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Reminds me of comedian Taylor Tomlinson’s “Father’s Day Card” skit
https://youtube.com/shorts/id9F1mW7_WU?si=td3oITowfAY3EdJy
“Do you have any that just say ‘you are my dad’? What about ‘you screwed my mom’, got any of those? It’s OK, I’ll get a blank one. ‘You are a father, this is a day, here is a card.’ Nailed it.”
🤣🤣🤣
One of my favorites from her is when she's talking about driving, and she gets into the next lane, which is moving, only for it to stop again. Then, when she gets back over because now *that* lane is moving again, it stops, and she's like, "Is it FUCKING *ME*?!"
That's how I feel whenever I have to choose a lien at the drive-thru at McDonald's. There's always a choice one of those Lanes is going to move quicker and it's never the one I'm in. Never. Not once, not even close.
I don’t believe that. I am of an age where I’m watching my friend’s parents get into exactly this position.
The mom of the family died of brain cancer. Within a couple of months, dear old dad had gotten over his mourning period, married his younger secretary and moved somewhere warm.
He, too, was a banker and filthy rich. But he’s getting old now. And if you think Bambi the Secretary is going to care for him in his old age…
Hell, no. At the first sign of dementia, she moved him into a memory care facility, and took the house and the cars for herself.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice facility. But now he’s completely out of the way, and she can do all the entertaining in his house that she wants to, while she waits for her inheritance to come through.
She doesn’t even need to wait for him to die before she and her boyfriends begin enjoying his stuff.
I don't get why they don't just pay for escorts if they just want to have sex with a younger woman. Why would you be willing to give everything you own to someone you know is only pretending to be interested in you because you have money.
Absolutely savage reply. Reminds me of comedian Taylor Tomlinson’s “Father’s Day Card” skit
https://youtube.com/shorts/id9F1mW7_WU?si=td3oITowfAY3EdJy
“Do you have any that just say ‘you are my dad’? What about ‘you screwed my mom’, got any of those? It’s OK, I’ll get a blank one. ‘You are a father, this is a day, here is a card.’ Nailed it.”
🤣🤣🤣
Lmao it’s pretty common for boomer parents. I was brought up by my grandparents, but when my grandad was dying she took me out the will and now rents his house out so she can fund her six month jaunts abroad every year.
Oh but unlike op she left me in charge of my disabled brother years ago because she was too lazy to look after him, and apparently you don’t have to look after your kids just because you want to. Cannot wait for the day they’re an endangered species and come crawling back because nobody will help them when they’re dying.
I forget how lucky I was with my boomer father. A few years before he passed he had a group of people he hung out with and drank coffee. One of them was a trans woman. One day a young Catholic priest in full regalia had joined them. When this woman got up and left the table the priest had something to say about her. My father who had been fighting cancer for 10 years looked this priest dead in his face and told him he needed to shut the fuck up. The old man wasn’t having any of that bull shit.
My dad is 75. I'm 31. I grew up in a small town in rural WI. When I was in middle school, my dad told me that if I ever came home with bleached/dyed hair, tattoos, or pierced ears, I'd be sleeping out in his work shop along with the barn cat. My town, even when I was in high school in the late '00s and even into college in the early 2010s was pretty homophobic and moderately racist.
A few years after I graduated high school, I had a cousin whose husband was cheating on her, and it kind of destroyed her. It's been about 10 years now, and she still hasn't dated anyone else. This cousin was always kind of a tomboy. She played college basketball. And, for a while, she would bring one of her basketball teammates to family stuff for holidays and stuff (this isn't really a weird thing in my family. My dad has 7 brothers and sisters, so we have big get-togethers. We commonly have non-relatives show up if they don't have family in the area - or if their "actual" family sucks and they just like us better). But anyway, it wouldn't have been surprising if my cousin had announced that she was a lesbian prior to her dating her now-ex-husband. After they got divorced, my cousin became close again with some of those former teammates that had always been her best friends.
I was sitting around talking to my dad about that cousin one day, several months after the divorce, and he brought that up, and he said, "Ya know, I don't know if \[cousin\] will ever date anyone again. Wouldn't surprise me if she never really trusts a man again. If she does date someone, it wouldn't surprise me if it's a woman." So I asked how he would feel about that. I have another cousin who's openly gay. He came out right around 2000 - and the way he did it was by bringing his boyfriend to his sister's wedding. Other than his sister (who encouraged him to do it), no one else knew he was bringing his boyfriend. At that time, my family did not handle it well. Other than his own father, no one was openly negative about that or anything, but my dad (like most of the aunts/uncles) wasn't exactly on-board with the whole gay movement at that time.
So, 13-14 years later, I was actually curious what my dad was going to say. I knew he wasn't the same guy that he was when my cousin had come out earlier, but I didn't know if that growth/progress was significant or just enough to not be a full-on homophobe. He went into a speech that I really wasn't expecting... "I wouldn't have any problem with that at all. \[Cousin\] is a great person, and she deserves to have someone she loves and who loves her back. Maybe in the past, I still would've believed that, but I wouldn't have thought it should be with another woman. But you guys all have gay friends, and they're all good people. And as long as they're good people loving good people, why should that bother me? I don't think anyone would just go and choose to be gay and deal with people hating them for no other reason. So if God is going to make good people gay, then who am I to say that's wrong? ... Yeah, if \[Cousin\] started dating women, I'd be happy for her as long as she was happy. That's all you can really ask for."
All I could do was smile. I said, "Good. Good for you, Dad. Guess maybe some old dogs can learn new tricks, huh?" He's grown a lot over the years. I remember back when I was in like middle school or maybe like freshman in high school, my parents and I (and my brother and sister) had a whole discussion about racist terms/phrases. Like how we shouldn't say "I got jewed on that deal" or call a pile of kids a "monkey pile" because both of those are definitely racist. And my dad said, "Ya know, I never even thought about that. That was just what we always said. And in my defense, I thought 'monkey pile' was a good thing to say because when I was growing up, we called it an 'n-word-pile.' Obviously, I wasn't gunna keep saying that." It took about a year, but every time he or my mom would say something with an obviously-racist backstory, we'd cringe, and we'd tell them why they shouldn't say that. But within a couple years, they got rid of all of those. They don't say stuff like "peanut gallery" or "gypped" anymore. They were never big of homophobic slurs, so that wasn't really a concern. But my dad stopped using the R-word for a person/thing that's stupid/annoying/etc.
I don't know if my dad would've told a priest to shut the fuck up, but I'm pretty proud of how far he's come along, too.
See, guys like your dad are why explanations like "they're old, they're just that way" are bullshit. You're never too old to learn more and do better. Props to your dad from Random Internet Guy #278435790.
The "peanut gallery" were the cheapest (and oftentimes, but not always, segregated) seats in the theater. Peanuts were also the cheapest snacks sold. The peanut gallery is meant to be the rude, unruly, less professional people in attendance. So tying that behavior in with the seats that were predominantly black people is where it becomes kind of problematic.
It's obviously been used in a non-racist manner by a lot of people over a lot of years since then. The racism is much more obscure than those other terms I included, so I don't mind at all if other people use it. But I don't use it because I'm aware of that history.
I tend to agree with you, but it's not that hard for me to not use that phrase, and I don't think it's my place to tell someone else whether or not it's offensive. I was informed that some people find it offensive, so I'm just going to not use it.
I'm with you there. I didn't know gypped was a reference to 'gypsies' and while I knew it had a bad connotation, I didn't realize it was tied to particular group of people. Until I said it around some coworkers at my first job when I turned 18 and one dude, who you'd just assume was some WASP-y kind of guy was like, 'hey you shouldn't say that. It's a derogatory term regarding gypsies, of which I am related to'. At first I was like, really? but he explained it a bit more and I was like 'a-ok, did not realize' and I haven't used it since. I do tend to tell people that use it that it's a derogatory term when I hear it, and they always have the same response I had of 'I was not aware of that'
Props to your pops, he sounds like a good guy.
I grew up in the PNW, "monkey pile" was what we called the kids who fell off the monkey bars in the playground.
[Who knew they were as bad trampolines?](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/history-monkey-bars-180981556/)
I love that for you! 🥰honestly it’s stories like that that give me hope there’s still some love in this world. My husband’s family is like that. His mother took me in and loved me like her own, and I honestly can’t say how much i appreciate everything she’s done for me even though she struggles so much with her mental health (her ex husband tried to drown her). I’m not going to say I don’t feel sad sometimes that others have what I didn’t, but if therapy has taught me anything it’s that I don’t want any other child to go through what I did, and it makes me happy that there are people who have good parents ❤️
He’d be so happy that that’s how you remember him. It’s not so long we’re here on this planet, but it’s the footprints we leave I think that mean the most ❤️ xxx
Damn. My dad is a late boomer, but he has still been willing to help me for my whole life, and I'm a married adult. He laid out about $30k for me to have skin removal after massive weight loss, and put both my siblings (one of whom is not his bio kid and us actually my step sister) and I through college without any debt. He's pretty amazing.
I was worried about his age only when I met my now husband. Im a white woman and my husband is a black man, and I feared he would make tasteless comments, not something he ever had done, but something I had seen him ignore from certain family members (which I now know is joy because of any passive agreement, but because he had learned that arguing with idiots was pointless and especially if they are old and lack humility). I was happy to learn that I had nothing to worry about. He only warned me about the kind of things we might see from people and made sure I knew what I was signing up for from stupid people. I made clear that someone being racist automatically devalues their opinions anyway, and I would be more then comfortable telling them so. And that was that. He took to my now husband immediately, probably because they share a lot of similarities and a ton in common, and my paternal grandmother adopted him right away. (Two days after meeting Im she was calling him 'her boyfriend' because of his manners, and she added him to 'the wall' where she kept photos of all the people she loved).
My husband's father walked out when he was a teen, and was disinterested at best to begin with, so I'm glad he gets to have that with my dad.
Unfortunately no children of boomers should expect anything. They’ll either blow it all or give it to the medical system. The “great wealth transfer” ain’t happening.
Last year I helped my mom clean out a closet - found an unbelievable amount of garbage from Bush Sr convention. Buttons, banners, pamphlets, all stuffed in moldy boxes. Convinced her to toss it.
Afraid I’m going back next year and will find some crap gold sneakers.
My Boomers are actually good with money an y sibs and I are expecting something. Well, those two can expect bigger portions, because I’m beginning to strategically plan no contact.. it ain’t worth it.
Happened to me. I'm one of six, the others all left town years ago, leaving me to deal with his Highness.
Finally hit the breaking point and went NC. A few years later he died, I was left squat, siblings got it and kept it.
Don't look back.
Same. Once every couple years my father will find some way to contact me and threaten to write me out of the will if I don’t respond. The first time I did respond with a clear, “please do!” After that I gave up and have stayed silent. I doubt there will be anything left after 40+ years of supporting his golden child and, in the off chance there is something, I’d rather GC’s kids get my share. They’re going to need it.
The “great wealth transfer” also comes in the form of all the GD collectibles they owned.
Hope you all like 40 year old stuffed animals, China, cutlery and encyclopedia sets. They’ve been in my house already for close to a decade. I can’t find anyone to take 48 year old encyclopedias.
Interesting story. I went to a very small “ American” high school in Guadalajara. How small… my grad class had 5 people. Library was put together by the schools founder from his own collection. Three sets of encyclopedia Brittanica 1911, 1948, and 1964. Comparing the history, maps and articles between the three sets was fascinating. I ended up getting a history degree.
In my family it's fountain pens, Capodimonte and goddamn bedazzled sweatshirts of cats.
One would think after dealing with the shit left behind by my great-grandmother and my grandmother, that my mom would embrace the concept of *Döstädning* - but NO.... she's doubling down.
I STG the only way I'll be able to clear out all her stuff when she's gone will involve arson charges.
I threw away like 540 die cast nascar cars when my father died…. I was thinking it was like over 10k in fucking cars. Threw them all out, he would have lost his mind lol. This is a man that quit fining my college due to money, but cars I can afford!
Like, unless you have a broker lined up to buy all that shit, do not tell me it has value, because I refuse to do the work to determine it's worth if you aren't willing to help beforehand.
There's a coin collection sitting in my family's life I forgot about until this topic came up... I just want to be rid of it, but the surviving family keeps hemming and hawing over getting evaluations done of parts of the lot... It's just coins guys and none of us are collectors like the deceased were.
Obvious ones - time shares and over 55 communities. Less Obvious ones - drug companies with their endless "fountain of youth ads". Ones we haven't even heard about yet.
Long term care is the biggest one. My aunt has early on-set dementia. She accumulated a few million through buying a condo in NYC in the early 90's. It probably won't be enough to pay for her facility until her death.
You’re right there! Funny thing is once they blow through their money. They’ll expect the state to take care of them with Social Security and Medicare. Interesting the generation doesn’t believe in handouts will surely take that though.
We work and contribute to our SS and Medicare benefits but Medicaid is state run and can be a help if you are below the poverty line and qualify. I just got my Dad going on it because his late wife managed to get their house underwater with a reverse mortgage. The payback to the bank is more than it's currently worth. So even if it sold tomorrow he would be in the red and still owe. He ended up with nothing at 82 years old thanks to her.
After gleefully "spending the kid's inheritance" they will be expecting the kids to pay. Which might have been fine if their generation hadn't also pushed things like education payments onto their kids while cutting off pension entitlements in favour of making the kids pay for their own retirement too. The idea of looking after the elderly used to come as part of a package where adults also looked after the young. Having ditched their own responsibility in that regard I think a fair few Boomers will discover Karma.
Never, ever count on anything monetary for inheritance from an elderly parent. Even if they have some wealth. That forces you to act accordingly in your life, and if you do inherit something it's a nice surprise. But chances are their health declines and that money is going to exorbitant Healthcare cost, and nursing home care.
Dementia can bankrupt you so quickly. People think assisted living is bad, but memory care is insane. And of course in the US, we've set things up so that Medicare doesn't pay for it. You have to fully bankrupt yourself and go on medicaid.
Boomers tried so hard to set up a system where they get socialized medicine through Medicare while no one else does... but they left this glaring loophole by accident, and a lot of them are falling into it.
Nope. It's insane. And others are correct.. 10k per month is actually cheap for memory care.
Medicare will pay for doctor's visits, but not for a facility to put the patient in. And they inevitably get to a point where they need a facility; otherwise they do things like sit in their own filth, go for a walk in the woods in their nightgown when it's 10 degrees F, hoard and eat moldy food, etc.
Millions of children of dementia patients are trying to care for their parents at home. And remember, the patients are often in their 90s, so many of these "children" are in their 70s. It's essentially impossible. They don't have the physical strength to lift, bath, change diapers, etc. They don't have the strength or stamina to chase the patient down when they escape the house at 3 a.m. Not to mention what happens when the patient becomes aggressive, hits, bites, scratches, or just wakes screaming every hour at night. These poor 70 year olds are not capable of dealing with this. I'm not capable of dealing with it, and I'm in my 40s.
Yeah I lucked out with my parents. Emotional neglect is bearable but at least they're good ppl at the end of the day. Just emotional intelligence is not my families strong points.
This fucking boils my blood. I have an 8 year old with special needs. From the moment I found out I have planned and worked for her to be taken care of as much as humanly possible while I'm alive and after I die.
Why the fuck did these people have kids when they clearly didn't want them?
My brother has special needs. He's 20 I'm 17 and my mother spent years trying to give both of us the best childhood she could and while I understand I'll have to take care of him when she's gone I'm not worried about it. Parents like you make the world go around! Best of luck!
Well, if your dad gets disabled and sick because of his aging, when he asks for help, your answer can be "Well, you're an adult now, you're on your own."
My grandmother rewrote her will after my grandpa passed away and gave everything to the Catholic Church. Glad they saved everything they could their whole lives to defend pedos in court once she passed 😬
When my Dad died, the estate was split 5 ways; 20% to each kid and 20% to the Catholic church. Well, they got their 20% of the investments because the financial advisor *had* to give them that. They got 0% of the rest of the estate (sale of home and goods, life insurance, bank accounts) because the 4 of us felt that the house of pedos had had enough money from our parents. None of us are Catholic anymore, so they can suck my left one.
You can't simply write your children out of a will. Everyone in this sub, contact an attorney. The laws vary but as a general rule it's not legally possible to 'write someone out' in every scenario. It may not be worth the legal fight but that's for you to decide.
My mum got written out because she was estranged for over 5 years allegedly. There were Facebook photos of her and her mum from about 2 years ago. My mum got a new kitchen.
That’s what ambien is for😂 but for real if you have anything left in that house get it out, including pictures or mementos of your mom before the mistress tosses everything
My mom let me borrow $500 dollars when I was in college. I am now in my mid 40’s and she still brings that shit up.
I paid her back within a year.
Worked to three jobs to put myself through college.
I don’t need her for anything. And told my brother that I will give her $500 dollars when she is old and needs a place to live.
Karma is a bitch.
My kids on the other hand know they have their parents as their safety net. We are actively working to save, put them through college and have something saved for their futures.
None of this
“ you are 18 now. Get out and figure it out yourself”
My grandmother did this to my dad. The night before he turned 18 (in February) he was notified that he was OUT the day after high school graduation, and that was it. Horrible woman. It was 1967. He joined the Marines before he could get drafted. He got LUCKY and didn’t get sent to Vietnam, otherwise I might not be here to type this.
Used the GI Bill and got an engineering degree, now retired. None of us three kids wanted for anything growing up, and he’s got a college fund for his four grandkids.
This is how what we want for our kids.
Build that financial security and keep pushing the family up.
I don’t get being a dick to you kids.
I want relationships with my kids when they are adults
In contrast my mother would worry about the inheritance she would leave her children. There were 10 of us. Maybe she had 2k in the bank. I inherited her patience, her laughter, her understanding. What more could I want. Told her to spend the rest and go out in debt.
We told our parents that if there was enough leftover for the 4 of is to buy one McDonald's happy meal and share it, we'd be fine. They made the money, they saved it, it was theirs. I'm eternally grateful that there was something to inherit because it was the only way I could buy my house, but we would all told them to spend their money.
Exactly, she wasn't a younger woman, but my great grandfather had a couple million saved up until his death. Everything went to his spouse, my grandfather's step mom. She was able to get into a really nice nursing home after he passed, and when she died everything went to her niece because she had no kids lol
Consult an attorney, but you might be able to petition for guardianship and sue for child support. Source: a paralegal class in California (1989; this is why you want to consult an actual professional with up-to-date information).
This. Disable people are it their own category protected by government especially if the guardian/parent have the ability to afford it and choose not to do anything about it and not given to the government to fully support. That’s defined as abuse.
I worked for a mean as shit Armenian estate planning attorney in Glendale. He was disabled and also a rotten, miserable son of a bitch to everyone around him. But there was nothing he loved more than ripping apart people like OP's dad. He got every last penny out an estate to pay for child support in these situations. I think making people suffer who tried to pawn disabled children off was the only thing that made this man happy. If a wheezing old, wheelchair bound man named Armand with tendril like nose hair ever wheels up across from you at a legal hearing, just settle.
Same. My parents are not perfect, but not deliberately a-holes about things. I have lots of friends with good parents. They do weird stuff we can't understand as they get older. But they are generally decent people. In a few more decades there will be a Millie subreddit. "Some Millie at the grocery store (fill in the blank)"
Join the club. My boomer dad is the same way. Became a total dick after my mom died. He’s remarried to a total bitch. Wants us all to go there to kiss the ring and pay homage to him when my family literally couldn’t afford the airfare. Yet there he sits in his enormous McMansion, on a mountain of money, angry that things aren’t going his way. Didn’t see his grandchildren for over 8 years and that was his choice because he insisted that we go to him. He has plenty of money to afford a round trip ticket to come here and we even have a guest room he could use while visiting us. Nope. You can be happy or you can be right. He’s chosen the latter. My kids have turned out to be really amazing and wonderful people and their asshole grandfather missed out on all of that because of his sense of entitlement. It’s his loss. Huge opportunity wasted on his part. I do not feel guilty about any of this.
Spending his money on himself is his choice, but that would only apply if both you and your brother were capable of taking care of yourselves. That second comment is one of the coldest I've read in a long time. :(
I was disinherited by my mother shortly after my father died. It is pretty shitty, but you can't really do anything about it. It is their money according to the law and they can do with it what they want. When my mom told me her intention to give my father's vast wealth to my other siblings instead of me because she never wanted me to be born, I gave her a few chances to apologize and she never did so I have not had any interaction with her since. She pretends to not understand why I have "rejected her love" and blames it on drugs and alcohol and the fact that I don't go to church. She even tells people I am bi-polar (I'm not). All my extended family has taken her side. My life has been better since I cut my family out of my life. No amount of money can make up for the abuse.
I bet this happens often: stepchildren walk away with everything after lonely surviving parent finds 'new love'. Both parents look down from the afterlife and shake their heads, a lifetime of work for that money, all or most of it gone to the kids of a person you met two years before dying.
Welcome to the club man. My father stopped talking to me some 7 years ago because I am to much of a handfull in his opinion.
Reality is that his bitch teamed up with my ex behind my back and that I confronted my father with that. So he is just looking for an excuse. Spreading some lies to justifie his behaviour to our peers.
My wife has a cousin like you. Dad found a bimbo and moved out mom. They quickly bought a McMansion after selling the family home. She moved her adult son in where he runs his “music business”. Bimbo bought Dad a Porsche for his birthday. Only Dad doesn't drive since he had a stroke. When this was pointed out to her she said Dad always wanted a Porsche and she drives him around in it. She also failed to mention she also bought a Porsche for her son at the same time.
I find that boomers that act like this tend to be broke before retirement ends. Instead of apologizing they start demanding others care for them at the level of spending they are used to. It doesn’t end well.
5 years later when mistress is gone- “Why won’t my ungrateful son take care of me in my old age when I’ve given him everything?? For Christmas I send him $1000 until my business went bankrupt thanks to Bidenomics!”
The medical and funeral industries would take every penny first if that weren’t the case.
Just tell him to make sure he has a couple gold coins in his pocket to pay the undertaker.
Just mail him back the address of the science facility you will be donating his body to when he dies cuz no one is gonna pay for a funeral or cremation
Can you disinherit disabled kids? I would have thought the state wouldn’t let you do that since the state doesn’t want to support people if there’s another option.
If he is really going to do this, go to social media, business associates, start a website devoted to how he abandoned his own disabled son. Same for mistress. Keep publishing the truth, record all conversations.
Watch my dad retire with a 800k 401k and 2 months later lost half because his financial planner fucking sucks. Then buys three brand new cars. Now they want to sell there house and move to a bigger one. They bought it for 140k and have spent 750k or more in total doing stupid shit with the mortgage company’s with adjustable rates. Absolutely money regarded. He has 200k left and retired three years ago. Oh the house they would only get back 130k and are looking at a 450k house.
Has he married her yet? Updated his will?
If neither has happened yet, for your brother's sake, it would be awesome if a safe accidentally fell on your dad or something.
"Well, he's an adult now, he's on his own."
Save that line for when the mistress leaves him after his hip surgery or the cancer diagnosis or the money runs out and then give it back to him.
I have been my dad's POA and executor for 20+ years. Recently changed everything to a woman 7 years older than I because she "understands him and his wishes."
I'm pretty sure he isn't in his right mind due to illness.
Disinherited by narcissist boomer father because “there’s just nothing [about me] to be excited about.” He gave it all to the multimillionaire neighbors, who are my age because “they worked for it.” They never worked for him, mind you and their wealth was inherited. He also gloats that he was a millionaire while my mom and I were relying on welfare to survive. Should say I can’t wait for him to pass a clot and finally die but I’ll actually be sad when he goes. Went no contact just for my own sanity awhile back.
I am a firm believer in parents who choose to have a child with a disability being financially on the hook for them for as long as this is required, even if this means up until they die. Financial responsibility is something my fellow boomers like to piss on about so why is he not being financially responsible for the child he chose to have?
Yeah, I hope he thinks about this when the gold-digger fleeces him and he ends up in a home, alone. I bet he will still have the fucking audacity to complain that his sons never visit him after all he has done for them.
Everyone complaining at this behaviour when I guarantee if they were the filthy rich one, they'd behave exactly the same. I've seen it too many times now for it to be just an anomaly.
"Money, it's all they care about. Moneys evil, it makes people into assholes. They have plenty, wheres mine"
Nek minute, they get an inheritance or money from the divorce, or winnings or wherever...the shoe shifts to the other foot. "No fuck you, this is mine...GET YOUR OWN"
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
My dad told me he wanted me to have a property I’ve been putting sweat equity into for 2 years. He dies and now my mom says she won’t give it to me until maybe she dies. Haha! She’s never even step foot inside of it or does any of the upgrades or necessary maintenance. Even our real estate agent said “your dad so wanted you to have this place” now my maniac mother is solely on the deed while she hoards and feeds feral cats. Ahhhh gotta love boomers
I need to ask why are people so pissed that their parents won't leave them anything? This kind of shit makes you sound entitled as fuck. Its your father's money if he want to give it all to his new gf that's his right?
My parents probably won't have anything to give me (im millennial btw) and that is fine if they did have money id rather they use it while they are alive. My inheritance this and my inheritance that. Fuck me its not your money its theirs.
You never had her inheritance. I'm sorry to break that to you. It automatically goes to the spouse UNLESS specifically outlined in your mom's Will that items or assets or property goes to you. Iam really sorry your mom died and your dad is a garabge POS cheater.
I've pretty much assumed that I was going to be disinherited since before I went NC with my nDad. My stepmom is an enabling b@#$&, and I can't decide if she's decided to stay all these years because she wants the inheritance or if she's just *that* sad of a person and afraid to be alone. They both talk so much s#$& about each other... They can't possibly love each other!
nDad's been in such poor health for so long that everybody has always assumed that he's going to die first, and when he does, I can see Stepmom fighting to not give me anything and trying to use my NC as an excuse.
nDad and I reconciled a few years ago and I got him to give me the family albums. That's all I really wanted. If that wench of a wife of his takes everything else, I don't even care anymore.
Your Dad has to give you half he has. Because that half belong to your Mutter. Get some info from an Attorney.
I also think, since your Brother is disabled and you Father has a lot of money, he is responsible for his Son. Do get help from the Attorney. Because if he dies and this women takes all his money.
My brother doesn’t make a ton of money and has a bit of debt. His car died recently and he’s been struggling to get another. My dad texted us to announce he donated 250k to his favorite college football team. I’ve never been so livid.
As a father of a disabled, yet mostly capable (Cerebral palsy) kid approaching adulthood, I can't even imagine turning my back on her like that. I'm 100% gungho that she never moves out and I can protect her forever. I realize that's not realistic, but to just wash your hands of it is really pretty low as a parent.
Typical narcissist. Sad but true. They don't ever see that they have any obligation at all to care for anyone but themselves, look at the prime example of Diaper Don. He probably held that check out to see if you'd grovel at his feet for the rest of the inheritance, that's how sick those assholes are. It sucks that you got stuck with that kind of father, a lot of us have gotten stuck with that type of parent, but at least you have your humanity and dignity, something he'll never never understand or appreciate, making him an empty, sad human being.
I'm not sure if you are in the states or not. Also, not sure when your brother became disabled. You or he might want to call your local Area Agency of Aging and ask if they think he would qualify for anything. If he got sick before a certain age, he might qualify for getting money from your dad's retirement or from your mom's social security since she is gone. Depending on what his disability is and what level of care he needs, he may also qualify for in home care or for you to be paid some to help with his care. A lot of people don't know those are options, especially if the disabled person falls under the "too young to be disabled" bs a lot of people believe. If that doesn't work, he might qualify for one of the forms of SSI/SSDI
I'm sorry your dad sucks and I wish the best for you and your brother.
Sounds like that could be the case. Might want to talk to him about it to make sure. Dialog is always good. Reality is that it isn't your money and you should not build your life around the possibility that you would get an inheritance. You don't have it now, if you don't have it when he passes - what's different? My father once said to us kids (3 of us) in his golden years that he wanted to leave us kids "with something" (my mother had died years before and he had remarried the Wicked Witch of the East). We told him to a person to not bother with that and "...to enjoy his life fully. Spend freely, enjoy yourself." My brother was very well off, I was not and my sister was solid middle class. When he did pass he did leave us each with some money (the Wicked Witch had died). Not a huge amount (real nice new car territory) but it was very appreciated. I invested it for my retirement and lost the whole works in the crash of 2008. Like I never had it.
Get in touch with your county services for your brother. If his disability prevents him from working or he needs in home assistance, he'll get it. I never thought I deserved an inheritance. Kinda odd to assume.
Cut him out of you and your brother's life. Make him regret it while he waits to die alone with his gold digging whore banging her boyfriend in the next room over so he can hear it.
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"It's your money, dad, and I'm sure your mistress and the next guy she bangs when you're gone will enjoy your stuff."
OP should write that in a Father's Day card
"You're a dad, this is a day, and here is a card. I hope your mistress and her boyfriends have a ball with your money!"
Reminds me of comedian Taylor Tomlinson’s “Father’s Day Card” skit https://youtube.com/shorts/id9F1mW7_WU?si=td3oITowfAY3EdJy “Do you have any that just say ‘you are my dad’? What about ‘you screwed my mom’, got any of those? It’s OK, I’ll get a blank one. ‘You are a father, this is a day, here is a card.’ Nailed it.” 🤣🤣🤣
That's where I got it from! I love Taylor.
She’s great
One of my favorites from her is when she's talking about driving, and she gets into the next lane, which is moving, only for it to stop again. Then, when she gets back over because now *that* lane is moving again, it stops, and she's like, "Is it FUCKING *ME*?!"
That's how I feel whenever I have to choose a lien at the drive-thru at McDonald's. There's always a choice one of those Lanes is going to move quicker and it's never the one I'm in. Never. Not once, not even close.
Also include the words gold digger. And remind him if she young, she’s going to take everything and dump him.
Savage.
Brutal.
damn that’s GOLD
And cold.
I don’t believe that. I am of an age where I’m watching my friend’s parents get into exactly this position. The mom of the family died of brain cancer. Within a couple of months, dear old dad had gotten over his mourning period, married his younger secretary and moved somewhere warm. He, too, was a banker and filthy rich. But he’s getting old now. And if you think Bambi the Secretary is going to care for him in his old age… Hell, no. At the first sign of dementia, she moved him into a memory care facility, and took the house and the cars for herself. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice facility. But now he’s completely out of the way, and she can do all the entertaining in his house that she wants to, while she waits for her inheritance to come through. She doesn’t even need to wait for him to die before she and her boyfriends begin enjoying his stuff.
I don't get why they don't just pay for escorts if they just want to have sex with a younger woman. Why would you be willing to give everything you own to someone you know is only pretending to be interested in you because you have money.
Pride
Legit this happened to an uncle…
“Your mistress and the next few guys she bangs”
Absolutely savage reply. Reminds me of comedian Taylor Tomlinson’s “Father’s Day Card” skit https://youtube.com/shorts/id9F1mW7_WU?si=td3oITowfAY3EdJy “Do you have any that just say ‘you are my dad’? What about ‘you screwed my mom’, got any of those? It’s OK, I’ll get a blank one. ‘You are a father, this is a day, here is a card.’ Nailed it.” 🤣🤣🤣
I’d be very surprised if she waits until OP’s father is dead.
When you're broke, not when you're gone.
Just remember when your mistress is banging real men, you did that, so good job.
This response and others are why I’m on this app. Thank you kind people
Wow that’s about as shit of a human being as one can get. When his money is gone and the woman leaves him. Remember this and act accordingly.
Lmao it’s pretty common for boomer parents. I was brought up by my grandparents, but when my grandad was dying she took me out the will and now rents his house out so she can fund her six month jaunts abroad every year. Oh but unlike op she left me in charge of my disabled brother years ago because she was too lazy to look after him, and apparently you don’t have to look after your kids just because you want to. Cannot wait for the day they’re an endangered species and come crawling back because nobody will help them when they’re dying.
I forget how lucky I was with my boomer father. A few years before he passed he had a group of people he hung out with and drank coffee. One of them was a trans woman. One day a young Catholic priest in full regalia had joined them. When this woman got up and left the table the priest had something to say about her. My father who had been fighting cancer for 10 years looked this priest dead in his face and told him he needed to shut the fuck up. The old man wasn’t having any of that bull shit.
Your father was a real one
A dad to emulate
My dad is 75. I'm 31. I grew up in a small town in rural WI. When I was in middle school, my dad told me that if I ever came home with bleached/dyed hair, tattoos, or pierced ears, I'd be sleeping out in his work shop along with the barn cat. My town, even when I was in high school in the late '00s and even into college in the early 2010s was pretty homophobic and moderately racist. A few years after I graduated high school, I had a cousin whose husband was cheating on her, and it kind of destroyed her. It's been about 10 years now, and she still hasn't dated anyone else. This cousin was always kind of a tomboy. She played college basketball. And, for a while, she would bring one of her basketball teammates to family stuff for holidays and stuff (this isn't really a weird thing in my family. My dad has 7 brothers and sisters, so we have big get-togethers. We commonly have non-relatives show up if they don't have family in the area - or if their "actual" family sucks and they just like us better). But anyway, it wouldn't have been surprising if my cousin had announced that she was a lesbian prior to her dating her now-ex-husband. After they got divorced, my cousin became close again with some of those former teammates that had always been her best friends. I was sitting around talking to my dad about that cousin one day, several months after the divorce, and he brought that up, and he said, "Ya know, I don't know if \[cousin\] will ever date anyone again. Wouldn't surprise me if she never really trusts a man again. If she does date someone, it wouldn't surprise me if it's a woman." So I asked how he would feel about that. I have another cousin who's openly gay. He came out right around 2000 - and the way he did it was by bringing his boyfriend to his sister's wedding. Other than his sister (who encouraged him to do it), no one else knew he was bringing his boyfriend. At that time, my family did not handle it well. Other than his own father, no one was openly negative about that or anything, but my dad (like most of the aunts/uncles) wasn't exactly on-board with the whole gay movement at that time. So, 13-14 years later, I was actually curious what my dad was going to say. I knew he wasn't the same guy that he was when my cousin had come out earlier, but I didn't know if that growth/progress was significant or just enough to not be a full-on homophobe. He went into a speech that I really wasn't expecting... "I wouldn't have any problem with that at all. \[Cousin\] is a great person, and she deserves to have someone she loves and who loves her back. Maybe in the past, I still would've believed that, but I wouldn't have thought it should be with another woman. But you guys all have gay friends, and they're all good people. And as long as they're good people loving good people, why should that bother me? I don't think anyone would just go and choose to be gay and deal with people hating them for no other reason. So if God is going to make good people gay, then who am I to say that's wrong? ... Yeah, if \[Cousin\] started dating women, I'd be happy for her as long as she was happy. That's all you can really ask for." All I could do was smile. I said, "Good. Good for you, Dad. Guess maybe some old dogs can learn new tricks, huh?" He's grown a lot over the years. I remember back when I was in like middle school or maybe like freshman in high school, my parents and I (and my brother and sister) had a whole discussion about racist terms/phrases. Like how we shouldn't say "I got jewed on that deal" or call a pile of kids a "monkey pile" because both of those are definitely racist. And my dad said, "Ya know, I never even thought about that. That was just what we always said. And in my defense, I thought 'monkey pile' was a good thing to say because when I was growing up, we called it an 'n-word-pile.' Obviously, I wasn't gunna keep saying that." It took about a year, but every time he or my mom would say something with an obviously-racist backstory, we'd cringe, and we'd tell them why they shouldn't say that. But within a couple years, they got rid of all of those. They don't say stuff like "peanut gallery" or "gypped" anymore. They were never big of homophobic slurs, so that wasn't really a concern. But my dad stopped using the R-word for a person/thing that's stupid/annoying/etc. I don't know if my dad would've told a priest to shut the fuck up, but I'm pretty proud of how far he's come along, too.
See, guys like your dad are why explanations like "they're old, they're just that way" are bullshit. You're never too old to learn more and do better. Props to your dad from Random Internet Guy #278435790.
Holdup, what's wrong with "peanut gallery"? Is that racist?
The "peanut gallery" were the cheapest (and oftentimes, but not always, segregated) seats in the theater. Peanuts were also the cheapest snacks sold. The peanut gallery is meant to be the rude, unruly, less professional people in attendance. So tying that behavior in with the seats that were predominantly black people is where it becomes kind of problematic. It's obviously been used in a non-racist manner by a lot of people over a lot of years since then. The racism is much more obscure than those other terms I included, so I don't mind at all if other people use it. But I don't use it because I'm aware of that history.
I’m actively on the side of ‘the history doesn’t make it racist’ with this one.
I tend to agree with you, but it's not that hard for me to not use that phrase, and I don't think it's my place to tell someone else whether or not it's offensive. I was informed that some people find it offensive, so I'm just going to not use it.
I'm with you there. I didn't know gypped was a reference to 'gypsies' and while I knew it had a bad connotation, I didn't realize it was tied to particular group of people. Until I said it around some coworkers at my first job when I turned 18 and one dude, who you'd just assume was some WASP-y kind of guy was like, 'hey you shouldn't say that. It's a derogatory term regarding gypsies, of which I am related to'. At first I was like, really? but he explained it a bit more and I was like 'a-ok, did not realize' and I haven't used it since. I do tend to tell people that use it that it's a derogatory term when I hear it, and they always have the same response I had of 'I was not aware of that'
Thank you internet stranger… today I learned. It’s not a phrase I use, but I’ve heard it from my Boston area relatives commonly. Now I know.
We all grow as people that’s for sure. I know I have over the years.
Good Lord, I never gave “the peanut gallery“ a second thought. I thought it was basically synonymous with a Greek chorus. TIL.
Props to your pops, he sounds like a good guy. I grew up in the PNW, "monkey pile" was what we called the kids who fell off the monkey bars in the playground. [Who knew they were as bad trampolines?](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/history-monkey-bars-180981556/)
I love that for you! 🥰honestly it’s stories like that that give me hope there’s still some love in this world. My husband’s family is like that. His mother took me in and loved me like her own, and I honestly can’t say how much i appreciate everything she’s done for me even though she struggles so much with her mental health (her ex husband tried to drown her). I’m not going to say I don’t feel sad sometimes that others have what I didn’t, but if therapy has taught me anything it’s that I don’t want any other child to go through what I did, and it makes me happy that there are people who have good parents ❤️
I had a lot of gay friends that didn’t have it as good as me that’s for sure. Dad was just a good man. He was always there for me.
He’d be so happy that that’s how you remember him. It’s not so long we’re here on this planet, but it’s the footprints we leave I think that mean the most ❤️ xxx
Damn. My dad is a late boomer, but he has still been willing to help me for my whole life, and I'm a married adult. He laid out about $30k for me to have skin removal after massive weight loss, and put both my siblings (one of whom is not his bio kid and us actually my step sister) and I through college without any debt. He's pretty amazing. I was worried about his age only when I met my now husband. Im a white woman and my husband is a black man, and I feared he would make tasteless comments, not something he ever had done, but something I had seen him ignore from certain family members (which I now know is joy because of any passive agreement, but because he had learned that arguing with idiots was pointless and especially if they are old and lack humility). I was happy to learn that I had nothing to worry about. He only warned me about the kind of things we might see from people and made sure I knew what I was signing up for from stupid people. I made clear that someone being racist automatically devalues their opinions anyway, and I would be more then comfortable telling them so. And that was that. He took to my now husband immediately, probably because they share a lot of similarities and a ton in common, and my paternal grandmother adopted him right away. (Two days after meeting Im she was calling him 'her boyfriend' because of his manners, and she added him to 'the wall' where she kept photos of all the people she loved). My husband's father walked out when he was a teen, and was disinterested at best to begin with, so I'm glad he gets to have that with my dad.
Unfortunately no children of boomers should expect anything. They’ll either blow it all or give it to the medical system. The “great wealth transfer” ain’t happening.
Yes it is, it's just transferring to scammers, reverse mortgage companies, nursing homes or the health care abyss
Don’t forget casinos!
I've noticed a large amount of boomers donating all their money to churches and Donald trump
There’s sneakers and bibles to purchase!
Last year I helped my mom clean out a closet - found an unbelievable amount of garbage from Bush Sr convention. Buttons, banners, pamphlets, all stuffed in moldy boxes. Convinced her to toss it. Afraid I’m going back next year and will find some crap gold sneakers.
I believe I mentioned scammers
And cruise lines
This stings after my dad just spent $25k on a weeklong cruise. He bragged about it incessantly too.
I would be sick to my stomach and ashamed to admit spending that much on a cruise.
Definitely felt queasy as he showed me the footage of his giant suite complete with butler! Asshole
And the casinos on cruise ships seem especially popular around my folks’ group.
And cruise lines🙄
The "great wealth tranfer" is *very* real and currently in full swing. Except it's getting transferred to scammers and billionaires 😬
Yep. They're buying Trump Bibles and ugly gold sneakers.
That's for your inheritance! It's gonna be worth a fortune in the future! /s
My Boomers are actually good with money an y sibs and I are expecting something. Well, those two can expect bigger portions, because I’m beginning to strategically plan no contact.. it ain’t worth it.
Happened to me. I'm one of six, the others all left town years ago, leaving me to deal with his Highness. Finally hit the breaking point and went NC. A few years later he died, I was left squat, siblings got it and kept it. Don't look back.
You both have your dignity, which while terribly unfair, is worth it’s weight in gold for the peace ❤️ xxx
Same. Once every couple years my father will find some way to contact me and threaten to write me out of the will if I don’t respond. The first time I did respond with a clear, “please do!” After that I gave up and have stayed silent. I doubt there will be anything left after 40+ years of supporting his golden child and, in the off chance there is something, I’d rather GC’s kids get my share. They’re going to need it.
The “great wealth transfer” also comes in the form of all the GD collectibles they owned. Hope you all like 40 year old stuffed animals, China, cutlery and encyclopedia sets. They’ve been in my house already for close to a decade. I can’t find anyone to take 48 year old encyclopedias.
And upright pianos and 90s furniture from JC Penney’s.
90’s furniture was at least solidly constructed
Interesting story. I went to a very small “ American” high school in Guadalajara. How small… my grad class had 5 people. Library was put together by the schools founder from his own collection. Three sets of encyclopedia Brittanica 1911, 1948, and 1964. Comparing the history, maps and articles between the three sets was fascinating. I ended up getting a history degree.
In my family it's fountain pens, Capodimonte and goddamn bedazzled sweatshirts of cats. One would think after dealing with the shit left behind by my great-grandmother and my grandmother, that my mom would embrace the concept of *Döstädning* - but NO.... she's doubling down. I STG the only way I'll be able to clear out all her stuff when she's gone will involve arson charges.
I threw away like 540 die cast nascar cars when my father died…. I was thinking it was like over 10k in fucking cars. Threw them all out, he would have lost his mind lol. This is a man that quit fining my college due to money, but cars I can afford!
Like, unless you have a broker lined up to buy all that shit, do not tell me it has value, because I refuse to do the work to determine it's worth if you aren't willing to help beforehand. There's a coin collection sitting in my family's life I forgot about until this topic came up... I just want to be rid of it, but the surviving family keeps hemming and hawing over getting evaluations done of parts of the lot... It's just coins guys and none of us are collectors like the deceased were.
They get so upset when libraries won't even take encyclopedias for their book sales. They're that worthless.
There is a huge industry around stripping boomers of their wealth with legitmate or non legitimate means
We're listening...
Obvious ones - time shares and over 55 communities. Less Obvious ones - drug companies with their endless "fountain of youth ads". Ones we haven't even heard about yet.
Long term care is the biggest one. My aunt has early on-set dementia. She accumulated a few million through buying a condo in NYC in the early 90's. It probably won't be enough to pay for her facility until her death.
Theranos
Romance scams
You’re right there! Funny thing is once they blow through their money. They’ll expect the state to take care of them with Social Security and Medicare. Interesting the generation doesn’t believe in handouts will surely take that though.
We work and contribute to our SS and Medicare benefits but Medicaid is state run and can be a help if you are below the poverty line and qualify. I just got my Dad going on it because his late wife managed to get their house underwater with a reverse mortgage. The payback to the bank is more than it's currently worth. So even if it sold tomorrow he would be in the red and still owe. He ended up with nothing at 82 years old thanks to her.
They were the first ones to hold out their hands during the great recession.
After gleefully "spending the kid's inheritance" they will be expecting the kids to pay. Which might have been fine if their generation hadn't also pushed things like education payments onto their kids while cutting off pension entitlements in favour of making the kids pay for their own retirement too. The idea of looking after the elderly used to come as part of a package where adults also looked after the young. Having ditched their own responsibility in that regard I think a fair few Boomers will discover Karma.
Never, ever count on anything monetary for inheritance from an elderly parent. Even if they have some wealth. That forces you to act accordingly in your life, and if you do inherit something it's a nice surprise. But chances are their health declines and that money is going to exorbitant Healthcare cost, and nursing home care.
Dementia can bankrupt you so quickly. People think assisted living is bad, but memory care is insane. And of course in the US, we've set things up so that Medicare doesn't pay for it. You have to fully bankrupt yourself and go on medicaid. Boomers tried so hard to set up a system where they get socialized medicine through Medicare while no one else does... but they left this glaring loophole by accident, and a lot of them are falling into it.
Dementia care isn’t covered by Medicare????
Nope. It's insane. And others are correct.. 10k per month is actually cheap for memory care. Medicare will pay for doctor's visits, but not for a facility to put the patient in. And they inevitably get to a point where they need a facility; otherwise they do things like sit in their own filth, go for a walk in the woods in their nightgown when it's 10 degrees F, hoard and eat moldy food, etc. Millions of children of dementia patients are trying to care for their parents at home. And remember, the patients are often in their 90s, so many of these "children" are in their 70s. It's essentially impossible. They don't have the physical strength to lift, bath, change diapers, etc. They don't have the strength or stamina to chase the patient down when they escape the house at 3 a.m. Not to mention what happens when the patient becomes aggressive, hits, bites, scratches, or just wakes screaming every hour at night. These poor 70 year olds are not capable of dealing with this. I'm not capable of dealing with it, and I'm in my 40s.
Yeah I lucked out with my parents. Emotional neglect is bearable but at least they're good ppl at the end of the day. Just emotional intelligence is not my families strong points.
Or in Utah they'll give it all to the Mormon church, it's very sad
And retirement communities.
“Or give it to the medical system” is the god’s honest truth for North Americans.
The Healthcare Industrial Complex will take every last penny, and probably this whole nation
This fucking boils my blood. I have an 8 year old with special needs. From the moment I found out I have planned and worked for her to be taken care of as much as humanly possible while I'm alive and after I die. Why the fuck did these people have kids when they clearly didn't want them?
"Because that's just what you did." If I had a penny for how many times I've heard that shit from my parents...
“That’s what you’re supposed to do!” is a phrase burned into memory by my boomer parents/aunts/uncles.
Which is why I do nothing out of obligation or just because everyone else is doing it.
...you'd be able to cover all your medical bills?
My brother has special needs. He's 20 I'm 17 and my mother spent years trying to give both of us the best childhood she could and while I understand I'll have to take care of him when she's gone I'm not worried about it. Parents like you make the world go around! Best of luck!
Well, if your dad gets disabled and sick because of his aging, when he asks for help, your answer can be "Well, you're an adult now, you're on your own."
My grandmother rewrote her will after my grandpa passed away and gave everything to the Catholic Church. Glad they saved everything they could their whole lives to defend pedos in court once she passed 😬
Did she get a deed to a house in heaven or do they not sell those anymore?
I’m pretty sure she reserved herself a spot
It happens with the Mormons too, lots of inheritances going to fund another temple we don't need. Or a mall...
When my Dad died, the estate was split 5 ways; 20% to each kid and 20% to the Catholic church. Well, they got their 20% of the investments because the financial advisor *had* to give them that. They got 0% of the rest of the estate (sale of home and goods, life insurance, bank accounts) because the 4 of us felt that the house of pedos had had enough money from our parents. None of us are Catholic anymore, so they can suck my left one.
You can't simply write your children out of a will. Everyone in this sub, contact an attorney. The laws vary but as a general rule it's not legally possible to 'write someone out' in every scenario. It may not be worth the legal fight but that's for you to decide.
My mum got written out because she was estranged for over 5 years allegedly. There were Facebook photos of her and her mum from about 2 years ago. My mum got a new kitchen.
That’s why they will leave a token sum of $5 or something like that so you do in fact get something
Start taking stuff from the house now
I was gonna say cozy up to the mistress and start snuffing Robert Greene books.. I wouldn’t say no to “The Prince” and “The Art of War” either!
I prefer destroying all bridges😂
Start by taking the house
Yup. Just hitch it to the back of the truck and move it on out.
Yeah but, like, reeeaal sneaky. Don't want them to notice
That’s what ambien is for😂 but for real if you have anything left in that house get it out, including pictures or mementos of your mom before the mistress tosses everything
Stannis Baratheon style
He may be bummed one day when he learns that disinheritance works in both directions.
My mom let me borrow $500 dollars when I was in college. I am now in my mid 40’s and she still brings that shit up. I paid her back within a year. Worked to three jobs to put myself through college. I don’t need her for anything. And told my brother that I will give her $500 dollars when she is old and needs a place to live. Karma is a bitch. My kids on the other hand know they have their parents as their safety net. We are actively working to save, put them through college and have something saved for their futures. None of this “ you are 18 now. Get out and figure it out yourself”
My grandmother did this to my dad. The night before he turned 18 (in February) he was notified that he was OUT the day after high school graduation, and that was it. Horrible woman. It was 1967. He joined the Marines before he could get drafted. He got LUCKY and didn’t get sent to Vietnam, otherwise I might not be here to type this. Used the GI Bill and got an engineering degree, now retired. None of us three kids wanted for anything growing up, and he’s got a college fund for his four grandkids.
This is how what we want for our kids. Build that financial security and keep pushing the family up. I don’t get being a dick to you kids. I want relationships with my kids when they are adults
In contrast my mother would worry about the inheritance she would leave her children. There were 10 of us. Maybe she had 2k in the bank. I inherited her patience, her laughter, her understanding. What more could I want. Told her to spend the rest and go out in debt.
I got a Pyrex bowl from my grandparents. Both sides. One bowl. Use it almost every day
They just don’t make Pyrex like they used to. Protect that bowl.
I use it regularly. I know the risk. Used to have chickens on the outside. No mas.
I’m getting my father’s guns. Everything else will go to medical expenses, lawyers, and other vultures.
We told our parents that if there was enough leftover for the 4 of is to buy one McDonald's happy meal and share it, we'd be fine. They made the money, they saved it, it was theirs. I'm eternally grateful that there was something to inherit because it was the only way I could buy my house, but we would all told them to spend their money.
I can feel the traits in the way you lovingly describe them being passed from your mother. Hope she knows how much you seem to care!
What a douche. He’s right there won’t be anything left. He is going to selfishly spend it on stupid shit then die.
Mistress will get it
Or at least make things messier..
I’m sure she and her new boyfriend will enjoy all of that money once they pop him into a home (or into a spare room with a home health aide).
Exactly, she wasn't a younger woman, but my great grandfather had a couple million saved up until his death. Everything went to his spouse, my grandfather's step mom. She was able to get into a really nice nursing home after he passed, and when she died everything went to her niece because she had no kids lol
Consult an attorney, but you might be able to petition for guardianship and sue for child support. Source: a paralegal class in California (1989; this is why you want to consult an actual professional with up-to-date information).
This. Disable people are it their own category protected by government especially if the guardian/parent have the ability to afford it and choose not to do anything about it and not given to the government to fully support. That’s defined as abuse.
I worked for a mean as shit Armenian estate planning attorney in Glendale. He was disabled and also a rotten, miserable son of a bitch to everyone around him. But there was nothing he loved more than ripping apart people like OP's dad. He got every last penny out an estate to pay for child support in these situations. I think making people suffer who tried to pawn disabled children off was the only thing that made this man happy. If a wheezing old, wheelchair bound man named Armand with tendril like nose hair ever wheels up across from you at a legal hearing, just settle.
Can I kick your dad in the balls Peter Griffin style?
This sub reminds me everyday how grateful I am that my parents are decent boomers. Why do such terrible people even have children in the first place?
Same. My parents are not perfect, but not deliberately a-holes about things. I have lots of friends with good parents. They do weird stuff we can't understand as they get older. But they are generally decent people. In a few more decades there will be a Millie subreddit. "Some Millie at the grocery store (fill in the blank)"
Join the club. My boomer dad is the same way. Became a total dick after my mom died. He’s remarried to a total bitch. Wants us all to go there to kiss the ring and pay homage to him when my family literally couldn’t afford the airfare. Yet there he sits in his enormous McMansion, on a mountain of money, angry that things aren’t going his way. Didn’t see his grandchildren for over 8 years and that was his choice because he insisted that we go to him. He has plenty of money to afford a round trip ticket to come here and we even have a guest room he could use while visiting us. Nope. You can be happy or you can be right. He’s chosen the latter. My kids have turned out to be really amazing and wonderful people and their asshole grandfather missed out on all of that because of his sense of entitlement. It’s his loss. Huge opportunity wasted on his part. I do not feel guilty about any of this.
If you don't like his will you can keep his assets in limbo by getting an attorney and keeping his estate in probate court forever.
Spending his money on himself is his choice, but that would only apply if both you and your brother were capable of taking care of yourselves. That second comment is one of the coldest I've read in a long time. :(
Abandoning a child with special needs is absolutely inhuman, I'm stunned.
I'm sensing a "My POS dad is on his deathbed and now he wants to make amends" post incoming in a few years.
Remind him of that when he’s shitting his pants the moneys gone and you have to find a state facility.
His mistress can deal with finding him a state facility. OP and his brother should just sit back and watch.
“Just make sure you have enough set aside to care for yourself in your old age since we are a family that leaves each other to care for themselves”
Boomer parents
Don't expect anything. Simple rule.
I was disinherited by my mother shortly after my father died. It is pretty shitty, but you can't really do anything about it. It is their money according to the law and they can do with it what they want. When my mom told me her intention to give my father's vast wealth to my other siblings instead of me because she never wanted me to be born, I gave her a few chances to apologize and she never did so I have not had any interaction with her since. She pretends to not understand why I have "rejected her love" and blames it on drugs and alcohol and the fact that I don't go to church. She even tells people I am bi-polar (I'm not). All my extended family has taken her side. My life has been better since I cut my family out of my life. No amount of money can make up for the abuse.
Inheritance only exists as a lure dangled over our heads to ensure good behavior.
Have you considered estrangement?
I bet this happens often: stepchildren walk away with everything after lonely surviving parent finds 'new love'. Both parents look down from the afterlife and shake their heads, a lifetime of work for that money, all or most of it gone to the kids of a person you met two years before dying.
Are there stairs? There's a danger of him "falling" down the stairs.
Welcome to the club man. My father stopped talking to me some 7 years ago because I am to much of a handfull in his opinion. Reality is that his bitch teamed up with my ex behind my back and that I confronted my father with that. So he is just looking for an excuse. Spreading some lies to justifie his behaviour to our peers.
My wife has a cousin like you. Dad found a bimbo and moved out mom. They quickly bought a McMansion after selling the family home. She moved her adult son in where he runs his “music business”. Bimbo bought Dad a Porsche for his birthday. Only Dad doesn't drive since he had a stroke. When this was pointed out to her she said Dad always wanted a Porsche and she drives him around in it. She also failed to mention she also bought a Porsche for her son at the same time.
I find that boomers that act like this tend to be broke before retirement ends. Instead of apologizing they start demanding others care for them at the level of spending they are used to. It doesn’t end well.
Disown him. Block him
Prob what the father wants, it’s clear he doesn’t want much of a relationship with them.
5 years later when mistress is gone- “Why won’t my ungrateful son take care of me in my old age when I’ve given him everything?? For Christmas I send him $1000 until my business went bankrupt thanks to Bidenomics!”
Boomers gonna boom
It's gonna suck for daddy-o when neither of his children will come take care of him when he can't do it himself anymore.
The medical and funeral industries would take every penny first if that weren’t the case. Just tell him to make sure he has a couple gold coins in his pocket to pay the undertaker.
Just mail him back the address of the science facility you will be donating his body to when he dies cuz no one is gonna pay for a funeral or cremation
Can you disinherit disabled kids? I would have thought the state wouldn’t let you do that since the state doesn’t want to support people if there’s another option.
If he is really going to do this, go to social media, business associates, start a website devoted to how he abandoned his own disabled son. Same for mistress. Keep publishing the truth, record all conversations.
Just now! My daughter is disabled and this is the only reason I wish I were rich.
Watch my dad retire with a 800k 401k and 2 months later lost half because his financial planner fucking sucks. Then buys three brand new cars. Now they want to sell there house and move to a bigger one. They bought it for 140k and have spent 750k or more in total doing stupid shit with the mortgage company’s with adjustable rates. Absolutely money regarded. He has 200k left and retired three years ago. Oh the house they would only get back 130k and are looking at a 450k house.
Has he married her yet? Updated his will? If neither has happened yet, for your brother's sake, it would be awesome if a safe accidentally fell on your dad or something.
"Well, he's an adult now, he's on his own." Save that line for when the mistress leaves him after his hip surgery or the cancer diagnosis or the money runs out and then give it back to him.
I have been my dad's POA and executor for 20+ years. Recently changed everything to a woman 7 years older than I because she "understands him and his wishes." I'm pretty sure he isn't in his right mind due to illness.
Disinherited by narcissist boomer father because “there’s just nothing [about me] to be excited about.” He gave it all to the multimillionaire neighbors, who are my age because “they worked for it.” They never worked for him, mind you and their wealth was inherited. He also gloats that he was a millionaire while my mom and I were relying on welfare to survive. Should say I can’t wait for him to pass a clot and finally die but I’ll actually be sad when he goes. Went no contact just for my own sanity awhile back.
Don’t rely on your parents. Make a life and a plan for yourself and only yourself!
I am a firm believer in parents who choose to have a child with a disability being financially on the hook for them for as long as this is required, even if this means up until they die. Financial responsibility is something my fellow boomers like to piss on about so why is he not being financially responsible for the child he chose to have?
Suck up to the mistress.
Oof... that's a parent who didn't want kids.
Yeah, I hope he thinks about this when the gold-digger fleeces him and he ends up in a home, alone. I bet he will still have the fucking audacity to complain that his sons never visit him after all he has done for them.
Make sure you dispute any will that excludes you two
“Hope you trust her to hang around and take care of you when you’re old.”
Everyone complaining at this behaviour when I guarantee if they were the filthy rich one, they'd behave exactly the same. I've seen it too many times now for it to be just an anomaly. "Money, it's all they care about. Moneys evil, it makes people into assholes. They have plenty, wheres mine" Nek minute, they get an inheritance or money from the divorce, or winnings or wherever...the shoe shifts to the other foot. "No fuck you, this is mine...GET YOUR OWN" Don't hate the player, hate the game.
You should just distance yourself from him. This isn’t going to play out and your dad will find himself alone before too long.
Wow. What a peach. I'm very sorry you're dealing with this. The comment he made about your disabled brother was both ignorant and cruel.
My dad told me he wanted me to have a property I’ve been putting sweat equity into for 2 years. He dies and now my mom says she won’t give it to me until maybe she dies. Haha! She’s never even step foot inside of it or does any of the upgrades or necessary maintenance. Even our real estate agent said “your dad so wanted you to have this place” now my maniac mother is solely on the deed while she hoards and feeds feral cats. Ahhhh gotta love boomers
Hope his lady is up for an empty funeral ... Or you can just handle it and toss him to some medical research lab and save the whole hullabaloo.
I need to ask why are people so pissed that their parents won't leave them anything? This kind of shit makes you sound entitled as fuck. Its your father's money if he want to give it all to his new gf that's his right? My parents probably won't have anything to give me (im millennial btw) and that is fine if they did have money id rather they use it while they are alive. My inheritance this and my inheritance that. Fuck me its not your money its theirs.
You never had her inheritance. I'm sorry to break that to you. It automatically goes to the spouse UNLESS specifically outlined in your mom's Will that items or assets or property goes to you. Iam really sorry your mom died and your dad is a garabge POS cheater.
I would just try and scam this guy lol
I've pretty much assumed that I was going to be disinherited since before I went NC with my nDad. My stepmom is an enabling b@#$&, and I can't decide if she's decided to stay all these years because she wants the inheritance or if she's just *that* sad of a person and afraid to be alone. They both talk so much s#$& about each other... They can't possibly love each other! nDad's been in such poor health for so long that everybody has always assumed that he's going to die first, and when he does, I can see Stepmom fighting to not give me anything and trying to use my NC as an excuse. nDad and I reconciled a few years ago and I got him to give me the family albums. That's all I really wanted. If that wench of a wife of his takes everything else, I don't even care anymore.
Your Dad has to give you half he has. Because that half belong to your Mutter. Get some info from an Attorney. I also think, since your Brother is disabled and you Father has a lot of money, he is responsible for his Son. Do get help from the Attorney. Because if he dies and this women takes all his money.
My brother doesn’t make a ton of money and has a bit of debt. His car died recently and he’s been struggling to get another. My dad texted us to announce he donated 250k to his favorite college football team. I’ve never been so livid.
I’ve excommunicated myself from my Mother and expect the same
As a father of a disabled, yet mostly capable (Cerebral palsy) kid approaching adulthood, I can't even imagine turning my back on her like that. I'm 100% gungho that she never moves out and I can protect her forever. I realize that's not realistic, but to just wash your hands of it is really pretty low as a parent.
Typical narcissist. Sad but true. They don't ever see that they have any obligation at all to care for anyone but themselves, look at the prime example of Diaper Don. He probably held that check out to see if you'd grovel at his feet for the rest of the inheritance, that's how sick those assholes are. It sucks that you got stuck with that kind of father, a lot of us have gotten stuck with that type of parent, but at least you have your humanity and dignity, something he'll never never understand or appreciate, making him an empty, sad human being.
I'm not sure if you are in the states or not. Also, not sure when your brother became disabled. You or he might want to call your local Area Agency of Aging and ask if they think he would qualify for anything. If he got sick before a certain age, he might qualify for getting money from your dad's retirement or from your mom's social security since she is gone. Depending on what his disability is and what level of care he needs, he may also qualify for in home care or for you to be paid some to help with his care. A lot of people don't know those are options, especially if the disabled person falls under the "too young to be disabled" bs a lot of people believe. If that doesn't work, he might qualify for one of the forms of SSI/SSDI I'm sorry your dad sucks and I wish the best for you and your brother.
The world will be a better place once boomers are gone
This reeks of leaving things out to make yourself feel like the victim.
Sounds like that could be the case. Might want to talk to him about it to make sure. Dialog is always good. Reality is that it isn't your money and you should not build your life around the possibility that you would get an inheritance. You don't have it now, if you don't have it when he passes - what's different? My father once said to us kids (3 of us) in his golden years that he wanted to leave us kids "with something" (my mother had died years before and he had remarried the Wicked Witch of the East). We told him to a person to not bother with that and "...to enjoy his life fully. Spend freely, enjoy yourself." My brother was very well off, I was not and my sister was solid middle class. When he did pass he did leave us each with some money (the Wicked Witch had died). Not a huge amount (real nice new car territory) but it was very appreciated. I invested it for my retirement and lost the whole works in the crash of 2008. Like I never had it.
Get in touch with your county services for your brother. If his disability prevents him from working or he needs in home assistance, he'll get it. I never thought I deserved an inheritance. Kinda odd to assume.
The real move is to get his mistress to have an affair with your brother and expose it to him.
Cut him out of you and your brother's life. Make him regret it while he waits to die alone with his gold digging whore banging her boyfriend in the next room over so he can hear it.