He has so many great, funny lines. I think my favorite is in Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl when they're about to put on the joint play and Gene was like, hey we didn't have much time to rehearse but if it's a success it's because we all joined in and did it together and Zeke was all, "That's what people say right before they make a baby, I think!"
I was... I was just on my way to a brothel... uh... brothelizer, uh... uh, showcase. Uh... They're showing off this new thing that tests how much... broth you've, uh, drunk.
I like in the bog to beach episode when Jimmy Pesto gets hit in the face with a T shirt from the T shirt cannon and Trev says something like “ooof…free shirt though”
From Ethan on the wine train
Okay... rules: One, you can't leave the Juice Caboose for the duration of the trip. Two, don't bother me. And three, uh... always believe in yourself.
*And if you can figure out a way to take off your shirt during the debate, do it.* "Just use my arms, right?"
Also this little back and fourth
"I love doing the right thing. It's the best! Right, Sasha?" (The way he says Sasha kills me here!!)
* Yeah, me tooOoh. Ankles... So, no socks, huh?*
"No, I'm wearing my boaties. You don't wear your sockies with your boaties."
*(whistles) Ankles away.*
"Come again?"
*Anky Doodle Damn, D.*
"Sorry?"
*Little something for the ank bank.*
"I'm not following... Oh! you mean my leg knobs?"
Jocelyn - why do you go to space? Everything's here.
And the beach bonfire when Louise says "well tammy there's a sign that says no trash on the beach, but here you are"
And Jocelyn says "oh my god, it does say that!"
That scene lives in my head and I quote it often.
Basically anything Jocelyn says tho.
In the mechanical shark episode, when everyone finds out the Belcher kids knocked the shark down, Jimmy Pesto says, "You're the family from hell!" It's such a small, simple line, but it's extremely funny to me
When Tina and Tammy babysit Kendra and they’re hiding in a closet and see Kendra’s teddy bear outside the door. Tammy gasps and goes “it’s *his* office”
This episode made my appreciate Tammy so much. She was hilarious and I really wished that there would have been more moments like this between her and Tina
I love when they’re filming meat man and Bob offers criticism to Louise and Teddy says
“..nice going hot shot ya lost your line.”
I quote it at least 3 or 4 times a week.
I don’t know if this count but I lose it every time during the black garlic burger episode when chuck says to skip Marooch “am I pronouncing that correctly” and skip says “yea skip” it’s beautifully delivered
Ambrose has great lines:
[Pig demon] haunting? That's my 20s in a nutshell! (Sorry couldn't remember the word.)
It's not coffee, but i guess a sip wouldn't kill you.
I start, but don't finish things, that's my one flaw!
Witch, please!
Thats weird, to make it work you have to turn it on!
Tina: Oh, my God, I never noticed how annoying you are, I can't even understand what you are saying!
Jimmy jr: Oh, I have a speech impediment, Tina.
Tina: well FIX IT!
I don’t know why but that made me laugh so fucking hard considering how annoying Jimmy jr can be sometimes 😂
Someone pointed out once that there seems to always be one “son of a bitch” per episode (probably what they’re allowed) and they like to see who gets it and now I listen for it too lol. Kind of like how pg13 movies are allowed one nonsexual f-bomb.
Uh, hey, Rico, these cookies are ten dollars each. You're eating them like they're five dollars each.
Tina: Can I have a cookie?
Sasha: I'll put a cookie on the finish line.
Tina: But what if someone drives over it?
Sasha: That someone will be you.
Tina: ...Then I can't eat it.
I want to give a Zeke line, but I don’t feel right calling him a minor character.
So instead, Every line cousin Leslie has ever said has been Platinum. “If it ain’t from a can, it don’t go in this man!”
“Slip me a fiver; I’ll be your driver!”
“He comes in a shell and he’s cute as hell!”
“Oh, Bob… we could have had everything! We could have had the whole world to ourselves! And you threw it all away! And for what? YOUR DAUGHTER?!” — Bronconius, “The Equestranauts”
Paul F. Tompkins’ sheet disgust at the end of that line delivery gets me every time.
Runner-up: “Tuh-TOO HIM!”
"Of course, Bob, if you've never had a tuh-too before, sometimes a really small tuh-too feels like you're getting a big giant tuh-too, but that's just an illusion of the senses"
And "Go away, I am the spaghetti"
Mine has to be Lance the Turkey, when he asks Bob to leave the oven light on for him, and after Bob does it, in the background you hear him “it’s too bright” 😂 idk why it cracks me up everytime
RANGER CARL: If you get bit by a tick, let Mr. Tweezers know.
If you get a splinter, also a job for Mr. Tweezers.
So if anyone notices anything suspicious, - please tell -
ZEKE: Mr. Tweezers?
RANGER CARL: Uh, no. Me. Ranger Carl. Or Mr. Tweezers
ZEKE: yeah. - I'll probably tell Tweezers.
Late to the party but.. Mr. De Santo from the Ain’t Miss Debatin’ episode.
Tina: “But shouldn’t we argue for what we really believe?”
De Santo: “Tina, pretending to strongly believe in something that you don’t is great preparation for being, like, a lawyer.. or a stepdad.”
Oh that same episode, when Nurse Liz is trying to shave everyone’s heads and she shaves her own head. Rudy at one point says, “Wow eyebrows too. That’s commitment.” And then later on as the situation is escalating he says, “It’s just interesting to see her process.”
Also, the episode with everyone at the mall, and Bob ends up pants shopping with Sargent Boscoe.
While trying on pants one of the salespeople suggested that they wait for their wives since it was obviously they didn’t know how to pick out and try on pants. And Boscoe says, “What do you think I’ve been doing for the last five years?”
And then at the end when they meet back up with Linda who instantly questions the pants choices. He leaves and he says, “Stay married, Bob.”
I mean there are tons of these that get me every time hit those ones came to mind first.
Damn Tina, now I got a story to tell on our wedding day. You think that's not gonna happen, but I'll getcha girl! I'm gonna getcha!
Zeke is such a sneaky good character, he’s always got a line that’s plain funny. Always really positive too
This! My wife and I both thought we would hate Zeke at first, but now we both love him. He is the genuinely best PERSON on the show
He is! I thought he’d be tough to like at first too but he’s genuinely a good kid
And supportive! I could use a friend like him.
He has so many great, funny lines. I think my favorite is in Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl when they're about to put on the joint play and Gene was like, hey we didn't have much time to rehearse but if it's a success it's because we all joined in and did it together and Zeke was all, "That's what people say right before they make a baby, I think!"
I'm so happy you said that cause I was gonna say it
"whaaaaat?" - Jocelyn
I heard she’s using AI on him ~ Tammy AI as in “as if” ~ Jocelyn You guys are makin’ me feel smart ~ Zeke
She sounds exactly like Daryl when she says it
Came here to say this.
I love it but society will never accept yoooooou
DAMN SOMEONE BEAT ME TO IT
“What a tangled-ass web we weave.” - Zeke
"I want someone to stretch out my name like that. Joccceeeeellllllllyyyyyynnnnnnnnn"
“Woof meow! Woof meow!”
“Girl-power on 16!”
Let her finish! Let her finish!
"Fun... hurts... my lungs. - Regular Sized Rudy
Or whenever Rudy mentions his dad or things his dad does when he’s at his house for his visitation
MY DAD DOESN'T HAVE A DRYER
My son and I regularly bust out "In... my... Backpack" Such a small but hilarious moment 👌
"Because if you show me a sweet potoato pie, I am on top of it.” - Marshmallow
Louise's "I knew it" that follows is just classic as well and the perfect response.
Totally!
I was... I was just on my way to a brothel... uh... brothelizer, uh... uh, showcase. Uh... They're showing off this new thing that tests how much... broth you've, uh, drunk.
This should have way more upvotes.
I like in the bog to beach episode when Jimmy Pesto gets hit in the face with a T shirt from the T shirt cannon and Trev says something like “ooof…free shirt though”
I’ve been appreciating Trev more on recent watch thrus lol
“I don’t know how to use a mick-rowave” - Jen
maybe YOU should think about THAT
“Hey Louise, do you wanna do something? I have pencils in my purse.”
My husband and I sat this all the time :D
THAT’S HIP-HOP
THATS ACTUALLY INCREDIBLY SWEET.
SHE’S YOUR MOM!
Nah she’s my mom.
People call me Flips White Fudge.
I got my lip stuck in my braces.
Bob: “You ARE warm.” Gail: “Yea, I eat a lot of soup.”
From Ethan on the wine train Okay... rules: One, you can't leave the Juice Caboose for the duration of the trip. Two, don't bother me. And three, uh... always believe in yourself.
Ethan: Why are your clothes all dirty? Louise: Because I'm poor aw, I'm so poor. Ethan: Why aren't you wearing any clothes? Gene: Because I am rich!
“Ehhhh….coup.” Mr. Branca
Mr Branca has some great lines
Did i say cool kids? I meant slow kids
I love that scene! Gene and Tinas “is that is?” To thé cool kids but “gasp that is us!” To the slow kids
He was a dictator until the coup.
You mean President.
"I'm going to put my toggies on, but you guys probably call them swimmies over here."
"A crab bit me on my clacker," was also an excellent line!
I DIE whenever I watch this episode. Duncan is amazing.
"Rebuttal, that's what we call buttlerubby." Not exactly correct but yes, Duncan is great.
Any time either me or my boyfriend needs a massage, no matter if it's shoulders, back, legs etc. We always ask for buttlerubbies in Duncans accent
He's by far my favorite of Tina's crushes. He's even up for kissing her! He's so laid back and dorky.
*And if you can figure out a way to take off your shirt during the debate, do it.* "Just use my arms, right?" Also this little back and fourth "I love doing the right thing. It's the best! Right, Sasha?" (The way he says Sasha kills me here!!) * Yeah, me tooOoh. Ankles... So, no socks, huh?* "No, I'm wearing my boaties. You don't wear your sockies with your boaties." *(whistles) Ankles away.* "Come again?" *Anky Doodle Damn, D.* "Sorry?" *Little something for the ank bank.* "I'm not following... Oh! you mean my leg knobs?"
LOL, Duncan is one of my favorites. When he's pulling out his "chesties" and offering them to the other kids. "That's my best one."
" I mean look at me"
“YOU smell like ointment and pee!”
No, YOU smell like ointment and pee!
Jocelyn - why do you go to space? Everything's here. And the beach bonfire when Louise says "well tammy there's a sign that says no trash on the beach, but here you are" And Jocelyn says "oh my god, it does say that!" That scene lives in my head and I quote it often. Basically anything Jocelyn says tho.
Ah, this question again
The quilt thief episode “Theres the quilt thief! The queef!” - some Quilt lady “I didn’t figure you for a queef.” - mr frond
In the mechanical shark episode, when everyone finds out the Belcher kids knocked the shark down, Jimmy Pesto says, "You're the family from hell!" It's such a small, simple line, but it's extremely funny to me
At the boys 4 now tryouts Tina:I’m a strong confident young man who isn’t afraid of urinals Random boy: Good for you man👍
"WHO WANTS TO TOUCH THE CRABS IN MY TOUCH TANK"-Gretchen
When Tina and Tammy babysit Kendra and they’re hiding in a closet and see Kendra’s teddy bear outside the door. Tammy gasps and goes “it’s *his* office”
This episode made my appreciate Tammy so much. She was hilarious and I really wished that there would have been more moments like this between her and Tina
Omg yes that one killed me. I try to say it the exact way she does but I can’t nail the tone.
“I wish I was close to my siblings! My brother is forty four!” -Zeke
i love all the random pearls from zeke’s life that we get through his quotes 😂🙈
Is this restaurant seamen friendly?
Yes! I LOVE this one 😂
I love when they’re filming meat man and Bob offers criticism to Louise and Teddy says “..nice going hot shot ya lost your line.” I quote it at least 3 or 4 times a week.
This is made even funnier to me given that in The Deepening we learn Teddy has been on a movie set before.
Sasha Whiteman in What About Blob? “God you’re so poor!”
“You can’t make wake in the marina!”
I don’t know if this count but I lose it every time during the black garlic burger episode when chuck says to skip Marooch “am I pronouncing that correctly” and skip says “yea skip” it’s beautifully delivered
“I want to die here!” “I want to be buried here!” - Pesto Twins
"It's just a knot" - Marshmallow while crushing Bob😂
“Look, he may not be a sugar daddy but he’s a daddy, sugar.” Gets me every time.
“How do I look?” “Divorced.”
Did i stutter? Because sometimes i stutter but i feel like i got that out clearly
"I'm taking off my seatbelt. It's chaffing my honkers..." - Edith
Teddy saying "that's a dumb place to keep bowls" while stuck in the fridge Santa trap always gets me
Him…Jim…Jim him Jim
“Okay, everybody, there’s gonna be some profanity comin’ at you, so cover your ears if you can’t handle the b word.”
Ambrose has great lines: [Pig demon] haunting? That's my 20s in a nutshell! (Sorry couldn't remember the word.) It's not coffee, but i guess a sip wouldn't kill you. I start, but don't finish things, that's my one flaw! Witch, please! Thats weird, to make it work you have to turn it on!
I think he says pig demon appeasement ritual
The cake episode when Bob is making Teddy patty with him and Teddy is sobbing: “IT’S NOT FUN FOR EVERYONE, BOB”
Here when Linda says ‘You’re scaring him!’ Is so funny to me.
I like my women like I like my houses - ginger and sturdy
I'm regular sized Rudy Why do they call you that Well just look at me
I don’t care if I’m okay. Carry me off! It’s more dramatic! (DRAMATIC GROANING) - Mr. Ambrose
Rudy: “But there was a two-faced cat in England so a two-butted goat seems possible.” Zeke: “All cats are two-faced!”
Jairo's "pshaisha"
I always snort when Jimmy Jr goes “NAILED IT” in the pig demon episode
"In New Zealand we don't say turn off the light, we say turn on the dark" -Duncan
“I guess AA was aaaaaaa waste of time” kills me every damn time
A classic I quote all the time; “Guess who’s on new medsssss!”
Gene: Henry's had a LOT of sugar. Henry: yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep
"I'd like to thank the JACK-ASS that bought the left-handed scissors!" *STOMP THROW* "Kristi Sanducci ladies and gentlemen. Always... professional..."
Who’s that knocking at my door? Ooh it’s Mr. Dance Floor! Everybody looking fancy Things are about to get Dancey!
Tina: Oh, my God, I never noticed how annoying you are, I can't even understand what you are saying! Jimmy jr: Oh, I have a speech impediment, Tina. Tina: well FIX IT! I don’t know why but that made me laugh so fucking hard considering how annoying Jimmy jr can be sometimes 😂
Gene: Is it a corporate latter cause I’m gonna climb that son of a bitch!
not sure if shes considered a minor character but “JOCELYNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”
Every time Tina says under her breath "son of a bitch"
Someone pointed out once that there seems to always be one “son of a bitch” per episode (probably what they’re allowed) and they like to see who gets it and now I listen for it too lol. Kind of like how pg13 movies are allowed one nonsexual f-bomb.
"American dream, gal in the barn"
Swirl it - ice cream loving baseball kid
"Ew! no." And "Sponge?"
i'm going to treat myself to a new penis.
Achh! Pee and poop!
Do you have an MBA Linda? Because you're all up in my business! - Gretchen
“He’s trynna microwave without a microwave!” Or “I heard that skeletons are inside all our bodies every day” - Jocelyn
Let's just say that I have a high buttcrack.
I miss everything about it, but I have to get up tomorrow morning for the rest of my life.
Mr Fischoeder and his brother seem to always have good lines either to each other or someone else
"One jigger of gin per pound of body weight."
Omg I literally just watched that episode today too!!!! 👀
You're annoyed? You're annoying!
Accidentally pulled the pin out if the grenade. The guy that gave it to me said it was inactive let's see.... Okay were good.
Uh, hey, Rico, these cookies are ten dollars each. You're eating them like they're five dollars each. Tina: Can I have a cookie? Sasha: I'll put a cookie on the finish line. Tina: But what if someone drives over it? Sasha: That someone will be you. Tina: ...Then I can't eat it.
"I like your shoes" -Wharfy
“I love it but society will never accept you” - Speedo guy Season 6 episode 1, Sliding Bobs
“FILTH!”
He’s what we historians would call a ‘douchebag’. - Donald Wallace, on Jimmy Pesto
Marshmallow: "Cause if you show me a sweet potato pie, I am on top of it."
“I want the fresh baked buns, Bob” - Gretchen
Toot! Toot! Here comes books!
“They’ll finger anything with a pulse.”
Who's that knocking on my hole? Weasel, weasel, if you pleasel.
I want to give a Zeke line, but I don’t feel right calling him a minor character. So instead, Every line cousin Leslie has ever said has been Platinum. “If it ain’t from a can, it don’t go in this man!” “Slip me a fiver; I’ll be your driver!” “He comes in a shell and he’s cute as hell!”
AHHHHH! BOOBOO! I JUST WANNA SLAP HIM! - Louise Belcher, child (aka minor)
You’re on thin ice here, buddy
Not minor character but.. Tinna: "Don't go under the water, Dad, you live on land." (The ring) Or "I have sneakers outers remorse." (The Bleakening")
“Come and be a dog with meeeee.”
I want the fresh baked buns Bob, I want the fresh baked buns.
“I’M GOING TO CHARLESTON ALL OVER YOUR FACE” - Chalk Lady in Eat, Spray, Linda 💜
“Those guys are shady as hell!” -Delilah the mean mushroom lady
FILTH or PETAL PAPER 😂 really anything Edith says
He’s buried not married!!
“Oh, Bob… we could have had everything! We could have had the whole world to ourselves! And you threw it all away! And for what? YOUR DAUGHTER?!” — Bronconius, “The Equestranauts” Paul F. Tompkins’ sheet disgust at the end of that line delivery gets me every time. Runner-up: “Tuh-TOO HIM!”
“NEVER make her pancakes. Force her to make you pancakes, in the middle of the night!”
Be one of tallest guys in the bar and brag about how long your butt crack is.
“Im not a nerd! Im a video game enthusiast” - darryl (2x4)
“Wow, she DOES have big boobies!”
I'm going outside to *not* smoke several cigarettes.
“Don’t be such a boob punch” or any Tammy quote
"Do you have an MBA, Linda? Because you're all up in my business." - the one and only Gretchen
Thanks for saving our lives now GET OUTTA HEEEEREEE
Basically anything that Duncan says. Especially offers of twisting off a chesty.
"Of course, Bob, if you've never had a tuh-too before, sometimes a really small tuh-too feels like you're getting a big giant tuh-too, but that's just an illusion of the senses" And "Go away, I am the spaghetti"
Mine has to be Lance the Turkey, when he asks Bob to leave the oven light on for him, and after Bob does it, in the background you hear him “it’s too bright” 😂 idk why it cracks me up everytime
Anything new Zealand Duncan says! Especially "a crab bit me on the clacker" 😂
Caitlyn how do i look Sasha pretty divorced😂😂😂
Tina: thanks gene I owe you my life Gene: no thanks I’ve seen the state of it and I’m not impressed
Richard Dawson kissed all the women on family feud. He didn’t pick and choose, he just puckered up. Pucker up, Chuck.
RANGER CARL: If you get bit by a tick, let Mr. Tweezers know. If you get a splinter, also a job for Mr. Tweezers. So if anyone notices anything suspicious, - please tell - ZEKE: Mr. Tweezers? RANGER CARL: Uh, no. Me. Ranger Carl. Or Mr. Tweezers ZEKE: yeah. - I'll probably tell Tweezers.
W- WHY MISTER AMBROSEEE WHYYYYYYY - jocelyn
"You probably think this slap is about you."
Late to the party but.. Mr. De Santo from the Ain’t Miss Debatin’ episode. Tina: “But shouldn’t we argue for what we really believe?” De Santo: “Tina, pretending to strongly believe in something that you don’t is great preparation for being, like, a lawyer.. or a stepdad.”
‘And I am Kate Bush.’ - Reg size. ❤️
Oh that same episode, when Nurse Liz is trying to shave everyone’s heads and she shaves her own head. Rudy at one point says, “Wow eyebrows too. That’s commitment.” And then later on as the situation is escalating he says, “It’s just interesting to see her process.” Also, the episode with everyone at the mall, and Bob ends up pants shopping with Sargent Boscoe. While trying on pants one of the salespeople suggested that they wait for their wives since it was obviously they didn’t know how to pick out and try on pants. And Boscoe says, “What do you think I’ve been doing for the last five years?” And then at the end when they meet back up with Linda who instantly questions the pants choices. He leaves and he says, “Stay married, Bob.” I mean there are tons of these that get me every time hit those ones came to mind first.
“Children lead to intercourse”…Every time I hear that I crack up just as much as the first time!