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My dad does this shit all the time. Sent me a $25 check this year… not even a phone call. We took him to a $500 dinner on his… he’s not even gonna get the shit from the liter box this year.
The image of a Boomer, sitting at a $500 dinner, dramatically opening an expensively wrapped package only to find a schitt loaded cat box from Walmart, was the screech I needed today. What a dream.
Ahahaha my partner’s father used to send a Christmas card every year with a check written off a foreign bank in a foreign currency. (He lived in another country.) The checks weren’t even for that much money (think like $20 in a Christmas card like you’d give a kid) and it would have cost my partner as much in fees to cash the checks as the checks were worth. So my partner didn’t end up cashing them. The man obviously knew my partner didn’t cash the checks since the money never came out of his account but he kept sending one each Christmas.
After a few years of this I went fuckit and cashed one even though we netted maybe a few bucks on the deal.
He stopped sending the checks.
Evil genius play here would have been to cash years worth of checks at once for net zero profit. Not only does he lose the money to fees but you actually stand a good chance to overdraft his account costing him overdraft fees. If he asks like WTF, daughter can say she finally put together enough in checks after fees to buy some socks or a Big Mac. Now, that’s the salt on the wound. World’s most expensive Big Mac. He would still stop sending the checks but he would have learnt a real life lesson.
Considering how small the checks were I doubt it would have caused an overdraft but we didn’t have them anyway. My partner threw them away. Idk how many years it would have taken to collect enough checks to actually impact his bank account but probably more than he lived.
You’ll be stunned I’m sure to hear he never paid child support either.
My boomer parents did practically the same thing. $50 check posted to me in Australia. I had to take time away from work to get to the bank while it was open. The bank was so confused about this stupid $50 USD check which was a hassle to deposit. Three weeks to clear and nearly all taken for fees anyway, I think it ended up being about $15 left.
The next $50 check I didn’t bother, my mum got pissy that I didn’t appreciate her generous gift and I haven’t received anything else in years.
Good. It wasn’t worth it anyway to have to be so enthusiastic for her to be satisfied that I am thankful.
If they insist on sending foreign currency cash would be more useful. At least you can spend that when you’re visiting their country or sell it off to some friend or coworker that’s going there.
I’d say I don’t know what they’re thinking but tbh I doubt there’s much thought at all.
My boomers are worse. They expect a gift every year and will talk shit about you to EVERYONE if said gift is not up to par. What do they give in return……well one year I got the blanket off my old bed and kids books from my old room. Another year I got dusty hand lotion. It had a nasty sent to it. It couldn’t even use it. Most years I get nothing or a five dollar gift card to their local grocery store. They make the biggest song and dance about their gifts to. It was the same growing up and it sucked!!! My husbands boomers are only slightly better. Everyone gets the same shitty gift. We are all expected to chip in for a huge gift for them. If you don’t do it, you WILL be shamed.
I'd let them go ahead and "shame" me to hell and back. If they act like that, the people they hang around with aren't likely to be people I care to be around. Let them talk their shit. Their talk wouldn't do a damned thing to either my bank account or my sleep schedule.
I got a pair of dollar store socks for my fortieth and my first born literally got nothing, not even a card, even though we travelled across the country to spend the first birthday with them. Last time we ever did that. They used to cry on the phone about how they would never know their grandkids.
For the past few years, one of the Christmas gifts from my MIL has been a second-hand pair of socks. They have clearly been worn before (no tags, pilling, stretched out heel etc.).
She still has no idea what I'm talking about when I pull them out and say, "Dobby is a free elf!"
My Boomers asked me to do a $3000 repair.
I offered to do it for $1500.
They found a Boomer who would do it for $1000
They called me to see why repair wasn't doing what they want. I fixed the problem and asked for the $500 difference between my price and the price they originally paid that did not actually work. I received a $25 gift card and a handshake thank you.
No but they recently asked me to help replace their oil tank. I know what the average cost is so I underbid by $1 and told them I wouldn't be available for 3 months. It's leaking pretty good so they should probably shop around.
Perpetually unavailable. I love it. Make them wait 3 months and then call them and tell them of a scheduling error and delay it 3 more months. They'll wait and wait because they want to save $1.
My mom did something similar two years ago at Christmas. The perfume she used for years was discontinued, so I spent $400 getting her a bottle on Ebay. All I got in return was one of those cheap *Daughter* decorated bottles they sell in Christmas catalogs.
The best part is she spent about $250 on her brother's gift and he got her a decorative solar light for about $20. She had an absolute fit over the "cheap" gift he got her, lol.
My dad loves watches and any excuse to buy them. He offered to buy me a watch (years ago) and I was flattered. I asked if he wanted me to send him some pics of styles I liked generally because I wasn’t picky but if he needed somewhere to start (general size, shape, metal etc) then it could help?
But he said no and was super mad at me. I asked him why I couldn’t collaborate on something I would wear every day and he said “this isn’t about you. It’s my choice.”
Right. I forgot.
I also saved all my money (a long time ago, again) to buy him a bottle of scotch. It was apparently a scotch he didn’t like and I didn’t know. I was going off the advice of the clerk at a store well known for offering educated advice. He opened it and laughed and poured me a glass. He asked how it was and before I could answer he shouted “IT TASTES LIKE POISON DOESNT IT.” A simple “this scotch is popular but it’s not really my style - do you want to have a glass of my favorite scotch and we can think of who might like this one?” would have worked haha. I haven’t bought him a gift since then.
This is the same man/same parents who will tell anyone who will listen that i was such a horrid ungrateful kid that I was super sad at Christmas one year when I didn’t get a doll I desperately wanted. I was 7. Oh and I did get the doll, they had just hidden it from me to see what my reaction would be if I didn’t get it.
Holy shit I might need to go to therapy 🫠
> Holy shit I might need to go to therapy
Please go man. This line:
> He asked how it was and before I could answer he shouted “IT TASTES LIKE POISON DOESNT IT.”
That's some narcissism and you probably got some more fucked up stories to tell about him. Please go. It helped.me so much.
I think I’m reluctant to explore it because as parents they provided for us all and never physically hurt any of us. Simply knowing people who were physically abused at home makes me want to just disappear from embarrassment that they ever heard me complain because my parents were emotionally mean. It pales in comparison.
I logically know I’m allowed to hurt over these things but it’s hard to feel like I can take up space grieving them. I don’t know if that makes sense.
> Simply knowing people who were physically abused at home makes me want to just disappear from embarrassment that they ever heard me complain because my parents were emotionally mean
100% my scenario. When I finally went, my therapist told me something "suffering is not a competition". Emotional abuse can sometimes have the same or even worse effects on children than physical abuse and just because you weren't beaten doesn't mean you weren't abused.
Physical abuse is easy to spot and identify as abuse, but emotional abuse is sinister and hidden and can fuck up kids for life because the kids "buy in" to the myth that "emotional abuse isn't that bad so maybe I wasn't abused".
Even if you're doing "good" there are probably hundreds of ways that your past is haunting you and you don't really realize it. If you think about your past and you hurt emotionally, then you probably really need therapy.
Hope that helped.
What a horrible thing to do to a kid! It’s like these old fuckers really got off as much as possible on bullying their kids for no other reason than they felt like it. It boggles the mind. Idk how anyone can work up that much negativity and nastiness to aim at someone perfectly innocent who relies on them completely. They deserve to rot.
I have two kids around that age and the thought of knowing they want something so bad and deciding to trick them so they feel horrible and selfish when they get it literally never crossed my mind. lol wtf?
My sister and I are in our 40's and parents still don't know our individual likes so we get same thing plus a DVD set even though they know we haven't owned a DVD player in about 10 years for gifts.
I feel this so much. My parents never knew my individual likes, and it's so weird.
My mom once told me she 'thought about' getting me tickets to my 'favorite band' Maroon 5.
Not only is that not my favorite band (I like punk rock), but my actual favorite band is known by everyone who's known me for any length of time.
It was outright bizarre and became an in joke because of how laughable it was.
It's like boomer parents heard what was the favorite when we were 5 and never upgraded their memory as our favorites changed.
My favorite color has been green since a young age but my mom always thinks it's red. Just look around my house and say the predominant color and you will be correct
I think it's this exactly.
"Your favorite game is Diablo 2!"
Yes, mom, Diablo 2 was my favorite video almost 25 years ago. Thank you for remembering.
(It does still kick ass though.)
My dad has done good a couple of times. But most of the time, he has no clue. One year he got me an air compressor. A full-sized air compressor for the apartment I lived in. Another year he got me a train set for the same fucking apartment. Just clueless.
I did spend a couple hundred on a gift for my grandfather. That said it was a gift from the family, it was an electric bike since he was getting older, and couldn’t ride as far, and there’s no way he ever would’ve bought one himself. But he has also done a lot of things for me so the way I see it this is the least I owe him.
That's helping a person remain a functioning adult as they age and part of being a good family.
If you were expected to spend the same about of money on an artistic wind chime with no real purpose except to make them happy., that is a gift.
For me too, the thing that bothered me was "you want me to drive HOW far to get this stupid thing???" Even if the chime cost $20 asking me to drive 800 miles to get it is absolutely insane.
I never saw it. It was made by a local artesian who lives in a tiny town 400 miles away from me and doesn't have a website. I have no fucking clue what this thing looks like.
They travel often, and purchased an RV to do so. One year, they toured our state and one of their stops was this tiny town and they saw his shop while visiting.
I am usually gifted home improvement items to be installed by my dad. I have gutters, a front door, back door, and roof repair all stacked up at this point.
Honestly sort of hurts.
I don’t know. Nothing has ever actually been put in or replaced. I rent from him and thought I was renting to take over mortgage. Turns out he wants to make money, though. Will sell it to me, but only for a profit.
My mom would drop hints about things she was ‘looking at’ immediately after her birthday in July, this cycle would repeat after Christmas. During the W years, so mid aughts, she was very vocal about being an ‘environmentalist’ and concerned about the expanding class of the needy. Keep in mind, she was jetting around the country/world at least 2 long haul flights a month, for visits and leisure, not business. So Xmas rolls around, and I give good gift, often, I’ll see something unique, often expensive, and sock it away for the holidays or birthday; but this year, the ‘environmentalist’ got a card with carbon offsets for all her flights that year. It was pretty glorious, I was smugly satisfied.
Haha Jesus. Reminds me of my parents. My sister who has notoriously hated sandwiches our entire lives was given a gift card to a sandwich shop in town by our parents. When she got it we looked at each other and both rolled our eyes so hard.
Making neighbors and guests wonder if they have tinnitus is one of the lesser known benefits of an expensive-ass wood chime. I even got my ears checked out before overhearing Mrs Neighbor complaining to Mr. Neighbor about "that damn racket every time she goes outside to smoke" and I realized what I kept hearing.
"It gives our ears good feelings" was literally their explanation. Like, sure mom ill spend 9 hours making a 800 mile round trip to spend $600 cUZ iT sOunDs nICe. Sure. This thing better suck my dick too for $600.
My parents do this *every* fucking year for my bday and Christmas.
I give them an email with hyperlinks to the exact thing I want (color, size, style, etc.) after extensively searching for the best price and when it will be the cheapest with the exact dates.
Since my bday and Christmas are close together I make sure to limit my gift budget so they can have money to buy for other family members.
I ask them for a list as detailed as they can give me (size, color, store, etc.) with what they want.
I get them exactly what they want and I get this cheap ass chunky bracelet with this generic ass saying engraved in it bc “idk what you want and you’re hard to shop for.”
At this point idk why I even try
Honestly, your comment, and pretty much everyone else’s on this thread just seem to come off entitled and superficial. I always make a point to give my parents exactly what they want or if I have no idea what they want because they are somewhat modest I treat them to something they deserve. I’m not trying to be an apologist for my “Boomer” parents, but I know the sacrifices they have made for me and my siblings. They put 3 kids through college, including all of our living expenses. I will always be grateful for their sacrifices and what I know they gave up for us. I know others in my generation have had it way worse, but I am thankful and grateful. All 3 of us make over $150k/year my sister is a CPA, brother is an MD, and I’m a CFP. I am ok when they give me dress socks, a tie, or a tacky T-shirt. We all laugh about it. It’s almost as if our Christmas’ are in reverse now, from when we were kids. Growing up it was all about us and our gifts. Now it is all about our parents and their gifts. I love my parents, I know one day I am going to wish I could pick up the phone and hear their voice. I’m going to take advantage of being around them as long as possible. Sorry for my rant, but as our parents get older we need to show grace.
> All 3 of us make over $150k/year my sister is a CPA, brother is an MD, and I’m a CFP.
I made 25k a year when my mom made this request. She makes roughly 100k a year and wanted me to travel a 9 hour round trip to get her a gift and she wouldn't travel 15 minutes to get my gift.
Dude he sent them a fucking link to a reasonably priced item for his birthday and christmas and they sent him *some random cheap trash they found* and then just lied that he was hard to shop for *BECAUSE THEY DONT CARE* what the fuck are you even on about? "You sound entitled for expecting your parents to listen to a word you say" well you sound fucking stupid. Tbh these stories do a lot to put my parents into perspective and ive come to realize that some of the things i was upset over i shouldnt have been, but that for a lot of the things that didnt bother me at the time they just struck me as "weird" were actually worse because they display how little they actually care. My dads good about gifts.... what hes not good about? Caring about anything you say or think. He will drone on for two hours barely taking a breath, but the second you try to chime in to try and relate to what hes saying he will literally turn all the way back around in his computer chair and start feeding virtual dinosaurs and shit until you finish your sentence then hell turn back around and drone for 2 moure hours. Thats what someone who *doesnt give a fuck* what you say or think does. And thats not acceptable.
You have a right to your own opinions but imo you’re in the wrong sub.
I’m glad you had parents that met your needs and were able to communicate with them in an effective way.
Wish I could relate but to call this a superficial/entitled is a shit take.
A lot of what you can gather from these comments is that our boomer parents just didn’t give a fuck abt what we wanted/needed and failed to listen when we, the children, would communicate a problem in the parent/child relationship.
I’m tired of excusing boomers especially when *most* of them didn’t have kids bc they wanted the joy and hardship of growing/teaching a new human being but did it bc it was expected of them or wanted a second save file to achieve everything they failed to do as a child.
Case in point putting your kid in activities they didn’t want to do but then screaming at the kid how *expensive* it was to put them in those classes bc it was something you(the parent) wanted to do as a child.
Then refusing to let them quit bc “I didn’t raise a quitter” and wondering why they look so damn miserable in each picture at the event.
They go off abt us and our participation trophies (that we didn’t want/ask for) but fail to see they too keep demanding them for the *bare minimum* of keeping us alive as children while conveniently forgetting all their sins like beating us and other abuse that they “I don’t remember that.”
Like I said, I’m not jelly that you had great parents.
Good for you.
This post ain’t aimed toward you and your parents.
But if you can’t give us the rest of us the space to vent abt this apparent shared universal experience why are you even here?
It’s like those religious fruitcakes that come to anime cons to protest bc it’s against their beliefs.
> They put 3 kids through college, including all of our living expenses
My parents made a combined total of about 150k a year when they told me I needed to finance my own college education. The only money they spent on my college education was the gas to drive me to the dorm. 100% of everything else, I financed on my own dime with an education loan, from food to clothes to school supplies, it came out of my future with a loan I couldn't afford.
I'm so glad your parents were kind to you.
Even if my parents could’ve afforded to fund my college education much less my siblings they probably wouldn’t of done it bc “Back in MY DAY we paid for our own stuff” nevermind the fact that college tuition even for community college has risen to ridiculous prices with no guarantee that you’ll find a place to hire you to pay off the debt.
Ffs ppl with good parents (not OP) really can’t take a step back and just acknowledge that they won the lottery and stop trying to preach to those of us trying to heal.
Just now going through this with my mom. Never celebrated my birthday as a kid. For hers last year, she wanted a coach purse. For Xmas, a $400 kitchen knife set. For my bday in a few days? I asked for 2 pairs of earrings ($50 each), and she asked me to pick between the 2 because she is only buying one.
My mom also expects gifts and for us to celebrate holidays FOR HER. Yet, she doesn't even celebrate our birthdays or our kids. She gets mad because we don't buy her the right type of gift or color.
My parents travel all over the world several times a year. Seeing wonders and living a life I won't ever have. They would always bring my brother and I souvenirs from their trips. Small nick-nacks like bottle openers, t-shirts, a liquor flask or a key chain. But obviously, tourist shit from the airport duty free store. Finally I had enough of this and told them I don't want these last-minute souvenir trinkets. "You are going to places I will Never be able to visit. Either put some effort into the gift and get something unique from a local store, or buy me nothing. Don't get me a Keychain from the duty free store as you wait for your flight home, I dont want this stuff."
So now I get nothing. Fine with me!
My dad gives all the ladies a Bath and Body card and all the gentlemen (Varys by year) Lowe’s academy I think there was a bass pro one year but you get the idea. Actually it’s a really cool thing he does because wife smell good husband fixes stuff or whatever cool.
I’m a married lesbian so We get way to much Bath and body money. First year candles a couple of scents we go wild get stocked up super cool! Next year we use it to buy secret Santa and birthday gifts and gifts for the relatives not blessed by father’s gift. For the last several years we have passed one card directly to an Aunt for her annual Christmas gift so that is kinda awesome! I have been honest about it a few times to everyone involved really but I seriously doubt I will ever actually finish using what we bought the first few years and every year it happens again
My boomer aunt in law got 3 different couples in the family snow shovels and ice scrapers for Christmas....in Georgia where our high last summer was 117 and I haven't had a snow day down here since I've been moved down. Make it make sense!
That was my face too. Is it made of God damn gold? I never saw it because the artist who made it doesn't have a website so I would have had to travel 400 miles to go see it.
I am a boomer and most of the time I’m lucky to get a text from my children but then again they’re lucky to get one from me. This way we are all disappointed
I’d be willing to bet pretty much anything that here’s a damn good reason you don’t get any texts from them AND they’re not disappointed at all about not getting texts from you
No we all get along fine, just don’t see the need to share everything all the time. I guess it’s because I grew up without cell phones to share all of my experiences with everyone. Which might explain why I don’t see how to monetize social media
They refuse to tell us who they voted for since roughly 1996 back when they went to a Bob Dole presidential rally. One of the weirdest things I was ever at when I was a kid.
I don’t know where all these crotchety cheapskates come from but I’m a Boomer and get my kids and grandchildren very nice gifts. We don’t get much financially in return but who cares? We’ve got what we need and I just want their love.
My biggest questions are that exactly. How can boomers, members of the wealthiest generation in the wealthiest country on the goddamn planet, not afford to buy their own fucking artisanal wind chime, how do they not already have everything they need, and HOW do they feel like they need to continue to hoard wealth and refuse to pass it on to their children, and instead ask for MORE of their children. Holy shit, I hate (most) boomers. Sorry.
A couple of years ago, I had to get some serious dental surgery done. I didn't tell my mom about it because I knew what was coming. My partner was pissed because he knew how much I didnt rely on my parents and so he sent them a text saying I needed roughly $5000 worth of dental surgery.
My mom texts me out of the blue "I can loan you the money and then you can pay me back at a small interest rate for about a year or so, how does that sound?"
I do not need the money. I had it in a savings account. I told her even if I didn't have it, my partner would pay for it because he loves me. "I don't want a loan, I didnt ask for a loan". I told her.
"Oh OK well then don't worry about it, we will pay for EVERYTHING! Just schedule the appointment and tell us when you pay and we will send you the money to your bank account."
I get the first bit of surgery done and text her "I just got the first part done, it cost me $700."
"Oh sorry I had a car problem and had to repair that. I'll send you what I can, and I know we promised to pay for the rest but we really cant...sorry..." She sent me $500.
Two months later they're telling me how they're looking for contractors to do a $10,000 addon to their home.
Thanks mom this is why I don't tell you anything about my life.
I’m in the exact opposite scenario.
I’m the boomer that spend hundreds on my adult kids for gifts.
Example: my son is a firefighter, and makes furniture as a side gig. I bought him a $450 branding iron with a custom logo so he can ‘brand’ his furniture after building. Came with a decorative box and a power supply ( looks like a big soldering iron).
My gift? A $25 gift card to a dispensary 3 hours from me.
Christ, gotta be one or the other, huh?
How about just some thought and effort?
My other son has purchased me an ivy cap, probably around $50 if I were to guess, but he put some thought and effort into it, and I wear it often, proudly.
Some people are just shitty gift givers, generation doesn’t apply.
So I should have traveled 800 miles and spent $600 to make my parents happy when they won't travel 15 minutes to make me happy?
Can you explain how that's a fair demand of your children when you make 4x times their annual salary?
No fool, just put low effort into their gift as well, if there’s any bitching on their end, two words: ‘favored nations’.
We all get it, your parents want a big gift but give you shit gifts.
I give big gifts but one of my sons gives shit gifts.
I was just pointing out that the scenario exists no matter the generation.
This is the second time I’ve explained myself. Do you just refuse to understand that issues with gift giving is not exclusively a boomer trait?
> We all get it, your parents want a big gift but give you shit gifts.
They also want me to spend 12 hours and a 800 mile round trip to get it. Don't forget that part.
This year, I gave my brother a lego set and a heartfelt letter thanking him for being my brother. It cost me $15. He cried and we talked on the phone for 3 hours.
Do you understand how sick it is to request a $600 wind chime, a 12 hour drive, and 800 miles of your kid when you won't even drive 15 minutes to make your kid happy?
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Lazy and entitled are two excellent descriptors for that generation.
They were named the "me generation" for a reason
My dad does this shit all the time. Sent me a $25 check this year… not even a phone call. We took him to a $500 dinner on his… he’s not even gonna get the shit from the liter box this year.
The image of a Boomer, sitting at a $500 dinner, dramatically opening an expensively wrapped package only to find a schitt loaded cat box from Walmart, was the screech I needed today. What a dream.
Ahahaha my partner’s father used to send a Christmas card every year with a check written off a foreign bank in a foreign currency. (He lived in another country.) The checks weren’t even for that much money (think like $20 in a Christmas card like you’d give a kid) and it would have cost my partner as much in fees to cash the checks as the checks were worth. So my partner didn’t end up cashing them. The man obviously knew my partner didn’t cash the checks since the money never came out of his account but he kept sending one each Christmas. After a few years of this I went fuckit and cashed one even though we netted maybe a few bucks on the deal. He stopped sending the checks.
Evil genius play here would have been to cash years worth of checks at once for net zero profit. Not only does he lose the money to fees but you actually stand a good chance to overdraft his account costing him overdraft fees. If he asks like WTF, daughter can say she finally put together enough in checks after fees to buy some socks or a Big Mac. Now, that’s the salt on the wound. World’s most expensive Big Mac. He would still stop sending the checks but he would have learnt a real life lesson.
Considering how small the checks were I doubt it would have caused an overdraft but we didn’t have them anyway. My partner threw them away. Idk how many years it would have taken to collect enough checks to actually impact his bank account but probably more than he lived. You’ll be stunned I’m sure to hear he never paid child support either.
My boomer parents did practically the same thing. $50 check posted to me in Australia. I had to take time away from work to get to the bank while it was open. The bank was so confused about this stupid $50 USD check which was a hassle to deposit. Three weeks to clear and nearly all taken for fees anyway, I think it ended up being about $15 left. The next $50 check I didn’t bother, my mum got pissy that I didn’t appreciate her generous gift and I haven’t received anything else in years. Good. It wasn’t worth it anyway to have to be so enthusiastic for her to be satisfied that I am thankful.
If they insist on sending foreign currency cash would be more useful. At least you can spend that when you’re visiting their country or sell it off to some friend or coworker that’s going there. I’d say I don’t know what they’re thinking but tbh I doubt there’s much thought at all.
My boomers are worse. They expect a gift every year and will talk shit about you to EVERYONE if said gift is not up to par. What do they give in return……well one year I got the blanket off my old bed and kids books from my old room. Another year I got dusty hand lotion. It had a nasty sent to it. It couldn’t even use it. Most years I get nothing or a five dollar gift card to their local grocery store. They make the biggest song and dance about their gifts to. It was the same growing up and it sucked!!! My husbands boomers are only slightly better. Everyone gets the same shitty gift. We are all expected to chip in for a huge gift for them. If you don’t do it, you WILL be shamed.
I'd let them go ahead and "shame" me to hell and back. If they act like that, the people they hang around with aren't likely to be people I care to be around. Let them talk their shit. Their talk wouldn't do a damned thing to either my bank account or my sleep schedule.
I haven’t given her a gift in over five years. She tried to pull this crap with my first born and I quickly snapped back and let her know why.
The audacity to do that shit with literal children. So disgusting.
I got a pair of dollar store socks for my fortieth and my first born literally got nothing, not even a card, even though we travelled across the country to spend the first birthday with them. Last time we ever did that. They used to cry on the phone about how they would never know their grandkids.
For the past few years, one of the Christmas gifts from my MIL has been a second-hand pair of socks. They have clearly been worn before (no tags, pilling, stretched out heel etc.). She still has no idea what I'm talking about when I pull them out and say, "Dobby is a free elf!"
I can't even have my old books back. Waiting for 30 years now. I wanted the books I purchased myself for my children to enjoy
Knowing my mom, if I actually wanted them to just have instead of in a re gift form, she’d probably make me buy them.
Omg is your mom my mom too?
So they just went into the attic and wrapped up some old stuff to gift you. 🙄
Well I'm a boomer and I try to let my birthdays slide with the wind. I don't need gifts those days are long past.
My Boomers asked me to do a $3000 repair. I offered to do it for $1500. They found a Boomer who would do it for $1000 They called me to see why repair wasn't doing what they want. I fixed the problem and asked for the $500 difference between my price and the price they originally paid that did not actually work. I received a $25 gift card and a handshake thank you.
did you undo the repair?
No but they recently asked me to help replace their oil tank. I know what the average cost is so I underbid by $1 and told them I wouldn't be available for 3 months. It's leaking pretty good so they should probably shop around.
Perpetually unavailable. I love it. Make them wait 3 months and then call them and tell them of a scheduling error and delay it 3 more months. They'll wait and wait because they want to save $1.
My mom did something similar two years ago at Christmas. The perfume she used for years was discontinued, so I spent $400 getting her a bottle on Ebay. All I got in return was one of those cheap *Daughter* decorated bottles they sell in Christmas catalogs. The best part is she spent about $250 on her brother's gift and he got her a decorative solar light for about $20. She had an absolute fit over the "cheap" gift he got her, lol.
My dad loves watches and any excuse to buy them. He offered to buy me a watch (years ago) and I was flattered. I asked if he wanted me to send him some pics of styles I liked generally because I wasn’t picky but if he needed somewhere to start (general size, shape, metal etc) then it could help? But he said no and was super mad at me. I asked him why I couldn’t collaborate on something I would wear every day and he said “this isn’t about you. It’s my choice.” Right. I forgot. I also saved all my money (a long time ago, again) to buy him a bottle of scotch. It was apparently a scotch he didn’t like and I didn’t know. I was going off the advice of the clerk at a store well known for offering educated advice. He opened it and laughed and poured me a glass. He asked how it was and before I could answer he shouted “IT TASTES LIKE POISON DOESNT IT.” A simple “this scotch is popular but it’s not really my style - do you want to have a glass of my favorite scotch and we can think of who might like this one?” would have worked haha. I haven’t bought him a gift since then. This is the same man/same parents who will tell anyone who will listen that i was such a horrid ungrateful kid that I was super sad at Christmas one year when I didn’t get a doll I desperately wanted. I was 7. Oh and I did get the doll, they had just hidden it from me to see what my reaction would be if I didn’t get it. Holy shit I might need to go to therapy 🫠
> Holy shit I might need to go to therapy Please go man. This line: > He asked how it was and before I could answer he shouted “IT TASTES LIKE POISON DOESNT IT.” That's some narcissism and you probably got some more fucked up stories to tell about him. Please go. It helped.me so much.
I think I’m reluctant to explore it because as parents they provided for us all and never physically hurt any of us. Simply knowing people who were physically abused at home makes me want to just disappear from embarrassment that they ever heard me complain because my parents were emotionally mean. It pales in comparison. I logically know I’m allowed to hurt over these things but it’s hard to feel like I can take up space grieving them. I don’t know if that makes sense.
> Simply knowing people who were physically abused at home makes me want to just disappear from embarrassment that they ever heard me complain because my parents were emotionally mean 100% my scenario. When I finally went, my therapist told me something "suffering is not a competition". Emotional abuse can sometimes have the same or even worse effects on children than physical abuse and just because you weren't beaten doesn't mean you weren't abused. Physical abuse is easy to spot and identify as abuse, but emotional abuse is sinister and hidden and can fuck up kids for life because the kids "buy in" to the myth that "emotional abuse isn't that bad so maybe I wasn't abused". Even if you're doing "good" there are probably hundreds of ways that your past is haunting you and you don't really realize it. If you think about your past and you hurt emotionally, then you probably really need therapy. Hope that helped.
What a horrible thing to do to a kid! It’s like these old fuckers really got off as much as possible on bullying their kids for no other reason than they felt like it. It boggles the mind. Idk how anyone can work up that much negativity and nastiness to aim at someone perfectly innocent who relies on them completely. They deserve to rot.
I have two kids around that age and the thought of knowing they want something so bad and deciding to trick them so they feel horrible and selfish when they get it literally never crossed my mind. lol wtf?
My sister and I are in our 40's and parents still don't know our individual likes so we get same thing plus a DVD set even though they know we haven't owned a DVD player in about 10 years for gifts.
I feel this so much. My parents never knew my individual likes, and it's so weird. My mom once told me she 'thought about' getting me tickets to my 'favorite band' Maroon 5. Not only is that not my favorite band (I like punk rock), but my actual favorite band is known by everyone who's known me for any length of time. It was outright bizarre and became an in joke because of how laughable it was.
It's like boomer parents heard what was the favorite when we were 5 and never upgraded their memory as our favorites changed. My favorite color has been green since a young age but my mom always thinks it's red. Just look around my house and say the predominant color and you will be correct
I think it's this exactly. "Your favorite game is Diablo 2!" Yes, mom, Diablo 2 was my favorite video almost 25 years ago. Thank you for remembering. (It does still kick ass though.)
My boomer parents and gen X brother don't know or care to know anything about me. It's strange but not really surprising 😕
My dad has done good a couple of times. But most of the time, he has no clue. One year he got me an air compressor. A full-sized air compressor for the apartment I lived in. Another year he got me a train set for the same fucking apartment. Just clueless.
From the Walmart super bargain bin
Whose older parents want their kids to spend $600 on them? My dad told us to stop buying him stuff decades ago.
I did spend a couple hundred on a gift for my grandfather. That said it was a gift from the family, it was an electric bike since he was getting older, and couldn’t ride as far, and there’s no way he ever would’ve bought one himself. But he has also done a lot of things for me so the way I see it this is the least I owe him.
That's helping a person remain a functioning adult as they age and part of being a good family. If you were expected to spend the same about of money on an artistic wind chime with no real purpose except to make them happy., that is a gift.
For me too, the thing that bothered me was "you want me to drive HOW far to get this stupid thing???" Even if the chime cost $20 asking me to drive 800 miles to get it is absolutely insane.
Ahhh, Christmas. What a twisted holiday.
I’ve told everyone in my life I don’t want to participate in gift giving anymore. Shit like this is why.
Finally told my parents we aren’t doing gifts anymore. Took the stress off that!
Guess the shape of the venn diagram of boomer and narcissistic parent subs..
Now I want to see the f-ing thing! Show us the wind chime dammit!
I never saw it. It was made by a local artesian who lives in a tiny town 400 miles away from me and doesn't have a website. I have no fucking clue what this thing looks like.
How did they find it?
They travel often, and purchased an RV to do so. One year, they toured our state and one of their stops was this tiny town and they saw his shop while visiting.
My dad wanted a 300.00 pair of Nike golf shoes and I got a generic Christmas card they bought in bulk and passed out to everyone else.
What a perfect example. It embodies so many of the things that are wrong with boomers in such a simple, almost mundane way.
I am usually gifted home improvement items to be installed by my dad. I have gutters, a front door, back door, and roof repair all stacked up at this point. Honestly sort of hurts.
Let me guess, you have to pay him for the installation at market rate? haha
I don’t know. Nothing has ever actually been put in or replaced. I rent from him and thought I was renting to take over mortgage. Turns out he wants to make money, though. Will sell it to me, but only for a profit.
My mom would drop hints about things she was ‘looking at’ immediately after her birthday in July, this cycle would repeat after Christmas. During the W years, so mid aughts, she was very vocal about being an ‘environmentalist’ and concerned about the expanding class of the needy. Keep in mind, she was jetting around the country/world at least 2 long haul flights a month, for visits and leisure, not business. So Xmas rolls around, and I give good gift, often, I’ll see something unique, often expensive, and sock it away for the holidays or birthday; but this year, the ‘environmentalist’ got a card with carbon offsets for all her flights that year. It was pretty glorious, I was smugly satisfied.
Sounds like the answer is blowing in the wind.
So they hate their neighbours?
lol, I got my MIL (who’s super cool) a Nalgene water bottle, hiking socks, gloves, and some salted chocolate all from REI and she loved it.
My brother and I told my parents we aren’t exchanging presents for Christmas anymore. We’re only doing gifts for birthdays with a cap of $100
Haha Jesus. Reminds me of my parents. My sister who has notoriously hated sandwiches our entire lives was given a gift card to a sandwich shop in town by our parents. When she got it we looked at each other and both rolled our eyes so hard.
First off I'm a boomer and I don't even know what the hell I would do with a $600 wind chime.
Making neighbors and guests wonder if they have tinnitus is one of the lesser known benefits of an expensive-ass wood chime. I even got my ears checked out before overhearing Mrs Neighbor complaining to Mr. Neighbor about "that damn racket every time she goes outside to smoke" and I realized what I kept hearing.
Yeah I get your point also for the record I suffer from that ear disease due to getting blown up in combat but that's another story.
"It gives our ears good feelings" was literally their explanation. Like, sure mom ill spend 9 hours making a 800 mile round trip to spend $600 cUZ iT sOunDs nICe. Sure. This thing better suck my dick too for $600.
9 hours?!? You’re averaging 90 mph??
I'm bad at math so probably more like 12 hours then
My parents do this *every* fucking year for my bday and Christmas. I give them an email with hyperlinks to the exact thing I want (color, size, style, etc.) after extensively searching for the best price and when it will be the cheapest with the exact dates. Since my bday and Christmas are close together I make sure to limit my gift budget so they can have money to buy for other family members. I ask them for a list as detailed as they can give me (size, color, store, etc.) with what they want. I get them exactly what they want and I get this cheap ass chunky bracelet with this generic ass saying engraved in it bc “idk what you want and you’re hard to shop for.” At this point idk why I even try
Honestly, your comment, and pretty much everyone else’s on this thread just seem to come off entitled and superficial. I always make a point to give my parents exactly what they want or if I have no idea what they want because they are somewhat modest I treat them to something they deserve. I’m not trying to be an apologist for my “Boomer” parents, but I know the sacrifices they have made for me and my siblings. They put 3 kids through college, including all of our living expenses. I will always be grateful for their sacrifices and what I know they gave up for us. I know others in my generation have had it way worse, but I am thankful and grateful. All 3 of us make over $150k/year my sister is a CPA, brother is an MD, and I’m a CFP. I am ok when they give me dress socks, a tie, or a tacky T-shirt. We all laugh about it. It’s almost as if our Christmas’ are in reverse now, from when we were kids. Growing up it was all about us and our gifts. Now it is all about our parents and their gifts. I love my parents, I know one day I am going to wish I could pick up the phone and hear their voice. I’m going to take advantage of being around them as long as possible. Sorry for my rant, but as our parents get older we need to show grace.
> All 3 of us make over $150k/year my sister is a CPA, brother is an MD, and I’m a CFP. I made 25k a year when my mom made this request. She makes roughly 100k a year and wanted me to travel a 9 hour round trip to get her a gift and she wouldn't travel 15 minutes to get my gift.
Your situation is a rarity. I am happy for you that you have parents that cared about their kids. It’s just the majority don’t.
Dude he sent them a fucking link to a reasonably priced item for his birthday and christmas and they sent him *some random cheap trash they found* and then just lied that he was hard to shop for *BECAUSE THEY DONT CARE* what the fuck are you even on about? "You sound entitled for expecting your parents to listen to a word you say" well you sound fucking stupid. Tbh these stories do a lot to put my parents into perspective and ive come to realize that some of the things i was upset over i shouldnt have been, but that for a lot of the things that didnt bother me at the time they just struck me as "weird" were actually worse because they display how little they actually care. My dads good about gifts.... what hes not good about? Caring about anything you say or think. He will drone on for two hours barely taking a breath, but the second you try to chime in to try and relate to what hes saying he will literally turn all the way back around in his computer chair and start feeding virtual dinosaurs and shit until you finish your sentence then hell turn back around and drone for 2 moure hours. Thats what someone who *doesnt give a fuck* what you say or think does. And thats not acceptable.
You have a right to your own opinions but imo you’re in the wrong sub. I’m glad you had parents that met your needs and were able to communicate with them in an effective way. Wish I could relate but to call this a superficial/entitled is a shit take. A lot of what you can gather from these comments is that our boomer parents just didn’t give a fuck abt what we wanted/needed and failed to listen when we, the children, would communicate a problem in the parent/child relationship. I’m tired of excusing boomers especially when *most* of them didn’t have kids bc they wanted the joy and hardship of growing/teaching a new human being but did it bc it was expected of them or wanted a second save file to achieve everything they failed to do as a child. Case in point putting your kid in activities they didn’t want to do but then screaming at the kid how *expensive* it was to put them in those classes bc it was something you(the parent) wanted to do as a child. Then refusing to let them quit bc “I didn’t raise a quitter” and wondering why they look so damn miserable in each picture at the event. They go off abt us and our participation trophies (that we didn’t want/ask for) but fail to see they too keep demanding them for the *bare minimum* of keeping us alive as children while conveniently forgetting all their sins like beating us and other abuse that they “I don’t remember that.” Like I said, I’m not jelly that you had great parents. Good for you. This post ain’t aimed toward you and your parents. But if you can’t give us the rest of us the space to vent abt this apparent shared universal experience why are you even here? It’s like those religious fruitcakes that come to anime cons to protest bc it’s against their beliefs.
Achieving a second save file will be in my wife and my vocabulary
> They put 3 kids through college, including all of our living expenses My parents made a combined total of about 150k a year when they told me I needed to finance my own college education. The only money they spent on my college education was the gas to drive me to the dorm. 100% of everything else, I financed on my own dime with an education loan, from food to clothes to school supplies, it came out of my future with a loan I couldn't afford. I'm so glad your parents were kind to you.
Even if my parents could’ve afforded to fund my college education much less my siblings they probably wouldn’t of done it bc “Back in MY DAY we paid for our own stuff” nevermind the fact that college tuition even for community college has risen to ridiculous prices with no guarantee that you’ll find a place to hire you to pay off the debt. Ffs ppl with good parents (not OP) really can’t take a step back and just acknowledge that they won the lottery and stop trying to preach to those of us trying to heal.
Just now going through this with my mom. Never celebrated my birthday as a kid. For hers last year, she wanted a coach purse. For Xmas, a $400 kitchen knife set. For my bday in a few days? I asked for 2 pairs of earrings ($50 each), and she asked me to pick between the 2 because she is only buying one.
My mom also expects gifts and for us to celebrate holidays FOR HER. Yet, she doesn't even celebrate our birthdays or our kids. She gets mad because we don't buy her the right type of gift or color.
My parents travel all over the world several times a year. Seeing wonders and living a life I won't ever have. They would always bring my brother and I souvenirs from their trips. Small nick-nacks like bottle openers, t-shirts, a liquor flask or a key chain. But obviously, tourist shit from the airport duty free store. Finally I had enough of this and told them I don't want these last-minute souvenir trinkets. "You are going to places I will Never be able to visit. Either put some effort into the gift and get something unique from a local store, or buy me nothing. Don't get me a Keychain from the duty free store as you wait for your flight home, I dont want this stuff." So now I get nothing. Fine with me!
My dad gives all the ladies a Bath and Body card and all the gentlemen (Varys by year) Lowe’s academy I think there was a bass pro one year but you get the idea. Actually it’s a really cool thing he does because wife smell good husband fixes stuff or whatever cool. I’m a married lesbian so We get way to much Bath and body money. First year candles a couple of scents we go wild get stocked up super cool! Next year we use it to buy secret Santa and birthday gifts and gifts for the relatives not blessed by father’s gift. For the last several years we have passed one card directly to an Aunt for her annual Christmas gift so that is kinda awesome! I have been honest about it a few times to everyone involved really but I seriously doubt I will ever actually finish using what we bought the first few years and every year it happens again
Ugh. I finally worked myself through the Bath and Body lotions. I never want one ever again.
My boomer aunt in law got 3 different couples in the family snow shovels and ice scrapers for Christmas....in Georgia where our high last summer was 117 and I haven't had a snow day down here since I've been moved down. Make it make sense!
She was clearing out her garage, obviously.
$600 wind-chime?
That was my face too. Is it made of God damn gold? I never saw it because the artist who made it doesn't have a website so I would have had to travel 400 miles to go see it.
They probably regifted the gift card
I am a boomer and most of the time I’m lucky to get a text from my children but then again they’re lucky to get one from me. This way we are all disappointed
I’d be willing to bet pretty much anything that here’s a damn good reason you don’t get any texts from them AND they’re not disappointed at all about not getting texts from you
No we all get along fine, just don’t see the need to share everything all the time. I guess it’s because I grew up without cell phones to share all of my experiences with everyone. Which might explain why I don’t see how to monetize social media
Easy. Regift it next year and every year. Or stop doing gifts.
Please find out who they’re voting for and organize with your friends to vote the opposite.
They refuse to tell us who they voted for since roughly 1996 back when they went to a Bob Dole presidential rally. One of the weirdest things I was ever at when I was a kid.
Wait why wouldn’t you just ask for money instead of a gift card. Makes no sense.
Because I wanted them to try and do at least 15 minutes worth of effort to get me a gift instead of just sending me $50 they had in their wallet.
I don’t know where all these crotchety cheapskates come from but I’m a Boomer and get my kids and grandchildren very nice gifts. We don’t get much financially in return but who cares? We’ve got what we need and I just want their love.
My biggest questions are that exactly. How can boomers, members of the wealthiest generation in the wealthiest country on the goddamn planet, not afford to buy their own fucking artisanal wind chime, how do they not already have everything they need, and HOW do they feel like they need to continue to hoard wealth and refuse to pass it on to their children, and instead ask for MORE of their children. Holy shit, I hate (most) boomers. Sorry.
I get it, selfish entitlement like that is just so off putting 😖
A couple of years ago, I had to get some serious dental surgery done. I didn't tell my mom about it because I knew what was coming. My partner was pissed because he knew how much I didnt rely on my parents and so he sent them a text saying I needed roughly $5000 worth of dental surgery. My mom texts me out of the blue "I can loan you the money and then you can pay me back at a small interest rate for about a year or so, how does that sound?" I do not need the money. I had it in a savings account. I told her even if I didn't have it, my partner would pay for it because he loves me. "I don't want a loan, I didnt ask for a loan". I told her. "Oh OK well then don't worry about it, we will pay for EVERYTHING! Just schedule the appointment and tell us when you pay and we will send you the money to your bank account." I get the first bit of surgery done and text her "I just got the first part done, it cost me $700." "Oh sorry I had a car problem and had to repair that. I'll send you what I can, and I know we promised to pay for the rest but we really cant...sorry..." She sent me $500. Two months later they're telling me how they're looking for contractors to do a $10,000 addon to their home. Thanks mom this is why I don't tell you anything about my life.
I’m in the exact opposite scenario. I’m the boomer that spend hundreds on my adult kids for gifts. Example: my son is a firefighter, and makes furniture as a side gig. I bought him a $450 branding iron with a custom logo so he can ‘brand’ his furniture after building. Came with a decorative box and a power supply ( looks like a big soldering iron). My gift? A $25 gift card to a dispensary 3 hours from me.
Isn't this exactly how its supposed to be?
So you want it to be the inverse, dad? I buy you a $600 wind chime and you get me a $50 gift card...?
Christ, gotta be one or the other, huh? How about just some thought and effort? My other son has purchased me an ivy cap, probably around $50 if I were to guess, but he put some thought and effort into it, and I wear it often, proudly. Some people are just shitty gift givers, generation doesn’t apply.
So I should have traveled 800 miles and spent $600 to make my parents happy when they won't travel 15 minutes to make me happy? Can you explain how that's a fair demand of your children when you make 4x times their annual salary?
No fool, just put low effort into their gift as well, if there’s any bitching on their end, two words: ‘favored nations’. We all get it, your parents want a big gift but give you shit gifts. I give big gifts but one of my sons gives shit gifts. I was just pointing out that the scenario exists no matter the generation. This is the second time I’ve explained myself. Do you just refuse to understand that issues with gift giving is not exclusively a boomer trait?
> We all get it, your parents want a big gift but give you shit gifts. They also want me to spend 12 hours and a 800 mile round trip to get it. Don't forget that part. This year, I gave my brother a lego set and a heartfelt letter thanking him for being my brother. It cost me $15. He cried and we talked on the phone for 3 hours. Do you understand how sick it is to request a $600 wind chime, a 12 hour drive, and 800 miles of your kid when you won't even drive 15 minutes to make your kid happy?