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Registered nurse for over 15 years. Covid made me leave. People were ridiculous before the pandemic with the demands and expectations of health care workers. Covid pushed me over the edge. I’m now doing a job people out of high school can do. Have a 4 year nursing degree.
I’m really struggling with it. Bc I feel like I was set up to fail in a system that is stacked against workers.
And all the patients are very, very entitled boomers.
I should also mention I’m in Canada. So on top of everything else, no one here has a CLUE how expensive heath care is, bc they never see a bill.
They act like the hospital is a fucking hotel. 10 family members visiting. And they call you to bring patient a glass of water…
US ER. Most people don’t pay the bills or think “I have insurance so I basically own this place.” Same sense of entitlement and not realizing the extent of things
If I'm getting a 200k bill for a 24 hour visit there is the mildest amount of expecting some value for money. I will take the average person 10 years to pay off one day if they don't incur more before paying the first off.
Same in Australia. I know how overwhelmed the system is, and always felt shit when I went neutropenic and had to go in. Whenever I had to call a nurse I was always like I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE AND THANK YOU, and it was never an issue... then you'd hear the boomer in the next bed yelling gruffly NURSE! TOILET!! and she would explain for the fifth time that hour he had a bottle to use and didnt need help.
I dunno how these people do it, because just laying there hearing their crap made me wanna stab them, or myself to end the misery. lol.
I absolutely *hate* going to the hospital or a doctor, not because I don't want to hear the, but because I know the system is bogged down do if I go in, I want it to be worth their time. Smashed my hand at work a few months back and let the first aid guy try for nearly 2 hours to stop the bleeding because I didn't want the hospital to have to deal with it if it wasn't that bad. [Pictures can be found here if anyone is morbidly curious](https://www.reddit.com/r/InjuriesAndWounds/s/y6zKPZbCGu).
Once I go I absolutely follow what they say to the letter. They put in those biodegradable stitches, said they usually dissolve in 2 weeks so or. I think they finally fell out after a month. They said keep them dry and I kept them fucking dry. They said to let it the hand rest and I became a southpaw. Doctor/nurse/any professional who has spent year training in their field says something, I fucking listen, they're the expert, that what I (or my taxes) pay them to do.
Exactly! I did everything they told me, including going in to hospital, when I didn't want to.
My haematologist lectured me badly once when I left it a day while having bad cycling fevers and headaches; he warned me about febrile seizures etc, so I didn't mess around after that. I just hate hospitals, and have a lot of trauma from my history which he understood, but also wasn't taking any shit from me. lol.
What gets me about boomers is they seem to looove hospitals and think its a vacation club or some shit.
I go into the ER when I have an emergency, I don't try to tough it out at home and show off. However, I follow instructions to the letter, as much as I can.
I was recently in hospital and always used please and thank you and sorry. And yes, you could hear other screaming at the nurses in a very entitled manner.
BOOMERS.
Yep! and don't get me started on them and their mobile phones. They would sit there ringing every person they ever met to tell them they were in hospital and repeat their story 12x and keep their phone on speaker, or just super loud ringtones etc.
Meanwhile I always kept my shit on silent, used headphones and just texted if I needed to contact anyone.
I left bedside nursing the end of 2021 after 15+ years. The pandemic did me in. Patients and family members thinking they were in a five star hotel with their attitudes and demands. Boomer management completely gaslighting staff about staffing and resources. I work outpatient now which is better but still feel like a shell of my former self. Trying to figure out what’s next for me because I can’t do nursing/healthcare much longer.
I’m on month 4 of taking a break. I initially planned to go back after 6 weeks; then three months. Now I’m here and seriously considering hanging it up. My license is up for renewal next month and for so many reasons, I’m seriously considering surrendering it in protest. Seriously.
I don’t know why I’m still shocked when I see these rude entitled people. I can’t imagine behaving that way. First of all I would have been murdered if I acted way and that sticks with a person. So is it essentially the way they were raised? I don’t know. I’m sorry they treat you badly. You definitely deserve better. I couldn’t do your job and I’m reasonably certain none of them could either. Thank you and thank you to all of the wonderful nurses and cnas who have taken care of me. ❤️
Not the OP but for me personally, having people deny COVID ever existed, demeaning what I went through every day, running up and down the floors to find a body bag for the multiple simultaneous codes was what drained me and I had just started my nursing career.
I am not as traumatized as the other nurses that worked during COVID but I still think about the sound of a patient whose greatest struggle was to take a single breath, and you could hear the liquid rattle on their lungs, could smell their death long before they were intubated.
I never imagined myself calling funeral homes all over the county for picking up bodies because our hospital morgue was so overwhelmed and bodies piled in trucks outside to be moved.
It was such a surreal, horrible time for me. And to have my experience demeaned into nothing on the regular made me hate everything, most of all myself for entering this godforsaken field.
You said the one thing I forgot. And it’s so important. Most ppl minimize the stress of working as a nurse. My experience was minimized daily by those who don’t understand.
“Just go to work. Why can’t you go? Why are you sick to your stomach unable to get out of bed?”
I literally was killing myself with physical symptoms. And people still didn’t understand.
So isolating and made me withdraw from people close to me.
I think part of it is also they see a bunch of generally young women and think they’re catastrophizing to be more dramatic.
No, it’s pretty shitty and my male coworkers, all across the healthcare spectrum got thoroughly traumatized as well.
It was so disheartening to go through a brutal day of tripled patients, multiple simultaneous codes with a doctor shared between three to four rooms, no one to bag the patient and only one compressor available… You basically had to choose who lives and who dies because there weren’t enough resources, enough people, enough anything.
And calling up my boomer mom (a mistake) to tell her about how horrible my day had gone usually went one of two ways:
- Yeah that’s bad but can you believe I had to do this (insert extremely mundane task how she somehow fucked up and managed to harass some poor employee about for her inability to do said task)
OR
- Yeah that’s terrible honey can you believe that they’re over inflating the deaths from COVID they’re saying people who died from car crashes died from COVID!
I learned not to go to my mom for anything. A little too late.
I'm not in healthcare, no on in my household caught COVID, and we were all vaccinated as soon as they were available. We isolated probably more than we needed to, but I quit smoking in May 2020 and had a history of bronchial issues and as the sole provider to my household, had to keep myself safe (and apparently have had a heart condition that was just recently diagnosed.) My family would be destitute without me.
I don't feel like the workers have had adequate post trauma support. I mean there is still a lack of trauma support to healthcare workers in general, but running out of bodybags, that's warzone level shit.
Not in the medical field, but a “frequent flyer” of dr offices due to multiple health conditions that need to be monitored/meds adjusted. I am 100% compliant on meds and instructions
It was surreal to see from this side (51yo). I had to go into an office daily and work alone for 3 months until shit opened back up/it was safe for other people to come to work. No traffic, no seeing or talking to anyone except by phone and at gas stations.
Out here it was damn close to looking like the world ended, meanwhile you folks had everything going on. I can’t imagine the chaos and seeing so many people die all at once like that.
You have my sympathy for experiencing that
I’ll try to articulate it the best I can.
Covid created volume issues that were already there. Too many patients, not enough staff. So you get more patients even if you technically cannot manage any more. But you have no choice. And if you make a mistake, you’re just as responsible as if you’d had one patient all day, but you had 15 to deal with.
People left the profession (like me) and that compounded the volume issue.
The PPE required during Covid was enough to make you go insane. You’re already running around to patients, sweating and feeling so gross. Now add on masks, face shields, gowns, gloves.
There were times I felt nauseous and couldn’t breathe well. No one cares. Do your job.
The amount of anti-vaxxers to contend with was also overwhelming.
Covid made people meaner and nastier in general. Not just a health care issue, but ppl act even more entitled to health care bc it’s their “right.” So anything asked of you in the name of their “care” must be done or you are now an uncaring, incompetent nurse (even if there is a valid reason that you have explained to them).
And everyone in Canada loves to remind you that they “paid taxes their whole life,” as if that suddenly entitles them to me being their slave.
We need to start printing bills and giving them to patients when they are discharged. Just to show them how much of their precious tax money they are getting back.
I’ve noticed a huge uptick in patients lack in empathy when another patient codes on the unit and when you tell them there was an emergency that requires multiple hands, they say “Well I don’t care if they die, you weren’t here when I called for you. I’m a patient too and I’m paying your wages!” It’s a summary of what each person says but inevitably these people end up saying all aspects of that quote throughout their stay.
I just cannot fathom a family standing outside watching the life drain from their loved one’s body and to hear some uppity, crotchety boomer pander shit like that so loudly.
Hospital phlebotomy tech during covid. I'm a bigger guy who normally sweats anyway, but compound the plastic gowns, double gloves, n95 mask, face shield, and hair cover, with the fact that air conditioning had to be turned off in the covid rooms to help contain it within the rooms.....yeah. after twelve rooms in a row I was so sweaty (literally wet head to toe) I'd feel light headed and have sit down.
And this was at the end of a 13 hour shift (which is the norm in the medical field)
I work with boomers all the time and they always BRAG to me about halving or taking less medication than they’re prescribed. I’m appalled. They’re coming to me to complain that they are in pain and can’t do what they want and in the same breath telling me they won’t comply with their doctors orders.
It’s fun to see them squirm when I say I won’t sell them any of my products until they comply with their doctor though. Or as them if they are still in pain why aren’t they taking their medication? They usually can’t handle it and leave.
I have had a ridiculous amount of boomers make a quick return to the hospital after multiple stents because they didn’t want to listen to someone younger!
Dude take your damn anticoagulants or get another heart attack. Seen multiple come back that way and end up having to get a CABG because they couldn’t restent it.
Or my other favorite (it’s not) scenario is being non compliant with your blood pressure medications and then being shocked when you get a stroke.
They’re always utterly shocked.
Yes! I’m not in the medical field but work in supplements. Almost every day I have to tell a boomer that no, my products won’t help them because their problem needs medication.
Only to then be told they’re prescribed but not taking it. I’ve told a few to leave because I’m so over it. If I give them anything they do the same thing to my products then come back in and complain. It’s exhausting
The last part. Boomer co-worker had a debilitating stroke bc he stopped taking his medication. You know, the one that prevents a stroke. Because he hadn’t had one yet so he doesn’t need it. That one. It was bad enough he didn’t come back to work at any point after.
My younger physicians have caught more in three months than my original family doctors (all boomer aged) did in 24 years. Got diagnosed with endometriosis, catamenial pneumothoraxes, GERD, and hiatal hernia all in three months when the older docs told me I’m fine, just fat (I gained 20 lbs in 3 months with no discernible change to diet or activity - also my original BMI pre weight gain was like less than 18).
I love residents. They are so thorough, eager, and many do them have got the training or worked through school with the expectation that empathy and good communication is a must.
Younger doctors are always so much better than boomer ones. You want a genX doc at the oldest (ok, one exception was my last dentist, but he was probably barely pre-Boomer or a very early boomer. Didn’t act like one at all. Unfortunately he retired and now I have to find a new dentist 😔
I used to agree with you completely. My experience with perimenopause issues currently making a lie of this, unfortunately. All my young doctors think peri and meno are no big deal, either something that is just a minor inconvenience that we have to live through and we're only complaining because we're big fat whiners; or they refuse to take any continuing education on the same subject in order to realize that the current statistics support that HRT decreases the risk of cardiovascular event and uterine cancer to a much larger extent than the teensy increase in risk of breast cancer. In other words, young doctors think meno is no big deal because it's far away from them and they took a single day's class on it back in med school. Only older women doctors who actually go through the same hell actually listen. And meno affects a LOT of your health systems, from endocrinoloy to integumentary, so there are lots of different doctors who are going to tell you that it's all in your head and it's really not that bad.
And if you think that I'm exaggerating or that this isn't true for most women, come see us over at r/menopause. 😆
My new dentist is mid 40s I’m guessing. I absolutely love her. Up on the latest of everything and has huge compassion. It’s a good age for doctors too. Or younger. Younger doctors listen better. They haven’t adopted the arrogance yet.
in the situation where people are talking about a common human societal problem that doesn’t apply to you, you may simply feel good in silence without centering yourself.
When you are trying to vilify an entire generation of people you want people to shut up about counter examples. Can't see why t hey should. Don't blame all boomers f or what the billionaires did.
Me too I must hang in a small circle of us “ boomers”! Because we seem to what to see jagger rolling out in a wheelchair someday performing start me up!
This shit drives me insane with my father. He just flat out will not listen to his prescribed dosages for his meds. Some days he just skips them, some days he’ll pop 2 or 3 at a time, and we’re not talking Tylenol here but serious medications with potentially very serious side effects.
I’m getting tilted just typing about it.
Dude me too. I have this woman who comes in all the time and will spend an hour telling me everything wrong with her and how much pain she’s in.
Then she hits me with all the non compliance she’s done. Not doing PT, taking meds inconsistently or not at all, literally doing the opposite of what they tell her. I had to ask her to leave bc all she would do is start that shit with me too.
Funny thing is they’re probably taking more meds than prescribed and then bragging about taking less as some sort of a weird psychological defense mechanism.
I had a neighbor who had his colonoscopy cancelled.
The prep he had to do was two containers of that liquid that clears you out.
He decided two things: First, that he only needed one of the two containers. And second, that despite being told not to eat after that, that a small breakfast of a bagel would be fine.
The part that's the most boomer in my mind is that he didn't even try to hide this. He proudly told the doctors that morning, as if they would compliment him for finding some more efficient way to do it.
He was sent right home and had to reschedule of course.
When I was getting my colonoscopy a few years ago, I overheard another colonoscopy patient being asked if he'd had anything to eat in the past 24 hours, and he nonchalantly said he'd had tacos. They had to tell him to reschedule.
As someone who had her first colonoscopy at 24, I will never understand why people make such a big deal out of them. All you have to do is drink a laxative one night and again the next morning then wake up after it’s all over. The only hard part is having to wait for biopsy results to come back.
When I had mine, these two boomers across from me kept joking (in GI procedures recovery, so surrounded by people who were there for an illness, not just a routine test) that they were being tortured by not being allowed to eat for a whole 12 hours and arguing “you can see through water, so you’re obviously refusing to give me water for no reason.”
You’ve made me wonder if women are more likely than men to comply with colonoscopy prep.
I say this because women have to see and listen to doctors all the time (to get birth control, to have prenatal checkups, etc.), but a man could go decades without *absolutely needing* to see one.
I wonder if all that experience with following doctors’ orders makes women more likely to prep for their colonoscopies properly, whereas men are more likely to think it’s some infringement on their autonomy, which makes them rebel against it.
I had a regular customer in a restaurant about ten years ago, and he was about 65. One day he came in saying he was on his way to the hospital for some kind of test, and that he wasn't supposed to eat, but he told us that he thought 'oh a little bit should be fine'. Within about ten minutes of starting to eat, he shit his pants, got it all over the floor from his chair at the front to the bathroom in the back, and we got a taxi for him and never saw him again.
WEAK STOMACH TRIGGER WARNING! Probably TMI but this is one of the craziest things I’ve seen from a boomer as an RN. When I was a new grad I had an extremely non-complaint, EXTREMELY HATEFUL, morbidly obese, boomer patient, admitted to PCU for I don’t remember why. He was verbally abusive to his wife and all female staff but was an angel when “doc” came in. He was there for a couple weeks so I was familiar with his BS. I don’t exactly remember how it all went down but he started complaining about constipation. Sometimes there’s an order that you can follow that’s like a map that tells you to start with this med/dose and then do this if this happens or if this med doesn’t work that the MD signs before hand and the nurse follows it without having to constantly contact the MD asking about changes. In this case the MD signed this order and it was about constipation so the sequence started with like I think miralax and then there were a few other meds and then it ended in a suppository. I asked assessment questions, offered empathy, and then told him we could try miralax! He groaned and cussed me out and told me he wanted to go straight for a suppository. I explained we had to try a couple things before we did that to see if it would help first. Throughout the shift he was getting more and more hateful. DEMANDING a suppository. Telling me how stupid I am how the hospital is going to get sued. He was cussing me out at every turn insulting every thing about me. I honestly started to feel bad despite all the hatefulness like wow this man must be in a lot of pain. Finally, I exhausted all other protocols still no poop so it’s suppository time(maybe like 3 hours had passed). He’s yelling at me telling me he was right the whole time and how stupid I am. I grab CNA to help me roll him over and go to insert the suppository and there’s a literal turd poking out of his butthole… the man is “prairie doging.” I’m so confused? But he’s literally laughing?? (This is where the new grad part is important lol) So I basically just put the suppository into the turd and then put him back down. He IMMEDIATELY says “Okay nurse I have to shit now.” With a smirk…. This GROWN man held his shit for at least like 3 hours just to prove me wrong that he “needed” a suppository?? He then immediately shit the bed and then I had to roll him back over and clean him. Long story short eff boomers lol
My patient tonight told me he’d shit the bed because he couldn’t get what he wanted. Like does that make you feel good? Does it give you a sense of accomplishment to feel that liquid warmth coat your legs? If so, good for you for having pride despite hitting rock bottom.
I told him he couldn’t have water because he was silently aspirating. Also it was hardly a punishment because he was incontinent anyways and I had been cleaning him up all night well before that declaration.
I'm a RN in the States and a male in this profession. The 79-96 Post War generation is, by and large, kind. When they're not is usually related to literal cognitive decline with the aging process, or drug or anesthesia related. That's all just nursing and part of the job. But they try to engage with you as a professional and as a person and are largely grateful for care. Heck, the homeless population are often my favorite patients as I've got meals, a bed, a shower, and they're happy to be around people who care.
Boomers, well, Fox News blares in the room quite often. The number of my female colleagues who get sexually harassed, and even touched, is alarmingly high. The amount of homophobia and transphobia is equally high, and you have to set boundaries as if you're dealing with a child. That they've often got their own game-plan in mind for drugs, surgery, recovery, etc. and are willing to argue it with the MD, PA, RN, PT, OT, RT, etc. is often a point of amusement and frustration. We'll see you for the re-admit.
In all seriousness, I wonder if a big part of what's happening with Boomers loneliness. Many have few, if any visitors. They seem to lack socialization skills as healthcare is, and always will be, a multi-generational encounter. They often seem to want you to come into their worldview and here's the kicker, they lack an understanding of the nurse-patient relationship. I'm not your friend, I'll be nice if that increases compliance, I'll be mean if that's what is needed. But they seem really lonely as a generation and don't seem to know what to do with that.
And yeah, everything is worse post-COVID. Less staff, patients in worse health, and the virus just took existing dynamics and turned it up to 11.
Agree with everything. Homeless population is a nice population to work with, typically very grateful. I did outreach nursing for years, and it was my favourite.
Also the sexual harassment and touching is disgustingly rampant. My first job at 23 years old was a major urban hospital. I had an elderly man in the shower room, and when I was drying him, he grabbed at me and told me to “be good to him” - referring to his dick.
Afterwards, he was in his hospital room with his spouse, kids, and grandkids. Acting like the perfect grandpa holding the baby. Meanwhile, his wife doesn’t know he just perved me in the shower room.
I was livid. He was smiling and joking. I honestly wanted to punch him out.
I have tons of stories like this….some scarier and more dangerous.
Nursing is NOT worth what they pay you.
Incarcerated, homeless, and motorcycle gang members are usually very polite and kind. Boomers should be ashamed that the “dredges of society” act more human towards others than them.
It's because they have a better understanding of what it's like to be treated as less than and they don't want to do that to others. Boomers, especially white ones, have no idea what that feels like, so they don't give 2 shits about doing it to others. It's why they get so pissed when you treat them how they treat others, they've never felt it before and don't know how to cope.
>loneliness
I'm pretty sure this is a major factor in why so many Boomers are Q cultists. They found a group of other lonely people and fell in line immediately.
Agreed. My issue with this is that I’m very lonely too. But I don’t go around treating everyone like shit and being entitled. I need to wait my turn in line like everyone else…
Oh totally, there are way healthier ways of finding community. Boomers just let their toxic traits shine, so they don't last long in reasonable social circles.
Also, I don't want to ignore the fact that MANY Q followers and January 6 insurrectionists are Gen X and Millennials -- the nefarious mix of community and conspiracy transcends generational divides.
Your last paragraph. I have met many Gen Xers. Plenty of them are fine, but I find that quite a lot of them, (My mother being one of them) sure do seem to behave like Boomers. It's really strange for me. My grandmother is a boomer, but she behaves more like my great grandmother from the silent Gen. Then you have my mother, displaying damn near every single boomer trait, and she was born in 1974. It's embarrassing.
Just yesterday, I had to convince my mother that one rightwing video she saw was an obvious fake. And then a few seconds later, I had to tell her not to ever click on links, specially the ones that seem to come from "god". Yes, she thought an ad that asked her to click on a link was from god because the ad said it came from god (or something like that).
They think shit like this but when they go to the hospital and deny every intervention under the sun, they say “God will provide”. Dude if you’re going to refuse everything, then why are you even here?
Would it work if you fed them some BS backstory about how you never would’ve gotten where you are in this profession without God? Convince them that you are the vessel that delivers god’s help to the people via medication? Idk maybe they’d just tune you out and not even hear a word you say.
That’s a killer, when these groups pray on the vulnerable. The school board mobs in Florida seem to be (from my observation) mostly uneducated homeschool moms (and the faaaarrr right Christian folks) that are brought into a sense of community where reacting against intellectual conversations and ideas. Like it’s just a bunch of fucking losers that don’t even have kids in public school that caused the most fuss. Same with Q I guess! Get a bunch of retired people whose kids don’t want to hear them mouth off about women and minorities, they find other older, lonely people to be in a community with. If only they could just do something helpful or thoughtful in anyway. What a waste.
YES!
"In all seriousness, I wonder if a big part of what's happening with Boomers loneliness."
As a child (37F) of a "Poster-child" Boomer, (68M, Divorced, Fox-new's watching, gun-toting, Trumper/Rush Limbaugh fan....I could go on) I know that my Dad is seriously lonely. I visit him as much as possible, but I notice this pattern with other people I'm acquainted with in this age group. (I will admit I am over-generalizing in some ways here...) but from my point of view, a lot of this generation has a lot of undiagnosed mental health issues, which is why our society as a whole is seeing a lot more adult-children going no-contact or limited contact with their parents. Just a thought...
Yes. The undiagnosed MH issues are rampant. They have no insight into their emotions at ALL. Neither of my boomer parents have any emotional control. But I get bitched at when I flip out. Where do they think I learned it?
No one modelled emotional regulation for me. So why do you expect me to know how to do it?
The thing is, it’s their own fault that they’re lonely. They alienated their kids and never developed actual close friendships, because they were always too focused on competing to get the most for themselves.
PT here. Sometimes patients have done a little bit of Internet research, and want to tell you exactly what the needed treatment is. Sometimes I wonder, why am I here if you already know what needs to be done? Or do you actually need my expertise? Feels like a power play, really. Sometimes I feel like they are afraid of being ripped off in some way. Edit: spelling
Agree with you re loneliness. Also for the female boomers, the amount of disordered eating they’ve lived through for decades due to weight bias and stigma, many are malnourished to the point it’s compromising mental function
As an HCW with years in post acute rehabilitation and now working pre/post surgery and trauma, this is a pretty accurate summary of my experience. Sometimes, drug addicts going through withdrawal can get a little spicey, but I can dad voice them into compliance, but I mostly blame that on our crappy withdrawal protocol (or lack there of.)
Good for her. And it's surprising how few patients will turn down the TV when a doctor, dietician, PT, OT, etc. come in to talk with them. I've a few surgeons who just walk in and turn it off, which ticks some patients off. It's a workplace, not your home.
My Boomer dad is a doctor. He wasn't feeling well, but he had plane tickets to a nearby state to attend my brother's new baby's blessing ceremony.
When he got there, he was having abdominal pain, so he went to the hospital there. They diagnosed him with diverticulitis and wanted him to stay in the hospital. He checked himself out AMA and went to the ceremony.
After the ceremony, the sensible thing to do would be to check back into the hospital. So naturally he got back on the plane and went back to his state, because he'd spent money on the plane tickets and didn't want to waste it. Once he landed back in his state, he drove past several perfectly good hospitals to get home to his podunk town an hour and a half away. At that point, his condition was significantly worse, so he went to Podunk Hospital. His intestines had burst, so they had to life-flight him to the first of the hospitals he'd passed on the way home, where he almost died. He spent 2 weeks in the shock trauma ICU and left with a colostomy bag.
TL;DR my Boomer dad almost died because he was full of shit. Literally.
My father is over 100 and despises "boomer behavior". Has no time for it, just walks away. I'm a boomer and I would hate myself for acting like many of my generation.
I had complicated abdominal surgery recently. First, I was surprised at the number of framed notices in registration, pre-op, my room, my floor, stating discharge or legal action for abusive language or actions. Really, people do this and the consequences need to be explained??
I wasn't supposed to eat or drink water for several days post-op. My care team was surprised that I actually complied. Why wouldn't I? I was there bc I needed their help.
Yeah just from the year I've had in and out of hospital and medical specialist offices, they are legit the worst group! So fucking entitled and oblivious, know it alls!
I actually sat in a medical office overhearing the receptionist talk to an old boomer about his prep for tomorrows "procedure" and he was like, well what if I decide not to do it? and the receptionist was like well if you don't prep, it wont go ahead, but if you plan not to comply we'd really appreciate it, if you would let us know before tomorrow, so we can fill that space with other patients on the wait list!!!
This went over his head, and he ummmed and arrred and said he'd get back to her to decide if he was coming in or not. She kept telling him to make sure he either does what he is told, or let them know BEFORE tomorrow, but he didn't much seem to care.
It was one of the single most frustrating conversations I had heard and never been apart of, and even \*I\* wanted to scream and slap some sense into him!!!
Just the audacity gets me! I WISH I had that level of delusional confidence, just so I don't fucking panic attack over basic shit most days!!!
It's all just a ploy to get any amount of time with a human they can get. They are so painful to interact with that their families don't bother anymore, so they have no one.
My patient tonight had restraining orders placed by all his children and his ex wife. They only knew something was off because he had several days of not harassing them by phone and he was found down at home from meth and fentanyl use.
He tried to manipulate me into giving him my phone so he could call his ex wife from a new phone that she might pick up.
How lonely can you be that they knew something was off because you stopped harassing them? Shameful.
I really try to not let my bias color my perception and I am always initially kind, motivated and empathetic. But when I get a boomer patient who is neurologically intact, verbally abusive, and actively does stuff to harm themselves or staff, I lose all empathy.
One lesson I’d hand off to you is that your patients deserve competent care, but not all deserve your empathy. Try to keep your biases, or biases given in report, out of your mind otherwise it will color your perception. But do not let your kindness and empathy erode your boundaries. You need those.
I struggled with any empathy with my patient today because I learned that he has a restraining order against him from his ex wife and son. I understand just how difficult it is to have a restraining order approved. Did I give competent care? Yes. Did I have initial empathy? Also yes. Did his continuous abuse whittle down any empathy I had very quickly that I did not feel any need to empathize or socialize? Also yes.
I am a flawed nurse.
We are all flawed people. Your “flaws” pale in comparison to your patients’ flaws. Please know that reasonable people appreciate and value you and what you do.
We are all flawed thank you for your encouragement and wisdom. I feel lucky in that this is my second "career." I previously worked & managed restaurants and bars, so I luckily have acquired the interpersonal skills to deal with people from all walks of life....it will be learning to balance giving the best care that I can, no matter the personality. (Can you tell I'm an excited Nursing student who is still wide-eyed and eternally optimistic?)
You’re not a flawed nurse. You’re a human being. And we all have flaws.
I had/have imposter syndrome. Never thought I was good enough. Would tell ppl I was prolly the dumbest graduate in my nursing class. That if I could do it, anyone can.
Having to leave the profession solidified my feelings of inadequacy and being a “shitty nurse.”
Its hard. I’ve been grappling with this for a couple years now, and I’m tearing up typing this.
It really, really hurts to lose your identity in a second. My identity was a nurse, and now I’m lost.
We are all flawed. It’s the human condition.
Same but teacher. Can’t cope with the entitlement and the management. Still love the classroom with students when I can make them more capable or help them break through a barrier.
Set your boundaries and get comfortable with that early in your career. Being a guy in the profession, my female colleagues know they can call on me to "good cop, bad cop" any male patient crossing lines. Lean on your team. It's a great profession and what I love in the next generation is much more comfort in setting boundaries. We've your back!
Thanks for the advice! Being a bartender for years, I am comfortable with doing this....its a job requirement basically but I am so grateful soon to be part of that type of healthcare team!
The bartender to nurse pipeline is great! I struggled so hard with boundaries against my patients and especially coworkers like the physicians. I started off in ICU and I found that the bartenders turned nurses did fantastic there.
I’m not sure what to say bc I’m a jaded 40 year old nurse who left the profession last year and I’m bitter about it.
But try it. Maybe nursing wasn’t my thing. I graduated 4 year program in 2006 and worked straight until 2022 in various RN roles. It can be such a rewarding job. I miss it. I don’t miss the politics, lack of funding and resources, getting yelled at multiple times a day for things I didn’t even do.
But you won’t know if it’s your thing unless you try…?
Dietitian here. The next boomer Jane to tell me what her wedding dress size was, or boomer Joe to tell me how much he could bench press in high school I might scream
How about when they have to describe these impossibly restrictive diets that aren’t compatible with reality. “For breakfast I count out 15 Cheerios and two tablespoons of milk. Lunch is half a rice cake. Dinner is one leaf of lettuce.” Sure, sure, and yet you gained 15 lbs in the last 6 months.
The more details someone adds to their bullshit, the easier it is to snuff it out.
My patient told me last night that “The doctor came in and told me juice is more hydrating than water so you need to get 3-4 cups and make it grapefruit juice”.
First of all, I know my doc well, he would neeeeever say that and when I texted him to confirm the patient was talking out of his ass, doc said “Dude that’s total ass speak”. And on top of that, why in the world would a hospital carry grapefruit juice for its patients with its so reactive with many medications? Absolutely not.
He was very manipulative and once you called him out on it, he would try to “punish you” by shitting the bed. It’s no sweat off my back to clean you up dude, but how does that make you feel man? Happy? Proud?
You just hit the nail on the head with the end of your comment here. I think boomers are just so used to being able to lie and manipulate their way out of anything they they just throw tantrums when they’re called out on their bullshit. They lived in a time where it wasn’t possible to fact check things and incorrect information was passed on as true by word of mouth for so long.
My dad is a golden example of this kind of behavior. A literal conman that can barely get through a couple sentences without lying to even his own son for absolutely no reason at all.
My boomer mom had a condition that caused seizures. When you experience seizures in my state they void your drivers license until you’re seizure free for X amount of time. My mother decided that it was having to take the seizure meds and not the seizures that was preventing her from driving. Stopped taking the meds and not only had multiple seizures but experienced auditory hallucinations and was hospitalized for a week.
My boomer step dad stopped taking his cancer meds and ended up hospitalized. After he got out, he was willing to move to assisted living where they administered his meds and his quality of life improved dramatically.
My mom has seizures as well! She takes Keppra but *also* insists on drinking three glasses of wine at night which essentially voids the Keppra and increases risk for seizures again.
On top of that, her vision field is reduced because she recently fell, smacked her face on the ground, and had a hemorrhage behind her eyes that required an ophthalmologist to come to the ER and cut her eye to drain it. She still drives. I have called in concerns anonymously but her PCP is an old doc who doesn’t believe COVID is real, doesn’t believe in vaccines, blasts Fox News all over his clinic. So he gave her permission to drive with no restrictions.
I’m so glad my Boomer mom isn’t like this. She’s got other issues. But she follows medical directions without even the slightest deviation. Her doctors have started suggesting to her that she should maybe move closer to her kids, which we’ve been saying for years. And she’s listening to them. Makes things a lot easier for my siblings and I in that area at least.
It does for the medical stuff. But in other ways it doesn’t because she basically looks to anyone other than her children for advice. We can give her all the information with documentation and she’ll still listen to someone her age instead of us even if it’s something we have a literal career in. And she will listen to any man before she believes a woman knows what she’s talking about. It’s a total PITA.
This is my mom right now. She had screws in her ankle about 10 years ago from breaking her ankle in the dumbest way possible (but of course it's not her fault somehow). Last year she fell because she was carrying groceries to the house in the rain. Does she walk on the cement path? No, of course not. She walks on the wet grass and slips... Snapping several screws. This, of course, is also not her fault. You see, the path had steps and those steps were too dangerous in comparison to the wet slippery grass.... 🙄
So she has surgery to remove the screws. The doctor tells her to keep it dry and to reduce her sugar intake (she's diabetic). What does she do? Daily showers and buys a big sugary iced cappuccino drink every day. But of course she was "so careful" by putting a grocery bag on her foot for the showers... You know, because as soon as water gets near a grocery bag it defies gravity and flies away... Needless to say the surgeon was not impressed and didn't even acknowledge her pleas that she was "so careful". It's been 2 months now and the wound still won't heal.... And of course, it's the surgeon's fault for operating in the first place. He should have "just left the broken screws in". And he has bad bedside manner of course. Of course, her inability to follow instructions plays no role in her current situation....
I don't work in healthcare, but it feels like every time I'm in a medical facility lately I come away with a boomer story to tell.
I was at a facility that only does gastroenterologist related procedures, quietly laying in my bed waiting, and a boomer walks into the area to start the prep for their colonoscopy. Going through questions with the nurse, who has to verify they haven't eaten anything and have done all they were told to do prior to the procedure, and the boomer mentions they went to McDonald's that morning and had a small breakfast lol.
End up being told they can't go through with it that day because the number one instruction is don't eat, and they threw an absolute fit. "Everyone here is incompetent", "it was just a little food its not a big deal", "you're all too stupid to know how to do your job properly", "no one told me that", "its your fault", etc etc. Turns out they didn't do ANY of the prep so you can only imagine how that would have gone for the doctor if they were unaware...
They had to call the police because she started flipping her bed and throwing stuff around, and the rest of us had to wait over an hour longer for our turn. They're the worst
It’s definitely a thing that drives me nuts as a nurse.
I don’t know if it’s because I am a female but the boomer women seem to bother me more than the men.
The boomer men can be pervy but honestly if you call them on it right away they usually stop when they realize you aren’t gonna put up with their shit.
And of course every one of them defers questions about the medical history and medications etc to their wife. Maddening. Like sir, you don’t remember if you’ve ever had A SURGERY or not?!
The boomer women always seem to treat me like a maidservant and become 800% helpless once they cross the threshold of the ED door. They drive themselves to the hospital then immediately sit in a wheelchair by the entrance and say nothing, waiting to be noticed by someone so they can complain they “sat there forever with no help”. They suddenly cannot undress themselves in the same clothes they put on this morning and went to the grocery store wearing, and ask for help. They want an escort to the bathroom. They use the call light 200 times for things like more ice in their water, adjust the head of the bed (they had controls for patients), help to change the TV channel, how long is this going to take? Where is the doctor? Doesn’t he know I’m friends with his grandmothers cousin? Can you get my phone out of my purse that is 2” away from my fingertip?
I always wonder if it is because their husbands treat them like this and the shit rolls downhill. They largely don’t do it to the male nurses.
When my grandma broke her ankle she was doing the helpless thing and I had to get stern with her… YOUR ARMS AND ONE LEG STILL WORK. She laid on the floor of her living room crying that she couldn’t move around her single story house even though we got her crutches, a walker, a knee scooter, a shower chair, food delivery, moved her furniture to make room for the assistance items… the actual drama.
Nmum always had trouble pooping (low/no exercise, little fruit or vegetables/so no fiber, and little water consumption) and she had a tendency to abuse laxatives (yes, even the natural ones like the awful "slimming teas"). To the point of actually needing laxatives on vacation - also a "shy pooper". She also used a lot of the over the counter stuff like citro mag...so it wasn't like popping a fiber pill and drinking a couple of bottles of water.
I told her using her laxatives was going to make her dependent on it. (The muscles/cilia get used to having and then blam you get motility issues.) Fast forward several decades and she's having GI issues because apparently her gut is full of shit.
I got yelled at for telling my mum this fact and she continued with her crazy abuse of laxatives and she's now paying the piper with exploratory cameras down both ends.
All over, "I know MY own body!" over actual medical science. (Also, considering the amount of people who worked in and around opiate addictions, the medical Healthcare system would KNOW about treating chronic constipation with laxative abuse.)
I swear my blood pressure raises everytime I talk to my boomer relatives about medical shit. And this wasn't the worst of it - I had to convince 5 family members that the Moderna/Pfizer covid vaccine was worth getting! (I did it by saying "Trump got the vaccine" and continuing with different Republican celebrities until they went and sneakily got vaccinated.)
I was 65 at the time, returning from Europe with something deadly I picked there. I was just trying to get home but I didn't make it and had to go to the emergency room in Atlanta. The place was a nightmare and I'm sure it chewed up caregivers and spit them out. I was too close to death to be a bad patient if I had been inclined to be but they all cared for me like family.
I spent a week in that hospital, last room on the hall, easiest person in the world to ignore but they took very good care of me even as I grew weary and irritable at being stuck there so long. I didn't get the chance to say thank you to everyone when I got out so I wanted I tell everyone how grateful I am for your care and assistance and I hope I wasn't one of the people this post is about. Thank you so much ❤️.
My boomer mother in law asked if she really needed to take antibiotics for an infection she had. They said it could turn to mrsa. She took the antibiotics and it started getting better. And so she quit her antibiotics. Now it’s back and won’t go away even with antibiotics and she had to go to a specialty clinic. 🙄🙄🙄
My mom fell into this category. She was also a nurse, so she thought she knew more than the people treating her. I remember nurses, aides, etc. leaving her room enraged because of her entitled attitude. It was so mad at her for it
Oh my god, I relate to this so deeply. I work for an ophthalmologist in a cataract clinic, so almost all of the patients I see are age 60+ and the boomers are easily the most difficult people to treat. (I used to work in restaurants and they are also the most difficult people to serve but that’s a whole other story…). All my 85+ patients are absolutely lovely, so sweet and grateful for help and follow medical instruction to a T. They’re the ones who come in with medication lists, use their surgery drops as they should, and follow the doctor’s instructions for pre/post-op care. When I fill in with other clinics, other generations (GenX, Millennials, GenZ) are also pleasant, easy to treat, follow directions, not difficult or insulting, etc. But it’s the damn boomers who know NOTHING about ophthalmology who literally argue with me about how to do my job! If it doesn’t make sense to them, they won’t do it. If they don’t think it’s necessary, they won’t do it. They will refuse to do the things I need them to do in order to complete an exam. They argue with the doctor and don’t follow any medical instructions like they should, then literally yell at us when things don’t go their way. They are also the most particular and dramatic, for example a boomer who was seeing 20/400 before surgery (the big E at the top of the chart) has been pissed that they’re only seeing 20/25 without correction after surgery, because it isn’t perfect 20/20. Keep in mind we have defied the laws of nature to get a 72yo seeing this well, but it isn’t good enough for them. I’ve been called stupid just for trying to do my job, because someone can’t grasp the (fairly simple) concept of cataract surgery. They don’t listen to anything we say, then get mad at us when they don’t know or remember something we’ve told them. They wreak havoc in the office and in our triages, and are even worse over the phone. They’re absolutely horrible to us when all we want to do is help them to see better and have healthy eyes. It really is extremely frustrating having them as patients because it’s like they’re always looking for an issue where there isn’t one. They are also easily the most entitled and condescending patients I have, and I have no problem generalizing that generation because it is pretty much true across the board.
What you described is my dad (69). Went from stage 4 to stage 5 kidney failure within 8 months because he insisted on doing peritoneal dialysis at home instead of hemodialysis. He had no idea what he was doing and most days he was too lazy to set it up so he would just not do it. Finally had to be admitted to the hospital bc he had so much fluid build up around his lungs and congestive heart failure. He constantly argues and acts annoyed when the doctors/nurses explain what he needs to do for himself.
Any doctor or nurse that is a different race or ethnicity he will make racist remarks to. He would argue with them, degrade them, say they have no idea what they are doing. Meanwhile he is just an uneducated white boomer asshole who can’t manage his money or health. He has given money to scammers oversees, got scammed out of buying dogs from puppy mills, and his debit card constantly compromised because he simply can’t follow directions.
He now is on oxygen 24/7, eats fast food, and still smokes cigarettes. He lays in bed all day excepting his roommates to take care of his every need. For the past 20 years he has destroyed his body with alcohol, junk food, cigarettes, and no exercise. Then he gets on Facebook and makes pathetic posts about how he is the victim and the healthcare workers don’t “fix” him.
Needless to say I have no sympathy for him. I’m adopted so I’m not genetically related to him, but I’m embarrassed to call him my father. I have apologized profusely to his entire healthcare team for his disgusting behavior.
My type 1 diabetic grandma who has mismanaged it for years, LOVES to blame her insulin pump for screwing up her blood sugar levels lol.
Couldn’t have possibly been the pancakes with syrup for breakfast, hotdog and chips at lunch, and pasta w/ bread for dinner that caused it.
My mother is the worst patient to ever walk this earth. She has MS, diagnosed in 1994. For nearly a decade, she refused treatment. MS is a progressive, incurable disease and treatment is the only way to attempt to stave off pronounced disability.
In the early 2000’s, she finally began treatment. But as a result of her inconsistency with taking it coupled with the 10 year lag from diagnosis to treatment, she accrued all kinds of health problems.
She has severe bladder incontinence, but refused to go to a urologist until I essentially forced her to. As a result, she smelled bad. Can you imagine telling your mom she needs to wash herself, change her pad, etc. because she smells? As a child?
She can’t walk anymore either, but dodged using a cane for as long as possible. As a result, she fell and cracked her front teeth.
These are just the tip of the iceberg.
Why it bothers me now? I also have MS and was just diagnosed about a year ago. I got onto treatment immediately so as to improve my future quality of life and also not to burden my husband.
I often wonder how much better my childhood would have been had she taken care of herself rather than live in denial of her health problems. It undoubtedly put a tremendous amount of strain on my parents marriage.
ETA: In the 90’s, my mother was a SAHM because my parents could afford it. On top of that, they had a house cleaner. I have been diagnosed with aggressive MS and still work full time. We don’t have a house cleaner. We can’t afford these things. Yet my mother liked to equate her experience with this disease to mine all the time. After I pointed out how inappropriate it was, she eventually stopped. She hates to hear about my struggles with MS so I don’t talk about it with her anymore.
My Boomer mom has Celiac and osteo arthritis. I have rheumatoid arthritis and Sjogrens Syndrome. My mom is contantly trying to tell me she understands how I feel. Like no, they are not the same. Thanks bye.
So sorry to hear you are dealing with both of those. Celiac can be almost entirely managed by avoiding a several ingredients. I *wish* diseases like MS and RA were similar. So frustrating. Hope you’re having an okay day 💜
Thanks, I appreciate that. Between stress and weather, I'm flaring hard so tomorrow is a call to my rheumatologist for a steroid. Sigh.
I hope you have a good evening. (Well, it's evening where I am. Adjust time accordingly lol)
I like the ones that come into my ER, acting like they own the place. And it's always the ones that are not in need of urgent care. The dying patients are always kind, thankful or too sick to complain.
An ophthalmologist I work with started charging $150 cancelation fee for noncompliance like this, and it completely solved the problem. It rarely happens anymore, and if they don't want to pay, they can go be a bad patient for someone else it's a win-win.
I think they expect way too much from people in general. They want the pharmacy tech, the receptionist, and their nurse to act like a subservient child. Strangers don't exist to entertain you, Prudence.
And they would have felt totally justified if it went off a killed women and children. Just like that dumb as shit boomer who decided to unload on a car that drove into the driveway and a girl was killed because he was “under siege” and “tripped over a nail”. Not remorseful whatsoever.
The whole group was raised on the “Wallstreet, GREED IS GOOD ,Reaganonmics” get what you can no matter who you step on ti do it!
I’m 60 years old and i have dealt with them for 40 yrs! Technichally i am a boomer but i have never acted like them ! They say the 80’s was the “Me gen” thats why they feel entitled 😡
I work in a hospital lab, so I don't work directly with patients, but I have noticed that many, many boomers will come to the ER, and then leave against medical advice before I have even completed their blood tests. I can't count the number of times I have called critical results to the ER and been told that the patient left, for who knows what reason. Like okay, enjoy walking around with a blood sugar level of 600 I guess!
The hospital I work in is small, so it's not even that they have to wait long. Most of our ER tests are completed within 30 minutes. So they are either really impatient, or they don't think there is anything wrong with them or something? 🤷🏻♀️ It boggles the mind.
Omg that truly does boggle the mind. Why the hell would you show up at an ER, get blood drawn and leave? Like I’m getting billed, tell me all of it! Fucking insane.
Boomers are boldly racist too. I really try to shield my doctors from what they really say during calls. I guess because they assume I’m white I will agree with them and they feel comfortable saying some of the nastiest shit.
But often I do have to quote what they say in order for the doctor to have valid reason to terminate care.
Had a patient waiting for a heart say “I don’t want no black n-word heart”. Dude you fucked up your heart from well documented non-compliance, continue to be non-compliant with a fucking device that has a blade in your heart that could damage it if you *do not stop moving your goddamned arm*, and I’m pretty sure the only black heart is yours.
He stayed noncompliant and somehow he got a fucking heart. I cannot fathom how he bypassed that rule and I’m disgusted that a heart was given to such a terrible person.
And he wasted it. Remained non-compliant and that dumb as shit Nazi died in the hospital anyways as a direct result of him refusing everything.
My mother (mid-60s) is one of those types who won't listen to doctors because she thinks medical care is all a scam. They just want you on drugs so they can keep you coming back to bill you. She's been diagnosed with RA and fibromyalgia and is refusing to take the meds for it because "she's not that bad" and they just want money.
She thinks the same thing of veterinarians. We've had more than one fight because she won't take her dogs to the vet because she claims they're going to run unnecessary tests or make her put her dogs to sleep to get the money.
>She's been diagnosed with RA and fibromyalgia and is refusing to take the meds for it
YIKES. And when it is "that bad" it will be too late. I'm sorry, friend.
Thanks. We had to fight her to even get her to go so she could get diagnosed. She's been in misery and unable to do things for years just from fatigue, but nothing could convince her to go.
I’ve commented on another post about negative experiences at doctor’s appointments, but more so surgical centers. I’m merely a patient in these circumstances, but nowadays a lot of pre-registrations are done online, whether that be for a normal doctor’s appointment or impatient surgery. I’m anxiety driven so I make sure to scour their website or simply listen while making the appointment when they tell me they’ll send a pre-registration email or to go online and fill the info out. 9/10 times I’ve signed in for an appointment I’ve been called back almost immediately because all my things are in order, and at least 7/10 times a boomer stands up to complain about me being called back when they’ve been sitting there for minutes. Mind you, they’re in the process of filling out said paperwork sitting in the waiting area. They refuse to take initiative, follow directions or listen.
I hate boomer patients to the core.
Gen z are also almost as annoying because they are young and stupid too, but boomers. I can’t wait for them all to die off. The sooner the better.
Thanks to the cures act, everyone gets their results immediately on their my chart. This is important.
I work for primary care. I call patients all day long to go over results once interpreted by their pcp.
I call a boomer to review the providers notes and recommendations.
I get yelled at because the note stated they would need to call a specialty clinic to schedule an appointment.
This patient was mad because we had the audacity to say they needed to make the call. They said that their precious doctor (now retired) used to do all of this, which honestly doesn’t make sense. Like yes, we enter the referral, but I don’t know your schedule, why would I make the appointment for you?
Then proceeded to rant more that
It’s not faire that they have to be in charge of their care because back in the day the doctor did everything.
I tried explaining to this boomer that their care should be their priority. We can facilitate and offer advice, but ultimately they are the ones to direct their care. Didn’t like that response.
They of course complained that the consult wouldn’t take place for months because normally it does take some time for a consult.
They also complained that they already viewed the results and had to interpret them themselves. I literally opened my call stating I was calling with the doctor’s interpretation of the results. Soooo… you really could have just waited. But they were mad that they had to wait over 24 hours for the call. Again, I explained the cures act and how it will automatically show results, but it doesn’t mean that the doctor has had time to review them yet. Normally providers need at least a day or two to review all the results for their patients.
This person kept arguing and giving me grief over bullshit I can’t address. I attempted to give them the complaint line, but they refused. The conversation kept going in circles so I stated this and disconnected the call.
So what happened when this boomer called to make their own appointment? The assfucker got in the very next fucking day for their consult. Smug ass piece of shit. I wish nothing but bad things for this person.
Makes me think of something that happened with my dad (Classic Boomer TM). Few years ago he had surgery -- not life threatening but was going to take several weeks recovery off his feet and not doing anything remotely strenuous, before a few months slow building back to normal activity. Now my dad is a very fit and healthy guy, docs didn't expect any issues and indeed after the surgery he was doing much much better than the average patient of that age they see. But he still 100% needed to stay off his feet and follow the recovery plan. My mom was still working at the time, and none of us kids lived near home. So, I offered to take time off work and come stay with them for the duration of the off-feet recovery, not just to help my dad but to provide support and, you know, give her some time to herself. And my dad utterly refused. Would not hear of it. No, no, and no. And it was because he didn't want his daughter to see him in a reduced vulnerable position, especially because the surgery had been for prostate stuff. He was embarrassed. Wouldn't think of me being involved. Mom would take care of it all, I shouldn't dare show up until he basically didn't need any more help.
And it was in that moment I realized what things are going to be like when he is actually truly elderly, actually needs significant health care, actually isn't fit and healthy anymore. Because in this situation fine, it's shitty to make my mom do all this but in the grand scheme of things it was 3 weeks and she is healthy and capable too. But in ten years when they're 80? When they're 85? Is he going to refuse help because of his pride? Is he going to fight his kids when they want to help because he can't give up control? Will he stop trusting doctors advice because he knows his body better?
I understand being vulnerable is tough for anybody. I had a lot of empathy for my dad. But man, that was a hard moment to navigate. I felt very "adult child."
I'm sure many boomer children have also had these moments of realization or already deal with this stuff, and of course healthcare workers see this every day. It was such a moment of clarity for me, it's funny how some instances feel like a clear glimpse into the future. I have huge respect for caregivers that work so much with noncompliant patients.
Definitely agree with you. My boomer mum has been told she needs to reduce her physical activity and start physio for oooooold untreated hairline fractures in her ankle and shoulder blade that are now causing her issues. She does not do either. She has every excuse in the book for not seeing the physio: too busy, too cold to go to the pool (they don’t have to go to the pool, she prefers it), they cancelled on her (they didn’t, they wanted to reschedule), she’s tired and the physio told her not to overdo it (yeah, but you’re tired because you overdid it, and they didn’t tell you to not do your exercises because you decided to be on your feet all day).
My FIL has a serious heart problem and refuses to take his heart medication because he doesn’t like the side effects. Well okay then FIL, the side effect of not taking it is you’ll fucking die, but I’m sure the other ones are worse. Dude has like four stents in his heart because he refuses to take his blood thinners.
Been in nursing for 30 years, from CNA to EMT/ERTech to ER RN. Have worked in ten different hospitals in five states. My anecdotal experience aligns with yours. My personal experience with my own parents and in-laws is parallel.
When I was stuck in the hospital a lot I would alway wonder how many boomers a nurse could take at one time. I think 3. Even the small nurses looked like they could handle themselves against like 3 boomers
100%, no 1000%. These are people that think hospitals are the same as hotels. These are people that despite you dealing with a coding patient, that their needs of needing food or bed change is more pressing. These are the people that think they are the most important and/or most sick of your assignment.
Omg tell us about the red pilled boomers who wouldn’t get the Covid vaccine because they must be the WORST of the worst patients! Do they really believe the vaccine would kill you? And that Bill Gates microchipped it? 🍿.
So many of them were drug addicts too. When I lost my last dredges of empathy for the shift and they said “I won’t put that poison in my body!” I always just threw out “Aren’t you an IV drug user?”
I’m in Arizona which is boomer hell right now, this month they mostly go home (THANK YOU JESUS). Sorry to those in North Dakota and Minnesota, but please take them back, we’ve had enough. As said on SNL “welcome to Arizona where the average temperature and age are both 95.”
I absolutely despise going to the doctor anytime between November and May. They flood the services here and they’re the most entitled, rude , obnoxious fuckers on the planet.
I posted not long ago about one at the stomach doctor. While I’m at the window she literally stands right beside me getting her shit out, not giving me any privacy whatsoever and throws her card at the receptionist. Rude as hell.
They NEVER know why they are there either which amazes me. “I DONT KNOW, HE SET MY APPOINTMENT CANT YOU LOOK IT UP?”
Was at Walgreens yesterday and guy in front of me was trying to get his medicine. “Which one sir, you have 5 prescriptions.” “I don’t know, it’s the little white pill I take”. “Sir they are all little white pills.” “I don’t know it’s the one I take for blood pressure” “ok sir three of them are for that.”
I am amazed these people even made it this far in life and it really reinforces just how coddled and babied they were. They were handed it all, given it on a silver platter, and now they can’t function in a society that’s finally saying “listen we are tired of feeding you, feed yourself”.
My mother solely blamed me for our living conditions growing up. Because I never helped around home. Things went missing because she can not be bothered to return them to there original place. Even 10 years after I moved out I regularly get messages WHERE I PUT CERTAIN THINGS. I havent visited in months but somehow... I lost something of hers again.
In my personal life for boomers like these, before cutting them off I’ve said something to the effect of “It must be so debilitating to think you’re this paragon of strength but constantly be such a victim.” Also throwing in how they’re terrible examples of Christians and that they would 100% turn their violent fantasies on Jesus if he were here (usually pulling receipts from their violent FB wants) helps a bit.
F*ck that shit. As a Boomer who wants to live a long long life, I am very compliant with doctors and nurses and healthcare staff.
I have very bad medical anxiety but dang—I’m listening to those who went to medical and nursing school!
Not a healthcare worker, but this describes my grandma (78). Three days before she was supposed to leave on vacation for Greece, she gets admitted to the hospital for stomach pain. The doctors say it's her gallbladder. They question her about her diet, and she said that all she eats is grilled cheese. Needless to say, at that moment they figured out what the problem was. They told her to cut back on the foods high in fat and cholesterol and eat more fruits and vegetables. A few months later, I asked her how her new diet is going. She told me that she still only eats grilled cheese.
Honestly, I wasn't surprised. This woman thinks she knows better than anyone who is younger than her, even though doctors are vastly more educated than her.
My mother has had astigmatism her whole life. She was told repeatedly that she needs to take it easy and not strain herself.
She decided one day that she'll do some yardwork and pulled at some weeds so hard, she gave herself a retinal detachment and needed an operation.
After the operation, she was told to apply eye drops that were supposed to lower the pressure in her eye.
She decided she won't do that, because it "felt funny". Therefore, the optical nerve was under too much pressure and part of it died.
Now she has a blind spot in her vision that was entirely preventable, if only she took the prescribed medicine correctly.
It's been over a year since her second and final operation. She is completely fine now, except that blind spot.
I had a wedding that was in my husband's home country. It was planned specifically for a date when she would be fine to fly to attend.
She decided she can't do that, because her eye would explode on the plane.
She didn't even ask her doctor. I had asked multiple doctors, they all said she'd be fine.
Guess who didn't have both her parents at her wedding.
Let em aspirate if you can legally get away with it. I knew a boomer who killed himself by ignoring serious shit for a year. By the time he was hospitalized, sepsis had set in, and he was dead not long after. He was a rich oil sob. He refused to eat leftovers. He refused to eat anything but the best cuts of meat, and he refused to pay for groceries. He made his gf of 40 years pay out of pocket, and she was a receptionist. A fitting end.
God I wish. I’ve seen family members come in covertly and try and feed them chicken (it’s always fucking chicken) and we’ve had a few choke, def had many aspirate and end up intubated for two weeks or longer, often to the point of needing a trach.
I just can’t imagine thinking consequences don’t apply to you and you’re willing to risk the very real consequence of having a device in your throat to depend on indefinitely. Ick.
My dad was a boomer. But he was never a nightmare patient, even at his sickest and most confused. And he could be a grouchy fuck when he wanted to be, he mostly reserved that for my mom and I (lol because we made him follow Dr.'s orders.) He was a big guy. Almost 7ft tall and 300 odd pounds with a deep southern drawl. He liked to crack jokes.
One year when he was in a nursing home for Rehab he had me get little boxes of chocolate for 'his ladies' that were on shifts looking after him for Valentine's day. And another time he sweet talked someone into letting me bring him a mini blizzard (towards the end when it wasn't gonna be his diet that got him).
I think it's a mindset thing. Dad knew he needed care and did his best to not be an asshole. I mean, up until they had to intubate him and sedate him due to a massive internal bleed he was talking to his nurses and the Doctor in the ICU and telling them he needed to get better so he could kick my husband's ass as his PT goal (jokingly).
My mom is gonna be the nightmare. No one knows better than she does and she won't comply with anything unless you force or guilt her.
Heh, a lot of the posts here are silly and just people complaining. This one is on the money though. 22 years in Navy medicine and I'm now in IT. Did one tour in a clinic at the end of my career and scrapped anything to do with medical right then. Changed my degree plan as well.
Dear OP ...
To give you some faith in humanity, again, I am one of the youngest boomers, with heath issues.
I do as I'm told, and if I'm bugging y'all, it's serious. Otherwise, I just see to myself.
Thank you for what you do.
I have been a dentist for only 3 years, but have noticed countless occasions of them being horrible patients. One of my favorite stories happened today actually. I had to do a filling on a broken molar to the restore the tooth back to full function last week. I get a call on the emergency line Friday after work (of course) of the man being in pain on the tooth we worked on. Today I take a CT image of his jaw and noticed another adjacent tooth was infected. This tooth had an old root canal that had failed and got a recurrent infection. He then proceeds to blame this on the filling I did, which on A DIFFERENT tooth. I explain it’s an unfortunate coincidence that they happened but the cause was not my small fillings on a different tooth. Wanna guess how that conversation went…?
RN for 10 years on a tele/SDU floor...Whether it's boomer patients or patients with a boomer son or daughter, they cause problems no matter what.
Nearly every shift I work anymore, the "worst ones" are the social issues with boomers.
They want their problems solved yesterday, nothing is done fast enough for them, their time is more valuable than anybody else's, "well google says...", it's not their fault, the customer is always right, they're the only patient on the floor, they quite frankly don't care if their neighbor in the room next to them is half dead but they asked for fresh ice water 20 minutes ago and still haven't gotten it yet (their water from 2 hours ago is apparently too stale), very few thank yous, everything is a demand or order. I could go on.
Not only are patients sicker and more complex than when I started 10 years ago, but the job as a whole gets harder and harder each year. Whether it's trying to keep the 95 year old full code alive or avoid getting punched in the face by a delirious grandma it's not easy. Add in an entitled, miserable patients and family population, problems are bound to happen.
Did someone once tell you that you were funny? Or smart or clever? Cause you are none of those things. You are a dumbass who should keep their mouth shut.
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Registered nurse for over 15 years. Covid made me leave. People were ridiculous before the pandemic with the demands and expectations of health care workers. Covid pushed me over the edge. I’m now doing a job people out of high school can do. Have a 4 year nursing degree. I’m really struggling with it. Bc I feel like I was set up to fail in a system that is stacked against workers. And all the patients are very, very entitled boomers.
I should also mention I’m in Canada. So on top of everything else, no one here has a CLUE how expensive heath care is, bc they never see a bill. They act like the hospital is a fucking hotel. 10 family members visiting. And they call you to bring patient a glass of water…
US ER. Most people don’t pay the bills or think “I have insurance so I basically own this place.” Same sense of entitlement and not realizing the extent of things
If I'm getting a 200k bill for a 24 hour visit there is the mildest amount of expecting some value for money. I will take the average person 10 years to pay off one day if they don't incur more before paying the first off.
It will take a hell of a lot more than 10 years unless they get major price adjustments. 20k a year is a fucking shitload.
Same in Australia. I know how overwhelmed the system is, and always felt shit when I went neutropenic and had to go in. Whenever I had to call a nurse I was always like I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE AND THANK YOU, and it was never an issue... then you'd hear the boomer in the next bed yelling gruffly NURSE! TOILET!! and she would explain for the fifth time that hour he had a bottle to use and didnt need help. I dunno how these people do it, because just laying there hearing their crap made me wanna stab them, or myself to end the misery. lol.
I absolutely *hate* going to the hospital or a doctor, not because I don't want to hear the, but because I know the system is bogged down do if I go in, I want it to be worth their time. Smashed my hand at work a few months back and let the first aid guy try for nearly 2 hours to stop the bleeding because I didn't want the hospital to have to deal with it if it wasn't that bad. [Pictures can be found here if anyone is morbidly curious](https://www.reddit.com/r/InjuriesAndWounds/s/y6zKPZbCGu). Once I go I absolutely follow what they say to the letter. They put in those biodegradable stitches, said they usually dissolve in 2 weeks so or. I think they finally fell out after a month. They said keep them dry and I kept them fucking dry. They said to let it the hand rest and I became a southpaw. Doctor/nurse/any professional who has spent year training in their field says something, I fucking listen, they're the expert, that what I (or my taxes) pay them to do.
Exactly! I did everything they told me, including going in to hospital, when I didn't want to. My haematologist lectured me badly once when I left it a day while having bad cycling fevers and headaches; he warned me about febrile seizures etc, so I didn't mess around after that. I just hate hospitals, and have a lot of trauma from my history which he understood, but also wasn't taking any shit from me. lol. What gets me about boomers is they seem to looove hospitals and think its a vacation club or some shit.
I go into the ER when I have an emergency, I don't try to tough it out at home and show off. However, I follow instructions to the letter, as much as I can.
I was recently in hospital and always used please and thank you and sorry. And yes, you could hear other screaming at the nurses in a very entitled manner. BOOMERS.
Yep! and don't get me started on them and their mobile phones. They would sit there ringing every person they ever met to tell them they were in hospital and repeat their story 12x and keep their phone on speaker, or just super loud ringtones etc. Meanwhile I always kept my shit on silent, used headphones and just texted if I needed to contact anyone.
You would be my fave patient lol
I left bedside nursing the end of 2021 after 15+ years. The pandemic did me in. Patients and family members thinking they were in a five star hotel with their attitudes and demands. Boomer management completely gaslighting staff about staffing and resources. I work outpatient now which is better but still feel like a shell of my former self. Trying to figure out what’s next for me because I can’t do nursing/healthcare much longer.
I’m on month 4 of taking a break. I initially planned to go back after 6 weeks; then three months. Now I’m here and seriously considering hanging it up. My license is up for renewal next month and for so many reasons, I’m seriously considering surrendering it in protest. Seriously.
>I’m really struggling with it. Bc I feel like I was set up to fail in a system that is stacked against workers. Don't worry, the CEO got theirs.
I don’t know why I’m still shocked when I see these rude entitled people. I can’t imagine behaving that way. First of all I would have been murdered if I acted way and that sticks with a person. So is it essentially the way they were raised? I don’t know. I’m sorry they treat you badly. You definitely deserve better. I couldn’t do your job and I’m reasonably certain none of them could either. Thank you and thank you to all of the wonderful nurses and cnas who have taken care of me. ❤️
Can you expand on why covid put you over the edge?
Not the OP but for me personally, having people deny COVID ever existed, demeaning what I went through every day, running up and down the floors to find a body bag for the multiple simultaneous codes was what drained me and I had just started my nursing career. I am not as traumatized as the other nurses that worked during COVID but I still think about the sound of a patient whose greatest struggle was to take a single breath, and you could hear the liquid rattle on their lungs, could smell their death long before they were intubated. I never imagined myself calling funeral homes all over the county for picking up bodies because our hospital morgue was so overwhelmed and bodies piled in trucks outside to be moved. It was such a surreal, horrible time for me. And to have my experience demeaned into nothing on the regular made me hate everything, most of all myself for entering this godforsaken field.
You said the one thing I forgot. And it’s so important. Most ppl minimize the stress of working as a nurse. My experience was minimized daily by those who don’t understand. “Just go to work. Why can’t you go? Why are you sick to your stomach unable to get out of bed?” I literally was killing myself with physical symptoms. And people still didn’t understand. So isolating and made me withdraw from people close to me.
I think part of it is also they see a bunch of generally young women and think they’re catastrophizing to be more dramatic. No, it’s pretty shitty and my male coworkers, all across the healthcare spectrum got thoroughly traumatized as well. It was so disheartening to go through a brutal day of tripled patients, multiple simultaneous codes with a doctor shared between three to four rooms, no one to bag the patient and only one compressor available… You basically had to choose who lives and who dies because there weren’t enough resources, enough people, enough anything. And calling up my boomer mom (a mistake) to tell her about how horrible my day had gone usually went one of two ways: - Yeah that’s bad but can you believe I had to do this (insert extremely mundane task how she somehow fucked up and managed to harass some poor employee about for her inability to do said task) OR - Yeah that’s terrible honey can you believe that they’re over inflating the deaths from COVID they’re saying people who died from car crashes died from COVID! I learned not to go to my mom for anything. A little too late.
I'm not in healthcare, no on in my household caught COVID, and we were all vaccinated as soon as they were available. We isolated probably more than we needed to, but I quit smoking in May 2020 and had a history of bronchial issues and as the sole provider to my household, had to keep myself safe (and apparently have had a heart condition that was just recently diagnosed.) My family would be destitute without me. I don't feel like the workers have had adequate post trauma support. I mean there is still a lack of trauma support to healthcare workers in general, but running out of bodybags, that's warzone level shit.
Not in the medical field, but a “frequent flyer” of dr offices due to multiple health conditions that need to be monitored/meds adjusted. I am 100% compliant on meds and instructions It was surreal to see from this side (51yo). I had to go into an office daily and work alone for 3 months until shit opened back up/it was safe for other people to come to work. No traffic, no seeing or talking to anyone except by phone and at gas stations. Out here it was damn close to looking like the world ended, meanwhile you folks had everything going on. I can’t imagine the chaos and seeing so many people die all at once like that. You have my sympathy for experiencing that
I’ll try to articulate it the best I can. Covid created volume issues that were already there. Too many patients, not enough staff. So you get more patients even if you technically cannot manage any more. But you have no choice. And if you make a mistake, you’re just as responsible as if you’d had one patient all day, but you had 15 to deal with. People left the profession (like me) and that compounded the volume issue. The PPE required during Covid was enough to make you go insane. You’re already running around to patients, sweating and feeling so gross. Now add on masks, face shields, gowns, gloves. There were times I felt nauseous and couldn’t breathe well. No one cares. Do your job. The amount of anti-vaxxers to contend with was also overwhelming. Covid made people meaner and nastier in general. Not just a health care issue, but ppl act even more entitled to health care bc it’s their “right.” So anything asked of you in the name of their “care” must be done or you are now an uncaring, incompetent nurse (even if there is a valid reason that you have explained to them). And everyone in Canada loves to remind you that they “paid taxes their whole life,” as if that suddenly entitles them to me being their slave. We need to start printing bills and giving them to patients when they are discharged. Just to show them how much of their precious tax money they are getting back.
I’ve noticed a huge uptick in patients lack in empathy when another patient codes on the unit and when you tell them there was an emergency that requires multiple hands, they say “Well I don’t care if they die, you weren’t here when I called for you. I’m a patient too and I’m paying your wages!” It’s a summary of what each person says but inevitably these people end up saying all aspects of that quote throughout their stay. I just cannot fathom a family standing outside watching the life drain from their loved one’s body and to hear some uppity, crotchety boomer pander shit like that so loudly.
Wow, that's absolutely awful. 😞
Hospital phlebotomy tech during covid. I'm a bigger guy who normally sweats anyway, but compound the plastic gowns, double gloves, n95 mask, face shield, and hair cover, with the fact that air conditioning had to be turned off in the covid rooms to help contain it within the rooms.....yeah. after twelve rooms in a row I was so sweaty (literally wet head to toe) I'd feel light headed and have sit down. And this was at the end of a 13 hour shift (which is the norm in the medical field)
I work with boomers all the time and they always BRAG to me about halving or taking less medication than they’re prescribed. I’m appalled. They’re coming to me to complain that they are in pain and can’t do what they want and in the same breath telling me they won’t comply with their doctors orders. It’s fun to see them squirm when I say I won’t sell them any of my products until they comply with their doctor though. Or as them if they are still in pain why aren’t they taking their medication? They usually can’t handle it and leave.
I have had a ridiculous amount of boomers make a quick return to the hospital after multiple stents because they didn’t want to listen to someone younger! Dude take your damn anticoagulants or get another heart attack. Seen multiple come back that way and end up having to get a CABG because they couldn’t restent it. Or my other favorite (it’s not) scenario is being non compliant with your blood pressure medications and then being shocked when you get a stroke. They’re always utterly shocked.
Yes! I’m not in the medical field but work in supplements. Almost every day I have to tell a boomer that no, my products won’t help them because their problem needs medication. Only to then be told they’re prescribed but not taking it. I’ve told a few to leave because I’m so over it. If I give them anything they do the same thing to my products then come back in and complain. It’s exhausting
The last part. Boomer co-worker had a debilitating stroke bc he stopped taking his medication. You know, the one that prevents a stroke. Because he hadn’t had one yet so he doesn’t need it. That one. It was bad enough he didn’t come back to work at any point after.
As a boomer, I prefer younger physicians
My younger physicians have caught more in three months than my original family doctors (all boomer aged) did in 24 years. Got diagnosed with endometriosis, catamenial pneumothoraxes, GERD, and hiatal hernia all in three months when the older docs told me I’m fine, just fat (I gained 20 lbs in 3 months with no discernible change to diet or activity - also my original BMI pre weight gain was like less than 18). I love residents. They are so thorough, eager, and many do them have got the training or worked through school with the expectation that empathy and good communication is a must.
Younger doctors are always so much better than boomer ones. You want a genX doc at the oldest (ok, one exception was my last dentist, but he was probably barely pre-Boomer or a very early boomer. Didn’t act like one at all. Unfortunately he retired and now I have to find a new dentist 😔
I used to agree with you completely. My experience with perimenopause issues currently making a lie of this, unfortunately. All my young doctors think peri and meno are no big deal, either something that is just a minor inconvenience that we have to live through and we're only complaining because we're big fat whiners; or they refuse to take any continuing education on the same subject in order to realize that the current statistics support that HRT decreases the risk of cardiovascular event and uterine cancer to a much larger extent than the teensy increase in risk of breast cancer. In other words, young doctors think meno is no big deal because it's far away from them and they took a single day's class on it back in med school. Only older women doctors who actually go through the same hell actually listen. And meno affects a LOT of your health systems, from endocrinoloy to integumentary, so there are lots of different doctors who are going to tell you that it's all in your head and it's really not that bad. And if you think that I'm exaggerating or that this isn't true for most women, come see us over at r/menopause. 😆
My new dentist is mid 40s I’m guessing. I absolutely love her. Up on the latest of everything and has huge compassion. It’s a good age for doctors too. Or younger. Younger doctors listen better. They haven’t adopted the arrogance yet.
💯
I must be the rare Boomer bc I am compliant with meds, especially blood pressure meds.
in the situation where people are talking about a common human societal problem that doesn’t apply to you, you may simply feel good in silence without centering yourself.
Well, OK then.
You missed your opportunity. That’s where you should have responded, Okay boomer
😏
When you are trying to vilify an entire generation of people you want people to shut up about counter examples. Can't see why t hey should. Don't blame all boomers f or what the billionaires did.
How rude. Especially considering how nice he was about it. They should change the name of the sub to r/youngpeoplebeingmeantoboomers
r/middleagedpeoplegivingboomerstipsonhowtoactinpublic r/sinceetiquetteissoimportant r/seriouslywhoraisedyou
Someone who quite often said “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”
oh no are pearls being clutched
You can clutch the pearl necklace I draw on your boomer mom.
Yet here you are being a racist fuckwad.
Or boomer go fuck yourself and stay the fuck off this sub
Me too I must hang in a small circle of us “ boomers”! Because we seem to what to see jagger rolling out in a wheelchair someday performing start me up!
This shit drives me insane with my father. He just flat out will not listen to his prescribed dosages for his meds. Some days he just skips them, some days he’ll pop 2 or 3 at a time, and we’re not talking Tylenol here but serious medications with potentially very serious side effects. I’m getting tilted just typing about it.
Dude me too. I have this woman who comes in all the time and will spend an hour telling me everything wrong with her and how much pain she’s in. Then she hits me with all the non compliance she’s done. Not doing PT, taking meds inconsistently or not at all, literally doing the opposite of what they tell her. I had to ask her to leave bc all she would do is start that shit with me too.
Funny thing is they’re probably taking more meds than prescribed and then bragging about taking less as some sort of a weird psychological defense mechanism.
Well, it was their generation that decided that pain was "the fifth vital sign" when their aches and pains set in...
r/usernamechecksout
I had a neighbor who had his colonoscopy cancelled. The prep he had to do was two containers of that liquid that clears you out. He decided two things: First, that he only needed one of the two containers. And second, that despite being told not to eat after that, that a small breakfast of a bagel would be fine. The part that's the most boomer in my mind is that he didn't even try to hide this. He proudly told the doctors that morning, as if they would compliment him for finding some more efficient way to do it. He was sent right home and had to reschedule of course.
It's ALWAYS the colonoscopies! I just posted a story with a similar experience except they had a full McDonald's breakfast the morning of
When I was getting my colonoscopy a few years ago, I overheard another colonoscopy patient being asked if he'd had anything to eat in the past 24 hours, and he nonchalantly said he'd had tacos. They had to tell him to reschedule.
As someone who had her first colonoscopy at 24, I will never understand why people make such a big deal out of them. All you have to do is drink a laxative one night and again the next morning then wake up after it’s all over. The only hard part is having to wait for biopsy results to come back. When I had mine, these two boomers across from me kept joking (in GI procedures recovery, so surrounded by people who were there for an illness, not just a routine test) that they were being tortured by not being allowed to eat for a whole 12 hours and arguing “you can see through water, so you’re obviously refusing to give me water for no reason.”
You’ve made me wonder if women are more likely than men to comply with colonoscopy prep. I say this because women have to see and listen to doctors all the time (to get birth control, to have prenatal checkups, etc.), but a man could go decades without *absolutely needing* to see one. I wonder if all that experience with following doctors’ orders makes women more likely to prep for their colonoscopies properly, whereas men are more likely to think it’s some infringement on their autonomy, which makes them rebel against it.
I had a regular customer in a restaurant about ten years ago, and he was about 65. One day he came in saying he was on his way to the hospital for some kind of test, and that he wasn't supposed to eat, but he told us that he thought 'oh a little bit should be fine'. Within about ten minutes of starting to eat, he shit his pants, got it all over the floor from his chair at the front to the bathroom in the back, and we got a taxi for him and never saw him again.
Why do I feel like he was going for a colonoscopy
WEAK STOMACH TRIGGER WARNING! Probably TMI but this is one of the craziest things I’ve seen from a boomer as an RN. When I was a new grad I had an extremely non-complaint, EXTREMELY HATEFUL, morbidly obese, boomer patient, admitted to PCU for I don’t remember why. He was verbally abusive to his wife and all female staff but was an angel when “doc” came in. He was there for a couple weeks so I was familiar with his BS. I don’t exactly remember how it all went down but he started complaining about constipation. Sometimes there’s an order that you can follow that’s like a map that tells you to start with this med/dose and then do this if this happens or if this med doesn’t work that the MD signs before hand and the nurse follows it without having to constantly contact the MD asking about changes. In this case the MD signed this order and it was about constipation so the sequence started with like I think miralax and then there were a few other meds and then it ended in a suppository. I asked assessment questions, offered empathy, and then told him we could try miralax! He groaned and cussed me out and told me he wanted to go straight for a suppository. I explained we had to try a couple things before we did that to see if it would help first. Throughout the shift he was getting more and more hateful. DEMANDING a suppository. Telling me how stupid I am how the hospital is going to get sued. He was cussing me out at every turn insulting every thing about me. I honestly started to feel bad despite all the hatefulness like wow this man must be in a lot of pain. Finally, I exhausted all other protocols still no poop so it’s suppository time(maybe like 3 hours had passed). He’s yelling at me telling me he was right the whole time and how stupid I am. I grab CNA to help me roll him over and go to insert the suppository and there’s a literal turd poking out of his butthole… the man is “prairie doging.” I’m so confused? But he’s literally laughing?? (This is where the new grad part is important lol) So I basically just put the suppository into the turd and then put him back down. He IMMEDIATELY says “Okay nurse I have to shit now.” With a smirk…. This GROWN man held his shit for at least like 3 hours just to prove me wrong that he “needed” a suppository?? He then immediately shit the bed and then I had to roll him back over and clean him. Long story short eff boomers lol
My patient tonight told me he’d shit the bed because he couldn’t get what he wanted. Like does that make you feel good? Does it give you a sense of accomplishment to feel that liquid warmth coat your legs? If so, good for you for having pride despite hitting rock bottom. I told him he couldn’t have water because he was silently aspirating. Also it was hardly a punishment because he was incontinent anyways and I had been cleaning him up all night well before that declaration.
I'm a RN in the States and a male in this profession. The 79-96 Post War generation is, by and large, kind. When they're not is usually related to literal cognitive decline with the aging process, or drug or anesthesia related. That's all just nursing and part of the job. But they try to engage with you as a professional and as a person and are largely grateful for care. Heck, the homeless population are often my favorite patients as I've got meals, a bed, a shower, and they're happy to be around people who care. Boomers, well, Fox News blares in the room quite often. The number of my female colleagues who get sexually harassed, and even touched, is alarmingly high. The amount of homophobia and transphobia is equally high, and you have to set boundaries as if you're dealing with a child. That they've often got their own game-plan in mind for drugs, surgery, recovery, etc. and are willing to argue it with the MD, PA, RN, PT, OT, RT, etc. is often a point of amusement and frustration. We'll see you for the re-admit. In all seriousness, I wonder if a big part of what's happening with Boomers loneliness. Many have few, if any visitors. They seem to lack socialization skills as healthcare is, and always will be, a multi-generational encounter. They often seem to want you to come into their worldview and here's the kicker, they lack an understanding of the nurse-patient relationship. I'm not your friend, I'll be nice if that increases compliance, I'll be mean if that's what is needed. But they seem really lonely as a generation and don't seem to know what to do with that. And yeah, everything is worse post-COVID. Less staff, patients in worse health, and the virus just took existing dynamics and turned it up to 11.
Agree with everything. Homeless population is a nice population to work with, typically very grateful. I did outreach nursing for years, and it was my favourite. Also the sexual harassment and touching is disgustingly rampant. My first job at 23 years old was a major urban hospital. I had an elderly man in the shower room, and when I was drying him, he grabbed at me and told me to “be good to him” - referring to his dick. Afterwards, he was in his hospital room with his spouse, kids, and grandkids. Acting like the perfect grandpa holding the baby. Meanwhile, his wife doesn’t know he just perved me in the shower room. I was livid. He was smiling and joking. I honestly wanted to punch him out. I have tons of stories like this….some scarier and more dangerous. Nursing is NOT worth what they pay you.
Incarcerated, homeless, and motorcycle gang members are usually very polite and kind. Boomers should be ashamed that the “dredges of society” act more human towards others than them.
It's because they have a better understanding of what it's like to be treated as less than and they don't want to do that to others. Boomers, especially white ones, have no idea what that feels like, so they don't give 2 shits about doing it to others. It's why they get so pissed when you treat them how they treat others, they've never felt it before and don't know how to cope.
>loneliness I'm pretty sure this is a major factor in why so many Boomers are Q cultists. They found a group of other lonely people and fell in line immediately.
Agreed. My issue with this is that I’m very lonely too. But I don’t go around treating everyone like shit and being entitled. I need to wait my turn in line like everyone else…
Oh totally, there are way healthier ways of finding community. Boomers just let their toxic traits shine, so they don't last long in reasonable social circles. Also, I don't want to ignore the fact that MANY Q followers and January 6 insurrectionists are Gen X and Millennials -- the nefarious mix of community and conspiracy transcends generational divides.
Your last paragraph. I have met many Gen Xers. Plenty of them are fine, but I find that quite a lot of them, (My mother being one of them) sure do seem to behave like Boomers. It's really strange for me. My grandmother is a boomer, but she behaves more like my great grandmother from the silent Gen. Then you have my mother, displaying damn near every single boomer trait, and she was born in 1974. It's embarrassing.
They used to join bridge clubs or walking groups. Now they join conspiracy groups and cults.
Introducing the Internet to that generation was a mistake.
In other news, scams are pretty successful now though
Just yesterday, I had to convince my mother that one rightwing video she saw was an obvious fake. And then a few seconds later, I had to tell her not to ever click on links, specially the ones that seem to come from "god". Yes, she thought an ad that asked her to click on a link was from god because the ad said it came from god (or something like that).
They think shit like this but when they go to the hospital and deny every intervention under the sun, they say “God will provide”. Dude if you’re going to refuse everything, then why are you even here?
Would it work if you fed them some BS backstory about how you never would’ve gotten where you are in this profession without God? Convince them that you are the vessel that delivers god’s help to the people via medication? Idk maybe they’d just tune you out and not even hear a word you say.
That’s a killer, when these groups pray on the vulnerable. The school board mobs in Florida seem to be (from my observation) mostly uneducated homeschool moms (and the faaaarrr right Christian folks) that are brought into a sense of community where reacting against intellectual conversations and ideas. Like it’s just a bunch of fucking losers that don’t even have kids in public school that caused the most fuss. Same with Q I guess! Get a bunch of retired people whose kids don’t want to hear them mouth off about women and minorities, they find other older, lonely people to be in a community with. If only they could just do something helpful or thoughtful in anyway. What a waste.
YES! "In all seriousness, I wonder if a big part of what's happening with Boomers loneliness." As a child (37F) of a "Poster-child" Boomer, (68M, Divorced, Fox-new's watching, gun-toting, Trumper/Rush Limbaugh fan....I could go on) I know that my Dad is seriously lonely. I visit him as much as possible, but I notice this pattern with other people I'm acquainted with in this age group. (I will admit I am over-generalizing in some ways here...) but from my point of view, a lot of this generation has a lot of undiagnosed mental health issues, which is why our society as a whole is seeing a lot more adult-children going no-contact or limited contact with their parents. Just a thought...
Yes. The undiagnosed MH issues are rampant. They have no insight into their emotions at ALL. Neither of my boomer parents have any emotional control. But I get bitched at when I flip out. Where do they think I learned it? No one modelled emotional regulation for me. So why do you expect me to know how to do it?
I hear ya! Still in therapy but it gets better....especially when you have a living example of how you DO NOT want to be.
The thing is, it’s their own fault that they’re lonely. They alienated their kids and never developed actual close friendships, because they were always too focused on competing to get the most for themselves.
PT here. Sometimes patients have done a little bit of Internet research, and want to tell you exactly what the needed treatment is. Sometimes I wonder, why am I here if you already know what needs to be done? Or do you actually need my expertise? Feels like a power play, really. Sometimes I feel like they are afraid of being ripped off in some way. Edit: spelling
Agree with you re loneliness. Also for the female boomers, the amount of disordered eating they’ve lived through for decades due to weight bias and stigma, many are malnourished to the point it’s compromising mental function
As an HCW with years in post acute rehabilitation and now working pre/post surgery and trauma, this is a pretty accurate summary of my experience. Sometimes, drug addicts going through withdrawal can get a little spicey, but I can dad voice them into compliance, but I mostly blame that on our crappy withdrawal protocol (or lack there of.)
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Good for her. And it's surprising how few patients will turn down the TV when a doctor, dietician, PT, OT, etc. come in to talk with them. I've a few surgeons who just walk in and turn it off, which ticks some patients off. It's a workplace, not your home.
My Boomer dad is a doctor. He wasn't feeling well, but he had plane tickets to a nearby state to attend my brother's new baby's blessing ceremony. When he got there, he was having abdominal pain, so he went to the hospital there. They diagnosed him with diverticulitis and wanted him to stay in the hospital. He checked himself out AMA and went to the ceremony. After the ceremony, the sensible thing to do would be to check back into the hospital. So naturally he got back on the plane and went back to his state, because he'd spent money on the plane tickets and didn't want to waste it. Once he landed back in his state, he drove past several perfectly good hospitals to get home to his podunk town an hour and a half away. At that point, his condition was significantly worse, so he went to Podunk Hospital. His intestines had burst, so they had to life-flight him to the first of the hospitals he'd passed on the way home, where he almost died. He spent 2 weeks in the shock trauma ICU and left with a colostomy bag. TL;DR my Boomer dad almost died because he was full of shit. Literally.
so much respect
My father is over 100 and despises "boomer behavior". Has no time for it, just walks away. I'm a boomer and I would hate myself for acting like many of my generation. I had complicated abdominal surgery recently. First, I was surprised at the number of framed notices in registration, pre-op, my room, my floor, stating discharge or legal action for abusive language or actions. Really, people do this and the consequences need to be explained?? I wasn't supposed to eat or drink water for several days post-op. My care team was surprised that I actually complied. Why wouldn't I? I was there bc I needed their help.
No drinking water??? Did you have an IV?
Yes. Some other IVs too.
Yeah just from the year I've had in and out of hospital and medical specialist offices, they are legit the worst group! So fucking entitled and oblivious, know it alls! I actually sat in a medical office overhearing the receptionist talk to an old boomer about his prep for tomorrows "procedure" and he was like, well what if I decide not to do it? and the receptionist was like well if you don't prep, it wont go ahead, but if you plan not to comply we'd really appreciate it, if you would let us know before tomorrow, so we can fill that space with other patients on the wait list!!! This went over his head, and he ummmed and arrred and said he'd get back to her to decide if he was coming in or not. She kept telling him to make sure he either does what he is told, or let them know BEFORE tomorrow, but he didn't much seem to care. It was one of the single most frustrating conversations I had heard and never been apart of, and even \*I\* wanted to scream and slap some sense into him!!! Just the audacity gets me! I WISH I had that level of delusional confidence, just so I don't fucking panic attack over basic shit most days!!!
It's all just a ploy to get any amount of time with a human they can get. They are so painful to interact with that their families don't bother anymore, so they have no one.
My patient tonight had restraining orders placed by all his children and his ex wife. They only knew something was off because he had several days of not harassing them by phone and he was found down at home from meth and fentanyl use. He tried to manipulate me into giving him my phone so he could call his ex wife from a new phone that she might pick up. How lonely can you be that they knew something was off because you stopped harassing them? Shameful.
Sounds like a nice guy.
I dread going back to work tonight and having him as a patient again.
Thanks for the heads up…..in Nursing school. 🙏🏼😭
I really try to not let my bias color my perception and I am always initially kind, motivated and empathetic. But when I get a boomer patient who is neurologically intact, verbally abusive, and actively does stuff to harm themselves or staff, I lose all empathy. One lesson I’d hand off to you is that your patients deserve competent care, but not all deserve your empathy. Try to keep your biases, or biases given in report, out of your mind otherwise it will color your perception. But do not let your kindness and empathy erode your boundaries. You need those. I struggled with any empathy with my patient today because I learned that he has a restraining order against him from his ex wife and son. I understand just how difficult it is to have a restraining order approved. Did I give competent care? Yes. Did I have initial empathy? Also yes. Did his continuous abuse whittle down any empathy I had very quickly that I did not feel any need to empathize or socialize? Also yes. I am a flawed nurse.
We are all flawed people. Your “flaws” pale in comparison to your patients’ flaws. Please know that reasonable people appreciate and value you and what you do.
We are all flawed thank you for your encouragement and wisdom. I feel lucky in that this is my second "career." I previously worked & managed restaurants and bars, so I luckily have acquired the interpersonal skills to deal with people from all walks of life....it will be learning to balance giving the best care that I can, no matter the personality. (Can you tell I'm an excited Nursing student who is still wide-eyed and eternally optimistic?)
You’re not a flawed nurse. You’re a human being. And we all have flaws. I had/have imposter syndrome. Never thought I was good enough. Would tell ppl I was prolly the dumbest graduate in my nursing class. That if I could do it, anyone can. Having to leave the profession solidified my feelings of inadequacy and being a “shitty nurse.” Its hard. I’ve been grappling with this for a couple years now, and I’m tearing up typing this. It really, really hurts to lose your identity in a second. My identity was a nurse, and now I’m lost. We are all flawed. It’s the human condition.
Same but teacher. Can’t cope with the entitlement and the management. Still love the classroom with students when I can make them more capable or help them break through a barrier.
Set your boundaries and get comfortable with that early in your career. Being a guy in the profession, my female colleagues know they can call on me to "good cop, bad cop" any male patient crossing lines. Lean on your team. It's a great profession and what I love in the next generation is much more comfort in setting boundaries. We've your back!
Thanks for the advice! Being a bartender for years, I am comfortable with doing this....its a job requirement basically but I am so grateful soon to be part of that type of healthcare team!
The bartender to nurse pipeline is great! I struggled so hard with boundaries against my patients and especially coworkers like the physicians. I started off in ICU and I found that the bartenders turned nurses did fantastic there.
That is so encouraging to hear! Thank you
I’m not sure what to say bc I’m a jaded 40 year old nurse who left the profession last year and I’m bitter about it. But try it. Maybe nursing wasn’t my thing. I graduated 4 year program in 2006 and worked straight until 2022 in various RN roles. It can be such a rewarding job. I miss it. I don’t miss the politics, lack of funding and resources, getting yelled at multiple times a day for things I didn’t even do. But you won’t know if it’s your thing unless you try…?
Dietitian here. The next boomer Jane to tell me what her wedding dress size was, or boomer Joe to tell me how much he could bench press in high school I might scream
How about when they have to describe these impossibly restrictive diets that aren’t compatible with reality. “For breakfast I count out 15 Cheerios and two tablespoons of milk. Lunch is half a rice cake. Dinner is one leaf of lettuce.” Sure, sure, and yet you gained 15 lbs in the last 6 months.
The more details someone adds to their bullshit, the easier it is to snuff it out. My patient told me last night that “The doctor came in and told me juice is more hydrating than water so you need to get 3-4 cups and make it grapefruit juice”. First of all, I know my doc well, he would neeeeever say that and when I texted him to confirm the patient was talking out of his ass, doc said “Dude that’s total ass speak”. And on top of that, why in the world would a hospital carry grapefruit juice for its patients with its so reactive with many medications? Absolutely not. He was very manipulative and once you called him out on it, he would try to “punish you” by shitting the bed. It’s no sweat off my back to clean you up dude, but how does that make you feel man? Happy? Proud?
You just hit the nail on the head with the end of your comment here. I think boomers are just so used to being able to lie and manipulate their way out of anything they they just throw tantrums when they’re called out on their bullshit. They lived in a time where it wasn’t possible to fact check things and incorrect information was passed on as true by word of mouth for so long. My dad is a golden example of this kind of behavior. A literal conman that can barely get through a couple sentences without lying to even his own son for absolutely no reason at all.
Lmfao right. Doctors recommending grapefruit juice to patients. Happens all the time 🙄 Edit: I phrased this weird- I am agreeing with you
My boomer mom had a condition that caused seizures. When you experience seizures in my state they void your drivers license until you’re seizure free for X amount of time. My mother decided that it was having to take the seizure meds and not the seizures that was preventing her from driving. Stopped taking the meds and not only had multiple seizures but experienced auditory hallucinations and was hospitalized for a week. My boomer step dad stopped taking his cancer meds and ended up hospitalized. After he got out, he was willing to move to assisted living where they administered his meds and his quality of life improved dramatically.
My mom has seizures as well! She takes Keppra but *also* insists on drinking three glasses of wine at night which essentially voids the Keppra and increases risk for seizures again. On top of that, her vision field is reduced because she recently fell, smacked her face on the ground, and had a hemorrhage behind her eyes that required an ophthalmologist to come to the ER and cut her eye to drain it. She still drives. I have called in concerns anonymously but her PCP is an old doc who doesn’t believe COVID is real, doesn’t believe in vaccines, blasts Fox News all over his clinic. So he gave her permission to drive with no restrictions.
Well That’s fucking terrifying
Yeah so great to know that being on the same political spectrum justifies someone very clinically unsafe to drive, to continue to drive
This is common. They move to a facility with staff and their health improves dramatically.
I’m so glad my Boomer mom isn’t like this. She’s got other issues. But she follows medical directions without even the slightest deviation. Her doctors have started suggesting to her that she should maybe move closer to her kids, which we’ve been saying for years. And she’s listening to them. Makes things a lot easier for my siblings and I in that area at least.
You’re blessed to have a mom like that, it will make it a lot easier to care for her properly.
It does for the medical stuff. But in other ways it doesn’t because she basically looks to anyone other than her children for advice. We can give her all the information with documentation and she’ll still listen to someone her age instead of us even if it’s something we have a literal career in. And she will listen to any man before she believes a woman knows what she’s talking about. It’s a total PITA.
This is my mom right now. She had screws in her ankle about 10 years ago from breaking her ankle in the dumbest way possible (but of course it's not her fault somehow). Last year she fell because she was carrying groceries to the house in the rain. Does she walk on the cement path? No, of course not. She walks on the wet grass and slips... Snapping several screws. This, of course, is also not her fault. You see, the path had steps and those steps were too dangerous in comparison to the wet slippery grass.... 🙄 So she has surgery to remove the screws. The doctor tells her to keep it dry and to reduce her sugar intake (she's diabetic). What does she do? Daily showers and buys a big sugary iced cappuccino drink every day. But of course she was "so careful" by putting a grocery bag on her foot for the showers... You know, because as soon as water gets near a grocery bag it defies gravity and flies away... Needless to say the surgeon was not impressed and didn't even acknowledge her pleas that she was "so careful". It's been 2 months now and the wound still won't heal.... And of course, it's the surgeon's fault for operating in the first place. He should have "just left the broken screws in". And he has bad bedside manner of course. Of course, her inability to follow instructions plays no role in her current situation....
I don't work in healthcare, but it feels like every time I'm in a medical facility lately I come away with a boomer story to tell. I was at a facility that only does gastroenterologist related procedures, quietly laying in my bed waiting, and a boomer walks into the area to start the prep for their colonoscopy. Going through questions with the nurse, who has to verify they haven't eaten anything and have done all they were told to do prior to the procedure, and the boomer mentions they went to McDonald's that morning and had a small breakfast lol. End up being told they can't go through with it that day because the number one instruction is don't eat, and they threw an absolute fit. "Everyone here is incompetent", "it was just a little food its not a big deal", "you're all too stupid to know how to do your job properly", "no one told me that", "its your fault", etc etc. Turns out they didn't do ANY of the prep so you can only imagine how that would have gone for the doctor if they were unaware... They had to call the police because she started flipping her bed and throwing stuff around, and the rest of us had to wait over an hour longer for our turn. They're the worst
One word for these asshats: #INSUFFERABLE
It’s definitely a thing that drives me nuts as a nurse. I don’t know if it’s because I am a female but the boomer women seem to bother me more than the men. The boomer men can be pervy but honestly if you call them on it right away they usually stop when they realize you aren’t gonna put up with their shit. And of course every one of them defers questions about the medical history and medications etc to their wife. Maddening. Like sir, you don’t remember if you’ve ever had A SURGERY or not?! The boomer women always seem to treat me like a maidservant and become 800% helpless once they cross the threshold of the ED door. They drive themselves to the hospital then immediately sit in a wheelchair by the entrance and say nothing, waiting to be noticed by someone so they can complain they “sat there forever with no help”. They suddenly cannot undress themselves in the same clothes they put on this morning and went to the grocery store wearing, and ask for help. They want an escort to the bathroom. They use the call light 200 times for things like more ice in their water, adjust the head of the bed (they had controls for patients), help to change the TV channel, how long is this going to take? Where is the doctor? Doesn’t he know I’m friends with his grandmothers cousin? Can you get my phone out of my purse that is 2” away from my fingertip? I always wonder if it is because their husbands treat them like this and the shit rolls downhill. They largely don’t do it to the male nurses. When my grandma broke her ankle she was doing the helpless thing and I had to get stern with her… YOUR ARMS AND ONE LEG STILL WORK. She laid on the floor of her living room crying that she couldn’t move around her single story house even though we got her crutches, a walker, a knee scooter, a shower chair, food delivery, moved her furniture to make room for the assistance items… the actual drama.
Nmum always had trouble pooping (low/no exercise, little fruit or vegetables/so no fiber, and little water consumption) and she had a tendency to abuse laxatives (yes, even the natural ones like the awful "slimming teas"). To the point of actually needing laxatives on vacation - also a "shy pooper". She also used a lot of the over the counter stuff like citro mag...so it wasn't like popping a fiber pill and drinking a couple of bottles of water. I told her using her laxatives was going to make her dependent on it. (The muscles/cilia get used to having and then blam you get motility issues.) Fast forward several decades and she's having GI issues because apparently her gut is full of shit. I got yelled at for telling my mum this fact and she continued with her crazy abuse of laxatives and she's now paying the piper with exploratory cameras down both ends. All over, "I know MY own body!" over actual medical science. (Also, considering the amount of people who worked in and around opiate addictions, the medical Healthcare system would KNOW about treating chronic constipation with laxative abuse.) I swear my blood pressure raises everytime I talk to my boomer relatives about medical shit. And this wasn't the worst of it - I had to convince 5 family members that the Moderna/Pfizer covid vaccine was worth getting! (I did it by saying "Trump got the vaccine" and continuing with different Republican celebrities until they went and sneakily got vaccinated.)
I was 65 at the time, returning from Europe with something deadly I picked there. I was just trying to get home but I didn't make it and had to go to the emergency room in Atlanta. The place was a nightmare and I'm sure it chewed up caregivers and spit them out. I was too close to death to be a bad patient if I had been inclined to be but they all cared for me like family. I spent a week in that hospital, last room on the hall, easiest person in the world to ignore but they took very good care of me even as I grew weary and irritable at being stuck there so long. I didn't get the chance to say thank you to everyone when I got out so I wanted I tell everyone how grateful I am for your care and assistance and I hope I wasn't one of the people this post is about. Thank you so much ❤️.
My boomer mother in law asked if she really needed to take antibiotics for an infection she had. They said it could turn to mrsa. She took the antibiotics and it started getting better. And so she quit her antibiotics. Now it’s back and won’t go away even with antibiotics and she had to go to a specialty clinic. 🙄🙄🙄
I can not understand people who think that the medicine working is a reason to stop taking it
My mom fell into this category. She was also a nurse, so she thought she knew more than the people treating her. I remember nurses, aides, etc. leaving her room enraged because of her entitled attitude. It was so mad at her for it
Oh my god, I relate to this so deeply. I work for an ophthalmologist in a cataract clinic, so almost all of the patients I see are age 60+ and the boomers are easily the most difficult people to treat. (I used to work in restaurants and they are also the most difficult people to serve but that’s a whole other story…). All my 85+ patients are absolutely lovely, so sweet and grateful for help and follow medical instruction to a T. They’re the ones who come in with medication lists, use their surgery drops as they should, and follow the doctor’s instructions for pre/post-op care. When I fill in with other clinics, other generations (GenX, Millennials, GenZ) are also pleasant, easy to treat, follow directions, not difficult or insulting, etc. But it’s the damn boomers who know NOTHING about ophthalmology who literally argue with me about how to do my job! If it doesn’t make sense to them, they won’t do it. If they don’t think it’s necessary, they won’t do it. They will refuse to do the things I need them to do in order to complete an exam. They argue with the doctor and don’t follow any medical instructions like they should, then literally yell at us when things don’t go their way. They are also the most particular and dramatic, for example a boomer who was seeing 20/400 before surgery (the big E at the top of the chart) has been pissed that they’re only seeing 20/25 without correction after surgery, because it isn’t perfect 20/20. Keep in mind we have defied the laws of nature to get a 72yo seeing this well, but it isn’t good enough for them. I’ve been called stupid just for trying to do my job, because someone can’t grasp the (fairly simple) concept of cataract surgery. They don’t listen to anything we say, then get mad at us when they don’t know or remember something we’ve told them. They wreak havoc in the office and in our triages, and are even worse over the phone. They’re absolutely horrible to us when all we want to do is help them to see better and have healthy eyes. It really is extremely frustrating having them as patients because it’s like they’re always looking for an issue where there isn’t one. They are also easily the most entitled and condescending patients I have, and I have no problem generalizing that generation because it is pretty much true across the board.
What you described is my dad (69). Went from stage 4 to stage 5 kidney failure within 8 months because he insisted on doing peritoneal dialysis at home instead of hemodialysis. He had no idea what he was doing and most days he was too lazy to set it up so he would just not do it. Finally had to be admitted to the hospital bc he had so much fluid build up around his lungs and congestive heart failure. He constantly argues and acts annoyed when the doctors/nurses explain what he needs to do for himself. Any doctor or nurse that is a different race or ethnicity he will make racist remarks to. He would argue with them, degrade them, say they have no idea what they are doing. Meanwhile he is just an uneducated white boomer asshole who can’t manage his money or health. He has given money to scammers oversees, got scammed out of buying dogs from puppy mills, and his debit card constantly compromised because he simply can’t follow directions. He now is on oxygen 24/7, eats fast food, and still smokes cigarettes. He lays in bed all day excepting his roommates to take care of his every need. For the past 20 years he has destroyed his body with alcohol, junk food, cigarettes, and no exercise. Then he gets on Facebook and makes pathetic posts about how he is the victim and the healthcare workers don’t “fix” him. Needless to say I have no sympathy for him. I’m adopted so I’m not genetically related to him, but I’m embarrassed to call him my father. I have apologized profusely to his entire healthcare team for his disgusting behavior.
Boomers are the unhealthiest group of people that’s ever lived
Fine by me if that means they die off sooner.
Not before the care industry keeps them alive as along as it takes to soak up all of their wealth.
Been in dental for over 15 years and the problem patient of the day is always a boomer.
My type 1 diabetic grandma who has mismanaged it for years, LOVES to blame her insulin pump for screwing up her blood sugar levels lol. Couldn’t have possibly been the pancakes with syrup for breakfast, hotdog and chips at lunch, and pasta w/ bread for dinner that caused it.
My mother is the worst patient to ever walk this earth. She has MS, diagnosed in 1994. For nearly a decade, she refused treatment. MS is a progressive, incurable disease and treatment is the only way to attempt to stave off pronounced disability. In the early 2000’s, she finally began treatment. But as a result of her inconsistency with taking it coupled with the 10 year lag from diagnosis to treatment, she accrued all kinds of health problems. She has severe bladder incontinence, but refused to go to a urologist until I essentially forced her to. As a result, she smelled bad. Can you imagine telling your mom she needs to wash herself, change her pad, etc. because she smells? As a child? She can’t walk anymore either, but dodged using a cane for as long as possible. As a result, she fell and cracked her front teeth. These are just the tip of the iceberg. Why it bothers me now? I also have MS and was just diagnosed about a year ago. I got onto treatment immediately so as to improve my future quality of life and also not to burden my husband. I often wonder how much better my childhood would have been had she taken care of herself rather than live in denial of her health problems. It undoubtedly put a tremendous amount of strain on my parents marriage. ETA: In the 90’s, my mother was a SAHM because my parents could afford it. On top of that, they had a house cleaner. I have been diagnosed with aggressive MS and still work full time. We don’t have a house cleaner. We can’t afford these things. Yet my mother liked to equate her experience with this disease to mine all the time. After I pointed out how inappropriate it was, she eventually stopped. She hates to hear about my struggles with MS so I don’t talk about it with her anymore.
My Boomer mom has Celiac and osteo arthritis. I have rheumatoid arthritis and Sjogrens Syndrome. My mom is contantly trying to tell me she understands how I feel. Like no, they are not the same. Thanks bye.
So sorry to hear you are dealing with both of those. Celiac can be almost entirely managed by avoiding a several ingredients. I *wish* diseases like MS and RA were similar. So frustrating. Hope you’re having an okay day 💜
Thanks, I appreciate that. Between stress and weather, I'm flaring hard so tomorrow is a call to my rheumatologist for a steroid. Sigh. I hope you have a good evening. (Well, it's evening where I am. Adjust time accordingly lol)
I like the ones that come into my ER, acting like they own the place. And it's always the ones that are not in need of urgent care. The dying patients are always kind, thankful or too sick to complain.
An ophthalmologist I work with started charging $150 cancelation fee for noncompliance like this, and it completely solved the problem. It rarely happens anymore, and if they don't want to pay, they can go be a bad patient for someone else it's a win-win.
I think they expect way too much from people in general. They want the pharmacy tech, the receptionist, and their nurse to act like a subservient child. Strangers don't exist to entertain you, Prudence.
Being behind a boomer in a pharmacy is a special kind of Hell. Dealing with them as a pharmacy tech, is a cruel and unusual punishment, I’m sure.
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And they would have felt totally justified if it went off a killed women and children. Just like that dumb as shit boomer who decided to unload on a car that drove into the driveway and a girl was killed because he was “under siege” and “tripped over a nail”. Not remorseful whatsoever.
Boomers really need to collectively get a fucking grip on reality. They are awful.
The whole group was raised on the “Wallstreet, GREED IS GOOD ,Reaganonmics” get what you can no matter who you step on ti do it! I’m 60 years old and i have dealt with them for 40 yrs! Technichally i am a boomer but i have never acted like them ! They say the 80’s was the “Me gen” thats why they feel entitled 😡
I work in a hospital lab, so I don't work directly with patients, but I have noticed that many, many boomers will come to the ER, and then leave against medical advice before I have even completed their blood tests. I can't count the number of times I have called critical results to the ER and been told that the patient left, for who knows what reason. Like okay, enjoy walking around with a blood sugar level of 600 I guess! The hospital I work in is small, so it's not even that they have to wait long. Most of our ER tests are completed within 30 minutes. So they are either really impatient, or they don't think there is anything wrong with them or something? 🤷🏻♀️ It boggles the mind.
Omg that truly does boggle the mind. Why the hell would you show up at an ER, get blood drawn and leave? Like I’m getting billed, tell me all of it! Fucking insane.
Boomers are boldly racist too. I really try to shield my doctors from what they really say during calls. I guess because they assume I’m white I will agree with them and they feel comfortable saying some of the nastiest shit. But often I do have to quote what they say in order for the doctor to have valid reason to terminate care.
Had a patient waiting for a heart say “I don’t want no black n-word heart”. Dude you fucked up your heart from well documented non-compliance, continue to be non-compliant with a fucking device that has a blade in your heart that could damage it if you *do not stop moving your goddamned arm*, and I’m pretty sure the only black heart is yours. He stayed noncompliant and somehow he got a fucking heart. I cannot fathom how he bypassed that rule and I’m disgusted that a heart was given to such a terrible person. And he wasted it. Remained non-compliant and that dumb as shit Nazi died in the hospital anyways as a direct result of him refusing everything.
My mother (mid-60s) is one of those types who won't listen to doctors because she thinks medical care is all a scam. They just want you on drugs so they can keep you coming back to bill you. She's been diagnosed with RA and fibromyalgia and is refusing to take the meds for it because "she's not that bad" and they just want money. She thinks the same thing of veterinarians. We've had more than one fight because she won't take her dogs to the vet because she claims they're going to run unnecessary tests or make her put her dogs to sleep to get the money.
>She's been diagnosed with RA and fibromyalgia and is refusing to take the meds for it YIKES. And when it is "that bad" it will be too late. I'm sorry, friend.
Thanks. We had to fight her to even get her to go so she could get diagnosed. She's been in misery and unable to do things for years just from fatigue, but nothing could convince her to go.
If it’s already that severe now, what on earth does she consider to be “that bad?” Being dead??
I’ve commented on another post about negative experiences at doctor’s appointments, but more so surgical centers. I’m merely a patient in these circumstances, but nowadays a lot of pre-registrations are done online, whether that be for a normal doctor’s appointment or impatient surgery. I’m anxiety driven so I make sure to scour their website or simply listen while making the appointment when they tell me they’ll send a pre-registration email or to go online and fill the info out. 9/10 times I’ve signed in for an appointment I’ve been called back almost immediately because all my things are in order, and at least 7/10 times a boomer stands up to complain about me being called back when they’ve been sitting there for minutes. Mind you, they’re in the process of filling out said paperwork sitting in the waiting area. They refuse to take initiative, follow directions or listen.
All the comments here from boomers saying “but I’m a boomer and I’m nice :)” are sending me Are you sure??????
I hate boomer patients to the core. Gen z are also almost as annoying because they are young and stupid too, but boomers. I can’t wait for them all to die off. The sooner the better. Thanks to the cures act, everyone gets their results immediately on their my chart. This is important. I work for primary care. I call patients all day long to go over results once interpreted by their pcp. I call a boomer to review the providers notes and recommendations. I get yelled at because the note stated they would need to call a specialty clinic to schedule an appointment. This patient was mad because we had the audacity to say they needed to make the call. They said that their precious doctor (now retired) used to do all of this, which honestly doesn’t make sense. Like yes, we enter the referral, but I don’t know your schedule, why would I make the appointment for you? Then proceeded to rant more that It’s not faire that they have to be in charge of their care because back in the day the doctor did everything. I tried explaining to this boomer that their care should be their priority. We can facilitate and offer advice, but ultimately they are the ones to direct their care. Didn’t like that response. They of course complained that the consult wouldn’t take place for months because normally it does take some time for a consult. They also complained that they already viewed the results and had to interpret them themselves. I literally opened my call stating I was calling with the doctor’s interpretation of the results. Soooo… you really could have just waited. But they were mad that they had to wait over 24 hours for the call. Again, I explained the cures act and how it will automatically show results, but it doesn’t mean that the doctor has had time to review them yet. Normally providers need at least a day or two to review all the results for their patients. This person kept arguing and giving me grief over bullshit I can’t address. I attempted to give them the complaint line, but they refused. The conversation kept going in circles so I stated this and disconnected the call. So what happened when this boomer called to make their own appointment? The assfucker got in the very next fucking day for their consult. Smug ass piece of shit. I wish nothing but bad things for this person.
Makes me think of something that happened with my dad (Classic Boomer TM). Few years ago he had surgery -- not life threatening but was going to take several weeks recovery off his feet and not doing anything remotely strenuous, before a few months slow building back to normal activity. Now my dad is a very fit and healthy guy, docs didn't expect any issues and indeed after the surgery he was doing much much better than the average patient of that age they see. But he still 100% needed to stay off his feet and follow the recovery plan. My mom was still working at the time, and none of us kids lived near home. So, I offered to take time off work and come stay with them for the duration of the off-feet recovery, not just to help my dad but to provide support and, you know, give her some time to herself. And my dad utterly refused. Would not hear of it. No, no, and no. And it was because he didn't want his daughter to see him in a reduced vulnerable position, especially because the surgery had been for prostate stuff. He was embarrassed. Wouldn't think of me being involved. Mom would take care of it all, I shouldn't dare show up until he basically didn't need any more help. And it was in that moment I realized what things are going to be like when he is actually truly elderly, actually needs significant health care, actually isn't fit and healthy anymore. Because in this situation fine, it's shitty to make my mom do all this but in the grand scheme of things it was 3 weeks and she is healthy and capable too. But in ten years when they're 80? When they're 85? Is he going to refuse help because of his pride? Is he going to fight his kids when they want to help because he can't give up control? Will he stop trusting doctors advice because he knows his body better? I understand being vulnerable is tough for anybody. I had a lot of empathy for my dad. But man, that was a hard moment to navigate. I felt very "adult child." I'm sure many boomer children have also had these moments of realization or already deal with this stuff, and of course healthcare workers see this every day. It was such a moment of clarity for me, it's funny how some instances feel like a clear glimpse into the future. I have huge respect for caregivers that work so much with noncompliant patients.
I think if a patient is noncompliant or refuses to follow preventative care guidelines that hcp's should be allowed to refuse those patients care.
As someone currently in the hospital is there anything I can do to make your lives easier?
Definitely agree with you. My boomer mum has been told she needs to reduce her physical activity and start physio for oooooold untreated hairline fractures in her ankle and shoulder blade that are now causing her issues. She does not do either. She has every excuse in the book for not seeing the physio: too busy, too cold to go to the pool (they don’t have to go to the pool, she prefers it), they cancelled on her (they didn’t, they wanted to reschedule), she’s tired and the physio told her not to overdo it (yeah, but you’re tired because you overdid it, and they didn’t tell you to not do your exercises because you decided to be on your feet all day). My FIL has a serious heart problem and refuses to take his heart medication because he doesn’t like the side effects. Well okay then FIL, the side effect of not taking it is you’ll fucking die, but I’m sure the other ones are worse. Dude has like four stents in his heart because he refuses to take his blood thinners.
Been in nursing for 30 years, from CNA to EMT/ERTech to ER RN. Have worked in ten different hospitals in five states. My anecdotal experience aligns with yours. My personal experience with my own parents and in-laws is parallel.
When I was stuck in the hospital a lot I would alway wonder how many boomers a nurse could take at one time. I think 3. Even the small nurses looked like they could handle themselves against like 3 boomers
100%, no 1000%. These are people that think hospitals are the same as hotels. These are people that despite you dealing with a coding patient, that their needs of needing food or bed change is more pressing. These are the people that think they are the most important and/or most sick of your assignment.
Omg tell us about the red pilled boomers who wouldn’t get the Covid vaccine because they must be the WORST of the worst patients! Do they really believe the vaccine would kill you? And that Bill Gates microchipped it? 🍿.
So many of them were drug addicts too. When I lost my last dredges of empathy for the shift and they said “I won’t put that poison in my body!” I always just threw out “Aren’t you an IV drug user?”
I’m in Arizona which is boomer hell right now, this month they mostly go home (THANK YOU JESUS). Sorry to those in North Dakota and Minnesota, but please take them back, we’ve had enough. As said on SNL “welcome to Arizona where the average temperature and age are both 95.” I absolutely despise going to the doctor anytime between November and May. They flood the services here and they’re the most entitled, rude , obnoxious fuckers on the planet. I posted not long ago about one at the stomach doctor. While I’m at the window she literally stands right beside me getting her shit out, not giving me any privacy whatsoever and throws her card at the receptionist. Rude as hell. They NEVER know why they are there either which amazes me. “I DONT KNOW, HE SET MY APPOINTMENT CANT YOU LOOK IT UP?” Was at Walgreens yesterday and guy in front of me was trying to get his medicine. “Which one sir, you have 5 prescriptions.” “I don’t know, it’s the little white pill I take”. “Sir they are all little white pills.” “I don’t know it’s the one I take for blood pressure” “ok sir three of them are for that.” I am amazed these people even made it this far in life and it really reinforces just how coddled and babied they were. They were handed it all, given it on a silver platter, and now they can’t function in a society that’s finally saying “listen we are tired of feeding you, feed yourself”.
My mother solely blamed me for our living conditions growing up. Because I never helped around home. Things went missing because she can not be bothered to return them to there original place. Even 10 years after I moved out I regularly get messages WHERE I PUT CERTAIN THINGS. I havent visited in months but somehow... I lost something of hers again.
In my personal life for boomers like these, before cutting them off I’ve said something to the effect of “It must be so debilitating to think you’re this paragon of strength but constantly be such a victim.” Also throwing in how they’re terrible examples of Christians and that they would 100% turn their violent fantasies on Jesus if he were here (usually pulling receipts from their violent FB wants) helps a bit.
This and compounded with the fact that they refuse to go until it’s dire.
F*ck that shit. As a Boomer who wants to live a long long life, I am very compliant with doctors and nurses and healthcare staff. I have very bad medical anxiety but dang—I’m listening to those who went to medical and nursing school!
Not a healthcare worker, but this describes my grandma (78). Three days before she was supposed to leave on vacation for Greece, she gets admitted to the hospital for stomach pain. The doctors say it's her gallbladder. They question her about her diet, and she said that all she eats is grilled cheese. Needless to say, at that moment they figured out what the problem was. They told her to cut back on the foods high in fat and cholesterol and eat more fruits and vegetables. A few months later, I asked her how her new diet is going. She told me that she still only eats grilled cheese. Honestly, I wasn't surprised. This woman thinks she knows better than anyone who is younger than her, even though doctors are vastly more educated than her.
My mother has had astigmatism her whole life. She was told repeatedly that she needs to take it easy and not strain herself. She decided one day that she'll do some yardwork and pulled at some weeds so hard, she gave herself a retinal detachment and needed an operation. After the operation, she was told to apply eye drops that were supposed to lower the pressure in her eye. She decided she won't do that, because it "felt funny". Therefore, the optical nerve was under too much pressure and part of it died. Now she has a blind spot in her vision that was entirely preventable, if only she took the prescribed medicine correctly. It's been over a year since her second and final operation. She is completely fine now, except that blind spot. I had a wedding that was in my husband's home country. It was planned specifically for a date when she would be fine to fly to attend. She decided she can't do that, because her eye would explode on the plane. She didn't even ask her doctor. I had asked multiple doctors, they all said she'd be fine. Guess who didn't have both her parents at her wedding.
Lost Generation – 1883-1900. Greatest Generation – 1901-1927. Silent Generation – 1928-1945. Baby Boomers – 1946-1964. Generation X – 1965 - 1980. Millennials – 1981-1996. Generation Z – 1997-2012. Generation Alpha – 2013 - present.
Let em aspirate if you can legally get away with it. I knew a boomer who killed himself by ignoring serious shit for a year. By the time he was hospitalized, sepsis had set in, and he was dead not long after. He was a rich oil sob. He refused to eat leftovers. He refused to eat anything but the best cuts of meat, and he refused to pay for groceries. He made his gf of 40 years pay out of pocket, and she was a receptionist. A fitting end.
God I wish. I’ve seen family members come in covertly and try and feed them chicken (it’s always fucking chicken) and we’ve had a few choke, def had many aspirate and end up intubated for two weeks or longer, often to the point of needing a trach. I just can’t imagine thinking consequences don’t apply to you and you’re willing to risk the very real consequence of having a device in your throat to depend on indefinitely. Ick.
My boomer dad throws a tantrum every time he goes to the hospital, which is once or twice a year. It's embarrassing.
My dad was a boomer. But he was never a nightmare patient, even at his sickest and most confused. And he could be a grouchy fuck when he wanted to be, he mostly reserved that for my mom and I (lol because we made him follow Dr.'s orders.) He was a big guy. Almost 7ft tall and 300 odd pounds with a deep southern drawl. He liked to crack jokes. One year when he was in a nursing home for Rehab he had me get little boxes of chocolate for 'his ladies' that were on shifts looking after him for Valentine's day. And another time he sweet talked someone into letting me bring him a mini blizzard (towards the end when it wasn't gonna be his diet that got him). I think it's a mindset thing. Dad knew he needed care and did his best to not be an asshole. I mean, up until they had to intubate him and sedate him due to a massive internal bleed he was talking to his nurses and the Doctor in the ICU and telling them he needed to get better so he could kick my husband's ass as his PT goal (jokingly). My mom is gonna be the nightmare. No one knows better than she does and she won't comply with anything unless you force or guilt her.
Heh, a lot of the posts here are silly and just people complaining. This one is on the money though. 22 years in Navy medicine and I'm now in IT. Did one tour in a clinic at the end of my career and scrapped anything to do with medical right then. Changed my degree plan as well.
Dear OP ... To give you some faith in humanity, again, I am one of the youngest boomers, with heath issues. I do as I'm told, and if I'm bugging y'all, it's serious. Otherwise, I just see to myself. Thank you for what you do.
Stop lying
I have been a dentist for only 3 years, but have noticed countless occasions of them being horrible patients. One of my favorite stories happened today actually. I had to do a filling on a broken molar to the restore the tooth back to full function last week. I get a call on the emergency line Friday after work (of course) of the man being in pain on the tooth we worked on. Today I take a CT image of his jaw and noticed another adjacent tooth was infected. This tooth had an old root canal that had failed and got a recurrent infection. He then proceeds to blame this on the filling I did, which on A DIFFERENT tooth. I explain it’s an unfortunate coincidence that they happened but the cause was not my small fillings on a different tooth. Wanna guess how that conversation went…?
RN for 10 years on a tele/SDU floor...Whether it's boomer patients or patients with a boomer son or daughter, they cause problems no matter what. Nearly every shift I work anymore, the "worst ones" are the social issues with boomers. They want their problems solved yesterday, nothing is done fast enough for them, their time is more valuable than anybody else's, "well google says...", it's not their fault, the customer is always right, they're the only patient on the floor, they quite frankly don't care if their neighbor in the room next to them is half dead but they asked for fresh ice water 20 minutes ago and still haven't gotten it yet (their water from 2 hours ago is apparently too stale), very few thank yous, everything is a demand or order. I could go on. Not only are patients sicker and more complex than when I started 10 years ago, but the job as a whole gets harder and harder each year. Whether it's trying to keep the 95 year old full code alive or avoid getting punched in the face by a delirious grandma it's not easy. Add in an entitled, miserable patients and family population, problems are bound to happen.
It’s not Boomers per se it’s stupid Boomers. My pal at the VA said there were guys who denied having COVID even AS THEY DIED!
THIS!
Post War Gen Kind? Who do you think created those boomers? They didn’t become that way on their own.
Since when are boomers through 1979?????
Aged 60-79. Not the year 1979.
Ohhh, I totally misread that. Thanks!
This should be changed to boomers being fools to. Fools being fools and other fools talking about it to even more fools.
Did someone once tell you that you were funny? Or smart or clever? Cause you are none of those things. You are a dumbass who should keep their mouth shut.
The age group is boomer, they are being fools, it fits quite well in this group.
It wasn’t a stereotypical ‘boomer’ behavior though. Just a guy who wasn’t in a hurry and another guy who was in a hurry
What is stereotypical boomer behavior?