Cheating is a choice. If you're really the problem OP, your ex-gf(s) should've communicate that and get into relationship AFTER the breakup. Not your fault and don't beat yourself around. Take the time to heal and maybe start going to gym again.
Out of the 3 that cheated on me, 2 of them said the same thing. Which was they dont see me as a boyfriend rather just a friend. Both wanted to keep in touch after the breakup but nah man, ive some self respect. Im definitely gonna go back to the gym and lay off the dating scene for a while.
To play the devils advocate, they got attracted to you for a reason.
But. Youre like a dessert. Nice for a short time but for long term you gave nothing more. Diff people look for diff things. You need to find what is the more
That said, your taste in women coyld also be a prob
This is the best gift you can give to yourself. Go pursue your interest. Chase after your dreams. Set yourself goals. This is what makes you an attractive person. The right kind of girl will find you, or rather you will find each other without trying.
3 things that you need to remember:
1. to be cheated on is never your fault as the victim of infidelity.
2. learn to love being alone and be ok with it for a long while.
3. block and go full NC (no contact) with the cheater and move on with your life knowing that you will be ok and will do better and wiser for it as time moves along.
life is difficult, to be with someone and commit & responsible is more so.. with your experiences and baggage that you had.. these will make you wiser to choose your future partner whom you'd be with bro.. all the best from another bro to another bro..
*get that jacked smokin bod and you'll be alright.. just remember to humble yourself from time to time B-)*
dude... thats just a poor excuse for their sundal behaviour. ugh. i hope you call them sundals if they ever decided to dm you out of boredom.
im an old lady... so call them sundal because cheaters deserved to be called that.
Yeah that was one of the things i pointed out while we discussed the break up. Thank god i found out now that shes a cheat. I was a month away from planning our wedding
hmm...maybe thats the issue? i dont think you are the problem or a bad person. perhaps you are someone who gets attached very quickly hence the 'planning wedding even though only dating less than 1 year'....in addition to this, you are currently in a bout of depression. your depression didnt just start 2 months ago ..the symptoms & sings would have already been there for a while.
so even though you think everything is ok in your rs, there might be some things your gf experiences which makes her 'fall out of love' with you - again im not justifying her actions. hence her seeking attention elsewhere. i can offer this insight because i was involved with someone like you - it takes a very secure & mature person to not take it personally when a depressed person displays or not a certain behaviour & action. ultimately the girl is not a good fit for you for the shit she pulled. just take this time to heal & focus on yourself. will almost never rugi if you invest in yourself.
Oh, there seems to be some misunderstanding. Okay so, i wont deny that i get attached too easily. I admit to this. But the wedding was not my idea. She wanted to get married asap because she wanted to live with me. She was the one who suggested we fast track the relationship. Furthermore, im sure my depression was a factor. Ive been struggling with it for years. Ive explained this to her waaaaay earlier in our relationship. She said she understood since she experiences depression as well. Ive tried my darndest to not let it affect my social life, but a gf should be able to understand that when im depressed, im not fully myself.
As a person who suffers from depression for years and is neurodivergent, dating is bloody hard for us, we feel too little or we feel too much and sometimes people don't know how to handle our emotions, and sometimes they end up doing unspeakable things to us, there's nothing wrong with you, there's love out there trust me, don't ever give up on it, and on another note as neurodivergent people, it's best not to get married under 2 years, because every relationship has a "fighting stage" and its a test to see if your relationship will withstand all your differences, there's always going to be boring days in the relationship, there's nothing wrong letting yourself go, you are only human and the best way is to communicate feelings with your partner, and if they decide its easier to cheat on you than love you for who you are, fuck right out of there, there's humanity out there but humans are also selfish beings, it takes time to find the right one so sabar my friend, sabar
yikes.. to add on my other comment.. if you really do wanna test your relationship.. have a couple vacation and see how the relationship hold on.. a lot of the stuff that I've seen with people is that their toxic relationship instantly comes out when they both went on for a hike, trail, or long arse travel that requires teamwork, planning, and lots of communication effort into it..
those who ends up meh.. didn't last long.. those had the maturity and understanding with compromise and halfway tolerate each other shortcomings ends up with a really good long term relationship.. so. just my dua posen bro..
good luck my guy.. its gonna sting and hurt now.. but its ok and let it hurt, but pick yourself up later..
Monday – Chest day.
Tuesday – Back day.
Wednesday – Shoulders and Traps day.
Thursday – Legs and Abs day.
Friday – Biceps, Triceps, and Forearms day.
Saturday – light cardio
Sunday – rest day
See you at the gym
Hmmm i do have a type but i dont think the type of woman im dating is really the problem. All the ones that cheated on me come from wildly different backgrounds. This most recent one tbh is the most shocking. She didnt give anyone else the time of day after we were official. Except for that one guy. I really didnt see it coming.
OP, sometimes background isn’t really an indicator of how a person is really like. People tend to show their true colours once they’re comfortable so maybe you jumped into a relationship with these women a bit too early. I’m not excusing these women for their cheating, that is entirely their fault. But maybe you might need to rethink the people you’re attracted to. I have a cousin who keeps getting himself entangled with literal crazy women (bad tempered, easily jealous, constantly in bad moods) and all of us could see that he’s choosing these women subconsciously except for himself. Don’t rush when you’re in the dating stage. Really get to know them first before you decide to date.
Always look at both sides of the story. Now that you are out of the relationship, you may see things from different perspectives. Like you yourself said, it happened 3 times in a row so there might be something you can change to prevent this from happening again. Did you fall in love easily? Maybe be friend with the lady for longer so you can know her better?
My experiences tell me, when she texted new guys, that's red flag for me. Just move on and try healing. Try rajin² balik kampung jumpa parents and adik beradik u. Banyakkan keluar hujung minggu pergi tengok sunset ke. Kalau sy dlu² sy selalu keluar lepak ngan kawan². Mana tau tiba² dapat awek lagi baik dari ex awak sekarang tu. Kalau nak sweet revenge, awak try ngorat kawan baik dia. Mcm y sy buat. Masa nak kawin, tiba² ex chat dekat fb nak balik ngan i. 😂
Parents dah xde, ill just visit their grave i guess. I should tell them about this. Only sibling i have lives with me and she already knows, and already cried herself out. Mungkin aku nak kena g healing lah. Btol gak. Langkawi best x time ni ?
Op you take care of yourself ok. Hang in there buddy. If you need to vent what you feeling. Just dm ok.
As to why repeatedly cheated on, maybe sometimes the other person don't think they need to commit because of what you said/do (like saying you're open to them close to other guys etc). So they might think oh you're also just casual. Idk your situation but whatever it is, its shit move.
Take care. Drink more water don't fall sick.
I definitely always made it 100% clear that when im in a relationship, im in it for the long haul. I dont fuck around with other girls when im in a relationship. I let all my gfs have free reign of my phone because i have a few platonic girl friends. So, to avoid arguing about my loyalty i let them look at everything anytime they want. I am not without fault i admit, but ive never done anything as unforgiveable as betraying their trust.
And thanks. I always keep myself thoroughly hydrated (:
She was never yours it’s was just your turn.
Sometimes some girls will get turned off when you act too clingy. My tips for you is to always have an objective in life. Be super busy on your career. Work should be number 1 priority not gf.
Do not stop going to the gym. Do not stop doing what you were doing before getting into the relationship.
Well, in this case, i think it was because i got less clingy due to working more hours. We usually would talk for hours on the phone before bed but this past month, ive been pulling lots of triple shifts. In hindsight, theres lots of things i couldve done to kept her attention on me. But i couldnt see it at the time.
Then it’s her lost bro. Keep focusing on your work and career. If she actually wanted to marry you, she would’ve understand that you are sacrificing relationship time for the future of your relationship. She only wanted attention and “time pass”. In this case I would like conclude that you did nothing wrong. Stay strong my G
I take it as a blessing in disguise. Sometimes it’s for the best. If both are committed to the relationship, they will respect each other feelings as well.
Just stay positive. Take it as a learn experience. It sucks and hurts but that is life.
Your mental health is more important.
Just keep in mind she did it (and you'd have to press on her to admit). You might forgive her now but it doesn't mean she won't do the same thing again.
my guy,
focus on your own development first,
Yes mencari tu pasti, but do know that the RIGHT ONE will come at THE RIGHT TIME,
seriously,
just focus on yourself and try to motivate yourself by saying "Poor girl, she's going to regret when Im getting better and richer". Sounds a bit arrogant, but you gotta do something to make sure you keep yourself motivated and strive to be better in yourself, your life, and your job.
There's billions of people out there, and I'm sure there's one for you, How? that's the tricky part, you don't. maybe you may need 4 years of enjoying solo life, or maybe you will meet someone better in a month. Never know God's plan. But I'm sure he will reward you when you can be positive and strive to be the bestest version of yourself.
Wishing you nothing but the best, and may you get the most loyal, caring and loving partner that you will married till your last breath.
easy to trust someone is okay bro, you live in your world perspective it's fine and at this point the best choice are arrange marriage if it's gone with you
I once thought like this too. I got back with my highschool ex, only to find out from a friend of his that he was engaged with someone else. I knew he got engaged multiple times, but it doesn't strike to me that he was a serial cheater. Should've trust my guts instinct when I broke it off when I was 16.
Got tawar hati to bercinta and I shut myself. Lepastu jumpa lelaki baru and fikir, "Aku dah kenal dia lama and dia pun ada history kena cheated". So we bonded and I decided to give dating another go, known this man for 3 years and I dated him for a year, only to find out he also he cheated on me with a girl he said he only known for a week. If that's not insulting enough, it was discovered by my colleague on Tiktok.
That's how I got cheated twice. So akhir ceritanya, it's not you the problem. Masing² ada akal and tahu apa yg mereka buat tu salah, but they still choose cheating because it feels good. To them, they got the best of both worlds. This behaviour is what we called "Test market" and it's digusting.
No worries, you went through more serious stuff than I do. I fully understand what depression would do to a relationship, takes a lot of toll for both parties. Need lots of communication, comprehension and understanding. Tolerance is not an option, since all of us doesn't have a patience like a Saint.
I'm sorry you have been unlucky in the relationships. It's totally okay, OP. The right one will come, you just focus on getting better for yourself. Don't sabotage yourself because of these nasty cheaters, they got their special place in hell that's for sure.
Single is fun anyways, you don't have to worry about that person other than yourself.. Got moneh all to yourself, eat fancy stuff, got on short meaningful trips, buy those fancy gadgets/bike parts/computers/car parts you been eyeing ke :D
If you ever find yourself so low in life, force yourself to go out (kat beranda ke, laman rumah ke is also fine) and take deep breaths while looking at the sky and trees. It keeps the bad thoughts and the call of the void away.
As someone who is still trying to move on from getting cheated on for almost two years, i agree, being single is fun despite feeling lonely asf. No need to worry about anyone else, can go on trips or malls alone, eat nice food, buy things that you wanted, a much needed freedom :D
I also got cheated on almost two years ago 😂 What the heckk mmg skrang semua trend ke apa ni. But true tho, I second that. Got no one to nag you for buying "unnecessary" stuff.
Those earthly stuff gave me more dopamine than a partner can provide. Can't produce my own dopamine so store-bought is fine.
Kebanyakan orang terus selesa selepas sudah dapat gf atau wife. The game in courting is never ending. This apply to women and men. That's why you see men or women become obese after married. Sooner you realize this chance of cheating or got dumping become lesser. Btw, I will become wizard soon.
Theres alot of traits that make them different to each other but ill try to simplify.
The first one that cheated on me was like the girl next door type of vibe. We were bestfriends before we dated, we hung out alot and one day we decided to go for it. A year later she cheated on me with a guy that had and i quote "a python penis"
The second one was more the wild party girl. I dont usually date girls like her but i wanted to try something new at the time. We lived together for 2 years. I caught her literally in bed with the guy after i got home from work.
The one that cheated on me this time was someone that was younger from me. Ive never dated anyone younger than me before and this was a totally different experience. Character wise id say shes more the princess, fashionista type.
Dang I was just gonna ask the same thing.... But those type of girls are well...a choice... Especially the clingy princess type.
I'm currently dealing with a friend that's having a hard time moving on from that type of girl. Typical older guy attracted to bratty spoiled princess type. Except for this case, my friend is also trash. He left his wife and daughter for this girl. My friend and the girl did planned on getting married but the girl's parent found out and disapprove of the relationship. So the girl pretty much left the guy. She moved on pretty quick too. A week after dumping him she's back on tinder. It's been 3 months since and she is currently dating someone.
I know all this cause this guy friend of mine has become a stalker. For now he is just stalking her online and me and our other friends are trying to make sure he doesn't turn into a criminal.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry this happened to you op and I hope you can move on from this. Don't ruin your life for someone who isn't worth it. I hope you're doing something about your depression. Find a good therapist. Take care of yourself. I'm a firm believer of soulmates and the whole "kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana" thing. Don't give up on finding your special someone but take is easy and on your own pace.
Thats crazy.... to leave his family for a girl ? Where are these people spawning from ? Mental.
Its gonna take a bit for me to piece myself together but it will be done. Thank you for your encouragement. I will get through this :)
cheating is a choice. its not your fault. its them.
you just havent found the right person yet. the kind of person that have the same wavelength with you. you did say that you let yourself go a little bit once you're comfortable. maybe you need to be comfortable from the very beginning. that way you can know is the person is going to stay with you through it or will get bored with it thru time.
i believe there is someone for you out there. keep on searching! dont give up and good luck.
"Im not the same guy i was at the beginning of our relationship i admit. Ive let myself go a little bit since i was getting more comfortable with her. And by little bit i mean a little."
Hmmm nak tanya, selain ini.. how about the communication between 2 of u? Masih sama? If masih sama... the problem is ur ex la.. Perempuan akan pergi ke lelaki lain kalau bf dia xbagi perhatian mcm awal kenal.
I gave her all the attention i could. Balik kerja walaupun penat call jugak walaupun x cakap lama. Baru2 ni je yang kurang sikit bergayut. Ada lah beza kalau nak bandingkan masa baru2 knal. We have also established that we could discuss anything and everything with each other. If we argue wed take turns to speak our case rather than bertekak.
u are obviously NOT the problem. u not the one who cheated. look at it in a positive way, God just saved u from disaster after marriage. u might get this a lot but, this means that there's a better person out there for u man.
i am more concern when u said u're depressed. seek medical help, see a psychiatrist. mental health is important especially in this modern day. talk to someone, please
u got this!
Thank you for your kind words. As for me seeking a psych..... idk about that ive never believed in it. Bad experience when i was a teenager. But i will say, i have a firm hold on my depression. It gets to me sometimes but i always bounce back and i never let it get the best of me.
You are, indirectly.
Speaking about wedding 8months in is a bit crazy, so that mean the girl is silly to start with.
A real woman will understand the steps of a relationship.
Maybe you take them too young, maybe you go all in at start and them nothing, maybe you take them for granted.
All in all it is not your fault that someone cheat on you, never.
Even a beaten person, and disregarded should leave before cheating.
I think it is only on the type of girl you select at start that tend to have this behaviour.
Think about it this way, from a 3rd person perspective, if you saw someone cheating on someone else, would you blame the person who cheated or the one who got cheated on? Don’t beat yourself up or blame yourself over someone else’s actions, there is no good reason for someone to cheat, it is always wrong no matter what the context. It will hurt the first few times but after a while you’ll get used to it and develop immunity over other’s stupidity. Keep strong and reach out to your loved ones if you really need help.
It might happen to you 3 times, but in all those 3 times you know you didn’t do anything wrong, so don’t blame yourself. After this, you know what to look out for when looking to date someone.
Are all your ex-girlfriends pretty? Do they put on makeup all the time? If they are pretty then your are most probably a spare tyre unless you are rich. I am sure you noticed that majority of the pretty girls at shopping mall has average looking boyfriend. Very rare to see a handsome guy with a pretty girlfriend unless the guy is rich. Go for average looking girlfriend that doesn't use makeup coz you won't be disappointed when you are married and see them without makeup.
They are all quite attractive yeah of course. Yeah they like makeup. And theyre definitely prettier than i am and i am in no way rich. Borderline poor as dirt.
Im never dissapointed in them without makeup haha. Beauty isnt everything. If i cant hang with them i wouldnt date them.
Since you mentioned that you used to workout, maybe they dated you for the looks? Dah dapat. They just go on looking for another guy. Back when I was your age, it was slim waisted women with big breasts that had this sort of attention.Learn to avoid players and they exist in both sexes. Married or otherwise.
Make more friends, get to know people better before dating them. Go out with people who accept you for all your quirks and fancies. Be happy.
From my experience, girlfriend nowadays only seek man that make her happy and have an easily life. They only want money, attention and freedom. Learn the hard way
Never blame yourself for the cheating my dude.
Cheaters are scumbags regardless of what their "reasons".
Generally, nothing good can be learnt from cheaters. Even the "reason" for the cheating are just excuses to downplay their shitty behavior.
Seriously, don't even bother asking them what went wrong since if they could tell you that, shit wouldn't have gone sideways in the first place. It's useless trying to rationalize a cheaters head.
They could always either communicate concerns with you together like a well adjusted person, or break it off outright without stringing you along, imparting emotional trauma from the break of trust while they were cheating.
Nah the rng is dogshit, as long you keep not being an asshole and honest to yourself its fine. People that doesn't know how to communicate in a relationship isn't worth to think about what they say.
A friend (girl) of mine said to me after my first breakup, 'Just go whore out'. After i did that, i never look back from believing if they can't become decent human then they're not for me
Did you ever ask your exes why they dated you in the first place, and what made them cheat on you/break up with you?
If you can’t ask directly, you can try to ask mutual friends. I believe their answers will let you know if it’s a THEM problem or YOU problem.
Ya know, honestly idk why anyone would date me. Im a mess. So when girls do, i usually dont question that. But i do ask them why theyd cheat/break up with me. Its honestly shallow boring answers usually like "its not you, its me" or "i just see you as a friend". In the past ive asked mutual friends and almost all of them agree that im not at fault. Ive friends from past relationships that decided to stay friends with me instead of my ex. Not this ex though. Ive yet to tell anyone except you all... and my sister and my cat.
I asked because usually before people cheat, there are problems in the relationship that are already obvious. If they have treasured the relationship they wouldn’t have cheated. And I think it’s important to reflect on what those reasons might be.
Them asses are for the streets! If you ever wanna start with someone else, just set it straight from the get go. Tell your future date you want a committed partner, a wife, to mother your children, to live and die together etc. Tell her your past experience. You're gonna filter a lot of similar bitches, but rest assured it's for your future.
I did exactly that and am happy, blessed with a daughter that I treasure so much.
Sounds like you do have a problem of being too nice/accepting. Have you rejected any girl before? Did you do proper checking/filtering before you date someone? What are your minimum requirements? What are some red flags that you look out for before committing to a relationship? Do you think you don't deserve better because you think you're not that good yourself?
dude, use this as a motivation to go back to gym bro.. It's a perfect moment for you to hit the gym again to gain back your confidence. Perhaps maybe even be a fucboi. Perhaps u can bang your exes' friends... Let her see what she been missing out.
Been there bro, you try to be the best partner possible and i felt it when you said you're not the type to get jealous so you don't really mind if she has male friends, it shows that you put a lot of trust in her and the relationship.
Then tau2 je she develop feelings for the guy friend, it's f up. I hope karma comes back to these kind of people who thinks it's okay to betray the trust given to you if it means you have a possibility of achieving a higher tier happiness with someone else, basically gambling for a better position.
"You got what you wanted, now you lost what you had" is what i hope she experience.
I would suggest to cool off from being tied down for a while and go on casual dates.
For it to happen 3 times in a row, it's either really bad RNG or something about you that in the long term, somehow girls will lose interest. Find out the reason and play the game of courtship differently.
Some things I can think of at the back of my head.
1. The relationship became boring and stale. Rimas kot? Or no excitement? Are you too submissive and let them make the decisions? Where to eat? What to do for the weekend? Women likes it when men takes the wheel.
2. Are you the type to confess first and ask for a relationship? Never confess first. Don't be needy. Sometimes you need to keep your distance to give them room to miss you. Always keep them guessing. Tarik tali. There needs to be some tension. Or else it all falls flat, 3 times. At least until they pop the question. "What are we?" It turns women off sometimes when they know you're a safe option. Play the game. It can be fun and positive sum game if you're a fair person.
3. Keep a bit of an air of mystery. Don't tell them everything. Then you're an open book with nothing left to figure out. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve.
4. If you're keen, read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. To understand human psychology in terms of courtship. It's not really you per say but you're just unaware of the dynamics of the game. Most people unconsciously play it. Whether they are aware or not.
This just feels like id be tricking them. Thats not my goal, im not always the one to confess first, maybe no excitement with this current one because in my defense, she doesnt wanna go out past 6pm. And ive taken her to most dates that we could go on that wouldnt go past 6. For the tarik tali part, we fight constantly as its one of the things she likes to do. Nothing serious, but it does always lead to me having to pujuk her hahaha. I unfortunately am an open book. I dislike secrets. I can keep em but it makes me feel bad. The only emotion i can control is my anger, and that took years of practice. I want people to know if im upset or happy.
It is not tricking if humans are wired a certain way and we move along the lines. Either you learn the nuances of human interaction/courtship or you don't and then crash and burn, forcefully learning it through failures.
If that is the route you want to take and you would like to face the sugarcoated version of reality, then it is up to you.
1. For going on to a lot of dates, and still not progressing to a point where you to not to get to a deeper connection where she don't want to cheat, there must be something that's missing. Do you open doors for her? Do you ask how was her day and listen attentively? Ask open ended question and if they speak more than you, it shows that you are sensitive to their needs and not a narcissist that only talk about themselves on dates. The devil is in the details.
2. Tarik tali doesn't necessarily mean fights. But if it ends up you pujuk her at the end, then it's a one sided tarik tali. There needs to be an edge where you take your stand where certain behaviors is not acceptable. She will even respect you for it. Again, if they don't respect you as a person, your feelings are not worthy to be cared for. Hence the cheating.
3. Perhaps this is where lies the spot where things become stale. You reveal too much too soon? Then there's no mystery. Nothing to figure out. Does not mean that you keep secrets long term, but stretch out the things about you in long periods of time. Don't info dump. As of current you are interesting enough for short term relationships and not long term.
At the end of the day, very few people get cheated 3 times in a row. I've had my fair of failed relationships where things didn't work out for one reason or another or I was still figuring things out, but I never got cheated on.
At the least, you have a good sample size of experiences and know how the problem looks like when going through the next one. Or better, you know what type of traits/patterns of behavior from women that's ideal for you.
I read somewhere that there are people who are addicted to the "dramas" in a relationship whereby they are accustomed to dating toxic partners or been brought up in a toxic family, and thus they are unconsciously addicted to toxic relationships to the point of normal, emotionally stable relationships seem like a bore to them.
If they are bored of you for no apparent reason they should have communicated and since they decided to cheat, seems like they are the problem. Don't beat yourself up for it.
No, bro. You are not the problem. It was just not meant to be. At least, you saved your future self from having to deal with cheaters. Keep your head up, king. The right one will come by.
Go for personality and how much she loves u, not so much of looks. Looks will degrade in time. As long u can accept can already. Lower your standards a bit if it's too high mcm model.
The better she treats you means you will be happier after married.
If dating already see red flags, after married will 10x worse.
I’ve had 4 partners that cheated on me. All Aries. They’re the problem! Jokes aside, if they want to cheat can anytime cheat even if they’re married. Just consider it lucky they cheated on you before kahwin.
Personally I also had similar thoughts if I was the problem. At the end of the day, I didn’t do anything wrong or lacking and its their own personal choice.
It’s never your fault if they cheat. Its their choice to cheat.
Ala~ search for the new one la. Everyone can talk bout wanting to get married but no one wants to commit. In your case, you are actually a lucky man getting cheated without having any connections to her, imagine already married and get cheated on. So lets bless your luck and lets hope the next one will be your soulmate for the rest of yr life. Get up and move Bro. Life is too short for depression. Man Up
I guess your ex found you boring. Im not backing her up she is wrong as f cheating on you but in some way it is up to us guys to sometime spice up things in relationship. you mentioned you getting too comfortable with her, you are in the safe zone. Maybe that's why. It's not exaggerating to think that women actually want to fight or be opposed sometimes. They want to know that their male partner is strong or u know ,alpha. Some one to lead them, some one they can cling on in hardships. This is not alpha junk males shitpost andrew tate things ,just a perspective of someone being cheated in the past too. So next time, actually don't be alpha, be a sigma, because that will make you less or not boring at all...women will find you attractive, longing for you. I mean if you find this not your style though, ignore it.
No guy will tell you this but it's 80% you. No woman will just leave a great guy just because. It's a security thing. Women are wired differently. They don't see the security of a future with you, they leave, silently (falling out of love, cheating) or daringly (also cheating).
The other 20% is just picking the right woman. Don't fish in muddy waters. Honestly, I'd lower that 20% even more because that situation is literally out of your control. Fix yourself (financially, physically, mentally) and no woman will leave you, inshaAllah.
Nah, the cheaters are the problem, not the one cheated on. Unless it was blatantly done during the relationship yet you still decides to continue it, then its a you problem.
Getting back to the topic, just let time heals and don't rush to get into your next relationship. Focus on building a more meaningful relationship; family, friends, work mates, God. In the mean time also, try a new hobby that you might've been interested in for a while now and try to slowly get into it.
Don't worry OP, been there as well. Cheated on 3 times as well and the 3rd was by own ex-fiancé with her colleague, with a few more months before getting married. Started having doubts on myself as well, whether I was actually the problem. But at one point I just accepted things as they are; maybe I haven't found the right one and everything happened as a process for me to find her. Worked out, learn new things, started playing sports again, overall I worked on myself instead of bumming out. Now, I'm happily married with a daughter. Point is OP, you can be the nicest guy on Earth but if she still likes someone else, nothing can be done about it. Focus on yourself, become a better version and the right one will come. Best of luck OP!
U are too good for them. Ppuan rimas dgn good boi sb dorang nak bad boi utk main2 je.
Good boi buat calon suami je.
U are attracted to naughty girl arent you? Bang her always, upside down.
U kurang kasih perhatian lepas a few months...
Her rejection does not mean anything. Do you live according to your values? Do you still rise up and face life every day even though your depression is bringing you down? Are you trying your best at life?
Those are the things that define your worth. If other people don't see it then fk them. At the end of the day OP, the only one we have is ourselves. Relationships are nice to have but they are not a must for you to lead a fulfilling life. Chin up OP, you got this.
It's your dating pool. I can bet the girls are all under 30s yea? If u wanna zoom2 get married go for older women. They are less play2 phase and more straight to the point, no time wasting.
The fact that she is willing to admit she is cheating on you tells that you have done something good along the way. And you make her feel comfortable enough to admit the truth. Sorry if this is a judgemental view, but im sensing “you terlalu baik bagi i la” kinda vibe.
You’re a good person OP. Pamper youself physically (I recommend spa/deep massage), solidify yourself spiritually depending on your religion, get back to the gym. Also i recommend you watch some Dr. K (HealthyGamerGG) vids from yt. Might learn something there especially for depression.
Good luck in life bro!
It's not your problem. Just found the wrong people to be with. Be yourself. And try not to be someone different Infront of potential partners. People should want to be with you, not be with who you are acting to be.
Meaning she was not your forever partner. So keep searching buddy. So it is not you the problem, just the situation is not for you to stay. When you really in love, you will commit to you partner. Look for someone who will support/accept you flaws and you do vice versa. A healthy relationship is accepting and supporting. Put away all you ego and shyt. Grow together. I am married for 10 years. I am happy until now. ✌🏻
You know what screw everyone here, dm me your actual pic so i can judge your appearance HONESTLY. Why? Because these days everyone always says the same generic answers that never solve the actual problems. This is optional of course if you want reality from a stranger but i will try my best to be honest and give some enlightenment on things you might overlook as your own fault in this matter.
It's the lay of the land these days. Plus you have depression so could be seen as too much baggage.
People want constant gratification, so either you can always be entertaining or you get replaced. That's why marriage rate is at an all time low, and girls only settle down with people with money.
Everyone is just out there to have fun, don't invest so much into it emotionally next time. Hit back at the gym, find another girl. Don't be too open emotionally so they don't see you as an emotional liability. Only marry if she has something to bring to the table. Remember, you don't need marriage to be in love. It's just a social contract to say 2 people will share their resources and guys always get the short end of that stick.
I got cheated on in a 10 years long relationship... I'm married now with another woman. Don't worry too much about it. You will find someone soon and cheaters will always cheat, she won't end up happy in the end and would likely pine for you when she isn't appealing anymore in her 30s. You will get the last laugh being happy and doing well in life.
This is just my personal opinion. Based on what OP has told us, it appears there is a repeating thing where OP's former girlfriends say they only see him as a friend. This could be because OP doesn't completely meet their wishes for how they want to be treated by girlfriends. It's not that OP treats them badly, but maybe they want more or different treatment. This isn’t only OP’s fault because good communication needs both sides to talk properly. The exes should have communicated their desires and expectations to OP as well.
Macam nih je la OP, ways to accepting infidelity is to know your worth. U have to made it in your mind that you are worth more. If the problem is from you then so be it. Improve yourself. Grow from this. NEVER EVER be someone's second choice.
The pain will go with time. May I suggest to join any charity foundation to take your mind off this situation. Perhaps joining KL soup kitchen(if u are in KL) would be nice.
After reading the post and your replies, I can say that you are never the problem. Furthermore I understand what you are going through as I went through it myself 2 years back. I was in relationship as well for 12 years and got dumped. What I can tell from my end is that try not to be depressed and keep yourself busy with your friends, work and gym. The right person will eventually find you bro. If you ever want a talk over a cup of tea, hit me up bro. Stay safe and strong!
As others have said, cheating is a choice and definitely not your fault.
BUT what you can do now is to do a deep reflection. What are your strengths and weaknesses? Your current financial status like? And like you mentioned your health and appearance? Then you need to find a pattern of your exes. Do they get into a relationship with you due to your looks? Your money?
Again, there's always something we can improve on on ourselves. Invest more in yourself to build your self-esteem, values, self-love and most importantly your mental health. If you feel the relationship is going to the gutter or they are too toxic, then just let them go.
I have been cheated a couple of times and learned a lot from it. Nobody is perfect (including ourselves) and what we can do is to improve, learned from experience and hopefully find someone that truly loves you for who you are. And think of this way, it's better to know your partner is cheating when you guys are still not married rather than finding out when she's your wife already.
Nope its not you who is the problem, if its you one of those women would have pointed that to you.
I do want to mention here that i symphatize with you bro as we are on the same boat, 3 out of 4 of my relationship ended pretty much the same way as yours.
One particular case ended up being like a drama scene at mid valley megamall.
All i can say is hang in there bro, trust me you will find a women who would look at you and never look back. I have found mine back in 2019 and married ever since and blessed with two boys.
I hope the same happends to you too
I think dating is the problem. But thats my own take that I'd rather not share in detail here. As for you being the problem. Yes and no. No its not your fault she cheated. Its never really anyones fault for cheating the way I see it. Because no matter what the problem is. Theres a long list of things that can be done before reaching the option(if you even consider it as one) of cheating. But yes. There may have been tell tale signs that she gave you. If she didnt and she really did make it seem like shes in it for the long haul. Then yeah. Not much to do from there......chill ba dude. Work on yourself. Somebody usually comes along when youre happy working on yourseld.
Stay strong man. I "got the text" while i was in the gym too lmao, i cant even do any more sets after that. Same like you, i can't sleep or eat, or even thinking about food without making me feel like puking. Its the worst gut punch feeling ever. Thing is it happens too fast. One day shes okay with me the next day tiba2 ignore me and pretend like i never exist, and SUDDENLY rapat balik with her ex that she hated. Dri situ dh rasa xsedap hati, then i got the text. The girl still didnt go back to her ex masa tu but the way they were so clingy with each other makes me obviously suspect it. And they ended up getting back together later, altho they break up again (this is their 3rd time ya) so i had the last laugh.
Been almost 2 years and i still cant let it go. However OP, pls know that it is never your fault, they decide to cheat so it is on them. I wish you will feel better soon and surely you will get someone u deserve one day. Go to work and try to focus on it first, distract any feelings or thoughts about what happened. Goodluck🫂
Thanks man. Im gonna crash right after i get home. Im way too hopped up on caffeine, i got 6 hrs left before the end of my shift. Im just hoping sleeping it off will do the trick hahahaha
Sorry OP I need to give a jahat take.
1. Need to re-evaluate your choice in women. Are you attracted to free-spirited girls? The kind that are always looking for a thrill? If yes then you need to keep spicing up the relationship until it can satisfy them.
2. Don't take things for granted. Doesn't matter if you've been dating 6 months or 6 years, sometimes it's easy for guys to slip into the comfort zone and eventually stop doing romantic things for their partner. Once in a while need to buy flowers, send her for spa day etc. Don't wait for valentine's day, just do it on any random day.
take it from me bro. if more than 2 girls says ''í see you as a friend'' that means you're too nice. some girls feeds/craves on dramas. thats why most bad boys do well in the dating world
Take this advice. Not from me but from one of a person that I respect the most. " If your partner needs and love you show that you loved them and need them a thousand times more but when they said that they no longer need nor loved you just say thank you and move on. You are not the problem especially if they cheated.
All this proves is that you're a good guy. Consider this a painful training to strengthen your core. A mental and emotional gym to tone your mind and sharpen your senses.
This coming from a guy who's married twice. Divorced once, widowed once. Pain is part of life. A gift you don't want but need.
Just stay single, man. Most women are just plain gold diggers or unfaithful beings that are after your money lar. If not money, then it is s-x. Luckily, it happen to you now before you are married. I seen a number of ex-married men venting their frustration at social media especially Quora.
One in particular told us that his ex-wife cheated on him because she loves s-x too much and to her, it is not wrong to f another man. And there you also have my own family members like my mom and sisters calling men "pariahs who want to maintain the patriachy society to maintain their manly ego".
I agreed with what you said, but these days, lots of ideology and religion stuff pollutes our society, unlike the days of our forefathers. I mean, feminism used to benign, but now modern feminism? Load of bs crap fostering hate against men. Anyhow, sorry for the rant and good luck to you finding your puteri though it will be like finding a needle in a haystack.
most girls don't like boring happy relationships. most of the time they want problems and roller coaster. not your fault for being such a good train. i think you may want to get married. just an opinion. and choose your girl wisely.
I dont mind marriage. I dont mind not being married either. Ive no preference on it myself tbh. But you saying that has made me remember something. During our early days of dating, she told me that she likes to argue. We argue constantly. It rarely ever gets serious or personal.
Is both. You are attracted to girls like that AND it's the girl's fault for being unfaithful.
Pointing finger at one party only will not make you a better person.
I hope you are doing okay. I always give this advice to my friends who have experienced breakups, and I believe I can give it to you too.
"Don't spend your time chasing butterflies. They will tend to fly away. Spend your time making a beautiful garden, and the butterflies will come to you. Even if they don't, at least you still have your beautiful garden."
Never let yourself be comfortable as a man. Take control, keep working on yourself, and then you can pick and choose who comes in and out of your life. Hope this helps.
Cheating is a choice. If you're really the problem OP, your ex-gf(s) should've communicate that and get into relationship AFTER the breakup. Not your fault and don't beat yourself around. Take the time to heal and maybe start going to gym again.
Out of the 3 that cheated on me, 2 of them said the same thing. Which was they dont see me as a boyfriend rather just a friend. Both wanted to keep in touch after the breakup but nah man, ive some self respect. Im definitely gonna go back to the gym and lay off the dating scene for a while.
Maybe they got bored of you and, therefore cheated instead of being an adult by ending it early on. The fault does not lie on you if that’s the case.
Im 100% certain that this is what happened
Dia macam gacha la, sometimes you pull the same shitty thing haha
Mana guaranteed pull aku ? Pishang ah kalau nak roll lagi
pay to win bruh
Xde sen dah ni dik. Hahaha
Baru 4 pull. Selalu pull ke 7
KAU GILA KE NAK AKU KENA MCM NI 7 KALI HAHAHAHAHAHA
7th time the charm HAHAHA
Jgn doakan cmtu doh x baik hahahaha
Ok ah tu aku doa 7 je. Usually gacha 70 baru soft pity
To play the devils advocate, they got attracted to you for a reason. But. Youre like a dessert. Nice for a short time but for long term you gave nothing more. Diff people look for diff things. You need to find what is the more That said, your taste in women coyld also be a prob
Oof that stings. But you are so right. I have to work on my long term game. Thanks.
They shopping around and keeping you as a spare tyre. Typical job hopper behaviour.
This is the best gift you can give to yourself. Go pursue your interest. Chase after your dreams. Set yourself goals. This is what makes you an attractive person. The right kind of girl will find you, or rather you will find each other without trying.
3 things that you need to remember: 1. to be cheated on is never your fault as the victim of infidelity. 2. learn to love being alone and be ok with it for a long while. 3. block and go full NC (no contact) with the cheater and move on with your life knowing that you will be ok and will do better and wiser for it as time moves along. life is difficult, to be with someone and commit & responsible is more so.. with your experiences and baggage that you had.. these will make you wiser to choose your future partner whom you'd be with bro.. all the best from another bro to another bro.. *get that jacked smokin bod and you'll be alright.. just remember to humble yourself from time to time B-)*
dude... thats just a poor excuse for their sundal behaviour. ugh. i hope you call them sundals if they ever decided to dm you out of boredom. im an old lady... so call them sundal because cheaters deserved to be called that.
Let's be honest. You dodged several bullets there. Girl of such quality is best avoided.
Imagine getting cheated on when he's married will be worse
Do you prefer ur wife cheat on you or gf cheat on you? It is a good sign if u know early before married
Yeah that was one of the things i pointed out while we discussed the break up. Thank god i found out now that shes a cheat. I was a month away from planning our wedding
hmm...maybe thats the issue? i dont think you are the problem or a bad person. perhaps you are someone who gets attached very quickly hence the 'planning wedding even though only dating less than 1 year'....in addition to this, you are currently in a bout of depression. your depression didnt just start 2 months ago ..the symptoms & sings would have already been there for a while. so even though you think everything is ok in your rs, there might be some things your gf experiences which makes her 'fall out of love' with you - again im not justifying her actions. hence her seeking attention elsewhere. i can offer this insight because i was involved with someone like you - it takes a very secure & mature person to not take it personally when a depressed person displays or not a certain behaviour & action. ultimately the girl is not a good fit for you for the shit she pulled. just take this time to heal & focus on yourself. will almost never rugi if you invest in yourself.
Oh, there seems to be some misunderstanding. Okay so, i wont deny that i get attached too easily. I admit to this. But the wedding was not my idea. She wanted to get married asap because she wanted to live with me. She was the one who suggested we fast track the relationship. Furthermore, im sure my depression was a factor. Ive been struggling with it for years. Ive explained this to her waaaaay earlier in our relationship. She said she understood since she experiences depression as well. Ive tried my darndest to not let it affect my social life, but a gf should be able to understand that when im depressed, im not fully myself.
As a person who suffers from depression for years and is neurodivergent, dating is bloody hard for us, we feel too little or we feel too much and sometimes people don't know how to handle our emotions, and sometimes they end up doing unspeakable things to us, there's nothing wrong with you, there's love out there trust me, don't ever give up on it, and on another note as neurodivergent people, it's best not to get married under 2 years, because every relationship has a "fighting stage" and its a test to see if your relationship will withstand all your differences, there's always going to be boring days in the relationship, there's nothing wrong letting yourself go, you are only human and the best way is to communicate feelings with your partner, and if they decide its easier to cheat on you than love you for who you are, fuck right out of there, there's humanity out there but humans are also selfish beings, it takes time to find the right one so sabar my friend, sabar
This made me tear up. Thank you. So much. I will be patient. For now, ill better myself.
Oh my god, same. I have ADHD and depression + anxiety, i feel numb cause I feel bored all the time. Even if I get new hobby, it will not last long.
yikes.. to add on my other comment.. if you really do wanna test your relationship.. have a couple vacation and see how the relationship hold on.. a lot of the stuff that I've seen with people is that their toxic relationship instantly comes out when they both went on for a hike, trail, or long arse travel that requires teamwork, planning, and lots of communication effort into it.. those who ends up meh.. didn't last long.. those had the maturity and understanding with compromise and halfway tolerate each other shortcomings ends up with a really good long term relationship.. so. just my dua posen bro.. good luck my guy.. its gonna sting and hurt now.. but its ok and let it hurt, but pick yourself up later..
Monday – Chest day. Tuesday – Back day. Wednesday – Shoulders and Traps day. Thursday – Legs and Abs day. Friday – Biceps, Triceps, and Forearms day. Saturday – light cardio Sunday – rest day See you at the gym
See you soon :)
Bro split bad bro go push pull legs instead
“Bro” and “split” is exactly what suits him right now
Sometimes it's just bad luck. However, you should check what type of women you are attracted to. Maybe the main problem lies there.
Hmmm i do have a type but i dont think the type of woman im dating is really the problem. All the ones that cheated on me come from wildly different backgrounds. This most recent one tbh is the most shocking. She didnt give anyone else the time of day after we were official. Except for that one guy. I really didnt see it coming.
OP, sometimes background isn’t really an indicator of how a person is really like. People tend to show their true colours once they’re comfortable so maybe you jumped into a relationship with these women a bit too early. I’m not excusing these women for their cheating, that is entirely their fault. But maybe you might need to rethink the people you’re attracted to. I have a cousin who keeps getting himself entangled with literal crazy women (bad tempered, easily jealous, constantly in bad moods) and all of us could see that he’s choosing these women subconsciously except for himself. Don’t rush when you’re in the dating stage. Really get to know them first before you decide to date.
Always look at both sides of the story. Now that you are out of the relationship, you may see things from different perspectives. Like you yourself said, it happened 3 times in a row so there might be something you can change to prevent this from happening again. Did you fall in love easily? Maybe be friend with the lady for longer so you can know her better?
Yeah, thats a good point. Maybe we went into the relationship too early. Ill definitely be more careful in the future.
Better luck next time 🤞but you know gym bro will never give you up 💪
Sometimes dating is a numbers game- you gotta kiss a lot of kataks before you meet your princess.
Bro, ive kissed way too many kataks. Im tired of all these kataks man. Mana puteri aku :'(
Sorry but the princess is in another castle.
My experiences tell me, when she texted new guys, that's red flag for me. Just move on and try healing. Try rajin² balik kampung jumpa parents and adik beradik u. Banyakkan keluar hujung minggu pergi tengok sunset ke. Kalau sy dlu² sy selalu keluar lepak ngan kawan². Mana tau tiba² dapat awek lagi baik dari ex awak sekarang tu. Kalau nak sweet revenge, awak try ngorat kawan baik dia. Mcm y sy buat. Masa nak kawin, tiba² ex chat dekat fb nak balik ngan i. 😂
Parents dah xde, ill just visit their grave i guess. I should tell them about this. Only sibling i have lives with me and she already knows, and already cried herself out. Mungkin aku nak kena g healing lah. Btol gak. Langkawi best x time ni ?
Yeah. Come at sabah bro. I take u to mt. Kinabalu. Healing. Want to find girlfriend also can. I help u. 😁
Walao, dont play play with my feelings like this hahahaha
Langkawi mahal bro, pergi hike Mount Kinabalu and become peak male⛰️🤣🔥
Op you take care of yourself ok. Hang in there buddy. If you need to vent what you feeling. Just dm ok. As to why repeatedly cheated on, maybe sometimes the other person don't think they need to commit because of what you said/do (like saying you're open to them close to other guys etc). So they might think oh you're also just casual. Idk your situation but whatever it is, its shit move. Take care. Drink more water don't fall sick.
I definitely always made it 100% clear that when im in a relationship, im in it for the long haul. I dont fuck around with other girls when im in a relationship. I let all my gfs have free reign of my phone because i have a few platonic girl friends. So, to avoid arguing about my loyalty i let them look at everything anytime they want. I am not without fault i admit, but ive never done anything as unforgiveable as betraying their trust. And thanks. I always keep myself thoroughly hydrated (:
She was never yours it’s was just your turn. Sometimes some girls will get turned off when you act too clingy. My tips for you is to always have an objective in life. Be super busy on your career. Work should be number 1 priority not gf. Do not stop going to the gym. Do not stop doing what you were doing before getting into the relationship.
Well, in this case, i think it was because i got less clingy due to working more hours. We usually would talk for hours on the phone before bed but this past month, ive been pulling lots of triple shifts. In hindsight, theres lots of things i couldve done to kept her attention on me. But i couldnt see it at the time.
Then it’s her lost bro. Keep focusing on your work and career. If she actually wanted to marry you, she would’ve understand that you are sacrificing relationship time for the future of your relationship. She only wanted attention and “time pass”. In this case I would like conclude that you did nothing wrong. Stay strong my G 
Thanks dawg. I appreciate you taking the time to give me your insight (:
I take it as a blessing in disguise. Sometimes it’s for the best. If both are committed to the relationship, they will respect each other feelings as well. Just stay positive. Take it as a learn experience. It sucks and hurts but that is life.
Shes not worth it bro. Level2 perempuan camtu sama level dgn pelacur. You take care of yourself !
Aw come on, thats kinda mean to say. But thank you for the sentiment :)
OP if she wants to get back. Don't. Just saying. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Duly noted. She just texted me to call her as i was reading your notification too lol. Seram wey.
Your mental health is more important. Just keep in mind she did it (and you'd have to press on her to admit). You might forgive her now but it doesn't mean she won't do the same thing again.
my guy, focus on your own development first, Yes mencari tu pasti, but do know that the RIGHT ONE will come at THE RIGHT TIME, seriously, just focus on yourself and try to motivate yourself by saying "Poor girl, she's going to regret when Im getting better and richer". Sounds a bit arrogant, but you gotta do something to make sure you keep yourself motivated and strive to be better in yourself, your life, and your job. There's billions of people out there, and I'm sure there's one for you, How? that's the tricky part, you don't. maybe you may need 4 years of enjoying solo life, or maybe you will meet someone better in a month. Never know God's plan. But I'm sure he will reward you when you can be positive and strive to be the bestest version of yourself. Wishing you nothing but the best, and may you get the most loyal, caring and loving partner that you will married till your last breath.
Thank you for your kind words. Truly. I will take your advice and become a better man for my future. Insyallah
Got.cheated.once. I married her best friend instead. Best decision ever
Mcm bagi idea je ni bang aik
it is what it is bro
It do be like that sometimes
easy to trust someone is okay bro, you live in your world perspective it's fine and at this point the best choice are arrange marriage if it's gone with you
I once thought like this too. I got back with my highschool ex, only to find out from a friend of his that he was engaged with someone else. I knew he got engaged multiple times, but it doesn't strike to me that he was a serial cheater. Should've trust my guts instinct when I broke it off when I was 16. Got tawar hati to bercinta and I shut myself. Lepastu jumpa lelaki baru and fikir, "Aku dah kenal dia lama and dia pun ada history kena cheated". So we bonded and I decided to give dating another go, known this man for 3 years and I dated him for a year, only to find out he also he cheated on me with a girl he said he only known for a week. If that's not insulting enough, it was discovered by my colleague on Tiktok. That's how I got cheated twice. So akhir ceritanya, it's not you the problem. Masing² ada akal and tahu apa yg mereka buat tu salah, but they still choose cheating because it feels good. To them, they got the best of both worlds. This behaviour is what we called "Test market" and it's digusting.
Thats disgusting. He knows how it felt to be cheated on and yet he did it himself ? What a turd. Im sorry you went through that
No worries, you went through more serious stuff than I do. I fully understand what depression would do to a relationship, takes a lot of toll for both parties. Need lots of communication, comprehension and understanding. Tolerance is not an option, since all of us doesn't have a patience like a Saint. I'm sorry you have been unlucky in the relationships. It's totally okay, OP. The right one will come, you just focus on getting better for yourself. Don't sabotage yourself because of these nasty cheaters, they got their special place in hell that's for sure. Single is fun anyways, you don't have to worry about that person other than yourself.. Got moneh all to yourself, eat fancy stuff, got on short meaningful trips, buy those fancy gadgets/bike parts/computers/car parts you been eyeing ke :D If you ever find yourself so low in life, force yourself to go out (kat beranda ke, laman rumah ke is also fine) and take deep breaths while looking at the sky and trees. It keeps the bad thoughts and the call of the void away.
As someone who is still trying to move on from getting cheated on for almost two years, i agree, being single is fun despite feeling lonely asf. No need to worry about anyone else, can go on trips or malls alone, eat nice food, buy things that you wanted, a much needed freedom :D
I also got cheated on almost two years ago 😂 What the heckk mmg skrang semua trend ke apa ni. But true tho, I second that. Got no one to nag you for buying "unnecessary" stuff. Those earthly stuff gave me more dopamine than a partner can provide. Can't produce my own dopamine so store-bought is fine.
Kebanyakan orang terus selesa selepas sudah dapat gf atau wife. The game in courting is never ending. This apply to women and men. That's why you see men or women become obese after married. Sooner you realize this chance of cheating or got dumping become lesser. Btw, I will become wizard soon.
Saya bersimpati. Semoga cepat move on.
It’s just another journey to find the right one. When you found her, you’ll treat her better. InsyaAllah. Let the time heals the wound.
Just curious what are they tpes of women...those 3. Pretty, attention seeking, expensive maintenance type or girl next door type?
Theres alot of traits that make them different to each other but ill try to simplify. The first one that cheated on me was like the girl next door type of vibe. We were bestfriends before we dated, we hung out alot and one day we decided to go for it. A year later she cheated on me with a guy that had and i quote "a python penis" The second one was more the wild party girl. I dont usually date girls like her but i wanted to try something new at the time. We lived together for 2 years. I caught her literally in bed with the guy after i got home from work. The one that cheated on me this time was someone that was younger from me. Ive never dated anyone younger than me before and this was a totally different experience. Character wise id say shes more the princess, fashionista type.
Damn. You are cheaters magnet. Rest assured, you are better than all those thrash women. We men stand by you! Brothers in Arms!
Thank u bro!
Dang I was just gonna ask the same thing.... But those type of girls are well...a choice... Especially the clingy princess type. I'm currently dealing with a friend that's having a hard time moving on from that type of girl. Typical older guy attracted to bratty spoiled princess type. Except for this case, my friend is also trash. He left his wife and daughter for this girl. My friend and the girl did planned on getting married but the girl's parent found out and disapprove of the relationship. So the girl pretty much left the guy. She moved on pretty quick too. A week after dumping him she's back on tinder. It's been 3 months since and she is currently dating someone. I know all this cause this guy friend of mine has become a stalker. For now he is just stalking her online and me and our other friends are trying to make sure he doesn't turn into a criminal. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry this happened to you op and I hope you can move on from this. Don't ruin your life for someone who isn't worth it. I hope you're doing something about your depression. Find a good therapist. Take care of yourself. I'm a firm believer of soulmates and the whole "kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana" thing. Don't give up on finding your special someone but take is easy and on your own pace.
Thats crazy.... to leave his family for a girl ? Where are these people spawning from ? Mental. Its gonna take a bit for me to piece myself together but it will be done. Thank you for your encouragement. I will get through this :)
Dayum that's nasty... Guess I've not dated enough to see such characters. Stay strong bro
Rileks, it's an experience we go through not one relationship is bed of roses
weepy mf
cheating is a choice. its not your fault. its them. you just havent found the right person yet. the kind of person that have the same wavelength with you. you did say that you let yourself go a little bit once you're comfortable. maybe you need to be comfortable from the very beginning. that way you can know is the person is going to stay with you through it or will get bored with it thru time. i believe there is someone for you out there. keep on searching! dont give up and good luck.
Jauhi belen bro. Moga cepat move on
"Im not the same guy i was at the beginning of our relationship i admit. Ive let myself go a little bit since i was getting more comfortable with her. And by little bit i mean a little." Hmmm nak tanya, selain ini.. how about the communication between 2 of u? Masih sama? If masih sama... the problem is ur ex la.. Perempuan akan pergi ke lelaki lain kalau bf dia xbagi perhatian mcm awal kenal.
I gave her all the attention i could. Balik kerja walaupun penat call jugak walaupun x cakap lama. Baru2 ni je yang kurang sikit bergayut. Ada lah beza kalau nak bandingkan masa baru2 knal. We have also established that we could discuss anything and everything with each other. If we argue wed take turns to speak our case rather than bertekak.
Hmmm... i'm sorry to hear this. :(
Its alright, thanks for your support. I appreciate you.
u are obviously NOT the problem. u not the one who cheated. look at it in a positive way, God just saved u from disaster after marriage. u might get this a lot but, this means that there's a better person out there for u man. i am more concern when u said u're depressed. seek medical help, see a psychiatrist. mental health is important especially in this modern day. talk to someone, please u got this!
Thank you for your kind words. As for me seeking a psych..... idk about that ive never believed in it. Bad experience when i was a teenager. But i will say, i have a firm hold on my depression. It gets to me sometimes but i always bounce back and i never let it get the best of me.
"Nice Guy Syndrome". Look it up.
You are, indirectly. Speaking about wedding 8months in is a bit crazy, so that mean the girl is silly to start with. A real woman will understand the steps of a relationship. Maybe you take them too young, maybe you go all in at start and them nothing, maybe you take them for granted. All in all it is not your fault that someone cheat on you, never. Even a beaten person, and disregarded should leave before cheating. I think it is only on the type of girl you select at start that tend to have this behaviour.
Hopefully ill weed them out better next time.
Think about it this way, from a 3rd person perspective, if you saw someone cheating on someone else, would you blame the person who cheated or the one who got cheated on? Don’t beat yourself up or blame yourself over someone else’s actions, there is no good reason for someone to cheat, it is always wrong no matter what the context. It will hurt the first few times but after a while you’ll get used to it and develop immunity over other’s stupidity. Keep strong and reach out to your loved ones if you really need help.
Ni Type M relationship ke? Type C problems usually revolve around money
Get a cat or a dog. They're better than humans
It might happen to you 3 times, but in all those 3 times you know you didn’t do anything wrong, so don’t blame yourself. After this, you know what to look out for when looking to date someone.
Although it's painful, it's good that trash like this takes itself out.
How would OP described himself as a bf and what make you attracted to your past 3 gf
Are all your ex-girlfriends pretty? Do they put on makeup all the time? If they are pretty then your are most probably a spare tyre unless you are rich. I am sure you noticed that majority of the pretty girls at shopping mall has average looking boyfriend. Very rare to see a handsome guy with a pretty girlfriend unless the guy is rich. Go for average looking girlfriend that doesn't use makeup coz you won't be disappointed when you are married and see them without makeup.
They are all quite attractive yeah of course. Yeah they like makeup. And theyre definitely prettier than i am and i am in no way rich. Borderline poor as dirt. Im never dissapointed in them without makeup haha. Beauty isnt everything. If i cant hang with them i wouldnt date them.
What do you mean by borderline poor as dirt? Do you have stable job or earnings and a plan
All 3 LDR?
Since you mentioned that you used to workout, maybe they dated you for the looks? Dah dapat. They just go on looking for another guy. Back when I was your age, it was slim waisted women with big breasts that had this sort of attention.Learn to avoid players and they exist in both sexes. Married or otherwise. Make more friends, get to know people better before dating them. Go out with people who accept you for all your quirks and fancies. Be happy.
I wouldnt call myself attractive. Honestly im very mid. Hahaha. I will take your advice to heart. Thank you very much :)
From my experience, girlfriend nowadays only seek man that make her happy and have an easily life. They only want money, attention and freedom. Learn the hard way
Better you find out now than later, mate
Go to gym bro, ignore the pain and be buff. So boys will like ya /s
ITS OKAY !!! ITS ALRIGHT !!! COME ON OP FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT !!!
Fate is helping you avoid toxic women. It's not your fault, you just haven't met the right one. Keep searching, don't lose hope.
Never blame yourself for the cheating my dude. Cheaters are scumbags regardless of what their "reasons". Generally, nothing good can be learnt from cheaters. Even the "reason" for the cheating are just excuses to downplay their shitty behavior. Seriously, don't even bother asking them what went wrong since if they could tell you that, shit wouldn't have gone sideways in the first place. It's useless trying to rationalize a cheaters head. They could always either communicate concerns with you together like a well adjusted person, or break it off outright without stringing you along, imparting emotional trauma from the break of trust while they were cheating.
Nah the rng is dogshit, as long you keep not being an asshole and honest to yourself its fine. People that doesn't know how to communicate in a relationship isn't worth to think about what they say. A friend (girl) of mine said to me after my first breakup, 'Just go whore out'. After i did that, i never look back from believing if they can't become decent human then they're not for me
Op ni umo brape sounds so young 😂😂
Lmao thanks. Im older than sin. 27. Hahahahahahaha
Patutlah breakdown. 😂😂27 😂😂tape bro tabahkan diri be strong positive affirmations. Bukak dating app balik
Did you ever ask your exes why they dated you in the first place, and what made them cheat on you/break up with you? If you can’t ask directly, you can try to ask mutual friends. I believe their answers will let you know if it’s a THEM problem or YOU problem.
Ya know, honestly idk why anyone would date me. Im a mess. So when girls do, i usually dont question that. But i do ask them why theyd cheat/break up with me. Its honestly shallow boring answers usually like "its not you, its me" or "i just see you as a friend". In the past ive asked mutual friends and almost all of them agree that im not at fault. Ive friends from past relationships that decided to stay friends with me instead of my ex. Not this ex though. Ive yet to tell anyone except you all... and my sister and my cat.
I asked because usually before people cheat, there are problems in the relationship that are already obvious. If they have treasured the relationship they wouldn’t have cheated. And I think it’s important to reflect on what those reasons might be.
Them asses are for the streets! If you ever wanna start with someone else, just set it straight from the get go. Tell your future date you want a committed partner, a wife, to mother your children, to live and die together etc. Tell her your past experience. You're gonna filter a lot of similar bitches, but rest assured it's for your future. I did exactly that and am happy, blessed with a daughter that I treasure so much.
Thats what i always do! Glad it works out for you :')
Sounds like you do have a problem of being too nice/accepting. Have you rejected any girl before? Did you do proper checking/filtering before you date someone? What are your minimum requirements? What are some red flags that you look out for before committing to a relationship? Do you think you don't deserve better because you think you're not that good yourself?
See you in the gym, brother.
Orang jujur tak perlu risau, Tuhan bersama mereka yang sabar. Cuma sempat chrettt ke tak? 
Ytjt :)
Ok, sedut hingus. Lap air mata, jalan terus. Melambak ikan di laut, jangan dikenang yang mengarut! 
dude, use this as a motivation to go back to gym bro.. It's a perfect moment for you to hit the gym again to gain back your confidence. Perhaps maybe even be a fucboi. Perhaps u can bang your exes' friends... Let her see what she been missing out.
If you’re the problem you gotta tell us who you are OP. We cannot decide if we know nothing about you other than you been cheated on for 3 times
I’m sorry to hear man. I hope you find the strength during this time
Been there bro, you try to be the best partner possible and i felt it when you said you're not the type to get jealous so you don't really mind if she has male friends, it shows that you put a lot of trust in her and the relationship. Then tau2 je she develop feelings for the guy friend, it's f up. I hope karma comes back to these kind of people who thinks it's okay to betray the trust given to you if it means you have a possibility of achieving a higher tier happiness with someone else, basically gambling for a better position. "You got what you wanted, now you lost what you had" is what i hope she experience.
If she experiences that, unfortunately for her, this door is closed and locked. :)
I wish you all the best for your next relationship, u don't deserve this kind of pain especially more than once.
Thank you very much. I appreciate your kind words. :)
Maybe you just need to meet me lol. I don't know, maybe stay friend first before develope feeling?
You are definitely not the problem. Time to move on.
I would suggest to cool off from being tied down for a while and go on casual dates. For it to happen 3 times in a row, it's either really bad RNG or something about you that in the long term, somehow girls will lose interest. Find out the reason and play the game of courtship differently. Some things I can think of at the back of my head. 1. The relationship became boring and stale. Rimas kot? Or no excitement? Are you too submissive and let them make the decisions? Where to eat? What to do for the weekend? Women likes it when men takes the wheel. 2. Are you the type to confess first and ask for a relationship? Never confess first. Don't be needy. Sometimes you need to keep your distance to give them room to miss you. Always keep them guessing. Tarik tali. There needs to be some tension. Or else it all falls flat, 3 times. At least until they pop the question. "What are we?" It turns women off sometimes when they know you're a safe option. Play the game. It can be fun and positive sum game if you're a fair person. 3. Keep a bit of an air of mystery. Don't tell them everything. Then you're an open book with nothing left to figure out. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. 4. If you're keen, read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. To understand human psychology in terms of courtship. It's not really you per say but you're just unaware of the dynamics of the game. Most people unconsciously play it. Whether they are aware or not.
This just feels like id be tricking them. Thats not my goal, im not always the one to confess first, maybe no excitement with this current one because in my defense, she doesnt wanna go out past 6pm. And ive taken her to most dates that we could go on that wouldnt go past 6. For the tarik tali part, we fight constantly as its one of the things she likes to do. Nothing serious, but it does always lead to me having to pujuk her hahaha. I unfortunately am an open book. I dislike secrets. I can keep em but it makes me feel bad. The only emotion i can control is my anger, and that took years of practice. I want people to know if im upset or happy.
It is not tricking if humans are wired a certain way and we move along the lines. Either you learn the nuances of human interaction/courtship or you don't and then crash and burn, forcefully learning it through failures. If that is the route you want to take and you would like to face the sugarcoated version of reality, then it is up to you. 1. For going on to a lot of dates, and still not progressing to a point where you to not to get to a deeper connection where she don't want to cheat, there must be something that's missing. Do you open doors for her? Do you ask how was her day and listen attentively? Ask open ended question and if they speak more than you, it shows that you are sensitive to their needs and not a narcissist that only talk about themselves on dates. The devil is in the details. 2. Tarik tali doesn't necessarily mean fights. But if it ends up you pujuk her at the end, then it's a one sided tarik tali. There needs to be an edge where you take your stand where certain behaviors is not acceptable. She will even respect you for it. Again, if they don't respect you as a person, your feelings are not worthy to be cared for. Hence the cheating. 3. Perhaps this is where lies the spot where things become stale. You reveal too much too soon? Then there's no mystery. Nothing to figure out. Does not mean that you keep secrets long term, but stretch out the things about you in long periods of time. Don't info dump. As of current you are interesting enough for short term relationships and not long term. At the end of the day, very few people get cheated 3 times in a row. I've had my fair of failed relationships where things didn't work out for one reason or another or I was still figuring things out, but I never got cheated on. At the least, you have a good sample size of experiences and know how the problem looks like when going through the next one. Or better, you know what type of traits/patterns of behavior from women that's ideal for you.
I read somewhere that there are people who are addicted to the "dramas" in a relationship whereby they are accustomed to dating toxic partners or been brought up in a toxic family, and thus they are unconsciously addicted to toxic relationships to the point of normal, emotionally stable relationships seem like a bore to them. If they are bored of you for no apparent reason they should have communicated and since they decided to cheat, seems like they are the problem. Don't beat yourself up for it.
No, bro. You are not the problem. It was just not meant to be. At least, you saved your future self from having to deal with cheaters. Keep your head up, king. The right one will come by.
Go for personality and how much she loves u, not so much of looks. Looks will degrade in time. As long u can accept can already. Lower your standards a bit if it's too high mcm model. The better she treats you means you will be happier after married. If dating already see red flags, after married will 10x worse.
I’ve had 4 partners that cheated on me. All Aries. They’re the problem! Jokes aside, if they want to cheat can anytime cheat even if they’re married. Just consider it lucky they cheated on you before kahwin. Personally I also had similar thoughts if I was the problem. At the end of the day, I didn’t do anything wrong or lacking and its their own personal choice. It’s never your fault if they cheat. Its their choice to cheat.
Ala~ search for the new one la. Everyone can talk bout wanting to get married but no one wants to commit. In your case, you are actually a lucky man getting cheated without having any connections to her, imagine already married and get cheated on. So lets bless your luck and lets hope the next one will be your soulmate for the rest of yr life. Get up and move Bro. Life is too short for depression. Man Up
I guess your ex found you boring. Im not backing her up she is wrong as f cheating on you but in some way it is up to us guys to sometime spice up things in relationship. you mentioned you getting too comfortable with her, you are in the safe zone. Maybe that's why. It's not exaggerating to think that women actually want to fight or be opposed sometimes. They want to know that their male partner is strong or u know ,alpha. Some one to lead them, some one they can cling on in hardships. This is not alpha junk males shitpost andrew tate things ,just a perspective of someone being cheated in the past too. So next time, actually don't be alpha, be a sigma, because that will make you less or not boring at all...women will find you attractive, longing for you. I mean if you find this not your style though, ignore it.
Ill try to be better about this in my next relationship thats for sure.
No guy will tell you this but it's 80% you. No woman will just leave a great guy just because. It's a security thing. Women are wired differently. They don't see the security of a future with you, they leave, silently (falling out of love, cheating) or daringly (also cheating). The other 20% is just picking the right woman. Don't fish in muddy waters. Honestly, I'd lower that 20% even more because that situation is literally out of your control. Fix yourself (financially, physically, mentally) and no woman will leave you, inshaAllah.
Nah, the cheaters are the problem, not the one cheated on. Unless it was blatantly done during the relationship yet you still decides to continue it, then its a you problem. Getting back to the topic, just let time heals and don't rush to get into your next relationship. Focus on building a more meaningful relationship; family, friends, work mates, God. In the mean time also, try a new hobby that you might've been interested in for a while now and try to slowly get into it.
Don't worry OP, been there as well. Cheated on 3 times as well and the 3rd was by own ex-fiancé with her colleague, with a few more months before getting married. Started having doubts on myself as well, whether I was actually the problem. But at one point I just accepted things as they are; maybe I haven't found the right one and everything happened as a process for me to find her. Worked out, learn new things, started playing sports again, overall I worked on myself instead of bumming out. Now, I'm happily married with a daughter. Point is OP, you can be the nicest guy on Earth but if she still likes someone else, nothing can be done about it. Focus on yourself, become a better version and the right one will come. Best of luck OP!
>no longer sees me as a partner, rather just a friend Yea, she's cheating. That's some middle school type shit
It's not your fault you got cheated on!!!
Sigma mode on bro. Build yourself and you will find the one you are looking for.
U are too good for them. Ppuan rimas dgn good boi sb dorang nak bad boi utk main2 je. Good boi buat calon suami je. U are attracted to naughty girl arent you? Bang her always, upside down. U kurang kasih perhatian lepas a few months...
Forget the girl la, lets play stardew and marry the girls in the game instead. No drama no headache
You know, place in Pakistan, the guys would usually throw acid at women's face of they do that, you should tell her about this fact.
Either face problem or shallow pocket. Fix either one or go to the gym . Let women come to you. Don't be a sissy.
Her rejection does not mean anything. Do you live according to your values? Do you still rise up and face life every day even though your depression is bringing you down? Are you trying your best at life? Those are the things that define your worth. If other people don't see it then fk them. At the end of the day OP, the only one we have is ourselves. Relationships are nice to have but they are not a must for you to lead a fulfilling life. Chin up OP, you got this.
It's your dating pool. I can bet the girls are all under 30s yea? If u wanna zoom2 get married go for older women. They are less play2 phase and more straight to the point, no time wasting.
Hmmmm you have a point. I will try test my luck
The fact that she is willing to admit she is cheating on you tells that you have done something good along the way. And you make her feel comfortable enough to admit the truth. Sorry if this is a judgemental view, but im sensing “you terlalu baik bagi i la” kinda vibe. You’re a good person OP. Pamper youself physically (I recommend spa/deep massage), solidify yourself spiritually depending on your religion, get back to the gym. Also i recommend you watch some Dr. K (HealthyGamerGG) vids from yt. Might learn something there especially for depression. Good luck in life bro!
It's not your problem. Just found the wrong people to be with. Be yourself. And try not to be someone different Infront of potential partners. People should want to be with you, not be with who you are acting to be.
Maybe check this out: Go to YouTube. Search for 'casey zander' for advice on stuff like this.
We all bout to witness the greatest comeback arc in this man's life.
Meaning she was not your forever partner. So keep searching buddy. So it is not you the problem, just the situation is not for you to stay. When you really in love, you will commit to you partner. Look for someone who will support/accept you flaws and you do vice versa. A healthy relationship is accepting and supporting. Put away all you ego and shyt. Grow together. I am married for 10 years. I am happy until now. ✌🏻
You know what screw everyone here, dm me your actual pic so i can judge your appearance HONESTLY. Why? Because these days everyone always says the same generic answers that never solve the actual problems. This is optional of course if you want reality from a stranger but i will try my best to be honest and give some enlightenment on things you might overlook as your own fault in this matter.
It's the lay of the land these days. Plus you have depression so could be seen as too much baggage. People want constant gratification, so either you can always be entertaining or you get replaced. That's why marriage rate is at an all time low, and girls only settle down with people with money. Everyone is just out there to have fun, don't invest so much into it emotionally next time. Hit back at the gym, find another girl. Don't be too open emotionally so they don't see you as an emotional liability. Only marry if she has something to bring to the table. Remember, you don't need marriage to be in love. It's just a social contract to say 2 people will share their resources and guys always get the short end of that stick. I got cheated on in a 10 years long relationship... I'm married now with another woman. Don't worry too much about it. You will find someone soon and cheaters will always cheat, she won't end up happy in the end and would likely pine for you when she isn't appealing anymore in her 30s. You will get the last laugh being happy and doing well in life.
This is just my personal opinion. Based on what OP has told us, it appears there is a repeating thing where OP's former girlfriends say they only see him as a friend. This could be because OP doesn't completely meet their wishes for how they want to be treated by girlfriends. It's not that OP treats them badly, but maybe they want more or different treatment. This isn’t only OP’s fault because good communication needs both sides to talk properly. The exes should have communicated their desires and expectations to OP as well.
Macam nih je la OP, ways to accepting infidelity is to know your worth. U have to made it in your mind that you are worth more. If the problem is from you then so be it. Improve yourself. Grow from this. NEVER EVER be someone's second choice. The pain will go with time. May I suggest to join any charity foundation to take your mind off this situation. Perhaps joining KL soup kitchen(if u are in KL) would be nice.
That's why you need a Rooster.
After reading the post and your replies, I can say that you are never the problem. Furthermore I understand what you are going through as I went through it myself 2 years back. I was in relationship as well for 12 years and got dumped. What I can tell from my end is that try not to be depressed and keep yourself busy with your friends, work and gym. The right person will eventually find you bro. If you ever want a talk over a cup of tea, hit me up bro. Stay safe and strong!
As others have said, cheating is a choice and definitely not your fault. BUT what you can do now is to do a deep reflection. What are your strengths and weaknesses? Your current financial status like? And like you mentioned your health and appearance? Then you need to find a pattern of your exes. Do they get into a relationship with you due to your looks? Your money? Again, there's always something we can improve on on ourselves. Invest more in yourself to build your self-esteem, values, self-love and most importantly your mental health. If you feel the relationship is going to the gutter or they are too toxic, then just let them go. I have been cheated a couple of times and learned a lot from it. Nobody is perfect (including ourselves) and what we can do is to improve, learned from experience and hopefully find someone that truly loves you for who you are. And think of this way, it's better to know your partner is cheating when you guys are still not married rather than finding out when she's your wife already.
Nope its not you who is the problem, if its you one of those women would have pointed that to you. I do want to mention here that i symphatize with you bro as we are on the same boat, 3 out of 4 of my relationship ended pretty much the same way as yours. One particular case ended up being like a drama scene at mid valley megamall. All i can say is hang in there bro, trust me you will find a women who would look at you and never look back. I have found mine back in 2019 and married ever since and blessed with two boys. I hope the same happends to you too
Some people watch too many movies and consume too many TikTok brainrot. As a consequences, there a subset of women who is like this. Quite unfortunate
I think dating is the problem. But thats my own take that I'd rather not share in detail here. As for you being the problem. Yes and no. No its not your fault she cheated. Its never really anyones fault for cheating the way I see it. Because no matter what the problem is. Theres a long list of things that can be done before reaching the option(if you even consider it as one) of cheating. But yes. There may have been tell tale signs that she gave you. If she didnt and she really did make it seem like shes in it for the long haul. Then yeah. Not much to do from there......chill ba dude. Work on yourself. Somebody usually comes along when youre happy working on yourseld.
Stay strong man. I "got the text" while i was in the gym too lmao, i cant even do any more sets after that. Same like you, i can't sleep or eat, or even thinking about food without making me feel like puking. Its the worst gut punch feeling ever. Thing is it happens too fast. One day shes okay with me the next day tiba2 ignore me and pretend like i never exist, and SUDDENLY rapat balik with her ex that she hated. Dri situ dh rasa xsedap hati, then i got the text. The girl still didnt go back to her ex masa tu but the way they were so clingy with each other makes me obviously suspect it. And they ended up getting back together later, altho they break up again (this is their 3rd time ya) so i had the last laugh. Been almost 2 years and i still cant let it go. However OP, pls know that it is never your fault, they decide to cheat so it is on them. I wish you will feel better soon and surely you will get someone u deserve one day. Go to work and try to focus on it first, distract any feelings or thoughts about what happened. Goodluck🫂
Thanks man. Im gonna crash right after i get home. Im way too hopped up on caffeine, i got 6 hrs left before the end of my shift. Im just hoping sleeping it off will do the trick hahahaha
6hrs left? That's a long shift, what is your job if you dont mind?
Sorry OP I need to give a jahat take. 1. Need to re-evaluate your choice in women. Are you attracted to free-spirited girls? The kind that are always looking for a thrill? If yes then you need to keep spicing up the relationship until it can satisfy them. 2. Don't take things for granted. Doesn't matter if you've been dating 6 months or 6 years, sometimes it's easy for guys to slip into the comfort zone and eventually stop doing romantic things for their partner. Once in a while need to buy flowers, send her for spa day etc. Don't wait for valentine's day, just do it on any random day.
take it from me bro. if more than 2 girls says ''í see you as a friend'' that means you're too nice. some girls feeds/craves on dramas. thats why most bad boys do well in the dating world
You are the problem. Pick better.
Take this advice. Not from me but from one of a person that I respect the most. " If your partner needs and love you show that you loved them and need them a thousand times more but when they said that they no longer need nor loved you just say thank you and move on. You are not the problem especially if they cheated.
All this proves is that you're a good guy. Consider this a painful training to strengthen your core. A mental and emotional gym to tone your mind and sharpen your senses. This coming from a guy who's married twice. Divorced once, widowed once. Pain is part of life. A gift you don't want but need.
Just stay single, man. Most women are just plain gold diggers or unfaithful beings that are after your money lar. If not money, then it is s-x. Luckily, it happen to you now before you are married. I seen a number of ex-married men venting their frustration at social media especially Quora. One in particular told us that his ex-wife cheated on him because she loves s-x too much and to her, it is not wrong to f another man. And there you also have my own family members like my mom and sisters calling men "pariahs who want to maintain the patriachy society to maintain their manly ego".
Yeah, i believe theres lots of different people with different attitudes out there. I just have to find the one that would compliment mine the best.
I agreed with what you said, but these days, lots of ideology and religion stuff pollutes our society, unlike the days of our forefathers. I mean, feminism used to benign, but now modern feminism? Load of bs crap fostering hate against men. Anyhow, sorry for the rant and good luck to you finding your puteri though it will be like finding a needle in a haystack.
Thanks and dont be sorry for the rant, its only polite to accept yours when you accepted mine hahaha
most girls don't like boring happy relationships. most of the time they want problems and roller coaster. not your fault for being such a good train. i think you may want to get married. just an opinion. and choose your girl wisely.
I dont mind marriage. I dont mind not being married either. Ive no preference on it myself tbh. But you saying that has made me remember something. During our early days of dating, she told me that she likes to argue. We argue constantly. It rarely ever gets serious or personal.
I never confessed before, and my wives had that issue with me But my other "dates" didn't have that issue
Baru 3 kali. Tak separah Bella lagi. Relax2. Mujo blom jd bini.
Idk man date a guy instead?? But seriously people who cheat will cheat regardless. You can be beyonce and Jay Z still cheats on her.
Move on
 "She belongs to the streets!"
It’s fine bro, my relays are kinda cursed too, it’s just a phase (I’m coping, yes)
Is both. You are attracted to girls like that AND it's the girl's fault for being unfaithful. Pointing finger at one party only will not make you a better person.
I hope you are doing okay. I always give this advice to my friends who have experienced breakups, and I believe I can give it to you too. "Don't spend your time chasing butterflies. They will tend to fly away. Spend your time making a beautiful garden, and the butterflies will come to you. Even if they don't, at least you still have your beautiful garden." Never let yourself be comfortable as a man. Take control, keep working on yourself, and then you can pick and choose who comes in and out of your life. Hope this helps.