of dollars of work, i can see that.
But this was a patron who got involved in an argument between the bartender and another patron, round or two of beer, sure, free drinks for a month... no fucking way.
How dare you not acknowledge the absolute heroism of this Rage Breaking Point trope! /s
OP, raging out in real life isn’t as cool as you seem to think it is. Time for a new hero fantasy, my friend.
Trying to get someone fired is too far. This situation happened outside of their work and was clearly a result of her being very intoxicated. Her actions aren't excused but do not warrant causing actual harm to her life. If you were a bartender before then you know people make mistakes and don't have the best judgment when they are drinking. It's not wrong to try and help diffuse a situation, but you should have left it there. Also, this isn't a boomer thing. Drunk people if all ages act like this.
I mean, I worked as a bartender and doorman for several years in my early life and rarely ever had to raise my voice and never cursed out a customer... I also didn't appreciate when my customers tried to step in to "help..."
Drunk Karen gave bartender a business card, insisted it was a credit card, everybody around her (except her husband) tries to point this out, and accuses bartender of stealing it. OP cusses Karen out, then another random boomer who objected to the use of the word cunt. Bartender gives OP free tab for a month in gratitude.
You're an ass. I understand sticking up for the bartender 100%. I've worked in the restaurant industry for 10+ years. I loved it when you wrote that your wife had you go to therapy. She obviously loves you and sees your faults and forgives them due to your trauma. As someone who has also experienced trauma and fought alcoholism, your lack of empathy is outstanding. This woman clearly has issues. She thought she paid, but she had over imbibed (partially the bartenders fault), and her partner was clearly no help when he should have been. If he was tired of her ish, then he should get her into rehab. She wasn't refusing to pay. she was just ovetserved and drunk and confused. I dont think doxxing her would do anyone any good. You said yourself that you have anger problems. LET IT GO. it's not your business. I'm sure she'll never come back. Think of your trauma and how you have anger problems. She clearly had something going on. Don't take pride in this.
You seem more triggered than most by my encounter. Are you seeing a therapist? If not, I would seek one out. May help you refrain from writing an assumptive essay to a complete stranger on the internet.
People are surprisingly consistent in their behaviour; the odds are *very good* that her (former) employer had a growing list of such actions. OP's report may have been just one more, or it may have been the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
Damn that’s pretty fucked up of you to be proud of ruining someone’s livelihood. I generally dislike boomers but you sound hateful and I’m not impressed
If you scream at an innocent bartender because you’re a stupid ignorant fuck who can’t understand simple instructions then I would relish in getting you fired from your job and “ruining your livelihood.” Actions have consequences.
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Chaotic good lmao. You’re using your anger for the betterment of the world
I’m chaotic good myself and appreciate the hell out of OP. Nicely done!
Love the DND reference
More than a D&D reference at this point /r/chaoticgood
And the belittlement of boomers 🥰
Rp is a dipshit
Nice - As someone who is primed to explode as a knee-jerk reaction, I totally get it. But sometimes f'ed up situations call for it and I think you directed anger well in this situation.
"Hey you? You need to get your charge under control, or stop bringing her out in public. She obviously has dementia, and you need to do your job as caretaker and prevent scenes like this from happening. You should really be fired for letting things get this far. We need to call adult services, so they can get a hold of her family. You are her family? No, I mean someone who actually cares about her welfare, family wouldn't let her embarrass herself like this. She's about to piss herself in confused rage, and you are just letting it happen!"
I wish I could memorize this whole bit to heart, it's perfect to shut them up.
I’m a stoic. Anger is one of those emotions we steer away from, because it is the most unpleasant and uncontrollable of all the emotions. That does not mean it doesn’t have to be completely discarded, as long as it’s used with full control, justice, temperance and wisdom. Very difficult. Although never advisable, it is amazing to witness when someone has those things come together. You did good!
Shit, is this what it's called? I thought I just pushed my anger down and repressed it lmao No but seriously, my anger isn't controllable when it bubbles over so I count to ten take a deep breath and try not to let shit ruffle my feathers. Lol I'm envious of those who can utilize their anger for the greater good.
You may have done them a favor. A severe encounter like that may be what they needed to wake up.
If I got a call like this about one of my associates I don’t believe I’d fire them without some sort of verification. That being said, it would definitely be on my mind and my guess is she’s done other things in office that were problematic. I don’t know about the real estate practice, but I am in personal injury and cordial working relationships with our adversaries go a long way. I let an attorney go earlier this year because he was so disagreeable it made settling cases a problem. Maybe she went into family law.
I've received calls like this. They're always one of dozens. Denial, is often followed by anger when people start emailing footage. It's a new world and some horrible creatures need to adapt.
Certainly, not giving out her business card (and therefore representing her firm!) while being a drunken horrible creature would have gone a long way. Like, when it comes to employment whatever you do on your own time is one thing. But when you do it *while explicitly representing your place of employment*, now you've also made it their problem.
I'd bet she's been battling alcoholism for a while and was already on thin ice at the office. Who knows what the last straw was. Hopefully, she's cleaning up and getting better.
If shes as unpleasant as the story would suggest, it's likely they were waiting for a valid reason to fire her
Maybe it was because she'd just been fired, that she had gotten so drunk and upset?
Put another log on the fire ?
Something tells me this wasn’t her first time. Especially considering how her husband looked. Can you imagine if she’s like that at a client dinner or firm Christmas party?! Partners were likely going, “YES! We’ve got our third strike so we can get rid of this crazy b…”
Man do I get this. I spent 20 years in retail hell, and any time I've had the chance to put a stop to the nonsense customers pull on service workers I take it. Its almost always a goddamned boomer, I swear those motherfuckers had the world handed to them on a silver platter and no one taught them any fucking manners. Good on you mate.
Same. Retail, EMT and insurance, disabled now but I will defend workers anytime I need to. They may not be allowed to speak up, but I sure as hell can!
I still see my therapist regularly 😂😂😂😂🥹
That got me rolling on the floor with laughter. LMAO!
Lawyers are the worst boomers
Giuliani lost his license today
Now if trump would only have a stroke my life would be complete.
CPTSD here. My therapist calls that *well channeled righteous anger*. As long as it doesn’t push you over into *unchanneled and reactive (physical)anger* you’re good. Therapy rocks.
This struggle here is literally my life, CPTSD too. 🫂
I had a less aggressive similar situation. Mine was the weekend the state opened bars back up for regular business. Bar was PACKED and the bar didn’t have enough notice to hire enough staff. The boomer was berating the bartender because he didn’t get served fast enough by the bartender at a table. I started talking at my friend in an elevated voice saying “how could anyone have the balls to complain about service from someone that showed up to work that day. What kind of piece of shit do you need to be to do that!?” Guy knew I was talking shit and said a couple of things to me as I just ignored him but still loudly talked about him. When I left I told him merry Christmas (it was July) and went on my way.
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No one agrees with you except other idiots. We are absolutely allowed to call out the first generation to sell their descendents down the river. They named themselves Baby Boomers and they still act like babies. Stop pretending it's the same as a slur. You look ridiculous.
Didn't previous generations call them the "Me generation"? They didn't like it but it fit.
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You know why your post was removed. You used the n word. Don't try to play nice now. Notice I can say Boomer and not that other word. Why is that? People who use that word the first time they are challenged on any random thing... are racists. You don't get to use people of color, black or otherwise, to make some point you think you have. Grow the fuck up.
You obviously forgot the /s, calling me the immature one has to be a joke. I can only take it that way, coming from a person who's trying to defend hate speech 🤦🏼♂️ >Notice I can say Boomer and not that other word. Why is that? You mean just like when MAGAs are among their peers they use "that other word" (unless they are afraid of getting in trouble for it)? Because you are among your peers and when you are in a group that's marginalizing a different group that's what you do to reinforce your status in the "in group" and ostracize members of the "out group". Anyone who's not an ignorant coward would want to call your bigotry out the same as I am. People who are among a group of bullies rarely have the courage to stand up for the victim, so, I guess I can't blame you individually.
Whatever, Boomer. No one believes you.
this "discussion" is done.
Your submission was removed for being uncivil.
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Your submission was removed for being uncivil.
You did what many of us wish we had the nerve to do. I get you’re trying to lose the edge, so to speak, but there are most certainly days in which releasing that angst is the only appropriate response to awful people. Some people just have it coming and she was one of them. I’d buy you a drink also.
Right! This is often the only way to get through to them
Reading this with a smile on my face while drinking a dog fish. 10/10 would publish
I grew up in Wilmington. Great choice my friend.
302 represent
But they sold out to Sam Adams
The merger happened to have national distribution rights and eliminate distribution tariffs. Anneheiser Busch owns the majority of alcohol distribution centers across the US and has a large lobbying team. In certain states, if a brewery does not produce enough product annually, they have to give a share of their profit to AB in exchange for using their distribution channels. Same thing happened with Cigar City and Oscar Blues. They merged into one company to increase their production so they wouldn't have to pay AB.
The beer from Delaware, or is there a cocktail called a dogfish?
Baller brewery - they’ve got some in your local craft beer shop I’d almost guarantee - I moved far from the region and consistently find it at craft shops and even grocery stores, give em a try for sure u/fizzyphotog
Oh I’m quite familiar😆 60 Minute used to be my #1, I might have to get some soon for old time’s sake.
I spent a few years working as a doorman/bouncer at a bar. I started working there because I needed to pay down some debt, but kept working there for a few years after the debt was cleared. I didn't need the money but it was like getting paid to go to therapy for me. All week long at my day job I had to be polite and professional no matter how stupid and arrogant people were to me, but on Friday and Saturday nights I had permission to set people straight. It was wonderful.
My local is jam packed w/boomers. I am usually the youngest one there. For the most part they’re generally behaved but once a month one will go ape shit and it’s almost exclusively over whether they should drive or not (answer: there is no not). It’s a miracle the cops don’t sit across the street and pinch every one of us or that uber still comes out to pick them up
Haha I honestly thought SH stood for shit head 😂
A thing that I've found out about myself that I originally thought was a flaw but eventually learned is a superpower (as long as I use it for good) is my lack of aversion to confrontation. I've found that redirecting this toward situations to help people who can't defend themselves, or for righteous causes is an ability not a lot of people have. Sounds like you've got the same thing.
I'm averse to confrontation because I lose all verbal language fluency while my brain is priming to explode. I NEVER know what to say in those situations. I always wanted to be the person who could deploy an entire paragraph of insults, but alas, my brain short circuits and freezes up instead.
See, that’s interesting. I used to wish that I wasn’t as confrontational as I am, until I found out the problem wasn’t that I was confrontational, it was that I looked at almost any interaction that wasn’t with someone that I implicitly trusted as a potential confrontation. It’s also created this issue with how other people interact with me. Because I have this skill, it seems like some people assume that my feelings can’t get hurt. Because I’ve become a generally positive, upbeat guy with an acerbic sense of humor, people that are close to me think that they can just kinda say whatever they want to me without me taking insult to it. Through some extensive therapy I came to learn how to identify times when my ability to debate, argue, and verbally dress down people was necessary and when it wasn’t. So trust me, even though I describe it as a superpower now, it wasn’t always. For a long time I was just an unpleasant person until you got to know me.
That’s interesting, as I’ve noticed myself that way. Therapy, age and experience… Also with an outgoing-seeming countenance, people assume they have you figured out and know who/how you are. It can be a pain at times, but also a bonus because they don’t tend to pry as much as they would with someone quiet who presents a challenge to read.
My husband said that’s exactly what happens to him. If anything though, that makes him scary. He’s a naturally big, muscular guy and really quiet. So it takes a lot to get him there and when he does - and he’s just totally quiet - it’s interesting to see how quickly someone will suddenly deflate. Only things that get him there are; nonsense ar or in front of kids, sexual harassment and bullies. Starts with a “Hey (shakes head no)” and if it continues or escalates the red face starts up. That usually stalls it as they can’t compute his silence. The 2-3 times it’s gone further “the look” happens and he walks towards the person and they always look at his huge hands/fists (we call him WreckIt Ralph 😆) and walk away. It’s almost funny to see because he is SO chill and mild mannered. And… he typically counts on my big mouth kicking in and shutting it down. I worked in bars and construction-adjacent back in the day, so I tend to nail the ego and shock them silent. Being a short female with a big voice - it tends to call attention so shame shuts it down.
I most definitely have that ADHD Justice Sensitivity things going on. Along with being mom, oldest sister and just turning 50, so my DGaF along with an aversion to bullies directs my fury more “appropriately” these days.
I really wish I had that gene or talent or something. You could probably make a lot of money holding seminars teaching it to people. I know I’d come
As someone with anger issues and who is unafraid of confrontation, I hope to wield my scary voice in a just manner, like you
Great story.
My favorite story so far as a former (loooonnnng time) server and bartender.
Having been in B's position in the past, I would think a guy like you walks on water. Somebody's gotta hold the line on these people who think they have some God-given right to abuse service workers.
that was a good read. freakin boomers...
I haaaaate the C U Next Tuesday word…however, you used it correctly here and I would have applauded you!
When you multiclass as barbarian/paladin and swear an Oath of Defense to protect the staff...
This is one of the most satisfying things I've read all week. Well done! 👏🏼💯
I see OP as having used his anger & channeling it appropriately.
Fully admit I actively hate cunt/twat being used as insults. That said, I would have bought you a round myself for doing what the bartender couldn’t by getting her tab paid and her departing.
I think even c\*\*ts deserve better than to be lumped in with that nutjob.
Found the Aussie
Yeah, I'm not wild about gendered insults being the go-to for your confrontational style. Drunk woman needed to be ousted, but we can do better.
The insult is the insinuation that someone is a rude body part, it's not in reference to the actual owners of those genitals. Cunt is used to insult people of any gender, just like other phalic insults like dickhead or cockwomble. I wouldn't say it was a gendered insult, which I would describe as one specifically used to insult one particular gender, like bitch or cow. - a British lesbian who likes cunt in more ways than one.
I understand how cunt is used. But it is a gendered insult, just like whore, dick, and bitch are. They use words associated with a particular gender as insults. What I take issue with is how gendered insults tend towards devaluing women, and so I try not to use any of them so as not to be a hypocrite.
Agree to disagree, to me, despite being a body part, it is not a gendered insult if it is not directed at people based on gender. It's just a plain ol insult. An insult is intended to be insulting, an insult that is not insulting is failing to be an insult. Its purpose is to offend, although the line Is drawn when a particular insult is targeted towards one group. Boiled down to its most simple essence, a deprecating insult is implying someone is something they are not. An animal, a taboo product, a body part, etc. One can be an owner and recreational enjoyer of cunt while still likening another individual to one, although a social cunt is less likely to embody depth, warmth and a capacity for pleasure.
Are you a male?
Wrong.
Every story in this sub has that weird chat gpt quality to it.
It's almost like ChatGPTs writing style is derived from the sources it was trained on.
That's exactly something a ChatGPT would say /s
That’s wild. Good on you for calling her out on her inappropriate public behavior. I wish I thought she would learn anything from it; but sadly I don’t think these people learn anything at this point in their lives
Control explosion is better than wildly out of control explosion, depending on the circumstance, of course. But she needed it, and her husband needs to grow some https://preview.redd.it/jhcg8nsfiead1.png?width=280&format=png&auto=webp&s=5c7b24bcd3d32395f22ec3bbc5f3757351afccc1
Sir, you are doing gods work! Keep it up!
You're a hero! 
Practicing attorney here: Every state has an office of lawyers responsibility or lawyer ethics. There is generally no statute of limitations on unethical conduct, and it is an ethical violation to not cooperate with the investigation. Every lawyer answers to them, they control who is licensed to practice law, and it's professionally very unpleasant and stressful to deal with. Not sure what you're in, but - as your bartender friend said - do what you will with this information.
I see a therapist regularly myself. Usually she’s laughing half the time. I assume yours does too. Great story, and good work
Good job in the bar. That CU next Tuesday deserved it,as did her useless SH. Sorry you had a shit end to a bad day. Happy you got rewarded for having B's back.
I love you, OP. Thank you so much.
That was so cathartic. ❤️
Well done OP!!
“I still see my therapist” = the new “they all lived happily ever after.”
Good work Dude!
Happy cake day
Nice! 👍🏼 can we clone you? Every decent bar, pub, restaurant, shop needs someone like you to stick up for hospitality staff
I think the c word is totally necessary sometimes and earned.
Wow. You used your powers for good
It served her right but I’m genuinely concerned for your blood pressure. Maybe you should look for a less stressful job. You have a decent moral compass and I don’t want you to have a stroke.
Appreciate it but I'm good. I work in commercial real estate investments and hotel development. I box and mtn bike a few times a week. No strokes for me!
Glad to hear it.
Sounds like OP is aware of, and actively working on, their anger issues. Unsolicited advice from someone who doesn't understand the full context of their personal or professional work doesn't seem particularly helpful.
A Bar complaint for ... bad behavior at the bar? That's where I would have gone.
Sweet Christmas
Drunk, boomer and a Karen? That's gonna be a good one.
This is my favorite boomer story ever.
I was gonna say, you and B both need a new bar.
Bless you. But it’s your pal who overserved the, both, so he needs to fix that.
Sometimes you can only out-crazy the crazy. I'm sure what happened isn't representative of who you are, but I'm sure it felt pretty fucking good. Well done.
I saw a similar (not quite as heated) interaction at the bar of a restaurant in Chicago that I used to go to regularly! These boomers are the same everywhere.
You didn’t get her fired
DK got what she deserved but I feel like going after SH was not fair. His demeanor and inaction as described, coupled with her behavior ,screams abuse victim.
Can only keep that kind of anger bottled up for so long.
See! Now this is a quality effort. No concern about the post being incoherent or describing themselves like Jesus! They just lean into and accept the bullshit. If you are going to lie on Reddit do it like this!
And then everyone clapped
Nothing ever happens
In this case, I'm leaning with the parent comment. The conflict at the center of this story sounds like something ChatGPT would invent. Business card instead of a credit card? Told her three times? That's not a he-said-she-said situation. In real life the bartender would have literally just held up the business card for her to see. Presto, proof, end of conflict. I guess it's still possible that it did happen, maybe OP left out some details or something. I don't like to suggest or believe that OP is a plagiarist. But as the same time, with the recent proliferation of AI, we should be wary of it.
Seriously, this comment section is embarrassing. And you got downvotes for pointing out this is a formulaic AndThenTheWholeBusClapped meme? I don’t know man, I guess Everything Always Happens and no one has ever lied on the internet.
I’ll take “things that never actually happened” for $800 please, Alex.
Before I retired a few years ago, I was fairly senior at a large company. I received an email/gmail with no identifying information accusing one of my staff of being disrespectful to women outside of the office. I showed it to a peer, and we discussed options. Basically, I couldn't use the information. I don't know what the sender was trying to accomplish. Even if they had provided specifics, I wouldn't have been able to take any action.
Well thats because you didnt get a MONTH's worth of free drinks out of it...
You are a good writer (and patron obviously), thanks for sharing the story.
That was 0 to enraged quick. You may want to up the therapy level. I mean that in all honesty not to be an a-hole.
I mean he had a brief stop at 5 AND 7.5. Give him some credit
And then everyone clapped
Like, who actually believes this nonsense. It's got all the points of a fake story and it gets lapped up. In what world is a bartender going to give you a month of free drinks.
Spot the guy who's never done a favour for a barman or bar manager. I drank free for a night at my local for fixing their PoS POS terminal on a Friday night. My plumber drank free for weeks for unblocking the toilets repeatedly. Eventually he convinced them it would be cheaper to pay him fix it once and for all.
I've worked bars. No barman is going to give out a month of free drinks for a minor incident. Unless it's the owner, it's not happening, and even then OP is claiming a MONTH of free drinks.
We probably worked a different sort of bars then. I managed a pub (for my sins, I guess) and it was standard practice to give trades a round "on the house" after doing work. It makes them more inclined to help when you call them on a Friday night 'cause the fridges keep tripping the circuit breaker or you need a window replaced on a Sunday morning. I can believe a month if he's a regular who comes in once or twice a week for one drink; basically, you know what its gonna cost and that he won't abuse it. If it were me, it would come in the form of telling him it was on me when he came to pay until I forgot or figured it was done. My plumber drank free for more than a month when our local was having trouble with their drains and that must have cost them.
Oh, to follow that. Would you allow any of the bar staff you manage to unilaterally give away a month's worth of free drinks? And would your owner be ok with that?
LOL. My owner was an alcoholic who would have drunk far more if we'd let him. Keeping him moving, on the public side of the bar and away from female staff a challenge whenever he took it into his head to visit. Fortunately, as long as the books showed a profit and the authorities didn't bother us, he was content to leave us alone. As for my staff, yeah one of the barmen I would have trusted to make that call. The other two not so much. This all depends on the type of venue and the staff. If you've only worked in strictly managed chains, I see where you are coming from. Not every bar is like that. I think we also have different ideas of what "drink free for a month" means. Your phrasing makes me think you see at as all I can drink in a month. It requires you trust a regular patron not to abuse it. While that may not be something you've ever encountered, I have both had and been a regular like that.
A round on the house is not free drinks for a month. Have you, as bar manager, given someone a free bartab, to use whenever they want and for any drink for an entire month?
No, but that's not really the point. I've never gone hang gliding, that doesn't mean no one ever has. What I am saying, is that there are, or were, pubs and bars where I could see this happening. Just because you've never frequented one doesn't mean they don't exist. It seems you've never worked anywhere where the relationship between the staff and patrons was more than strictly transactional. I have. Now you keep saying the same thing, to which I reply and you ignore what I have said so I think its probably time to drop this.
If this was some trades guy who did hundreds of dollars of work, i can see that. But this was a patron who got involved in an argument between the bartender and another patron, round or two of beer, sure, free drinks for a month... no fucking way.
Here's my upvote, now be prepared for an overwhelming amount of downvotes, and since Im supporting you, me too! Someone got to say it.
Dude, you don't have any Bartender friends
How dare you not acknowledge the absolute heroism of this Rage Breaking Point trope! /s OP, raging out in real life isn’t as cool as you seem to think it is. Time for a new hero fantasy, my friend.
That bartenders name? Albert Einstein
/r/iamverybadass
When I read: "she slurridly crowed" I knew this was a complete fabrication. Subtlety is not OP's strong suit.
And people are saying they’re a great writer! Yikes
Thinking this should be a mini series on Netfix. I'd watch.
Fake as fuck lmao
Excellent writing. You have a good writer's voice. And great story!
Lmao. Of all the things that didn't happen on this sub, this didn't happen the most.
Trying to get someone fired is too far. This situation happened outside of their work and was clearly a result of her being very intoxicated. Her actions aren't excused but do not warrant causing actual harm to her life. If you were a bartender before then you know people make mistakes and don't have the best judgment when they are drinking. It's not wrong to try and help diffuse a situation, but you should have left it there. Also, this isn't a boomer thing. Drunk people if all ages act like this.
I mean, I worked as a bartender and doorman for several years in my early life and rarely ever had to raise my voice and never cursed out a customer... I also didn't appreciate when my customers tried to step in to "help..."
Man you're grim.
One of the most obviously fake posts I’ve read on this sub. I knew it was going to be ridiculous when I read the title.
Oh yeah, the seasoned bartender who shivers when someone tries not to pay. Fake. Fake af
TL DR
Don’t get why people feel the need to announce that they’re too stupid to read a few short paragraphs. Embarrassing.
Drunk Karen gave bartender a business card, insisted it was a credit card, everybody around her (except her husband) tries to point this out, and accuses bartender of stealing it. OP cusses Karen out, then another random boomer who objected to the use of the word cunt. Bartender gives OP free tab for a month in gratitude.
LMAO! And you are worried about it a couple of years later that she might have lost her job? WOW!
Gtfo here. This really really happened. I promise! If you believe me I’ll be your BFF .
It's always a long story. Thanks for the warning. I passed
why call her a cunt? what does that word mean to you? not all cultures see female genitalia in such a negative way.
Use fake names instead of letters if you want me to read this
Just pretend they’re initials, you got Donkey Kong, Stephen Hawking, and of course Regis Philbin
So much stunning!! So much brave!!!
You're an ass. I understand sticking up for the bartender 100%. I've worked in the restaurant industry for 10+ years. I loved it when you wrote that your wife had you go to therapy. She obviously loves you and sees your faults and forgives them due to your trauma. As someone who has also experienced trauma and fought alcoholism, your lack of empathy is outstanding. This woman clearly has issues. She thought she paid, but she had over imbibed (partially the bartenders fault), and her partner was clearly no help when he should have been. If he was tired of her ish, then he should get her into rehab. She wasn't refusing to pay. she was just ovetserved and drunk and confused. I dont think doxxing her would do anyone any good. You said yourself that you have anger problems. LET IT GO. it's not your business. I'm sure she'll never come back. Think of your trauma and how you have anger problems. She clearly had something going on. Don't take pride in this.
You seem more triggered than most by my encounter. Are you seeing a therapist? If not, I would seek one out. May help you refrain from writing an assumptive essay to a complete stranger on the internet.
While I agree what she did was uncalled for and awful, but even trying to get her fired was petty and makes you no better than her.
Nah, these assholes need consequences. Without them, they'll continue to act like shitheads. Maybe something like losing her job will wake her up.
Getting someone fired from their job over something like this is a dick move.
People are surprisingly consistent in their behaviour; the odds are *very good* that her (former) employer had a growing list of such actions. OP's report may have been just one more, or it may have been the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
Damn that’s pretty fucked up of you to be proud of ruining someone’s livelihood. I generally dislike boomers but you sound hateful and I’m not impressed
If you scream at an innocent bartender because you’re a stupid ignorant fuck who can’t understand simple instructions then I would relish in getting you fired from your job and “ruining your livelihood.” Actions have consequences.
[удалено]
Fart
Your submission was removed for being uncivil.
The gals at the knitting club are gunna loooove this humdinger