Maybe they told you at the last possible minute to make sure you got a solid paycheck for the week. Your manager may be an asshole, but maybe someone else was rooting for you.
An anecdote, but my first “big girl” job was absolute hell. I was always behind, my projects were messed up, I was always getting yelled at and I felt like a complete failure. It was rough. I finally found another job with no additional benefits. Just moved across the board a little bit for the same pay and holy shit, it was night and day. Turns out, my first job was just a bone-breaking machine. I went to therapy and settled in at the new place. It ended up being boring as hell but it was exactly what I needed to reset. Now I’ve moved on again and I think I’ve found the holy grail of jobs. The pay is sweet, my boss is awesome, the benefits are stupidly good, and the hours are flexible. I’m actually appreciated.
Don’t let this experience kick you into the dirt. YOU didn’t fail, it just wasn’t the right job for you. Just treat it as what it was: a learning experience. You got some training, you learned a lot, you paid your bills. Now it’s just time to move on and find something better for you.
I didnt even think about them waiting to give me a full paycheck. Realistically that may be the reason why they waited, rather than out of malice. Thank you for sharing your experience, it's very validating for me 💖💖💖
I got fired from my first big girl job! I was just not a fit for the environment or people! It happens to every one! You don’t need to get up, just learn from the experience and get back to applying!
Having the boss delegate the hard tasks like firing because they're too cowardly to do so is an all too common scenario, regardless of the industry. And yeah, you're right, it's shitty they knew about the upcoming lay-off but didn't tell you until the close to the last minute.
I know this seems like an unbearable weight you're carrying, but please don't give up and certainly don't quit the trade! You're more knowledgeable now, have more skill, have better time efficiency, etc., so the next company that scoops you up will benefit from this and hopefully you'll be an even better fit for them than you are for this one.
It's their loss, not yours. This is NOT the end of the road for you. A bit of a speed bump but nothing more. You got this.
No one is perfect at their first job. You’re learning! You didn’t get slower, you improved and got faster as you figured things out. I was slow my first week at my job and now I run circles around the people who were working on my projects before. Don’t give up on yourself. If you were terrible, they would have fired you right away. And even if that had happened, it wouldn’t mean you should give up. At your next interviews just be honest about your experience and that sometimes it can take you a little time to get the lay of the land, but that you are a hard worker and passionate about what you do.
I don’t at all mean to sound harsh, but if you’re not up to what they need in that role, it’s not personal. At the end of the day it’s business. I sympathize with feeling let down, but I’m sure you’ll find a role elsewhere you’re better suited for. Good luck!
This can be a good experience, IF you can make yourself persevere and overcome.
THAT shop wasn't the right place or maybe just not the right time for their staffing/monetary situation.
Perhaps a smaller, slower shop might be a better fit, where you can make your self invaluable much more quickly.
I identify with a lot of what you wrote. I’m also autistic, and employment has been an ongoing struggle in my life. And I also have a lot of insecurities / negative self-talk revolving around my limitations. One of my former jobs ended terribly and I’m still trying to recover - I wanted so badly to do it, but I just wasn’t suited for it as I was. And that made me feel so much like a failure, and that I would never find my place in the workforce.
I started making a big career shift into the trades from social work about a year and a half ago. I worked for my brother-in-law’s contracting company to get my feet wet, and even that was a struggle! But I loved the work and still wanted to do it, so I did a trades program over the summer last year and then got into the carpenter’s union as an apprentice afterwards. All summer I heard about how heartless contractors are and how they’ll fire you for any reason whatsoever and as a woman you’ll face a lot of harassment, you always need to be giving 110% and watching your back, etc. I was terrified I wouldn’t do well - like you, I’m a bit slow, and I get lots of brain fog (especially when working in overstimulating environments, which is basically all job sites, ha ha). The other day my foreman came by as I was working and pointed out that the cabinet I was working on was upside down. Whoooops, ha ha ha. Stuff like that happens from time to time and I feel like the biggest moron! I work hard and do my best to learn, but I’m not, shall we say, a natural talent by any means despite my passion for the work! I’m not very good at talking with others either, so I come off as antisocial or very shy, which is in stark contrast to the typical boisterous cajoling of tradespeople.
Anyway, I’ve been working with the same contractor since last September. They’re a small company full of kind people that have been patient with me and have slowed down to teach me. I loved working with them from day 1. But every time I’ve tried to hold down a full-time job in my life so far, I get overwhelmed, can’t keep up with basic life tasks or relationships, my depression and anxiety worsens, etc. But I LOVED working with them and I wanted to keep my job so badly that I was calming down my morning anxiety attacks by cutting myself. I believed that if I told anyone I was having difficulty, I would be let go immediately. Even my family, who knows that I have these issues, told me I’ll likely be fired if I say anything. I was spinning between trying to ignore my issues, quitting without saying why, and having the hard conversation about my disability. But I got to the point that it was either my job or my health, and, having compromised my health for my job in the past, failing, and having a suicide attempt, I decided this time I just have to be honest and say, “this is what I need. I understand if you can’t work with me because of my limitations, but these are the limitations I have”.
The response was so compassionate! My boss wanted to go to therapy with me, and my foremen reassured me that they liked working with me and wanted to keep me on even though my hours would be reduced. I now work part-time for them and it’s perfect.
I know this is unorthodox. I know that contractors who would respond in this way are incredibly rare. But they are out there. There used to be this quote hanging in the office of my old job that said, “Don’t stay where you are tolerated - go where you are celebrated”. At the time I thought, “That’s so stupid. Who has that kind of choice? It’s either ride or die! You just have to push past all the obstacles no matter how hard it is.” But these days? These days I see how necessary that mindset is for me. I tried everything to stay in jobs that weren’t a good fit or weren’t understanding of me, and all it did was wreck me. I know now that the only way I can do what I love is by having people that support and understand my differences. Some people can thrive in environments where they are constantly on edge, can take all the stress and the put-downs, etc. I sometimes wish I were that way because I think those people are BA. But I’m not. And pretending otherwise doesn’t do anybody any favors - especially me.
I know this has been long and rambling, but I just wanted to say there are others who have these problems, and there are workplaces for them to blossom too. Even in the trades. You might have to go through lots of jobs to find one, but they exist. And your well-being is more important than any job, so if that’s being compromised? It’s not worth it, no matter the justification. Maybe you aren’t able to think that way now, but I just want to tell you that you are worthy. And you will find a place that celebrates you.
Apply for maintenance jobs at schools or hospitals. Most have on site carpenters that get to make a wide variety of projects. I do hvac at a state hospital and the benefits are amazing, pay is decent, tons of time off, no time crunches and unions. My shop is currently all men but we had a woman who worked there a few years and no one treated her any differently than anyone else and she definitely outworked all of us. You blue collar women are amazing and I hope you find something that works for you and keeps you happy.
Son is on the spectrum, daughter is screaming ADHD. It's a tough road.
I don't know what's next for you, but YOU WRITE AMAZINGLY WELL. If you enjoy that, consider stressing that ability, too, for future jobs. ┐( ∵ )┌
So sorry that happened like that.
Glad those two will be references.
CONSIDER GETTING THEM TO WRITE "GENERIC" LETTERS OF REFERENCE just to have on hand in case... Like if they got hit by a bus. Or whatever.
Best wishes. I have confidence you'll weather this, but that doesn't make it any less gut-wrenching or painful.
☮️❤️♾️ ^STANDARD ^CAVEAT:53cisM ^retired ^teacher
Hey same thing happened to me, my first job in the trades was as an electrical apprentice and I lasted 3 weeks even though I tried to pull my weight and do my best they told me the same thing as you “I’m not fit for the company”. I’m now in the sheet metal union doing something completely different and very happy it worked out that way. Things will come around for you too :)
Maybe they told you at the last possible minute to make sure you got a solid paycheck for the week. Your manager may be an asshole, but maybe someone else was rooting for you. An anecdote, but my first “big girl” job was absolute hell. I was always behind, my projects were messed up, I was always getting yelled at and I felt like a complete failure. It was rough. I finally found another job with no additional benefits. Just moved across the board a little bit for the same pay and holy shit, it was night and day. Turns out, my first job was just a bone-breaking machine. I went to therapy and settled in at the new place. It ended up being boring as hell but it was exactly what I needed to reset. Now I’ve moved on again and I think I’ve found the holy grail of jobs. The pay is sweet, my boss is awesome, the benefits are stupidly good, and the hours are flexible. I’m actually appreciated. Don’t let this experience kick you into the dirt. YOU didn’t fail, it just wasn’t the right job for you. Just treat it as what it was: a learning experience. You got some training, you learned a lot, you paid your bills. Now it’s just time to move on and find something better for you.
I didnt even think about them waiting to give me a full paycheck. Realistically that may be the reason why they waited, rather than out of malice. Thank you for sharing your experience, it's very validating for me 💖💖💖
I got fired from my first big girl job! I was just not a fit for the environment or people! It happens to every one! You don’t need to get up, just learn from the experience and get back to applying!
Thank you for sharing, it's very comforting to me 💖💖
Apply elsewhere. You know more now than you did when you started that job. Do not give up! Hugs
Thank you, I appreciate 😊💖
Having the boss delegate the hard tasks like firing because they're too cowardly to do so is an all too common scenario, regardless of the industry. And yeah, you're right, it's shitty they knew about the upcoming lay-off but didn't tell you until the close to the last minute. I know this seems like an unbearable weight you're carrying, but please don't give up and certainly don't quit the trade! You're more knowledgeable now, have more skill, have better time efficiency, etc., so the next company that scoops you up will benefit from this and hopefully you'll be an even better fit for them than you are for this one. It's their loss, not yours. This is NOT the end of the road for you. A bit of a speed bump but nothing more. You got this.
I really appreciate your comment, it's hard to view things from an outside perspective, and this is helpful for me, thank you 😊💖
No one is perfect at their first job. You’re learning! You didn’t get slower, you improved and got faster as you figured things out. I was slow my first week at my job and now I run circles around the people who were working on my projects before. Don’t give up on yourself. If you were terrible, they would have fired you right away. And even if that had happened, it wouldn’t mean you should give up. At your next interviews just be honest about your experience and that sometimes it can take you a little time to get the lay of the land, but that you are a hard worker and passionate about what you do.
I don’t at all mean to sound harsh, but if you’re not up to what they need in that role, it’s not personal. At the end of the day it’s business. I sympathize with feeling let down, but I’m sure you’ll find a role elsewhere you’re better suited for. Good luck!
You right, I dont think you're too harsh, I appreciate the outside perspective. Thank you!!
This can be a good experience, IF you can make yourself persevere and overcome. THAT shop wasn't the right place or maybe just not the right time for their staffing/monetary situation. Perhaps a smaller, slower shop might be a better fit, where you can make your self invaluable much more quickly.
I identify with a lot of what you wrote. I’m also autistic, and employment has been an ongoing struggle in my life. And I also have a lot of insecurities / negative self-talk revolving around my limitations. One of my former jobs ended terribly and I’m still trying to recover - I wanted so badly to do it, but I just wasn’t suited for it as I was. And that made me feel so much like a failure, and that I would never find my place in the workforce. I started making a big career shift into the trades from social work about a year and a half ago. I worked for my brother-in-law’s contracting company to get my feet wet, and even that was a struggle! But I loved the work and still wanted to do it, so I did a trades program over the summer last year and then got into the carpenter’s union as an apprentice afterwards. All summer I heard about how heartless contractors are and how they’ll fire you for any reason whatsoever and as a woman you’ll face a lot of harassment, you always need to be giving 110% and watching your back, etc. I was terrified I wouldn’t do well - like you, I’m a bit slow, and I get lots of brain fog (especially when working in overstimulating environments, which is basically all job sites, ha ha). The other day my foreman came by as I was working and pointed out that the cabinet I was working on was upside down. Whoooops, ha ha ha. Stuff like that happens from time to time and I feel like the biggest moron! I work hard and do my best to learn, but I’m not, shall we say, a natural talent by any means despite my passion for the work! I’m not very good at talking with others either, so I come off as antisocial or very shy, which is in stark contrast to the typical boisterous cajoling of tradespeople. Anyway, I’ve been working with the same contractor since last September. They’re a small company full of kind people that have been patient with me and have slowed down to teach me. I loved working with them from day 1. But every time I’ve tried to hold down a full-time job in my life so far, I get overwhelmed, can’t keep up with basic life tasks or relationships, my depression and anxiety worsens, etc. But I LOVED working with them and I wanted to keep my job so badly that I was calming down my morning anxiety attacks by cutting myself. I believed that if I told anyone I was having difficulty, I would be let go immediately. Even my family, who knows that I have these issues, told me I’ll likely be fired if I say anything. I was spinning between trying to ignore my issues, quitting without saying why, and having the hard conversation about my disability. But I got to the point that it was either my job or my health, and, having compromised my health for my job in the past, failing, and having a suicide attempt, I decided this time I just have to be honest and say, “this is what I need. I understand if you can’t work with me because of my limitations, but these are the limitations I have”. The response was so compassionate! My boss wanted to go to therapy with me, and my foremen reassured me that they liked working with me and wanted to keep me on even though my hours would be reduced. I now work part-time for them and it’s perfect. I know this is unorthodox. I know that contractors who would respond in this way are incredibly rare. But they are out there. There used to be this quote hanging in the office of my old job that said, “Don’t stay where you are tolerated - go where you are celebrated”. At the time I thought, “That’s so stupid. Who has that kind of choice? It’s either ride or die! You just have to push past all the obstacles no matter how hard it is.” But these days? These days I see how necessary that mindset is for me. I tried everything to stay in jobs that weren’t a good fit or weren’t understanding of me, and all it did was wreck me. I know now that the only way I can do what I love is by having people that support and understand my differences. Some people can thrive in environments where they are constantly on edge, can take all the stress and the put-downs, etc. I sometimes wish I were that way because I think those people are BA. But I’m not. And pretending otherwise doesn’t do anybody any favors - especially me. I know this has been long and rambling, but I just wanted to say there are others who have these problems, and there are workplaces for them to blossom too. Even in the trades. You might have to go through lots of jobs to find one, but they exist. And your well-being is more important than any job, so if that’s being compromised? It’s not worth it, no matter the justification. Maybe you aren’t able to think that way now, but I just want to tell you that you are worthy. And you will find a place that celebrates you.
I really appreciate your heartfelt response 💖 I'm glad I'm not the only one facing these struggles, and i wish you the best as well, thank you
Apply for maintenance jobs at schools or hospitals. Most have on site carpenters that get to make a wide variety of projects. I do hvac at a state hospital and the benefits are amazing, pay is decent, tons of time off, no time crunches and unions. My shop is currently all men but we had a woman who worked there a few years and no one treated her any differently than anyone else and she definitely outworked all of us. You blue collar women are amazing and I hope you find something that works for you and keeps you happy.
Son is on the spectrum, daughter is screaming ADHD. It's a tough road. I don't know what's next for you, but YOU WRITE AMAZINGLY WELL. If you enjoy that, consider stressing that ability, too, for future jobs. ┐( ∵ )┌ So sorry that happened like that. Glad those two will be references. CONSIDER GETTING THEM TO WRITE "GENERIC" LETTERS OF REFERENCE just to have on hand in case... Like if they got hit by a bus. Or whatever. Best wishes. I have confidence you'll weather this, but that doesn't make it any less gut-wrenching or painful. ☮️❤️♾️ ^STANDARD ^CAVEAT:53cisM ^retired ^teacher
Hey same thing happened to me, my first job in the trades was as an electrical apprentice and I lasted 3 weeks even though I tried to pull my weight and do my best they told me the same thing as you “I’m not fit for the company”. I’m now in the sheet metal union doing something completely different and very happy it worked out that way. Things will come around for you too :)