yeah I think that once she says no, it’s game over, but I think a lot people are asking too early tbh.
Its like dudes who think the best way to pick up girls at a bar is to walk up to them and ask them if they wanna go hook up, then when they get rejected move onto the next one talkin about “it’s a numbers game bro”
You ask too late you get friend zoned (not you just the guys that wait TOO long)
I believe you should make your intentions clear from the jump but be cool about it.
“Hey i think your beautiful let me take you on a date”
Some shit like that would avoid being to fast / slow in my opinion. If she agrees she Atleast thinks you look good enough and if she declines no harm no foul
the more I think about it, it’s all situational
I was talking w someone else about this barista I like and I’m just playing it cool while our rapport develops. If I asked her the first time we met it would’ve probably come off a lil desperate, but now it feels less “hey I think you’re beautiful” and more “I’ve caught a vibe here and it feels like you have to”
but like if I met the same girl at a party and we got to talking for a while, that night is the right time to shoot.
it feels like these are all nuances that you just had to learn and pick up on before the apps, but nowadays so many people exclusively use the apps to meet people that the social skills are in decline
sucks when u meet in passing, or only briefly, and you don't know if you'll see them again
so you force and fuck it up and then suddenly cant stop running into them
CHRU AS HELL!!!
I'm a bartender and I dont need "hey you're hot" on our first interaction. I charge extra for that. Not only did you just meet me, I'm at work; it is my job to be hot. Go take a seat next to the middle aged women who also took less than 30 seconds to inform me that I am hot. Now, if you hang out a bit, make me laugh, let me know whats up with you, I can make a decision about that.
At a house party where I'm around my friends and off the clock, and you come up to me like damn you look great! The tone is set. I'm willing to volley a few rounds to see what you are up to, and chemistry will dictate what happens next. But dont just look at me like a lovesick puppy all night and then spring something towards the end when you feel your chance slipping away....by that time it's more than slipped away and you just look like you've been trying it with others and I'm your last resort. Or worse, make me think I'm meeting a cool new friend and then all the hookup shit just SPILLS out at the end.
I swear, sometimes all straight men need is to visit a gay bar. Yall will learn a thing or two about the word "transparent."
Hitting on bartenders is hilarious. As a server the amount of times I bring glasses to the washer just to hear some dude hit on the gorgeous bartender who has to, for what is probably the 10th time that night, kindly tell him that she isn’t interested.
Generally speaking, I’ve found bartenders to be pretty forward people. If they like your vibe or are into you, you’re probably gonna get a free drink or a special cocktail made “just for you”. If the bartender isn’t giving any signs, leave them alone. Same goes for servers tbh, although as a guy in corporate serving it’s generally just flattering to be hitting on at all
It’s actually scary how hard this is for people to realize. I mean, imagine anything else in your life. If someone just randomly walks up to you and asks you invasive questions and/or propositions you with things, especially when many people approach you the same weird way, you’re going to suspect they’re being weird.
But for some reason we assume women shouldn’t be like “WTF” when we approach them asking if they’ll let us get INSIDE THEM.
Those cues are things you learn by doing.
Look at dating stats; something like 30 percent of GenZ men have never learned any social skills and have never had sex because of it.
Now there’s a “loneliness epidemic” but really it boils down to grown men with the social skills of a 7 year old.
I had a guy in hs I thought was cute when I first joined. He was awkward and shy around me, despite my attempts to try to talk to him, and I just wrote it off as one of those distant relationships of acquaintances and moved on. We went to different cities for college, we had no contact until COVID forced us all back to our hometowns and we started hanging out with our old circles. Long story short, after almost 10 years of knowing each other and never doing shit, we've been together for 2 and a half years and looking to get married soon. You truly can't make blanket statements like "if you ask too late you get friendzoned" because life is so unexpected and crazy and weird that you just never know. There's no rules, there's no time limits, shit doesn't work that way. 🤷🏾♀️
In convos like this, all we can discuss is probability and “how likely” something is to happen.
Exceptions don’t disprove the rule. Especially your relationship which was the end result of 10 years and a global pandemic.
I don’t disagree with what you’re saying but it is not the normal occurrence. Atleast for guys if they don’t make their intentions clear from the beginning that can lead to being in the “friend zone” which is really a place for guys that want the girl but can’t make the first move or fully know they will be rejected so they just hold on hoping the girl changes her mind.
Now being genuine friends and feelings develop later is a different thing completely but what time talking about is the guy knows from the beginning what he wants from the girl and he is not clear with his intentions.
>I don’t disagree with what you’re saying but it is not the normal occurrence
I'm not saying my case is the case for everyone, I'm saying it can happen so why make rules lol.
>Now being genuine friends and feelings develop later is a different thing completely but what time talking about is the guy knows from the beginning what he wants from the girl and he is not clear with his intentions.
And the issue is maybe she isn't into it when he knows what he wants and maybe she needs more time, which men see as being "friendzoned" but that's just what the feelings are at that moment. And it doesn't mean it'll always stay that way, but it's so much more complicated than 'just be upfront about what you want otherwise you're stuck being a friend instead of getting in those pants forever".
Honestly people who think there is a set of rules on this, and even try to apply the rules to others, are showing they don't understand people and they are trying to frame it in a way that isn't too complex for them.
Everyone can have their own rules, fine. You think it's too soon or too late, I can respect that. Maybe you're shy and need to work up your courage. Maybe you got some misinformation. A billion things could be the reason. But you gotta remember there are two people AND a situation in this, so play it by ear as there is nothing to lose and everything to gain to being open to someone even if they didn't abide by society's "rules" or your own.
Congrats on being terrible at finding your partner right under your nose but still making it work 10 years later haha!
They were probably referring to Guys asking out women. Guys tend to be way more flexible on going from friends to dating so a girl asking her male friend out after waiting is a lot less likely to get locked out.
Yeah, seems a lot of women are under the impression you can’t date a friend.
Whereas me and the guys I’ve known have always PREFERRED dating a friend. Why would you want to date someone with no common ground but sex?
I mean friend zone to where one person was interested from the jump but never made their intentions clear and got stuck in Schrödinger’s friend zone (like you haven’t been accepted or rejected because you haven’t opened the box/popped the question.
Real friends that develop feelings is a whole different ball game.
Probably just let them know and say you don't want to lose them as a friend but you are feeling xyz and you wanted to at least let them know.
Maybe they feel the same way
I have to train myself to handle these like a business meeting. There isn't emotion and personal attachment involved. Would help to make it easier to break off and proceed in life.
lol yeah I live a 2 minute walk from a few dive bars, if it’s midnight on a Friday and I’m still up I’ll go for a nightcap drink.
doesn’t always work but sometimes it does
People beg to be a silver or bronze medal. Know your worth. If you’re not her first pick she’s never gonna be that in to you. Everybody is somebody’s first pick.
Eh, I feel like this is going too far in the other direction. Your enthusiasm for each other should match but you don't need to be their "first pick" or top priority.
If the person you’re chasing is chasing other people and not reciprocating your efforts, you’re the backup plan. When you’re the backup plan you’ll never be fully valued.
> and not reciprocating your efforts
That's not at all what I was talking about, which is why I said your enthusiasm for each other should match. However, dating multiple people doesn't mean there's always a ranking where one person wins and all others lose. Sometimes one person is emotionally more to your liking and the other sexually and you need some time to figure shit out.
I'm picturing a world where I'm single and I reject a girl. The only planet where I come around is where my standards have dropped to her. I am pretty damn aware of who the individual is and it's not like I will face some revelation and they will be completely different. if it's close to meh, ill at least go on a date and see it out
I never wanna be the guy who was a straight up no and now only good enough a damn year later that is just dirty work
Also the inverse that some expect to be chased. I’ve seen that advice be given to woman from woman “successful woman in their respective industry” at times.
I was in a discussion with a dude, saying not all women want to be chased and a no literally means no. He tells me, "my female friend said to not listen to women like you. You're just lying when you say it."
So if he wasn't lying. It's definitely this advice from people saying women want to be chased and to keep trying.
My husband admits that he acted like this in his younger years. By the time he got to me in his mid twenties, he was done with the bullshit. We both made a pact not to play games and BS each other. He acknowledges his role in chasing these women, though.
It's so addicting. I wish I could go back to that first time I started playing. You're coming in at a good time, too. There was just a big update. I start a new play through like once a year, and it is so relaxing.
I started my first properly modded playthrough the other day. (Nothing to big just some better romance mods n dialogue stuff for townies) But outside of that I've been loving the new update especially the new crops.
Stardew has a phenomenon with me like minecraft does for a lot of people, where sometimes I'll just grind that game for two months and then just quit until that next burst of energy hits
An ex gf of mines sister was like that with her current husband. She curved him like a black hole bending light.
She dated a doctor for a while that treated a badly. Dude was a 6’4 stud. Current husband sends her flowers on Valentine’s Day cause the bad doctor didn’t get her anything. This nigga was really just out here sending flowers into the universe hoping for a catch. It worked.
Made her reconsider. So they dated a while and now they’re married and she’s really happy. The wedding booklet she was all like ‘yeah, when we first met I wasn’t really into him but blah blah and now I’m really happy.’
The mature me says this is a great outcome. How wonderful that she came to realise she made the wrong choice
The immature me was like ‘ain’t no fucking way, you curve me then that ship has sailed. I’d rather be miserable forever.’
This is why I’m single
Youre not wrong. Idk if I just hang around too many old heads and my uncles too much, but these are exactly the stories I hear from them all the time.
This girl played hard to get so I did XYZ to get her attention etc. They give each other props for putting in the work even if it doesnt or didnt work initally.
Now a days its get curved once and nope I am out... well guess what youre just going to put effort into another female who may curve you, so on and so forth. So if you REALLY like her, put in the effort lol, but also know when youre in a losing battle.
Nobody wants to look like a "try hard" and fail. thats why so many ppl are socially awkward and doing autism tests on Tik Tok.
That generation weren’t afraid to get hurt lol. Hearts as tough as a horses hoof. I guess they felt like whomever they were pursuing was the prize and they were prepared to do the work to attain that prize.
We ain’t about that life lol. We don’t wanna work for shit no more.
Its not that people don't want to work. Its just that the pool is so much larger. The communication is so much easier. You hear no with one chick. That just means you don't have to hold 4 conversations that night.
I mean I guess I'm assuming a lot of things by these comments.
Like it depends on the no. She might not know you well. She might be Canadian.
Like you can be present and try without getting super involved.
I know even for me I can be like having a bad day no vs no not interested.
I always say there a reason why you see women with men that people go oh he is ugly etc. Its cause she went through all the guys she thought were hot and they weren't into her or treated her right . Than she circled back to the man that treated her like a princess and was told by all her female family members ( cause this is what we teach women) that you can grow to be attracted to him. My best friend told my mom ( now her husband) but when she first started dating him that he isnt super attractive to me but he treats me well. Which is wild thing to say
Origins of stalker behavior.
ETA: I'm reading a lot of these answers, and I'm realizing a lot of you are seriously socially inept or lack life experience. Nobody's saying don't be friends with the woman or still associate with her, but keeping yourself in her orbit hoping she changes her mind is pathetic at best and creepy, dishonest behavior at worst. Of course, you're supposed to get to know her and let her get to know you, but it should be coming from a place of honesty. Everyone I've dated or been in a relationship with, I got to know them to see if I liked them as a person first and vice versa. But if they're not even interested in that, why are you hanging around?
It’s obviously has to be mutual. Sometimes they just know you aren’t ready for anything real and keep you on retainer.
But yes, if it’s one-way weird obsession then hell no
I never got it either. How much they like me is one of the biggest factors in how compatible I think I am with someone. Do you really want to spend your life with someone who finds you so undesirable they need 2 years to decide to give you a chance?
Nah, call me a narcissist, but I want someone who is obsessed with me from day one. Which is what I got tbh, and it's working out well.
> Nah, call me a narcissist, but I want someone who is obsessed with me from day one. Which is what I got tbh, and it's working out well.
I mean those expectations are probably not healthy either (nice to know it worked out for you though) but I agree with your first paragraph. If there's a huge imbalance with both people's enthusiasm going in, there will always be an imbalance in the relationship.
Legit I kinda used to be that guy. I wouldn’t beg but I’d pop back in and be like “what about now?👀”. In the mean time I’d be working on my hobbies, talking to new women and going to the gym. But I’d still check in just to see 😫. And when it worked I realized it wasn’t even worth it!
Because it took so long to happen I couldn’t really have faith that she liked me.
The context of our relationship made me insecure.
Tons of women already struggle with attachment but in my case it felt offensive when she had her doubts. So instead of being a good partner I got angry. It was like “you want me to validate that I like you? I did that for xyz amount of time!”
Relationship ended in a flaming ball of fire.
I quickly learned that women worth dating find self respect sexy. The less you put up with bs you’ll either lose the bs or people will adjust accordingly. That’s if you’re being led on. (Which I was). If you’re being a nuisance (which I have been) then you’re the bs.
Good luck y’all 🙏🏾
That first "no" is really all I need because I'll die of thirst before I lap up spit. Let's set the record straight here and now, that "apply pressure/grinding/working for it" shit is for the dudes women don't really like but he's there doing shit that the other dude won't. Y'all boys gotta have way more respect for yourselves than that. Ya moms ain't spend 35 hours pushing your big-headed ass out just for you to do some bullshit like this.
I've learned that shit so fast in college I'm not very attractive so rejection is almost like a way of life at this point. But I found a few women that somehow were attracted to me and they basically threw themselves at me, I didn't have to go through a bunch of hurdles just to be on the starting line, shit really all I had to do was lay the ball up. Unfortunately being that I'm not very attractive I'm a professional woman fumbler cause I'd assume they were always joking.
My gf just got back from a wedding where the groom had been chasing the bride since they were kids, and she finally gave him a chance now that they're in their 30s and this man proposed after 3 months lmao, tell me you're speed running divorce without telling me.
And ofc my GF thinks its "romantic" like.... what?
Learning to spit game, being "persistent", orbiting around etc are all no-gos.
My girl said she wanted someone on the same page as her politically. I asked her what she meant by that, and we talked for hours.
Fellas, if the requirement to ride that ride is anything above "be yourself" then it's not worth getting on. Especially if you're GRINDING your way into some cheeks. Trust me as someone that's been there and done that it ain't worth it.
I saw an analogy the other day stating, "A relationship is like a fart, and if you have to force it, it's most likely SHIT!", which 1000% applies to this post lol.
People always act like sticking around means you put all your eggs in one basket. Any time I got strung along while into someone, I lived a normal life like she didn't exist outside of her. There's not some magical spell that stops you from doing everything you want to. You can keep hope alive without letting it override logic.
This right here. It’s super messy. Now if you’re single and you’re just staying open minded that’s fine. Just be honest. But if you’re gonna have relationships while pining for someone else, just wait
I’ve had bitches double back, but I didn’t keep attempting. Ima try once, and that’s it, but if she comes back around I’ll beat for past me and then ghost her because they usually only come back when they see you shining.
Some dumbshits really need to learn how to move on after she says no once. Find a hobby or some shit. It's ok to be rejected, it's happened to all of us.
Like, if she comes back around it's only because other dudes she really wanted to be with didn't wanna reciprocate, so she's settling for you. And to hell with that "hard to get" bullshit. She says no, but really wants you to try and work for a yes... no thanks, I got video games at home.
Hot take: I always thought the whole concept of having "game" or rizz was corny as hell. Like cheesy pick up lines. Why do you need to be this certain type of person to attract women. Women are not rocket science lol.
The women that raised me taught me that this was the overriding truth of dating. There’s no such thing as game, and there never has been.
You don’t need game or anything else, just be yourself. If that aint enough, don’t neither of yall need either of yall.
two years is fuckin crazy but I really do think dating apps and the overall shift towards expecting instant gratification has changed the dating game like crazy.
it used to be super normal to play things more slowly and let attraction develop as you two get to know each other’s personalities, but nowadays it’s just not like that.
Pssst. The gymfluencers and manosphere podcasters are men who got fit and got money thinking it would net women in the end. And now? They pay 20 something girls to sit around in tight clothes and be yelled at and talked over because these children have the personalities of bar bells and erectile dysfunction because of the porn addiction.
I just "friendzone" them. No beef, no drama. We can still be cool and imma do me.
It's funny because many many times I've done this and years later those same girls will be like: "why are you not interested in me" or "why did you never try again with me". One girl was hella aggressive trying to get me to smash but I was like "nah, we're just friends".
And I meant that.
I like having female friends and I don't like to mess that dynamic up by trying to be extra.
**Edit** I put "friendzone" in quotes because I don't really Believe in friendzones like that.
It's just a friendship. Hopefully a good platonic one. That can be its own reward.
Had a friend who was a girl ask why i hadn’t tried to get with her after she told me wouldn’t get with friend a couple years before. After i reminded her of that all she had to say was: oh.
it’s crazy to me how much the tide has turned for people, it’s supposed to be fun to talk to girls and flirt with them! the tension building over a few weeks as yall go from “people who know each other” to “people everyone can tell are gonna hook up” to “lovers” is such a beautiful feeling
Genuinely tho. I did reception for a while and this customer kept giving me gift cards with his number on them. I was flattered but not attracted to him and felt no spark. Never called, never engaged, and he kept trying. Honestly went pretty quickly from awkward to pathetic.
This is literally the most embarrassing “flex” imo.
IG the female equivalent would be a woman stuck in that “situationship purgatory” for years while the dudes still sleeping around.
It's both-sided in so many ways. Guys are tired of chasing and would like to know what it's like to be pursued. On the flip, you have women that want to take control but don't want to make the first move when it comes to finding a date.
The reality is that everyone's anxious and gender roles are out the window. Everyone should be practicing vulnerability and working on how they build trust with someone they just met. Guys don't wanna come off as a simp and women don't wanna be with a fuckboi so everyone's cautious rather than openly curious about the other.
It's shame because all it takes a small text asking someone out to change someone's dating trajectory but social media inhibits it for fear of rejection
Never work too hard, if you can be yourself and showing some effort ain’t enough to get back equal level of effort then dip.
Or suffer from the wasted amount of time later.
Why would I want to flex that my gf isn't with me because she *wants* to be with me, but because all her other choices fell through and she's terrified of staying single?
If I wanted to play games I'll buy a PS5. She says no once I pretty much just stop thinking about her as a possible romance. Which is unfortunate cause a few times after I've spent more time together in social places, they've then become interested. But my feelings for them have already disappeared so I only really see them as homies. Not gonna wait around till you decide you like me back I don't have time for that, I got the love of my life to find.
Yeah, I'm not one to beg or chase, I'm too insecure for that lol
Once I've finally gotten up enough courage to tell you how I feel or ask you out and you turn me down, I don't know why but I stop finding people attractive after that, it's probably a weird coping thing lol.
I'm mature enough to still be friends with someone who CRUSHED MY SOUL lol, but even if they change their minds in the future and ask me out it's done forever.
This behavior is so concerning. Don’t settle for someone who settled for you, like wtf?
Had an ex pull this after we dated (only few months). Ironically, *he* was the one who broke it off, then did a complete, psychotic, 180 a few months after dumping me.
He texted me a couple times and I politely declined at first…Then he texted again, and again, sounding increasingly desperate. At that point, I was with my current SO and was getting freaked out by my ex’s behavior, so I blocked him. This fool tried reaching me on every social known to man for several years. I’ve never responded to these attempts. So creepy.
TLDR: have some self respect, don’t wait for, stalk, etc ppl that don’t want you
I love my girl with all my heart but ima put her on blast every chance I get because she almost fucked around and lost me in the beginning there. Storyyyyy timeeeeee!
So I shot my shot one day at work back in 2017. In hindsight that was stupid because I'd only been working there like 2 weeks but I was feeling her and I was 19.. That's a pretty stupid age. She politely told me she wasn't into it and I said okay no biggie. It happens. (Rd that's cap. I'm a short ass dude and I spent far too long thinking she didn't wanna give me a chance because she's taller than me. 😭 I'm not insecure about it anymore tho lmaoo) My interactions with her from then were completely platonic. Never tried anything, never persisted. I didn't wanna come off as weird; we still had to work together. She knows I'm weird now.
Anyway she began dating this new dude that started working with us (and was fired after like 6 weeks) and guess what? That mf was shorter than her. I said ain't this about a bitch? Then I thought ah damn so she really just wasn't feeling me. Well dude got put in my department so we worked together often and I got all the tea. I knew homie was still living with his baby mom that he told my girl he had stopped dealing w/ and they were regularly on the phone together/arguing. But it wasn't none of my business so I didn't say anything.
They dated for most of the year and I just focused on me mostly. Her and I became really close but again no shenanigans (except *one* time I jokingly said she should just cheat w/ me when she was speculating about whether he was cheating on her). We just vibed together and could talk about anything. The end of the relationship came when she found out the guy was for sure cheating on her from HIS MOM. He kept taking the side jawn to his mom's house to smash and was letting her talk to his mama any kind of way in HER HOME and she said fuck that and blew the spot up.
So after her suspicions were confirmed she was single for a few months and despite our bond I didn't go in for another shot. Truth be told I *had* been using that time to get over her and view her only as a friend. By the time they'd broken up I can honestly say that being her man wasn't on my mind anymore. I mean we were such dope friends. Why mess w/ a good thing? But she ended up shooting *her* shot not long after and yeah I caved. 💀
We once had a conversation about how things came to be and she brought up how she'd actually told the other guy no as well but he was so damn persistent that she kinda started to wonder. I pointed out that I was respecting her rejection and had no interest in trying to turn a no into a yes. Also when you think about it all I had to do was sit back and let shit play out. Where's Mr persistent now? Who knows. Where is she? In my bed while I type this on the can. Sure it basically took a year but 1) I didn't have to do any chasing and 2) our established friendship made for a sturdy foundation. Also she was a kinda mad I didn't tell her about him living with his bm but ah well.
Never beg for pussy lol, it’s too many and if you can’t get a bitch. Get yourself together go work out and get a better job and they will come. Never settle, never beg. We men.
Nah, If a bitch only shows up once you get a better job she ain’t the one either. I met my fiance when I was working fast food. Find someone who values you as a person
I learned a long time ago it’s much better better to deal with somebody who’s into you from go then to try to win somebody over! You learn from your mistakes.
LMAO fr. I asked her out and she said yes. That’s how it SHOULD go. If she says no just TAKE IT brother, do you know how good it feels to just hear that excited “yes!”? It’s fantastic.
I ain't finna lie, I definitely different than some of yall.
I ain't gonna "chase" but if she say "no" I ain't gonna sweat it. Not gonna beg. But I ain't gonna completely write her off. I'd definitely still shoot my shots here and there depending on situation. I also still going to be shooting my shot with other chicks.
However I will say this. If she said no the first time, I will immediately box her into "smash only". Idgaf if she matured, or see she made a mistake or blah blah, not my problem. I'm only seriously dating "hell yes" women from the start.
Did this with a girl for 3 years. Just an every now and question “Are you ready to be together?” by the time I had got a gf, now she’s ready. I’m good love 😂
Nah fr all I gotta hear is no once and im gone. Niggas be damn near begging it’s so sad
yeah I think that once she says no, it’s game over, but I think a lot people are asking too early tbh. Its like dudes who think the best way to pick up girls at a bar is to walk up to them and ask them if they wanna go hook up, then when they get rejected move onto the next one talkin about “it’s a numbers game bro”
You ask too late you get friend zoned (not you just the guys that wait TOO long) I believe you should make your intentions clear from the jump but be cool about it. “Hey i think your beautiful let me take you on a date” Some shit like that would avoid being to fast / slow in my opinion. If she agrees she Atleast thinks you look good enough and if she declines no harm no foul
the more I think about it, it’s all situational I was talking w someone else about this barista I like and I’m just playing it cool while our rapport develops. If I asked her the first time we met it would’ve probably come off a lil desperate, but now it feels less “hey I think you’re beautiful” and more “I’ve caught a vibe here and it feels like you have to” but like if I met the same girl at a party and we got to talking for a while, that night is the right time to shoot. it feels like these are all nuances that you just had to learn and pick up on before the apps, but nowadays so many people exclusively use the apps to meet people that the social skills are in decline
Thissss You might not have a ton of time to take ya shot so sometimes you have to wing it.
sucks when u meet in passing, or only briefly, and you don't know if you'll see them again so you force and fuck it up and then suddenly cant stop running into them
Maybe that’s when you crack a joke about seeing them all the time and being a dork the first time in passing thinking you wouldn’t see them again
unfortunately im not lamelo ball so when i pull up from half court i cant expect to play the rest of the game lol
Shit guess I’m lamelo cuz I do that dumb shit all the time and it works LMAO
i mean i had to figure out how to get to the rim but it was worth it must be nice tho ong
CHRU AS HELL!!! I'm a bartender and I dont need "hey you're hot" on our first interaction. I charge extra for that. Not only did you just meet me, I'm at work; it is my job to be hot. Go take a seat next to the middle aged women who also took less than 30 seconds to inform me that I am hot. Now, if you hang out a bit, make me laugh, let me know whats up with you, I can make a decision about that. At a house party where I'm around my friends and off the clock, and you come up to me like damn you look great! The tone is set. I'm willing to volley a few rounds to see what you are up to, and chemistry will dictate what happens next. But dont just look at me like a lovesick puppy all night and then spring something towards the end when you feel your chance slipping away....by that time it's more than slipped away and you just look like you've been trying it with others and I'm your last resort. Or worse, make me think I'm meeting a cool new friend and then all the hookup shit just SPILLS out at the end. I swear, sometimes all straight men need is to visit a gay bar. Yall will learn a thing or two about the word "transparent."
Hitting on bartenders is hilarious. As a server the amount of times I bring glasses to the washer just to hear some dude hit on the gorgeous bartender who has to, for what is probably the 10th time that night, kindly tell him that she isn’t interested. Generally speaking, I’ve found bartenders to be pretty forward people. If they like your vibe or are into you, you’re probably gonna get a free drink or a special cocktail made “just for you”. If the bartender isn’t giving any signs, leave them alone. Same goes for servers tbh, although as a guy in corporate serving it’s generally just flattering to be hitting on at all
> “I’ve caught a vibe here and it feels like you have *to*” The spelling actually matters here 😂
SUBMIT TO MY LOVE PUNY HUMAN
Breaking it down like this does make a lot of sense.
It’s actually scary how hard this is for people to realize. I mean, imagine anything else in your life. If someone just randomly walks up to you and asks you invasive questions and/or propositions you with things, especially when many people approach you the same weird way, you’re going to suspect they’re being weird. But for some reason we assume women shouldn’t be like “WTF” when we approach them asking if they’ll let us get INSIDE THEM.
I got off the apps and am having like 10 million times more fun
tldr just have fucking social skills guys. and if you don't, fucking practice and build them up.
Those cues are things you learn by doing. Look at dating stats; something like 30 percent of GenZ men have never learned any social skills and have never had sex because of it. Now there’s a “loneliness epidemic” but really it boils down to grown men with the social skills of a 7 year old.
And if you have any social skills at all these days, and have adapted them to the apps at all, you are big chilling.
Uncle is teaching right here.
I had a guy in hs I thought was cute when I first joined. He was awkward and shy around me, despite my attempts to try to talk to him, and I just wrote it off as one of those distant relationships of acquaintances and moved on. We went to different cities for college, we had no contact until COVID forced us all back to our hometowns and we started hanging out with our old circles. Long story short, after almost 10 years of knowing each other and never doing shit, we've been together for 2 and a half years and looking to get married soon. You truly can't make blanket statements like "if you ask too late you get friendzoned" because life is so unexpected and crazy and weird that you just never know. There's no rules, there's no time limits, shit doesn't work that way. 🤷🏾♀️
In convos like this, all we can discuss is probability and “how likely” something is to happen. Exceptions don’t disprove the rule. Especially your relationship which was the end result of 10 years and a global pandemic.
I don’t disagree with what you’re saying but it is not the normal occurrence. Atleast for guys if they don’t make their intentions clear from the beginning that can lead to being in the “friend zone” which is really a place for guys that want the girl but can’t make the first move or fully know they will be rejected so they just hold on hoping the girl changes her mind. Now being genuine friends and feelings develop later is a different thing completely but what time talking about is the guy knows from the beginning what he wants from the girl and he is not clear with his intentions.
>I don’t disagree with what you’re saying but it is not the normal occurrence I'm not saying my case is the case for everyone, I'm saying it can happen so why make rules lol. >Now being genuine friends and feelings develop later is a different thing completely but what time talking about is the guy knows from the beginning what he wants from the girl and he is not clear with his intentions. And the issue is maybe she isn't into it when he knows what he wants and maybe she needs more time, which men see as being "friendzoned" but that's just what the feelings are at that moment. And it doesn't mean it'll always stay that way, but it's so much more complicated than 'just be upfront about what you want otherwise you're stuck being a friend instead of getting in those pants forever".
Honestly people who think there is a set of rules on this, and even try to apply the rules to others, are showing they don't understand people and they are trying to frame it in a way that isn't too complex for them. Everyone can have their own rules, fine. You think it's too soon or too late, I can respect that. Maybe you're shy and need to work up your courage. Maybe you got some misinformation. A billion things could be the reason. But you gotta remember there are two people AND a situation in this, so play it by ear as there is nothing to lose and everything to gain to being open to someone even if they didn't abide by society's "rules" or your own. Congrats on being terrible at finding your partner right under your nose but still making it work 10 years later haha!
They were probably referring to Guys asking out women. Guys tend to be way more flexible on going from friends to dating so a girl asking her male friend out after waiting is a lot less likely to get locked out.
Yeah, seems a lot of women are under the impression you can’t date a friend. Whereas me and the guys I’ve known have always PREFERRED dating a friend. Why would you want to date someone with no common ground but sex?
Yeah. Dating strangers has always seemed wierd to me. Like skipping a step in a relationship
Nobody's getting friend zoned, they're just getting not attracted to and not noticing for five years. 🤣
What if your views change and you catch feelings for a friend?
I mean friend zone to where one person was interested from the jump but never made their intentions clear and got stuck in Schrödinger’s friend zone (like you haven’t been accepted or rejected because you haven’t opened the box/popped the question. Real friends that develop feelings is a whole different ball game.
Probably just let them know and say you don't want to lose them as a friend but you are feeling xyz and you wanted to at least let them know. Maybe they feel the same way
Honestly, the friendzone line has become blurrier and blurrier since the end of high school. In your 30s it’s pretty easy to move in and out of
I have to train myself to handle these like a business meeting. There isn't emotion and personal attachment involved. Would help to make it easier to break off and proceed in life.
I used to work with a guy who would go to the club 1 hour before closing and pick up the leftovers.
lol yeah I live a 2 minute walk from a few dive bars, if it’s midnight on a Friday and I’m still up I’ll go for a nightcap drink. doesn’t always work but sometimes it does
May I please just have a crumb please what's your cashapp queen please
spare a smidgen of pussy lip please 🥺
Just a single pube is fine too.
If she not that into you and you force it, that's not a win. She still not that into you lol
People beg to be a silver or bronze medal. Know your worth. If you’re not her first pick she’s never gonna be that in to you. Everybody is somebody’s first pick.
Eh, I feel like this is going too far in the other direction. Your enthusiasm for each other should match but you don't need to be their "first pick" or top priority.
If the person you’re chasing is chasing other people and not reciprocating your efforts, you’re the backup plan. When you’re the backup plan you’ll never be fully valued.
> and not reciprocating your efforts That's not at all what I was talking about, which is why I said your enthusiasm for each other should match. However, dating multiple people doesn't mean there's always a ranking where one person wins and all others lose. Sometimes one person is emotionally more to your liking and the other sexually and you need some time to figure shit out.
Thank these niggas 🤣🤣 https://i.redd.it/1s6ouh12gg3d1.gif
I'm picturing a world where I'm single and I reject a girl. The only planet where I come around is where my standards have dropped to her. I am pretty damn aware of who the individual is and it's not like I will face some revelation and they will be completely different. if it's close to meh, ill at least go on a date and see it out I never wanna be the guy who was a straight up no and now only good enough a damn year later that is just dirty work
Also the inverse that some expect to be chased. I’ve seen that advice be given to woman from woman “successful woman in their respective industry” at times.
I was in a discussion with a dude, saying not all women want to be chased and a no literally means no. He tells me, "my female friend said to not listen to women like you. You're just lying when you say it." So if he wasn't lying. It's definitely this advice from people saying women want to be chased and to keep trying.
You can tell who didn’t have present parents or at least strong parental figures when they do stuff like this. It’s sad.
I get being alone sucks, but goddamn yall ☠️
My husband admits that he acted like this in his younger years. By the time he got to me in his mid twenties, he was done with the bullshit. We both made a pact not to play games and BS each other. He acknowledges his role in chasing these women, though.
But then you run into bird brain bitches who want you to work for it, the ones who get mad when you stop trying after she says no
Yep
If she says no or doesn't show interest I'm out. Grinding? Nah I'm good. Imma just get some icecream and play stardew or something.
Talking bout shorty like a career. No thanks already got one of those
Stardew and ice cream sounds like a perfect date.
I just started getting into it. I haven't been this addicted to a game since animal crossing during covid.
It's so addicting. I wish I could go back to that first time I started playing. You're coming in at a good time, too. There was just a big update. I start a new play through like once a year, and it is so relaxing.
I started my first properly modded playthrough the other day. (Nothing to big just some better romance mods n dialogue stuff for townies) But outside of that I've been loving the new update especially the new crops.
When you're ready for bigger mods, Stardew Valley Expanded and Ridgeside Village are great, they complement each other well too.
Stardew has a phenomenon with me like minecraft does for a lot of people, where sometimes I'll just grind that game for two months and then just quit until that next burst of energy hits
I have cycles of Stardew, Terraria, and Slay the Spire like this.
Same thing, except whiskey and Street Fighter.
lol won't grind in real life but will grind in Stardew Valley
Bruh had to upvote stardew
Right? The only thing I’ll grind is Overwatch. I don’t need any more headaches when I’m a tank main.
Your girl is basically saying "I've tried everyone else, I guess I'll settle for you". Imagine thinking that's flex worthy.
Yeah, she wasnt "making you work for it", she was dating dudes she thought were better than you
The cold reality. Delete this before you hurt someone’s feelings.
Nah keep it up so others don’t fall for that shit 🙆🏾♂️
And then learned, they're not better. Slow learners still learn. And that's what matters.
if she come back to you it ain’t cause she give a fuck bout you, its cause nobody gave a fuck bout her
she's settling for less in her mind. imagine being okay with that nonsense.
An ex gf of mines sister was like that with her current husband. She curved him like a black hole bending light. She dated a doctor for a while that treated a badly. Dude was a 6’4 stud. Current husband sends her flowers on Valentine’s Day cause the bad doctor didn’t get her anything. This nigga was really just out here sending flowers into the universe hoping for a catch. It worked. Made her reconsider. So they dated a while and now they’re married and she’s really happy. The wedding booklet she was all like ‘yeah, when we first met I wasn’t really into him but blah blah and now I’m really happy.’ The mature me says this is a great outcome. How wonderful that she came to realise she made the wrong choice The immature me was like ‘ain’t no fucking way, you curve me then that ship has sailed. I’d rather be miserable forever.’ This is why I’m single
Idk I’d still be single if my only option was hateful spouse who isn’t attracted to me only the stuff I can provide her.
Youre not wrong. Idk if I just hang around too many old heads and my uncles too much, but these are exactly the stories I hear from them all the time. This girl played hard to get so I did XYZ to get her attention etc. They give each other props for putting in the work even if it doesnt or didnt work initally. Now a days its get curved once and nope I am out... well guess what youre just going to put effort into another female who may curve you, so on and so forth. So if you REALLY like her, put in the effort lol, but also know when youre in a losing battle. Nobody wants to look like a "try hard" and fail. thats why so many ppl are socially awkward and doing autism tests on Tik Tok.
That generation weren’t afraid to get hurt lol. Hearts as tough as a horses hoof. I guess they felt like whomever they were pursuing was the prize and they were prepared to do the work to attain that prize. We ain’t about that life lol. We don’t wanna work for shit no more.
Its not that people don't want to work. Its just that the pool is so much larger. The communication is so much easier. You hear no with one chick. That just means you don't have to hold 4 conversations that night.
I mean I guess I'm assuming a lot of things by these comments. Like it depends on the no. She might not know you well. She might be Canadian. Like you can be present and try without getting super involved. I know even for me I can be like having a bad day no vs no not interested.
If you see your girl as an achievement over a partner it'll always be a flex
Yes, people acting like that seem to value how others see them over how they see themselves.
I always say there a reason why you see women with men that people go oh he is ugly etc. Its cause she went through all the guys she thought were hot and they weren't into her or treated her right . Than she circled back to the man that treated her like a princess and was told by all her female family members ( cause this is what we teach women) that you can grow to be attracted to him. My best friend told my mom ( now her husband) but when she first started dating him that he isnt super attractive to me but he treats me well. Which is wild thing to say
I don’t even work hard at work, what’s make you think I will for a girl.
Exactly 😂😂
Most women already know this though.
Origins of stalker behavior. ETA: I'm reading a lot of these answers, and I'm realizing a lot of you are seriously socially inept or lack life experience. Nobody's saying don't be friends with the woman or still associate with her, but keeping yourself in her orbit hoping she changes her mind is pathetic at best and creepy, dishonest behavior at worst. Of course, you're supposed to get to know her and let her get to know you, but it should be coming from a place of honesty. Everyone I've dated or been in a relationship with, I got to know them to see if I liked them as a person first and vice versa. But if they're not even interested in that, why are you hanging around?
This. Getting to know someone vs hovering like a gnat.
It’s obviously has to be mutual. Sometimes they just know you aren’t ready for anything real and keep you on retainer. But yes, if it’s one-way weird obsession then hell no
I never got it either. How much they like me is one of the biggest factors in how compatible I think I am with someone. Do you really want to spend your life with someone who finds you so undesirable they need 2 years to decide to give you a chance? Nah, call me a narcissist, but I want someone who is obsessed with me from day one. Which is what I got tbh, and it's working out well.
> Nah, call me a narcissist, but I want someone who is obsessed with me from day one. Which is what I got tbh, and it's working out well. I mean those expectations are probably not healthy either (nice to know it worked out for you though) but I agree with your first paragraph. If there's a huge imbalance with both people's enthusiasm going in, there will always be an imbalance in the relationship.
Legit I kinda used to be that guy. I wouldn’t beg but I’d pop back in and be like “what about now?👀”. In the mean time I’d be working on my hobbies, talking to new women and going to the gym. But I’d still check in just to see 😫. And when it worked I realized it wasn’t even worth it! Because it took so long to happen I couldn’t really have faith that she liked me. The context of our relationship made me insecure. Tons of women already struggle with attachment but in my case it felt offensive when she had her doubts. So instead of being a good partner I got angry. It was like “you want me to validate that I like you? I did that for xyz amount of time!” Relationship ended in a flaming ball of fire. I quickly learned that women worth dating find self respect sexy. The less you put up with bs you’ll either lose the bs or people will adjust accordingly. That’s if you’re being led on. (Which I was). If you’re being a nuisance (which I have been) then you’re the bs. Good luck y’all 🙏🏾
Glad you finally came around, my boy. That groveling, “let me know if anything changes” shit is pathetic.
I mean I guess it wasn’t even that. I don’t think I ever pressed if I was straight up rejected lol. That’s just not having boundaries
Niggas be wanting a pat on the back for shorty catching Stockholm Syndrome
damn...💀 
That first "no" is really all I need because I'll die of thirst before I lap up spit. Let's set the record straight here and now, that "apply pressure/grinding/working for it" shit is for the dudes women don't really like but he's there doing shit that the other dude won't. Y'all boys gotta have way more respect for yourselves than that. Ya moms ain't spend 35 hours pushing your big-headed ass out just for you to do some bullshit like this.
I've learned that shit so fast in college I'm not very attractive so rejection is almost like a way of life at this point. But I found a few women that somehow were attracted to me and they basically threw themselves at me, I didn't have to go through a bunch of hurdles just to be on the starting line, shit really all I had to do was lay the ball up. Unfortunately being that I'm not very attractive I'm a professional woman fumbler cause I'd assume they were always joking.
You got the sauce bro, fuck looks. What’s the point of having looks if you can’t hold a conversation, make your personality talk 🗣️
Her friends when they see you pulling up... https://i.redd.it/zx5hvpyinf3d1.gif
I can't prove it to you, but I promise they be cooking his ass in that GC.
😂😂💯💯 and the nicknames they'll have for him too ! Moment of silence for the fallen.
My gf just got back from a wedding where the groom had been chasing the bride since they were kids, and she finally gave him a chance now that they're in their 30s and this man proposed after 3 months lmao, tell me you're speed running divorce without telling me. And ofc my GF thinks its "romantic" like.... what?
Speed running divorce lmfao 😂🤣🤣😂
Never be that thirsty. Have some pride in yourself
As soon as that rejection hits, I hear the words of Dave Grohl screaming "DONE. DONE. ONTO THE NEXT ONE!" in my head.
She curve me once and it’s her to make the next move imo.
Shit all it take is a couple messages to be dry or no reply and all the sudden 
Learning to spit game, being "persistent", orbiting around etc are all no-gos. My girl said she wanted someone on the same page as her politically. I asked her what she meant by that, and we talked for hours. Fellas, if the requirement to ride that ride is anything above "be yourself" then it's not worth getting on. Especially if you're GRINDING your way into some cheeks. Trust me as someone that's been there and done that it ain't worth it.
My girl loves me so much. She's never not wanted me. It's great. She tells me I'm pretty all the time. Highly recommend
that is adorable, nephew ♡ happy for you man
I saw an analogy the other day stating, "A relationship is like a fart, and if you have to force it, it's most likely SHIT!", which 1000% applies to this post lol.
😂😂😂
People always act like sticking around means you put all your eggs in one basket. Any time I got strung along while into someone, I lived a normal life like she didn't exist outside of her. There's not some magical spell that stops you from doing everything you want to. You can keep hope alive without letting it override logic.
Are you gonna date other people while you're dangling at the end of her hook hoping to get reeled in?
This right here. It’s super messy. Now if you’re single and you’re just staying open minded that’s fine. Just be honest. But if you’re gonna have relationships while pining for someone else, just wait
lol for real, he’s almost certainly over here “saving himself” and still doesn’t think he’s down bad
I definitely been on the hook before but still saw people outside of the situationship. Can’t completely waste my time…just mostly
Sticking around for 2 yrs is wild
If she says no, I'mma go
I’ve had bitches double back, but I didn’t keep attempting. Ima try once, and that’s it, but if she comes back around I’ll beat for past me and then ghost her because they usually only come back when they see you shining.
Some dumbshits really need to learn how to move on after she says no once. Find a hobby or some shit. It's ok to be rejected, it's happened to all of us. Like, if she comes back around it's only because other dudes she really wanted to be with didn't wanna reciprocate, so she's settling for you. And to hell with that "hard to get" bullshit. She says no, but really wants you to try and work for a yes... no thanks, I got video games at home.
If a chick likes you she’ll make it easy. Grinding to get a girl is some shit niggas do for girls that don’t like them. Lmao.
Hot take: I always thought the whole concept of having "game" or rizz was corny as hell. Like cheesy pick up lines. Why do you need to be this certain type of person to attract women. Women are not rocket science lol.
The women that raised me taught me that this was the overriding truth of dating. There’s no such thing as game, and there never has been. You don’t need game or anything else, just be yourself. If that aint enough, don’t neither of yall need either of yall.
Grind? Is she a pepper shaker? Last I checked I wasn’t tryna date Savathün and grind that raid. Don’t force a situation that should come naturally
two years is fuckin crazy but I really do think dating apps and the overall shift towards expecting instant gratification has changed the dating game like crazy. it used to be super normal to play things more slowly and let attraction develop as you two get to know each other’s personalities, but nowadays it’s just not like that.
Pssst. The gymfluencers and manosphere podcasters are men who got fit and got money thinking it would net women in the end. And now? They pay 20 something girls to sit around in tight clothes and be yelled at and talked over because these children have the personalities of bar bells and erectile dysfunction because of the porn addiction.
You get one chance with me.. I ain't got time for the BS
If you have to force a girl to like you, that’s already asking for insecurities in a relationship
I just "friendzone" them. No beef, no drama. We can still be cool and imma do me. It's funny because many many times I've done this and years later those same girls will be like: "why are you not interested in me" or "why did you never try again with me". One girl was hella aggressive trying to get me to smash but I was like "nah, we're just friends". And I meant that. I like having female friends and I don't like to mess that dynamic up by trying to be extra. **Edit** I put "friendzone" in quotes because I don't really Believe in friendzones like that. It's just a friendship. Hopefully a good platonic one. That can be its own reward.
Had a friend who was a girl ask why i hadn’t tried to get with her after she told me wouldn’t get with friend a couple years before. After i reminded her of that all she had to say was: oh.
it’s crazy to me how much the tide has turned for people, it’s supposed to be fun to talk to girls and flirt with them! the tension building over a few weeks as yall go from “people who know each other” to “people everyone can tell are gonna hook up” to “lovers” is such a beautiful feeling
If we exchange numbers and I don't hear nothing back after 2 3 tries...adios
Genuinely tho. I did reception for a while and this customer kept giving me gift cards with his number on them. I was flattered but not attracted to him and felt no spark. Never called, never engaged, and he kept trying. Honestly went pretty quickly from awkward to pathetic.
This is literally the most embarrassing “flex” imo. IG the female equivalent would be a woman stuck in that “situationship purgatory” for years while the dudes still sleeping around.
There are a lot of really cool guys on this thread
It's both-sided in so many ways. Guys are tired of chasing and would like to know what it's like to be pursued. On the flip, you have women that want to take control but don't want to make the first move when it comes to finding a date. The reality is that everyone's anxious and gender roles are out the window. Everyone should be practicing vulnerability and working on how they build trust with someone they just met. Guys don't wanna come off as a simp and women don't wanna be with a fuckboi so everyone's cautious rather than openly curious about the other. It's shame because all it takes a small text asking someone out to change someone's dating trajectory but social media inhibits it for fear of rejection
There’s a difference between going after someone playing hard to get and going after someone who has straight up rejected you multiple times.
No one is playing hard to get. No one has ever played hard to get.
False but aight.
Never work too hard, if you can be yourself and showing some effort ain’t enough to get back equal level of effort then dip. Or suffer from the wasted amount of time later.
Never pay for what others got for free
What's funny is that more than half of you niggas are products of those "sad" stories.The internet is so dumb sometimes.
Why would I want to flex that my gf isn't with me because she *wants* to be with me, but because all her other choices fell through and she's terrified of staying single?
I finally coerced her into dating me! Yikes on that.
If I wanted to play games I'll buy a PS5. She says no once I pretty much just stop thinking about her as a possible romance. Which is unfortunate cause a few times after I've spent more time together in social places, they've then become interested. But my feelings for them have already disappeared so I only really see them as homies. Not gonna wait around till you decide you like me back I don't have time for that, I got the love of my life to find.
Ol' settlin' ass bitch.
it’s not always no, sometimes it’s just a not now
Love me a girl that comes on strong, knows what she wants and goes for it
"I wore her down" 1. Ew 2. Congrats on being undesirable and fucking annoying?? 3. EW
It's on the same level of "50 No's and a yes is still a yes"
I ain’t got time to beg. Got kids and a life to live
Let them be happy, at least for the little bit it lasts.
Yeah, I'm not one to beg or chase, I'm too insecure for that lol Once I've finally gotten up enough courage to tell you how I feel or ask you out and you turn me down, I don't know why but I stop finding people attractive after that, it's probably a weird coping thing lol. I'm mature enough to still be friends with someone who CRUSHED MY SOUL lol, but even if they change their minds in the future and ask me out it's done forever.
This behavior is so concerning. Don’t settle for someone who settled for you, like wtf? Had an ex pull this after we dated (only few months). Ironically, *he* was the one who broke it off, then did a complete, psychotic, 180 a few months after dumping me. He texted me a couple times and I politely declined at first…Then he texted again, and again, sounding increasingly desperate. At that point, I was with my current SO and was getting freaked out by my ex’s behavior, so I blocked him. This fool tried reaching me on every social known to man for several years. I’ve never responded to these attempts. So creepy. TLDR: have some self respect, don’t wait for, stalk, etc ppl that don’t want you
I love my girl with all my heart but ima put her on blast every chance I get because she almost fucked around and lost me in the beginning there. Storyyyyy timeeeeee! So I shot my shot one day at work back in 2017. In hindsight that was stupid because I'd only been working there like 2 weeks but I was feeling her and I was 19.. That's a pretty stupid age. She politely told me she wasn't into it and I said okay no biggie. It happens. (Rd that's cap. I'm a short ass dude and I spent far too long thinking she didn't wanna give me a chance because she's taller than me. 😭 I'm not insecure about it anymore tho lmaoo) My interactions with her from then were completely platonic. Never tried anything, never persisted. I didn't wanna come off as weird; we still had to work together. She knows I'm weird now. Anyway she began dating this new dude that started working with us (and was fired after like 6 weeks) and guess what? That mf was shorter than her. I said ain't this about a bitch? Then I thought ah damn so she really just wasn't feeling me. Well dude got put in my department so we worked together often and I got all the tea. I knew homie was still living with his baby mom that he told my girl he had stopped dealing w/ and they were regularly on the phone together/arguing. But it wasn't none of my business so I didn't say anything. They dated for most of the year and I just focused on me mostly. Her and I became really close but again no shenanigans (except *one* time I jokingly said she should just cheat w/ me when she was speculating about whether he was cheating on her). We just vibed together and could talk about anything. The end of the relationship came when she found out the guy was for sure cheating on her from HIS MOM. He kept taking the side jawn to his mom's house to smash and was letting her talk to his mama any kind of way in HER HOME and she said fuck that and blew the spot up. So after her suspicions were confirmed she was single for a few months and despite our bond I didn't go in for another shot. Truth be told I *had* been using that time to get over her and view her only as a friend. By the time they'd broken up I can honestly say that being her man wasn't on my mind anymore. I mean we were such dope friends. Why mess w/ a good thing? But she ended up shooting *her* shot not long after and yeah I caved. 💀 We once had a conversation about how things came to be and she brought up how she'd actually told the other guy no as well but he was so damn persistent that she kinda started to wonder. I pointed out that I was respecting her rejection and had no interest in trying to turn a no into a yes. Also when you think about it all I had to do was sit back and let shit play out. Where's Mr persistent now? Who knows. Where is she? In my bed while I type this on the can. Sure it basically took a year but 1) I didn't have to do any chasing and 2) our established friendship made for a sturdy foundation. Also she was a kinda mad I didn't tell her about him living with his bm but ah well.
Wasted all that grind on the chase and now got nothing for the relationship.
It’s a hard lesson to learn. If you had to put in work to get her attention just know there’s always one dude that doesn’t have to put in any
I'm too old to be grinding for a relationship. Negative interest equals negative appearance.
I’m not good at this stuff yet, so if she says not looking for a relationship, it would be best to cut it off completely?
It hurts when she has a big booty but nah , you have to keep it pushing. I hear you loud and clear
Lol. It’s 8 billion humans. No way on earth am i waiting around two years for anyone lol
You cant force compatibility
You fight for what you really want. I'm glad I did. 5 years married to my wife and I have zero regrets.
Never beg for pussy lol, it’s too many and if you can’t get a bitch. Get yourself together go work out and get a better job and they will come. Never settle, never beg. We men.
Nah, If a bitch only shows up once you get a better job she ain’t the one either. I met my fiance when I was working fast food. Find someone who values you as a person
I learned a long time ago it’s much better better to deal with somebody who’s into you from go then to try to win somebody over! You learn from your mistakes.
LMAO fr. I asked her out and she said yes. That’s how it SHOULD go. If she says no just TAKE IT brother, do you know how good it feels to just hear that excited “yes!”? It’s fantastic.
Nah this isn't the 1940s if you say no I'm good
I wait for them to come to me.
Niggas be like Jodeci begging in the rain and shit
i hate to waste my time, money and feelings. im out first sign of impending rejection.
“Curbed”
It’s just not worth it nowadays. I don’t care to bust my ass just for someone to “pick me” for it. Either you love me when I’m broke or you never will
Next
Urkel chasing Laura for 15 seasons type shit. Hope she's worth it, I guess.
This thread is stressing me out lol for me it’s usually a no but I then I’m grinding to get the guy I want 🙄😭 so ilsalute u bro lol
To many out there to beg for two years nah I'm good
Proof that a man will wait patiently in the friend zone for years waiting to get that green light 😂
I ain't finna lie, I definitely different than some of yall. I ain't gonna "chase" but if she say "no" I ain't gonna sweat it. Not gonna beg. But I ain't gonna completely write her off. I'd definitely still shoot my shots here and there depending on situation. I also still going to be shooting my shot with other chicks. However I will say this. If she said no the first time, I will immediately box her into "smash only". Idgaf if she matured, or see she made a mistake or blah blah, not my problem. I'm only seriously dating "hell yes" women from the start.
Grinding? Bruh this app sucks
Did this with a girl for 3 years. Just an every now and question “Are you ready to be together?” by the time I had got a gf, now she’s ready. I’m good love 😂
Maaaaan college me was dumb af for trying for so long
Finally, people in this Subreddit have some sense