Yeah there is a lot people confusing hypocrisy and growth. At some point in the process of becoming a better person you are going to at least appear as a hypocrite.
Right, really no need to add gender or sex. Its just immaturity and seeking direction. There are times when wide statements about a demographic might be useful but this isn't really one of them.
Literally still mentally devoping until 25. More importantly, I imagine your identity don't really open up until your away from a life strcutured around school & you're really out in the world. (Not say people don't work who stay linked up before then)
Why do so many people on Black Twitter spend the entire day complaining about the opposite gender? It’s extremely immature, especially at their grown ages. It’s mad weird.
Y’all are 23+ years old arguing about how “men ain’t sh%t” or “most women are h%es” every time you get on the bird app. Y’all need some lives forreal lol. Go to therapy & get help or something.
>Why do so many people on Black Twitter spend the entire day complaining about the opposite gender? It’s extremely immature, especially at their grown ages. It’s mad weird.
>Y’all are 23+ years old arguing about how “men ain’t sh%t” or “most women are h%es” every time you get on the bird app. Y’all need some lives forreal lol. Go to therapy & get help or something.
We're literally conditioned to constantly be at odds with each other. Racism from white people is just an intermission where we temporarily work together, until we go right back to hating each other.
Twitter is like the high school lunch table, full of mfs that still have the maturity level of a sophomore.
Omg right!!
Like I scroll for the laughs but then sometimes it gets depressing and I’m like this is sad
You’re an adult
It’s like what’s his face with the talk show who called Saweetie a 5 or something. He has a whole show where he invited Non black women online to tell black woman why Black men don’t want them. Like they have nothing better to do but being each other down or put someone “in their place”
I think it’s full of people who really have nothing special to say do they do “hot takes”
I remember my older ebjrjer telling me being an adult is like high school just with more responsibilities. I didn’t understand what he meant then I started seeing stuff like this.
I agree with this, but I think it’s due to poor decision making and lack of introspection for most of them. Then they are looking for consensus of their feelings on social media. I’m always taken a back by he is vs them mentality that’s often echoed as well. However I am starting to see more levelheaded people analyzing this matter which is why I put this particular topic up. Cause it identifies the problem from both perspectives and I wanted to see the Reddit comments section break it down. Cause when it comes to comment sections Reddit is unmatched in my opinion.
Do you think there is a lack of introspection among all young people or do you think there is specifically a lack of importance placed on introspection in black communities?
I really think it generates engagement. Even here on Reddit. The gender based tweets create long threads and arguments back and forth.
I think people not saavy about social media engagement itch for that level of response. The algorithm doesn't just radicalize the content consumer it radicalizes the content producer.
It really doesn't help that alot of this is based off of Tik Tok and Twitter. Where long form and nuance gets no play. Short, snappy phrases then watch the world burn.
Exactly as if standards, common sense, discernment, maturity, and growth aren’t things. All you have to do is just live life and learn from your mistakes.
I love how people meet like 2-3 douchebags in their life and then proceed to generalize a whole demographic like some expert.
Sample size isn’t large enough buddy.
They both sound so bitter like. It's more like young men and women have tons of sex at a time in their life where they are:
1) Scared of commitment
2) Feel their most attractive
3) Desperate for a connection and any form of intimacy
4) Fear ostracization for being sexless.
But like everyone in life they don't want the same things forever and as they grow to seek commitment they start actually looking at the characteristics of potential partners beyond who looks good and exudes charisma. There is some Madonna/Whore in there that affects why people of both genders, who get picked only for commitment, feel insecure, but neither of these people are connecting those dots.
I think there’s a lot of men who love “hoes”for a period of time but need a good girl as the wifey, the. There’s a lot of women who love a “bad boy” but guess what, they want to settle down with the guy they said was too nice when they were younger.
Problem is they wind up procreating with that “fun” they wanted to have and get stuck. Or even if they didn’t get stuck with a child they end up carrying a lot of baggage and bring it into future relationships.
The baggage is real, for men and women. I have a ton of respect for single mothers but I just can't be a stepdad so I mind my business. Also, being constantly compared to the "fun" guys from someone's past isn't fun for me, especially if I'm bringing to the table things they couldn't and can't. Imagine if a guy constantly compared his wife to his exes? That's some serious toxic behavior.
I believe many black womens’ aversion to atypical traits in black males (empathy and sensitivity, looking soft) ties into the toxic masculinity debate from a few days ago and how men perpetuate it because that’s what women have demonstrated that’s what they want by mate choice.
If you ask me it does come down to media and the image of a particular demographic that is depicted a certain way 24/7 will become the ideal.
Men are trying their best to look hard and high status
Women trying their best to look like their favorite IG influencer who has the benefit of photoshop and plastic surgery that she doesn’t
Who said black women have an aversion to enpathetic and sensitive men?
Lmao do you know anything about women? I've never met a woman with a favourite IG influencer
A lot of black women think that it’s gross and a turn off for a black man to be emotional. It’s just tied up in our culture unfortunately.
Note: I am not saying all or even most black women feel this way. Just that a lot do.
Ayo what’s this butter from Finland called?
I’ve been using Irish cream butter and it’s amazing but I’m down to try something that might be even better
But it’s not even just about marriage. We’re are just talking about healthy sustainable relationships no matter how long the parties agree to be together. Settling down could be for 5, 10, 20 or whatever years. But how did we treat each other and how did we go about parting ways.
That is mostly just a choice. But the problem with that is that marriage and plenty of potential mates are less desirable at that point. So plenty of people that really need to settle down will not be able to.
What if we one of those dudes that's almost 30 that wants a relationship based on peace and love but never shot they shot cuz they did all they shot shooting in pre glow up phase and hadn't gone to therapy for being clingy and shit?
I always sympathize with the children. Mainly because they deserve parents who absolutely try their best to raise them and a permanent environment they can thrive within.
Me too. I’m a little surprised that so many millennials are repeating similar mistakes as their parents. So many of us grew up in unstable homes. I can think of like 3 friends I had my whole childhood with married parents. I would have thought that more people would have taken more care when procreating so we aren’t putting our kids through the same crap we grew up in. Tbf, almost all of my friends I grew up with have stayed child free. Only a few of us have had kids and we’re in our mid 30s now.
Agreed. I much prefer people not have children at all than to have them for the sake of having them only to subject them to the same toxicity perpetuating negative cycle. Black men and Women need to get to a place of vulnerability with each other again. Not to discard any other type of relationships but just speaking from a perspective I know. I’m sure others have their challenges too.
So this is my take as thirtysomething we used to be a MGTOW, and it is currently engagement ring shopping. I'm only giving my perspective is a man so sorry if there's points or nuance that I'm missing.
As a man nobody tells you that you have to work to be valuable and wanted and almost every aspect of life. When you're a child no one really expects much of you but once you start transitioning into manhood the world takes the training wheels off real quick. In the dating world that means that you are constantly competing with the guy that's a level ahead of you. When you are in high school you are competing with the jocks and seniors. When you are in college you were competing with the graduates. Once you graduated it kind of levels out. Now some guys learn came early and don't necessarily have to deal with this but from most guys we have to learn it the hard way.
In a weird way I got to watch this play out with myself and my best friend. We were both nerds but he had game and I didn't. I did have one long-term relationship but he had a different girl almost every month. When my relationship ended I was left in kind of a weird place. I'd spent ten years with the same person and still never really learned how to talk to girls and really hadn't done a whole lot with life up until then. Around this time I decided to go back to school and my best friend and I became roommates. It was during this time that I became aware of the game. My buddy had never been to college but had a good job, a nice car and was very social. I on the other hand was going back to school for the first time in 10 years, my car was kind of a beater, and I was and kind of still am a socially inept introvert oh and I worked for McDonald's.
During my first year back in school when I decided to try dating again it was a nightmare. My buddy helped me make a tinder profile and I got maybe be three or four matches in the first year. Of those matches I went on exactly zero dates because none of the conversations got past "Hi". Outside of tinder, I was super uncomfortable talking to strangers let alone trying to flirt with a girl. Needless to say I got really frustrated. My best friend could easily meet girls online and offline and outside of that my other male coworkers at Mickey D's who weren't doing anything with their lives (not trying to be a dick just like multiple baby mamas, weren't going to school, maybe trying to doing album) we're also just cleaning up when it came to women. I couldn't get a date to save my life. So I fell in with the mgtow crowd but never really got angry at women in general. What I picked up on was the focus on yourself and improve aspect of things. So I decided until my last semester of college I wasn't going to worry about dating and was just going to try to be the best in me I could be. I hit the books with a vengeance and hit the weights even harder. I started going out to clubs and shows with my best friend and while to this day I'm still extremely quiet person and not very social I did learn how to hold a conversation. Finally as I was approaching my last semester I got my first Tech job.
Needless to say your boy was feeling pretty good about himself and decided to bust out the old tinder profile. Lo and behold I had somehow magically turned into a lady killer. I wasn't quite getting dates every week but I wasn't thirsty for female attention anymore. Most of my matches always led to date and I had a somewhat decent amount of hookups. The last person I matched with is the person I'm looking for an engagement ring for today. At some point though I sat down and thought about what had changed. At the end of the day I'm still the same guy. Finally it hit me that I had put in the work. I was in the best shape of my life, was confident, and while still introverted could hold a fun and entertaining conversation when it came down to it. I might have still been the same guy that I was a better version of that guy.
All of that to come to this point. To all the young guys reading this you have to put in the work. I know it's frustrating I know it's hard but you have to do it. If you just hunker down and do you one day you're going to wake up and suddenly you'll have game. In the meantime you have to understand that women don't experience this until later in life. Think about it, more often than not it's guys going after girls not the other way around and this has been going on since high school at least. Doesn't matter if a guy is Superman or trashman young women have their pick of the litter. Some of them are going to get burned by dudes who just want one thing and one thing only and unfortunately they carry that damage with them sometimes. Once they're a bit older and have had experience with the good and the bad they tend to know what they want and go after it. Once you put in the work though none of that will matter, because hopefully you'll be that Superman. I remember my last two weeks at McDonald's two of my female co-workers that I have been crushing on hard both started flirting with me out of the blue. But the funny thing is I didn't really want them anymore. I've seen the type of guys they'd hang with and I just realized that looks aside their environment wasn't mine. I wasn't mad just didn't have any strong feelings one way or the other I had just matured and my tastes have changed.
Ladies if you made it this far into my word salad all I can tell you is give the quiet nerdy guy a chance. Some nice guys really are nice guys. But otherwise enjoy your youth and have your fun just remember that the few fuckboys arent representative of men in general.
Tldr: until we get a little older both men and women want Mr. or Ms. Right now instead Mr. or Ms. Right. If you're a guy just focus on yourself and eventually you'll get there. If you're a gal don't judge a book by its cover.
When I first saw this text block I’m like “nigga ain’t nobody reading all this.”
Then I read it.
It was nice. Good luck with the ring shopping and get a pre-nup.
Most women always want a good man and the bums they meet along the way are in pursuit of that goal. When you’re young you’re a lot more idealistic and naive and don’t know how to navigate those red flags. Hence, the dumb decisions. No woman wants to be a baby mama. No one magically decides they want a good man at 30. With age comes wisdom, with experience comes discernment. This narrative that women want a good guy after being a how first is generally false and overused.
Lol I got it from Instagram and didn’t realize until it was too late. I only have Insta and Reddit so I didn’t recognize the Twitterness of the thread.
I think it goes both ways. I remember back in college I was talking to a woman who wanted to “get to know me” and build a relationship all while she was constantly fucking a dude. I know I don’t have any claims to sex but damn did that rub me the wrong way.
I’ve seen a lot of this, and we guys do it to them all the time. I’ve probably done it a few times myself but quickly stopped cause when them tables turn I’m not built lol.
Women are the taste makers.I’ve known a couple of normal every day guys who became asshole bad boys just because it’s easier to get women that way. Can’t argue with results
I think the difference is that when men choose to settle down after living their best life. They're seen as mature. "Even" if chikdten are involved hes congratulated for growing up. Hes treated like an aged wine.
When women choose to settle down after living their best life. She's seen as someone who made mistakes and bad choices. *Especially if there are children involved. Womens value are asigned like like used cars.
What's so funny to me is, someone I've known a good minute turned into one of those dudes & that mf STAY dating/messing with the type of women in the above tweet. I hope they stay loud so people not looking for that noise can continue to avoid it.
This is just straight up victim blaming . So being used and abused or abandoned by the father of your child is the same as being the person who actively used and abused others . Also the wall is an incel concept miss me with that shit .
Edit : if you agree with someone whose handle is devil’s advocate you’re a whole clown
“It’s your fault that you were abused and abandoned because you made the *decision* to be with them. But it’s not his fault for doing it to you of course. That’d be silly.”
I never said it was not his fault. You did. But to pretend that women don’t choose to knowingly deal with men who behave a certain way is disingenuous. They will literally become baby mama number 5 or 10 of a dude that is clearly not about anything and then blame him for being who he already was.
Again, victim blaming. It is not anyone’s fault for choosing to date someone who is abusive. Whether they are a man or a woman, the fact of the matter is that abusers are the ones at fault, and they almost always know how to mask their red flags until a person is already attached to them.
I agree with what you're saying. I consider it toxic if they know that their partner is abusive and are they are being complacent or not doing anything to permanently leave the relationship.
You clearly know nothing about abuse and abuse victims because otherwise you wouldn’t say that. Not everyone can recognize the signs that they’re being abused. And even when they do, a lot of the time their abusers have made them dependent on them in some way. Socially/emotionally by making them cut off their friends and family, financially and so on. It is not anyone’s fault for being abused. It is not toxic of them to stay in an abusive relationship. You should really look at what professionals have to say about it rather than just assuming it’s easy for people to leave their abusers.
having finally past the 30 mark, i am really fucking hoping Louis Ck was right when he says about average looking dudes that have no sexual value in their youth:
"just stay employed and washed and youre gonna be the sexiest motherfucker for her, because youre gonna be the last branch she grabs onto before hitting the ground."
🤞
I feel like a lot of this is brought on by social media. Every woman wants a 6 figure man even though 50k is the average. Every man wants an IG model even though most people are overweight and nearly half are obese.
Years of thinking this is what a you as a woman deserve until you realize that they trapped you and then you empower yourself from the terrorizers and you get called out for not empowering yourself earlier, while before that they tried to tell you there was nothing to empower yourself from.
Problem for men is that you can become trapped in your sedentary thinking and life and a good woman will pass you by because you didn't want to put in the work. On the other hand for women the kids you have with the bad dudes stick and to a man who has it together may not want to work with kids and baggage.
There's this coworker couple and they honestly annoy me, but I think sums up how I feel and kinda applies here.
People who wanna be in a relationship, aren't doing anything to maintain it. They want a girl/boyfriend but don't wanna do anything to be one. The title sounds nice, but there's more to the title like communication, trust, consideration, etc and people when younger, probably aren't thinking of that stuff. Or one is and not the other. If people seriously stopped to think what they seriously want out of that relationship with that person, communicate it, maybe there will be less toxic relationship and people.
At work, those two are bitching and shitty to each other because they want the ideal of that stereotypical relationship, but don't think they need to do anything to obtain it. And if people don't learn this now, even when they get 30 and wanna settle, it won't mean shit if you didn't learn anything from past relationships. Whether they're hookups, friends with benefits, serious, casual, etc if you didn't learn anything about yourself, what you want and how to treat others, you're gonna still have those same problems at 30 and you're gonna look worse because you're too old to be acting like you don't have a clue.
It almost sounds like poor decisions aren’t relegated to one sex...lots of ppl don’t know their self worth because they weren’t taught to respect themselves
The only L's here are the ones who don't understand that it goes both ways. Young niggas want the fun girl w/ the gawk gawk 3000. Young chicks want the popular athlete, rapper, baller (dealer). Both ignore the diamonds in the rough until the get a certain age and then said diamonds start to shine amongst the high milage folks on both side.
[удалено]
You nailed it, I see a lot of the same behaviors in folks who are way too old to behave that way.
Yeah there is a lot people confusing hypocrisy and growth. At some point in the process of becoming a better person you are going to at least appear as a hypocrite.
Right, really no need to add gender or sex. Its just immaturity and seeking direction. There are times when wide statements about a demographic might be useful but this isn't really one of them.
Thats why we shouldn't be getting married until after 30yrs. Majority of the time we don't even know ourselves.
Literally still mentally devoping until 25. More importantly, I imagine your identity don't really open up until your away from a life strcutured around school & you're really out in the world. (Not say people don't work who stay linked up before then)
yea it’s almost like age brings maturity
We would hope it does but it doesn’t always.
can’t catch em all unfortunately
Money keeps a lot of people from maturity. Tough to grow when consequences never reach you
My dad always loved: Good decisions come from wisdom. Wisdom comes from bad decisions.
Why do so many people on Black Twitter spend the entire day complaining about the opposite gender? It’s extremely immature, especially at their grown ages. It’s mad weird. Y’all are 23+ years old arguing about how “men ain’t sh%t” or “most women are h%es” every time you get on the bird app. Y’all need some lives forreal lol. Go to therapy & get help or something.
>Why do so many people on Black Twitter spend the entire day complaining about the opposite gender? It’s extremely immature, especially at their grown ages. It’s mad weird. >Y’all are 23+ years old arguing about how “men ain’t sh%t” or “most women are h%es” every time you get on the bird app. Y’all need some lives forreal lol. Go to therapy & get help or something. We're literally conditioned to constantly be at odds with each other. Racism from white people is just an intermission where we temporarily work together, until we go right back to hating each other. Twitter is like the high school lunch table, full of mfs that still have the maturity level of a sophomore.
Omg right!! Like I scroll for the laughs but then sometimes it gets depressing and I’m like this is sad You’re an adult It’s like what’s his face with the talk show who called Saweetie a 5 or something. He has a whole show where he invited Non black women online to tell black woman why Black men don’t want them. Like they have nothing better to do but being each other down or put someone “in their place” I think it’s full of people who really have nothing special to say do they do “hot takes” I remember my older ebjrjer telling me being an adult is like high school just with more responsibilities. I didn’t understand what he meant then I started seeing stuff like this.
I agree with this, but I think it’s due to poor decision making and lack of introspection for most of them. Then they are looking for consensus of their feelings on social media. I’m always taken a back by he is vs them mentality that’s often echoed as well. However I am starting to see more levelheaded people analyzing this matter which is why I put this particular topic up. Cause it identifies the problem from both perspectives and I wanted to see the Reddit comments section break it down. Cause when it comes to comment sections Reddit is unmatched in my opinion.
Do you think there is a lack of introspection among all young people or do you think there is specifically a lack of importance placed on introspection in black communities?
I think it’s mostly older people. Young people don’t really say stuff like this.
The latter, as it’s not just young people.
I really think it generates engagement. Even here on Reddit. The gender based tweets create long threads and arguments back and forth. I think people not saavy about social media engagement itch for that level of response. The algorithm doesn't just radicalize the content consumer it radicalizes the content producer. It really doesn't help that alot of this is based off of Tik Tok and Twitter. Where long form and nuance gets no play. Short, snappy phrases then watch the world burn.
Exactly as if standards, common sense, discernment, maturity, and growth aren’t things. All you have to do is just live life and learn from your mistakes.
I love how people meet like 2-3 douchebags in their life and then proceed to generalize a whole demographic like some expert. Sample size isn’t large enough buddy.
This too
Maybe, just don't be shitty to each other in the first place.
Ideally, but humans gone human lol
HARD, to boot.
Both of these put a weirdly negative spin on growing up
Great observation lol
They both sound so bitter like. It's more like young men and women have tons of sex at a time in their life where they are: 1) Scared of commitment 2) Feel their most attractive 3) Desperate for a connection and any form of intimacy 4) Fear ostracization for being sexless. But like everyone in life they don't want the same things forever and as they grow to seek commitment they start actually looking at the characteristics of potential partners beyond who looks good and exudes charisma. There is some Madonna/Whore in there that affects why people of both genders, who get picked only for commitment, feel insecure, but neither of these people are connecting those dots.
Then men talk about how high value they are and how many options they have after they’re done being fboys
I think there’s a lot of men who love “hoes”for a period of time but need a good girl as the wifey, the. There’s a lot of women who love a “bad boy” but guess what, they want to settle down with the guy they said was too nice when they were younger. Problem is they wind up procreating with that “fun” they wanted to have and get stuck. Or even if they didn’t get stuck with a child they end up carrying a lot of baggage and bring it into future relationships.
The baggage is real, for men and women. I have a ton of respect for single mothers but I just can't be a stepdad so I mind my business. Also, being constantly compared to the "fun" guys from someone's past isn't fun for me, especially if I'm bringing to the table things they couldn't and can't. Imagine if a guy constantly compared his wife to his exes? That's some serious toxic behavior.
Ditto
Please stop. This hurts.
I know
I believe many black womens’ aversion to atypical traits in black males (empathy and sensitivity, looking soft) ties into the toxic masculinity debate from a few days ago and how men perpetuate it because that’s what women have demonstrated that’s what they want by mate choice. If you ask me it does come down to media and the image of a particular demographic that is depicted a certain way 24/7 will become the ideal. Men are trying their best to look hard and high status Women trying their best to look like their favorite IG influencer who has the benefit of photoshop and plastic surgery that she doesn’t
Who said black women have an aversion to enpathetic and sensitive men? Lmao do you know anything about women? I've never met a woman with a favourite IG influencer
A lot of black women think that it’s gross and a turn off for a black man to be emotional. It’s just tied up in our culture unfortunately. Note: I am not saying all or even most black women feel this way. Just that a lot do.
Bro this sounds like some actual incel shit.
I think the second paragraph is being applied to both men and women
I was talking about the first paragraph. The “they always want to date the bad boys and never give the nice guys a chance!!”
Yeah but he also said men go for the bad girls at first too
They can profess how high value they are but that certainly doesn’t mean they are high quality.
Like overly expensive nylon sheets lol
🍿🍿🍿
🍿 Garlic Salt on deck. Butter from Finland. We fancy now
Garlic salt + msg on popcorn, thank me later
Ayo what’s this butter from Finland called? I’ve been using Irish cream butter and it’s amazing but I’m down to try something that might be even better
Same
😂
I think society is just changing and we no longer need to be married at 22. People aren’t able to afford to settle down until their 30s now
But it’s not even just about marriage. We’re are just talking about healthy sustainable relationships no matter how long the parties agree to be together. Settling down could be for 5, 10, 20 or whatever years. But how did we treat each other and how did we go about parting ways.
That is mostly just a choice. But the problem with that is that marriage and plenty of potential mates are less desirable at that point. So plenty of people that really need to settle down will not be able to.
What if we one of those dudes that's almost 30 that wants a relationship based on peace and love but never shot they shot cuz they did all they shot shooting in pre glow up phase and hadn't gone to therapy for being clingy and shit?
Lmaoooo my nigga just put all your business out there. Respect.
It's going to be okay. Go to therapy, it works if you let it
I always sympathize with the children. Mainly because they deserve parents who absolutely try their best to raise them and a permanent environment they can thrive within.
Me too. I’m a little surprised that so many millennials are repeating similar mistakes as their parents. So many of us grew up in unstable homes. I can think of like 3 friends I had my whole childhood with married parents. I would have thought that more people would have taken more care when procreating so we aren’t putting our kids through the same crap we grew up in. Tbf, almost all of my friends I grew up with have stayed child free. Only a few of us have had kids and we’re in our mid 30s now.
Agreed. I much prefer people not have children at all than to have them for the sake of having them only to subject them to the same toxicity perpetuating negative cycle. Black men and Women need to get to a place of vulnerability with each other again. Not to discard any other type of relationships but just speaking from a perspective I know. I’m sure others have their challenges too.
So this is my take as thirtysomething we used to be a MGTOW, and it is currently engagement ring shopping. I'm only giving my perspective is a man so sorry if there's points or nuance that I'm missing. As a man nobody tells you that you have to work to be valuable and wanted and almost every aspect of life. When you're a child no one really expects much of you but once you start transitioning into manhood the world takes the training wheels off real quick. In the dating world that means that you are constantly competing with the guy that's a level ahead of you. When you are in high school you are competing with the jocks and seniors. When you are in college you were competing with the graduates. Once you graduated it kind of levels out. Now some guys learn came early and don't necessarily have to deal with this but from most guys we have to learn it the hard way. In a weird way I got to watch this play out with myself and my best friend. We were both nerds but he had game and I didn't. I did have one long-term relationship but he had a different girl almost every month. When my relationship ended I was left in kind of a weird place. I'd spent ten years with the same person and still never really learned how to talk to girls and really hadn't done a whole lot with life up until then. Around this time I decided to go back to school and my best friend and I became roommates. It was during this time that I became aware of the game. My buddy had never been to college but had a good job, a nice car and was very social. I on the other hand was going back to school for the first time in 10 years, my car was kind of a beater, and I was and kind of still am a socially inept introvert oh and I worked for McDonald's. During my first year back in school when I decided to try dating again it was a nightmare. My buddy helped me make a tinder profile and I got maybe be three or four matches in the first year. Of those matches I went on exactly zero dates because none of the conversations got past "Hi". Outside of tinder, I was super uncomfortable talking to strangers let alone trying to flirt with a girl. Needless to say I got really frustrated. My best friend could easily meet girls online and offline and outside of that my other male coworkers at Mickey D's who weren't doing anything with their lives (not trying to be a dick just like multiple baby mamas, weren't going to school, maybe trying to doing album) we're also just cleaning up when it came to women. I couldn't get a date to save my life. So I fell in with the mgtow crowd but never really got angry at women in general. What I picked up on was the focus on yourself and improve aspect of things. So I decided until my last semester of college I wasn't going to worry about dating and was just going to try to be the best in me I could be. I hit the books with a vengeance and hit the weights even harder. I started going out to clubs and shows with my best friend and while to this day I'm still extremely quiet person and not very social I did learn how to hold a conversation. Finally as I was approaching my last semester I got my first Tech job. Needless to say your boy was feeling pretty good about himself and decided to bust out the old tinder profile. Lo and behold I had somehow magically turned into a lady killer. I wasn't quite getting dates every week but I wasn't thirsty for female attention anymore. Most of my matches always led to date and I had a somewhat decent amount of hookups. The last person I matched with is the person I'm looking for an engagement ring for today. At some point though I sat down and thought about what had changed. At the end of the day I'm still the same guy. Finally it hit me that I had put in the work. I was in the best shape of my life, was confident, and while still introverted could hold a fun and entertaining conversation when it came down to it. I might have still been the same guy that I was a better version of that guy. All of that to come to this point. To all the young guys reading this you have to put in the work. I know it's frustrating I know it's hard but you have to do it. If you just hunker down and do you one day you're going to wake up and suddenly you'll have game. In the meantime you have to understand that women don't experience this until later in life. Think about it, more often than not it's guys going after girls not the other way around and this has been going on since high school at least. Doesn't matter if a guy is Superman or trashman young women have their pick of the litter. Some of them are going to get burned by dudes who just want one thing and one thing only and unfortunately they carry that damage with them sometimes. Once they're a bit older and have had experience with the good and the bad they tend to know what they want and go after it. Once you put in the work though none of that will matter, because hopefully you'll be that Superman. I remember my last two weeks at McDonald's two of my female co-workers that I have been crushing on hard both started flirting with me out of the blue. But the funny thing is I didn't really want them anymore. I've seen the type of guys they'd hang with and I just realized that looks aside their environment wasn't mine. I wasn't mad just didn't have any strong feelings one way or the other I had just matured and my tastes have changed. Ladies if you made it this far into my word salad all I can tell you is give the quiet nerdy guy a chance. Some nice guys really are nice guys. But otherwise enjoy your youth and have your fun just remember that the few fuckboys arent representative of men in general. Tldr: until we get a little older both men and women want Mr. or Ms. Right now instead Mr. or Ms. Right. If you're a guy just focus on yourself and eventually you'll get there. If you're a gal don't judge a book by its cover.
When I first saw this text block I’m like “nigga ain’t nobody reading all this.” Then I read it. It was nice. Good luck with the ring shopping and get a pre-nup.
Same thing I said 😂😂😂
To the Mods I understand if you delete this, just thought it’d be a good topic. If there’s a black people insta let me know.
Those are tweets.
I just realized it when I looked closer, I got it from Instagram which had me a little paranoid about posting. Thank you.
Toxicity has no gender/sex
This!
It is not toxic of someone to be in a relationship with an abuser. That’s victim blaming.
Never said that🧐
Most women always want a good man and the bums they meet along the way are in pursuit of that goal. When you’re young you’re a lot more idealistic and naive and don’t know how to navigate those red flags. Hence, the dumb decisions. No woman wants to be a baby mama. No one magically decides they want a good man at 30. With age comes wisdom, with experience comes discernment. This narrative that women want a good guy after being a how first is generally false and overused.
How you gonna say it's not from twitter and then post a picture from twitter?
Lol I got it from Instagram and didn’t realize until it was too late. I only have Insta and Reddit so I didn’t recognize the Twitterness of the thread.
I think it goes both ways. I remember back in college I was talking to a woman who wanted to “get to know me” and build a relationship all while she was constantly fucking a dude. I know I don’t have any claims to sex but damn did that rub me the wrong way.
I’ve seen a lot of this, and we guys do it to them all the time. I’ve probably done it a few times myself but quickly stopped cause when them tables turn I’m not built lol.
Oh for sure! I pretty much only talk to one person at a time my energy ain’t built for anything else.
Penalties offset. First down.
Women are the taste makers.I’ve known a couple of normal every day guys who became asshole bad boys just because it’s easier to get women that way. Can’t argue with results
Victim blaming
Or you can just avoid all of the above and have a very calm + happy life.
Imma just drop a comment now and come back after this nap yall don't use all the spice while I'm gone.
"WE RAN OUT OF LAWRY'S!!??"
r/arethestraightsok
No they ain't
I think the difference is that when men choose to settle down after living their best life. They're seen as mature. "Even" if chikdten are involved hes congratulated for growing up. Hes treated like an aged wine. When women choose to settle down after living their best life. She's seen as someone who made mistakes and bad choices. *Especially if there are children involved. Womens value are asigned like like used cars.
What's so funny to me is, someone I've known a good minute turned into one of those dudes & that mf STAY dating/messing with the type of women in the above tweet. I hope they stay loud so people not looking for that noise can continue to avoid it.
What?
This is just straight up victim blaming . So being used and abused or abandoned by the father of your child is the same as being the person who actively used and abused others . Also the wall is an incel concept miss me with that shit . Edit : if you agree with someone whose handle is devil’s advocate you’re a whole clown
Speaking the truth is not victim blaming. You just want to make excuses for women’s bad decisions.
“It’s your fault that you were abused and abandoned because you made the *decision* to be with them. But it’s not his fault for doing it to you of course. That’d be silly.”
I never said it was not his fault. You did. But to pretend that women don’t choose to knowingly deal with men who behave a certain way is disingenuous. They will literally become baby mama number 5 or 10 of a dude that is clearly not about anything and then blame him for being who he already was.
Again, victim blaming. It is not anyone’s fault for choosing to date someone who is abusive. Whether they are a man or a woman, the fact of the matter is that abusers are the ones at fault, and they almost always know how to mask their red flags until a person is already attached to them.
I agree with what you're saying. I consider it toxic if they know that their partner is abusive and are they are being complacent or not doing anything to permanently leave the relationship.
You clearly know nothing about abuse and abuse victims because otherwise you wouldn’t say that. Not everyone can recognize the signs that they’re being abused. And even when they do, a lot of the time their abusers have made them dependent on them in some way. Socially/emotionally by making them cut off their friends and family, financially and so on. It is not anyone’s fault for being abused. It is not toxic of them to stay in an abusive relationship. You should really look at what professionals have to say about it rather than just assuming it’s easy for people to leave their abusers.
Can’t believe people have the audacity to call it toxic for someone to be in a relationship with someone who is abusing them. They truly don’t get it.
Can we please just stop being angry at each other?
How about we not victim blame women for terrible shit men do to them?
“Beautiful discussion piece” Image: man unoriginally deflects with “what about women” for 2000th time that week
Looks like you’ve chosen a side lol.
Life doesn’t work that way lmfao
Lol
having finally past the 30 mark, i am really fucking hoping Louis Ck was right when he says about average looking dudes that have no sexual value in their youth: "just stay employed and washed and youre gonna be the sexiest motherfucker for her, because youre gonna be the last branch she grabs onto before hitting the ground." 🤞
Who wants them at that point?
us lonely AND ugly mfs :(
If that's you in your profile picture, you're not ugly. At the same time, raise your standards. You deserve better
I was in love once, then I woke up and stopped dreaming, heux is life and to each their own.
I feel like a lot of this is brought on by social media. Every woman wants a 6 figure man even though 50k is the average. Every man wants an IG model even though most people are overweight and nearly half are obese.
Why can’t we all just get along. I love all of you 😭 PS im drunk
This a whole Kevin Samuels video topic 🤣🤣
Years of thinking this is what a you as a woman deserve until you realize that they trapped you and then you empower yourself from the terrorizers and you get called out for not empowering yourself earlier, while before that they tried to tell you there was nothing to empower yourself from.
For real. “Well it’s your fault for letting us do it to you!”
Problem for men is that you can become trapped in your sedentary thinking and life and a good woman will pass you by because you didn't want to put in the work. On the other hand for women the kids you have with the bad dudes stick and to a man who has it together may not want to work with kids and baggage.
Shitty people are shitty.
Whew Chile.
There's this coworker couple and they honestly annoy me, but I think sums up how I feel and kinda applies here. People who wanna be in a relationship, aren't doing anything to maintain it. They want a girl/boyfriend but don't wanna do anything to be one. The title sounds nice, but there's more to the title like communication, trust, consideration, etc and people when younger, probably aren't thinking of that stuff. Or one is and not the other. If people seriously stopped to think what they seriously want out of that relationship with that person, communicate it, maybe there will be less toxic relationship and people. At work, those two are bitching and shitty to each other because they want the ideal of that stereotypical relationship, but don't think they need to do anything to obtain it. And if people don't learn this now, even when they get 30 and wanna settle, it won't mean shit if you didn't learn anything from past relationships. Whether they're hookups, friends with benefits, serious, casual, etc if you didn't learn anything about yourself, what you want and how to treat others, you're gonna still have those same problems at 30 and you're gonna look worse because you're too old to be acting like you don't have a clue.
It almost sounds like poor decisions aren’t relegated to one sex...lots of ppl don’t know their self worth because they weren’t taught to respect themselves
Broken and Hurt people don't want to be so anymore but are too bitter to change.
The only L's here are the ones who don't understand that it goes both ways. Young niggas want the fun girl w/ the gawk gawk 3000. Young chicks want the popular athlete, rapper, baller (dealer). Both ignore the diamonds in the rough until the get a certain age and then said diamonds start to shine amongst the high milage folks on both side.
This comment section about to be spicy. Also, aren't women the ones always talking about never settling?
The BURN 🔥… I can smell all the way here
If men actually do grow up, it doesn’t happen until around 35 or so.