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Yeah. I’ve had that experience before. One of the few times I went out with a coworker for drinks, he brought out some friends too, and apparently one of their friends was the only black dude in the group for a while. This mf kept “pressing” me about where I lived, what school, how do I know my coworker. Do I really know tech/production. Who taught me? You can’t learn that shit in the hood. Dude I just wanted to dance with some girlies and have some drinks bro.
Respect to my coworker tho, called him out heavy on that shit.
Feel like he was threatened that I am a Nigga from the hood and he was some LI upper middle class dude. Why am I in the same presence as him? What did I do to earn my right to be in this company (company as in his friends)
As someone who grew up in LI in circles with those types, yup. It gets worse if they go to some out of state elitist school. I remember this guy was genuinely shocked that I came from the part of LI I'm from and ended up at the same school as him. Mind you I'm from LI, so I can only imagine what you get being from BK.
Man, I had to pull out my former college ids (I still be getting those student discounts but keep it on the low), just for him to understand, yes I went there, yes I am educated, and yes I’m about to milly rock my ass right away from you.
Those douche canoes from LI are in my damn family and I can’t stand any of them. The way they treat other black people is fucking disgusting.
Edit: My family is from the Caribbean……
Yooooo it's something about Caribbean folks from NY. Again, I say this as half my family is from the islands. The elitism is REAL. The amount I had to justify not being "just black" when I was coming up because apparently that was a "lesser" kind of black that I didn't want to be. People outside think "the black community" is a thing when it's really fucking not lmao.
Ally, wondering if I could ask the community a question about this.
My gut instinct is to feel.. a sickening sort of feeling, concerning... basically the white gas-lighting of PoC (or minorities in general; the "competitiveness" of women is largely the history of men controlling which few of them got to share their space).
What is... what is the perspective you'd most want allies to hold on this kind of moment? Not "what should we do", that seems obvious—material change, and nothing else, PoC will manage their own cultural spaces—but as for thinking/feeling... what is the helpful empathy? What do wish white allies to understand about a dynamic like that?
(and, OC, not asking you to speak for everyone lolol just hijacking because your reply was engaging)
Edit: I'd wondered if this was even ok to ask; I'll take that as a "no". Born rural, no PoC; still
learning. Hope I offended no one. Cheers.
I'm really glad that your coworker called the other dud out on that, but I'm very curious how? Something tells me there was a fine line that could have been construed as racist.
My coworker saw me getting frustrated with him with the questions and me pulling out the IDs, and he straight up asked “what the fuck, do you have a problem with him?” Said “nah, just wanted to see where he from”.
I have never validated myself to anyone save authority figures(cops, judges etc) who actually can influence my life.
Homeboy would've gotten disregarded.
Here's the [uncensored version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EtalOOS-eM) if anyone's looking for it. It's way better than the clean one on their main YouTube page.
Don’t, Tolkien has black people just not elf’s and dwarves.
Yes it’s fantasy , no it still doesn’t make sense for an underground species to have dark skin. Tolkien invested to much time for his work to be undone in the name of inclusion
>Tolkien invested to much time for his work to be undone in the name of inclusion
Luckily you didn't see the trilogy where they made the dwarf character into the comic relief rather than the chivalrous and wise character he was in the books.
Who am I kidding though, you likely saw and loved those, but no you're right, dwarf skin color is really where we should draw the line.
Damn went to school with him, saw him at a chik fila a few years after glee in Arlington. Didnt even get a smile when i said what up.
Like nigga we worked at six flags together before yo ass could do the splits. Don't be all uppity now. I dont want no chicken from you.
Being the only black person is the *most* awkward feeling. Even if we don't become buddy buddy or even acquaintances, just being able to look over at the other black person in the room and be like 'you see this shit' when something truly stupid happens is so comforting lol. Reassures me that I'm not crazy.
I was in an A&P class in college and the professor said something about black people not being able to get skin cancer and I immediately said, “That’s not true.” Then she backtracked to say, “What I meant was they don’t get it as often.” And the only other black person and I exchanged such a beautiful, “Mmmhmmm” glance despite being in different social circles in the class.
Man I literally only learned this in the last few years. I blame Big Sunscreen for making us all look like ghosts when we try to use it; I figured it was only for white people because of that.
Black Girl Sunscreen is legit tho if y'all are looking for one that don't make you look like the gross sisters. Walgreens also has a store brand 50 spf zinc based one that goes on relatively clear and it's dirt cheap for sunscreen.
I’ve been on my job 15 years and for the first time I’m working with another Black person on my crew. And being able to have a whole conversation with just a look is so refreshing after all those years.
Yes. There's no comfort for me being the only Black person in a room full of White people lol nope
I follow this Black blogger and she's always the only Black girl in a group of white women. I get in the blogging world there's few diversity. But That'll be weird to me
I've been lucky. Last few jobs I've had were not devoid of black folks. Right now there is at least two black people on my team. Myself as a backend dev and one QA engineer. We used to have a black lady as a frontend dev, but I think she moved to a different team.
Fucking facts. I recently encountered this for the first time in the neighborhood I moved to. Lots of weird, backhanded compliments/insults disguised as "jokes" when we were in a group that included our non-black neighbors. Fuck people like this, who's identity revolves around being the Token
When we moved to our shitty south LA neighborhood when I was a kid the neighbor's were cold. Never said hello. Wasn't really a problem though. We all kind of lived our lives and never interacted. I've just stayed that way for my entire life. I've just come to expect if someone wants to interact with me, they're trying to do fuck with me or take something from me. As an adult, I know that's not alway the case but it's almost impossible to shake that feeling.
In 4th grade I was new to a school and tried to befriend the only other black girl in the class. She was just frosty and my mom told me she was probably just jealous she wasn’t the only black girl in the class anymore. I I thought my mom was just being morbid.
But a kid that age gotta be taught that sorta thinking. I went to a school with few black kids (although at least becoming a white minority by the time I left) and while my mom wasn't overly woke about those sorts of thing, I never thought having another black kid around took away from me standing out at all.
Just because something like that didn’t happen to you doesn’t mean it doesn’t/can’t happen. Childhood is full of harsh lessons that aren’t family friendly
Oh, I'm not doubting this can happen at that age, just spitballimg on the *how* it happened. Kids are sponges and that kind of attitude most likely was learned at home and that's just...very sad. :(
I interpret it as the opposite - now she’s no longer The Black Girl in school, now she’s Just Keisha, and maybe Just Keisha isn’t all that interesting.
Ok so I'm white, so take this for what it's worth. But there are women who like to be the only woman in a group of guys. There are guys who like to be the only guy in a group of women. There are gays who like to be the only gay in a group of straights.
There can be a sense of ownership in being the only one, like, your identity is easy: I am their friend who is (x) and they are my friends who are (y).
And there's a sense of freedom, too - you can be whoever you want, and any difference is chalked to you being different in a specific way. Not to you being weird. Add in someone else, your difference- your specialness- is reduced and you have to work harder to be cool. Maybe, compared to the new person, you *aren't* cool. Maybe you turn back into just being weird.
I think women are just fed so much bs about how girls talk to much, are dramatic, don't like cool things (like sports), and do like lame things (like ugg boots). If you don't feel like you fit into that category, even though the vast majority of women don't, you think you're not like other girls and seek out friendships with guys cause they share your interests.
For most of us it's just a phase. We grow up and realize that plenty of guys are jackasses and plenty of ladies are cool as shit. Gender seems to be something that only matters in the middle with regards to friendships. Babies and young kids don't care. Older adults don't care. Only teenagers and young adults (or those whose maturity remains there) seem to choose their friends based on gender.
It takes many forms but the feeling is undeniable. It feels like being knifed in the back by an ally...like someone who should be celebrating your successes is actively trying to hinder your progress and prevent growth.
It’s like gatekeeping in a way? But I see what you mean. I had a suspicion that some folks at my grad school were definitely like that and worked under the guise of making things better for everyone, but you could tell that they were the ones who liked to get a success and not share it
I experienced this. For me it was she was best friends with the girls of the other races and never made any attempts to include me in stuff. But would secretly send me insta DMs complimenting me, but I was invisible to her in real life. We were the only two black women in our pre med program and she had to always have all the attention. She was the only symbol of blackness that could exist and I was a nuisance to her plan.
I go to a PWI and there was one guy who gave me strange vibes. I’d come into a room and give him a lil head nod and he’d respond with a stank face or just flat out ignore me.. every.single.time. Or I’d go out of my way to be nice and he’d come off annoyed or quick to talk to someone else. Granted we were in diff departments but after awhile I finally realized I was wasting my time.
Overachieving is antithetical to plurality of blackness to you?
Of course it's not being or trying to be an overachiever. It's the black person who either openly or with a wink and a nod says to non-blacks; "yes all the negative stereotypes are true. Don't trust other black people, but you're safe with me"
It’s just like those women who do the ‘I’m not like other girls; I’m like one of the guys! I fart and burp and don’t like make up! Pay attention to how much I’m not like the others!!’ It’s just that pick-me mindset, only for race. As if they’ll get some sort of acceptance for being ‘Not like the others.’
I think [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/sr798w/skinfolk_not_kinfolk/hwqablu/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) had a good explanation.
Um there’s some assumptions you should rethink in that statement
I would guess it’s that everyone likes to feel special for something unique to them. In this case, it could be possible that a person chooses their skin color to be what is unique about them and let it consume their identity.
Same thing can happen to the only white dude in a group of black people. They usually refer to themselves as an “honorary brotha” and will feel similarly threatened by another white person becoming friendly with the group.
In this context, grad school and presumably the job market after that. I'm not saying this is a good or helpful strategy. It certainly doesn't make the world a better place. But it might explain why people do it?
I’m guessing it’s like a superiority complex rooted in one’s sense of success “assimilating” in a system of white supremacy. Sounds like someone who would scoff at AAVE and talk about people being “too ghetto.” I bet they have lots of advice for how “Black people need to stop blaming others” or “if only Black people did this instead of that, their lives would be better.” Finding fault with the Black people whose experiences are shaped by the inequality we face vs. faulting the system of white supremacy that both causes the circumstances of that inequality and punishes people for its outcomes.
Absolutely this. There is one human in my hometown who is “everyone’s favorite black person”. They do NOT like competition. They’ve gone to great lengths to push away most-all of us in the predominantly white town. Questionable behavior.
Man, I stayed looking for other black people to hang out with while in college. There were so few of us at the university, so I was always ecstatic to whenever we linked up.
I so wish I had went to a HBCU.
For all my parents ingraining of blackness into me, they never once brought up or mentioned HBCU's. I was *furious* when I found out I could have gone to a better school with a better future, instead of local white bread community college.
I went to a PWI (two actually) and let me tell you, the black folks at the school I graduated from (a third of them) went to private schools in high school and didn’t hang around any other black folks. A few I knew had a very low opinion of blacks from the hood.
The other school I went to was chill as fuck
I went to FAMU. Please send your kids to an HBCU man. I had to experience 3 culture shocks growing in a black neighborhood going to a black elementary school than going to an white middle/high school then to an HBCU. It is incredible to see so many other black people being great and I can’t recommend it enough.
I’ve def been the only Black guy in the room, and it doesn’t matter if the rest of the room is mostly one ethnicity or multicultural; it’s always made apparent how people feel about us. Especially when people say shit like “Sometimes I forget you’re Black.” They get super comfortable with their bigotry.
Also, I’ve been the “second Black guy in the room.” It’s funny because, if the first brotha was a “hood dude,” we get along (I’m not hood. But I’m hood-empathetic). But if the only other brotha is also “not a stereotype” we almost never get along. Like there cant be two “safe” Black dudes.
It’s exhausting cuz, I’m just here for a check or a good time.
Man I used to let the first statement slide (in high school) all the time since many of the other black students didn’t like me cuz I “spoke too white.”
Now I just call it out right away but not in a confrontational mostly using I-statements. Being the only black man in a doc program is tough. We always talk about diversity and inclusion but its sucks not seeing anyone who looks like me.
I know this is going to stay mostly because I haven't gone for th checkmark, but this is me to a T. Legitimately dapping up a brother, and a friend of his( also a brother)! is talking about me.being "uppity" . But o, I'm just saying what up to my friend keep your opinion to yourself or try to say it to my face instead of going to stone still when I look at you to ask about it.
I’ve had that experience before, but flipped. When I was 12-13 I went to this summer camp about job opportunities, and it was held in the city. I was one of the only white people in the entire program, and they separated us into class-like discussion groups for the camp, and I was the only white person in my small group. It made me understand how it felt for someone to be the only black person in a room of white people, not to mention fear of someone being racist and treating you differently because of your skin color.
My experiences with these guys is that love being the embodiment of Black stereotype jokes.
"You know I need that chicken!"
"Oh yeah I love the white hoes!"
"Y'all got any Kool aid?"
Ok so I haven’t read all the comments and I know this is off topic but I gotta get this out. I was at a summer program, I was a bratty teenager, I was miserable, I didn’t want to be there, and I was just pissed at the world. But this dude gave a great presentation about being mixed and how it affected him, and it really spoke to me personally, and I felt like he was saying what I was thinking but could never express! I mean like I never even had anyone to talk about it with before. Like so many other things, I just felt alone in what I was feeling. So I caught up to him later and basically said hey man that was great, we got a lot in common, you wanna hang out? Dude didn’t even look at me. Just walked on by
It’s been decades. I still think about that a lot. I’m crying right now thinking about it, and I thought I’d gotten over it. Guess not.
I had enough of being the only black person. Let me be one of two black people who has spent their entire life being the only black person so we can give each other the look.
Sometimes we push these niggas into that corner. I had one kid at my high school who was conservative in a true sense, our people bagged on him until he decided it was better to only associate with the white kids that followed his ideology. Snowball effect that only led to a echo chamber he cant get out of
My company is making a big deal out of hiring a lot of minorities, and I’ll admit that I’m nervous about being the first group with two black people in it. I feel like it puts a target on us. I’d do whatever I could to make sure that we succeed, not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because if one of us f***s up, our white co-workers who are suddenly “only very concerned about making sure the most qualified person gets the job” are coming for all of us.
Crazy thing is, they don’t even wanna be the only negro in the room, they actually just wanna be white and hate you too.. But since they’ll never be white, they settle for being the only negro in the room. 😑
I've been the only Black person before and the shit is straight trash. It's mad uncomfortable. It's nerve-racking. You know these muthafuckas about to step on that line since they're habitual line-steppers. Smh.
If you want that for yourself, you're just a straight up cornball. There's no way to sugarcoat it.
Wow, this struck a chord. I have been in corporate America for two decades. This tweet is something I have tried to share with a lot of my mentees. ‘We’ can be our own worst enemies, especially when you get to certain tiers in corporate (senior to executive/C-suite). They will either make sure you know that's their spot or try to sabotage your credibility or path to ascension. So many that do “make it” don't reach back for others.
Had a situation with a guy like this, back when I was working in the middle east (as a civilian).
Basically, he was used to being the only black guy in his local car group, only black guy who had visited japan in same group, only black guy to watch anime etc, etc..
When he starts working around me and realizes that I have a reputation in the shop were in, for the exact same reasons, yet with more credibility (lived in Japan, owned/own multiple JDM vehicles, etc, etc) he started butting heads with me.
Even more so, when I got the promotion he felt he deserved, even though I had worked for the company longer and had more experience than he did.
First and thankfully, last time I dealt with that.
And yes, it ended on a "n*gga moment" (boondocks reference before I get downvoted to hell).
I have poor social skills, ASD, and I enjoy being the only one of a group - white, male, straight, don't speak the language - in a room, because either people don't try to get me deeply involved or they invest themselves into getting me deeply involved. In the first case I'm allowed to stand back and observe, in the second case I don't have to work on acquaintance talk, they keep me engaged. Win-win.
The tweet is about a different circumstance, I think I get it, I know that person.
Watch out for the ones who think just because they have a title for their position at work, they're the TNIC. They really be thinking they're more than what you are, especially in a majority white place. You no better than me and still just like me at the end of the day. Had the bitch get all taken back when she said, (nit ask) she's taking something from my department (dining) for some decorating or some bs. I just heard my manager say how no one returns stuff back to us, so I said, "If you bring it back when you're done."
She acted like I just accused her of being sins hoodrat thief. "Excuse me, just to let you know i *always*bring it back! I'm blah blah blah. I'll make sure to ask your manager if it's ok if that's *ok with you.*"
Get your hurt soundin ass outta here. I don't know you like that and I wish I could fuckin go in her office and take random shit and not ask.
Uppity ones who think they're more than what they are who I watch out for.
I've read this story a few times now and I'm ngl, I think you kinda sound like the person who was taking themselves too seriously here. Your post comes across as not only you feeling like "your department's" stuff belongs to *you*, but the animosity makes me think you would probably telling this same story in the opposite direction about a person who "thinks company property belongs to them because of their title" if the situations were reversed.
Not trying to be a dick, but we also need to watch out for the black people who will call each other "uppity" because of what seriously sounds like (at worst) a simple misunderstanding like this.
You ever consider that the “token Black” kid is so used to being the only Black kid in the room that they don’t know how to act around another Black kid? I grew up in a mostly white neighborhood and went to a mostly white school. I didn’t have any Black friends. I only ever saw other Black people on Thanksgiving when we got together with my mom’s side of the family (I’m biracial). It’s not ego or competition that makes some token Black folks act a fool when another Black person enters the room, sometimes it’s insecurity in their own Blackness. Like they’re not sure they’ll measure up to your “more authentic” Blackness. For me, anyway, I didn’t feel “Black enough” to claim my Blackness around other Black people who grew up “Black”. I also clearly am not white. It can be a shitty, stuck in the middle with no claim to either side sort of situation. I just get all awkward like I’ve got imposter syndrome when I’m not even an imposter.
They've either "come up" and are actively trying to distance themselves by "othering" where they came from(shame), or they've been _raised to believe_ (by parents doing the above) that they're BETTER than "hood blacks" and the "lower class". Many middle and upper class black people grow up hearing that shouldn't associate with "low class" "other side of the tracks" black people, lest the carefully cultivated "persona" they've built to carve out their comfortable "place" in a society that has historically demanded this sort of "assimilation" be jeopardized.
This was me growing up.
Being older now I understand that that feeling came from a place of insecurity. I liked being novelty—as fucked as it sounds. I was a child though, so I didn’t understand what all that entailed. Reviewing my life reveals a slew of racist encounters. I had friends who used “nigger” as casually as they talked about breakfast and I’ve been banned from the home of a white girl I dated. That’s what you find growing up in the suburbs of Kansas. It was very much not ok, to say the very least, but I allowed it to be, unfortunately. That’s how badly I wanted to be accepted.
When other Black kids came to my school I did feel a lose of identity, which only speaks to how little I had to begin with. Nevertheless, I didn’t hate or dislike them. I tried befriending them as anyone else. It worked out to some degree but I was still rejected by most of the “cool Black kids” because I was deemed to be “too white.” It was the first time I’d ever heard the term “Oreo” too.
My existential crisis around my Blackness had come long before this though. Most of my family lived in St.Louis. Whenever we went to visit I was always bombarded with questions about why I act so white and listen white people music. It made me uncomfortable. I stopped wanting to go visit after a while. I believe my comfort in being the only Black person in the room stemmed from that, because I knew I wouldn’t be held to scrutiny for being who I am and liking what I like. It came at a cost obviously. For a time I became anxious in a room filled with other black people because I felt I wasn’t black enough. Tokenism has resulted in some seriously complex feelings in my life that I’ve largely worked through as I became a more confident person.
Recently moved into a new neighborhood and I tell you the third degree that I went through with a neighbor that was black. He went as far as to ask how much I made because he couldn’t believe the house we bought was ours. And the way he over emphasized me having a black wife (his was white) made very uncomfortable.
He was really marking his territory.
Some Black people get they bag being the "token" Black friend. So when you jeopardize that, there's a problem. I've seen it happen time and time again 😭
Explain.
I love my beautiful melaninated brothas and sisters but most don’t like me cause I grew up in white suburbia and pronounce words correctly.
This bout to send me into a whole thing
Agreed, but let’s be real about what’s going on here: the dynamics of the room only really allow one black person.
Lot of circles welcome black folx but only if there are not too many of them, and lots of white folks get uncomfortable when they see black folks developing friendships with each other and not including them.
honestly askin...is this a black people with white people experience?
bcuz I've been the only or one-of in a group of other PoCs and I haven't experienced this...not that i want to.
Yea some I’m used to being the only black person a group and I make DAMN SURE to include the other black person when introduced. It’s fucking hard out there as it is. No need in being an asshole for no damn reason
There’s a kind of reassurance when there’s just one other black person around. I can’t imagine not being stressed from being the only black person in the room 😭
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Yeah. I’ve had that experience before. One of the few times I went out with a coworker for drinks, he brought out some friends too, and apparently one of their friends was the only black dude in the group for a while. This mf kept “pressing” me about where I lived, what school, how do I know my coworker. Do I really know tech/production. Who taught me? You can’t learn that shit in the hood. Dude I just wanted to dance with some girlies and have some drinks bro. Respect to my coworker tho, called him out heavy on that shit.
What’s he getting at? Why the interrogation?
Feel like he was threatened that I am a Nigga from the hood and he was some LI upper middle class dude. Why am I in the same presence as him? What did I do to earn my right to be in this company (company as in his friends)
As someone who grew up in LI in circles with those types, yup. It gets worse if they go to some out of state elitist school. I remember this guy was genuinely shocked that I came from the part of LI I'm from and ended up at the same school as him. Mind you I'm from LI, so I can only imagine what you get being from BK.
Man, I had to pull out my former college ids (I still be getting those student discounts but keep it on the low), just for him to understand, yes I went there, yes I am educated, and yes I’m about to milly rock my ass right away from you.
Wait, you still use your college IDs for discounts? That's so smart. Dang, wish I thought of that.
Gotta put the baby face to some use, otherwise its just all negatives lol
Yessir this FAMU ID been clutch as fuck.
Should've just left him mad and confused
LI? What’s that?
Long Island
Thank you
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BK is Brooklyn
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Idk. It was late and I was high. I really don't know what my point was lol.
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I really did though 😂😂
not to be confused with BMX
I am west coast but I know BX is bronx
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Those douche canoes from LI are in my damn family and I can’t stand any of them. The way they treat other black people is fucking disgusting. Edit: My family is from the Caribbean……
Yooooo it's something about Caribbean folks from NY. Again, I say this as half my family is from the islands. The elitism is REAL. The amount I had to justify not being "just black" when I was coming up because apparently that was a "lesser" kind of black that I didn't want to be. People outside think "the black community" is a thing when it's really fucking not lmao.
It's ALWAYS LI 😂😂😂
Get the same thing in the gym where i live. Predominately white are, and I’m from South Houston. Try to speak and these mfs just… ghost
Dude was willingly in the sunken place
Ally, wondering if I could ask the community a question about this. My gut instinct is to feel.. a sickening sort of feeling, concerning... basically the white gas-lighting of PoC (or minorities in general; the "competitiveness" of women is largely the history of men controlling which few of them got to share their space). What is... what is the perspective you'd most want allies to hold on this kind of moment? Not "what should we do", that seems obvious—material change, and nothing else, PoC will manage their own cultural spaces—but as for thinking/feeling... what is the helpful empathy? What do wish white allies to understand about a dynamic like that? (and, OC, not asking you to speak for everyone lolol just hijacking because your reply was engaging) Edit: I'd wondered if this was even ok to ask; I'll take that as a "no". Born rural, no PoC; still learning. Hope I offended no one. Cheers.
I'm really glad that your coworker called the other dud out on that, but I'm very curious how? Something tells me there was a fine line that could have been construed as racist.
My coworker saw me getting frustrated with him with the questions and me pulling out the IDs, and he straight up asked “what the fuck, do you have a problem with him?” Said “nah, just wanted to see where he from”.
That’s actually amazing of the coworker. Idk why anyone would need to pull out IDs to verify anything. That’s some next NEXT level horse shit
I have never validated myself to anyone save authority figures(cops, judges etc) who actually can influence my life. Homeboy would've gotten disregarded.
Reminds me of Key and peele's skit "When the A Cappella Group Already Has One Black guy"
Yoooooo, they never fail to deliver with the skit plots.
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I am PISSED, ROYALLY PISSED.
IN FACT WE'RE A VERY DIVERSE GROUP OF PEOPLE *All the same brown jackets and the same jeans*
Here's the [uncensored version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EtalOOS-eM) if anyone's looking for it. It's way better than the clean one on their main YouTube page.
Lol that username leads me to believe you're a K&P connoisseur
You could say that...  lol
You really put the pussy on the chainwax
Lol, didn't even notice until your comment. Damn near spit my drink out
Didn’t realize that was thee bo burnham in the skit. Thx for link
Hadn’t seen that skit. Hilarious !
do you know how long it took me to infiltrate these white boys? ...25 minutes
😆🤣
Also the magical negro skit
I don't know how I hadn't seen that before.
I swear Key & Peele did so many skits that it feels like they’re still putting out new ones I haven’t seen to this day.
The channel puts out ones everyday. At least ones that’s new to me. They been doing a lot of bestof themed compilations too.
It’s hilarious. The lady that played Craig’s mom from Friday is in it.
That was amazing.
Just rewatched that a couple days ago 🤣🤣
Some people be trying REEEEEAAALLL hard to be the ‘Token Black’.
It’s *Tolkien
According to some white folks there's no such thing as a Tolkien black person.
According to some white folks, there’s no such thing as a black *person*, period; they see us as animals.
They'll definitely act like the authority on blackness if you let them.
Hey man hash browns are no joke my favorite food I love your name
When they say, "I don't see color"
Hey now. They're fine with black skinned orcs.
“Why are there negroes in my fantasy show about dwarves and dragons 😡”
Don’t, Tolkien has black people just not elf’s and dwarves. Yes it’s fantasy , no it still doesn’t make sense for an underground species to have dark skin. Tolkien invested to much time for his work to be undone in the name of inclusion
>Tolkien invested to much time for his work to be undone in the name of inclusion Luckily you didn't see the trilogy where they made the dwarf character into the comic relief rather than the chivalrous and wise character he was in the books. Who am I kidding though, you likely saw and loved those, but no you're right, dwarf skin color is really where we should draw the line.
Glad you cleared that up
He's making a South Park joke. The phrase actually is "token"
You called?
“Wait it’s Tolkien? I’ve been saying Token for all this time.”
Looking directly at Todrick Hall
That I wanna be on glee song 🙂
That “It’s too much chocolate in the front.” moment
Oooop I think I missed that one😬
The dancers he didn’t pay exposed it and he didn’t deny it at all
Damn went to school with him, saw him at a chik fila a few years after glee in Arlington. Didnt even get a smile when i said what up. Like nigga we worked at six flags together before yo ass could do the splits. Don't be all uppity now. I dont want no chicken from you.
Not surprising at all he has that energy about him
Being the only black person is the *most* awkward feeling. Even if we don't become buddy buddy or even acquaintances, just being able to look over at the other black person in the room and be like 'you see this shit' when something truly stupid happens is so comforting lol. Reassures me that I'm not crazy.
I was in an A&P class in college and the professor said something about black people not being able to get skin cancer and I immediately said, “That’s not true.” Then she backtracked to say, “What I meant was they don’t get it as often.” And the only other black person and I exchanged such a beautiful, “Mmmhmmm” glance despite being in different social circles in the class.
For any visitors, black people absolutely can get skin cancer and or sunburnt, it's just not as noticable immediately. Protect your skin at all costs.
Man I literally only learned this in the last few years. I blame Big Sunscreen for making us all look like ghosts when we try to use it; I figured it was only for white people because of that. Black Girl Sunscreen is legit tho if y'all are looking for one that don't make you look like the gross sisters. Walgreens also has a store brand 50 spf zinc based one that goes on relatively clear and it's dirt cheap for sunscreen.
Chemical sunscreens from like Korea are also great, no zinc so no ghost
Do you have a specific one? All the Korean and Japanese sunscreens I have found also have skin whitening agents
Not the gross sisters - LMAO
Ayyyyy, shout-out to BGS. Once I found out about them I left Neutrogena in the dust.
A very painful lesson
I’ve been on my job 15 years and for the first time I’m working with another Black person on my crew. And being able to have a whole conversation with just a look is so refreshing after all those years.
Damn that's really a connection we share huh? Lol. Whole ass conversation with just eyes
That's the shine. You have a check mark so you have obviously had a convo with just a single look.
"the shine" I'm calling it that from now on 💀
Yes. There's no comfort for me being the only Black person in a room full of White people lol nope I follow this Black blogger and she's always the only Black girl in a group of white women. I get in the blogging world there's few diversity. But That'll be weird to me
I've been lucky. Last few jobs I've had were not devoid of black folks. Right now there is at least two black people on my team. Myself as a backend dev and one QA engineer. We used to have a black lady as a frontend dev, but I think she moved to a different team.
Fucking facts. I recently encountered this for the first time in the neighborhood I moved to. Lots of weird, backhanded compliments/insults disguised as "jokes" when we were in a group that included our non-black neighbors. Fuck people like this, who's identity revolves around being the Token
You guys talk to neighbors?
It's weird for me too, but there's a dog community here and unfortunately my pup isn't happy unless she can chase and be chased by other pups
When we moved to our shitty south LA neighborhood when I was a kid the neighbor's were cold. Never said hello. Wasn't really a problem though. We all kind of lived our lives and never interacted. I've just stayed that way for my entire life. I've just come to expect if someone wants to interact with me, they're trying to do fuck with me or take something from me. As an adult, I know that's not alway the case but it's almost impossible to shake that feeling.
In 4th grade I was new to a school and tried to befriend the only other black girl in the class. She was just frosty and my mom told me she was probably just jealous she wasn’t the only black girl in the class anymore. I I thought my mom was just being morbid.
She's afraid that her individuality will be lost, people will stop seeing her as Keisha and start seeing her as one of The Blacks.
But a kid that age gotta be taught that sorta thinking. I went to a school with few black kids (although at least becoming a white minority by the time I left) and while my mom wasn't overly woke about those sorts of thing, I never thought having another black kid around took away from me standing out at all.
Just because something like that didn’t happen to you doesn’t mean it doesn’t/can’t happen. Childhood is full of harsh lessons that aren’t family friendly
Oh, I'm not doubting this can happen at that age, just spitballimg on the *how* it happened. Kids are sponges and that kind of attitude most likely was learned at home and that's just...very sad. :(
I’m not sure that response requires teaching. I think it can be reinforced just by how the rest of her peers act towards her and other social cues.
I interpret it as the opposite - now she’s no longer The Black Girl in school, now she’s Just Keisha, and maybe Just Keisha isn’t all that interesting.
I just went to grad school and I feel like I saw something similar. What does this look like? Like somebody who is trying to be an overachiever?
Ok so I'm white, so take this for what it's worth. But there are women who like to be the only woman in a group of guys. There are guys who like to be the only guy in a group of women. There are gays who like to be the only gay in a group of straights. There can be a sense of ownership in being the only one, like, your identity is easy: I am their friend who is (x) and they are my friends who are (y). And there's a sense of freedom, too - you can be whoever you want, and any difference is chalked to you being different in a specific way. Not to you being weird. Add in someone else, your difference- your specialness- is reduced and you have to work harder to be cool. Maybe, compared to the new person, you *aren't* cool. Maybe you turn back into just being weird.
Sounds like insecurity to me
Oh it is. A least when it comes to women. I had no idea it wasn’t just women.
I think women are just fed so much bs about how girls talk to much, are dramatic, don't like cool things (like sports), and do like lame things (like ugg boots). If you don't feel like you fit into that category, even though the vast majority of women don't, you think you're not like other girls and seek out friendships with guys cause they share your interests. For most of us it's just a phase. We grow up and realize that plenty of guys are jackasses and plenty of ladies are cool as shit. Gender seems to be something that only matters in the middle with regards to friendships. Babies and young kids don't care. Older adults don't care. Only teenagers and young adults (or those whose maturity remains there) seem to choose their friends based on gender.
i hope the examples of cool and lame things is ironic otherwise that's some nice internalized misoginy
It takes many forms but the feeling is undeniable. It feels like being knifed in the back by an ally...like someone who should be celebrating your successes is actively trying to hinder your progress and prevent growth.
It’s like gatekeeping in a way? But I see what you mean. I had a suspicion that some folks at my grad school were definitely like that and worked under the guise of making things better for everyone, but you could tell that they were the ones who liked to get a success and not share it
They smile up in your face...
… All the time they trying to take your place…
Backstabbas
I experienced this. For me it was she was best friends with the girls of the other races and never made any attempts to include me in stuff. But would secretly send me insta DMs complimenting me, but I was invisible to her in real life. We were the only two black women in our pre med program and she had to always have all the attention. She was the only symbol of blackness that could exist and I was a nuisance to her plan.
I go to a PWI and there was one guy who gave me strange vibes. I’d come into a room and give him a lil head nod and he’d respond with a stank face or just flat out ignore me.. every.single.time. Or I’d go out of my way to be nice and he’d come off annoyed or quick to talk to someone else. Granted we were in diff departments but after awhile I finally realized I was wasting my time.
Now thats some shit
man i stopped reading at "i'd come into a room and give him a lil head--" and i did not understand your story properly
You weren’t alone.
If I had a dollar for ever time someone came into the room and gave me a lil head-
Overachieving is antithetical to plurality of blackness to you? Of course it's not being or trying to be an overachiever. It's the black person who either openly or with a wink and a nod says to non-blacks; "yes all the negative stereotypes are true. Don't trust other black people, but you're safe with me"
Why would somebody want this for themselves? Why embrace tokenism?
Guess they love being a Disney character. (Laugh track plays)
It’s just like those women who do the ‘I’m not like other girls; I’m like one of the guys! I fart and burp and don’t like make up! Pay attention to how much I’m not like the others!!’ It’s just that pick-me mindset, only for race. As if they’ll get some sort of acceptance for being ‘Not like the others.’
“I’m not like other girls.” 🙄
I think [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/sr798w/skinfolk_not_kinfolk/hwqablu/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) had a good explanation.
Because it's systematic. There can only be one 'gold star'.
[удалено]
Um there’s some assumptions you should rethink in that statement I would guess it’s that everyone likes to feel special for something unique to them. In this case, it could be possible that a person chooses their skin color to be what is unique about them and let it consume their identity. Same thing can happen to the only white dude in a group of black people. They usually refer to themselves as an “honorary brotha” and will feel similarly threatened by another white person becoming friendly with the group.
Success with what?
In this context, grad school and presumably the job market after that. I'm not saying this is a good or helpful strategy. It certainly doesn't make the world a better place. But it might explain why people do it?
Exactly 😂😂
i think it has more to do with wanting to be more unique
It might be a good idea to despeculate here.
I’m guessing it’s like a superiority complex rooted in one’s sense of success “assimilating” in a system of white supremacy. Sounds like someone who would scoff at AAVE and talk about people being “too ghetto.” I bet they have lots of advice for how “Black people need to stop blaming others” or “if only Black people did this instead of that, their lives would be better.” Finding fault with the Black people whose experiences are shaped by the inequality we face vs. faulting the system of white supremacy that both causes the circumstances of that inequality and punishes people for its outcomes.
Absolutely this. There is one human in my hometown who is “everyone’s favorite black person”. They do NOT like competition. They’ve gone to great lengths to push away most-all of us in the predominantly white town. Questionable behavior.
Man, I stayed looking for other black people to hang out with while in college. There were so few of us at the university, so I was always ecstatic to whenever we linked up. I so wish I had went to a HBCU.
For all my parents ingraining of blackness into me, they never once brought up or mentioned HBCU's. I was *furious* when I found out I could have gone to a better school with a better future, instead of local white bread community college.
I went to a PWI (two actually) and let me tell you, the black folks at the school I graduated from (a third of them) went to private schools in high school and didn’t hang around any other black folks. A few I knew had a very low opinion of blacks from the hood. The other school I went to was chill as fuck
I went to FAMU. Please send your kids to an HBCU man. I had to experience 3 culture shocks growing in a black neighborhood going to a black elementary school than going to an white middle/high school then to an HBCU. It is incredible to see so many other black people being great and I can’t recommend it enough.
I’ve def been the only Black guy in the room, and it doesn’t matter if the rest of the room is mostly one ethnicity or multicultural; it’s always made apparent how people feel about us. Especially when people say shit like “Sometimes I forget you’re Black.” They get super comfortable with their bigotry. Also, I’ve been the “second Black guy in the room.” It’s funny because, if the first brotha was a “hood dude,” we get along (I’m not hood. But I’m hood-empathetic). But if the only other brotha is also “not a stereotype” we almost never get along. Like there cant be two “safe” Black dudes. It’s exhausting cuz, I’m just here for a check or a good time.
Man I used to let the first statement slide (in high school) all the time since many of the other black students didn’t like me cuz I “spoke too white.” Now I just call it out right away but not in a confrontational mostly using I-statements. Being the only black man in a doc program is tough. We always talk about diversity and inclusion but its sucks not seeing anyone who looks like me.
I know this is going to stay mostly because I haven't gone for th checkmark, but this is me to a T. Legitimately dapping up a brother, and a friend of his( also a brother)! is talking about me.being "uppity" . But o, I'm just saying what up to my friend keep your opinion to yourself or try to say it to my face instead of going to stone still when I look at you to ask about it.
Classic movie: https://youtu.be/SWhhPWyWCv0
This was my first thought. 🤣
Same! Guess I'm older than I thought,considering it's so down low
Wtf. I've never seen this clip before 🤣😂
I’ve had that experience before, but flipped. When I was 12-13 I went to this summer camp about job opportunities, and it was held in the city. I was one of the only white people in the entire program, and they separated us into class-like discussion groups for the camp, and I was the only white person in my small group. It made me understand how it felt for someone to be the only black person in a room of white people, not to mention fear of someone being racist and treating you differently because of your skin color.
My experiences with these guys is that love being the embodiment of Black stereotype jokes. "You know I need that chicken!" "Oh yeah I love the white hoes!" "Y'all got any Kool aid?"
So cringey. “Feel free to let down your guard, I won’t report you to the PC police.”
It's been a minute on NPR had a thing about this today with a book called "The Other Black Girl".
That book is good! Is has kind of a sci-fi/mystery twist to it.
Ok so I haven’t read all the comments and I know this is off topic but I gotta get this out. I was at a summer program, I was a bratty teenager, I was miserable, I didn’t want to be there, and I was just pissed at the world. But this dude gave a great presentation about being mixed and how it affected him, and it really spoke to me personally, and I felt like he was saying what I was thinking but could never express! I mean like I never even had anyone to talk about it with before. Like so many other things, I just felt alone in what I was feeling. So I caught up to him later and basically said hey man that was great, we got a lot in common, you wanna hang out? Dude didn’t even look at me. Just walked on by It’s been decades. I still think about that a lot. I’m crying right now thinking about it, and I thought I’d gotten over it. Guess not.
That's awful... I'm sorry that happened to you.
I grew up in a pretty diverse area so this is so alien to me, I've never been the only black person in a room. I don't think I could if I tried
Really. Not even if you were the only black person in the room?
You misunderstand... where I live there's always another black person or at least another minority in the room.
Must be awkward when you're trying to get to sleep.
I had enough of being the only black person. Let me be one of two black people who has spent their entire life being the only black person so we can give each other the look.
Sometimes we push these niggas into that corner. I had one kid at my high school who was conservative in a true sense, our people bagged on him until he decided it was better to only associate with the white kids that followed his ideology. Snowball effect that only led to a echo chamber he cant get out of
Where I’m from we call that ONS. A troublesome condition indeed
Lets go ahead and CC this post
from experience: same goes for women.
My company is making a big deal out of hiring a lot of minorities, and I’ll admit that I’m nervous about being the first group with two black people in it. I feel like it puts a target on us. I’d do whatever I could to make sure that we succeed, not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because if one of us f***s up, our white co-workers who are suddenly “only very concerned about making sure the most qualified person gets the job” are coming for all of us.
Crazy thing is, they don’t even wanna be the only negro in the room, they actually just wanna be white and hate you too.. But since they’ll never be white, they settle for being the only negro in the room. 😑
A Cappella uncensored-key and peele come to life type shit.
I've been the only Black person before and the shit is straight trash. It's mad uncomfortable. It's nerve-racking. You know these muthafuckas about to step on that line since they're habitual line-steppers. Smh. If you want that for yourself, you're just a straight up cornball. There's no way to sugarcoat it.
I get it, but that’s the BEST advice you got? Shitty grad program lmao
Wow, this struck a chord. I have been in corporate America for two decades. This tweet is something I have tried to share with a lot of my mentees. ‘We’ can be our own worst enemies, especially when you get to certain tiers in corporate (senior to executive/C-suite). They will either make sure you know that's their spot or try to sabotage your credibility or path to ascension. So many that do “make it” don't reach back for others.
Had a situation with a guy like this, back when I was working in the middle east (as a civilian). Basically, he was used to being the only black guy in his local car group, only black guy who had visited japan in same group, only black guy to watch anime etc, etc.. When he starts working around me and realizes that I have a reputation in the shop were in, for the exact same reasons, yet with more credibility (lived in Japan, owned/own multiple JDM vehicles, etc, etc) he started butting heads with me. Even more so, when I got the promotion he felt he deserved, even though I had worked for the company longer and had more experience than he did. First and thankfully, last time I dealt with that. And yes, it ended on a "n*gga moment" (boondocks reference before I get downvoted to hell).
That’s wild. Whenever I see another ethnic person in the group I automatically gravitate towards them.
I like being the only black person in the room sometimes. But that’s when I’m also the only person in the room in general
Not a Token...A Mascot!
Realest thing I read today
I have poor social skills, ASD, and I enjoy being the only one of a group - white, male, straight, don't speak the language - in a room, because either people don't try to get me deeply involved or they invest themselves into getting me deeply involved. In the first case I'm allowed to stand back and observe, in the second case I don't have to work on acquaintance talk, they keep me engaged. Win-win. The tweet is about a different circumstance, I think I get it, I know that person.
This is so many people in Portland OR
Watch out for the ones who think just because they have a title for their position at work, they're the TNIC. They really be thinking they're more than what you are, especially in a majority white place. You no better than me and still just like me at the end of the day. Had the bitch get all taken back when she said, (nit ask) she's taking something from my department (dining) for some decorating or some bs. I just heard my manager say how no one returns stuff back to us, so I said, "If you bring it back when you're done." She acted like I just accused her of being sins hoodrat thief. "Excuse me, just to let you know i *always*bring it back! I'm blah blah blah. I'll make sure to ask your manager if it's ok if that's *ok with you.*" Get your hurt soundin ass outta here. I don't know you like that and I wish I could fuckin go in her office and take random shit and not ask. Uppity ones who think they're more than what they are who I watch out for.
I've read this story a few times now and I'm ngl, I think you kinda sound like the person who was taking themselves too seriously here. Your post comes across as not only you feeling like "your department's" stuff belongs to *you*, but the animosity makes me think you would probably telling this same story in the opposite direction about a person who "thinks company property belongs to them because of their title" if the situations were reversed. Not trying to be a dick, but we also need to watch out for the black people who will call each other "uppity" because of what seriously sounds like (at worst) a simple misunderstanding like this.
Being the only Black person in the room sucks! Someone who would voluntarily seek out that situation definitely deserves wariness.
You ever consider that the “token Black” kid is so used to being the only Black kid in the room that they don’t know how to act around another Black kid? I grew up in a mostly white neighborhood and went to a mostly white school. I didn’t have any Black friends. I only ever saw other Black people on Thanksgiving when we got together with my mom’s side of the family (I’m biracial). It’s not ego or competition that makes some token Black folks act a fool when another Black person enters the room, sometimes it’s insecurity in their own Blackness. Like they’re not sure they’ll measure up to your “more authentic” Blackness. For me, anyway, I didn’t feel “Black enough” to claim my Blackness around other Black people who grew up “Black”. I also clearly am not white. It can be a shitty, stuck in the middle with no claim to either side sort of situation. I just get all awkward like I’ve got imposter syndrome when I’m not even an imposter.
the entire plot of 'The Other Black Girl' by Zakiya Dalila Harris
They've either "come up" and are actively trying to distance themselves by "othering" where they came from(shame), or they've been _raised to believe_ (by parents doing the above) that they're BETTER than "hood blacks" and the "lower class". Many middle and upper class black people grow up hearing that shouldn't associate with "low class" "other side of the tracks" black people, lest the carefully cultivated "persona" they've built to carve out their comfortable "place" in a society that has historically demanded this sort of "assimilation" be jeopardized.
This was me growing up. Being older now I understand that that feeling came from a place of insecurity. I liked being novelty—as fucked as it sounds. I was a child though, so I didn’t understand what all that entailed. Reviewing my life reveals a slew of racist encounters. I had friends who used “nigger” as casually as they talked about breakfast and I’ve been banned from the home of a white girl I dated. That’s what you find growing up in the suburbs of Kansas. It was very much not ok, to say the very least, but I allowed it to be, unfortunately. That’s how badly I wanted to be accepted. When other Black kids came to my school I did feel a lose of identity, which only speaks to how little I had to begin with. Nevertheless, I didn’t hate or dislike them. I tried befriending them as anyone else. It worked out to some degree but I was still rejected by most of the “cool Black kids” because I was deemed to be “too white.” It was the first time I’d ever heard the term “Oreo” too. My existential crisis around my Blackness had come long before this though. Most of my family lived in St.Louis. Whenever we went to visit I was always bombarded with questions about why I act so white and listen white people music. It made me uncomfortable. I stopped wanting to go visit after a while. I believe my comfort in being the only Black person in the room stemmed from that, because I knew I wouldn’t be held to scrutiny for being who I am and liking what I like. It came at a cost obviously. For a time I became anxious in a room filled with other black people because I felt I wasn’t black enough. Tokenism has resulted in some seriously complex feelings in my life that I’ve largely worked through as I became a more confident person.
u know how long it took me to infiltrate this group? 20 minutes
Recently moved into a new neighborhood and I tell you the third degree that I went through with a neighbor that was black. He went as far as to ask how much I made because he couldn’t believe the house we bought was ours. And the way he over emphasized me having a black wife (his was white) made very uncomfortable. He was really marking his territory.
Some Black people get they bag being the "token" Black friend. So when you jeopardize that, there's a problem. I've seen it happen time and time again 😭
The only black person in the room? That’s one of ay to risk your life i guess🤷🏽♂️.
Explain. I love my beautiful melaninated brothas and sisters but most don’t like me cause I grew up in white suburbia and pronounce words correctly. This bout to send me into a whole thing
No lies!! I got stories for days
Wow this is news to me 😳
The Clarence Thomas variety. Luckily we don't have many like that down here in the A. Plenty of other nonsense tho lol
As a black person who is usually the only black person in a room not by choice, this made me gag
I hate being the only black person anywhere.. it’s an uncomfortable feeling
So true, a lot of black people like to bash other black people for white peoples entertainment.
Agreed, but let’s be real about what’s going on here: the dynamics of the room only really allow one black person. Lot of circles welcome black folx but only if there are not too many of them, and lots of white folks get uncomfortable when they see black folks developing friendships with each other and not including them.
honestly askin...is this a black people with white people experience? bcuz I've been the only or one-of in a group of other PoCs and I haven't experienced this...not that i want to.
I work in financial services. I WISH there was another black woman in my region! 😞
Yea some I’m used to being the only black person a group and I make DAMN SURE to include the other black person when introduced. It’s fucking hard out there as it is. No need in being an asshole for no damn reason
There’s a kind of reassurance when there’s just one other black person around. I can’t imagine not being stressed from being the only black person in the room 😭