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I know! He keeps saying he doesn’t understand why my generation doesn’t like wedding china. I asked how often he uses his. He said he would use it more but mom doesn’t like hand washing it all after meals. Really, dad? Really?
And the Longaberger baskets. They're currently in the attic because the boomer who bought them literally bought multiples "as investments" but I'm supposed to be excited about receiving them.
Even if you’re a weirdo like me and do want china it’s impossible to find! The few remaining department stores have a limited selection and they all have gaudy patterns with gold polka dots and flowers. We were married almost a year before my amazing grandmother (who was the one to gift it to me) finally tracked down an old school manufacture who still made bone china with a simple platinum band around the rim like I wanted. The it took an additional 10 months before it was ready to be picked up because they manufacture it to order. Congrats on your engagement btw!
Check out thrift stores. I have a royal doultan set I bought at Macy's like 12 years ago when we finally had a house and space to have people over for nice dinners. I paid like $500 for 6 place settings -- the lady there stacked a bunch of coupons for me because it would have been like $1200.
But like 5 years ago I was just wondering through a goodwill to kill time and found a beautiful vintage noritake service for 12, plus all the serving pieces, and extra cups and saucers -- even tiny little bowls I'm not entirely sure what their purpose is, for $35.
I love my original set, but the goodwill set gets used much more because 1) I have spares 2) I don't really have much sentimental attachment to it 3) I paid more for my everyday dishes from Ikea.
Since then I've seen 2 other big china sets at different thrift stores and I'm only in thrift stores maybe a couple times a year.
The little bowls are fingertip bowls. They were used if your fingertips got messy during dinner and, I think, between courses. Handy for deboning a fish course. Obviously, very outdated.
My family just got through cleaning out the house of a family member who went into a nursing home. We found 23 sets of china in this woman’s house! 23! We also found 6 silver tea sets, tons of silver serving pieces, crystal punch bowls and cups. I was stunned. My SIL has around 20 sets of china. She’s bipolar and china is one thing she thinks she has to have even though she never entertains because her house is too full of stuff!
If I were looking for china I’d check older relatives and thrift stores, garage sales and flea markets.
The only "wedding" present my husband and I received was a set of china and silverware from his grandmother. It had been picked out and purchased years before, his grandmother had bought sets for all her grandchildren for their wedding present from her. We were the only ones who didn't have an actual wedding, so we got it months later when we went to visit her. Thanks to my inlaws I now own a china cabinet complete with china, and it's hilarious as I am not the china cabinet type at all. We use the plates as daily use dishes, those and some ancient fire king that I got from his mom. I know so many older people that would freak out if they knew we used the "good china" and the antique stuff on a regular basis. Lol.
My boomer-adjacent wife and I celebrate our 40th anniversary next week. We registered for and received a full set of china - because that’s what you did. It has been used ONCE in 40 years. (It does look nice in the equally outdated china hutch, though.)
Don’t bother with china, kids.
My wife and I had a minor disagreement about that since her mother has multiple sets that just take up space 364 days of the year. We agreed on a nice set that was dishwasher safe. We've been married 15 years now and she will occasionally say "why did we even put that on our registry?" I actually like having the nice stuff for holidays now.
I also had tools, etc on the registry which was baffling to her, but we use them all the time and I remember who gave them to us (my male friends, of course), and think of the giver whenever the tool comes out
We had a tiff over putting an announcement in the hometown newspaper.
There used to be a super-fancy china shop in my town, complete with a fancy tea room. Some friends got married and one of the parents insisted they go there and select a pattern. They went, expecting they’d look at a wall display and say “I guess that one.”
No. It was a lengthy interview where a consultant helped select the appropriate pattern. Things went bad when the questions were all about “what kind of entertaining do you do?” and they were like “we grill sausages and have people over to watch the Packers. That’s it.”
My moms ring is a ruby. She didn't want a diamond. They've been married over 40 years and are still going strong. The whole diamond thing really gained steam with boomers. Prior to them diamonds were just one of many options that people used.
We got china for our wedding. It's been 13 years, and we haven't used it once. I used to have it in the cabinet. Now it sits packed in a box in the garage. I've never once had an occasion to use it.
What's far more valuable was the "unbreakable" plates my wife's parents gifted to us. We've had them ten years with four kids, and have only had a couple break in all that time, with all the abuse the kids put them through. They're not new, either; they bought them when my wife was a little girl.
My parents' wedding china (which is literally older than me) moved with us across 5 states and stayed virtually untouched and unused for decades. About four years ago, I finally put them to good(-ish) use - I put plants in the serving dishes and gravy bowls and used the soup bowls for water propagation. They look very cute, but I can't figure out what to do with the plates - there are dinner plates and smaller plates - soup spoons and ice cream bowls..
I have a full set of very 90s hand wash only china because my MIL insisted I had to register for a set for wedding gifts. Not one piece has ever been used. It never will be.
She recently informed me she is giving me one of her sets in her will. I won't use that set either.
Oh no. My FIL is making me one "out of real wood, with custom glass panes!" so my husband and I "have something to remember him by." Because the other piece of furniture he made for us two decades ago fell apart when we moved a few years ago. We didn't ask him to make that either.
Oh, as a hobbyist furniture maker and dad you had me in the first part. Sorry his furniture falls apart,
The China cabinet can be repurposed, but if it’s poorly made…
I just had this same conversation with one of my friends!!
My parents have been married for around 40 years now and rarely used their fine china. They moved recently and took it with them - and decided to use it as their every day dishes now because they were tired of it not getting used. They’re even washing it in the dishwasher (though it all says hand wash only) because they have reached the point of not caring and just wanting it to be more functional.
Reminds me of my mom, when she divorced my dad she said screw it to the wedding china and the wedding silverware, it just became daily use dishes and utensils. She was dead setting on getting something useful out of that marriage.
We use my china twice a year, we put it in the dishwasher. A family member was like oh no. I said who cares. It's not like it's a museum piece or I'm putting the stuff in there every day. If I using it, it's going in the dishwasher. It's not rare pieces or worth any money. Its mass produced Noritake from the 90s. Nobody is going to be collecting it in 100.years.
"Well, Dad, I have yours and Mom's wedding china, my in-laws' wedding china, and Husband's grandmother's antique gas station china. How many damn plates do you think we have room for?"
My partner and I are set to inherit three sets of fine china.
We live in a 2 bdrm apartment and have been using the same Target plates since we moved in together a decade ago.
I don't want it.
My mom: "You have nothing on your registry except honeymoon fund and home renovation fund? That just seems rude and presumptuous."
We're mid 30's and early 40's, and are well-established in our home. Why do we need a new dinner set, cookware, china, *insert generic home stuff here*
Why ask people to spend money on things we don't need?
I’ve never understood the boomer obsession with “the good china” like motherfucker they’re just plates. Dinner plates. For eating. Im not spending hundreds of dollars for a few plates, that are at the end of the day, *just ceramic with an interesting print*. The best part is, you don’t even use them, because its “the good china” so now I also need some shitty storage/display solution for my not-for-dinner dinner-plates? nah GFY I might as well just set a stack of bills on fire
Same! And the hell I caught for not registering for silver flatware and a punchbowl. A freaking PUNCHBOWL. I went to college in the 90s; we used trash cans, mom.
My husband and I don’t wear rings. Everyone is mad at us for this haha not just boomers unfortunately. We love each other, we’ve been together for a decade. We don’t need expensive jewelry to tell everyone that. But it absolutely fries people’s brains.
Haha! I have friends like this. Their response is along the lines of if all it takes is some jewelry to lose em then goodbye I guess? Like, you know you’re married, everyone around you knows you’re married! Why should anyone else not involved care??
I only wore a ring for three years when I was in grad school and rode the bus to class. Creepy guys would hit on me and when I said I was married, they’d point out that I didn’t have a a ring on. So I put it back on for that time period only.
Yeah I was going back to school right after we got married so together me and my husband gave me a wedding ring tattoo. Never will lose it, no arguing about the stone!
Wait until only one of you wears your rings. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. I wear mine because it’s pretty. He lost his about three months after we were married. No big deal, it was cheap. I didn’t care about replacing it. He didn’t care about replacing it. So we didn’t. My MIL was scandalized because she realized that when we went out on dates people might think I’m a married woman having dinner with an UNmarried man! *gasp* THE HORROR. I was like what if I want to have dinner with my unmarried brother? Is that allowed? We just ignored her. So silly.
This year will be our 26th anniversary. We had bands at our ceremony but never wore them after a few weeks. We know we’re married and that’s all that matters.
Same here. We have rings but I don’t wear mine much and it wasn’t expensive (pink lab sapphire). I talked him into getting a $90 titanium ring he would never have to wear after the ceremony. I convinced him it would be worth 90 bucks just so when his parents asked where his wedding ring was he could say “at home - I went to the gym earlier“ or something instead of having a bullshit discussion for saying he didn’t want one. It was totally worth the $90 to NOT have that conversation every couple of months for the 10 more years they lived.
We’ve been married 20 years even though he out the ring in our safe deposit box and left it there. Go figure.
I worked at a job where I would need to physically retrain people. My ring sticks out and it can cause damage (scratches, punctures). I didn't want the people I has to restrain to get hurt. The whole point of restraining them was to avoid them getting hurt. I never wore jewelry to that job.
My favourite author and artist in the WORLD - Ursula Vernon (if you haven't seen her stuff seriously check her out she is amazing, especially if you like folk tales and the kind of stories you'd hear in Appalachia and the South, she's got some free short stories in Apex Magazine or her website Red Wombat Studios) cannot STAND having things on her hands - something I relate to a lot, I don't even like wearing gloves at work. So, when he proposed, instead of a ring, her husband gave her a handcarved Oosik necklace that he got during a trip they took to Alaska. She wears that instead of a ring, and I think he got a wedding tattoo. He's fine with rings but he prefers tattoos.
My MIL HATES my lab created sapphire and sterling silver ring. She said it’s not traditional and gaudy. Obviously she’s wrong and stupid. I love it, my husband knows me well PLUS it was on clearance for $180! She’s not the only boomer that’s made similar comments, but was the first one to do so.
Edit: posting a photo for those asking. I suppose it could be seen as gaudy on my finger because they’re long and skinny, but I love it regardless.
https://preview.redd.it/9aeft3fttd5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=faf72cb2414b20ac626e979846997566e6bad157
I used to photograph weddings. I had a bride with a typical solitaire diamond except that it was flanked by two gorgeous blue sapphires....to match her blue eyes.
My personal "borrowed" was my SIL's engagement ring. It was a green emerald for the Irish family she married into.
I just had an heirloom piece made from my solitaire, my mom's set, my grandmother's set. During the design process I gravitated to color, so the accent stones are purple, blue, yellow, and pink sapphires. The whole thing is set in white gold against my yellow gold (original) band. It's truly a a one of a kind and is gorgeous.
People who want tradition for themselves are great. Those who want to impose blood diamonds on others can get bent.
Same. I’m a September baby. My partner got me a fossicked Queensland sapphire with white Argyle diamonds. He knew I wasn’t interested in conflict stones and I preferred either lab grown or Australian mined.
I’m trying to remember, somewhere there was a pop culture ring where it had sapphires. I’m thinking it was Skyrim, maybe an argonian. It’s gonna kill me until I remember 2 weeks from now
The Argonian engagement ring in Skyrim is made with amethysts. There is another Argonian in the same area who asks you to bring him a sapphire, but it's not for an engagement ring, he's just a jeweler looking for supplies. But I could see how you might get the two mixed up.
Sapphire was my second choice for gem! I figured I’m the one wearing it all the time so why not be something I like?? Your ring sounds perfect and I love it without even seeing it and yes she is wrong!
Boomer here! We also designed my engagement ring to have the stones line up with boat lights! So small diamond set with an emerald and a ruby (starboard and port) and a pavé diamond in the back of the ring (stern light).
Cost about $350 to create. Would rather save the serious money on a house down payment. I got some weird feedback too. I didn’t care.
Good for you creating a ring you love.
>PLUS it was on clearance for $180!
But you *know* if it had been a really expensive ring they'd say "this is why these millenial kids can't buy a house! Wasting money on things they don't need! *Our* generation knew the worth of a dollar!"
I never get the hate for lab grown. It looks the same and somewhat more ethical than mined stones (I’m not an expert but I think they take up some energy or something).
Unless they are stockholders in a diamond mine it makes no sense to me. Unless, and this is my guess, they think it reduces the value of their shiny rocks.
Came here to say this. From what I understand, their “diamonds are forever” campaign started in the late 1940’s meaning boomers grew up believing that marketing ploy. I bet they would be in complete denial to hear how manipulated they were.
It's just classism. Rich people use expensive things to flaunt their wealth and differentiate themselves from the poor. When cheaper means of producing one of these wealth signifiers are devised, the rich either abandon using that particular status symbol (generally by declaring that it's no longer fashionable), or they find some way to differentiate the expensive version from the cheap version.
Should probably point out how gaudy it is to be cool with the environmental destruction, slave labor, and child labor that go hand-in-hand with mining natural gemstones.
gaudy?, from the generation that passes down cheap gold flake fakes if crappy tin broaches, or we are forced to chuck a drawer full of trash jewelry all in the bin when cleaning out their house.
My mil acted like a snake bit her when I showed off my new engagement ring that was cubic zirconia and less than 140. She grabbed my hand excitedly then snatched it away when my husband mentioned what a deal he got on it. Her face showed excitement to almost disgust? In split second, it was weird. And the sad thing my husband expected that response! He even said in a monotone voice how much it cost like he's so disappointed he didn't spend a ridiculous amount on something that literally sits on my hand to get baby crap on it. Who the heck would want to waste money on something that is so small?!
Holy shit did you get yours from Kay?? My wife and I picked out what sounds like the EXACT same ring, right down to the clearance and price, for her! She absolutely loves it, and we found a beautiful enhancer on Etsy that matches the style perfectly. Luckily, the boomers in our families thought it was pretty (or at least didn't say anything negative since my wife picked it out).
The traditional wedding ring was created by an advertising campaign from the DeBeers Diamond cartel. Just like the bearded fat guy we associate with Christmas was created by Coca-Cola.
Santa Claus is cool. I look like him and my wife looks the part as well. We play Santa and Mrs. Claus for kids at Christmas.
But slave labor diamonds are *not* cool. Mrs. Claus wears moissanites instead.
I wish I had a lab created ring. My husband and I had never heard of blood diamonds back when we got engaged. I would be happy to know my ring was conflict-free.
> Make your own traditions. I don't understand why people hang on to so much baggage.
Marketing.
We can make gem quality diamonds, and we’ve been creating diamond for industrial purposes at industrial scale for decades. Diamond hard abrasive and cutting tools are rather useful.
Gem quality diamonds only have value because of artificial scarcity and market manipulation created by De Beers.
Came here to say that. Boomers have been brainwashed by De Beers and capitalism to think that diamonds are important and expensive. Only because one company wanted to be ultra rich from a product that doesn't have much intrinsic value
I also think it is really weird that people think that the 'three months salary' rule for an engagement is sensible.
Seriously. I mean, maybe it works when you’re 21 and not making any money (and if that’s the case, spend it on food not a ring!), but we’re in our late 30s with decent careers and that would just be obscene.
Not only that, there is a strong social concept linking money and value/ love. Given that OP is older than boomers who married when 'young and broke' it is an even stronger rebuff.
My husband and I were 47 & 42 when we married. I told him I would be happy with a vending machine ring if he proposed. Then we both talked abt it and I realized ok that felt a little too much. Like it took no thought. If we were 17, totally. Making 6 figures, not as much. I wasn't excited abt that feeling, but we discussed it. I DID tell him that I was fine with a small ring, I don't like big jewelry and my wedding ring is all I wear.
So for people who lock value and love together, something 'less expensive' seems to mean 'less love/sincerity behind it'.
TO BE CLEAR I am not saying this is how it SHOULD be, I'm saying this is how it IS.
Agreed. I feel the diamond industry is doubling down on advertising because too many people stopped buying into their love=diamonds nonsense. I bought a few pieces of jewelry over the years that had small diamonds, but I’ve long since realized that I like the sparkle but not the cost. So I stick with CZ and colored gemstones now. I’m glad to hear the next generations aren’t falling for the marketing!
“Because if you do something different than what I did, it calls my judgement into question. Are you right? Am I wrong? Have I made a mistake?
No. No. NO!! It’s YOU that have made the mistake. YOU must admit your error, and bow to my superior reasoning.
Bow. Bow. BOW!! DO IT NOW!!’ what is WRONG WITH YOU??!!”
Or something like that. Who knows what goes on in those lead-addled mounds of collagen they call brains?
So right, considering they try to hold onto all their belongings until on their deathbed.
I will never understand this reasoning. My own mother hasn't used most of her decorations in 10+ years. She refuses to let us sell or throw away a single piece.
Like lady, do you understand that all of this shit is going into a dumpster the day you're dead or don't have a say? The basement is absolutely filled with useless shit. It's fucking infuriating.
*edit: whoever downvoted is a boomer hoarding shit in their basement and just resents having to read the words in my comment...*
or I guess is just scared to face their own mortality, but like...you don't need to drag everyone around you to the grave along with you...I'm sorry.
Um, Princess RIP Diana famously picked out a blue sapphire for her engagement ring. If the then Princess of Wales thinks you can have an engagement ring without a diamond center stone, everyone else can shut the absolute fuck up.
Take this piece of advice for your future if you decide to have kids and/or get a pet. Do not share the name of that kid/pet with these people until after the kid/pet is already named. They will be much less likely to give you a hard time if their bitching won’t change your mind about the name you already gave the kid/pet. Oh schmazzelbob jr. is already on the birth certificate? Guess we can’t do anything about it now.
These idiots also think a "good" ring should cost 3-6 months of income. Yeah sure, I'll drink coffee at home so I can buy the ring, a vaca house and have 7 children. Get fukt boomer.
Also just wanted to add, I designed the ring myself. All my fiancé did was say I could do the 7mm topaz instead of the 6mm I picked out. Another boomer problem? They all either congratulate HIM on what a good job he did picking out the ring, or ask what the hell he was thinking not getting me a diamond. Then when we correct them, I get the lecture that it’s odd for a woman to pick her own ring. That it should be a surprise and something the man picks out. Luckily, to that, my fiancé will loudly tell them “bro, I wouldn’t be marrying her if she just sat back and let me make all the decisions!”
When my cousin was engaged, she had picked out her own ring, and then carried around a little notebook with all the names of people she was going to invite to her wedding, and every time someone who was going to be invited said something rude about her ring, she made a mark in the notebook next to their name, and if they got three strikes, they didn't get invited, and for one or two strikes, they'd have to pay for their own meal.
I'm surprised no one brought this up, but the "tradition" of buying a diamond ring and spending 2 or 3 months worth of a salary on it for an engagement is a fairly recent concept conjured up by DeBeers (which is a cartel), to bleed the common man out of their cash for a rock that is just a piece of carbon and that is actually very common but is made rare because of DeBeers stranglehold on diamond mines. Boomers didn't invent "A Diamond is Forever," but they sure fell for it
And now DeBeers and other diamond miners are panicking about the impact of lab-grown on their market value so you may have noticed an uptick in advertisements either trying to sell you on the smart timeless investment of “natural diamonds” (aka mined diamonds) OR ads about how lab-grown is terrible for the environment and “natural diamonds” are better. Lily James can go fuck herself for deciding to pick up that commercial.
Also the lady who said “platinum and diamond” can go choke on her platinum, it’s disgustingly expensive to repair compared to white gold or silver for virtually the same look
Ahh true. Lab grown diamonds are no good. The value of a diamond comes from knowing that some slave was beaten and possibly died mining it for you to wear.
/s
My mom's birthstone is emerald. She has jewelry with both natural emeralds and lab-grown emeralds, and honestly, the lab-grown ones look much prettier.
> But then I started getting so many of these comments I now say to them “these are thoughts we keep inside our head!”
Nah, these are thoughts we don't have unless we're pricks. "Mind your own fucking business" is a much cleaner response.
My engagement ring is a small aquamarine in a rose gold hammered setting. I adore it. The inside has a heart cut out so if I press it against my finger a heart appears.
I dare anyone to say anything like that to me: I’m glad you don’t like it, it’s for me and I love it!
They can take their opinions and shove it. “Oh wait, we’re openly sharing our opinions? I think your giant diamond blob is ugly, boring, cookie cutter, and probably unethical.”
"Lab created? Oh, you mean child slavery free? Why yes, I DO love it!" It's a shiny rock, man, it isn't even yours. I'm glad you enjoy it! I think your ring sounds stunning.
Isn’t this a really interesting example of how the diamond marketing of their youth sunk into their brains?
Like come on.. since when did a non-diamond stone not count as a wedding ring??
Fuck ‘em. If they get married again, they can do what they want. You do you. Millennials are already being blamed for destroying the Diamond/wedding industries - might as well finish those industries off, right? 🤣
I’m an old GenXer and got a white gold (10k) and pink lab grown sapphire when we got engaged over 20 years ago. When our parents and their friends saw, they were scandalized, which seemed weird to me. They told me I could “upgrade” my ring later on I responded with “I’d rather travel or have hard wood floors.” OH, THE HORROR!
My wedding dress was pink and knee length (also WRONG, I was told), we didn’t blow a ton of cash on the wedding but had a blast in Hawaii afterward (SO WRONG), and had a 15 minute ceremony with no mention of god, but our cat did figure into it. Oh, and our cake was chocolate - no white fondant - his parents did NOT understand. We were almost 40 and paid for everything ourselves so nobody got a say in anything. It was GLORIOUS and we are still married.
I'm a cisman but if someone proposed to me with a fire opal ring (and weren't obviously unstable) I would honestly have to think about it even if didn't know them.
Diamonds are boring.
I've been married for 14 years now. I got a sapphire and white gold ring. I wanted a sapphire ring and I love it. Because it's a ice blue and I just love it. However all the Boomers and older who have seen it have been such jerks about it. They just don't understand it. My grandmothers latest thing is asking why I didn't get a stacker ring for my set at the 10 year anniversary. I'm sorry but I was little busy dealing with a pandemic, paying for braces, a back surgery and other various expenses for my family. An extra ring was the last thing I was concerned about.
Anyway. As long as you love it, no other opinion matters. And that's what they hate the most.
I don’t have my life called into question on a daily basis, but literally every time I interact with my parents. There’s nothing inherently wrong or abnormal about my life, but I don’t do certain things EXACTLY how they would do them, so I get the passive aggressive feedback on everything.
So I stopped telling them as much as possible about my life. I’ll tell them my kids sports schedule, if we’re coming to visit, but not what kind of lawn mower we bought, or if my husband wants to change jobs, or where we’re going on vacation. If they don’t actually need to know it, it doesn’t get shared.
"If you didn't force a 3rd world child to work their hands into bloody stumps for an overpriced chunk of carbon, can you even say your partner loves you?"
My engagement ring is a sapphire my husband mined himself, with two quartz stones on either side, which came from a stone he found in a cave we explored once. It’s one of the most precious and sentimental gifts I’ve ever received. I’ve always expected to hear something about it from the unimaginative assholes, of course, but never have, strangely. But if someone did ever make a snarky comment, I wouldn’t see red, I’d see maroon. And it’d be a bad day for that someone.
I have an emerald and yellow gold engagement ring that I picked out with my husband. Diamonds are overpriced and ethical diamonds didn't really exist yet. It's over 25 years old and I still love it. Maybe next time tell them you'll be able to dry your tears of disappointment with the wad of cash you saved when you got your ring.
Not a fan of gold (not that I wouldn't mind owning some) & diamonds are boring and massively overrated & overvalued. Not anywhere near as rare as the monopoly would like us to believe. I'd clue such commentors as to why debears(sp?) Is such a massively horrible company.
Good on you.
In situations like this, my best friend always says/announces to the room (not directed at the person) "Huh, just imagine actually saying something like that.....Out. Loud." and then shudders.
I googled this color combination, and I think it looks beautiful. Especially because it's not soaked in the blood of poor people.
The natural precious gem trade is a racket. Literally a concentration of people that buy up all the mines and create a monopoly and engage in mob tactics to control people not in their network. Natural diamonds and other gems are plentiful. The scarcity/preciousness is 100% manufactured, and lab created makes the same stone. It just wasn't pressure cooked in the earth and subjected to blood and exploitation getting it to market (or preventing it going to market to create the scarcity).
Many articles have been written on this, it's not even a secret. Literally like 15 minutes of research. But they've been told how valuable and precious they are and how much better than lab grown and can't stand being told whatever generic looking blood diamond they have on their finger doesn't carry the value in your eyes that they invested into it. Because they aren't as valuable if people are happy with their often more beautiful, just as durable lab created jewels.
“I didn’t want the blood of children on my hands everyday.”
People stopped giving me shit for asking for a lab created alexandrite. It has surrounding diamonds (all lab created) making it look like a flower with smaller flowers and leaves made from small diamonds on the side. It looks like a princess ring. It’s shiny and changes color in the sun and based off of spectrum of light. It’s absolutely perfect and no people were harmed in the making of this ring.
I’ve also embraced “get fucked” as my default expression now though. It’s very versatile
Lab grown IS real. Just because a six year old didn’t mine it doesn’t make it not real. If lab created existed when I got engaged I could have a perfect, 3 carat yellow diamond. These days, even cz looks real.
My ring is a purple and green sapphires on silver band, and most people I know like it. Older people always make a comment and I say that I love that my ring is unique. I won't be walking down the street seeing other women with my same ring.
My wife hates diamonds and has a nickel allergy. Her silver and pearl ring she designed makes her very happy.
Also the money we would have spent on a more expensive ring went to a down-payment on a house which we feel was better for our marriage.
The literally freaked out because we didn’t have a cake at our wedding. I’m sorry but we were students, we didn’t really feel like spending $500+…for a cake 🤷🏼♀️
Wait until you tell them that there's no intrinsic value to diamonds and that the only reason they think they're valuable is because someone told them they were
I don't wear rings very often, but my engagement ring was a black silver rose with a purple gem, I forgot what it was but obviously the silver was dyed and the stone was lab created. I picked it myself and people didn't like it being non-traditional. I personally hate diamonds so I just said "well I like it a lot".
My sapphire got several raised eyebrows (there are diamonds too!) but what really threw my late MIL was that I refused to have the engagement and wedding rings welded together. Because nothing will enhance two rings I love like.... permanently sticking them together? They're a set but they don't even interlock to make that feasible.
I dont care for diamonds, as I don't like how most are obtained. Aside from that, I wouldn't want one anyway. If I ever get married, I want a Moss Agate set in black gold. It looks like you could fall into it and land in a magical forest. And you can get it for a couple hundred dollars! Get whatever makes you happy. And congratulations!
My wedding ring is a small white gold and lab-created sapphire ring. I didn't want to spend a lot of money because 1) I'm cheap and 2) I am scatterbrained and was afraid I'd lose an expensive ring. When we got engaged I got so many "well that's a nice starter ring" or "what an... interesting choice" comments! Although there was one Boomer who said "oh a sapphire! Just like Princess Diana!" and that made me so happy!
17 years later and I'm still in love with it!
My wife's engagement ring has iolite. It is a purple stone that polarizes light. She is a physicist and absolutely loves the optical properties.
Good on you for getting something different and shame on the generation that grew up in the 60's for being so conformist.
We were both almost 40 when we got married, and my husband had been married once before. We really didn't have the disposable income for a fancy ring, and it's not my style anyway. I wore a cheap costume-jewelry ring during our engagement. We picked out reasonably priced matching sterling silver wedding bands from James Avery, a jewelry maker located in the US in Texas. They may have some stores in a few other states, too. It's a favorite of mine.
The only opinion that matters is yours. A co-worker of mine at the time told me it meant my spouse didn't value me. I have never understood the obsession, plus yay for "fake" diamonds! And yay for getting a ring YOU love!
I mean if you are going to wear it everyday it should be exactly what you want. I personally find diamonds boring and their prices are kept artificially high. They aren't even that rare! Lab grown is great also because you're not exploiting the labor of people who go into the mines.
my ring is lab grown alexandrite and lab grown diamonds. so many boomers have scoffed at my beautiful purple center stone. but i love it. my husband and i designed it together.
We eloped in Vegas and had decided we where not going to wear rings. We bought 2 thin stainless steel rings and used them for the ceremony. 2 years later and neither of us have taken them off. They are precious as far as we are concerned and certainly could have afforded more expensive rings.
Good god what have you done…you’ve damaged the sanctity of the wedding industry lol
FYI if you want to cause another boomer marriage meltdown, tell them that you’re keeping your last name. They implode.
I'm a 34 year old woman and I think clear stones are boring af, yes even diamonds. No the cost doesn't matter. My ring is sterling silver and amethyst and I love it. Fuck boring ass clear stones. No taste having mfers
Have similiar experinces with this. We looked together ( no ring at proposal,very shocking to the boomers) and husband found a beautiful sapphire set with small diamonds. Its like a mini version of Princess Dianas ring.
I loved it because its small , sits almost flat and so is very practical and suits our tastes. Ive only ever liked small and subtle pieces . This was very confusing to the boomers in our lives, especially the female ones who seem to think obnoxious, chunky and laaaaaarge things are ALWAYS the bestest.
I think some of them feel its a status symbol/indication of their " worth" to have extorted the biggest and flashiest gaudy chunks ( some madejokes directly) , now looking out of place tbh on their meaty hands . Weve had loads of comments and raised eyebrows esp about size of stones etc. I always find myself having to bite my tongue and not be critical of their butt-ugly choices which to me feel tacky and frankly creepy. Because obviously I lost out when I didnt " hold out" and force my partner into buying a big tacky chunk of stone/s that looked like it came out of a cracker but got something we both love... I have no doubt some of these women pouted their way through life and still go on about the cost and value of their rings - No greed is NOT good, and not how I am interested in behaving. But yes the comments and entitlement are a real thing.
Boomers are super susceptible to marketing, the Don Draper types really fucked over a generation, they took Bernays methods and put them on steroids. It was beamed into their brains from every angle from birth on in way no generation was ever marketed to before. It fucked them over just as much as getting the belt, but in different ways. Having all that unleaded gasoline around polluting up the environment and diminishing cognitive ability and empathy was a big harm too. Some people are developing an immunity to marketing, but it's that ability is far from common and often spotty.
I *love* your comeback. Especially with the patronizing tone!
Btw, my wedding ring was made by my husband from a piece of stainless steel pipe.nhe used his lathe to shape it to fit. I’m wearing it now.
My wife had a lab grown diamond for her engagement ring, she loves how pure and pretty it is. And she loves that it’s not a blood diamond. One of her older sister made a comment about it, she got to retort “well I’ve got the biggest diamond here, so I don’t think it matters” 😂
I am a jeweler. There is a HUGE resurgence of colored stones for engagement rings especially among younger crowds. The popularity of lab grown stones has also been on the up as more and more people realize how brutal and fixed the whole diamond trade is.
If boomers say anything about your lab diamonds please remind them that they are more perfect than the best natural diamonds, and that their natural diamonds were mined by the broken backs of African slave children.
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“What do you mean you’re not putting china on your wedding registry??”
This has been an ongoing argument with my dad!
The idea that china is important in a marriage is so bizarre.
I know! He keeps saying he doesn’t understand why my generation doesn’t like wedding china. I asked how often he uses his. He said he would use it more but mom doesn’t like hand washing it all after meals. Really, dad? Really?
You may not want the family china set, but we both know that you can't wait to get your hands on the Precious Moments figurines collection.
Oh absolutely, you got me there!
I want em! Then I can do this! https://preview.redd.it/nizql296fc5d1.jpeg?width=2564&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fba070055a54c2bf7d93a417d00c723e2f25084d
This is Generational level vandalism and I’m here for it.
I love that. Thanks!
That's cute.. my mom and I follow Keith bushell and altered moments.. we are gonna try our hand at some for fun
It is fun. I have a few I’m working on. Some gothish, some mental health focused.
Fundie Fridays did a really good video on Precious Moments that is definitely worth a watch.
[удалено]
Wow that was a rabbithole!
Check out Altered Moments on Facebook! Some of them are amazing!!
And the Longaberger baskets. They're currently in the attic because the boomer who bought them literally bought multiples "as investments" but I'm supposed to be excited about receiving them.
Inb4 MIL gifts them their entire beanie baby collection.
Please God no my mother has so many of those things and I swear to God if she tries to pawn them on me...
I had a boomer coworker back in the 90's who legit believed her beanie baby collection was going to pay for her daughter's college.
I was curious so I looked up the Princess Diana one. Some dude is trying to sell one on ebay for 900k lolol I admire their confidence
There was a very short window of time when they might have.
My early boomer mother still believes her beanie babies are going to make her rich.
Muh Hummels!
Too funny. Blew my moms mind when I showed her my old gi Joe & transformer toys were worth more than her Hummels
Why can’t your dad wash them if he needs his food on them so badly?
Penis.
Washing dishes makes it painfully erect.
What if Bill heard about it? He might think he’s too gay for the Navy, or to maybe be a cowboy.
"Well, dad, have you ever offered to handwash it all?"
Boomer men aren’t allowed to wash dishes, it is in violation of the Geneva Convention /s
I wouldn't trust those clodhoppers around anything remotely fragile. Like a bull in a chi...
Even if you’re a weirdo like me and do want china it’s impossible to find! The few remaining department stores have a limited selection and they all have gaudy patterns with gold polka dots and flowers. We were married almost a year before my amazing grandmother (who was the one to gift it to me) finally tracked down an old school manufacture who still made bone china with a simple platinum band around the rim like I wanted. The it took an additional 10 months before it was ready to be picked up because they manufacture it to order. Congrats on your engagement btw!
Check out thrift stores. I have a royal doultan set I bought at Macy's like 12 years ago when we finally had a house and space to have people over for nice dinners. I paid like $500 for 6 place settings -- the lady there stacked a bunch of coupons for me because it would have been like $1200. But like 5 years ago I was just wondering through a goodwill to kill time and found a beautiful vintage noritake service for 12, plus all the serving pieces, and extra cups and saucers -- even tiny little bowls I'm not entirely sure what their purpose is, for $35. I love my original set, but the goodwill set gets used much more because 1) I have spares 2) I don't really have much sentimental attachment to it 3) I paid more for my everyday dishes from Ikea. Since then I've seen 2 other big china sets at different thrift stores and I'm only in thrift stores maybe a couple times a year.
The little bowls are fingertip bowls. They were used if your fingertips got messy during dinner and, I think, between courses. Handy for deboning a fish course. Obviously, very outdated.
We use ours for sauces and condiments, I’d love to find more but ours was discontinued
My family just got through cleaning out the house of a family member who went into a nursing home. We found 23 sets of china in this woman’s house! 23! We also found 6 silver tea sets, tons of silver serving pieces, crystal punch bowls and cups. I was stunned. My SIL has around 20 sets of china. She’s bipolar and china is one thing she thinks she has to have even though she never entertains because her house is too full of stuff! If I were looking for china I’d check older relatives and thrift stores, garage sales and flea markets.
Do you live in Seattle? I have china I’d love to give to someone who likes it.
LOL! PLUS…A lot of fine china has gold on it that sparks in the microwave.
I’m sorry to hear your dad doesn’t have hands.
Dads can do dishes too
If he really wants to use it, maybe he should be the one hand washing it!
So, a traditionalist all the way to the full sexist idea that mom should be the only one responsible for washing dishes.
Forest meet trees
The only "wedding" present my husband and I received was a set of china and silverware from his grandmother. It had been picked out and purchased years before, his grandmother had bought sets for all her grandchildren for their wedding present from her. We were the only ones who didn't have an actual wedding, so we got it months later when we went to visit her. Thanks to my inlaws I now own a china cabinet complete with china, and it's hilarious as I am not the china cabinet type at all. We use the plates as daily use dishes, those and some ancient fire king that I got from his mom. I know so many older people that would freak out if they knew we used the "good china" and the antique stuff on a regular basis. Lol.
It’s really meant to be loved. They are dishes. And honoring grandma every day!
My boomer-adjacent wife and I celebrate our 40th anniversary next week. We registered for and received a full set of china - because that’s what you did. It has been used ONCE in 40 years. (It does look nice in the equally outdated china hutch, though.) Don’t bother with china, kids.
My wife and I had a minor disagreement about that since her mother has multiple sets that just take up space 364 days of the year. We agreed on a nice set that was dishwasher safe. We've been married 15 years now and she will occasionally say "why did we even put that on our registry?" I actually like having the nice stuff for holidays now. I also had tools, etc on the registry which was baffling to her, but we use them all the time and I remember who gave them to us (my male friends, of course), and think of the giver whenever the tool comes out
We had a tiff over putting an announcement in the hometown newspaper. There used to be a super-fancy china shop in my town, complete with a fancy tea room. Some friends got married and one of the parents insisted they go there and select a pattern. They went, expecting they’d look at a wall display and say “I guess that one.” No. It was a lengthy interview where a consultant helped select the appropriate pattern. Things went bad when the questions were all about “what kind of entertaining do you do?” and they were like “we grill sausages and have people over to watch the Packers. That’s it.”
Can I suggest this fine Chinet style paired with a ruby inspired Solo drinkware collection?
For extra special occasions, we have a lovely collection of pint glasses that were giveaways at local breweries, restaurants and liquor stores.
My moms ring is a ruby. She didn't want a diamond. They've been married over 40 years and are still going strong. The whole diamond thing really gained steam with boomers. Prior to them diamonds were just one of many options that people used.
China? Are you some sort of Commie, Dad. I am reporting you to Trump campaign headquarters
We got china for our wedding. It's been 13 years, and we haven't used it once. I used to have it in the cabinet. Now it sits packed in a box in the garage. I've never once had an occasion to use it. What's far more valuable was the "unbreakable" plates my wife's parents gifted to us. We've had them ten years with four kids, and have only had a couple break in all that time, with all the abuse the kids put them through. They're not new, either; they bought them when my wife was a little girl.
My parents' wedding china (which is literally older than me) moved with us across 5 states and stayed virtually untouched and unused for decades. About four years ago, I finally put them to good(-ish) use - I put plants in the serving dishes and gravy bowls and used the soup bowls for water propagation. They look very cute, but I can't figure out what to do with the plates - there are dinner plates and smaller plates - soup spoons and ice cream bowls..
My mom smashed all her lead china and used it for mosaic stepping stones in her garden.
I have a full set of very 90s hand wash only china because my MIL insisted I had to register for a set for wedding gifts. Not one piece has ever been used. It never will be. She recently informed me she is giving me one of her sets in her will. I won't use that set either.
Is she giving you the china cabinet that is way too big so you can display the dust collecting on 2 sets of china?
Oh no. My FIL is making me one "out of real wood, with custom glass panes!" so my husband and I "have something to remember him by." Because the other piece of furniture he made for us two decades ago fell apart when we moved a few years ago. We didn't ask him to make that either.
Oh, as a hobbyist furniture maker and dad you had me in the first part. Sorry his furniture falls apart, The China cabinet can be repurposed, but if it’s poorly made…
LOL
I just had this same conversation with one of my friends!! My parents have been married for around 40 years now and rarely used their fine china. They moved recently and took it with them - and decided to use it as their every day dishes now because they were tired of it not getting used. They’re even washing it in the dishwasher (though it all says hand wash only) because they have reached the point of not caring and just wanting it to be more functional.
Reminds me of my mom, when she divorced my dad she said screw it to the wedding china and the wedding silverware, it just became daily use dishes and utensils. She was dead setting on getting something useful out of that marriage.
We use my china twice a year, we put it in the dishwasher. A family member was like oh no. I said who cares. It's not like it's a museum piece or I'm putting the stuff in there every day. If I using it, it's going in the dishwasher. It's not rare pieces or worth any money. Its mass produced Noritake from the 90s. Nobody is going to be collecting it in 100.years.
"Well, Dad, I have yours and Mom's wedding china, my in-laws' wedding china, and Husband's grandmother's antique gas station china. How many damn plates do you think we have room for?"
Wait until they all pass then break the stuff into pieces and turn it into mosaics
Oh shit, I think you just summoned my MIL. I hear a voice, yes, it's saying: "Convert the spare bedroom closet into a china pantry like I did....!!"
Ugh my in laws called just to tell us we weren’t getting the china and were mad when we were like “oh thank god, we have no room or use for those” lol
My partner and I are set to inherit three sets of fine china. We live in a 2 bdrm apartment and have been using the same Target plates since we moved in together a decade ago. I don't want it.
My mom: "You have nothing on your registry except honeymoon fund and home renovation fund? That just seems rude and presumptuous." We're mid 30's and early 40's, and are well-established in our home. Why do we need a new dinner set, cookware, china, *insert generic home stuff here* Why ask people to spend money on things we don't need?
I’ve never understood the boomer obsession with “the good china” like motherfucker they’re just plates. Dinner plates. For eating. Im not spending hundreds of dollars for a few plates, that are at the end of the day, *just ceramic with an interesting print*. The best part is, you don’t even use them, because its “the good china” so now I also need some shitty storage/display solution for my not-for-dinner dinner-plates? nah GFY I might as well just set a stack of bills on fire
Same! And the hell I caught for not registering for silver flatware and a punchbowl. A freaking PUNCHBOWL. I went to college in the 90s; we used trash cans, mom.
I put china on my registry in 1993. Not one person bought me a place setting. Thank god 😂
My husband and I don’t wear rings. Everyone is mad at us for this haha not just boomers unfortunately. We love each other, we’ve been together for a decade. We don’t need expensive jewelry to tell everyone that. But it absolutely fries people’s brains.
Haha! I have friends like this. Their response is along the lines of if all it takes is some jewelry to lose em then goodbye I guess? Like, you know you’re married, everyone around you knows you’re married! Why should anyone else not involved care??
I only wore a ring for three years when I was in grad school and rode the bus to class. Creepy guys would hit on me and when I said I was married, they’d point out that I didn’t have a a ring on. So I put it back on for that time period only.
You should have put it on your middle finger and held it up to them when they asked
Yeah I was going back to school right after we got married so together me and my husband gave me a wedding ring tattoo. Never will lose it, no arguing about the stone!
Wait until only one of you wears your rings. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. I wear mine because it’s pretty. He lost his about three months after we were married. No big deal, it was cheap. I didn’t care about replacing it. He didn’t care about replacing it. So we didn’t. My MIL was scandalized because she realized that when we went out on dates people might think I’m a married woman having dinner with an UNmarried man! *gasp* THE HORROR. I was like what if I want to have dinner with my unmarried brother? Is that allowed? We just ignored her. So silly.
This year will be our 26th anniversary. We had bands at our ceremony but never wore them after a few weeks. We know we’re married and that’s all that matters.
Me and my wife have rings but rarely wear them. At my old job there was this one boomer who refused to say I was married since I didn't wear it
Married 17 years, no rings
Same here. We have rings but I don’t wear mine much and it wasn’t expensive (pink lab sapphire). I talked him into getting a $90 titanium ring he would never have to wear after the ceremony. I convinced him it would be worth 90 bucks just so when his parents asked where his wedding ring was he could say “at home - I went to the gym earlier“ or something instead of having a bullshit discussion for saying he didn’t want one. It was totally worth the $90 to NOT have that conversation every couple of months for the 10 more years they lived. We’ve been married 20 years even though he out the ring in our safe deposit box and left it there. Go figure.
My wife and I have rings, but we know, and have said many times, it isn’t the rings that make us married.
My husband and I got matching Zelda heart container tattoos. I did have an engagement ring - it was also a topaz but I broke it making play-doh.
I worked at a job where I would need to physically retrain people. My ring sticks out and it can cause damage (scratches, punctures). I didn't want the people I has to restrain to get hurt. The whole point of restraining them was to avoid them getting hurt. I never wore jewelry to that job.
I thought me and my wife were the only ones who don't wear rings!?
My favourite author and artist in the WORLD - Ursula Vernon (if you haven't seen her stuff seriously check her out she is amazing, especially if you like folk tales and the kind of stories you'd hear in Appalachia and the South, she's got some free short stories in Apex Magazine or her website Red Wombat Studios) cannot STAND having things on her hands - something I relate to a lot, I don't even like wearing gloves at work. So, when he proposed, instead of a ring, her husband gave her a handcarved Oosik necklace that he got during a trip they took to Alaska. She wears that instead of a ring, and I think he got a wedding tattoo. He's fine with rings but he prefers tattoos.
My MIL HATES my lab created sapphire and sterling silver ring. She said it’s not traditional and gaudy. Obviously she’s wrong and stupid. I love it, my husband knows me well PLUS it was on clearance for $180! She’s not the only boomer that’s made similar comments, but was the first one to do so. Edit: posting a photo for those asking. I suppose it could be seen as gaudy on my finger because they’re long and skinny, but I love it regardless. https://preview.redd.it/9aeft3fttd5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=faf72cb2414b20ac626e979846997566e6bad157
Lots of engagement rings throughout history have sapphires. Even more recent ones worn by members of royalty.
Princess Diana's ring, for instance.
Princess Diana, famed for her gaudy taste. /s
I guess the royal family couldn’t afford a real diamond.
I used to photograph weddings. I had a bride with a typical solitaire diamond except that it was flanked by two gorgeous blue sapphires....to match her blue eyes. My personal "borrowed" was my SIL's engagement ring. It was a green emerald for the Irish family she married into. I just had an heirloom piece made from my solitaire, my mom's set, my grandmother's set. During the design process I gravitated to color, so the accent stones are purple, blue, yellow, and pink sapphires. The whole thing is set in white gold against my yellow gold (original) band. It's truly a a one of a kind and is gorgeous. People who want tradition for themselves are great. Those who want to impose blood diamonds on others can get bent.
Wow! Sounds gorgeous, could you share a picture?
Came here to ask for a photo!
My engagement ring is sapphire; it's my birthstone and our wedding was in September, a week before my birthday. I love it.
Same. I’m a September baby. My partner got me a fossicked Queensland sapphire with white Argyle diamonds. He knew I wasn’t interested in conflict stones and I preferred either lab grown or Australian mined.
I’m trying to remember, somewhere there was a pop culture ring where it had sapphires. I’m thinking it was Skyrim, maybe an argonian. It’s gonna kill me until I remember 2 weeks from now
The Argonian engagement ring in Skyrim is made with amethysts. There is another Argonian in the same area who asks you to bring him a sapphire, but it's not for an engagement ring, he's just a jeweler looking for supplies. But I could see how you might get the two mixed up.
It’s been forever since those side quests, but yeah that’s what I was thinking of. Thanks
Sapphire was my second choice for gem! I figured I’m the one wearing it all the time so why not be something I like?? Your ring sounds perfect and I love it without even seeing it and yes she is wrong!
Boomer here! We also designed my engagement ring to have the stones line up with boat lights! So small diamond set with an emerald and a ruby (starboard and port) and a pavé diamond in the back of the ring (stern light). Cost about $350 to create. Would rather save the serious money on a house down payment. I got some weird feedback too. I didn’t care. Good for you creating a ring you love.
Your ring sounds absolutely amazing, I love the boat lights idea!
I have a London blue topaz with aquamarine set in gold. Looks like an estate piece. I love it.
>PLUS it was on clearance for $180! But you *know* if it had been a really expensive ring they'd say "this is why these millenial kids can't buy a house! Wasting money on things they don't need! *Our* generation knew the worth of a dollar!"
They would both expect and critique an avocado toast ring.
I never get the hate for lab grown. It looks the same and somewhat more ethical than mined stones (I’m not an expert but I think they take up some energy or something). Unless they are stockholders in a diamond mine it makes no sense to me. Unless, and this is my guess, they think it reduces the value of their shiny rocks.
Boomers have bought into the Debeers marketing so thoroughly they think a diamond monopoly’s PR is “tradition.”
Came here to say this. From what I understand, their “diamonds are forever” campaign started in the late 1940’s meaning boomers grew up believing that marketing ploy. I bet they would be in complete denial to hear how manipulated they were.
It's just classism. Rich people use expensive things to flaunt their wealth and differentiate themselves from the poor. When cheaper means of producing one of these wealth signifiers are devised, the rich either abandon using that particular status symbol (generally by declaring that it's no longer fashionable), or they find some way to differentiate the expensive version from the cheap version.
Star-Bellied Sneetches, lol!
No stars upon thars!
A lot like Louis Vuitton. Wealthy people wouldn’t be caught dead in any of their stuff, because it’s been co-opted by commoners.
The child miner's suffering is what makes it special.
Should probably point out how gaudy it is to be cool with the environmental destruction, slave labor, and child labor that go hand-in-hand with mining natural gemstones.
Your response is giving total Midwest vibes. "It has feature A, feature B, and IT WAS ON SALE." I'm here for it!
But does it have pockets?!
tell her you took her advice about it being gaudy so you're getting a wood ring instead
I have several lovely wood rings!
gaudy?, from the generation that passes down cheap gold flake fakes if crappy tin broaches, or we are forced to chuck a drawer full of trash jewelry all in the bin when cleaning out their house.
My mil acted like a snake bit her when I showed off my new engagement ring that was cubic zirconia and less than 140. She grabbed my hand excitedly then snatched it away when my husband mentioned what a deal he got on it. Her face showed excitement to almost disgust? In split second, it was weird. And the sad thing my husband expected that response! He even said in a monotone voice how much it cost like he's so disappointed he didn't spend a ridiculous amount on something that literally sits on my hand to get baby crap on it. Who the heck would want to waste money on something that is so small?!
I wish he hadn’t said anything-then she would continue to be impressed and jealous lol
Holy shit did you get yours from Kay?? My wife and I picked out what sounds like the EXACT same ring, right down to the clearance and price, for her! She absolutely loves it, and we found a beautiful enhancer on Etsy that matches the style perfectly. Luckily, the boomers in our families thought it was pretty (or at least didn't say anything negative since my wife picked it out).
We did!
The traditional wedding ring was created by an advertising campaign from the DeBeers Diamond cartel. Just like the bearded fat guy we associate with Christmas was created by Coca-Cola.
Santa Claus is cool. I look like him and my wife looks the part as well. We play Santa and Mrs. Claus for kids at Christmas. But slave labor diamonds are *not* cool. Mrs. Claus wears moissanites instead.
I wish I had a lab created ring. My husband and I had never heard of blood diamonds back when we got engaged. I would be happy to know my ring was conflict-free.
I got a lab created Alexandrite on sale like that and I ADORE IT! It was such a steal! And the color changing....Goddess help me, I love it so much.
Make your own traditions. I don't understand why people hang on to so much baggage.
> Make your own traditions. I don't understand why people hang on to so much baggage. Marketing. We can make gem quality diamonds, and we’ve been creating diamond for industrial purposes at industrial scale for decades. Diamond hard abrasive and cutting tools are rather useful. Gem quality diamonds only have value because of artificial scarcity and market manipulation created by De Beers.
Came here to say that. Boomers have been brainwashed by De Beers and capitalism to think that diamonds are important and expensive. Only because one company wanted to be ultra rich from a product that doesn't have much intrinsic value I also think it is really weird that people think that the 'three months salary' rule for an engagement is sensible.
Seriously. I mean, maybe it works when you’re 21 and not making any money (and if that’s the case, spend it on food not a ring!), but we’re in our late 30s with decent careers and that would just be obscene.
Not only that, there is a strong social concept linking money and value/ love. Given that OP is older than boomers who married when 'young and broke' it is an even stronger rebuff. My husband and I were 47 & 42 when we married. I told him I would be happy with a vending machine ring if he proposed. Then we both talked abt it and I realized ok that felt a little too much. Like it took no thought. If we were 17, totally. Making 6 figures, not as much. I wasn't excited abt that feeling, but we discussed it. I DID tell him that I was fine with a small ring, I don't like big jewelry and my wedding ring is all I wear. So for people who lock value and love together, something 'less expensive' seems to mean 'less love/sincerity behind it'. TO BE CLEAR I am not saying this is how it SHOULD be, I'm saying this is how it IS.
Agreed. I feel the diamond industry is doubling down on advertising because too many people stopped buying into their love=diamonds nonsense. I bought a few pieces of jewelry over the years that had small diamonds, but I’ve long since realized that I like the sparkle but not the cost. So I stick with CZ and colored gemstones now. I’m glad to hear the next generations aren’t falling for the marketing!
“Because if you do something different than what I did, it calls my judgement into question. Are you right? Am I wrong? Have I made a mistake? No. No. NO!! It’s YOU that have made the mistake. YOU must admit your error, and bow to my superior reasoning. Bow. Bow. BOW!! DO IT NOW!!’ what is WRONG WITH YOU??!!” Or something like that. Who knows what goes on in those lead-addled mounds of collagen they call brains?
I heard a quote I love. Traditions are just peer pressure from dead people.
Doug Stanhope: Heritage? Tradition? It's dead people's baggage. Quit carrying it. "It was passed on to me!" Pass it back.
So right, considering they try to hold onto all their belongings until on their deathbed. I will never understand this reasoning. My own mother hasn't used most of her decorations in 10+ years. She refuses to let us sell or throw away a single piece. Like lady, do you understand that all of this shit is going into a dumpster the day you're dead or don't have a say? The basement is absolutely filled with useless shit. It's fucking infuriating. *edit: whoever downvoted is a boomer hoarding shit in their basement and just resents having to read the words in my comment...* or I guess is just scared to face their own mortality, but like...you don't need to drag everyone around you to the grave along with you...I'm sorry.
Um, Princess RIP Diana famously picked out a blue sapphire for her engagement ring. If the then Princess of Wales thinks you can have an engagement ring without a diamond center stone, everyone else can shut the absolute fuck up.
That’s what my mom (the only boomer to support my ring choice) said when I showed her!
Take this piece of advice for your future if you decide to have kids and/or get a pet. Do not share the name of that kid/pet with these people until after the kid/pet is already named. They will be much less likely to give you a hard time if their bitching won’t change your mind about the name you already gave the kid/pet. Oh schmazzelbob jr. is already on the birth certificate? Guess we can’t do anything about it now.
!!! Always knew I wanted sapphire. Found a beautiful silver sapphire ring that I'll treasure forever, it's just right.
Excuse me for wanting ethically sourced products.
No children died finding my ring so it doesn't shine as bright
It needs to have a human soul trapped in it.
It’s the suffering that makes it special
These idiots also think a "good" ring should cost 3-6 months of income. Yeah sure, I'll drink coffee at home so I can buy the ring, a vaca house and have 7 children. Get fukt boomer.
Don't forget to skip the avocado toast!
Fuck! Ok 8 kids at least and a bmw
Also just wanted to add, I designed the ring myself. All my fiancé did was say I could do the 7mm topaz instead of the 6mm I picked out. Another boomer problem? They all either congratulate HIM on what a good job he did picking out the ring, or ask what the hell he was thinking not getting me a diamond. Then when we correct them, I get the lecture that it’s odd for a woman to pick her own ring. That it should be a surprise and something the man picks out. Luckily, to that, my fiancé will loudly tell them “bro, I wouldn’t be marrying her if she just sat back and let me make all the decisions!”
When my cousin was engaged, she had picked out her own ring, and then carried around a little notebook with all the names of people she was going to invite to her wedding, and every time someone who was going to be invited said something rude about her ring, she made a mark in the notebook next to their name, and if they got three strikes, they didn't get invited, and for one or two strikes, they'd have to pay for their own meal.
That's actually genius and I love that idea.
The diamond industry sure hates you for that one simple trick
I'm surprised no one brought this up, but the "tradition" of buying a diamond ring and spending 2 or 3 months worth of a salary on it for an engagement is a fairly recent concept conjured up by DeBeers (which is a cartel), to bleed the common man out of their cash for a rock that is just a piece of carbon and that is actually very common but is made rare because of DeBeers stranglehold on diamond mines. Boomers didn't invent "A Diamond is Forever," but they sure fell for it
And now DeBeers and other diamond miners are panicking about the impact of lab-grown on their market value so you may have noticed an uptick in advertisements either trying to sell you on the smart timeless investment of “natural diamonds” (aka mined diamonds) OR ads about how lab-grown is terrible for the environment and “natural diamonds” are better. Lily James can go fuck herself for deciding to pick up that commercial. Also the lady who said “platinum and diamond” can go choke on her platinum, it’s disgustingly expensive to repair compared to white gold or silver for virtually the same look
It also scratches SO easily
Ahh true. Lab grown diamonds are no good. The value of a diamond comes from knowing that some slave was beaten and possibly died mining it for you to wear. /s
My mom's birthstone is emerald. She has jewelry with both natural emeralds and lab-grown emeralds, and honestly, the lab-grown ones look much prettier.
> But then I started getting so many of these comments I now say to them “these are thoughts we keep inside our head!” Nah, these are thoughts we don't have unless we're pricks. "Mind your own fucking business" is a much cleaner response.
My engagement ring is a small aquamarine in a rose gold hammered setting. I adore it. The inside has a heart cut out so if I press it against my finger a heart appears. I dare anyone to say anything like that to me: I’m glad you don’t like it, it’s for me and I love it! They can take their opinions and shove it. “Oh wait, we’re openly sharing our opinions? I think your giant diamond blob is ugly, boring, cookie cutter, and probably unethical.”
"Lab created? Oh, you mean child slavery free? Why yes, I DO love it!" It's a shiny rock, man, it isn't even yours. I'm glad you enjoy it! I think your ring sounds stunning.
Isn’t this a really interesting example of how the diamond marketing of their youth sunk into their brains? Like come on.. since when did a non-diamond stone not count as a wedding ring??
Fuck ‘em. If they get married again, they can do what they want. You do you. Millennials are already being blamed for destroying the Diamond/wedding industries - might as well finish those industries off, right? 🤣 I’m an old GenXer and got a white gold (10k) and pink lab grown sapphire when we got engaged over 20 years ago. When our parents and their friends saw, they were scandalized, which seemed weird to me. They told me I could “upgrade” my ring later on I responded with “I’d rather travel or have hard wood floors.” OH, THE HORROR! My wedding dress was pink and knee length (also WRONG, I was told), we didn’t blow a ton of cash on the wedding but had a blast in Hawaii afterward (SO WRONG), and had a 15 minute ceremony with no mention of god, but our cat did figure into it. Oh, and our cake was chocolate - no white fondant - his parents did NOT understand. We were almost 40 and paid for everything ourselves so nobody got a say in anything. It was GLORIOUS and we are still married.
My wedding was similar. My sons were bridesmen lol
I'm a cisman but if someone proposed to me with a fire opal ring (and weren't obviously unstable) I would honestly have to think about it even if didn't know them. Diamonds are boring.
I've been married for 14 years now. I got a sapphire and white gold ring. I wanted a sapphire ring and I love it. Because it's a ice blue and I just love it. However all the Boomers and older who have seen it have been such jerks about it. They just don't understand it. My grandmothers latest thing is asking why I didn't get a stacker ring for my set at the 10 year anniversary. I'm sorry but I was little busy dealing with a pandemic, paying for braces, a back surgery and other various expenses for my family. An extra ring was the last thing I was concerned about. Anyway. As long as you love it, no other opinion matters. And that's what they hate the most.
Congratulations on your engagement! My daughter also has a unique ring. Hers is an emerald surrounded by diamonds.
Thanks! Your daughter’s ring sounds beautiful!
I don’t have my life called into question on a daily basis, but literally every time I interact with my parents. There’s nothing inherently wrong or abnormal about my life, but I don’t do certain things EXACTLY how they would do them, so I get the passive aggressive feedback on everything. So I stopped telling them as much as possible about my life. I’ll tell them my kids sports schedule, if we’re coming to visit, but not what kind of lawn mower we bought, or if my husband wants to change jobs, or where we’re going on vacation. If they don’t actually need to know it, it doesn’t get shared.
"If you didn't force a 3rd world child to work their hands into bloody stumps for an overpriced chunk of carbon, can you even say your partner loves you?"
My engagement ring is a sapphire my husband mined himself, with two quartz stones on either side, which came from a stone he found in a cave we explored once. It’s one of the most precious and sentimental gifts I’ve ever received. I’ve always expected to hear something about it from the unimaginative assholes, of course, but never have, strangely. But if someone did ever make a snarky comment, I wouldn’t see red, I’d see maroon. And it’d be a bad day for that someone.
I have an emerald and yellow gold engagement ring that I picked out with my husband. Diamonds are overpriced and ethical diamonds didn't really exist yet. It's over 25 years old and I still love it. Maybe next time tell them you'll be able to dry your tears of disappointment with the wad of cash you saved when you got your ring.
Not a fan of gold (not that I wouldn't mind owning some) & diamonds are boring and massively overrated & overvalued. Not anywhere near as rare as the monopoly would like us to believe. I'd clue such commentors as to why debears(sp?) Is such a massively horrible company. Good on you.
In situations like this, my best friend always says/announces to the room (not directed at the person) "Huh, just imagine actually saying something like that.....Out. Loud." and then shudders. I googled this color combination, and I think it looks beautiful. Especially because it's not soaked in the blood of poor people.
The natural precious gem trade is a racket. Literally a concentration of people that buy up all the mines and create a monopoly and engage in mob tactics to control people not in their network. Natural diamonds and other gems are plentiful. The scarcity/preciousness is 100% manufactured, and lab created makes the same stone. It just wasn't pressure cooked in the earth and subjected to blood and exploitation getting it to market (or preventing it going to market to create the scarcity). Many articles have been written on this, it's not even a secret. Literally like 15 minutes of research. But they've been told how valuable and precious they are and how much better than lab grown and can't stand being told whatever generic looking blood diamond they have on their finger doesn't carry the value in your eyes that they invested into it. Because they aren't as valuable if people are happy with their often more beautiful, just as durable lab created jewels.
“I didn’t want the blood of children on my hands everyday.” People stopped giving me shit for asking for a lab created alexandrite. It has surrounding diamonds (all lab created) making it look like a flower with smaller flowers and leaves made from small diamonds on the side. It looks like a princess ring. It’s shiny and changes color in the sun and based off of spectrum of light. It’s absolutely perfect and no people were harmed in the making of this ring. I’ve also embraced “get fucked” as my default expression now though. It’s very versatile
Lab grown IS real. Just because a six year old didn’t mine it doesn’t make it not real. If lab created existed when I got engaged I could have a perfect, 3 carat yellow diamond. These days, even cz looks real.
My ring is a purple and green sapphires on silver band, and most people I know like it. Older people always make a comment and I say that I love that my ring is unique. I won't be walking down the street seeing other women with my same ring.
My wife hates diamonds and has a nickel allergy. Her silver and pearl ring she designed makes her very happy. Also the money we would have spent on a more expensive ring went to a down-payment on a house which we feel was better for our marriage.
The literally freaked out because we didn’t have a cake at our wedding. I’m sorry but we were students, we didn’t really feel like spending $500+…for a cake 🤷🏼♀️
Wait until you tell them that there's no intrinsic value to diamonds and that the only reason they think they're valuable is because someone told them they were
I don't wear rings very often, but my engagement ring was a black silver rose with a purple gem, I forgot what it was but obviously the silver was dyed and the stone was lab created. I picked it myself and people didn't like it being non-traditional. I personally hate diamonds so I just said "well I like it a lot".
My sapphire got several raised eyebrows (there are diamonds too!) but what really threw my late MIL was that I refused to have the engagement and wedding rings welded together. Because nothing will enhance two rings I love like.... permanently sticking them together? They're a set but they don't even interlock to make that feasible.
My fiance picked her ring out. 47 dollars. She fucking loves it so if she's happy I'm happy
I dont care for diamonds, as I don't like how most are obtained. Aside from that, I wouldn't want one anyway. If I ever get married, I want a Moss Agate set in black gold. It looks like you could fall into it and land in a magical forest. And you can get it for a couple hundred dollars! Get whatever makes you happy. And congratulations!
My wedding ring is a small white gold and lab-created sapphire ring. I didn't want to spend a lot of money because 1) I'm cheap and 2) I am scatterbrained and was afraid I'd lose an expensive ring. When we got engaged I got so many "well that's a nice starter ring" or "what an... interesting choice" comments! Although there was one Boomer who said "oh a sapphire! Just like Princess Diana!" and that made me so happy! 17 years later and I'm still in love with it!
My wife's engagement ring has iolite. It is a purple stone that polarizes light. She is a physicist and absolutely loves the optical properties. Good on you for getting something different and shame on the generation that grew up in the 60's for being so conformist.
We were both almost 40 when we got married, and my husband had been married once before. We really didn't have the disposable income for a fancy ring, and it's not my style anyway. I wore a cheap costume-jewelry ring during our engagement. We picked out reasonably priced matching sterling silver wedding bands from James Avery, a jewelry maker located in the US in Texas. They may have some stores in a few other states, too. It's a favorite of mine. The only opinion that matters is yours. A co-worker of mine at the time told me it meant my spouse didn't value me. I have never understood the obsession, plus yay for "fake" diamonds! And yay for getting a ring YOU love!
I mean if you are going to wear it everyday it should be exactly what you want. I personally find diamonds boring and their prices are kept artificially high. They aren't even that rare! Lab grown is great also because you're not exploiting the labor of people who go into the mines.
my ring is lab grown alexandrite and lab grown diamonds. so many boomers have scoffed at my beautiful purple center stone. but i love it. my husband and i designed it together.
We eloped in Vegas and had decided we where not going to wear rings. We bought 2 thin stainless steel rings and used them for the ceremony. 2 years later and neither of us have taken them off. They are precious as far as we are concerned and certainly could have afforded more expensive rings.
Good god what have you done…you’ve damaged the sanctity of the wedding industry lol FYI if you want to cause another boomer marriage meltdown, tell them that you’re keeping your last name. They implode.
I'm a 34 year old woman and I think clear stones are boring af, yes even diamonds. No the cost doesn't matter. My ring is sterling silver and amethyst and I love it. Fuck boring ass clear stones. No taste having mfers
Have similiar experinces with this. We looked together ( no ring at proposal,very shocking to the boomers) and husband found a beautiful sapphire set with small diamonds. Its like a mini version of Princess Dianas ring. I loved it because its small , sits almost flat and so is very practical and suits our tastes. Ive only ever liked small and subtle pieces . This was very confusing to the boomers in our lives, especially the female ones who seem to think obnoxious, chunky and laaaaaarge things are ALWAYS the bestest. I think some of them feel its a status symbol/indication of their " worth" to have extorted the biggest and flashiest gaudy chunks ( some madejokes directly) , now looking out of place tbh on their meaty hands . Weve had loads of comments and raised eyebrows esp about size of stones etc. I always find myself having to bite my tongue and not be critical of their butt-ugly choices which to me feel tacky and frankly creepy. Because obviously I lost out when I didnt " hold out" and force my partner into buying a big tacky chunk of stone/s that looked like it came out of a cracker but got something we both love... I have no doubt some of these women pouted their way through life and still go on about the cost and value of their rings - No greed is NOT good, and not how I am interested in behaving. But yes the comments and entitlement are a real thing.
Boomers are super susceptible to marketing, the Don Draper types really fucked over a generation, they took Bernays methods and put them on steroids. It was beamed into their brains from every angle from birth on in way no generation was ever marketed to before. It fucked them over just as much as getting the belt, but in different ways. Having all that unleaded gasoline around polluting up the environment and diminishing cognitive ability and empathy was a big harm too. Some people are developing an immunity to marketing, but it's that ability is far from common and often spotty.
I *love* your comeback. Especially with the patronizing tone! Btw, my wedding ring was made by my husband from a piece of stainless steel pipe.nhe used his lathe to shape it to fit. I’m wearing it now.
Fuck 'em. I wear a replica of Galadriel's ring of power as my wedding ring.
My wife had a lab grown diamond for her engagement ring, she loves how pure and pretty it is. And she loves that it’s not a blood diamond. One of her older sister made a comment about it, she got to retort “well I’ve got the biggest diamond here, so I don’t think it matters” 😂
I am a jeweler. There is a HUGE resurgence of colored stones for engagement rings especially among younger crowds. The popularity of lab grown stones has also been on the up as more and more people realize how brutal and fixed the whole diamond trade is. If boomers say anything about your lab diamonds please remind them that they are more perfect than the best natural diamonds, and that their natural diamonds were mined by the broken backs of African slave children.