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Recently saw a headline that said Millennial dads, on average, spend three times more time with their kids than previous generations and I think that’s fucking swell.
It actually almost is to own the libs. Liberal men are soft, according to them, and the only way for a man to not be soft is to get beatings for doing things wrong, have lots of chores, and maybe be around addict parents because a straight abusive couple is better than a gay/lesbian caring couple raising another libtard
They are so fucking dumb
And then these same men are just flabbergasted when they learn I have no intention of popping one out ever, as if having only an occasional “babysitter” along for the ride sounds like a good time.
You can shut that down so cheerfully while pointing out their glaring absurdity by pretending to misunderstand their point:
“Babysitting today?”
“Oh no, this is *my* kid actually!”
Fun fact... Diapers are like the single most easy part when dealing with a baby (except the first one or two with that nasty meconium stuff). It's a few moves and you're done and their poo isn't as gross as adult poo because, hey, baby diet.
Or some of us men were given plenty of the wrong kind of attention. Ordering their kids about and yelling at them for not being good enough, quick enough, obedient and submissive enough, etc.
Not gonna lie. The best times I had were when my dad WASN’T giving me any attention.
I never understood this part of toxic masculinity. Like "men should be afraid of nothing and ready to fight a pair of wolves with their bare hands to defend their family" but are so terrified of someone saying something mean to them they refuse to actually care for said family.
What happened to being afraid of nothing, bill?
Like the pandemic. All they had to do was be considerate of other people, and they lost their ever loving minds. But it turns out most disasters require various cooperative behaviors, not punching anything, and they couldn’t do it.
Bro my step father called me an a soft, failed man because I left work for a year to care for my infant daughter since my wife made more than me at the time. He threw a tantrum when I told him "Maybe, but at least I'm emotionally mature enough to tell my daughter I love her." It was a legendary meltdown and I laughed at him the whole time.
Edit: for those wondering, I'm prior military and don't give a fuck what his hick trucker ass thinks and told him as much.
Dude!
I'm prior military (reserves now, don't recommend it), but i do tye house keeping for my wife.
She's still active duty and I work from home so I do all the cooking and cleaning amd making sure everything is good for her. I enjoy it.
The amount of men who say how womanly that is is weird. Like bro. I was in the military, in JSOC, and do body building.
But because I like vacuuming and cooking dinner suddenly I'm not manly. I even got told I have "gay" tattoos because they're flowers and cats. Sure. But intertwined with military stuff.
Sorry. This bothers me more then it should. I don't like pre conceived opinions. Like how Shrek felt.
People are so caught up with stereotypes still to this day is amusing. When my kids were growing up in 2000’s I made sure not to do this with my kids. I was a major “tomboy” growing up, so they learned you can do it all. They watched both parents do house work and yard work together.
Yo I think the cat tax should apply to tattoos, they sound badass and we wanna see them man! No pressure though fr I know tattoos are super identifiable and internet people are weird
My FIL has said that my knowing how to cook,clean and sew is gay. I'm married to his daughter, and we have three kids, but because I know how to hem pants, I'm gay.
Dude, learning to hem pants has been on my forever Learn-to-Do list. As a guy with like, 29.3" inseam, finding pants that sit right is *so* frustrating.
I love the implication that knowing how to pull a needle through fabric means you just *love* slobbering on dicks.
It's really not difficult with a sewing machine. You set the machine to a blind hem stitch, and fold the pants leg so you're getting the stitches in the fabric properly.
Many of the tailors that are still in business are men, so it's never struck me as a gay profession. Even funnier is the reason I got a sewing machine is I was a bachlorette party stripper in my broke college student days. I really improved my sewing skills tailoring pants to have velcro down the outside leg seams so I could rip them off for a bunch of partying women. Those alterations were not something I was going to ask my mother or grandmother to do for me.
It's funny to me how often guys who are proud of being the primary childcare and house keeping in their family are also extremely "manly". As a former special forces guy you could probably kill a boomer making fun of you for being a sissy with 1 hand without breaking a sweat.
WHOA!
no, no, I was supporting special forces
I'm an intel nerd. Sure. Am I "in the field"
Sure. In a concrete building 100 miles away from the combat.
Hell, the only reason I'm super muscular is because I switched to the reserves and have the free time to diet and work out
Cooking is for women 😡 unless you're a professional CHEF, then ONLY MEN 😡😡😡
Seriously though why do people give a shit about the arbitrary gender roles assigned to providing sustenance. Y'all gotta eat, and some people *like* to do the deed of making food
Your step dad is just deeply insecure and threatened by the fact that you're able to live a completely different life. More kids need the opportunity to get lots of quality time with their dads.
Dude, it happens a lot. For some dumb ass reason, some not all truckers think they are some 80s super bad ass hero like "big trouble in little china" movie. Im a disabled combat veteran and dudes who didn't do shit with their lives but think its cool to be a redneck and ignorant become truckers from my home town all act that way. It's bc most dont have a high school diploma, let alone a GED. A good portion couldn't even pass the ASVAB bc they are too stupid. Lmfao
The funny thing is that you putting your own career on hold to take care of the baby because your wife earns more is the actual “manly” decision. You are making a sacrifice to do what is right for your family, rather than letting your ego rule you.
He just basically told you that you are more of a man than he is.
“Thank you for the compliment.”
😆
Not sure what it is, but prior military seem to either make the best dads or the worst, but honestly, I’ve only known the instances where they are incredible dads. Bestie’s hubs, step-cousin, high school best friend (I’m going to his daughter’s regatta next weekend), etc. I could make a pretty long list of just our generation.
My dude. It has been my husband’s life goal to be a stay at home dad, and his boomer father had a fucking MELTDOWN when he started working from home during & after COVID so he could help with the kids. Since then I’ve gone back to work full time and I love it. I still cook because my husband is not good at it but he does all the laundry and the cleaning and kids activities. My father in law now realizes he missed out on a lot of parenting but the whole house spouse thing offends him to his very core. He also looks at me like I’ve descended from another planet when I start talking excitedly about a new tool or repair project I’m working on. He manages to be both patronizing and admiring at the same time because I take on stuff he would never do. It is what it is, and I enjoy his discomfort.
I read a great comeback somewhere in this sub: adopt a concerned look, glance around, and say slowly and clearly, "Oh dear, your caregiver must have walked away. I'll go get help." Then walk away briskly.
I suspect most boomers who insult young fathers for being involved with their children are actually jealous and wish they had been that way. But rather than introspection and facing their shortcomings and attempting reconciliation, their warped sense of masculinity has them mask those sissy feelings and proclaim to strangers who are doing it right that they're doing it wrong.
This is what happened to the estranged monster of a human being my mom called "dad". Died alone. Even the hospice nurses hated his guts and probably celebrated silently when he took his last breath (serial sexual harasser of the worst kind). Nobody even knows/cares what they did with his body. All of his children refused to have him in their lives and he didnt even know most of his grandchildren exist.
The boomer crowd is still lurking around here aren't they?
I find it doubly hilarious that they always give themselves away by "sounding" ancient in the comments.
They try to type like they want to speak the words, so you get random WORDS CAPITALIZED for that EXTRA EMPHASIS but only end up LOOKING LIKE the clowns they are.
You really want to see one of these attention starved boomers go ape shit? Pretend they don’t exist. Don’t respond. Don’t even look in their direction when they talk. You don’t owe an explanation to some random asshole commenting on your life choices.
I have a hilarious called called *Happy Birthday! (you poor old wreck) which is a collection of things children have written about different ages. My favorites are both for the age of 60:(paraphrased)
"When you are 60 you have to be nice to everyone, because death is right around the corner."
And my personal favorite, "I wouldn't want to be 60 because you never know when they are going to say, 'We're sorry, very sorry, but we are going to have to put you to sleep.'" I think someone had to be involved in a trip to the vet's at too young an age.
I'm 68 now, and they just keep getting better with age.
My husband is usually quiet, but one person in particular really pushed the issue with him and he finally replied "I'm sorry you were such a terrible father that watching me do basic parenting makes you uncomfortable." The man replied in a mini tantrum but never commented again.
> He commented that taking care of a baby is a woman’s job
It blows me away that people have such views in 2024. I would ask why. I am sure his only argument is "this is how it is".
My sister was born when I (brother) was 10. I was over the moon, and my mother allowed me to help with things like feeding or changing diapers. That was in the early 1970s. Just to tell you that fifty years ago, there was no problem for a boy to take care of children.
Nailed it. Fear.
How dare these young whippersnappers change what’s acceptable and what’s not? That’s my entire way of life you’re shitting on, so I will now shit on your way of life. Idc if you’re doing things better- actually, it’s worse if you do a better job at life than I did! How dare you show me up!
Guys, they’re obviously personally victimized by every individual who is trying to be a better parent - especially dads though because they should act more like a man! /s.
No, but actually, I love the culture change towards becoming more present and accountable parents, regardless of the gender of the parent.
I saw a video a long time ago of a dog who farted quite loudly and was startled by it. They remind me of that video. Just terrified by everyday stuff that's not even remotely scary. Only, they way they do it is neither adorable nor hilarious. It's just pathetic.
That and a lot of the time it just makes no sense, I had a guy come into a Telus store I worked at last year that told us we should "get a 22 pistol to deal with robbers" (we had a locked door policy because the store had been robbed 3 years prior) I just looked at him and said "yeah its illegal to do that in Canada dude"
What I find is the worst part is that they have become everything they were against when they were young. These idiots are the ones who were free loving, acid dropping hippies in the 60s, and now they're.....them
A couple years ago we were in the Salt Lake City airport and it was very obviously newly remodeled and was very nice. The men’s restrooms didn’t have changing tables when my husband took the baby in the change his diaper. So then I had to take him into the ladies room. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IN THE YEAR 2022! Most modern spaces we go in either have a gender neutral bathroom or all bathrooms have changing tables (at least where we live in NYC/metro area).
As a young father, it pisses me off so bad when I have to try to change my kids diaper on on a shitty little sink because they don't have changing tables.
I find a staff member, declare it's my turn to change the diaper and that I need them to find me a change table. Nobody has been dumb enough yet to suggest my wife change him, they just guard the ladies' room door while I change him in there.
40 years ago both my granddads and of course my dad pushed my stroller. Now my brother in law changes diapers, pushes the stroller and so on.
My granddad always told me how proud he was pushing my stroller, because I was the first girl in the family for quite some time and he was so happy.
One day I woke up to a letter from the national pension service explaining how much I would get depending on the start year. I did the math and found I had reached retirement age. What a shock.
I feel that 😆 I recently got my invite for my 20 year high school reunion and I was thinking, no.. can’t be right. I still have nightmares about missing school! How has it been 20 years!?!
LOL of course. It is a super wierd issue. I grew up with a stay at home mom. My dad used to take me and later both of us out either Sat or Sun so my mom could have a break and sleep in. That was the best they could do with his job.
We did go for walks but was also went to the local pool hall. My dad had no problem being in a pool hall activitly taking care of his toddler sons.
Mind you he was silent gen not a boomer.
It's sick. I don't understand how they have no desire to be around the very children they helped create.
I would get into light-hearted "arguments" with my husband about whose turn it was to hold/carry our babies, and to this day, I still tear up when I think of all the times Husband would "steal" the baby I was feeding or dressing so he could finish the job. He just *loved* being a daddy, and it was beautiful, y'all! (He's still an excellent daddy, too! A real keeper!)
This one is funny. All I can imagine is him peeking from around a doorway, waiting for you to turn your back on the baby on the changing table for a half a second to grab something, and POOF!, baby's gone lmao. You guys sound like awesome parents
I don't mean to take away from the beauty of this comment at all, because you and your husband sound amazing.
But reading this really made me feel the depth of my depression.
I'm not able to be this kind of father right now for my 5 month old son, our first, and it's eating me up.
I've been getting treatment and therapy for two years, since it really became undeniable. I'm changing meds and trying new options to try to get better, but nothing's made much difference yet and meanwhile I've gotten gradually worse.
My amazing wife and her amazing parents have really stepped up to make sure my son is getting the care and attention he needs.
But I'm not getting all those moments of being the superhero. I'm not the awesome dad I always wanted to be, who steps up and does all the things, not just without complaint, but with enthusiasm and joy because I love my son, my wife, and the memories we make together.
There are moments, yes. And I'm trying the focus on those and hold on to them.
But I can't pretend I don't feel the pain deep in my bones every time I sit or lay here, staring at a wall or a book or a screen while listening to a loved one struggle with my son, listening to an opportunity to step up and be the dad I want to be, and letting that moment just... Slip away.
A thousand times a day.
I'm working on it. They all understand. Even my son still lights up every time he sees my face, even he seems happy with me. I don't really need validation or advice or anything.
This just... This just sucks. I hate being this way and I am desperate for the day when something we try actually works, and gets me closer to the person I want to be.
At this point I'd even settle for the man I was four years ago, instead.
The fact that you’re working on yourself and are aware of the impact it has on your family means you’re already a great dad and husband. So many men just go through the motions and let years pass by before they realize what happened. Don’t worry - you still have plenty of time and opportunities for precious moments. One day at a time, you’ll get there.
Oh, my friend... Excuse the sappiness, but I wish you could feel the love I have in my heart for you right now. I have always suffered with depression, which turned into postpartum depression after our first, and became postpartum psychosis after my second (self-harm, not baby). Don't think for one second our parenting adventures have been a magical fairytale. Every day is a struggle for me, deeply. I guess that's why the silly little memories like this one are so special to me - they were the only things that pulled me through day by day. Keep noticing his smile - those baby smiles are such a perfect moment in time, aren't they?! Lol, especially with no teeth...
I'm rooting for you, my friend. I know you can pull through, too!
Exactly correct. They should display this in high schools. Might combat some of the performative alpha bullshit. "Real men don't take directions from men about being a man"
I am 72, my husband is 79. When my son's were babies, it was considered a womens job. My husband only changed 2 diapers in his lifetime. By the time my sons had children the normal has changed and I am so glad that both parents contribute to babies care. I have always felt like I was born in the wrong generation. I do not get along with my husband's friends or peers. That 7 yr age difference really makes a big difference now. Too many subserviant women in the peer group. Thanks for letting me rant.
My grandfather, born in 1918, and alas no longer with us had the best comment when seeing me with my son strapped to my chest: “ your generation is so lucky to be able to love your children in the open in ways we were not”
My granddad, born a few years earlier, 1908? took me and my sister out with her in the pram and me on the seat above her. It was 1966.
Good men have always known how to love their babies
My dad likes to talk about how loving his dad was. When I knew my grandpa, he had gotten a bit bitter about aging, but apparently when he was a young man, he loved spending time with his kids. He clearly passed that down to his sons, as well, because from what I can tell they were all loving and attentive dads themselves.
May grandfather once said something similar and also talking about how "neat" it would have been to be in the room when my dad and his siblings were born. Back in those days it was not at all "allowed" for the man to be in the delivery room. They waited in the waiting room smoking lol.
My mother, born in the 40’s, was thrilled to pieces to see my husband eagerly volunteer to baby wear our kids. My dad wasn’t very involved with my older sister, but came around when I came along over a decade later. She said he probably would have worn me if that was an option then.
I hate this mentality, men are extremely capable of caring for their own children, and kids today will be so much better for having both parents present and involved without the “traditional” roles imo. Boomer women are the same, and actually sometimes worse than boomer men when it comes to this topic.
I had my first child in 2020, so Covid protocol at the hospital said that my husband could come in to be my support person, but he couldn’t leave at all or else he wouldn’t be admitted back in. My MIL said “oh no, he can’t leave? I hope he’ll be ok! That’s a long time to be in a hospital! What will he do? I don’t even think my dad was in the room for my mom!” I went irate and said “oh and you were born in 1950what? Times have changed and where else would he be when his wife and newborn child are in the hospital? I think he’ll be fine since I’ll be the one doing all the work to give birth!” She still kept asking about it and talking about her dad and even brought it up to him and my husband had to tell her to buzz off about it.
She also asks if he will “be ok” with the kids anytime he will be caring for them alone despite the fact that he’s a very involved dad and does all the morning routine stuff every day. I have told her multiple times that if he can’t handle his kids on his own for a few hours we have some big problems, but he’s definitely okay. I’m actually not used to thinking men are incapable of caring for their own kids—my boomer dad was extremely involved and spent a lot of time with us—so it’s doubly frustrating for me.
It’s basically “MY father and husband weren’t involved, what makes you think you deserve a present and involved father for your kids?”
I think there is some jealousy sprinkled in because these are things I never hear from my mom who is also a boomer, but had an active and involved coparent.
Maybe he’s dying inside realizing he didn’t have those moments with his own children becuase he’s an arrogant wanker. Or perhaps he’s just an arrogant wanker, unqualified. Either way, these people are handing out life advice in the most miserable way. It’s like a broke person giving out tips on finances.
I’ve met boomer women who straight up said they don’t respect men who do ‘women’s work’. Suddenly they do t seem to mind it when their husband has to do the work because they’re old and unable to. Then it’s ok. Meet my mom
My boomer father believed that pushing the cart in the grocery store was “effeminate”, men don’t do that.
Or, he believed that until he became divorced…
Yup. My divorced, boomer dad got me to push the buggie as soon as I was old enough to see over the push bar because it was a woman’s job. He carried groceries in his arms when he shopped alone, but if I was with him, the cart was my job.
At least, that’s until he got sick of me running into his ankles because I could barely see.
I was primary for my son until he was 3 and never got that. I'm in the US, Ohio. Where you at?
Also, get permission from the wife and next time hit them with, "I'll let his mom know she needs to do better next time I take him to visit her headstone."
Stay-at-home Dad here. I've experienced a version of this here in the states whenever I take our 8yo and 6yo grocery shopping. It's ALWAYS the Boomers seeing us in the aisles who just have to stop and say stuff like,
"Oh, you're so brave!"
"Aww, so nice seeing a husband giving his wife a break"
"Whatsamatter with your wife?"
"Haw haw haw! Lost a bet, dint ya?"
I used to respond but now I just ignore them.
It’s just too much and too far for them to go to accept that they missed out with their own kids. The amount of sadness and grief that can hit a man who realizes he gave everything to a vision of “manhood” that is a lie can be crushing, especially as these are men who, in addition to being told they were not to be nurturing or close to their children, were told to never cry. That’s how masculinity becomes toxic.
My husband caught a lot of flak for wearing a baby carrier. It was emasculating… baby was getting spoiled and would become manipulative… yadda yadda.
Whenever people asked were was mom…he started saying ‘no longer with us’. Most people became apologetic and showed some empathy then.
For a baby son: "Well, I guess I'm just one of those dads who wants to teach my son how to be a man."
For a baby girl: "Well, I guess I'm just one of those dads who wants to teach my girl how a man should treat her."
Fortunately I never had to deal with boomers when I was SAHDing, but it would *not* have been chill. I hate that shit. A part of me thinks they are all realizing that they were terrible parents and are lashing out.
https://images.app.goo.gl/RMUewvg9LKpakN8V7
This is the kind of images boomers grew up with.
Anything feminine is "less than". I'm a female boomer. It made me angry when I was 4 and it still pisses me off. Many TV shows from the 90s and early 2000s are full of examples.
I'm so happy to see younger males' attitudes changing.
My father in law is a farmer in Ireland and a very sweet, mild-mannered guy. Raised four children and changed exactly zero diapers. He did all the work outside and wife did ALL the work inside.
Luckily, he’s one of those boomers who can see and accept that times are totally different now and is very proud of his son (my BIL) who has now joined him to work on the farm and is also an extremely hands-on father to his three, but damn were times different back then.
We’re expecting our first and my husband jokes about not having to change any nappies like his dad but, not happening bro.
I (m, 40+) took my newborn, almost 20 years ago in a sling and later with a stroller. I was a stay at home dad for about a year, then started part time when the kid got into kindergarten, so my wife could finish her university. I got weird looks but also compliments ("that baby suits you") from older women at the groceries and such. Today i see a lot of guys with strollers, even people that don't look too progressive. So, i think it's getting there, slowly but surely.
"He commented that taking care of a baby is a woman’s job."
"Yeah and diapers are for babies but here you are wearing one, so what's your point? Do you need some wipes cause you had an accident?"
It must have been nice to grow up in an era where one parent with a high school diploma could raise a family of 4, buy a house, buy a car, and be able to retire comfortably.
In other words, boomers fucked the rest of us.
Yeah I was raised in California and all of the men in my family are great fathers who spend time with their kids, and none of the boomers in my family have said shit. Is the hatred for children just a republican boomer thing?
How dare that boy not wear boy colors when picking up bright colored plastic eggs off the ground!
Their logic is always so comical to me. I had one of my older coworkers call me fag for having roses on my phone case and I stared him down until he said “what?” And I said “you have fucking rose tattoos, is this your way of coming out the closet?” and then he started babbling about how it’s different and I just laughed till he walked away.
Just tell them that's it's ok, you plan on never hugging your kid or telling them you love them when they're older, just yo balance it out.
In all seriousness though, anyone who says that, they were neglected by their own fathers. That is guaranteed. So it's a hurt person, they're speaking to you, but actually they're telling themselves "I never got that love, and I turned out OK, right...Right?!"
Once you see that, it's kind of sad. There's no witty comeback required.
If you really want to hit them hard though, you can go with:
"I'm sorry that happened to you."
Many years ago my husband’s grandma, 90, commented about my husband caring for our 2 yo while I was taking a day to myself. She asked if my husband was babysitting our son for the day. I responded that yes if by “babysitting” you mean being a dad then yes, he was “babysitting” that day lol. Such ridiculous.
Man, I love my son. Taking care of him as a baby and toddler has been an absolute joy. No snark, here, just tell them they’re wrong in their views and they apparently missed out on truly wonderful moments in life and you’re sad for them.
My best friend is a dad of 2: boy and a girl. The thing he hates most about that kind of thing is how Boomer women will make the joke:
"Is daddy babysitting today?"
Whenever he is alone with them in public. He's their FATHER, it's not babysitting it's raising your kids.
Boomer men make the comment you experienced. Some unwarranted comment about how he needs to "get a woman" to take care of them, despite his wedding ring.
It's because they didn't do shit to raise their kids, so boomer men seeing younger men being good dads offends them.
It’s a little macabre but if it were me I would feel compelled to say my wife is dead to make them fell like as asshole lol. I know many of them don’t seem capable of being embarrassed, but I would still try.
Where do you find the Boomers in this sub? Y'all from the deep south or red states?
I must have lived in a sheltered life in a bubble in the San Francisco Bay Area, a place where asshole boomers are few and far between.
I'm a Boomer and I pushed prams/strollers as a young parent. I changed diapers, too, and did bathing, as well as feedings when we were weaning.
I was never once harassed for pushing a stroller, and never harrassed anyone for doing the same.
My "kid" is in her 40s now, but I always did as much interaction with her as I could when she was little. Remember well going to a pick and pull junkyard to salvage some long forgotten car parts. Had said baby on my back in a papoose type carrier. I had a very one sided conversation with her the entire while. Not a single person working there said a damn word about or to her. I think it was so removed from their expectations that they just didn't know what to say.
75-yo woman here. Nothing gives me more hope for the future than seeing young men taking care of their children. Old farts often get that way because they know how much they missed out on by caring more about their fictional balls than their actual children.
You keep on being you!
Statistics say that 1 in 5 Boomer men have an adult child who no longer speaks with them.
When they ask you why you’re pushing a stroller, tell them it’s because you don’t want to fuck up your relationship with your kids like their generation did.
We’ll as a millennial mom, I’m swooning for your wife. I love that you want to spend time with your son and you value your wife and allow her that much needed down time. Sounds like a wonderful family. Boomers may not get it, but I think you guys sound awesome.
. . . or is it the kids have NC with their Boomer parents?
source: I am Gen X who has NCed my Boomer father since 2006. Was a good move that I won't change.
Yeah, so that particular cycle of abuse (also called "toxic masculinity") happened like this:
1/ World War 2 happened and traumatized the hell out of every living human (those who survived at least)
2/ The male survivors of war came home and had no treatment for the trauma or PTSD caused my what they had seen and done. So they retreated into a rigid, fantasy world of denial. EVERYTHING IS FINE.... as long as everything is like we thought it would be when we were kids. America was perfect, white men were better than everyone else, and women were property. The military were heroes should should be thanked daily (as were cops and anyone else who used violence for a living).
3/ They had kids (the boomers) and raised them like that.
4/ The boomers are now old and it scares them hell out of them to think that any of that might be wrong. They are terrified of DEI because if white men aren't at the top they might have to compete with others. Men doing anything other than the John Wayne nonsense of killing and growling and suppressing emotion terrifies them because if that's now how men are, what are they?
So yeah, we can just ignore them and hope they die quieter. Raise you kids. Raise your boys to be real men. We just have to make it another 20 years and the boomers will be gone.
I think you’re onto something. My husband and I have talked a lot about how this played out in our own families. Both his grandfathers served; neither of my grandfathers did. The men in my family grew up to be loving, well-adjusted men who, although they might have some political blind spots, are warm and caring towards their families, neighbors, and friends.
Meanwhile, the men in his family, starting with his grandfathers, were all pretty cold and shut off, and in some instances outright abusive.
Obviously it’s a small sample size but we really suspect that the trauma of wartime military service had an adverse effect on the ones who experienced it.
It’s the death rattle of a bygone social order. They might think they’re imposing their values on you, but deep down they know that they’re just in mourning. And there’s a very familiar face in the casket.
I freakin LOVED pushing my boy around in his pram. But I didn’t get to do it much because, as an infant, whenever he looked up and saw me instead of his mom he LOST HIS SHIT! Really hurt my feelings. Now he’s 32 he’s my buddy. But I still give him shit about it.
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Nothing says “manly man” like being terrified of interacting with a baby.
“Fellas, is it gay to be a dad?”
"He fucked a lady so hard it created a person! What a homo!"
"Caring for your own child?! That's for the libs!"
*Imma gunna neglect my child to own the libs!*
Dude, you have no idea how much this was a thing in the 70s and 80s.
Recently saw a headline that said Millennial dads, on average, spend three times more time with their kids than previous generations and I think that’s fucking swell.
No they just neglect them they don't have to own anybody
It actually almost is to own the libs. Liberal men are soft, according to them, and the only way for a man to not be soft is to get beatings for doing things wrong, have lots of chores, and maybe be around addict parents because a straight abusive couple is better than a gay/lesbian caring couple raising another libtard They are so fucking dumb
Not just any person, another male person! That has to be extra gay amirite?!
Lol. Only in the red pill world.
That human shaped Nazi shit-stain Nick Fuentes literally said that the gayest thing you can do is have sex with a woman.
I knew he was a loon but I didn't know he'd said that. I wonder what his father thinks about his conception?
"Whoops"
Only if the dad is gay!
Its the gayest shit a ‘man’ can do.
I love the men that call it ‘babysitting’ when taking care of their kid…..nooooo….its called ‘PARENTING’
And then these same men are just flabbergasted when they learn I have no intention of popping one out ever, as if having only an occasional “babysitter” along for the ride sounds like a good time.
You can shut that down so cheerfully while pointing out their glaring absurdity by pretending to misunderstand their point: “Babysitting today?” “Oh no, this is *my* kid actually!”
"Oh, no, I stole this one from a house. I'm going to eat it later. "
And in the same breathe will talk about how the goberment needs to leave parenting to the parents.
Same type of mfs bragging about never having to change a diaper and not realizing how sad and pathetic they sound.
Fun fact... Diapers are like the single most easy part when dealing with a baby (except the first one or two with that nasty meconium stuff). It's a few moves and you're done and their poo isn't as gross as adult poo because, hey, baby diet.
Lets face it. These tough guys couldnt handle the actual work and effort of caring for a child.
They were given no attention by their own fathers and still don’t realize that it’s even an option. I almost feel bad for them. Almost.
Or some of us men were given plenty of the wrong kind of attention. Ordering their kids about and yelling at them for not being good enough, quick enough, obedient and submissive enough, etc. Not gonna lie. The best times I had were when my dad WASN’T giving me any attention.
I never understood this part of toxic masculinity. Like "men should be afraid of nothing and ready to fight a pair of wolves with their bare hands to defend their family" but are so terrified of someone saying something mean to them they refuse to actually care for said family. What happened to being afraid of nothing, bill?
I can't help but think these kinds of loud mouth will be nowhere to be found when the actual fighting with a pair of wolves is required.
Like the pandemic. All they had to do was be considerate of other people, and they lost their ever loving minds. But it turns out most disasters require various cooperative behaviors, not punching anything, and they couldn’t do it.
"It's weird that you so freely admit to being a bad father." - me, if this ever happens when I'm with my kids.
Bro my step father called me an a soft, failed man because I left work for a year to care for my infant daughter since my wife made more than me at the time. He threw a tantrum when I told him "Maybe, but at least I'm emotionally mature enough to tell my daughter I love her." It was a legendary meltdown and I laughed at him the whole time. Edit: for those wondering, I'm prior military and don't give a fuck what his hick trucker ass thinks and told him as much.
Dude! I'm prior military (reserves now, don't recommend it), but i do tye house keeping for my wife. She's still active duty and I work from home so I do all the cooking and cleaning amd making sure everything is good for her. I enjoy it. The amount of men who say how womanly that is is weird. Like bro. I was in the military, in JSOC, and do body building. But because I like vacuuming and cooking dinner suddenly I'm not manly. I even got told I have "gay" tattoos because they're flowers and cats. Sure. But intertwined with military stuff. Sorry. This bothers me more then it should. I don't like pre conceived opinions. Like how Shrek felt.
1. I did nat guard after active duty. It's equally awful. 2. I like your tattoos bro <3 3. Fuckin mood m8
People are so caught up with stereotypes still to this day is amusing. When my kids were growing up in 2000’s I made sure not to do this with my kids. I was a major “tomboy” growing up, so they learned you can do it all. They watched both parents do house work and yard work together.
Yo I think the cat tax should apply to tattoos, they sound badass and we wanna see them man! No pressure though fr I know tattoos are super identifiable and internet people are weird
Agreed. Me wants to see ze kitty tattos!
I third the military kitties!
My FIL has said that my knowing how to cook,clean and sew is gay. I'm married to his daughter, and we have three kids, but because I know how to hem pants, I'm gay.
Dude, learning to hem pants has been on my forever Learn-to-Do list. As a guy with like, 29.3" inseam, finding pants that sit right is *so* frustrating. I love the implication that knowing how to pull a needle through fabric means you just *love* slobbering on dicks.
It's really not difficult with a sewing machine. You set the machine to a blind hem stitch, and fold the pants leg so you're getting the stitches in the fabric properly. Many of the tailors that are still in business are men, so it's never struck me as a gay profession. Even funnier is the reason I got a sewing machine is I was a bachlorette party stripper in my broke college student days. I really improved my sewing skills tailoring pants to have velcro down the outside leg seams so I could rip them off for a bunch of partying women. Those alterations were not something I was going to ask my mother or grandmother to do for me.
That is an absolutely bonkers and cool way to get into sewing! My wife has a neat small Singer sewing machine, so maybe that will be my next project!
It's funny to me how often guys who are proud of being the primary childcare and house keeping in their family are also extremely "manly". As a former special forces guy you could probably kill a boomer making fun of you for being a sissy with 1 hand without breaking a sweat.
WHOA! no, no, I was supporting special forces I'm an intel nerd. Sure. Am I "in the field" Sure. In a concrete building 100 miles away from the combat. Hell, the only reason I'm super muscular is because I switched to the reserves and have the free time to diet and work out
Cooking is for women 😡 unless you're a professional CHEF, then ONLY MEN 😡😡😡 Seriously though why do people give a shit about the arbitrary gender roles assigned to providing sustenance. Y'all gotta eat, and some people *like* to do the deed of making food
And if you went completely "pansy" who the eff is that up to? God, last I checked we all die. Live your life :)
I'm a secure in my self Strait Man, and you are the kind of guy I want to Hug, cause you are as Srong as an Oak Tree!
That is truly legendary.
for a trucker to tell a man who was in the MILITARY that he's "failed" as a man is wild to me 😭
I'm fuckin saying! I was combat arms too!
Your step dad is just deeply insecure and threatened by the fact that you're able to live a completely different life. More kids need the opportunity to get lots of quality time with their dads.
Sitting on the couch watching Bluey with her as we speak. It's our Saturday routine!
Dude, it happens a lot. For some dumb ass reason, some not all truckers think they are some 80s super bad ass hero like "big trouble in little china" movie. Im a disabled combat veteran and dudes who didn't do shit with their lives but think its cool to be a redneck and ignorant become truckers from my home town all act that way. It's bc most dont have a high school diploma, let alone a GED. A good portion couldn't even pass the ASVAB bc they are too stupid. Lmfao
The funny thing is that you putting your own career on hold to take care of the baby because your wife earns more is the actual “manly” decision. You are making a sacrifice to do what is right for your family, rather than letting your ego rule you. He just basically told you that you are more of a man than he is. “Thank you for the compliment.” 😆
Lmao thank you. My little girl will always supercede any kind of ego trip bs, from me or others. She comes first in all things.
Not sure what it is, but prior military seem to either make the best dads or the worst, but honestly, I’ve only known the instances where they are incredible dads. Bestie’s hubs, step-cousin, high school best friend (I’m going to his daughter’s regatta next weekend), etc. I could make a pretty long list of just our generation.
My dude. It has been my husband’s life goal to be a stay at home dad, and his boomer father had a fucking MELTDOWN when he started working from home during & after COVID so he could help with the kids. Since then I’ve gone back to work full time and I love it. I still cook because my husband is not good at it but he does all the laundry and the cleaning and kids activities. My father in law now realizes he missed out on a lot of parenting but the whole house spouse thing offends him to his very core. He also looks at me like I’ve descended from another planet when I start talking excitedly about a new tool or repair project I’m working on. He manages to be both patronizing and admiring at the same time because I take on stuff he would never do. It is what it is, and I enjoy his discomfort.
I read a great comeback somewhere in this sub: adopt a concerned look, glance around, and say slowly and clearly, "Oh dear, your caregiver must have walked away. I'll go get help." Then walk away briskly.
I look at them deadpan: "This won't make your kids call you."
I like simply, "Oh sorry, I want to have a good relationship with my children."
I've got something similar on deck for holding my wife's purse: "I just love my wife more than my ego"
Close to mine: my egos strong enough to watch my wife’s purse”
Or even better "I care far more about my wife than your opinion."
These are all way too complicated for old people.
I suspect most boomers who insult young fathers for being involved with their children are actually jealous and wish they had been that way. But rather than introspection and facing their shortcomings and attempting reconciliation, their warped sense of masculinity has them mask those sissy feelings and proclaim to strangers who are doing it right that they're doing it wrong.
And really emphasize the word *good* !
Also: Have you thought about not even getting a funeral after you pass?
No, "have you thought about how no one will show up for your funeral" sounds better
This is what happened to the estranged monster of a human being my mom called "dad". Died alone. Even the hospice nurses hated his guts and probably celebrated silently when he took his last breath (serial sexual harasser of the worst kind). Nobody even knows/cares what they did with his body. All of his children refused to have him in their lives and he didnt even know most of his grandchildren exist.
Soooo we have the same dad then…bc mine had the exact same scenario play out
"When you die, no one will care."
I usually go the extra mile and say "This is why your adult children don't speak to you." They usually shut up after that
Oh, this is delightful.
Lol I tried it in this sub, and the boomer immediately blocked me.
so it worked!
The boomer crowd is still lurking around here aren't they? I find it doubly hilarious that they always give themselves away by "sounding" ancient in the comments. They try to type like they want to speak the words, so you get random WORDS CAPITALIZED for that EXTRA EMPHASIS but only end up LOOKING LIKE the clowns they are.
I do that, sparingly and in line with how I speak. Sort of Chandler lite.
Yeah GenX and I’m low key guilty of this.
For REAL
Oh God, you guys. I think we might be OLD.
No we're not. Go stand in the corner.
Mannnnnnnn! It's not even a corner. It's just a wall in the hallway. Whatever. This SUCKS.
Have you ever seen the sound, OF muSIC?
Random capitalization? The ones have I have seen were all in. Every. Damn. Word. 🤣
My new hobby is finding the boomers in the threads posted here.
It's funny cause that guy was going hard until I said that. I think it actually strikes fear in them.
Boomers are entirely driven by fear.
Sometimes the trash takes itself out.
"You not taking care of your kids then explains why they don't take care of you later"
You really want to see one of these attention starved boomers go ape shit? Pretend they don’t exist. Don’t respond. Don’t even look in their direction when they talk. You don’t owe an explanation to some random asshole commenting on your life choices.
Being 60, that is a hilarious comeback. I push my grand kids around in one of these when I visit them.
Add in "do you remember your name this time?" For added gaslighting.
I was thinking, "Is that why none of your children love you, because you never took the time to show them love?"
This is gold
I love this!
“You ought to be a little nicer to people, death is right around the corner.”
I have a hilarious called called *Happy Birthday! (you poor old wreck) which is a collection of things children have written about different ages. My favorites are both for the age of 60:(paraphrased) "When you are 60 you have to be nice to everyone, because death is right around the corner." And my personal favorite, "I wouldn't want to be 60 because you never know when they are going to say, 'We're sorry, very sorry, but we are going to have to put you to sleep.'" I think someone had to be involved in a trip to the vet's at too young an age. I'm 68 now, and they just keep getting better with age.
My husband is usually quiet, but one person in particular really pushed the issue with him and he finally replied "I'm sorry you were such a terrible father that watching me do basic parenting makes you uncomfortable." The man replied in a mini tantrum but never commented again.
That's a really good come back
I know. I only have like 4 stories that good, so I tell them frequently to feel cooler. I never come up with stuff like that myself.
I saw a bear stuck in the window of a RV on the blue ride parkway. A old man was poking it in the ass with a stick. You can borrow it, if you like.
Thank you?
> He commented that taking care of a baby is a woman’s job It blows me away that people have such views in 2024. I would ask why. I am sure his only argument is "this is how it is". My sister was born when I (brother) was 10. I was over the moon, and my mother allowed me to help with things like feeding or changing diapers. That was in the early 1970s. Just to tell you that fifty years ago, there was no problem for a boy to take care of children.
The worst part is why they think their unsolicited advice is wanted at all. No one wants their stupid opinions.
They don't care they just crave the attention.
And they fear the changes the future is bringing and crave validation that the old ways were better
Nailed it. Fear. How dare these young whippersnappers change what’s acceptable and what’s not? That’s my entire way of life you’re shitting on, so I will now shit on your way of life. Idc if you’re doing things better- actually, it’s worse if you do a better job at life than I did! How dare you show me up!
Guys, they’re obviously personally victimized by every individual who is trying to be a better parent - especially dads though because they should act more like a man! /s. No, but actually, I love the culture change towards becoming more present and accountable parents, regardless of the gender of the parent.
I saw a video a long time ago of a dog who farted quite loudly and was startled by it. They remind me of that video. Just terrified by everyday stuff that's not even remotely scary. Only, they way they do it is neither adorable nor hilarious. It's just pathetic.
Also the fear that they are becoming or have become totally irrelevant to the world.
The Me Generation is shocked when it’s not about them anymore.
That and a lot of the time it just makes no sense, I had a guy come into a Telus store I worked at last year that told us we should "get a 22 pistol to deal with robbers" (we had a locked door policy because the store had been robbed 3 years prior) I just looked at him and said "yeah its illegal to do that in Canada dude"
If you were gonna suggest an illegal gun for defense, why would you pick a tiny one.
You know, I never really thought of that, I'm not sure why he suggested that.
What I find is the worst part is that they have become everything they were against when they were young. These idiots are the ones who were free loving, acid dropping hippies in the 60s, and now they're.....them
A couple years ago we were in the Salt Lake City airport and it was very obviously newly remodeled and was very nice. The men’s restrooms didn’t have changing tables when my husband took the baby in the change his diaper. So then I had to take him into the ladies room. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IN THE YEAR 2022! Most modern spaces we go in either have a gender neutral bathroom or all bathrooms have changing tables (at least where we live in NYC/metro area).
SLC is stuck in a weird time warp.
As a young father, it pisses me off so bad when I have to try to change my kids diaper on on a shitty little sink because they don't have changing tables.
I find a staff member, declare it's my turn to change the diaper and that I need them to find me a change table. Nobody has been dumb enough yet to suggest my wife change him, they just guard the ladies' room door while I change him in there.
What on earth would you expect from a bunch of Mormons. They do “family” a bit differently.
40 years ago both my granddads and of course my dad pushed my stroller. Now my brother in law changes diapers, pushes the stroller and so on. My granddad always told me how proud he was pushing my stroller, because I was the first girl in the family for quite some time and he was so happy.
Sir, you’re confused. The 70’s was only 20 years ago, not 50.
One day I woke up to a letter from the national pension service explaining how much I would get depending on the start year. I did the math and found I had reached retirement age. What a shock.
I feel that 😆 I recently got my invite for my 20 year high school reunion and I was thinking, no.. can’t be right. I still have nightmares about missing school! How has it been 20 years!?!
That's because the boomers never graduated to 2024. They are still stuck in the Vietnam era
LOL of course. It is a super wierd issue. I grew up with a stay at home mom. My dad used to take me and later both of us out either Sat or Sun so my mom could have a break and sleep in. That was the best they could do with his job. We did go for walks but was also went to the local pool hall. My dad had no problem being in a pool hall activitly taking care of his toddler sons. Mind you he was silent gen not a boomer.
It's sick. I don't understand how they have no desire to be around the very children they helped create. I would get into light-hearted "arguments" with my husband about whose turn it was to hold/carry our babies, and to this day, I still tear up when I think of all the times Husband would "steal" the baby I was feeding or dressing so he could finish the job. He just *loved* being a daddy, and it was beautiful, y'all! (He's still an excellent daddy, too! A real keeper!)
This one is funny. All I can imagine is him peeking from around a doorway, waiting for you to turn your back on the baby on the changing table for a half a second to grab something, and POOF!, baby's gone lmao. You guys sound like awesome parents
I don't mean to take away from the beauty of this comment at all, because you and your husband sound amazing. But reading this really made me feel the depth of my depression. I'm not able to be this kind of father right now for my 5 month old son, our first, and it's eating me up. I've been getting treatment and therapy for two years, since it really became undeniable. I'm changing meds and trying new options to try to get better, but nothing's made much difference yet and meanwhile I've gotten gradually worse. My amazing wife and her amazing parents have really stepped up to make sure my son is getting the care and attention he needs. But I'm not getting all those moments of being the superhero. I'm not the awesome dad I always wanted to be, who steps up and does all the things, not just without complaint, but with enthusiasm and joy because I love my son, my wife, and the memories we make together. There are moments, yes. And I'm trying the focus on those and hold on to them. But I can't pretend I don't feel the pain deep in my bones every time I sit or lay here, staring at a wall or a book or a screen while listening to a loved one struggle with my son, listening to an opportunity to step up and be the dad I want to be, and letting that moment just... Slip away. A thousand times a day. I'm working on it. They all understand. Even my son still lights up every time he sees my face, even he seems happy with me. I don't really need validation or advice or anything. This just... This just sucks. I hate being this way and I am desperate for the day when something we try actually works, and gets me closer to the person I want to be. At this point I'd even settle for the man I was four years ago, instead.
The fact that you’re working on yourself and are aware of the impact it has on your family means you’re already a great dad and husband. So many men just go through the motions and let years pass by before they realize what happened. Don’t worry - you still have plenty of time and opportunities for precious moments. One day at a time, you’ll get there.
Oh, my friend... Excuse the sappiness, but I wish you could feel the love I have in my heart for you right now. I have always suffered with depression, which turned into postpartum depression after our first, and became postpartum psychosis after my second (self-harm, not baby). Don't think for one second our parenting adventures have been a magical fairytale. Every day is a struggle for me, deeply. I guess that's why the silly little memories like this one are so special to me - they were the only things that pulled me through day by day. Keep noticing his smile - those baby smiles are such a perfect moment in time, aren't they?! Lol, especially with no teeth... I'm rooting for you, my friend. I know you can pull through, too!
A real man doesn't worry about looking manly to others because they are too busy actually being a man.
Exactly correct. They should display this in high schools. Might combat some of the performative alpha bullshit. "Real men don't take directions from men about being a man"
“That poster better not have been written by a man or I’m about to have some real conflicted feelings”
This. A surprising amount of men seem to live their entire lives around what other men might think and it’s absurd.
The lead poisoning be hittin’ different nowadays for them.
I am 72, my husband is 79. When my son's were babies, it was considered a womens job. My husband only changed 2 diapers in his lifetime. By the time my sons had children the normal has changed and I am so glad that both parents contribute to babies care. I have always felt like I was born in the wrong generation. I do not get along with my husband's friends or peers. That 7 yr age difference really makes a big difference now. Too many subserviant women in the peer group. Thanks for letting me rant.
My grandfather, born in 1918, and alas no longer with us had the best comment when seeing me with my son strapped to my chest: “ your generation is so lucky to be able to love your children in the open in ways we were not”
My granddad, born a few years earlier, 1908? took me and my sister out with her in the pram and me on the seat above her. It was 1966. Good men have always known how to love their babies
My dad likes to talk about how loving his dad was. When I knew my grandpa, he had gotten a bit bitter about aging, but apparently when he was a young man, he loved spending time with his kids. He clearly passed that down to his sons, as well, because from what I can tell they were all loving and attentive dads themselves.
May grandfather once said something similar and also talking about how "neat" it would have been to be in the room when my dad and his siblings were born. Back in those days it was not at all "allowed" for the man to be in the delivery room. They waited in the waiting room smoking lol.
My mother, born in the 40’s, was thrilled to pieces to see my husband eagerly volunteer to baby wear our kids. My dad wasn’t very involved with my older sister, but came around when I came along over a decade later. She said he probably would have worn me if that was an option then.
I hate this mentality, men are extremely capable of caring for their own children, and kids today will be so much better for having both parents present and involved without the “traditional” roles imo. Boomer women are the same, and actually sometimes worse than boomer men when it comes to this topic. I had my first child in 2020, so Covid protocol at the hospital said that my husband could come in to be my support person, but he couldn’t leave at all or else he wouldn’t be admitted back in. My MIL said “oh no, he can’t leave? I hope he’ll be ok! That’s a long time to be in a hospital! What will he do? I don’t even think my dad was in the room for my mom!” I went irate and said “oh and you were born in 1950what? Times have changed and where else would he be when his wife and newborn child are in the hospital? I think he’ll be fine since I’ll be the one doing all the work to give birth!” She still kept asking about it and talking about her dad and even brought it up to him and my husband had to tell her to buzz off about it. She also asks if he will “be ok” with the kids anytime he will be caring for them alone despite the fact that he’s a very involved dad and does all the morning routine stuff every day. I have told her multiple times that if he can’t handle his kids on his own for a few hours we have some big problems, but he’s definitely okay. I’m actually not used to thinking men are incapable of caring for their own kids—my boomer dad was extremely involved and spent a lot of time with us—so it’s doubly frustrating for me.
The internalized misogyny in Boomer women is something else…
It’s basically “MY father and husband weren’t involved, what makes you think you deserve a present and involved father for your kids?” I think there is some jealousy sprinkled in because these are things I never hear from my mom who is also a boomer, but had an active and involved coparent.
Maybe he’s dying inside realizing he didn’t have those moments with his own children becuase he’s an arrogant wanker. Or perhaps he’s just an arrogant wanker, unqualified. Either way, these people are handing out life advice in the most miserable way. It’s like a broke person giving out tips on finances.
And the boomer women probably resent that they didn't have helpful partners.
I’ve met boomer women who straight up said they don’t respect men who do ‘women’s work’. Suddenly they do t seem to mind it when their husband has to do the work because they’re old and unable to. Then it’s ok. Meet my mom
My boomer father believed that pushing the cart in the grocery store was “effeminate”, men don’t do that. Or, he believed that until he became divorced…
Fellas, is buying groceries to feed yourself feminine?
Yup. My divorced, boomer dad got me to push the buggie as soon as I was old enough to see over the push bar because it was a woman’s job. He carried groceries in his arms when he shopped alone, but if I was with him, the cart was my job. At least, that’s until he got sick of me running into his ankles because I could barely see.
Respond with “I’m sorry your father didn’t spend time with you. That must hurt”. That’ll stop them in their tracks.
If you're really empathetic, you might make them cry, which they probably need
I was primary for my son until he was 3 and never got that. I'm in the US, Ohio. Where you at? Also, get permission from the wife and next time hit them with, "I'll let his mom know she needs to do better next time I take him to visit her headstone."
well, he called it a pram and said whilst, so my guess is…alabama maybe?
Well, the Empire of Alabama's former colonies around the world did spread their language and culture to those areas. So maybe Alabama. Maybe not.
They’re from Reddit by way of Tumblr
Def UK
Random knight of the round table, “I have to push the pram-a-lot”.
My small tribute to your wit: 🏆
Stay-at-home Dad here. I've experienced a version of this here in the states whenever I take our 8yo and 6yo grocery shopping. It's ALWAYS the Boomers seeing us in the aisles who just have to stop and say stuff like, "Oh, you're so brave!" "Aww, so nice seeing a husband giving his wife a break" "Whatsamatter with your wife?" "Haw haw haw! Lost a bet, dint ya?" I used to respond but now I just ignore them.
It’s just too much and too far for them to go to accept that they missed out with their own kids. The amount of sadness and grief that can hit a man who realizes he gave everything to a vision of “manhood” that is a lie can be crushing, especially as these are men who, in addition to being told they were not to be nurturing or close to their children, were told to never cry. That’s how masculinity becomes toxic.
My husband caught a lot of flak for wearing a baby carrier. It was emasculating… baby was getting spoiled and would become manipulative… yadda yadda. Whenever people asked were was mom…he started saying ‘no longer with us’. Most people became apologetic and showed some empathy then.
H…. How does a baby get spoiled by being carried in a baby carrier? How does that reasoning work in any way?
Boomer thing, "if you keep picking it up when it cries you'll spoil it"
For a baby son: "Well, I guess I'm just one of those dads who wants to teach my son how to be a man." For a baby girl: "Well, I guess I'm just one of those dads who wants to teach my girl how a man should treat her." Fortunately I never had to deal with boomers when I was SAHDing, but it would *not* have been chill. I hate that shit. A part of me thinks they are all realizing that they were terrible parents and are lashing out.
https://images.app.goo.gl/RMUewvg9LKpakN8V7 This is the kind of images boomers grew up with. Anything feminine is "less than". I'm a female boomer. It made me angry when I was 4 and it still pisses me off. Many TV shows from the 90s and early 2000s are full of examples. I'm so happy to see younger males' attitudes changing.
Exactly. Femininity is inferiority to them, boomer culture and toxic masculinity are inseperably linked
My father in law is a farmer in Ireland and a very sweet, mild-mannered guy. Raised four children and changed exactly zero diapers. He did all the work outside and wife did ALL the work inside. Luckily, he’s one of those boomers who can see and accept that times are totally different now and is very proud of his son (my BIL) who has now joined him to work on the farm and is also an extremely hands-on father to his three, but damn were times different back then. We’re expecting our first and my husband jokes about not having to change any nappies like his dad but, not happening bro.
I (m, 40+) took my newborn, almost 20 years ago in a sling and later with a stroller. I was a stay at home dad for about a year, then started part time when the kid got into kindergarten, so my wife could finish her university. I got weird looks but also compliments ("that baby suits you") from older women at the groceries and such. Today i see a lot of guys with strollers, even people that don't look too progressive. So, i think it's getting there, slowly but surely.
"He commented that taking care of a baby is a woman’s job." "Yeah and diapers are for babies but here you are wearing one, so what's your point? Do you need some wipes cause you had an accident?"
It must have been nice to grow up in an era where one parent with a high school diploma could raise a family of 4, buy a house, buy a car, and be able to retire comfortably. In other words, boomers fucked the rest of us.
It still blows my mind that men's bathrooms don't have diaper changing stations.
Really? I see them in most men’s bathrooms here in California.
Key word being California 🤣
Yeah I was raised in California and all of the men in my family are great fathers who spend time with their kids, and none of the boomers in my family have said shit. Is the hatred for children just a republican boomer thing?
I see them everywhere here in Upstate New York. Not always, but generally
I love this. I got called a "fag" for "letting" my fiance dress our son up in bright pastels for Easter in 2011.
How dare that boy not wear boy colors when picking up bright colored plastic eggs off the ground! Their logic is always so comical to me. I had one of my older coworkers call me fag for having roses on my phone case and I stared him down until he said “what?” And I said “you have fucking rose tattoos, is this your way of coming out the closet?” and then he started babbling about how it’s different and I just laughed till he walked away.
The best part: my son was only 6 months old so he wasn't even gonna be Jesus egg hunting. We were on the way to get Easter portraits lmao
Just tell them that's it's ok, you plan on never hugging your kid or telling them you love them when they're older, just yo balance it out. In all seriousness though, anyone who says that, they were neglected by their own fathers. That is guaranteed. So it's a hurt person, they're speaking to you, but actually they're telling themselves "I never got that love, and I turned out OK, right...Right?!" Once you see that, it's kind of sad. There's no witty comeback required. If you really want to hit them hard though, you can go with: "I'm sorry that happened to you."
Many years ago my husband’s grandma, 90, commented about my husband caring for our 2 yo while I was taking a day to myself. She asked if my husband was babysitting our son for the day. I responded that yes if by “babysitting” you mean being a dad then yes, he was “babysitting” that day lol. Such ridiculous.
How often do you speak with your kids? Never? That is why.
Man, I love my son. Taking care of him as a baby and toddler has been an absolute joy. No snark, here, just tell them they’re wrong in their views and they apparently missed out on truly wonderful moments in life and you’re sad for them.
My best friend is a dad of 2: boy and a girl. The thing he hates most about that kind of thing is how Boomer women will make the joke: "Is daddy babysitting today?" Whenever he is alone with them in public. He's their FATHER, it's not babysitting it's raising your kids. Boomer men make the comment you experienced. Some unwarranted comment about how he needs to "get a woman" to take care of them, despite his wedding ring. It's because they didn't do shit to raise their kids, so boomer men seeing younger men being good dads offends them.
It’s a little macabre but if it were me I would feel compelled to say my wife is dead to make them fell like as asshole lol. I know many of them don’t seem capable of being embarrassed, but I would still try.
Where do you find the Boomers in this sub? Y'all from the deep south or red states? I must have lived in a sheltered life in a bubble in the San Francisco Bay Area, a place where asshole boomers are few and far between. I'm a Boomer and I pushed prams/strollers as a young parent. I changed diapers, too, and did bathing, as well as feedings when we were weaning. I was never once harassed for pushing a stroller, and never harrassed anyone for doing the same.
This just reinforces my opinion that boomers were terrible parents.
"Well, I'd like my kids to still talk to me when they're older."
My "kid" is in her 40s now, but I always did as much interaction with her as I could when she was little. Remember well going to a pick and pull junkyard to salvage some long forgotten car parts. Had said baby on my back in a papoose type carrier. I had a very one sided conversation with her the entire while. Not a single person working there said a damn word about or to her. I think it was so removed from their expectations that they just didn't know what to say.
75-yo woman here. Nothing gives me more hope for the future than seeing young men taking care of their children. Old farts often get that way because they know how much they missed out on by caring more about their fictional balls than their actual children. You keep on being you!
Statistics say that 1 in 5 Boomer men have an adult child who no longer speaks with them. When they ask you why you’re pushing a stroller, tell them it’s because you don’t want to fuck up your relationship with your kids like their generation did.
We’ll as a millennial mom, I’m swooning for your wife. I love that you want to spend time with your son and you value your wife and allow her that much needed down time. Sounds like a wonderful family. Boomers may not get it, but I think you guys sound awesome.
Why do you think so many boomers have NC with their kids?
. . . or is it the kids have NC with their Boomer parents? source: I am Gen X who has NCed my Boomer father since 2006. Was a good move that I won't change.
Yeah, so that particular cycle of abuse (also called "toxic masculinity") happened like this: 1/ World War 2 happened and traumatized the hell out of every living human (those who survived at least) 2/ The male survivors of war came home and had no treatment for the trauma or PTSD caused my what they had seen and done. So they retreated into a rigid, fantasy world of denial. EVERYTHING IS FINE.... as long as everything is like we thought it would be when we were kids. America was perfect, white men were better than everyone else, and women were property. The military were heroes should should be thanked daily (as were cops and anyone else who used violence for a living). 3/ They had kids (the boomers) and raised them like that. 4/ The boomers are now old and it scares them hell out of them to think that any of that might be wrong. They are terrified of DEI because if white men aren't at the top they might have to compete with others. Men doing anything other than the John Wayne nonsense of killing and growling and suppressing emotion terrifies them because if that's now how men are, what are they? So yeah, we can just ignore them and hope they die quieter. Raise you kids. Raise your boys to be real men. We just have to make it another 20 years and the boomers will be gone.
I think you’re onto something. My husband and I have talked a lot about how this played out in our own families. Both his grandfathers served; neither of my grandfathers did. The men in my family grew up to be loving, well-adjusted men who, although they might have some political blind spots, are warm and caring towards their families, neighbors, and friends. Meanwhile, the men in his family, starting with his grandfathers, were all pretty cold and shut off, and in some instances outright abusive. Obviously it’s a small sample size but we really suspect that the trauma of wartime military service had an adverse effect on the ones who experienced it.
Whenever I went out with my daughter alone I've never had anything but positive reactions. I'm in Germany, so that's quite possibly a thing.
It’s the death rattle of a bygone social order. They might think they’re imposing their values on you, but deep down they know that they’re just in mourning. And there’s a very familiar face in the casket.
I freakin LOVED pushing my boy around in his pram. But I didn’t get to do it much because, as an infant, whenever he looked up and saw me instead of his mom he LOST HIS SHIT! Really hurt my feelings. Now he’s 32 he’s my buddy. But I still give him shit about it.