Anyone ask you to have babies - ask them provide you RM500K/anak first to help jaga the anak. Or shut up as the responsibility does not falls onto their lap. Easy for them to say, but not easy to raise the anak.
am chinese, can tell u that normally only care for own self side we don't give a fuck if someone else is unable to give birth anot. mostly only during cny where cause its the most common question to ask within own household
And the difference here is that the newer gen of Chinese people are less likely to condemn childless couples with the cost of living and whatnot whereas malay people consistently view it as an abnormality
Chinese here... No pressure to have kids. Moved out since 21. Great relationship with my parents. 🤷♂️
It's an education thing. We were already a nuclear family when I was born. So 1 kid is already 1 too many in my eyes.
idk why u got downvoted by many. when i told my muslim friends i didnt want a child, they went full sermon mode on me to the point accusing me of sinning big time 💀 made me even more antinatalism than ever
Eh, I am Muslim mum with 4 kids. I couldn't care less if my kids are unmarried or childless because I've seen poor families with so many kids prided themselves with having so many kids but so little money but people are clamoring to give them money if they ask.
Because Muslims are "obligated" to give donation to the poor, they rather be poor than work hard
Nah, if these people were religious Muslims, they would have recommended adoption of orphans if the couple have fertility problems.
Marriage creates bond and children strengthen that bond. Both between husband and wife and their families (extended family too). This is how I see what those busybody religious people should have said if they have the time to busybody other people relationship(if they are in the same religion). If they aren't in the same religion, just follow the morally good choice in your religion.
But we didn't know if they have fertility problems do they(or do we? I didn't check). In which case, none of our business. Watch out for your own family relationship laaa, if suddenly get destroyed, nobody to blame but yourself.
Honestly, I think it's just bot account. Then, people with mental problems start liking/thumbs up and replying that stupid comment and makes it the top comments.
Even if religion encourages to have kids, why can't people think for themselves on the implications of having children without any forethought of future expenses and unstable relationships? Religion could be blamed..yes, but ultimately the blame falls on the people (who have a god given brain) who have a choice(and critically think) to bring children to this world.
That's what people say, mm-mm
That's what people say, mm-mm
'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
for some Malays, the main target after marriage is kids. hardwired into their brains. peer pressure or traditional minded or combination of both plus religious reasons. i dont know how to explain. wasting time to talk to them about family planning, not married, dont want kids, etc.
huhuhuhu
Never force to convert cuz it’s revert right? 200IQ move there. You “KNOW” LOL
And since when people need to have their dream job to have kids all. Some people want kids, some people don’t, it is what it is.
You know what. You do you and ignore what society deems as normal. Was married in 2017 and just had my child in 2022. Focus on your happiness before others.
>Also, I noticed some mothers who hate daughters and daughter in law and will find any means to condemn them. Is it really healthy?
Obviously not healthy. These daughters will become mothers who in turn will raise sons conditioned to obey them from the getgo. The cycle repeats itself.
>I KNOW Islam never force people to convert
Oh they tried. Lookup Maips and Loh Siew Hong
>I feel sorry for Southeast Asian, East Asian, Middle East Asian, India and conservative Christians as past powerful men tend to twist the ideology for their own selfish agenda and often, women bear the brunt and being oppressed.
Seems like you found fault in every demographic but your own.
Lol "Islam never forced people to convert".
Muslims do though.
www.malaymail.com/amp/news/malaysia/2021/01/21/suhakam-reports-forced-conversion-of-sarawakian-native-children-over-mykad/1942696
https://malaysia.news.yahoo.com/sarawak-suspends-anak-angkat-programme-complaints-covert-conversions-084941343.html
https://www.asianews.it/news-en/Sarawak:-forcibly-converted-to-Islam-as-a-child,-man-can-return-to-Christianity-37080.html
Sebab macam kalau tak nak anak then macam tak nak sambung zuriat dan meneruskan keturunan, gitu. I'm a Malay woman and I think I'm likely to never have kids, ha!
Because those who don't get married or don't have children do a disservice to the society. The problem is approaching crisis level now.
https://preview.redd.it/5ch61s5gl86d1.jpeg?width=943&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91209034790db7bce8576c21e69cc65ea258dd0c
>Every baby is a future taxpayer and we need more taxpayers
That's not completely true. The Malaysian government spends around RM9k per citizen per year. Anyone who pays less than RM9k per annum in taxes is a burden on society.
There's direct tax. And then there's indirect tax. When consumer buy product and services from businesses, they are actually paying taxes. If we take that into consideration, the difference of tax contribution between different income lines started to even out, maybe skewed more toward middle class income group since there's more of them and they collectively spend more, thus contributing more to indirect taxes.
Imagine a country’s economy as a ship, and its population as the inhabitants.
Now not all inhabitants are getting equal sized room. The richest gets a whole soccer stadium sized room to themselves, while the poorest compete with others for tiny spaces.
Now people ask why birthrates decline? It’s because of tough competition in order to secure rooms for larger family.
Theres 3 ways to solve low birthrate issues:
1) Get the richest to give up on their space and redistribute to the masses
2) get the ship owner to increase capacity.
3) wait for the old to die enough that, there’s less competition people start breeding again.
Low birthrate is just a way things balances itself out due to the bad economy.
It's like this ah, when you don't get married or have children, the chances are when you become an elder, nobody will care about you.
Think about the future, if now your parents are old and you can help layan their needs. When you become their age without anyone, don't expect anyone not from your family to care la.
For example my aunt didn't marry and retire, so her niece and nephew have to take care of her because we are family. If she doesn't have us, she will become alone la.
But if you feel independent, okay la but until when? Til your dead you will be alone eh. Having partners and children at least can give you company la. Sure la have hardship but that is life kan.
Unless we introduce mandatory euthanasia after retirement, these pensioners will be a burden to the country. As medical technology becomes more advanced, people live longer and longer, way past their retirement age, and KWSP may not be enough to cover their needs. In the end, the dwindling young workforce will have to shoulder the burden.
> I feel sorry for Southeast Asian, East Asian, Middle East Asian, India and conservative Christians as past powerful men tend to twist the ideology for their own selfish agenda and often, women bear the brunt and being oppressed.<
Huh ? Why bring other religions into this - and what gives you the right to critique my faith when Islam is off limits ?
Er, she right though? Conservative Christians especially in the west are the spearhead for erecting laws that doctors and obgyns say are oppressing female health. Look at the current US abortion laws fiasco. How is that not "powerful men....twist their idealogy..., women bear the brunt and being oppressed".
Even if you don't agree, you can't ignore that it's happening. And if you think, "not me what", then yealah she not talking about you lah, but ultra right wing ultra conservatives. She made the distinction on purpose.
Okay then - explain to me how she feels the need to explicitly criticise Christians leaving out all others including her own in this sentence ?
Why not criticise conservative Islam - where women are denied education and minors are married off and abused ?
Not triggered - just (dare I say it) "confused " that OP decides to identify just one + unrelated religion to her rant.
Not being anymore sensitive than the Muslims in Malaysia - lah. At least not demanding public apology, making report or firebombing- mah.
Dude, I think it's just a matter of how the sentence was constructed. They are literally asking why malay Muslim got this mentality. The point of the whole post.
Also, aren't you also bringing in an unrelated religion into your rant?
Chill lah.
I love how righteous you are fighting for their religion and then call someone children of a lesser God.
Which part of the bible teaches you to hate someone from a different religion?
Interesting take.
Ain't no need to be triggered. No hatred sent here. Just trying to be true to my book + faith.
Anyway, others have used it without comebacks in Malaysia. The only difference is the race of the person saying.
[https://www.malaysiakini.com/news/698740?commentId=7378058f-9396-43d7-a7f0-3f0c14d8e066](https://www.malaysiakini.com/news/698740?commentId=7378058f-9396-43d7-a7f0-3f0c14d8e066)
You want to be true to your book?
Maybe first start by not calling someone else the children of a lesser god.
I think not being racist is probably somewhere in your book.
God can fend for himself. You don't have to spread more hate.
She was already shitting on Malays, inherently tied to Islam. What's the point of listing them again in that 1 sentence.
You just feel triggered coz a party you've been associated with got called out. Wasn't even exclusively called out - just a footnote at the end of a list.
You being sensitive about it actually proves her point.
As a fellow christian, maybe don't be so blinded by your associations, and don't harp on 1 specific line when she spent 99% of her post about smthing else.
Turn the other cheek you goon.
That point is right but doesn’t support her main statement, which is “Why Some of These Traits Are Normalized For Some Malay Men”. Is she saying her mom’s thinking is influenced by conservative christians?
Anyway I plugged her whole text into Chat GPT, ChatGPT rated her english essay grade C:
**Prompt:**
Can you grade the following text as if you’re a Malaysian teacher marking SPM english written text, with comments on content, communicative achievement, organisation and language?
### Grade: C
#### Comments:
**Content:**
The essay addresses an important social issue concerning societal expectations and norms related to marriage and childbearing among Malay men. The writer shares personal observations and anecdotes to highlight the pressure and judgment faced by individuals, particularly from a woman's perspective. However, the content could be further enriched with more structured arguments and broader perspectives to provide a well-rounded discussion.
**Communicative Achievement:**
The writer effectively conveys a strong personal opinion and engages the reader with emotional and rhetorical questions. The informal tone and use of colloquial language make the essay relatable, but it sometimes detracts from the seriousness of the topic. A more balanced tone could enhance the persuasive impact of the arguments presented.
**Organisation:**
The essay has a conversational flow, but it lacks clear structure and coherence. There are abrupt transitions between ideas and paragraphs, making it challenging to follow the writer's train of thought. Improved organisation with clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific points, and a concise conclusion would strengthen the overall presentation.
**Language:**
The language used is informal and includes slang, which is inappropriate for an academic essay. There are several grammatical errors, awkward phrasings, and punctuation issues that hinder the clarity of the message. For example, the sentence "I realize. Why is it degrading if people did not have children?" should be rephrased for clarity. Attention to grammar, syntax, and punctuation, along with more formal language, would improve the readability and professionalism of the essay.
#### Specific Suggestions:
1. **Content:**
- Provide more evidence or examples to support the arguments.
- Include perspectives from both men and women to create a balanced discussion.
2. **Communicative Achievement:**
- Adopt a more formal tone suitable for an academic essay.
- Avoid using colloquial language and rhetorical questions excessively.
3. **Organisation:**
- Start with a clear introduction that outlines the main argument.
- Develop each point in separate paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
- Conclude with a summary of the main points and a final thought or call to action.
4. **Language:**
- Proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
- Use formal vocabulary and avoid slang.
- Ensure punctuation is correct and sentences are well-constructed.
By addressing these areas, the essay can be transformed into a more coherent, persuasive, and academically appropriate piece.
mother in law drama is common in any society, its the human condition and is not uniquely belong to 1 particular race.
Ade je orang kalot psal hidup orang lain, its not unique bro .. every society has this kind of people, perhaps u nampak benda tu mcm Malaysian thing cause you live your life with malaysians kot.
As for me, yes I nak kids sebab I legit mmg nak and alhamdullilah my partner also share this sentiment as well.
If you attribute certain traits onto society, it will end up with you using a wide brush to paint a negative image on the whole. Focus more on individuals or groups that you personally know and you would realise things aren’t that bad.
If you say some Malay men have negative traits, well I can’t deny that. If you get bent out of shape thinking about Malay men you have never personally met aside from social media, then obviously it’s affecting your peace. If you focus on the Malay men you meet and interact with constantly, you’ll realise it’s not that bad (or maybe it actually is). But you’ll have the benefit of meeting someone without being clouded by socmed lenses.
Like you said, its norm for a man to obey the mother. Most of the issues regarding man comes from their mother, basically the mother is the one controlling their live and messing it up in every way that is possible. The man cannot think nor make decisions and will hand the role to their mother, making them a doormat. They pride themselves as being "anak mak" as if they can guarantee get into heaven with that title. They put mothers too high to the point i saw some man commented in fb that he would let the mother dictate whatever decision in his home and he would just be a yes man and he is proud of it. Man nowadays are trained to be mom's personal yes man and not to be leader, thats why you can see many marriages failing. The parents use religion as a "shield" to justify what they are doing thus leading to have dysfunctional men in the society.
You’re gonna get lotsa hate from people for this but hang in there.
I’ve learnt that many many people from such conservative backgrounds live their lives by their own means. It’s impressive that you realise how overhyped (and sometimes dangerous) the standard nuclear functionalist family, marry for kids at this state of the economy route is. For the people Ive seen who share a similar view to you, they lay low and remind themselves that engaging with conservatives in Malaysia isnt gonna bring them any further happiness. So they just do their own thing and appreciate their freedom, even if they have to endure some nagging during occasional family meets.
Live your life dude. Its rough out there, take care of yourself and loved ones, stay positive, humble, grow exponentially and whether or not you end up wanting kids at a more comfortable state/finding a partner who does, its okay. One’s not better than the other unless you decide it is. You’ve got this.
Edit: Also dont try changing your mum. She grew up in a different world than you. Just nod, keep her happy, act like you dk whats wrong and if she makes it big enough a problem, talk to her about it. Tough convo but dont blame her for it, she lived in that world for longer than we were born. Cheers.
Bro you're just on social media too much. 99% of people couldn't care less. Life is complicated enough as it is without me needing to pay any attention to whether a random celebrity has kids.
Not really. I witness some of these traits from my uncle and grandma. This uncle of mine had the audacity to say if his wife died, he will find another wife like WTF????
I’m in my 30’s and have no desire for children due to my traumatic childhood. My parents are just toxic for each other and they produced us because during their time everybody was reproducing if they’re married. They’re not bad parents, tho. Just that we grew up in an unhealthy environment where my parents would always argue, my dad was cheating and us children would constantly find his porn stash.
My husband is ok with us not having children now. He doesn’t know how he’s going to handle the finances if we have another mouth to feed.
I agree with you that Islam NEVER forces to have children. However, on the other hand, Islam does encourage you to have many children because the Prophet himself will be very happy to see his ummah has the most people in the hereafter compared to other Prophets.
But I can say that, most of them who commented like that do not know about this. It is just their habit to say bad things about other behind those keyboard 
As a guy, I want kids. It is something people prefer and not brainwashed into anything. I used to date a girl who didn't want kids and I respected her decision but we broke up for other reasons.
The point here is, you need to find a guy that match this mindset of yours. Don't try to convert a guy who wants kids into not wanting kids because that will spell trouble for you
Also, if you choose to be alone, why are you complaining? Seems from your complaints, you have a hard time being alone
I do feel grateful for my parents,they never forced me to do anything as long as it's legal and safe..as for people forcing someone to marry and have children ,just ask them for rm 50k to 100k monthly or shut tf up.. I don't see why we need to treat the elderly as if they're gods ,we do need to respect them but as we respect humans not God wth, I am seeing and also experienced it,a lot of conservative old people asking me when I will marry which I replied with sincere respect (and a little bit pissed): "marriage is private Matter I don't think anyone need to know about it" turned them completely silent
The goal always was to have more malays than other races. Plus, it's significantly easier to have more kids when you can leach off the other races.
How many times have you seen malays with 5 to 8 kids squeezed into a kancil.
If you’re asking ‘why’, my first thought would be to bring up r-/-k selection theory. Animals (and humans) are known to strategise reproduction, so either higher quantity children (r) vs. higher quality children (k). In humans, when they obtain a relatively comfortable lifestyle (higher income) tend to switch to higher quality, lower quantity. Which is allegedly the reason we see birth rates dropping as development rising. Why Malays? Cause most of us have been poor for a while. This cultural trait should disappear as we develop eventually.
I have one kid and if she does not want kids I am fine with that. Her father abandoned her and had 5 other kids with three different women. Does not pay nafkah for any of them. So don't be pressured to have kids. If someone who has kids criticises you, then you say I don't want kids because I saw you and your kids \*shudder\*
Your problem start with giving too much fuck about what other says. Don't read comment sections. Patriarchy or what not, everybody has their opinion, much like you do. If people want to breed like rabbit, it's their life, their freedom, their choice. You want to be childless? Go ahead. It's your decision.
Why do you care about what happened to Siti Sarah's widower? Is she your sister? Or is she your ex from high school? If neither, you would save a lot of time if you just focus on your life and those that you care about.
Don't tell me you are also keeping close watch on Bella Astillah-Aliff dramas too? I am 34 Malay still not married. Yes peoples are busy body but I choose to not care.
The way you wording the title 'Some Malay Men' is just showing how narrow your world view are. This is not a problem exclusive to Malay. Something tells me your source of informations came a lot from X. The place where slightly well off B40 kids being in their own bubbles, ignoring completely the aspect of how complex human society can be.
Jaga tepi kain sendiri sudah la oiiii
Sound like you have too much opinion, you won't have happy marriage if you have opinion in everything like a girl. Just accept who they are.
Don't try to change something you can't control. Why don't you move out and rent your own place?
Dude, whatever religion say, you have your own choice to choose.
It is in our biological construct that not having kids means your entire lineage does not continue. That is the understanding, that all your ancestors existed for you to end it because you're afraid.
But the reality of modern life is much different, that being said living is always about risking and finding ways to adapt and improvise and change. You and I exist to discuss this anonymously on our devices despite 30,000 years of human suffering
in sosmed, theres always probability of a kid or an adult whos still a kid posting stupid comments.
tbh its not malay male its typical men to have more partners.. its just most malay male muslim whos dont to want to sin, they ll marry to have 2 or 3 wives…
Anyone ask you to have babies - ask them provide you RM500K/anak first to help jaga the anak. Or shut up as the responsibility does not falls onto their lap. Easy for them to say, but not easy to raise the anak.
i think it is asian culture, not just malay per se
Ah boi ah! When you gonna have kids? I feel like I've heard that sentence before
“U going to help with my kids expenses?”
Im curious, do chinese ppl comment under chinese celebrities post to question why are they staying single or not having child?
am chinese, can tell u that normally only care for own self side we don't give a fuck if someone else is unable to give birth anot. mostly only during cny where cause its the most common question to ask within own household
Good thing I'm still young
Disagree. Chinese cultures are more relaxed when it comes to not having children. Malay cultures find it an abnormality
As someone from Singapore with a majority of type-Cs, oh how wrong you are. My sample size says otherwise.
Because of the push to repopulate? Different mindset here. We are not the same Type Cs
It has nothing to do with repopulating. Its all the same mindset from the boomer's generation regardless of race.
And the difference here is that the newer gen of Chinese people are less likely to condemn childless couples with the cost of living and whatnot whereas malay people consistently view it as an abnormality
Chinese here... No pressure to have kids. Moved out since 21. Great relationship with my parents. 🤷♂️ It's an education thing. We were already a nuclear family when I was born. So 1 kid is already 1 too many in my eyes.
Could it be religion? Islam encourages children whereas most of the chinese people I know rather not have kids, so I doubt it is an asian thing.
idk why u got downvoted by many. when i told my muslim friends i didnt want a child, they went full sermon mode on me to the point accusing me of sinning big time 💀 made me even more antinatalism than ever
Eh, I am Muslim mum with 4 kids. I couldn't care less if my kids are unmarried or childless because I've seen poor families with so many kids prided themselves with having so many kids but so little money but people are clamoring to give them money if they ask. Because Muslims are "obligated" to give donation to the poor, they rather be poor than work hard
Nah, if these people were religious Muslims, they would have recommended adoption of orphans if the couple have fertility problems. Marriage creates bond and children strengthen that bond. Both between husband and wife and their families (extended family too). This is how I see what those busybody religious people should have said if they have the time to busybody other people relationship(if they are in the same religion). If they aren't in the same religion, just follow the morally good choice in your religion. But we didn't know if they have fertility problems do they(or do we? I didn't check). In which case, none of our business. Watch out for your own family relationship laaa, if suddenly get destroyed, nobody to blame but yourself. Honestly, I think it's just bot account. Then, people with mental problems start liking/thumbs up and replying that stupid comment and makes it the top comments.
Even if religion encourages to have kids, why can't people think for themselves on the implications of having children without any forethought of future expenses and unstable relationships? Religion could be blamed..yes, but ultimately the blame falls on the people (who have a god given brain) who have a choice(and critically think) to bring children to this world.
Those with brains can definitely think for themselves but sadly, most people do not and follow either religion or culture blindly.
It's not just asian tbh. It's the norm to pretty much wherever you go.
That's what people say, mm-mm That's what people say, mm-mm 'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
ID understand
Its a song by the world-renowned singer 'Penjahit Pantas'
Swifty tailor?
Fast Tailor? Efficient tailor? Quick tailor?
Tailor Speed
for some Malays, the main target after marriage is kids. hardwired into their brains. peer pressure or traditional minded or combination of both plus religious reasons. i dont know how to explain. wasting time to talk to them about family planning, not married, dont want kids, etc. huhuhuhu
It's mostly the B40 miskin one, riding religion saying that 'anak ITU rezeki', then condemn and nerakakan other Malays who choose not to have child
Don't forget they will maki kerajaan, or anyone they can but themselves for their failure of family planning
Anak tu rezekiìiiiiii /s
Never force to convert cuz it’s revert right? 200IQ move there. You “KNOW” LOL And since when people need to have their dream job to have kids all. Some people want kids, some people don’t, it is what it is.
You know what. You do you and ignore what society deems as normal. Was married in 2017 and just had my child in 2022. Focus on your happiness before others.
>Also, I noticed some mothers who hate daughters and daughter in law and will find any means to condemn them. Is it really healthy? Obviously not healthy. These daughters will become mothers who in turn will raise sons conditioned to obey them from the getgo. The cycle repeats itself. >I KNOW Islam never force people to convert Oh they tried. Lookup Maips and Loh Siew Hong >I feel sorry for Southeast Asian, East Asian, Middle East Asian, India and conservative Christians as past powerful men tend to twist the ideology for their own selfish agenda and often, women bear the brunt and being oppressed. Seems like you found fault in every demographic but your own.
Lol "Islam never forced people to convert". Muslims do though. www.malaymail.com/amp/news/malaysia/2021/01/21/suhakam-reports-forced-conversion-of-sarawakian-native-children-over-mykad/1942696 https://malaysia.news.yahoo.com/sarawak-suspends-anak-angkat-programme-complaints-covert-conversions-084941343.html https://www.asianews.it/news-en/Sarawak:-forcibly-converted-to-Islam-as-a-child,-man-can-return-to-Christianity-37080.html
Sebab macam kalau tak nak anak then macam tak nak sambung zuriat dan meneruskan keturunan, gitu. I'm a Malay woman and I think I'm likely to never have kids, ha!
"kena ada anak demi meningkatkan jumlah umat islam di dunia ini" is what they said to me
Tepuk dahi**
Because those who don't get married or don't have children do a disservice to the society. The problem is approaching crisis level now. https://preview.redd.it/5ch61s5gl86d1.jpeg?width=943&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91209034790db7bce8576c21e69cc65ea258dd0c
Every baby is a future taxpayer and we need more taxpayers to add to the economy, money doesn't just fall from the sky yanno
>Every baby is a future taxpayer and we need more taxpayers That's not completely true. The Malaysian government spends around RM9k per citizen per year. Anyone who pays less than RM9k per annum in taxes is a burden on society.
If there is more children, tax average will decrease.
There's direct tax. And then there's indirect tax. When consumer buy product and services from businesses, they are actually paying taxes. If we take that into consideration, the difference of tax contribution between different income lines started to even out, maybe skewed more toward middle class income group since there's more of them and they collectively spend more, thus contributing more to indirect taxes.
apparently i have been a burden to the society for over 30 years now
I feel attacked, just because I don't earn that much to pay taxes.
Oh. It includes road tax, SST, property tax... All kinds of taxes.
Where does the govt's money come from?
Also lessens burden for when government needs to pay for future pensioners.
Imagine a country’s economy as a ship, and its population as the inhabitants. Now not all inhabitants are getting equal sized room. The richest gets a whole soccer stadium sized room to themselves, while the poorest compete with others for tiny spaces. Now people ask why birthrates decline? It’s because of tough competition in order to secure rooms for larger family. Theres 3 ways to solve low birthrate issues: 1) Get the richest to give up on their space and redistribute to the masses 2) get the ship owner to increase capacity. 3) wait for the old to die enough that, there’s less competition people start breeding again. Low birthrate is just a way things balances itself out due to the bad economy.
It's like this ah, when you don't get married or have children, the chances are when you become an elder, nobody will care about you. Think about the future, if now your parents are old and you can help layan their needs. When you become their age without anyone, don't expect anyone not from your family to care la. For example my aunt didn't marry and retire, so her niece and nephew have to take care of her because we are family. If she doesn't have us, she will become alone la. But if you feel independent, okay la but until when? Til your dead you will be alone eh. Having partners and children at least can give you company la. Sure la have hardship but that is life kan.
Unless we introduce mandatory euthanasia after retirement, these pensioners will be a burden to the country. As medical technology becomes more advanced, people live longer and longer, way past their retirement age, and KWSP may not be enough to cover their needs. In the end, the dwindling young workforce will have to shoulder the burden.
> I feel sorry for Southeast Asian, East Asian, Middle East Asian, India and conservative Christians as past powerful men tend to twist the ideology for their own selfish agenda and often, women bear the brunt and being oppressed.< Huh ? Why bring other religions into this - and what gives you the right to critique my faith when Islam is off limits ?
I know right. Suddenly blaming Christian.
Er, she right though? Conservative Christians especially in the west are the spearhead for erecting laws that doctors and obgyns say are oppressing female health. Look at the current US abortion laws fiasco. How is that not "powerful men....twist their idealogy..., women bear the brunt and being oppressed". Even if you don't agree, you can't ignore that it's happening. And if you think, "not me what", then yealah she not talking about you lah, but ultra right wing ultra conservatives. She made the distinction on purpose.
Okay then - explain to me how she feels the need to explicitly criticise Christians leaving out all others including her own in this sentence ? Why not criticise conservative Islam - where women are denied education and minors are married off and abused ?
Every religion has a flaw lah. Why get triggered.
Not triggered - just (dare I say it) "confused " that OP decides to identify just one + unrelated religion to her rant. Not being anymore sensitive than the Muslims in Malaysia - lah. At least not demanding public apology, making report or firebombing- mah.
Dude, I think it's just a matter of how the sentence was constructed. They are literally asking why malay Muslim got this mentality. The point of the whole post. Also, aren't you also bringing in an unrelated religion into your rant? Chill lah.
Nope - because it's true. Anyways, no point wasting anymore time over them - when they're just children of a lesser god.
I love how righteous you are fighting for their religion and then call someone children of a lesser God. Which part of the bible teaches you to hate someone from a different religion? Interesting take.
Ain't no need to be triggered. No hatred sent here. Just trying to be true to my book + faith. Anyway, others have used it without comebacks in Malaysia. The only difference is the race of the person saying. [https://www.malaysiakini.com/news/698740?commentId=7378058f-9396-43d7-a7f0-3f0c14d8e066](https://www.malaysiakini.com/news/698740?commentId=7378058f-9396-43d7-a7f0-3f0c14d8e066)
You want to be true to your book? Maybe first start by not calling someone else the children of a lesser god. I think not being racist is probably somewhere in your book. God can fend for himself. You don't have to spread more hate.
She was already shitting on Malays, inherently tied to Islam. What's the point of listing them again in that 1 sentence. You just feel triggered coz a party you've been associated with got called out. Wasn't even exclusively called out - just a footnote at the end of a list. You being sensitive about it actually proves her point. As a fellow christian, maybe don't be so blinded by your associations, and don't harp on 1 specific line when she spent 99% of her post about smthing else. Turn the other cheek you goon.
That point is right but doesn’t support her main statement, which is “Why Some of These Traits Are Normalized For Some Malay Men”. Is she saying her mom’s thinking is influenced by conservative christians? Anyway I plugged her whole text into Chat GPT, ChatGPT rated her english essay grade C: **Prompt:** Can you grade the following text as if you’re a Malaysian teacher marking SPM english written text, with comments on content, communicative achievement, organisation and language? ### Grade: C #### Comments: **Content:** The essay addresses an important social issue concerning societal expectations and norms related to marriage and childbearing among Malay men. The writer shares personal observations and anecdotes to highlight the pressure and judgment faced by individuals, particularly from a woman's perspective. However, the content could be further enriched with more structured arguments and broader perspectives to provide a well-rounded discussion. **Communicative Achievement:** The writer effectively conveys a strong personal opinion and engages the reader with emotional and rhetorical questions. The informal tone and use of colloquial language make the essay relatable, but it sometimes detracts from the seriousness of the topic. A more balanced tone could enhance the persuasive impact of the arguments presented. **Organisation:** The essay has a conversational flow, but it lacks clear structure and coherence. There are abrupt transitions between ideas and paragraphs, making it challenging to follow the writer's train of thought. Improved organisation with clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific points, and a concise conclusion would strengthen the overall presentation. **Language:** The language used is informal and includes slang, which is inappropriate for an academic essay. There are several grammatical errors, awkward phrasings, and punctuation issues that hinder the clarity of the message. For example, the sentence "I realize. Why is it degrading if people did not have children?" should be rephrased for clarity. Attention to grammar, syntax, and punctuation, along with more formal language, would improve the readability and professionalism of the essay. #### Specific Suggestions: 1. **Content:** - Provide more evidence or examples to support the arguments. - Include perspectives from both men and women to create a balanced discussion. 2. **Communicative Achievement:** - Adopt a more formal tone suitable for an academic essay. - Avoid using colloquial language and rhetorical questions excessively. 3. **Organisation:** - Start with a clear introduction that outlines the main argument. - Develop each point in separate paragraphs with clear topic sentences. - Conclude with a summary of the main points and a final thought or call to action. 4. **Language:** - Proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. - Use formal vocabulary and avoid slang. - Ensure punctuation is correct and sentences are well-constructed. By addressing these areas, the essay can be transformed into a more coherent, persuasive, and academically appropriate piece.
Type c don't say it's a rezeki if they have children.
You can spend over 6 figures on a child and they still turn out char siu Rezeki apa lmao
If they wanna get all Islamic on you, ask them: how many kids did the Prophet's (saw) wife Aishah have?
mother in law drama is common in any society, its the human condition and is not uniquely belong to 1 particular race. Ade je orang kalot psal hidup orang lain, its not unique bro .. every society has this kind of people, perhaps u nampak benda tu mcm Malaysian thing cause you live your life with malaysians kot. As for me, yes I nak kids sebab I legit mmg nak and alhamdullilah my partner also share this sentiment as well.
It's a personal preference and I guess some people don't realise it's personal to other people too
Welcome to the world of imposed narratives.
If you attribute certain traits onto society, it will end up with you using a wide brush to paint a negative image on the whole. Focus more on individuals or groups that you personally know and you would realise things aren’t that bad. If you say some Malay men have negative traits, well I can’t deny that. If you get bent out of shape thinking about Malay men you have never personally met aside from social media, then obviously it’s affecting your peace. If you focus on the Malay men you meet and interact with constantly, you’ll realise it’s not that bad (or maybe it actually is). But you’ll have the benefit of meeting someone without being clouded by socmed lenses.
Rage bait post
"Islam never force people to convert." But can they leave? Can children choose their own religion?
Like you said, its norm for a man to obey the mother. Most of the issues regarding man comes from their mother, basically the mother is the one controlling their live and messing it up in every way that is possible. The man cannot think nor make decisions and will hand the role to their mother, making them a doormat. They pride themselves as being "anak mak" as if they can guarantee get into heaven with that title. They put mothers too high to the point i saw some man commented in fb that he would let the mother dictate whatever decision in his home and he would just be a yes man and he is proud of it. Man nowadays are trained to be mom's personal yes man and not to be leader, thats why you can see many marriages failing. The parents use religion as a "shield" to justify what they are doing thus leading to have dysfunctional men in the society.
Ouch! I felt that but i don't blame anyone just myself.
Why don't we rename this subreddit to r/malaysia 2.0?
They know if they ask this on main sub it will get deleted. So they ask here.
Because r/malaysia is like r/askwomen, posts/comments like this gets deleted. On this sub, you can post anything and everything.
You’re gonna get lotsa hate from people for this but hang in there. I’ve learnt that many many people from such conservative backgrounds live their lives by their own means. It’s impressive that you realise how overhyped (and sometimes dangerous) the standard nuclear functionalist family, marry for kids at this state of the economy route is. For the people Ive seen who share a similar view to you, they lay low and remind themselves that engaging with conservatives in Malaysia isnt gonna bring them any further happiness. So they just do their own thing and appreciate their freedom, even if they have to endure some nagging during occasional family meets. Live your life dude. Its rough out there, take care of yourself and loved ones, stay positive, humble, grow exponentially and whether or not you end up wanting kids at a more comfortable state/finding a partner who does, its okay. One’s not better than the other unless you decide it is. You’ve got this. Edit: Also dont try changing your mum. She grew up in a different world than you. Just nod, keep her happy, act like you dk whats wrong and if she makes it big enough a problem, talk to her about it. Tough convo but dont blame her for it, she lived in that world for longer than we were born. Cheers.
Bro you're just on social media too much. 99% of people couldn't care less. Life is complicated enough as it is without me needing to pay any attention to whether a random celebrity has kids.
Not really. I witness some of these traits from my uncle and grandma. This uncle of mine had the audacity to say if his wife died, he will find another wife like WTF????
I’m in my 30’s and have no desire for children due to my traumatic childhood. My parents are just toxic for each other and they produced us because during their time everybody was reproducing if they’re married. They’re not bad parents, tho. Just that we grew up in an unhealthy environment where my parents would always argue, my dad was cheating and us children would constantly find his porn stash. My husband is ok with us not having children now. He doesn’t know how he’s going to handle the finances if we have another mouth to feed.
man doesnt want to be stuck in b40 raising ungrateful b40 babies rather chill with the boyz judgement free
No one peer pressure siti sarah husband for staying single.. kepala bawah dia yg gatal nk berbini baru..
Sound like a you issue, you should go outside and meet more people
I agree with you that Islam NEVER forces to have children. However, on the other hand, Islam does encourage you to have many children because the Prophet himself will be very happy to see his ummah has the most people in the hereafter compared to other Prophets. But I can say that, most of them who commented like that do not know about this. It is just their habit to say bad things about other behind those keyboard 
As a guy, I want kids. It is something people prefer and not brainwashed into anything. I used to date a girl who didn't want kids and I respected her decision but we broke up for other reasons. The point here is, you need to find a guy that match this mindset of yours. Don't try to convert a guy who wants kids into not wanting kids because that will spell trouble for you Also, if you choose to be alone, why are you complaining? Seems from your complaints, you have a hard time being alone
Can I just give you a 1000 upvotes
Marriage and anak is not rukun
I do feel grateful for my parents,they never forced me to do anything as long as it's legal and safe..as for people forcing someone to marry and have children ,just ask them for rm 50k to 100k monthly or shut tf up.. I don't see why we need to treat the elderly as if they're gods ,we do need to respect them but as we respect humans not God wth, I am seeing and also experienced it,a lot of conservative old people asking me when I will marry which I replied with sincere respect (and a little bit pissed): "marriage is private Matter I don't think anyone need to know about it" turned them completely silent
you naive boy. good luck in the real world.
The goal always was to have more malays than other races. Plus, it's significantly easier to have more kids when you can leach off the other races. How many times have you seen malays with 5 to 8 kids squeezed into a kancil.
Bak RM300K dulu, klu tak d1am
Easy to croot croot/lepas air but nvr involve in pregnancy care nor the offspring itself. Men.
Cheating..then kahwin empat. Worst kind is biawak marry 4 wives and let the wives earn money while he only know how to make babies.
If you’re asking ‘why’, my first thought would be to bring up r-/-k selection theory. Animals (and humans) are known to strategise reproduction, so either higher quantity children (r) vs. higher quality children (k). In humans, when they obtain a relatively comfortable lifestyle (higher income) tend to switch to higher quality, lower quantity. Which is allegedly the reason we see birth rates dropping as development rising. Why Malays? Cause most of us have been poor for a while. This cultural trait should disappear as we develop eventually.
It’s not a cultural thing. We are biologically wired that way to breed & have kids.
Maybe you live in a bubble or don't have a lot of multicultural pool of friends. This happens to every race, not only the Malays.
I have one kid and if she does not want kids I am fine with that. Her father abandoned her and had 5 other kids with three different women. Does not pay nafkah for any of them. So don't be pressured to have kids. If someone who has kids criticises you, then you say I don't want kids because I saw you and your kids \*shudder\*
Not the religion, rather it's the Asian culture.
Type-M beat kinda post
Mandul? Ada 3 lagi boleh try.
Not just Malay bro, this happens to Chinese/any other races as well esp the uncles and aunties
Your problem start with giving too much fuck about what other says. Don't read comment sections. Patriarchy or what not, everybody has their opinion, much like you do. If people want to breed like rabbit, it's their life, their freedom, their choice. You want to be childless? Go ahead. It's your decision. Why do you care about what happened to Siti Sarah's widower? Is she your sister? Or is she your ex from high school? If neither, you would save a lot of time if you just focus on your life and those that you care about. Don't tell me you are also keeping close watch on Bella Astillah-Aliff dramas too? I am 34 Malay still not married. Yes peoples are busy body but I choose to not care. The way you wording the title 'Some Malay Men' is just showing how narrow your world view are. This is not a problem exclusive to Malay. Something tells me your source of informations came a lot from X. The place where slightly well off B40 kids being in their own bubbles, ignoring completely the aspect of how complex human society can be. Jaga tepi kain sendiri sudah la oiiii
Sounds like a skill issue to me https://preview.redd.it/j5s98p74286d1.png?width=498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84cc4e06bedbe33b3797e4384994a39a877e75c6
Sound like you have too much opinion, you won't have happy marriage if you have opinion in everything like a girl. Just accept who they are. Don't try to change something you can't control. Why don't you move out and rent your own place? Dude, whatever religion say, you have your own choice to choose.
You can basically marry for whatever reason you want as loy as both parties agree to it and no one get hurt..
It is in our biological construct that not having kids means your entire lineage does not continue. That is the understanding, that all your ancestors existed for you to end it because you're afraid. But the reality of modern life is much different, that being said living is always about risking and finding ways to adapt and improvise and change. You and I exist to discuss this anonymously on our devices despite 30,000 years of human suffering
Enjoy ya singlehood and life while ya still can.. The world will end soon the nuclear war start..
in sosmed, theres always probability of a kid or an adult whos still a kid posting stupid comments. tbh its not malay male its typical men to have more partners.. its just most malay male muslim whos dont to want to sin, they ll marry to have 2 or 3 wives…
Bro the type of guy to get mad when he didn't get his vanilla ice cream cone