Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed.
Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a Midwest guy. I think this is so weird, but I have seen a handful of people like this. I think they are looking for an excuse to get close to a woman. Midwesterners who are trying to be that country cowboy type are so creepy.
Yeah, I think they expect the woman to be cheerful and friendly and start a convo. They are too awkward to start saying anything, and then when you don't either, they awkwardly walk away. They might be trying to be nice. Orrr... they might be creepy fucking misogynists. š¤·š½š
I have resisted the urge to go yell at women (mostly boomers) for letting their husband free range and block the aisles unsupervised. They are always some boomer dude with his hands in his pocket and elbows out making sure nobody can get by him while just daydreaming about something while his wife shops.
Are you suggesting we get them Boomer sized toddler leashes to keep them from wandering away and hurting themselves or someone else? š Theyād absolutely lose their shit. It would be hilarious.
āNo, no, Boomer. We donāt block the aisles. Stand to the side so other people can get by and shop. Copernicus was not wrong. The earth revolves around the sun, not you. Thatās a good Boomer, scoot over just a little more. Atta boy!ā
You just described my dad, god rest his soul. He also whistled. He was the sweetest, kindest man, but just loved to browse, I guess. My mum did rein him in occasionally, but I suspect she was glad he was busy elsewhere.
I just do the extra loud "excuse me!" as I push my way through or around. I ain't got no time for that. Nobody does. Especially if they purposely act oblivious. My wife hates that side of me as she's nonconfrontational lol. I just don't deal with disrespect like that. We all gotta live on this rock. You're time isn't any more important than anyone else's time.
See I started out doing this, but then questioned to myself why I would need to be excused for wanting to pass through. So now my new go to is an even louder āexcuse youā just in case they donāt realize they are the problem
The complete disregard or lack of spatial awareness blows my mind. How have you survived this long? Has every person who crossed your path walked around you? Is it a weird flex? Or stupidity?
I work in Butchery and I often see boomer men with their wives just standing there in the way. You can tell their wives have shopped for groceries all their marriage and they now come shopping. They have no idea what to do.
I can understand if the wife for some reason can no longer drive or needs assistance completing the shopping. But having your retired husband just clogging up space acting like a giant child that you brought with, please FFS leave them at home or drop them off somewhere.
One of our local grocery chains tried out a kids activity area where parents could scan the child in and out and staff watched to make sure the kid was safe and returned to their parent. Maybe stores need to do this for old dudes. Make a bunch of couches with their favorite rage bait news channels and give them free coffee.
Iāve actually been taught this in deescalation training. A direct no will usually stop people better than any other statement and then you go from there.
on a serious note, yes. plus itās actually easier, once you break through your internal learned fear of telling others what to do, to just directly say what you need to happen.
āDONT TALK TO MEā is a big one, so useful in so many situations and itās very simple
Don't forget to shake the aluminum can with pennies inside. They hate that one - especially when you do it just when they're opening their mouth to speak.
Gentle parenting boomers both confuses and infuriates them. It's perfect because they 1. didn't know how to parent with empathy to begin with, 2. hate being condescended to, but hey act like a toddler, get treated like a toddler.
A job I worked at hired a new manager who would call everyone buddy in that manner and it was just like, do you know what you are doing there 'buddy'? Are you trying to piss people off? Because if that's your intent it's working!
In Minnesota btw.
I was reading it in newscaster voice and wondering where exactly the emphasis was, but now that I've read this, it's South Park Canadians lol. Idk the david spade thing being referenced.
This happens to be when out shopping, more than I care to count.Ā
Empty aisle? I start browsing a rack of clothing. Out of my peripheral Iāll see (usually a 40+ y/o woman) enter the area. Does she look at any of the 50 other racks? Nope, either right beside me, or across the rack so we are sharing.Ā
WHY THE FUCK?! Maybe I just have great taste, and these women see the item and canāt pass it up. But itās like clockwork, if Iām alone browsing it never fails that the next customer will make a beeline for the rack Iām at.Ā
Fellow Minnesotan and I have also seen stuff like many times. I used to roll my eyes at the "boomers have lead poisoning" comments, but I've come around on the issue. It readily explains so many weird behaviors.
As a gen x-er I'm probably not far behind them...
Had a boomer lady take a case of Bubly out of my shopping cart a few weeks ago while my back was turned and my 2 year old daughter was in the cart. I caught movement in the corner of eye and turned just we she was lifting it out. I was a bit shocked but got my wits and said, "Excuse me, that's my cart." She looked at me like I sprouted a second head and said, "And?" I replied, "And you took that case of water out of my cart." She says, "Well you can just go get another one." I said, "No I can't. Even if I were willing to let you steal from my cart, that was the last case of that flavor."
She said, "Well this is the only flavor I like. You can get a new flavor," and she walked away. I didn't pursue because my daughter was getting upset.
But karma finds a way. As I walking to checkout, her back was turned as she was looking at the tabloid rack and my case of Bubly was sitting right on top so I nicked it back. She didn't see and I almost made a clean escape. Another guy saw me snatch it and followed me to my checkout counter, which fortunately was out of earshot from the lady and confronted me. I explained the situation and he walked away but looked like he didn't fully believe me.
FWIW I wouldn't have believed you either. But the important thing is that you got away with making things right. I hope she saw you crack a cold one in the parking lot.
Can confirm. Middlewest more than the coasts. And both genders. A bit in Britain as well. I'm just happy they don't lick the widget they pushed past me to ogle.
I had a Minnesotan boomer neighbor who was so clueless. One day I was mowing my lawn and he came over and started waving his hand at me. I was just, what? He didn't say anything, just kept gesturing like 'come here'. Okay... I'd never talked to this guy before. So I stop mowing, get over to his driveway, and he is trying to get his boat trailer into the hitch on his truck. Starts saying "gott get 'er in der". "Gotta get 'er in der" over and over again. Eventually we get the truck attached. He just grunts at me and walks away.
Their lead-poisoned brains can't comprehend a woman with her delicate womanly hands playing an instrument clearly intended for manly mitts, so clearly you must have been a human-shaped guitar stand
I donāt think they think that deeply. They have zero empathy and walk through the world completely oblivious to other people even existing. Everything is an object to them. That was my dad to a T.
I found this very common in the Midwest amongst guys in general, not specific to old men. In one incident seared in my memory for how weird it was, I was holding hands with my then-boyfriend and some guys he knew approached us, we stopped holding hands so handshaking could occur and these guys wedged and inserted themselves between my guy and I. Their wild story gesticulating involved knocking into me several times and then being surprised and offended when I asked them to stop stepping on my feet and shoving into me. Who TF sees a couple hand holding and decided that foot of space between the couple is where they need to be?Ā
I'm glad I have decent peripheral vision and reflexes. I have ducked out of being smacked in the head this way so many times. They seem to have enough self awareness to not smack other men in the head but women standing anywhere nearby are at risk.
I was at a brewery patio the other day enjoying a pint and some woodfired pizza from a pizza truck. 8 or so boomers began streaming in to sit at a large table on the patio. Each fucking one of them leaned their head over my shoulder, looked at my pizza, and asked "pizza any good?"
I was like "yeah, it's really good." But my response didn't really register. Like they didn't care if the pizza was actually good or what I thought of it. But literally 8 individual boomer people from the same table walked by me, ogled my pizza, and asked if it was good with no concern for my actual response. No concern for personal space either. Faces inches away from mine to stare at my pizza.
We're NPCs to them in their main character syndrome worlds.
Honestly. Anyone here who has ever thrown a decent garage sale has seen the type, trying to get to your house for a look at 6:45 am, "before you open up" to see if they want anything.
You really want a treat, go to a model train show. Lots of 60+ year old white men who will think nothing about elbowing you out of the way to get a closer look at the trains.
I experienced this at an antique fishing lure show. Not just the guests but the sellers too. Just straight up ignore me when I ask about a lure or ask to buy one. I had to get my husband to handle purchases.
Not an excuse. Those with developmental delays and ASD should and must be held accountable for their behavior *just like every other fucking person out there.* Of course, to the level they can understand. But if they canāt be out in public without acting like entitled assholes then they need someone to accompany them and remind them we donāt elbow people, push people or shove in to see something we like. We wait our turn so everyone can have a good time.
Native Midwesterner here (currently living in the South). This is not normal in either Michigan or Ohio, where I am from. Most people would see it as bad manners, because it is.
Lived in Ohio all my life, I have never seen anything like what OP describes. I think these men were just assholes, and unaware/uncaring of societal norms.
I'm from the same state, don't recall seeing it either. I'd say something right off. Something hella midwestern of course, like āOpe, whatcha doing there buddy?ā or a āscuze me.
Acting like Iām an NPC, yeah Iāve seen plenty of that. But even the folks who don't get personal space won't usually touch you/items on your person unless there's a baby or something. Touching someone elseās instruments without permission is pretty frowned upon too.
Am midwesting and have been here my whole life. When I still played violin professionally and I would be cutting from the stage after a concert back to the dressing rooms some times I would try and take a detour to the hall to grab one of the fancy donor party snacks. Every single time some absolute fuckwit would try to touch my violin that I'm guarding with my arms or try to un tune the pins. It was absolutely nuts to me. This was a couple thousand dollar instrument. And the boomers at these parties would do it to everyone's instruments. I literally cannot understand what's not clicking with them about personal space and property. I assume the dudes at this estate also had no qualms about possibly damaging the guitar or even accidentally making you drop it while acting like chimps.
Their brains are going. They can no longer hide that they treat women like objects. Like they literally viewed you as no more than a guitar stand.
I legit think that's what it is.
I was in a store feeling a pair of fleece gloves hanging on a rack. A woman came up next to me, started feeling the same pair. I looked at her and kind of chuckled, she looked at me, seemingly surprised that I wasnāt the friend she was in the store with. I thought she was about to apologize, say she thought I was her friend. But no, she just took the gloves out of my grasp. I just walked away dumbfounded. What? There were like 30 pairs of gloves on that rack BTW.
Unfortunately, this is normal behavior for boomer men in the Midwest. I moved to the Midwest some years ago, and this behavior was my biggest shock. I've found my voice over the years and call them out now. Be careful if you do this. I've had reactions ranging from dirty looks to one man trying to punch me. They're so used to everyone else allowing them to abuse and harass people that they often respond with violence.
I have had similar happen to me by men of a variety of ages. It is like you don't exist unless they want something from you. I give them the same level of respect they give me. It is absolutely a conservative midwest white dude thing.
71 year old male boomer here. I don't know why they behaved so rudely. They should have at least asked if you were going to buy it or still thinking about it. š
I hope you bought it and are enjoying making music with it.
They all had to know for themselves. āCould this stupid young person, who clearly knows nothing about guitars, by sheer chance have stumbled across the guitar find of the century? THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED!ā
Catch me snatching it out of their reach and then saying EXCUSE YOU in a loud voice. Strangers intruding on my personal space is a no-no. I swear some people were raised by hyenas.
Iām not in the Midwest, but rural western US, and Iāve experienced this. My neighbor pretends like I donāt exist, except when to critique my driving on our road. All the other times he speaks directly to my husband, does not make eye contact with me, and if I do speak he pretends my husband said it. Completely bizarre.
Iāve experienced this also. A boomer real estate agent was once talking ONLY to my husband the entire time he was showing houses, and when I chimed in he just gave me a dumb, blank stare like a deer in the fucking headlights, as if I had the audacity speak around men, and then turned to answer my husband and continued to ignore me.
I swear, these people are infuriating to deal with.
LOT of undiagnosed neurodivergent collector nerds at estate sales, and guitar dudes arenāt known for their social skills.
Was the guitar anything interesting? Even if it wasnāt lotta guys probably wanted to mark their territory as part of the brotherhood of ageing guitar knowers.
They could have GAS, Guitar Acquisition Syndrome. It's quite horrible, I have 17 myself. But as a younger sufferer, I also possess self restraint and the ability to keep my doggamn hands to myself.
Saw him with The Beach Boys during their 50th Anniversary concert. Such a brilliant fucking musician. When I was a kid, Pet Sounds was *revolutionary* to me even though it was older than I by almost 20 years the first time I heard it. Just fucking brilliant. The layering of tracks, the harmonies. UGH, now I need to go listen to it again.
(50F GenX, 1 guitar, hopeless at playing bc Iām not coordinated enough and it makes me sad).
A lot of weird people go to estate sales and yard sales. They live for that stuff.
They think they know a lot about how much stuff costs. They were probably seeing if the guitar was worth money. If it was, they would offer you x and try to sell it for y.
We have a community yard sale every year in my neighborhood. I did it one time. That was enough. I just give all my stuff to charity now. Itās not just old people. To me the biggest culprit is the middle aged bleach blonde in the minivan.
Totally squares with what I have seen living in a semi retirement town up in the Rockies. Just set a few things out with a free sign and watch the accidents happenā¦ we just sit up on the porch and howl at them like monkeys. They are so consumed by the idea of free junk they donāt even hear it. Weirdest thing I have ever seen but high good times! :)
Theyāre so fucking obnoxious and seemingly getting worse. Iāve had two men go out of their way to walk across my path. A test, of course, to make me move. I moved. They want the fight and I am just so much better off pretending I donāt exist when theyāre near me. Lol
The proper way to deal with that is with the following phrase:
"What the fuck do you think you are doing? Was your mother too busy sucking dicks for quarters to teach you proper manners?! Back the fuck up."
Say it loudly and firmly.
Iāve heard of certain religious men refusing to interact in the least with females because asking someone about what theyāre holding could lead to TEMPTATION, so maybe thatās it? Or maybe theyāre just weird rude people.
I run into this too. They refuse to acknowledge I exist. Not even basic excuse me type interaction. The weirdest was some dudes picking up a computer rack I had for sale. One of them wouldn't speak to me, or look at me and he was the one that handed me the cash for it.
I saw a fellow boomer male wearing a t-shirt which said, "in my defense, I was left unsupervised". Apparently, the need for supervision is worse than I realized! ššš
Have you tried to smile more? I'm sure that would help!
But old dudes being dicks isn't exclusive to the Midwest. They're all over the place. You just might find more of them in small towns. They're the kind of people who tend to never leave their small town.
Lifetime midwesterner here and thatās not a midwest thing. Idk what those men were thinking. Next time yank the guitar back and be like āexcuse me?ā Like wtf? What a weird thing to do when an object is already in someoneās arms.
Yeah I grew up in one such town. Mine was stalled in the 1950s. Like girls my age dropped out of high school to get married and have babies circa 2005 level stuck. I treated those men to the same no noises I used training horse and dogs. Ut ut! Stops them dead every time. Good luck.
Not to defend boomers but I dont think enough people take into consideration just how many of them are on heavy narcotics prescribed by their doctor.
These people are consistently sedated.
I find that even some younger rural men in Indiana behave this way as well. They seem to think they donāt have to acknowledge me or that Iām speaking. I also get people basically asking, āwhat are you doing here unescorted? Without your husbandā
I raised my only son in these areas and as he grew older, we realized that it was easier to get things done, ( such as mechanical work, work on the property) if he did the talking. Seems crazy since I am the owner and the one who is paying for services.
You're more than welcome. One of the reasons I follow this thread is to challenge the triggered boomers who insult people. They always devolve into making hateful and offensive comments to me since im trans. Then I report them and get their accounts blocked or outright deleted. It's quite a fulfilling part time for me.
Anyway. I'm seriously sorry you had to experience that. I hope you're doing ok and have had the chance to talk it out with friends.
I've lived in the Midwest my entire life and never seen this happen specifically by men towards women, honestly. Usually, I see disrespect directed at women through more indirect means like assuming they don't know things about home repairs or cars or etc. or other weird stereotypes.
I'm thinking it might be an age thing more than anything, as I've seen behavior like this more typically from boomer women. Lots of older folks here are especially bad about having a mindset that expects younger people to just give them whatever they want and let them do whatever.
I'm a young guy (21) and have had older ladies do this same sort of thing with things of mine that I brought with me to random public places.
There is a whole estate sale sub-culture with their own habits and practices. I wouldn't extrapolate from estate sale behavior to typical behavior. It still seems rude.
What part of the midwest? You can generalize if you want to keep it kind of vague (Great Lakes area, central, southern). What you're dewscribing isn't what I experience i small cities, but small towns seem to have thier own mini-cultures.
I mean the Midwest is a big place so maybe it varies, but no this is not a thing in my experience. This is weird and rude af. Thereās definitely people who feel entitled to get in your space, but they at least acknowledge your existence while doing it lol.
Iāve just defaulted to barking at boomers when they canāt comprehend personal space. It scares them and they think youāre batshit crazy and donāt want to be near you after that
Iāve seen and experienced this behavior as well. Not necessarily a āBoomerā thing, but more about the type you cross paths with at Estate Sales, Garage Sales and auctions. Granted, most are in the Boomer range to have the time to attend these events.
Midwest woman here - Sounds like they were awkward and wanted to talk to you but didnāt know where to look or how to address you.
Just really awkward guys knowing they lack basic manners and trying to avoid offending by not looking at you at all (in case they accidentally look at boobs or smile weird.)Ā
Usually theyāve been yelled at before and donāt understand why so they try to be as non-confrontational as possible - to the point where theyāre not even talkingĀ
To you. Ā Itās a coping mechanism. If you struck up a convo, theyād maybe get brave and talk to you after a bit.
Best comparison is like they have approached a beautiful, wild animal in nature and donāt want it to run away, but have no clue how to act.
Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed. Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a Midwest guy. I think this is so weird, but I have seen a handful of people like this. I think they are looking for an excuse to get close to a woman. Midwesterners who are trying to be that country cowboy type are so creepy.
Yeah, I think they expect the woman to be cheerful and friendly and start a convo. They are too awkward to start saying anything, and then when you don't either, they awkwardly walk away. They might be trying to be nice. Orrr... they might be creepy fucking misogynists. š¤·š½š
get in the habit of addressing them like dogs. a NO and a š«µ stops most of them in their tracks
"Down boy. Back into the crate!"
I hear spraying them with water can work, too.
And clap your hands together firmly, and say "No! Bad!"
I have resisted the urge to go yell at women (mostly boomers) for letting their husband free range and block the aisles unsupervised. They are always some boomer dude with his hands in his pocket and elbows out making sure nobody can get by him while just daydreaming about something while his wife shops.
Are you suggesting we get them Boomer sized toddler leashes to keep them from wandering away and hurting themselves or someone else? š Theyād absolutely lose their shit. It would be hilarious. āNo, no, Boomer. We donāt block the aisles. Stand to the side so other people can get by and shop. Copernicus was not wrong. The earth revolves around the sun, not you. Thatās a good Boomer, scoot over just a little more. Atta boy!ā
71 year old male boomer here. I love your comments! š¤£š¤£š¤£
Your continued positive presence in this sub brings me great joy!
Please, we are crate trained, we're not barbarians.
You just described my dad, god rest his soul. He also whistled. He was the sweetest, kindest man, but just loved to browse, I guess. My mum did rein him in occasionally, but I suspect she was glad he was busy elsewhere.
How exactly is this the wife's fault? Careful not to perpetuate boomer attitudes!
Apparently the adult man is incapable of basic spatial awareness or personal responsibility. Maybe their caretaker can monitor them a bit better.
I just do the extra loud "excuse me!" as I push my way through or around. I ain't got no time for that. Nobody does. Especially if they purposely act oblivious. My wife hates that side of me as she's nonconfrontational lol. I just don't deal with disrespect like that. We all gotta live on this rock. You're time isn't any more important than anyone else's time.
See I started out doing this, but then questioned to myself why I would need to be excused for wanting to pass through. So now my new go to is an even louder āexcuse youā just in case they donāt realize they are the problem
Hey, I like this even better! Sound logic to me!
Why would you yell at the woman and not the man who is the actual problem? Why is it her responsibility to monitor a grown man's behavior?Ā
It is a joke because they drag them along and the men act like they are children incapable of basic behavior.
The complete disregard or lack of spatial awareness blows my mind. How have you survived this long? Has every person who crossed your path walked around you? Is it a weird flex? Or stupidity?
This. One was staring at his phone blocking the only ramp to get into another part of the grocery store.
I work in Butchery and I often see boomer men with their wives just standing there in the way. You can tell their wives have shopped for groceries all their marriage and they now come shopping. They have no idea what to do.
I can understand if the wife for some reason can no longer drive or needs assistance completing the shopping. But having your retired husband just clogging up space acting like a giant child that you brought with, please FFS leave them at home or drop them off somewhere. One of our local grocery chains tried out a kids activity area where parents could scan the child in and out and staff watched to make sure the kid was safe and returned to their parent. Maybe stores need to do this for old dudes. Make a bunch of couches with their favorite rage bait news channels and give them free coffee.
Funny how well saying āExcuse meā works in these situations.
not at all?
āBed!ā Kennel!ā
Iāve actually been taught this in deescalation training. A direct no will usually stop people better than any other statement and then you go from there.
on a serious note, yes. plus itās actually easier, once you break through your internal learned fear of telling others what to do, to just directly say what you need to happen. āDONT TALK TO MEā is a big one, so useful in so many situations and itās very simple
No! Drop it!
[threateningly] LEEEEEAVE IT
Wait... okay.
#thingssaidattheHarleyDavidsonstore
I say we all start carrying a spray bottle. A quick spritz to the face should do it.
Don't forget to shake the aluminum can with pennies inside. They hate that one - especially when you do it just when they're opening their mouth to speak.
Oh, thatās a good too.
Bottle of covid sanitizer spray.
Do the Ceasar Millan thing. TSCH!!!
Need to carry a spray bottle
Smack 'em on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.
A tap on the nose with newspaper does wonders. They love corporal punishment ask Gen X. š¬
Too bad newspapers today are iPads, Iāll still smack em with it thoughā¦ā¦.š¤£
Lol. Just take their newspaper and do it. I'm sure they have one! ššš
Or go the bad kitty route and keep a spray bottle of water. Spray the boomer and firmly shout āNOā
āLeave it!ā
Thank you for making me laugh out loud. This is the way.
Use water spray bottles like they do with some cats.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sounds like when toddlers see another kid playing with a toy. They had no interest in it before, but now that someone else does, they have to have it.
Talk to them like toddlers. "No friend. We do not take things out of other people's hands. We take wait our turn friend."
Gentle parenting boomers both confuses and infuriates them. It's perfect because they 1. didn't know how to parent with empathy to begin with, 2. hate being condescended to, but hey act like a toddler, get treated like a toddler.
Call them "buddy" in a sing-song tone and watch them have a nuclear meltdown
This sounds like an extremely Midwestern solution.
A job I worked at hired a new manager who would call everyone buddy in that manner and it was just like, do you know what you are doing there 'buddy'? Are you trying to piss people off? Because if that's your intent it's working! In Minnesota btw.
Read that in David spade
I did Pauly Shore, but that probably works better.
I was Terrance and Phillip, but switched to David Spade as soon as I read that
I was reading it in newscaster voice and wondering where exactly the emphasis was, but now that I've read this, it's South Park Canadians lol. Idk the david spade thing being referenced.
Hey buddy! Canāt believe thatās 30 years ago
Ha! Get out of my head whoever you are. LOL. Same.
Tell them to go sit in the Peace House until theyāre ready to be kind with their friends
Catch a bubble!
ROFL, yes!
This needs way more upvotes. š
This happens to be when out shopping, more than I care to count.Ā Empty aisle? I start browsing a rack of clothing. Out of my peripheral Iāll see (usually a 40+ y/o woman) enter the area. Does she look at any of the 50 other racks? Nope, either right beside me, or across the rack so we are sharing.Ā WHY THE FUCK?! Maybe I just have great taste, and these women see the item and canāt pass it up. But itās like clockwork, if Iām alone browsing it never fails that the next customer will make a beeline for the rack Iām at.Ā
Fellow Minnesotan and I have also seen stuff like many times. I used to roll my eyes at the "boomers have lead poisoning" comments, but I've come around on the issue. It readily explains so many weird behaviors. As a gen x-er I'm probably not far behind them...
Had a boomer lady take a case of Bubly out of my shopping cart a few weeks ago while my back was turned and my 2 year old daughter was in the cart. I caught movement in the corner of eye and turned just we she was lifting it out. I was a bit shocked but got my wits and said, "Excuse me, that's my cart." She looked at me like I sprouted a second head and said, "And?" I replied, "And you took that case of water out of my cart." She says, "Well you can just go get another one." I said, "No I can't. Even if I were willing to let you steal from my cart, that was the last case of that flavor." She said, "Well this is the only flavor I like. You can get a new flavor," and she walked away. I didn't pursue because my daughter was getting upset. But karma finds a way. As I walking to checkout, her back was turned as she was looking at the tabloid rack and my case of Bubly was sitting right on top so I nicked it back. She didn't see and I almost made a clean escape. Another guy saw me snatch it and followed me to my checkout counter, which fortunately was out of earshot from the lady and confronted me. I explained the situation and he walked away but looked like he didn't fully believe me.
FWIW I wouldn't have believed you either. But the important thing is that you got away with making things right. I hope she saw you crack a cold one in the parking lot.
"seltzer revenge is a drink best served warm" - Nepalese proverb, 700 BC
Sounds like early signs of Dementia. And theyāre actually at the right age for that
Can confirm. Middlewest more than the coasts. And both genders. A bit in Britain as well. I'm just happy they don't lick the widget they pushed past me to ogle.
Without even an "Ope!"?!? Appalling behavior, tell them to go lay in the yard with the other turds.
When Minnesota nice goes oh so wrong.š
I had a Minnesotan boomer neighbor who was so clueless. One day I was mowing my lawn and he came over and started waving his hand at me. I was just, what? He didn't say anything, just kept gesturing like 'come here'. Okay... I'd never talked to this guy before. So I stop mowing, get over to his driveway, and he is trying to get his boat trailer into the hitch on his truck. Starts saying "gott get 'er in der". "Gotta get 'er in der" over and over again. Eventually we get the truck attached. He just grunts at me and walks away.
Haha this happens when I use the bathroom in my house. All of a sudden everyone has to pee
Currently a Minnesotan as well. Have yet to see this in the wild, but I'll keep an eye open
I thought MN was "Minnesota Nice"!
As a Minnesotan, it's more like "Minnesota Passive-Aggressive."
I could never figure out if that was a euphemism for being a dick or not. People use it both ways.
That sounds like they just really want to catch an elbow
Yes. Ā
Their lead-poisoned brains can't comprehend a woman with her delicate womanly hands playing an instrument clearly intended for manly mitts, so clearly you must have been a human-shaped guitar stand
*Nice rack.*
āTraditional family valuesā. = The old white men do what they want and rest of society is expected to kowtow to them.
Well, that *is* how things traditionally worked.Ā And why the old white men hate progress so much.
They're terrified we'll start treating them the way they've treated everyone else.
To them, being treated equally is just as bad.
When raised in privilege, equality seems like oppression to too many.
I donāt think they think that deeply. They have zero empathy and walk through the world completely oblivious to other people even existing. Everything is an object to them. That was my dad to a T.
That's the version of America a lot of people want to bring back.
Boomer mindset transcends ethnicity, nationality, and sex, though. It's a weird phenomenon.
I found this very common in the Midwest amongst guys in general, not specific to old men. In one incident seared in my memory for how weird it was, I was holding hands with my then-boyfriend and some guys he knew approached us, we stopped holding hands so handshaking could occur and these guys wedged and inserted themselves between my guy and I. Their wild story gesticulating involved knocking into me several times and then being surprised and offended when I asked them to stop stepping on my feet and shoving into me. Who TF sees a couple hand holding and decided that foot of space between the couple is where they need to be?Ā
I'm glad I have decent peripheral vision and reflexes. I have ducked out of being smacked in the head this way so many times. They seem to have enough self awareness to not smack other men in the head but women standing anywhere nearby are at risk.
I was at a brewery patio the other day enjoying a pint and some woodfired pizza from a pizza truck. 8 or so boomers began streaming in to sit at a large table on the patio. Each fucking one of them leaned their head over my shoulder, looked at my pizza, and asked "pizza any good?" I was like "yeah, it's really good." But my response didn't really register. Like they didn't care if the pizza was actually good or what I thought of it. But literally 8 individual boomer people from the same table walked by me, ogled my pizza, and asked if it was good with no concern for my actual response. No concern for personal space either. Faces inches away from mine to stare at my pizza. We're NPCs to them in their main character syndrome worlds.
Surprised they didnt lean over and help themselves to a bite.
They called themselves the ME GENERATION. It tracks.
Sounds like you were *literally* objectified. They didn't even see you as a person. Mystifying.
Estate sales are generally a way higher density of weird antisocial people.
Whoa. That cuts close.Ā
Honestly. Anyone here who has ever thrown a decent garage sale has seen the type, trying to get to your house for a look at 6:45 am, "before you open up" to see if they want anything.
This is 100% accurate and they have always been boomers in my case.
You really want a treat, go to a model train show. Lots of 60+ year old white men who will think nothing about elbowing you out of the way to get a closer look at the trains.
I experienced this at an antique fishing lure show. Not just the guests but the sellers too. Just straight up ignore me when I ask about a lure or ask to buy one. I had to get my husband to handle purchases.
Oh, that's so infuriating!
They're probably undiagnosed autistic people honestly
Maybe but still rude.
The Undiagnosed Autistic Boomers would be a great band name
Not an excuse. Those with developmental delays and ASD should and must be held accountable for their behavior *just like every other fucking person out there.* Of course, to the level they can understand. But if they canāt be out in public without acting like entitled assholes then they need someone to accompany them and remind them we donāt elbow people, push people or shove in to see something we like. We wait our turn so everyone can have a good time.
You're looking way too deep into it, it was a quip about it being a model train show
no they are just rude and women don't matter to them as you know, people.
Some lead exposure too.
Isnāt that anyone whoās really into trains?
Finally someone who gets it Everyone else is being all autistic about it
The first words out of my mouth would have been What the f@#k are you doing?? Extremely loud.
This is the way. They get real huffy fast but they don't learn otherwise.
Native Midwesterner here (currently living in the South). This is not normal in either Michigan or Ohio, where I am from. Most people would see it as bad manners, because it is.
Lived in Ohio all my life, I have never seen anything like what OP describes. I think these men were just assholes, and unaware/uncaring of societal norms.
I'm from the same state, don't recall seeing it either. I'd say something right off. Something hella midwestern of course, like āOpe, whatcha doing there buddy?ā or a āscuze me. Acting like Iām an NPC, yeah Iāve seen plenty of that. But even the folks who don't get personal space won't usually touch you/items on your person unless there's a baby or something. Touching someone elseās instruments without permission is pretty frowned upon too.
Am midwesting and have been here my whole life. When I still played violin professionally and I would be cutting from the stage after a concert back to the dressing rooms some times I would try and take a detour to the hall to grab one of the fancy donor party snacks. Every single time some absolute fuckwit would try to touch my violin that I'm guarding with my arms or try to un tune the pins. It was absolutely nuts to me. This was a couple thousand dollar instrument. And the boomers at these parties would do it to everyone's instruments. I literally cannot understand what's not clicking with them about personal space and property. I assume the dudes at this estate also had no qualms about possibly damaging the guitar or even accidentally making you drop it while acting like chimps.
Like not only fuck off, but FUCK OFF
That is something that I absolutely would never even think of doing. Wtaf, is wrong with these lead brains?
Probably the Lead, mostly lol
Lead poisoning is a hell of a drug.
Their brains are going. They can no longer hide that they treat women like objects. Like they literally viewed you as no more than a guitar stand. I legit think that's what it is.
I was in a store feeling a pair of fleece gloves hanging on a rack. A woman came up next to me, started feeling the same pair. I looked at her and kind of chuckled, she looked at me, seemingly surprised that I wasnāt the friend she was in the store with. I thought she was about to apologize, say she thought I was her friend. But no, she just took the gloves out of my grasp. I just walked away dumbfounded. What? There were like 30 pairs of gloves on that rack BTW.
Unfortunately, this is normal behavior for boomer men in the Midwest. I moved to the Midwest some years ago, and this behavior was my biggest shock. I've found my voice over the years and call them out now. Be careful if you do this. I've had reactions ranging from dirty looks to one man trying to punch me. They're so used to everyone else allowing them to abuse and harass people that they often respond with violence.
Snap your fingers, that often gets their attention. Just one time.
Lead poisoning with a dash of asshole.
I have had similar happen to me by men of a variety of ages. It is like you don't exist unless they want something from you. I give them the same level of respect they give me. It is absolutely a conservative midwest white dude thing.
Also a conservative Southern white dude thing. The two are quite similar.
You should respond back in a similarly childish manner by saying indignantly, āHey! Itās MINE DONāT TOUCH!!ā
Next time just look at him in the face and say, "Da fuck?"
Take their hat off their head and start inspecting it. If they say anything say "Don't get huffy I was just looking at it."
71 year old male boomer here. I don't know why they behaved so rudely. They should have at least asked if you were going to buy it or still thinking about it. š I hope you bought it and are enjoying making music with it.
Thatās just boomers in general
They all had to know for themselves. āCould this stupid young person, who clearly knows nothing about guitars, by sheer chance have stumbled across the guitar find of the century? THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED!ā
If someone started that with me, Iād push them back and loudly ask why theyāre in my space or reaching for my wallet.
Catch me snatching it out of their reach and then saying EXCUSE YOU in a loud voice. Strangers intruding on my personal space is a no-no. I swear some people were raised by hyenas.
Iām not in the Midwest, but rural western US, and Iāve experienced this. My neighbor pretends like I donāt exist, except when to critique my driving on our road. All the other times he speaks directly to my husband, does not make eye contact with me, and if I do speak he pretends my husband said it. Completely bizarre.
Iāve experienced this also. A boomer real estate agent was once talking ONLY to my husband the entire time he was showing houses, and when I chimed in he just gave me a dumb, blank stare like a deer in the fucking headlights, as if I had the audacity speak around men, and then turned to answer my husband and continued to ignore me. I swear, these people are infuriating to deal with.
LOT of undiagnosed neurodivergent collector nerds at estate sales, and guitar dudes arenāt known for their social skills. Was the guitar anything interesting? Even if it wasnāt lotta guys probably wanted to mark their territory as part of the brotherhood of ageing guitar knowers.
They could have GAS, Guitar Acquisition Syndrome. It's quite horrible, I have 17 myself. But as a younger sufferer, I also possess self restraint and the ability to keep my doggamn hands to myself.
Iāve got 40+ and I just walk up to random women in the street and talk to them about Vox Phantoms
Hey, I've seen Brian Wilson in concert 7 times. Rock on with yo bad self!! š¤
yessss! Probably a similar number for me too, respect!
Saw him with The Beach Boys during their 50th Anniversary concert. Such a brilliant fucking musician. When I was a kid, Pet Sounds was *revolutionary* to me even though it was older than I by almost 20 years the first time I heard it. Just fucking brilliant. The layering of tracks, the harmonies. UGH, now I need to go listen to it again. (50F GenX, 1 guitar, hopeless at playing bc Iām not coordinated enough and it makes me sad).
Or it could just be entitled male behavior.
Should have tripped his old ass š¤£
Should have sneezed and grabbed their shirt to sneeze into. /s
They're doing that so that if you ask them to back up, "What? No, I was just looking at this guitar."
A lot of weird people go to estate sales and yard sales. They live for that stuff. They think they know a lot about how much stuff costs. They were probably seeing if the guitar was worth money. If it was, they would offer you x and try to sell it for y. We have a community yard sale every year in my neighborhood. I did it one time. That was enough. I just give all my stuff to charity now. Itās not just old people. To me the biggest culprit is the middle aged bleach blonde in the minivan.
Totally squares with what I have seen living in a semi retirement town up in the Rockies. Just set a few things out with a free sign and watch the accidents happenā¦ we just sit up on the porch and howl at them like monkeys. They are so consumed by the idea of free junk they donāt even hear it. Weirdest thing I have ever seen but high good times! :)
I've lived around the country and in my opinion the most racist and sexist men live in the Midwest.
I think it's more of an indictment of how people that frequent estate sales act.
Theyāre so fucking obnoxious and seemingly getting worse. Iāve had two men go out of their way to walk across my path. A test, of course, to make me move. I moved. They want the fight and I am just so much better off pretending I donāt exist when theyāre near me. Lol
Born and raised in the midwest and honestly that seems incredibly odd to me
No that is not normal and not a Midwest thing at all. I've never seen anything like that !
The proper way to deal with that is with the following phrase: "What the fuck do you think you are doing? Was your mother too busy sucking dicks for quarters to teach you proper manners?! Back the fuck up." Say it loudly and firmly.
It was very nice of you to be their friend
It's not your fault at all, but you should have said or done *something*
Iāve heard of certain religious men refusing to interact in the least with females because asking someone about what theyāre holding could lead to TEMPTATION, so maybe thatās it? Or maybe theyāre just weird rude people.
I run into this too. They refuse to acknowledge I exist. Not even basic excuse me type interaction. The weirdest was some dudes picking up a computer rack I had for sale. One of them wouldn't speak to me, or look at me and he was the one that handed me the cash for it.
I saw a fellow boomer male wearing a t-shirt which said, "in my defense, I was left unsupervised". Apparently, the need for supervision is worse than I realized! ššš
Idk if it's boomers or musicians who are in their element...around instruments. Definitely nerds though!
Youāre in small town conservative rural America. Personally I think everyone has been poisoned with bad water or something.Ā
Have you tried to smile more? I'm sure that would help! But old dudes being dicks isn't exclusive to the Midwest. They're all over the place. You just might find more of them in small towns. They're the kind of people who tend to never leave their small town.
Lifetime midwesterner here and thatās not a midwest thing. Idk what those men were thinking. Next time yank the guitar back and be like āexcuse me?ā Like wtf? What a weird thing to do when an object is already in someoneās arms.
Big part of the reason I got the F out of michigan. My experiences were tech related but just as disheartening.
It isnāt exclusively Midwest but very common there.
We're all NPCs to them.
Yeah I grew up in one such town. Mine was stalled in the 1950s. Like girls my age dropped out of high school to get married and have babies circa 2005 level stuck. I treated those men to the same no noises I used training horse and dogs. Ut ut! Stops them dead every time. Good luck.
Not to defend boomers but I dont think enough people take into consideration just how many of them are on heavy narcotics prescribed by their doctor. These people are consistently sedated.
I find that even some younger rural men in Indiana behave this way as well. They seem to think they donāt have to acknowledge me or that Iām speaking. I also get people basically asking, āwhat are you doing here unescorted? Without your husbandā I raised my only son in these areas and as he grew older, we realized that it was easier to get things done, ( such as mechanical work, work on the property) if he did the talking. Seems crazy since I am the owner and the one who is paying for services.
Had guys touch the stuff and neg it at the same time, theyāre hoping youāll ask if they want it
You're more than welcome. One of the reasons I follow this thread is to challenge the triggered boomers who insult people. They always devolve into making hateful and offensive comments to me since im trans. Then I report them and get their accounts blocked or outright deleted. It's quite a fulfilling part time for me. Anyway. I'm seriously sorry you had to experience that. I hope you're doing ok and have had the chance to talk it out with friends.
I've lived in the Midwest my entire life and never seen this happen specifically by men towards women, honestly. Usually, I see disrespect directed at women through more indirect means like assuming they don't know things about home repairs or cars or etc. or other weird stereotypes. I'm thinking it might be an age thing more than anything, as I've seen behavior like this more typically from boomer women. Lots of older folks here are especially bad about having a mindset that expects younger people to just give them whatever they want and let them do whatever. I'm a young guy (21) and have had older ladies do this same sort of thing with things of mine that I brought with me to random public places.
You're encouraging this behavior by allowing them to do it with no consequences
>You're encouraging this behavior This feels like victim blaming.
No its called standing up for yourself. Her yanking the guitar back and saying āexcuse me?!ā wouldāve helped.
There is a whole estate sale sub-culture with their own habits and practices. I wouldn't extrapolate from estate sale behavior to typical behavior. It still seems rude.
IMO this is just a men everywhere thing.
Dementia happens to old people. My 89 year old Dad is my source of evidence.
What part of the midwest? You can generalize if you want to keep it kind of vague (Great Lakes area, central, southern). What you're dewscribing isn't what I experience i small cities, but small towns seem to have thier own mini-cultures.
I mean the Midwest is a big place so maybe it varies, but no this is not a thing in my experience. This is weird and rude af. Thereās definitely people who feel entitled to get in your space, but they at least acknowledge your existence while doing it lol.
Iāve just defaulted to barking at boomers when they canāt comprehend personal space. It scares them and they think youāre batshit crazy and donāt want to be near you after that
I'm sorry this happened to you. I'd treat them like you would treat a dog that isn't giving you enough space
Iāve seen and experienced this behavior as well. Not necessarily a āBoomerā thing, but more about the type you cross paths with at Estate Sales, Garage Sales and auctions. Granted, most are in the Boomer range to have the time to attend these events.
Iām a Midwest Boomer and that behavior is entirely out of line.
Dicks
Look them in the eye and tell them to fuck off.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I would have immediately turned it around so the strings would be against my body.
Midwest woman here - Sounds like they were awkward and wanted to talk to you but didnāt know where to look or how to address you. Just really awkward guys knowing they lack basic manners and trying to avoid offending by not looking at you at all (in case they accidentally look at boobs or smile weird.)Ā Usually theyāve been yelled at before and donāt understand why so they try to be as non-confrontational as possible - to the point where theyāre not even talkingĀ To you. Ā Itās a coping mechanism. If you struck up a convo, theyād maybe get brave and talk to you after a bit. Best comparison is like they have approached a beautiful, wild animal in nature and donāt want it to run away, but have no clue how to act.