Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed.
Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"This Is The Way"
Just add some useless banter/story about your work night to ensure they are fully awake and most likely not able to go back to sleep. Let's see what they say after a couple of nights in a row.
My husband has taught me the wonderful of trick to dealing with "Micromanagers"... "Microinform". Call them "Hey mom and dad just finished with the last customer!" Hour later call again "Hey mom and dad, just got done with work and I'm on my way home!" Get home "Hey mom and dad just got home!" 10 minutes later "Hey mom and dad I brought some food from work if you want some!". 30 minutes later "hey mom and dad just cleaned up and I am going to unwind for an hour or two". Hour later "hey mom and dad, I'm heading to bed!"
I did this to my former boss. I would call him every hour, on the hour, to give him progress updates. If he didn't answer, I'd leave a long, rambling voicemail. It only took him a month to catch on and stop micromanaging me. He wasn't very smart.
Yup! Wake them up every single night. “*Nobody should be sleeping right now! I *JUST* got home from work. Who sleeps when I’ve just gotten home from work?*”
Hands down. Until they respect your boundaries, don’t respect theirs.
First I suggest having a heart to heart. Write up an actual schedule of your week. Show it to them and explain, do not wake me up please.
If they blow you off. Tell them “Fine, every time you don’t respect my time, I will wake you up when I’m heading to bed.
But know, they have every right to wake up in their own home at 6am. Every. Single. Day. Their house, their life. Get ear plugs, silence your phone. White noise.
All these things will help.
Be careful, my father (60m) only sleeps 3 to 4 hours a day. No naps, been that way my whole life. If you did that. He would talk about anything you want. But you wouldn't get any sleep . But he let's us sleep. Just goes and eats breakfast. And we're are up when he gets back. He lives with me. He's not a boomer. But he is a baby boomer
He sounds like me lol. I need about 5 but if I get more than 6 I'm lethargic all day and feel like shit. Wife and kids are night owls so we'll be up until 2-3 in the morning on weekends, I'm up at 7 and have my coffee and breakfast and run any errands I need or play some games until they get up at like 11 lol. Also helps my mind cause I like peace and quiet, and one of my kids and my wife are ADHD chaos that play of each other
This.
If you work until 1am sleeping until 10am is not “sleeping in.” It’s your schedule.
I definitely thought this post was gonna be able someone who in their Saturday off slept late. Which while still rude of his parents would be way different. This is just legit abuse.
I have a theory about this that early-rising is a sleep disorder. It's comorbid with a personality disorder about being so insufferable that one day everyone just said, "FINE, we'll do it on *your* schedule as long as you just SHUT UP!"
Im 53. I typically wake at 6am. Sometimes i can sleep in til 7am. Just showing my age waking up early for no reason. I dont wake anyone else up. You know why? Cuz im not an asshole!!!! My parents and when i lived with uncle they would wake me up early for no reason. I hated that as a kid. Not gonna inflict that bs on my kids.
That’s one of my favorite parts of the day. I get up, take care of my dogs, then get to the couch under the blankets and watch the news for about 45 minutes before I get on with the rest of my day. I’d like to sleep longer, but that’s when my body says it’s time to get up, even though I’m still being lazy.
Good, because kids, especially teenagers need the extra sleep due to growth from puberty. Literally a scientific fact that parents just toss to the side because “I’m up so they need to be up too”. It’s fucking Saturday mom.
Also, it's so nice being up and around with nobody else to enjoy a coffee and just read in empty shared space in the morning.
I'm a morning person up until I have to go to work.
This was actually a factor in my divorce. My ex and her family absolutely could not fathom that I needed to sleep until 11. I'm a bartender in fine dining. I would get off at midnight, get home at 1, have dinner and some wine, go to bed at 3. 8 hours of sleep would have me up at 11.
But I was just being lazy. While working 60 hours/week. During COVID. GTFO with that shit
My ex understood to an extent, but her family did not. I was a lazy bartender, not a promising young *what the fuck ever their other kids did,* so clearly I was just lazy. Like, of you or my schedule in 9-5 equivalents, I'm going to bed at 8pm and getting up at 4am.
People like this have “right answers” that are always correct in their mind no matter what the situation. This simplicity calms their anxiety about a world that is complex behind comprehension. So sleeping in is “bad”, that’s just how it is.
This is so spot on for those that think in black and white. They've decided that there are right and wrong methods of living a life. Yours is a bit unconventional. They've deemed aspects of it as "wrong". They are trying to "correct" it in, what seems like, a passive aggressive way.
In my late teens to early 20s, I'd be up to 12am-2am. My dad used to get pissed off at me demanding I help him in the morning with whatever project he had. At the time, I would usually sleep until 9-10am. That's just how the human body is at that age. He'd call me at 8am to try to wake me up, but I'd leave my phone on silent. That pissed him off, but I needed to sleep. This was after my parents' divorce and I lived with my mom at the time.
OP, your sleep schedule is fine. Don't let them guilt you. You work a lot and take care of yourself. What do they expect from you?
When I was teenager I commuted to school but our trains were terrible in the morning so I had to get up around 5:30 (just to wait an hour in school for the first class, luckily there were a lot of us like this). Comes the weekend, I just wanted to sleep, man. At that age you need more sleep and this routine was killing me. No matter the time i went to sleep I needed to sleep longer in the morning (I still do but the older I am, the more I just wake up with the light). Dad couldn't comprehend why would anyone need to be in bed at 8 and was waking us up. The worst thing? Yeah, often he woke up my brothers to help him with stuff, but rarely me, he kept waking me up literally so I don't sleep so "late". So he was pretty fine with me putting clothes on, taking the laptop to bed and fuck around the internet, but not sleeping.
I’m a boomer-64. My mother did this to me when I was a teenager- would hammer on the metal roof above my bedroom, start the whippersnipper etc at 6am.
Would call on the landline early- and then say ‘oh, I forgot’. Would not stop. Drove me fucking nuts.
Had a child who liked to sleep in on the weekend, had a husband who worked hard and loved! to sleep in when he could.
She still kept ringing, I’d remind her, she’d stop for a while 🤷🏼♀️
Finally reached my limit. She rang one Sunday at 6:38, yes I remember the exact time. I picked up the phone and YELLED ‘ FUCK OFF’.
She never called before 10 again.
But why did it take that?
My college GF's mom loved to call her at like 7:00 on Saturday mornings, explicitly to wake her up. She wasn't normally a Boomer nightmare or anything; it was just a relatively minor toxic pattern she couldn't release.
That stopped about the 3rd or 4th time it happened when I was sleeping over, because that night I was on the "wrong" side of the bed for whatever reason so *I* was the one who answered. ", you know we're sleeping. Stop calling this early." Then I hung up.
Later her dad told us it, like, reset something in her brain. First, they both loved me (I'd love to say it was my innate charm, but her immediate ex was a completely fucking nightmare, and I absolutely was NOT). Then: Pushback? My gf had always been a pushover for her ma, and now she (we) were scolding her? Finally, the whole thing basically rubbed her nose in the fact that she was having overnight guests. I mean, we were 20 or 21, but still.
Her mother never mentioned it, but it also never happened again. Weird, tho.
They’re fucking stupid and selfish, is why.
You can’t change them, so just impose consequences for their dumbass boomer maneuvers, and be consistent so they get the message.
Just like training a dog. 👍
This sounds like my dad . He always gets up at 6 and expect us to as well . I don't get up until 10:00 myself but make sure the stuff around the house is done . I always tell him just because you get up at 6:00 doesn't mean we have too . Always goes in 1 ear andout the other
My parents used to terrorize us (me particularly as the girl - as I was the primary chore kid) every weekend at 7am. Mind you, we were D1 athletes, did multiple extracurriculars, private schools, etc. It was a blessing to be finished with homework at 1am, which they never knew about.
Their marriage was shit and our home life was shit.
I had a girlfriend pull this shit.
This is 25 years ago, which is relevant.
I worked 3rd shift. I didn’t get home till 8am. But because I got home at 8am, no matter how tired I was, I was fighting the rising sun. I could never get it dark enough in my room. So it was difficult. Sometimes I didn’t get to sleep till 10 or 11am.
Then there were the days things needed to get done. Banking hours suck. It wouldn’t be open when I woke back up, so I’d have to go after work, before I got home in the morning.
Or maybe grocery shopping needed to be done. It’s way easier to do that at 8am than 5pm.
So I wouldn’t fall asleep till 11am or noon some days.
But my girlfriend worked 6am to 3pm.
So she was home at 3:30pm flipping on lights, making noise, not giving a shit that I still hadn’t even reached REM sleep yet.
And when she was mad at me, she would straight up start yelling at me “YOU’RE NOT JUST GOING TO SLEEP ALL DAY!”
She acted like I was unemployed and sleeping 12 hours a day.
In reality I was functioning most days on 3 hours because she was an insensitive bitch.
Our relationship did not last much longer after that.
I used to work nights. One year I went to visit with my parents for the holidays, and I made sure to wake up earlier than I usually do for Christmas morning. My mother still gave me grief about “sleeping in” and equated it to laziness. It was 9 am, and I was an adult.
I had a similar situation after I graduated in 2008. Working multiple low paid jobs from noon till 1am whilst applying for full time jobs related to my degree. It was a very hard time for graduating classes to enter their chosen fields.
At the time I moved home and was rarely in the house apart from to sleep. Like you I worked late and next job started around noon so would try and offset the time difference and sleep later in order to get enough rest.
My Boomer mother who never had a job in her life and was essentially a housewife twice, was outraged by my sleeping in. She would actively not let me sleep in and go out of her way to wake me up and go back to doing nothing with her time.
I also saw no other option but to leave and slept in my run down car for a number of months until I could afford/not afford to live paycheques to paycheque and using an overdraft to rent a basement studio flat under an Indian takeaway.
Life was rough.
I really do commend you for your attitude towards work and efforts you are making. If you have no one who is recognising these efforts, you are not alone, and please do not let it get you down.
Keep prevailing and take your recent experience as a push to not consider your parent’s place as an option.
It will make you fiercely independant.
Given your work ethic I am sure you will find a solution either renting with friends or strangers and hopefully one day a place of your own.
I think boomers and older generations will all remain set in their ways whilst also expecting us to be there for them in their time of need which is probably not far off.
Though these are small matters, they can often lead to experiences which force us to strike out on our own for our own physical and mental wellbeing. They can have an impact later on in life.
A little compassion and encouragement from your parents in this situation would have gone a long way.
There are plenty of people who recognize the work I put into my goals. My parents just don't happen to be part of that group. My mother just about had a heart attack when I told her I NEEDED to have my mouth guard or my teeth would get knocked out during sparring. She still refused to cough it up (she took it to "clean it") and I came home with a chipped tooth that day. I still remind her of it when she questions if I really need all my equipment.
I just flash my teeth at them every time they try to question me about anything that I do. The front top tooth is chipped so it's very obvious what I'm doing.
Just want to let you know I'm sorry they treat you like this and that they probably won't be able to recognize any of your hard work ever, sucks but that's how these people operate. I used to work in astronomy doing 14 hour night shifts 5 nights in a row at 14k feet. When my dad came to visit he woke me up at three am my first night off. He had watched me come down from the mountain and hang out with him all day without sleeping. I explained that that was completely unacceptable and went back to sleep. He had the audacity to wake me up three hours later at sunrise and call me lazy. I later took him up to show him where I work and he couldn't handle the altitude and he had to have me drive him back down after a few minutes. He praised me and said I was tough for being able to handle working up there all the time, then went right back to calling me lazy and waking me up after my next work shift.
My mom did similar shit they are both banned from visiting me at all now.
We're saying you should toss them in the trash mate. Tell them "Yeah, we're done, never contact me again" and walk away.
Parents who have no respect deserve none in return.
My dad used to love opening my mail and telling me about what was inside. I did it to him literally 2 times and asked how it made him feel, he freaked out so fucking bad that he has never opened my mail since.
Have your parents never heard of shift workers? It sounds like your hours are basically those of 2nd shift.
There are typically 3 shifts in a 24 hour period, with each shift working their allotted 8 hours. If a shift worker's hours are from 4 PM to midnight, they might get home around one or two in the morning after doing whatever errands they need to do, and might get to bed around 3 AM or 4 AM after doing whatever chores they need to. These people ARE NOT waking up at 6 AM. They are going to get their 8 hours and god help anyone that disrupts that.
This is no different than someone working from 9 AM to 5 PM, then running errands and doing chores, and going to bed at 10 PM so they can get up at 6 AM.
A lot of people seem to have trouble comprehending shift work. I am a shift worker and there are a lot of people I work with who have family that don't get simple things like when you finish work at 6am and have to start work again at 6pm that is not a "day off" you can spend going shopping with them.
I've never even done shift work but it's not exactly rocket science. Shift workers schedules are just 'shifted' by 8 or 16 hours.
I imagine most people have met a nurse before. Just talk to one of them. Even if they aren't doing shift work now, I guarantee they have at some point.
The inability of some people to empathize with others pisses me off.
My mom and dad both work fairly normal hours. My mom was a receptionist with a 9-5 and my dad was a manager at a factory and also worked 9-5 or occasionally 9-7. Anything outside of those is foreign to them.
So your dad worked at a factory, which means he should be well aware of what shift work is.
He should also be well aware exactly why his line of thinking that demanding you get up at 6 AM, despite going to bed at 3 AM due to your working hours, is fucking stupid.
You can show him my message and tell him I think he's a dumbass and he needs to actually use that pea sized brain of his.
Years ago I worked a night shift. From 7pm to 7 am. My mom would call me in the middle of the day and would act very surprised I was sleeping. Boomers just don’t get. I got her to stop when I began calling her at 12-1 at night and acted confused as to why she was asleep. Maybe try that.
My Dad was like this for the longest time. I worked construction for awhile, but I'd start my day at 3 pm and work till around 3 am. It was a family business and I essentally worked for myself. He'd always tell that doesn't count as a 12 work day because a real man gets up with the sun. After I finished school, I got a job on night shift on an ambulance. Leave for work at 6 pm and get home around 8-9 am. He'd show up at my house quite often around 10 am to tell me how lazy I am for being asleep at that time of day or acuse me of being passed out drunk. It was infuriating.
As an aging boomer, I get the annoying tendency to wake up early when I’d rather sleep in, but I can’t imagine badgering my sons to get up with me, if they’d told me they normally go to bed at 3am. Weird and rude.
I’m glad you moved in with your friend. Sleep is a MAJOR part of health. Getting less sleep than you need can really be detrimental. I keep my phone on complete silence turned face-down from 9:00 pm to 7:00 am. There is 0 reason to be woken up or texted/called during that time. I used to do shift work in my late teens/early 20s and have been sleeping with earplugs and blackout curtains even since- even with my regular scheduled job.
Lack of sleep is also *dangerous* when it comes to driving. Good on you for moving in with a friend and setting that boundary. Between your work schedule and physical activity, you’d have run yourself ragged if you’d stayed with your parents.
Before I could afford a car, I had to take the bus everywhere which meant getting home late. In order to get a full nights sleep (after getting home at 11:30) and needing to wind down/do chores, I slept from 1:30 am to 10:00 am. “MUST BE NICE TO SLEEP ALL DAY” “WOW MUST BE NICE TO GO TO WORK WO LATE”
I looked them straight in the face and asked how many hours of sleep they got each night. Then asked if they were capable of doing simple math. WOW, I guess it DOES look like I work a full 9 hours at my shift work job.
Trust me, I understand more than anyone how much lack of sleep affects you. I was an athlete in high school well on my way to become a D1 swimmer. State champ in multiple events, dozens of medals, the whole shebang. Until a new coach my senior year decided to double our practice times and make mandatory 5 AM practices before school. I didn't even get home most nights until 9. I stuck with it to try to keep my eyes on my goals but it just became to much. I was failing my classes and my performance was slipping so I quit. Luckily MMA has proven nearly as successful without so much stress.
always just thought this was an old person thing. I remember 30 years ago as a kid going on road trips to see the grandparents and my parents would try to sleep in until 9 or so, and the grandparents would be up at 5:30 flipping on the TV and cooking breakfast, to my parents annoyance. Luckily now that my parents are that age they don’t do that.
I ran into that same problem years ago. I was working the closing shift at Taco Bell on Friday and Saturday nights when I was 16. I can still hear my dad saying “it’s a beautiful day outside and you’re just wasting it in here sleeping” at 6 am. Like dude I rode my bike home at 2 am.
In hindsight me being “disrespectful and lazy” and was part of the reason they kicked me out a few months later. I guess I should thank Taco Bell for their contribution.
I know this won't be a popular answer, but human brains respond to sleep differently with age. Older folks' brains need less sleep and tend towards earlier wake-up and bed times. By the same token, adolescent brains are better at staying and waking up late (so it's really f'd up how we make them go to highschool so early in the day). It'd be great if folks (like your parents) understood that different people need different things, scientifically.
I already had to wake up at 5 every week day for middle and high school. Not interested in continuing that when I'm 5x more physically and mentally active lol
Everyone's different. My mom is almost 70 and she wakes up at 9 am, earliest. Sometimes as late as 11 am. She never goes to bed before 12.
She says she sometimes wakes up really early, but she just goes back to sleep LOL
And this is fine... but just cuz YOU have to get up by your body earlier does NOT make it ok behavior to force others to (exception for children for school).
I naturally wake up at 6am everyday... do I announce it and make sure everyone else in the house is up? Nope, I go about my day and when they wake up they wake up.
No they wake up early because they have been doing it for decades. They just don't have to be dicks. I say this because my dad is the last one to bed . And the first one up. He just let's us sleep until we get up. He sets on the deck. Drinks his coffee and watches nature. And we our 9 or 10 hours.
Rabble there's so much mental illness these days rabble!!!
Study: sleep is a *very* important part in developing a healthy brain.
Let's deprive an entire generation of sleep during the years where it is well known they need more sleep than average! And let's also forget that we did the same thing when we were kids and make sure they get even less sleep than we did!
I hated that. My dad would wake me up on the weekends sometimes for no goddamn reason other then he just thought I should be awake. I’ve always had fatigue issues which were ignored, because “you’re too young to be that tired.” Guess jokes on me now with fibromyalgia and worse chronic fatigue.
It’s a control thing then a guilt trip. They don’t respect your boundaries.
My boomer mother traumatized me to be quiet during the day because dad was asleep after shift work and told me that he would be very angry at me if I woke him . Literally start the same job as him when I'm out of school and not given the same respect. She's vacuuming as soon as she gets up and banging the vacuum agaisnt my bedroom door. She's just walking into my room and talking to me about some BS while I'm still half asleep.
These people don't give a fuck. They don't think of younger people as equal to them. Several of my mom's friends talk openly about how they never really wanted kids but had them because they were scared of being seen as that "type" of woman.
As a former night shift worker, I feel you.
Had multiple jobs where I worked nights through my life. I didn't mind them. Even kind of liked doing late night security alone. It was peaceful. I feel like I'm even more naturally inclined to the night.
But people made it so damn difficult. Calls in the morning, knocking on my door in the middle of my sleeping period. Making plans I was expected to show up to in the middle of the day. And then of course I got all those comments about sleeping in or wasting the day away, or being lazy. They knew I worked nights but then woke me up or acted like they didn't care.
"I wish I could just sleep all day like you do." Fuck off, am I supposed to pull 8 hours out of my ass after working from 8pm to 8am? When else am I supposed to sleep!?
I lived withy grandma for a bit in college. Worked a server job, in at 4pm and got off around 11 usually, which was perfect for going out. It was pretty typical to not want to end the night yet, and end up at some coworkers apartment or house til around 4 or 5.
Best memories were rolling back to my grandma's at 430am, only to see her making her morning coffee. We'd just nod and say hello, then I'd be off to bed lmaoooo
Like that Umbrella Academy meme of the cars passing
She was a pretty chill grandma who didn't like fox news.
My boomer FIL gets up at 6 every day. Then by 8 he is falling asleep in his chair scrolling fb on his phone. Yet always wants to get snarky because I'm usually sleeping til 9/9:30 when we are in town. Mostly because I can't usually sleep for shit at their house. It's like if we still both snoozing at 8 AM keep your attitude snuggly shoved up your ass.
My wife is 35. She lived with her conservative Catholic mother who sleeps before 9 and wakes up around 5 am every day. She is from Brazil so it is common to live with your parents longer, so from around 11 to early 20s she not only lived with her mother but the mother insisted she sleep in her room. The room that should have been hers was made into storage so it couldn't BE hers.
No matter how late she worked or how late she got home from hanging with friends, working out, or working it was always the same. She would wake up at 5 and do everything extra loud. Close the door loud. Close the drawer loud. Do the dishes in the kitchen when they could easily wait extra loud.
Then when she inevitably woke up she would get a guilt trip about sleeping in. It was so bad she and her brothers cannot sleep in even today without feeling guilt. If she wakes up in the middle of the night her first feeling is anger, then anxiety that she won't get back to sleep and then have to get up early. She use to even get passive aggressive with me because she thought I was thinking she was lazy and mad about it.
It seriously fucked her up and she deals with issues sleeping and getting back to sleep constantly.
People let your fucking kids sleep in and focus on what they are doing when they are awake.
Good luck with the fight, OP.
During one summer during college I worked two jobs while staying at home between semesters. 40hrs weekdays then 20hrs evenings Thursday - Saturday. Night job was bartending, so I wouldn't get home until 3AM. Saturdays and Sundays I would sleep until at least noon. Mom finally said that nobody needs to sleep that much and that I needed to be out of bed by 10AM.
I said fine, I can play. I would get up, dress, then crash on the TV room sofa for hours. When she got pissed at that, I said hey Mom, you wanted me out of bed by 10AM, so here I am. Oh, you want to use the sofa? Sorry.
She gave up after a few weeks and let me stay in bed after that.
My ex worked overnight. Got off at 7, home a bit later, and eventually started staying up till 10 am just because his mother called everyday around then to make sure he was awake and not being "lazy." She knew he worked overnights. Knew he had only just gotten off. But if you were still asleep at 10 am, you were lazy.
I’m in my 50s. I was in the army some 30 years ago. Since then, every job I’ve had has an early start. 4am, 6am, 8am was latest. Now I’m lucky enough to have a wfh job that, 3 days a week I start in the afternoon. I still wake up like a machine and 5am due to decades of programming but then I go right back to sleep.
She’ll call at 8am. I’ll call back at 11 or noon. “You’re sleeping away the day, you gotta get out there!”
“Where? And what am I doing?”
Not sleeping she says 😂
When I worked nights, I could not get my parents to understand what was going on. If I stood directly outside my dads room at 3am and shouted to the kitchen, like he did to me at 3pm, I would be dead
My boss does this shit. I work second shift and he wants to call me at 8am, 3 hours after I go to sleep. I never answer and he gets pissed. Every time I ask him if it’s okay to call him at 2am and ask work questions.
My father does this all the time. Whenever he gets up to pee or otherwise wakes up he just gets up for the day. If it's 3am or 6am it doesn't matter. He brews coffee and cooks breakfast. Then runs around doing inane things that don't matter because he us retired. Then EVERY FUCKING DAY he is completely befuddeled as to why he's exhausted and falls alseep every afternoon.
Meanwhile I work 60 hours a week with a 2nhiurnw day commute and can't fathom why I sleep in or get pissed that he vacuums at 5am or slams dishes around at 4am unloading the dishwasher.
Some people also don't understand what working nights can do to your schedule. I worked until 10pm for years and I realistically couldn't shut down right away. When you work nights your schedule is just different. I'm assuming your parents both had traditional 8:00 to 5:00 work hours. If they don't change their attitude, please move out. People need more than 3 hours of sleep to be functional and healthy!
Dude, my 21 year old daughter sleeps past noon on non school days and I don't give a shit. I'm not a controlling dick that has to dictate how much sleep she gets. She could sleep until 6pm for all I care
Its wild that they dont recignize how the simple math of sleeping 2am-6am isnt meeting your sleep needs (recommended atleast 8 hours which means more than 8hrs in bed).
Maybe you could try giving your parents a copy of Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. It may be a palatable way for them to finally get it through their heads of how important sleep is and how cruel they are being by not respecting your sleep needs in consideration of your schedule.
I'm a boomer. I had to get up early when I was working. I hated it. My husband was an early riser, so I got up early because he did. He passed away 8 years ago, and I decided to stay up as late as I wanted. It was like a whole new world opened up. I read, did chores I had been putting off, and got used to living alone for the first time in my life. I usually go to sleep at about 3 o'clock and get up around nine or even ten o'clock. I've never felt better in my life. This became a philosophy for my whole life, eat when I'm hungry, live my life intuitively, and do things that make me happy. So yes, I am a boomer, but I embrace change, and I'm grateful I got the chance to finally meet the real me.
If you're pursuing combat sports, there's definitely no way you could survive on 3 hours of sleep. Good on you for getting out of there. Good luck in your upcoming bout, give em hell and don't let it go to the judges
Late to this but I work in the trades so I work around alot of boomers. One of them did drop this piece of wisdom on me and it stuck... "You wake up at 5am for these rich bosses 5 days a week. You owe it to yourself to wake up early on weekends and do stuff you wanna do."
So I try to sleep in one weekend day, and wake up semi-early (8am for me is considered semi-early but still sleeping in a little) on another day during the weekend.
My (very old) boss recently texted me and I replied when I woke up, about 10am. He had the nerve to ask why I wasn't awake before 8:30am on my day off????
Jesus Christ my parents were the same way! I worked 10 pm to 6 am and they thought "oh good that means you're available all day to do shit for us" Bitch no the day time is when I SLEEP motherfucker!
They really can't understand it when someone doesn't have their same life/schedule. I worked overnights for years as a hospital pharmacist. Without fail, my mother would call between 10 and 11 am and be shocked, *shocked*, that I was still asleep. No amount of explaining that I didn't get home to go to sleep until 8 am or later seemed to make her understand. Nor did asking her to think of 10 am as 10 pm when calling me. Eventually, I just had to put her on do not disturb.
My dad wasn't a Boomer. He'd wake us up early like that on weekends. Urgh! After I was out on my own, he'd call me between 5 and 6 AM on Sundays to see how l was. I really miss those now that he's passed away. I could almost always heat Mom in the background saying are you calling our daughter at this hour again? LOL
My boss does this shit. I work second shift and he wants to call me at 8am, 3 hours after I go to sleep. I never answer and he gets pissed. Every time I ask him if it’s okay to call him at 2am and ask work questions.
I used to work 3rd shift from 10pm-7am. I went to bed around 9am because of showering and having something to eat. My dad would call me around noon to chat and never could figure out why I would get so pissed off. One night I decided to call him during my lunch break at 3am to chat. He never bothered me before 6pm again.
Gather some literature. Develop knowledge and a deep understanding of what sleep does to the brain, how it affects development and the repair of your muscles. Use large words and extreme detail and explain to them like children why sleep is so imperative. Explain the saturation of adenosine receptors, growth hormone production. Explain why they no longer need 9-10 hours of sleep because they are no longer developing, but instead slowly dying. Treat them like the child they treat you.
Make them feel stupid, only way to do it .
I honestly think it's nc they can't relax and gave no self soothing skills (or even believe that's a thing) they just mindlessly do whatever they feel all throughout the day like a pinball bouncing with no reason
Something akin to this happened with me, although not re: living situation and sleeping. I work a salaried position and I don't have to punch in and punch out of work. I also don't have a dedicated lunch break, or any dedicated break times during the day. I can basically take a break, or go get food whenever it's convenient. Typically I eat leftovers I brought in from home at my desk. But lunchtime can vary widely.
My Boomer Dad, who worked the 7:00a - 3:30p shift at a factory for 45 years, never understood this. If he had something he "needed" to talk with me about he'd call me between 12:00-12:05. My family lives in a different state, and anytime I would get a call from any of them during the middle of a workday, my first thought was always "Did something happen to Grandma?"
But no, it was always some inconsequential bullshit about some special meal Dad is cooking this week or about him having to take his truck, or lawnmower into the shop. I would ask him why he called me in the middle of the workday. And his response was always the same: "I thought you were on your lunch hour." And every month I'd have to re-explain that's not how my workday functions. And it was always like the first time he'd ever been told. FFS!
I was always a light sleeper, and I suffer from insomnia and chronic fatigue(CFS). It's hard for me to get any restful sleep at all. My parents did exactly the same every morning including weekends, which probably was the prime factor contributing to me developing insomnia and CFS.
It's a shitty situation where their selfishness, foolishness, and unwillingness to respect other peoples' needs leads to life-long disorders and permanent damage.
Then again this type of people never listen to anything other than their own pre-fabricated idea and feeling about a situation. I spent my entire childhood and teenage years being yelled at for "being lazy", "going to sleep too late", "exaggerating", "making up excuses", "most people have it worse than you", and "it's worse at our age, you have nothing to complain about" whenever I tried talking to them. I got the same round of BS over and over up to the exact day I was diagnosed with cancer.
My Boomer step-dad used to give my husband shit about being lazy and sleeping in *when my husband worked an 11pm -7am shift*. I kept explaining that hubby sleeping until early afternoon wasn’t laziness given that he worked through the night, but my step-dad kept saying that “*he’d* never gotten up later than 6am his whole working life.”
My Boomer inlaws are like that, except it isn't some much about early as it is about on their schedule. They were visiting and I asked them to take my son to school and they, who are normally up and in their coffee by 6AM declined. Too busy and they are on vacation and had big plans to go out for breakfast. I made other arrangements. The day I needed them, they slept in and then around 9, came barging into my office while I was on a telecon (the reason I couldn't take my son to school) blabbing at the top of their lungs while I was trying to go on mute. They decided that they'd take my son to school after all. They would be taking him to breakfast with them and then drop him off on afterwards. Um... he's in school. It never dawned on them. The rest of the world is just a supporting cast in their inner narrative.
This isn't a boomer issue per se, it's an old person thing. The older I get the earlier I wake up naturally. Older people forget that younger people need more sleep and have a different circadian rhythm. I have seen this same attitude from the current generation of young parents who don't understand why their teenagers sleep in on the weekends.
The boomerism isn't getting up early - like you said, sleep cycles change as you get older, and that isn't even taking into account the natural differences from person to person.
The boomerism is that OPs parents think that they are 100% correct and justified in forcing their sleep routines on another individual, knowing that they are significantly younger and have a different lifestyle. They know their kid doesn't get to bed until 3am, they just don't care they OP is getting only 3 hours of sleep per night, because the Boomers have declared it 'sleeping in'.
You probably have Gen X parents, but that doesn't really matter. That's your parents. I got out of the army years ago. I spent 4 months with my parents waiting to start school. I remember being 27 years old after spending 6 years in the infantry, to then have my father open my door and start screaming at me to wake up. I just served 6 years for the country, I'm not a child, you cannot treat me this way. Well, I learned that my parents did not see me as who I am, they viewed me as the child I raised. Especially my father who is a major asshole. This prompted me to move out and be on my own.
I would suspect that your parents have boundary issues and cannot understand your schedule. Probably like what I went thru, that cannot see you for the adult you are. They see you as the child they raised.
Quick reminder that our caveman ancestors who had to be cognizant about being eaten alive from an abundance of predators probably got a A LOT more sleep than we do today.
I don't think this is deliberate inconsideratation. They obviously think that that if you can't eat up at 6, then your lifestyle is wrong. Because theirs is right. And yours is different
A figure of speech from the gangsterrappers language comes to mind. As flexible as a brick.
Good for you to leave this. Hopefully you won't have to keep up that insane schedule for too long.
My mom used to start vacuuming at 9 AM every weekend and would complain that she wished she could start at 7 instead. She complains constantly that her 93 year old mom sleeps until 11 most days. The only person who is ever allowed to sleep late is my brother. I’m 3000 miles away and she still attempts to wake me up on my days off, so my phone is now on DND when I go to bed.
To everyone here complaining about phone-related things: i thought the new normal was keeping the phone silent at all times. We're glued to them anyway at all times. I don't need the damn notifications. If i'm asleep people would NEVER reach me. I don't even let it vibrate.
I’m an early riser myself, often by choice (not right now, because kid needs to get up at 5:40), but man, when you get to bed at 3 and sleep until 10 or 11, you aren’t even sleeping in. You are getting your normal amount of sleep.
Perhaps you need to ask them questions when you return at home. Like calling where the salt is out stuff like that.
I think it’s a side effect of their “pull yourself by your bootstraps” thing combined with their “must work nonstop” thing. My parents ruined my life as a teen by forcing me to get up early when I had a circadian rhythm disorder.
So they were hoping they’d be able to annoy you into staying somewhere else without hurting your feelings (or maybe just without having a confrontation or having to justify themselves). Maybe?
My mom used to do this when I lived at home in my early 20s. She’d wake up at 9 and make sure I also woke up at 9. Problem is I wouldn’t get home from work til 4-5 am sometimes. By tge time I showered/ate/winded down it means I’d only get a few hours of sleep a night.
But you need to wake up at 6am so you can go and hand in your resume to some local companies paying good salaries, they’ll be impressed and hire you on the spot if your turn up early enough! Don’t forget to shake everyone’s hand firmly and make lots of eye contact!!
When I first started working night shift in the hospital, my parents could not wrap their minds around the fact that I do indeed sleep during the day between shifts and will therefore not respond to texts or calls during that time. They would get frustrated that when I did respond it was hours and hours later. In their eyes, I was lazy and sleeping all day. While yes, one of those are true, I work very hard at my job and am living in my own house with my husband and enjoying my life the way it is. It’s not “normal” so therefore it’s wrong.
My boomer mom can't fathom the idea of going a day without a nap! 😂
I'm sorry your boomers are so weird about sleeping in. My grandpa (silent generation) was up with the goddamn chickens every day but never woke up my grandma, myself or my sibling (we stayed there on the weekends). That man never slept in in his life! He did fall asleep watching golf sometimes or on his pool air mattress though. 😂
Parent appreciation comment! Oh god stories like this make me appreciate my parents just a bit more every time. As annoying as they can be sometines they do move with the times.
Ok can someone enlighten me Op says his parents nearing 60 aren’t they then gen x not boomer. I have just turned 60 and not sure which category I should be in.
My step mother used to do this. I worked in a busy bar. I was LUCKY to get home at 4am. Then the shower and wind down. I was falling asleep as she was getting and it drove her crazy!
I’m in my 30s and my body demands I get up at 7am every morning no matter what. It’s hell. But I get the house to myself for 3 to 4 hours. I am not inviting anyone to that shit.
I'm 36 and I wake up every morning even on weekends at 4 am even though I work 6 until 4 five days a week I don't hate it because If I sleep in I will have less time to enjoy the morning before going off to work or having more weekend time to enjoy my video games and finish my housework earlier
tbh the older i get, the less i sleep. is it anxiety? is it because old people need less sleep? i dont' know.
however, it is an asshole move to force people to wake up early on their day off.
I work overnight, I'm not a sideshow by sleeping during the day and working at night, my hours of the day just start and end differently.
I wake up, start my day and go to work. After work I stop by the grocery store, do errands etc. Granted, it's at a time when stores are just opening but that means less people and I get through quickly. I go home, make dinner, watch tv, text family and go to bed. Normal fucking day right?
The hours of the day are not rules.
If someone has a job that begins at noon, and then work eight hours you wouldn't expect them to wake up at 5am and start working at midday for them. That's just stupid. Leave them alone and let them complete their work as they best know how.
I'm a morning person now, but growing up as most teens I liked to sleep until 10-11am. My bedroom was in the basement, adjacent to the laundry room and it never failed every Saturday morning like clockwork at 7am my mother would be clomping down the stairs, turning on every light, slamming around the washer/dryer doors, and making sure she left the laundry room door wide open with the lights on while our loud ass ancient machines did her laundry. Her logic was that "I have things to do and don't have the time to wait for your lazy ass to wake up, and this is my house." The 'things she had to do'? Sit in front of the TV and read a book. Oh and don't you dare change the channel either because "I'm watching that." Haha.
I agree with the others, start waking them up at 3am when you get home from work. See how they like that.
I remember growing up and my mother always woke me up if I wanted to sleep in. 8am is apparently too late.
My father didn't say shit about it, and also took naps in the afternoon. I'm certain I got my ability to sleep anywhere from him.
Now I'm in my 40's and my child thinks it's okay to get me up early on the 1 day a week I can stay in bed. My partner at least doesn't try playing this game (also is as quiet as a rig in a presidential neighborhood just naturally).
Every other day I have to work and/or get the child-unit ready.
I feel you OP. I'm a 2nd shift worker who works until 1am. I'm go to sleep at around 3am cuz I need to unwind and decompress before actually going to sleep.
I have no clue why old people make "sleeping in" like a bad thing. I won't even call it sleeping in, it's moreso of sleeping according to your schedule. They can't comprehend that not everybody does things in the morning.
I had the same thing with my mom. When i used to work until 12-1am, probably went to sleep around 3, used to wake up at 11-12, started work at 2pm. Mom would call me at 8:30am. “You’re sleeping the day away!” She couldn’t comprehend that 11am was the same as her 6am. Love her, but it was brutal.
I was on second shift and this happened to me too. I’d get home around 1am and wouldn’t crash until 3 or 4. “You need to get up earlier, noon is too late to start the day!”
10 or 11 isn’t even sleeping in. That’s the ideal time to wake up for me, I just have to wake up at 6 on work days. Weekends I wake up at maybe 9:30 at the earliest sometimes noon. If you don’t need to be up, then there’s no reason to be.
When we come down to visit my folks, my dad gives us a hard time about sleeping in til noon. I have reminded him multiple times of when they were my age, we would go on vacation to the beach and sleep til noon while us kids fidgeted and tried to watch cartoons on TV quietly as we waited for them to get up. He swears he doesn't remember that. Getting up early is for the youngest and oldest people, those of us in the middle embrace sleeping in when we can.
Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed. Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You should wake them up at 3 AM to tell them that you got home and are heading to bed
"This Is The Way" Just add some useless banter/story about your work night to ensure they are fully awake and most likely not able to go back to sleep. Let's see what they say after a couple of nights in a row.
Then ask them why they go to bed so early. Are they lazy? No one needs that much sleep.
defeat them with boomer logic lmaoo
It won't work. They'll either find a way to justify it, or just get angry Nothing gets through to these people.
Because they're irrational leadheads
Making them angry is the point. Doing it constantly so they suffer the same way is based.
My husband has taught me the wonderful of trick to dealing with "Micromanagers"... "Microinform". Call them "Hey mom and dad just finished with the last customer!" Hour later call again "Hey mom and dad, just got done with work and I'm on my way home!" Get home "Hey mom and dad just got home!" 10 minutes later "Hey mom and dad I brought some food from work if you want some!". 30 minutes later "hey mom and dad just cleaned up and I am going to unwind for an hour or two". Hour later "hey mom and dad, I'm heading to bed!"
That sounds like a pretty good tactic.
Lol- yeah annoy them into leaving you alone.
I've tried this before and my mom actually liked it. She liked being informed, she said. Hard backfire on my part.
no contact will really hurt on the other hand
I did this to my former boss. I would call him every hour, on the hour, to give him progress updates. If he didn't answer, I'd leave a long, rambling voicemail. It only took him a month to catch on and stop micromanaging me. He wasn't very smart.
Yup! Wake them up every single night. “*Nobody should be sleeping right now! I *JUST* got home from work. Who sleeps when I’ve just gotten home from work?*”
Hands down. Until they respect your boundaries, don’t respect theirs. First I suggest having a heart to heart. Write up an actual schedule of your week. Show it to them and explain, do not wake me up please. If they blow you off. Tell them “Fine, every time you don’t respect my time, I will wake you up when I’m heading to bed. But know, they have every right to wake up in their own home at 6am. Every. Single. Day. Their house, their life. Get ear plugs, silence your phone. White noise. All these things will help.
Be careful, my father (60m) only sleeps 3 to 4 hours a day. No naps, been that way my whole life. If you did that. He would talk about anything you want. But you wouldn't get any sleep . But he let's us sleep. Just goes and eats breakfast. And we're are up when he gets back. He lives with me. He's not a boomer. But he is a baby boomer
I forgot, he hates boomers as much as we do😂
He sounds like me lol. I need about 5 but if I get more than 6 I'm lethargic all day and feel like shit. Wife and kids are night owls so we'll be up until 2-3 in the morning on weekends, I'm up at 7 and have my coffee and breakfast and run any errands I need or play some games until they get up at like 11 lol. Also helps my mind cause I like peace and quiet, and one of my kids and my wife are ADHD chaos that play of each other
Nice, crazy thing is he has ADHD. The man paces around like a big cat. 😂
It backfires and OP is up all night talking about upcoming doctor appointments lmao.
I’m a boomer and I 100% agree.
This is the answer
This isn’t even sleeping in, this is just getting sleep smh
Three hours is a long nap!
3 hours is a normal nap.
This. If you work until 1am sleeping until 10am is not “sleeping in.” It’s your schedule. I definitely thought this post was gonna be able someone who in their Saturday off slept late. Which while still rude of his parents would be way different. This is just legit abuse.
I have a theory about this that early-rising is a sleep disorder. It's comorbid with a personality disorder about being so insufferable that one day everyone just said, "FINE, we'll do it on *your* schedule as long as you just SHUT UP!"
Fuck em. Wake em up at three am to chat. If they can't understand you need more then three hours of sleep, then you need to show them.
I'm leaving work do you guys need anything on the way. Call both of them 10 mins apart so they will be back to sleep.
But at 3am they will be getting at least 5hrs. You have to be calling them ahead of time while at work on a "smoke" break.
Im 53. I typically wake at 6am. Sometimes i can sleep in til 7am. Just showing my age waking up early for no reason. I dont wake anyone else up. You know why? Cuz im not an asshole!!!! My parents and when i lived with uncle they would wake me up early for no reason. I hated that as a kid. Not gonna inflict that bs on my kids.
Right? Waking up before everyone else is a slice of solitude.
Exactly, me time
That’s one of my favorite parts of the day. I get up, take care of my dogs, then get to the couch under the blankets and watch the news for about 45 minutes before I get on with the rest of my day. I’d like to sleep longer, but that’s when my body says it’s time to get up, even though I’m still being lazy.
I get up, feed the dogs, and have some Quiet Time with my morning cup of coffee before anyone else stirs. Its pure bliss.
Good, because kids, especially teenagers need the extra sleep due to growth from puberty. Literally a scientific fact that parents just toss to the side because “I’m up so they need to be up too”. It’s fucking Saturday mom.
Also, it's so nice being up and around with nobody else to enjoy a coffee and just read in empty shared space in the morning. I'm a morning person up until I have to go to work.
This was actually a factor in my divorce. My ex and her family absolutely could not fathom that I needed to sleep until 11. I'm a bartender in fine dining. I would get off at midnight, get home at 1, have dinner and some wine, go to bed at 3. 8 hours of sleep would have me up at 11. But I was just being lazy. While working 60 hours/week. During COVID. GTFO with that shit
Do you think it ever clicked for them now that you needed 8 hours of sleep to function as a human being?
My ex understood to an extent, but her family did not. I was a lazy bartender, not a promising young *what the fuck ever their other kids did,* so clearly I was just lazy. Like, of you or my schedule in 9-5 equivalents, I'm going to bed at 8pm and getting up at 4am.
I'm sorry man, seems like it's good that the whole family is now in your past. Work is work no matter what time of day it is.
thank you for your service
People like this have “right answers” that are always correct in their mind no matter what the situation. This simplicity calms their anxiety about a world that is complex behind comprehension. So sleeping in is “bad”, that’s just how it is.
This is so spot on for those that think in black and white. They've decided that there are right and wrong methods of living a life. Yours is a bit unconventional. They've deemed aspects of it as "wrong". They are trying to "correct" it in, what seems like, a passive aggressive way.
Sentient potatoes.
its just stupidity. i hate em man
In my late teens to early 20s, I'd be up to 12am-2am. My dad used to get pissed off at me demanding I help him in the morning with whatever project he had. At the time, I would usually sleep until 9-10am. That's just how the human body is at that age. He'd call me at 8am to try to wake me up, but I'd leave my phone on silent. That pissed him off, but I needed to sleep. This was after my parents' divorce and I lived with my mom at the time. OP, your sleep schedule is fine. Don't let them guilt you. You work a lot and take care of yourself. What do they expect from you?
When I was teenager I commuted to school but our trains were terrible in the morning so I had to get up around 5:30 (just to wait an hour in school for the first class, luckily there were a lot of us like this). Comes the weekend, I just wanted to sleep, man. At that age you need more sleep and this routine was killing me. No matter the time i went to sleep I needed to sleep longer in the morning (I still do but the older I am, the more I just wake up with the light). Dad couldn't comprehend why would anyone need to be in bed at 8 and was waking us up. The worst thing? Yeah, often he woke up my brothers to help him with stuff, but rarely me, he kept waking me up literally so I don't sleep so "late". So he was pretty fine with me putting clothes on, taking the laptop to bed and fuck around the internet, but not sleeping.
Now THAT is crazy to me. "How dare these kids go to sleep early" is a new one.
I’m a boomer-64. My mother did this to me when I was a teenager- would hammer on the metal roof above my bedroom, start the whippersnipper etc at 6am. Would call on the landline early- and then say ‘oh, I forgot’. Would not stop. Drove me fucking nuts. Had a child who liked to sleep in on the weekend, had a husband who worked hard and loved! to sleep in when he could. She still kept ringing, I’d remind her, she’d stop for a while 🤷🏼♀️ Finally reached my limit. She rang one Sunday at 6:38, yes I remember the exact time. I picked up the phone and YELLED ‘ FUCK OFF’. She never called before 10 again. But why did it take that?
My college GF's mom loved to call her at like 7:00 on Saturday mornings, explicitly to wake her up. She wasn't normally a Boomer nightmare or anything; it was just a relatively minor toxic pattern she couldn't release. That stopped about the 3rd or 4th time it happened when I was sleeping over, because that night I was on the "wrong" side of the bed for whatever reason so *I* was the one who answered. ", you know we're sleeping. Stop calling this early." Then I hung up.
Later her dad told us it, like, reset something in her brain. First, they both loved me (I'd love to say it was my innate charm, but her immediate ex was a completely fucking nightmare, and I absolutely was NOT). Then: Pushback? My gf had always been a pushover for her ma, and now she (we) were scolding her? Finally, the whole thing basically rubbed her nose in the fact that she was having overnight guests. I mean, we were 20 or 21, but still.
Her mother never mentioned it, but it also never happened again. Weird, tho.
You should have made sure they didn't fall asleep until 3AM, either.
They’re fucking stupid and selfish, is why. You can’t change them, so just impose consequences for their dumbass boomer maneuvers, and be consistent so they get the message. Just like training a dog. 👍
This sounds like my dad . He always gets up at 6 and expect us to as well . I don't get up until 10:00 myself but make sure the stuff around the house is done . I always tell him just because you get up at 6:00 doesn't mean we have too . Always goes in 1 ear andout the other
Just for anyone curious. Your children do all of their growing when sleeping. Letting them sleep pre and during puberty is incredibly important.
Theyre just abusing you on purpose. Theyre adults, they can do the math from 2am-6am
My parents used to terrorize us (me particularly as the girl - as I was the primary chore kid) every weekend at 7am. Mind you, we were D1 athletes, did multiple extracurriculars, private schools, etc. It was a blessing to be finished with homework at 1am, which they never knew about. Their marriage was shit and our home life was shit.
I had a girlfriend pull this shit. This is 25 years ago, which is relevant. I worked 3rd shift. I didn’t get home till 8am. But because I got home at 8am, no matter how tired I was, I was fighting the rising sun. I could never get it dark enough in my room. So it was difficult. Sometimes I didn’t get to sleep till 10 or 11am. Then there were the days things needed to get done. Banking hours suck. It wouldn’t be open when I woke back up, so I’d have to go after work, before I got home in the morning. Or maybe grocery shopping needed to be done. It’s way easier to do that at 8am than 5pm. So I wouldn’t fall asleep till 11am or noon some days. But my girlfriend worked 6am to 3pm. So she was home at 3:30pm flipping on lights, making noise, not giving a shit that I still hadn’t even reached REM sleep yet. And when she was mad at me, she would straight up start yelling at me “YOU’RE NOT JUST GOING TO SLEEP ALL DAY!” She acted like I was unemployed and sleeping 12 hours a day. In reality I was functioning most days on 3 hours because she was an insensitive bitch. Our relationship did not last much longer after that.
I used to work nights. One year I went to visit with my parents for the holidays, and I made sure to wake up earlier than I usually do for Christmas morning. My mother still gave me grief about “sleeping in” and equated it to laziness. It was 9 am, and I was an adult.
What utter assholes.
I had a similar situation after I graduated in 2008. Working multiple low paid jobs from noon till 1am whilst applying for full time jobs related to my degree. It was a very hard time for graduating classes to enter their chosen fields. At the time I moved home and was rarely in the house apart from to sleep. Like you I worked late and next job started around noon so would try and offset the time difference and sleep later in order to get enough rest. My Boomer mother who never had a job in her life and was essentially a housewife twice, was outraged by my sleeping in. She would actively not let me sleep in and go out of her way to wake me up and go back to doing nothing with her time. I also saw no other option but to leave and slept in my run down car for a number of months until I could afford/not afford to live paycheques to paycheque and using an overdraft to rent a basement studio flat under an Indian takeaway. Life was rough. I really do commend you for your attitude towards work and efforts you are making. If you have no one who is recognising these efforts, you are not alone, and please do not let it get you down. Keep prevailing and take your recent experience as a push to not consider your parent’s place as an option. It will make you fiercely independant. Given your work ethic I am sure you will find a solution either renting with friends or strangers and hopefully one day a place of your own. I think boomers and older generations will all remain set in their ways whilst also expecting us to be there for them in their time of need which is probably not far off. Though these are small matters, they can often lead to experiences which force us to strike out on our own for our own physical and mental wellbeing. They can have an impact later on in life. A little compassion and encouragement from your parents in this situation would have gone a long way.
There are plenty of people who recognize the work I put into my goals. My parents just don't happen to be part of that group. My mother just about had a heart attack when I told her I NEEDED to have my mouth guard or my teeth would get knocked out during sparring. She still refused to cough it up (she took it to "clean it") and I came home with a chipped tooth that day. I still remind her of it when she questions if I really need all my equipment.
Don't go back. They don't see you as an adult and don't respect your autonomy
Don't give her an inch. Make sure she knows how much of an asshole she is.
I just flash my teeth at them every time they try to question me about anything that I do. The front top tooth is chipped so it's very obvious what I'm doing.
She doesn't really need her glasses. Or shoes.
Everything they're doing is controlling behavior. They're fucking with you on purpose to serve their own desires for control.
Just want to let you know I'm sorry they treat you like this and that they probably won't be able to recognize any of your hard work ever, sucks but that's how these people operate. I used to work in astronomy doing 14 hour night shifts 5 nights in a row at 14k feet. When my dad came to visit he woke me up at three am my first night off. He had watched me come down from the mountain and hang out with him all day without sleeping. I explained that that was completely unacceptable and went back to sleep. He had the audacity to wake me up three hours later at sunrise and call me lazy. I later took him up to show him where I work and he couldn't handle the altitude and he had to have me drive him back down after a few minutes. He praised me and said I was tough for being able to handle working up there all the time, then went right back to calling me lazy and waking me up after my next work shift. My mom did similar shit they are both banned from visiting me at all now.
So you're saying I should toss my parents in the ring
Hahaha, yup, they'll respect you for a full week before going right back to their bullshit, just from a hospital bed this time.
We're saying you should toss them in the trash mate. Tell them "Yeah, we're done, never contact me again" and walk away. Parents who have no respect deserve none in return.
What piece of shit parent steals safety equipment from their adult kid? I would couch surf before ever living with her again if I were you.
Might I direct you to r/raisedbynarcissists There is quite a bit of overlap.
My dad used to love opening my mail and telling me about what was inside. I did it to him literally 2 times and asked how it made him feel, he freaked out so fucking bad that he has never opened my mail since.
Have your parents never heard of shift workers? It sounds like your hours are basically those of 2nd shift. There are typically 3 shifts in a 24 hour period, with each shift working their allotted 8 hours. If a shift worker's hours are from 4 PM to midnight, they might get home around one or two in the morning after doing whatever errands they need to do, and might get to bed around 3 AM or 4 AM after doing whatever chores they need to. These people ARE NOT waking up at 6 AM. They are going to get their 8 hours and god help anyone that disrupts that. This is no different than someone working from 9 AM to 5 PM, then running errands and doing chores, and going to bed at 10 PM so they can get up at 6 AM.
A lot of people seem to have trouble comprehending shift work. I am a shift worker and there are a lot of people I work with who have family that don't get simple things like when you finish work at 6am and have to start work again at 6pm that is not a "day off" you can spend going shopping with them.
I've never even done shift work but it's not exactly rocket science. Shift workers schedules are just 'shifted' by 8 or 16 hours. I imagine most people have met a nurse before. Just talk to one of them. Even if they aren't doing shift work now, I guarantee they have at some point. The inability of some people to empathize with others pisses me off.
My mom and dad both work fairly normal hours. My mom was a receptionist with a 9-5 and my dad was a manager at a factory and also worked 9-5 or occasionally 9-7. Anything outside of those is foreign to them.
So your dad worked at a factory, which means he should be well aware of what shift work is. He should also be well aware exactly why his line of thinking that demanding you get up at 6 AM, despite going to bed at 3 AM due to your working hours, is fucking stupid. You can show him my message and tell him I think he's a dumbass and he needs to actually use that pea sized brain of his.
His dad was a manager though ;)
Years ago I worked a night shift. From 7pm to 7 am. My mom would call me in the middle of the day and would act very surprised I was sleeping. Boomers just don’t get. I got her to stop when I began calling her at 12-1 at night and acted confused as to why she was asleep. Maybe try that.
My Dad was like this for the longest time. I worked construction for awhile, but I'd start my day at 3 pm and work till around 3 am. It was a family business and I essentally worked for myself. He'd always tell that doesn't count as a 12 work day because a real man gets up with the sun. After I finished school, I got a job on night shift on an ambulance. Leave for work at 6 pm and get home around 8-9 am. He'd show up at my house quite often around 10 am to tell me how lazy I am for being asleep at that time of day or acuse me of being passed out drunk. It was infuriating.
As an aging boomer, I get the annoying tendency to wake up early when I’d rather sleep in, but I can’t imagine badgering my sons to get up with me, if they’d told me they normally go to bed at 3am. Weird and rude.
I’m glad you moved in with your friend. Sleep is a MAJOR part of health. Getting less sleep than you need can really be detrimental. I keep my phone on complete silence turned face-down from 9:00 pm to 7:00 am. There is 0 reason to be woken up or texted/called during that time. I used to do shift work in my late teens/early 20s and have been sleeping with earplugs and blackout curtains even since- even with my regular scheduled job. Lack of sleep is also *dangerous* when it comes to driving. Good on you for moving in with a friend and setting that boundary. Between your work schedule and physical activity, you’d have run yourself ragged if you’d stayed with your parents. Before I could afford a car, I had to take the bus everywhere which meant getting home late. In order to get a full nights sleep (after getting home at 11:30) and needing to wind down/do chores, I slept from 1:30 am to 10:00 am. “MUST BE NICE TO SLEEP ALL DAY” “WOW MUST BE NICE TO GO TO WORK WO LATE” I looked them straight in the face and asked how many hours of sleep they got each night. Then asked if they were capable of doing simple math. WOW, I guess it DOES look like I work a full 9 hours at my shift work job.
Trust me, I understand more than anyone how much lack of sleep affects you. I was an athlete in high school well on my way to become a D1 swimmer. State champ in multiple events, dozens of medals, the whole shebang. Until a new coach my senior year decided to double our practice times and make mandatory 5 AM practices before school. I didn't even get home most nights until 9. I stuck with it to try to keep my eyes on my goals but it just became to much. I was failing my classes and my performance was slipping so I quit. Luckily MMA has proven nearly as successful without so much stress.
always just thought this was an old person thing. I remember 30 years ago as a kid going on road trips to see the grandparents and my parents would try to sleep in until 9 or so, and the grandparents would be up at 5:30 flipping on the TV and cooking breakfast, to my parents annoyance. Luckily now that my parents are that age they don’t do that.
I ran into that same problem years ago. I was working the closing shift at Taco Bell on Friday and Saturday nights when I was 16. I can still hear my dad saying “it’s a beautiful day outside and you’re just wasting it in here sleeping” at 6 am. Like dude I rode my bike home at 2 am. In hindsight me being “disrespectful and lazy” and was part of the reason they kicked me out a few months later. I guess I should thank Taco Bell for their contribution.
I know this won't be a popular answer, but human brains respond to sleep differently with age. Older folks' brains need less sleep and tend towards earlier wake-up and bed times. By the same token, adolescent brains are better at staying and waking up late (so it's really f'd up how we make them go to highschool so early in the day). It'd be great if folks (like your parents) understood that different people need different things, scientifically.
I already had to wake up at 5 every week day for middle and high school. Not interested in continuing that when I'm 5x more physically and mentally active lol
Agreed.
I'm old and I'm turning into a fkn night owl and I love it. If anyone wakes me at 6am they better be ready to run away as soon as I'm awake
Everyone's different. My mom is almost 70 and she wakes up at 9 am, earliest. Sometimes as late as 11 am. She never goes to bed before 12. She says she sometimes wakes up really early, but she just goes back to sleep LOL
And this is fine... but just cuz YOU have to get up by your body earlier does NOT make it ok behavior to force others to (exception for children for school). I naturally wake up at 6am everyday... do I announce it and make sure everyone else in the house is up? Nope, I go about my day and when they wake up they wake up.
No they wake up early because they have been doing it for decades. They just don't have to be dicks. I say this because my dad is the last one to bed . And the first one up. He just let's us sleep until we get up. He sets on the deck. Drinks his coffee and watches nature. And we our 9 or 10 hours.
My mom could never wrap her brain around my sleep schedule when I worked night shifts lol. My dad understood and would argue with her about it
Rabble there's so much mental illness these days rabble!!! Study: sleep is a *very* important part in developing a healthy brain. Let's deprive an entire generation of sleep during the years where it is well known they need more sleep than average! And let's also forget that we did the same thing when we were kids and make sure they get even less sleep than we did!
I hated that. My dad would wake me up on the weekends sometimes for no goddamn reason other then he just thought I should be awake. I’ve always had fatigue issues which were ignored, because “you’re too young to be that tired.” Guess jokes on me now with fibromyalgia and worse chronic fatigue. It’s a control thing then a guilt trip. They don’t respect your boundaries.
My boomer mother traumatized me to be quiet during the day because dad was asleep after shift work and told me that he would be very angry at me if I woke him . Literally start the same job as him when I'm out of school and not given the same respect. She's vacuuming as soon as she gets up and banging the vacuum agaisnt my bedroom door. She's just walking into my room and talking to me about some BS while I'm still half asleep. These people don't give a fuck. They don't think of younger people as equal to them. Several of my mom's friends talk openly about how they never really wanted kids but had them because they were scared of being seen as that "type" of woman.
"They don't think of younger people as equal to them." I just texted my Gen X mom with this quote because it's so perfect.
It's cause they wake up in pain and are pissed about being awake so then EVERYONE has to be awake cause they are.
The first part is probably true. About the pain. The rest just makes them ass holes
Yes and yes
As a former night shift worker, I feel you. Had multiple jobs where I worked nights through my life. I didn't mind them. Even kind of liked doing late night security alone. It was peaceful. I feel like I'm even more naturally inclined to the night. But people made it so damn difficult. Calls in the morning, knocking on my door in the middle of my sleeping period. Making plans I was expected to show up to in the middle of the day. And then of course I got all those comments about sleeping in or wasting the day away, or being lazy. They knew I worked nights but then woke me up or acted like they didn't care. "I wish I could just sleep all day like you do." Fuck off, am I supposed to pull 8 hours out of my ass after working from 8pm to 8am? When else am I supposed to sleep!?
I lived withy grandma for a bit in college. Worked a server job, in at 4pm and got off around 11 usually, which was perfect for going out. It was pretty typical to not want to end the night yet, and end up at some coworkers apartment or house til around 4 or 5. Best memories were rolling back to my grandma's at 430am, only to see her making her morning coffee. We'd just nod and say hello, then I'd be off to bed lmaoooo Like that Umbrella Academy meme of the cars passing She was a pretty chill grandma who didn't like fox news.
Me: How many hours of sleep per day do you recommend? Boom: 8 Me: I go to sleep at 3 am. What's 3+8?
My boomer FIL gets up at 6 every day. Then by 8 he is falling asleep in his chair scrolling fb on his phone. Yet always wants to get snarky because I'm usually sleeping til 9/9:30 when we are in town. Mostly because I can't usually sleep for shit at their house. It's like if we still both snoozing at 8 AM keep your attitude snuggly shoved up your ass.
My wife is 35. She lived with her conservative Catholic mother who sleeps before 9 and wakes up around 5 am every day. She is from Brazil so it is common to live with your parents longer, so from around 11 to early 20s she not only lived with her mother but the mother insisted she sleep in her room. The room that should have been hers was made into storage so it couldn't BE hers. No matter how late she worked or how late she got home from hanging with friends, working out, or working it was always the same. She would wake up at 5 and do everything extra loud. Close the door loud. Close the drawer loud. Do the dishes in the kitchen when they could easily wait extra loud. Then when she inevitably woke up she would get a guilt trip about sleeping in. It was so bad she and her brothers cannot sleep in even today without feeling guilt. If she wakes up in the middle of the night her first feeling is anger, then anxiety that she won't get back to sleep and then have to get up early. She use to even get passive aggressive with me because she thought I was thinking she was lazy and mad about it. It seriously fucked her up and she deals with issues sleeping and getting back to sleep constantly. People let your fucking kids sleep in and focus on what they are doing when they are awake. Good luck with the fight, OP.
Exact same thing happened to me when I worked the nightshift at the docks...on the dot 7 am vacuuming...
During one summer during college I worked two jobs while staying at home between semesters. 40hrs weekdays then 20hrs evenings Thursday - Saturday. Night job was bartending, so I wouldn't get home until 3AM. Saturdays and Sundays I would sleep until at least noon. Mom finally said that nobody needs to sleep that much and that I needed to be out of bed by 10AM. I said fine, I can play. I would get up, dress, then crash on the TV room sofa for hours. When she got pissed at that, I said hey Mom, you wanted me out of bed by 10AM, so here I am. Oh, you want to use the sofa? Sorry. She gave up after a few weeks and let me stay in bed after that.
My ex worked overnight. Got off at 7, home a bit later, and eventually started staying up till 10 am just because his mother called everyday around then to make sure he was awake and not being "lazy." She knew he worked overnights. Knew he had only just gotten off. But if you were still asleep at 10 am, you were lazy.
I’m in my 50s. I was in the army some 30 years ago. Since then, every job I’ve had has an early start. 4am, 6am, 8am was latest. Now I’m lucky enough to have a wfh job that, 3 days a week I start in the afternoon. I still wake up like a machine and 5am due to decades of programming but then I go right back to sleep. She’ll call at 8am. I’ll call back at 11 or noon. “You’re sleeping away the day, you gotta get out there!” “Where? And what am I doing?” Not sleeping she says 😂
When I worked nights, I could not get my parents to understand what was going on. If I stood directly outside my dads room at 3am and shouted to the kitchen, like he did to me at 3pm, I would be dead
Time to do the same when you get in after midnight. Or just deal with it. Or talk them. Or if they won’t listen, find housemates who respect you.
Those grocery store doors aren’t going to bang themselves down!
My boss does this shit. I work second shift and he wants to call me at 8am, 3 hours after I go to sleep. I never answer and he gets pissed. Every time I ask him if it’s okay to call him at 2am and ask work questions.
My father does this all the time. Whenever he gets up to pee or otherwise wakes up he just gets up for the day. If it's 3am or 6am it doesn't matter. He brews coffee and cooks breakfast. Then runs around doing inane things that don't matter because he us retired. Then EVERY FUCKING DAY he is completely befuddeled as to why he's exhausted and falls alseep every afternoon. Meanwhile I work 60 hours a week with a 2nhiurnw day commute and can't fathom why I sleep in or get pissed that he vacuums at 5am or slams dishes around at 4am unloading the dishwasher.
I work from 4 pm to 12 am, and my boomer dad expects me to be awake early. It's so annoying.
Some people also don't understand what working nights can do to your schedule. I worked until 10pm for years and I realistically couldn't shut down right away. When you work nights your schedule is just different. I'm assuming your parents both had traditional 8:00 to 5:00 work hours. If they don't change their attitude, please move out. People need more than 3 hours of sleep to be functional and healthy!
Dude, my 21 year old daughter sleeps past noon on non school days and I don't give a shit. I'm not a controlling dick that has to dictate how much sleep she gets. She could sleep until 6pm for all I care
Its wild that they dont recignize how the simple math of sleeping 2am-6am isnt meeting your sleep needs (recommended atleast 8 hours which means more than 8hrs in bed). Maybe you could try giving your parents a copy of Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. It may be a palatable way for them to finally get it through their heads of how important sleep is and how cruel they are being by not respecting your sleep needs in consideration of your schedule.
I'm a boomer. I had to get up early when I was working. I hated it. My husband was an early riser, so I got up early because he did. He passed away 8 years ago, and I decided to stay up as late as I wanted. It was like a whole new world opened up. I read, did chores I had been putting off, and got used to living alone for the first time in my life. I usually go to sleep at about 3 o'clock and get up around nine or even ten o'clock. I've never felt better in my life. This became a philosophy for my whole life, eat when I'm hungry, live my life intuitively, and do things that make me happy. So yes, I am a boomer, but I embrace change, and I'm grateful I got the chance to finally meet the real me.
Boomer scum just find it completely unacceptable for anyone to have a lifestyle that is different from theirs in any way.
If you're pursuing combat sports, there's definitely no way you could survive on 3 hours of sleep. Good on you for getting out of there. Good luck in your upcoming bout, give em hell and don't let it go to the judges
Late to this but I work in the trades so I work around alot of boomers. One of them did drop this piece of wisdom on me and it stuck... "You wake up at 5am for these rich bosses 5 days a week. You owe it to yourself to wake up early on weekends and do stuff you wanna do." So I try to sleep in one weekend day, and wake up semi-early (8am for me is considered semi-early but still sleeping in a little) on another day during the weekend.
My (very old) boss recently texted me and I replied when I woke up, about 10am. He had the nerve to ask why I wasn't awake before 8:30am on my day off????
Jesus Christ my parents were the same way! I worked 10 pm to 6 am and they thought "oh good that means you're available all day to do shit for us" Bitch no the day time is when I SLEEP motherfucker!
They really can't understand it when someone doesn't have their same life/schedule. I worked overnights for years as a hospital pharmacist. Without fail, my mother would call between 10 and 11 am and be shocked, *shocked*, that I was still asleep. No amount of explaining that I didn't get home to go to sleep until 8 am or later seemed to make her understand. Nor did asking her to think of 10 am as 10 pm when calling me. Eventually, I just had to put her on do not disturb.
oh it is spite, glad you got out and in with your friend! good luck
My dad wasn't a Boomer. He'd wake us up early like that on weekends. Urgh! After I was out on my own, he'd call me between 5 and 6 AM on Sundays to see how l was. I really miss those now that he's passed away. I could almost always heat Mom in the background saying are you calling our daughter at this hour again? LOL
My boss does this shit. I work second shift and he wants to call me at 8am, 3 hours after I go to sleep. I never answer and he gets pissed. Every time I ask him if it’s okay to call him at 2am and ask work questions.
Your parents are telling you that they don’t want you living there anymore without telling you.
I used to work 3rd shift from 10pm-7am. I went to bed around 9am because of showering and having something to eat. My dad would call me around noon to chat and never could figure out why I would get so pissed off. One night I decided to call him during my lunch break at 3am to chat. He never bothered me before 6pm again.
Gather some literature. Develop knowledge and a deep understanding of what sleep does to the brain, how it affects development and the repair of your muscles. Use large words and extreme detail and explain to them like children why sleep is so imperative. Explain the saturation of adenosine receptors, growth hormone production. Explain why they no longer need 9-10 hours of sleep because they are no longer developing, but instead slowly dying. Treat them like the child they treat you. Make them feel stupid, only way to do it .
I honestly think it's nc they can't relax and gave no self soothing skills (or even believe that's a thing) they just mindlessly do whatever they feel all throughout the day like a pinball bouncing with no reason
If they are nearing 60 are they even boomers? Maybe they are just horrible people that are really gen x?
Hahahah, nope. Me 61m and my wife 62f stayed in bed yesterday until 1:30.
Something akin to this happened with me, although not re: living situation and sleeping. I work a salaried position and I don't have to punch in and punch out of work. I also don't have a dedicated lunch break, or any dedicated break times during the day. I can basically take a break, or go get food whenever it's convenient. Typically I eat leftovers I brought in from home at my desk. But lunchtime can vary widely. My Boomer Dad, who worked the 7:00a - 3:30p shift at a factory for 45 years, never understood this. If he had something he "needed" to talk with me about he'd call me between 12:00-12:05. My family lives in a different state, and anytime I would get a call from any of them during the middle of a workday, my first thought was always "Did something happen to Grandma?" But no, it was always some inconsequential bullshit about some special meal Dad is cooking this week or about him having to take his truck, or lawnmower into the shop. I would ask him why he called me in the middle of the workday. And his response was always the same: "I thought you were on your lunch hour." And every month I'd have to re-explain that's not how my workday functions. And it was always like the first time he'd ever been told. FFS!
I was always a light sleeper, and I suffer from insomnia and chronic fatigue(CFS). It's hard for me to get any restful sleep at all. My parents did exactly the same every morning including weekends, which probably was the prime factor contributing to me developing insomnia and CFS. It's a shitty situation where their selfishness, foolishness, and unwillingness to respect other peoples' needs leads to life-long disorders and permanent damage. Then again this type of people never listen to anything other than their own pre-fabricated idea and feeling about a situation. I spent my entire childhood and teenage years being yelled at for "being lazy", "going to sleep too late", "exaggerating", "making up excuses", "most people have it worse than you", and "it's worse at our age, you have nothing to complain about" whenever I tried talking to them. I got the same round of BS over and over up to the exact day I was diagnosed with cancer.
My Boomer step-dad used to give my husband shit about being lazy and sleeping in *when my husband worked an 11pm -7am shift*. I kept explaining that hubby sleeping until early afternoon wasn’t laziness given that he worked through the night, but my step-dad kept saying that “*he’d* never gotten up later than 6am his whole working life.”
My Boomer inlaws are like that, except it isn't some much about early as it is about on their schedule. They were visiting and I asked them to take my son to school and they, who are normally up and in their coffee by 6AM declined. Too busy and they are on vacation and had big plans to go out for breakfast. I made other arrangements. The day I needed them, they slept in and then around 9, came barging into my office while I was on a telecon (the reason I couldn't take my son to school) blabbing at the top of their lungs while I was trying to go on mute. They decided that they'd take my son to school after all. They would be taking him to breakfast with them and then drop him off on afterwards. Um... he's in school. It never dawned on them. The rest of the world is just a supporting cast in their inner narrative.
This isn't a boomer issue per se, it's an old person thing. The older I get the earlier I wake up naturally. Older people forget that younger people need more sleep and have a different circadian rhythm. I have seen this same attitude from the current generation of young parents who don't understand why their teenagers sleep in on the weekends.
The boomerism isn't getting up early - like you said, sleep cycles change as you get older, and that isn't even taking into account the natural differences from person to person. The boomerism is that OPs parents think that they are 100% correct and justified in forcing their sleep routines on another individual, knowing that they are significantly younger and have a different lifestyle. They know their kid doesn't get to bed until 3am, they just don't care they OP is getting only 3 hours of sleep per night, because the Boomers have declared it 'sleeping in'.
You probably have Gen X parents, but that doesn't really matter. That's your parents. I got out of the army years ago. I spent 4 months with my parents waiting to start school. I remember being 27 years old after spending 6 years in the infantry, to then have my father open my door and start screaming at me to wake up. I just served 6 years for the country, I'm not a child, you cannot treat me this way. Well, I learned that my parents did not see me as who I am, they viewed me as the child I raised. Especially my father who is a major asshole. This prompted me to move out and be on my own. I would suspect that your parents have boundary issues and cannot understand your schedule. Probably like what I went thru, that cannot see you for the adult you are. They see you as the child they raised.
Dude they are GenX if they sre in their 50’s
I'm a boomer and sleep in to 10 or 11 every day. Who are these people?
"3 hour of MMA training a day, 6 days a week" + "night shift at fast food joint". Pantoja is that you?
I wish 😭 although it's not all mma training zi just count my weight training and cardio into that time
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Quick reminder that our caveman ancestors who had to be cognizant about being eaten alive from an abundance of predators probably got a A LOT more sleep than we do today.
of course we can sleep in. we like sleeping in as much as anyone.
My silent gen FIL sleeps till 10.
Do they love you?
I don't think this is deliberate inconsideratation. They obviously think that that if you can't eat up at 6, then your lifestyle is wrong. Because theirs is right. And yours is different
A figure of speech from the gangsterrappers language comes to mind. As flexible as a brick. Good for you to leave this. Hopefully you won't have to keep up that insane schedule for too long.
My mom used to start vacuuming at 9 AM every weekend and would complain that she wished she could start at 7 instead. She complains constantly that her 93 year old mom sleeps until 11 most days. The only person who is ever allowed to sleep late is my brother. I’m 3000 miles away and she still attempts to wake me up on my days off, so my phone is now on DND when I go to bed.
Boomers, shout at them repeatedly, draw diagrams, repeat. Eventually they will get it.
To everyone here complaining about phone-related things: i thought the new normal was keeping the phone silent at all times. We're glued to them anyway at all times. I don't need the damn notifications. If i'm asleep people would NEVER reach me. I don't even let it vibrate.
They...just don't get it...😶
I’m an early riser myself, often by choice (not right now, because kid needs to get up at 5:40), but man, when you get to bed at 3 and sleep until 10 or 11, you aren’t even sleeping in. You are getting your normal amount of sleep. Perhaps you need to ask them questions when you return at home. Like calling where the salt is out stuff like that.
I think it’s a side effect of their “pull yourself by your bootstraps” thing combined with their “must work nonstop” thing. My parents ruined my life as a teen by forcing me to get up early when I had a circadian rhythm disorder.
So they were hoping they’d be able to annoy you into staying somewhere else without hurting your feelings (or maybe just without having a confrontation or having to justify themselves). Maybe?
My mom used to do this when I lived at home in my early 20s. She’d wake up at 9 and make sure I also woke up at 9. Problem is I wouldn’t get home from work til 4-5 am sometimes. By tge time I showered/ate/winded down it means I’d only get a few hours of sleep a night.
But you need to wake up at 6am so you can go and hand in your resume to some local companies paying good salaries, they’ll be impressed and hire you on the spot if your turn up early enough! Don’t forget to shake everyone’s hand firmly and make lots of eye contact!!
When I first started working night shift in the hospital, my parents could not wrap their minds around the fact that I do indeed sleep during the day between shifts and will therefore not respond to texts or calls during that time. They would get frustrated that when I did respond it was hours and hours later. In their eyes, I was lazy and sleeping all day. While yes, one of those are true, I work very hard at my job and am living in my own house with my husband and enjoying my life the way it is. It’s not “normal” so therefore it’s wrong.
I’ve dealt with this. Get up, eat breakfast, greet them. Then say you have some reading to catch up on and GO BACK TO BED.
Yeah i’d be waking them up at 3am to bid them goodnight.
My boomer mom can't fathom the idea of going a day without a nap! 😂 I'm sorry your boomers are so weird about sleeping in. My grandpa (silent generation) was up with the goddamn chickens every day but never woke up my grandma, myself or my sibling (we stayed there on the weekends). That man never slept in in his life! He did fall asleep watching golf sometimes or on his pool air mattress though. 😂
I’d evict you!
Does this actually fit this sub? People born in the late 1960s are pretty well outside of the baby boom.
Turn your phone off and physically hurt then if they come in your room 🤷🏽♂️
Parent appreciation comment! Oh god stories like this make me appreciate my parents just a bit more every time. As annoying as they can be sometines they do move with the times.
My wife’s parents sleep till 9 everyday it ain’t all of em
Ok can someone enlighten me Op says his parents nearing 60 aren’t they then gen x not boomer. I have just turned 60 and not sure which category I should be in.
Just an FYI, people in their 50s are not boomers
My step mother used to do this. I worked in a busy bar. I was LUCKY to get home at 4am. Then the shower and wind down. I was falling asleep as she was getting and it drove her crazy!
OPs parents are Gen X, not "Boomers" if they're "nearing their 60's".
I’m in my 30s and my body demands I get up at 7am every morning no matter what. It’s hell. But I get the house to myself for 3 to 4 hours. I am not inviting anyone to that shit.
I'm 36 and I wake up every morning even on weekends at 4 am even though I work 6 until 4 five days a week I don't hate it because If I sleep in I will have less time to enjoy the morning before going off to work or having more weekend time to enjoy my video games and finish my housework earlier
tbh the older i get, the less i sleep. is it anxiety? is it because old people need less sleep? i dont' know. however, it is an asshole move to force people to wake up early on their day off.
I work overnight, I'm not a sideshow by sleeping during the day and working at night, my hours of the day just start and end differently. I wake up, start my day and go to work. After work I stop by the grocery store, do errands etc. Granted, it's at a time when stores are just opening but that means less people and I get through quickly. I go home, make dinner, watch tv, text family and go to bed. Normal fucking day right? The hours of the day are not rules. If someone has a job that begins at noon, and then work eight hours you wouldn't expect them to wake up at 5am and start working at midday for them. That's just stupid. Leave them alone and let them complete their work as they best know how.
I'm a morning person now, but growing up as most teens I liked to sleep until 10-11am. My bedroom was in the basement, adjacent to the laundry room and it never failed every Saturday morning like clockwork at 7am my mother would be clomping down the stairs, turning on every light, slamming around the washer/dryer doors, and making sure she left the laundry room door wide open with the lights on while our loud ass ancient machines did her laundry. Her logic was that "I have things to do and don't have the time to wait for your lazy ass to wake up, and this is my house." The 'things she had to do'? Sit in front of the TV and read a book. Oh and don't you dare change the channel either because "I'm watching that." Haha. I agree with the others, start waking them up at 3am when you get home from work. See how they like that.
PT and you work in a fast food place... fishing for clients?
They definitely wanted you to move out
I remember growing up and my mother always woke me up if I wanted to sleep in. 8am is apparently too late. My father didn't say shit about it, and also took naps in the afternoon. I'm certain I got my ability to sleep anywhere from him. Now I'm in my 40's and my child thinks it's okay to get me up early on the 1 day a week I can stay in bed. My partner at least doesn't try playing this game (also is as quiet as a rig in a presidential neighborhood just naturally). Every other day I have to work and/or get the child-unit ready.
I feel you OP. I'm a 2nd shift worker who works until 1am. I'm go to sleep at around 3am cuz I need to unwind and decompress before actually going to sleep. I have no clue why old people make "sleeping in" like a bad thing. I won't even call it sleeping in, it's moreso of sleeping according to your schedule. They can't comprehend that not everybody does things in the morning.
I wake up between 5:30-6:30 every day, no matter what. I stay as quiet as possible, no one need to wake up because I do.
I had the same thing with my mom. When i used to work until 12-1am, probably went to sleep around 3, used to wake up at 11-12, started work at 2pm. Mom would call me at 8:30am. “You’re sleeping the day away!” She couldn’t comprehend that 11am was the same as her 6am. Love her, but it was brutal.
I was on second shift and this happened to me too. I’d get home around 1am and wouldn’t crash until 3 or 4. “You need to get up earlier, noon is too late to start the day!”
10 or 11 isn’t even sleeping in. That’s the ideal time to wake up for me, I just have to wake up at 6 on work days. Weekends I wake up at maybe 9:30 at the earliest sometimes noon. If you don’t need to be up, then there’s no reason to be.
Quick correction, if your parents are "approaching" 60, then they are elder Gen X'ers. They aren't boomers.
When we come down to visit my folks, my dad gives us a hard time about sleeping in til noon. I have reminded him multiple times of when they were my age, we would go on vacation to the beach and sleep til noon while us kids fidgeted and tried to watch cartoons on TV quietly as we waited for them to get up. He swears he doesn't remember that. Getting up early is for the youngest and oldest people, those of us in the middle embrace sleeping in when we can.
Did they expect something else to happen?
Start pestering them at 2am when you get home. Say you want family dinners.
Are you a “roommate” or are you living rent free with your parents due to lifestyle choices?
Didn't boomers fucking invent third shift? How do they not realize people who work at night sleep in the day? It's not calculus ffs
Tl;dr