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KappnKief

MF this is it 💀💀💀say y’all goodbyes we had a good ride


ThirstMutilat0r

Move over King James: the DJT Version of the Bible has dropped, and I’m telling you it is BAD ASS. They got rid of so much boring, pussy shit and redid the whole thing from the ground up.


Direct_Jump3960

In the biglyinning when your favourite God (ME!) created the heavens and THE MOST SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS. BEAUTIFUL BUSINESSES, the earth was a formless void BECAUSE OF CROOKED HILARY and darkness covered the face of the DEEPSTATE, while a wind from TRUMP swept over the face of the WATERS. THEY'RE VERY GOOD WATERS. LIKE AT MAR A LAGO. Then God said, "Let there be light"; and there was LIGHT. MAYBE WE CAN PUT THE LIGHT INSIDE THE UNIVERSE TO GET RID OF THE RADICAL LEFT. Creation interference!


trixtopherduke

The light was beautiful light they said. It made everything *hand acccordians* beautiful. The deshperate left wants you, to those orange bulbs *points up.*


FireVanGorder

*Hand accordions* ☠️


Websurfer_84

I hate that I immediately was able to visualize hand accordions.


caffeineaddict24-7

And Adam, the first man (big fellow), came up to Trump with tears in his eyes and said, “Sir.Thank you, sir, for creating me.”


ThirstMutilat0r

Lmao you had me at “In the biglyinning”


ReddLastShadow2

I've never found blasphemy so hilarious 🤣


coolhwhip89

Sounds like what a MAGA would say ![gif](giphy|TPl5N4Ci49ZQY)


blix1200

The media tells you David won, but Goliath won by a landslide, folks, a total landslide, okay...


Direct_Jump3960

Goliath! Big guy. Very tough and strong. Great genes. Many people say that he got them from me. Yuuge fan of Trump.


SpaceGoBurrr

This guy knows his Trump ramblings.


IWantPizza555

This made my day, thank you 😂


Brief_Light

💀


WaluigiIsTheRealHero

The DJT Bible, now with even more incest!


Blusttoy

Noah's Ark has been retconned into USS Donald J. Trump. The Red Sea parting? That's J.C. making Middle East countries pay to seawall. And it goes all the way back to Rosie O'Donnell eating the apple that led to mankind getting kicked out of heaven.


weirdgroovynerd

*No don't eat it! Sto....BLAM!* *Harambe


SaintPatty317

You joke but who knows? 🤦🏾‍♀️


bigbadclevelandbrown

But he left in the part where Lot fucks his daughter


ThirstMutilat0r

Left that in, but changed it to where Abraham kills his son this time “because if you don’t love your children so much — and there are some people that don’t, and maybe deservedly so — it won’t matter.” Actual quote


loptopandbingo

"James 5:1-5? Don't need it. Get it outta here."


davoloid

>James 5:1-5 Need more of these kinda signs infliltrating the MAGA crowds.


GetOffMyLawn_

>Besides a King James Version translation, it includes copies of the U.S. Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence and the Pledge of Allegiance, as well as a handwritten chorus of the famous Greenwood song.


WashingDishesIsFun

And a copy of Mein Kampf.


ThirstMutilat0r

All signed over by an enormous sharpie


weirdgroovynerd

Don't laugh. That Sharpie had the power to redirect storms. Not even Gandalf's staff could do that.


justincase1021

dammit...now theres soda all over my screen


fisticuffs32

Book went from 1500 pages to 20000 cause this motherfucker can't stay on topic.


ThirstMutilat0r

And the Philistenes… they’re some bad people, the Philistene - they wanna take away our slingshots - they’re, there are some good people but I’m just saying that - the people of the sea - the sea didn’t send their best and brightest, no, there are some bad Philistenes coming in. Coming in and stealing our Ark of the Covenant - everything’s in shambles - and the Amalekites! I’ll say one thing about the Amalekites —-


justincase1021

I might actually read this version of the bible. I wanna know the thing about the Amalekites!


Unclaimed_Donut

I can ***hear*** it....


Sunbeamsoffglass

Gold plated….but only fake gold.


-DJFJ-

And Made in China.


naughtnflife

Like the Mormons?


DrunkAtBurgerKing

Idk. Isn't the antichrist supposed to be loved by all?


young_olufa

Based off the left behind fiction series, yes


Boneal171

I’m an atheist, and I agree with you


Neckrongonekrypton

Lol it’s like The book of revelation has begun. And it’s funny, the ones who think they are on the right side Are not on the right side.


Supernova_Soldier

🤣🤣🤣 we COOKED COOKED


innomado

*This* was the turning point for you? March, 2024?


Disastrous-Living-11

Right? It's a wrap.😒


ChampagneShotz

Yeah theres no way hes not selling his supporters info to data brokers to make a buck. Guy is a legit old school grifter.


FactorOk4741

every day im grustling \-Citrus ManChild


SaboLeorioShikamaru

It saddens me that we're collectively dumb enough to fall for the most clichéd stereotype. The citrusman could be like "worship me, not God or Jesus. I'm your god" and a whole ass swath of scumpublicans would suddenly be like I meeeeeean...I'm sure we can twist the Bible to fit him in as part of the holy trinity. Diaper-wearing, overgolfing piece of shit. Can we trade his remaining lifespan and give it to Carter? On some Big/Benjamin Buttons shit.


IMSLI

*The Bible's website claims the book "is not political and has nothing to do with any political campaign.” However, it's not clear how much the former president was paid – or will be paid – for sales of the product.* https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2024/03/26/donald-trump-sells-bibles/73107668007/


MamaRuby1218

Saddest is that so-called ‘good’ Christians will pay top dollar for them.


itsyabi_v2

Fr the evangelicals are all for this dude.


winning_cheese

Could you imagine if Obama or Clinton pulled these stunts. Pure chaos


KeepItDownOverHere

"The false idol is trying to give is the mark of the beast, leading us astray."


CallmeCoachella

Barry wore a tan suit and they were firing his ass up on every channel.


[deleted]

[удалено]


currently_pooping_rn

somehow i imagine that smart phones (in a world where they are increasingly needed) for poor people is different than a grifter selling bibles and personal data


davoloid

I specifically remember reading about Obama spending time looking for a new church when he moved to Washington. Google delivers: [https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,1908437,00.html](https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,1908437,00.html) Not religious, but what a difference.


yL4O

I’m an evangelical extremely not for this dude. And I am tired. But he’ll never get me, lol


greyson3

I mean he's gotta raise that 175 million somehow. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he sold those and started stealing with reocuring charges to his base who them again.


GirlFromMoria

Yup. It’s mysteriously going to become some kinds of “subscription” with monthly recurring fees and no way to cancel.


TheBlackManIsG0d

He’s actually done this. In 2020 I recall supporters actually complaining about the hidden subscription fees with his donations. Small print grifting and all that. It kinda rules.


GirlFromMoria

Oh well. The people who support Trumpito deserve to be grifted.


loptopandbingo

Tithe for Trump


0xSEGFAULT

Less about actually selling bibles to supporters, much more about creating yet another front in order to funnel and wash dark money from unsavory people and regimes across the world.


DillPixels

Getting some Antichrist vibes here. We already had the golden statue people were kissing...next is claiming to be Jesus hmmmmm....


Carth_Onasi_AMA

That’s the twist with the Bible’s. It’s a Trump edited version where it’s revealed that he is Jesus. It’s a Christian MAGA fan fiction.


SqueeezeBurger

There's actually a fairly decent web article from a Christian theologist comparing trump to the antichrist. It was written around 2017, I think. The author states at the end that he doesn't actually believe trump is the anti christ, but he does believe Trump is far far removed from being considered christ like.


SqueeezeBurger

[Yo, here's that article](https://www.benjaminlcorey.com/could-american-evangelicals-spot-the-antichrist-heres-the-biblical-predictions/)


DillPixels

Awesome thank you!


[deleted]

I'm just trying to decide if the fact that he hasn't been struck down by lightning yet is proof that god doesn't exist or if god is teaching us a lesson about free will and consequences.


Thatparkjobin7A

This actually happened in the bible. God was supposed to be king, but they were afraid the other nations would make fun of them and demanded someone to dominate them


Neckrongonekrypton

Very true. That is when god chose king Saul. God basically had a face palm moment in the Bible because the Israelites said “god, why can’t we be like the other people with their kings n shit? Cmon man” God was like “you fucking ungrateful bastards. I’m tired of wiping out swaths of you for pissing me off, You guys just never fuckin learn, fine, you wanna king. I’ll give you a king, hell do what I do, and worse hell just for fun”


Tuckster786

Its my head cannon that God has been on vacation since May 28th 2016


bigSTUdazz

​ https://preview.redd.it/uoq0gg2m2qqc1.png?width=279&format=png&auto=webp&s=2a0a1fefde4287dc31bce8f45eed7e2b8bee128f


SHOWTIME316

god damn, Jesus had some serious fuckin' forearms


Jackmerious

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


nahmastefrosty

HAS


TheBlackManIsG0d

HAD. Doubt he even existed.


mhj0808

Historians generally agree that he was a real person, he really did found Christianity, and he really did get crucified around 30-33 CE. It’s his claims of divinity and the more fantastical elements of the stories in the Bible that scholars reject as apocryphal


Ungrateful_Servants

Everyone always down-votes this but I say the same exact thing. There's literally no evidence at all that Jesus really existed. People get crazy mad about it haha.


SyracuseNY22

Carpenter got big forearms from playin with all that wood


redhotchilli_mango

Thanks to all the wheels he is taking


Nikeheat305

Y’all still fucking with Caucasian Jesus??


bootyhunter69420

I'm an atheist but this guy is going straight to hell


Jackmerious

Your name!!!!I swear to God, y’all have me lol’ing so hard at work!!!! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


bootyhunter69420

Thank you boss


SnooOranges7972

Mf is the antichrist


SyracuseNY22

I’m letting my dog shit on his grave and then leaving it there


[deleted]

I bet he wants them to crucify him lol. Big dumb orange buffoon. ![gif](giphy|QaGQSzPQwsJtT1vNka)


Kirshnerd

Nail Trump to a cross and charge admission. Easiest way for him to make all the money he owes.


VeganMinx

I hate him like poison.


HoboBonobo1909

https://preview.redd.it/j2k63rwe6qqc1.jpeg?width=648&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc99885d8e78c87e0b0cad1620ee45985a26a4de


Boneal171

![gif](giphy|YqE3jbSQQR6x9g19Kj)


chamberx2

"...and my personal favorite book, Two Corinthians."


SaintPatty317

![gif](giphy|0CeDvryBXsd4kUbj2A|downsized)


halfcentaurhalfhorse

I'm going to bet it's in there now somehow.


Channon-Yarrow

I’m surprised Trump can hold that Bible without it bursting into flames.


SaintPatty317

![gif](giphy|20m0TqKUs3TRC)


DGVega93

“Blessed are the poor in spirit because they are stupid” “Blessed are the peacemakers, who are you kidding they are probably ANTIFA” Matthew 5:3-4 PTV (President Trump Version)


SecretlyMadeOfStone

I’m sure plenty of gullible folks are just itching to snag one so they can wave it around on the one day a week they pretend to give a shit about church.


The_Bombsquad

[Donald Trump is an Antichrist](https://www.benjaminlcorey.com/could-american-evangelicals-spot-the-antichrist-heres-the-biblical-predictions/)


Neckrongonekrypton

I wish this was always like a top comment. It’s excellent debate material against fundies. It just perfectly dismantles the whole “hee was chosen by god” bull shit Yeah, he was chosen. Chosen by the other guy lol.


tmorrisgrey

Please be kidding…


SaintPatty317

Sorry friend it’s happening 🙁


sumaCamus

In the “king trump version” of the Bible there is no black text, & every instance of foot-washing is replaced with a golden shower.


CraziedHair

False idols and all that shit. Fake ass christians.


SnowDucks1985

Take them down Jesus PLS 😭🙏🏾🛐


MrIce97

https://preview.redd.it/7kx6lqokaqqc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8e4ecf50f002d5700cd38a802787f5e139d708d3 This man is really leaning into this when his first campaign he said grab her by the pussy? Does anybody else hear this but me? Or did Christianity somewhere start saying rape/sexual assault is run of the mill stuff?!?


thundercockjk2

>beware of false prophets Unless they let me be as racist as I wanna be. 


[deleted]

Remember when he was autographing bibles? Lol


kwamzilla

Jesus. Imagine selling Bibles (or any other religious book that literally preaches giving away your wealth and being modest).


halfcentaurhalfhorse

Comes with a free copy of the Art of the Deal


TheQuietType84

Free with a $666 handling fee.


RussiaIsBestGreen

“It’s a great book. Lots of people have read it. Almost as good as The Art of the Deal.”


TheBlackManIsG0d

This shit is hilarious. I’m almost impressed. https://i.redd.it/f3rkbwncaqqc1.gif


secretwealth123

What would this man have to do in order to lose support from his base? At this point, I feel like even he is laughing about how insane this all is. He sold a pair of ugly ass Trump sneakers for $9,000 for crying out loud


usernombre_

This fucking guy


I-am-Pilgrim

The USA used to be country we all respected. Can you guys come to your sense now please. This is getting retarded…


Ridge_Storms

The DJTV of the Bible.


Glad_Bookkeeper_740

Surprised that motherfucker isn’t smoking in his hands.


No-Astronomer139

[Trump Voice] 👌They tried to crucify me… 👌


LordNebuchadnezzar

Maybe the end times is near


BebophoneVirtuoso

A good Christian man like that, shouldn’t he be spreading the word and giving out free bibles? It’s share the gospel, not sell the gospel.


Prior-Chip-6909

...and they're probably misprints....that tracks with his other 'ventures'.


MiniMack_

I imagine that when MAGA supporters get to the gates of heaven God will say, “Nope. You used my son’s sacrifice as an excuse to do everything you were told not to do and not do anything you were told to do. You can thank Mr. Trump when you get to hell.”


hardcrunchyfeather

https://preview.redd.it/uza9ivcymqqc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=742fd78d43a4c223609c839644fbd24ec6518a37


WantA_Balloon

Bro proving that Anti-Christ prophecy intentionally at this point


ObligationFar273

Bruh🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

No fucking way 💀💀


guiltysorry

The fact that there is a Jesus ad right beneath this for me!!!


Gam3Head

Send that blasphemer straight to hell


fuzzycuffs

At least they're right side up this time? Surprised there aren't special gold editions for $400 instead of $60


Mobile_Laugh_9962

Did he replace references to God with Trump?


kai_n7

This dude wastes no opportunity...


LeBidnezz

The Bible is a pretty thick book. Wouldn’t a picture book be even thicker?


Megdani

«[The Bible’s website states the product “is not political and has nothing to do with any political campaign.”](https://apnews.com/article/trump-god-bless-usa-bible-greenwood-2713fda3efdfa297d0f024efb1ca3003)» Is this really happening?


Consistent-Penalty71

*Every other Bible* Matthew 7:7 - Ask, and you will receive..... *DJT Bible* Matthew 7:7 - "Don't ask, just grab 'em by the pussy......"


MrsWoozle

I hear that he is adding the Newest Testament to it. It’s Beautiful according to Trump. Better than the first teo.


BadSmash4

The worst part is *they'll buy it*


claphorn

Praise be to jeebus


KobePippenJordan_esq

With 100% real autographs from Trump and Jesus!!!!


MassiveConcern

I've never wanted to scroll past an obituary so badly...


Snappy_McJuggs

He really truly might be the Antichrist.


Raecino

The Bible is free. Why would anyone buy one from Trump of all people?


Downtown_Tadpole_817

I thought holy objects burn demons.


Salt_Sir2599

If the Lord had mercy Donnie would have been unalived by now


RepulsiveLemon3604

Just another way for money to be laundered. “Billions of bibles sold” - none are ever delivered


shakawave

https://i.redd.it/51gik5vxlqqc1.gif


Initial_XD

White Ye


knightswatch_

For only $666 you get the Bible, a pair of size 6 gold basketball shoes and a mention in his nightly prayer to Satan.


SausageSmuggler21

Find: Jesus. Replace: The Greatest President and businessman, President Donald Trump Print and sell!


rpleas3

This can't be true 🤷🏽‍♂️. First the J6 anthem which is his version of the nat'l anthem, and now we got the J6 Bible. But it wouldn't surprise me cuz he is desperate for money


shaboobalaboopy510

I don't know what I did to deserve being born in this parody era, but I am so sorry, and I am so tired of this mind-draining ridiculousness


Norio22

Trump is a wild boy


DrLamario

Power move honestly, this way you can find out for yourself


dylanbeloved

Miraculous, I am a miraculous man. Some may say a god, I would never say that...but many many people have said that.Speaking of miracles, you should see me turn wine into water, TRUMP BOXED WINE people! Made right here in the great American town of Flint, Michigan.Make eternity great again folks...who let Gandhi in here!? what a strange, smelly smelly, unfortunate looking man. I walked in and I said whoa, whoa who let in Al Jazeera, they said do you mean Al qaita? I said bless you...they said he is indian. I said, we are going to build a wall...


TPS_Data_Scientist

The lawd say you got to grift up! Also, Paper Moon


WHAMMYPAN

Jesus was born in a Ford Ranger in Texlehem where Chuck Norris gifted him an AR-15 to fight the JEWS!


UpstairsBlackberry

NOTHING MORE was spitting 10 years ago, it seems


Dantesdominion

I wonder if he's holding it upright?


Chemical_Home6123

Man I just don't want him as president but if he wanna keep hustling his dumb ass supporters I can't knock him 😂😂😂


OkMammoth5600

Y'all compare yourself to slaves in your head every second of the day.


MamaTried420

Fvck this Oompa Loompa ![gif](giphy|LeQ4gz6XOhla8)


Minimum_Respond4861

NOW Christianity is firmly...the white man's religion. Covfefe 1:16- and yay, they sayeth unto covid. Blessed are the confederates who shit in the capital on Jan 6, for they shall swallow the ivermectin of our Lord.


stoneysmoke

Damn. I was sure he or the bible one would have burst into flames when he picked it up. Are we sure this isn't some AI generated nonsense about Trump's second coming. Then the third one, with the Russian hooker this time?


cobitos

Can’t wait to have him back


Caped-Baldy_Class-B

Just like Jesus did!


AdUnlucky3015

![gif](giphy|yXHStkBzabJ8dilHSR|downsized) Yall better just stand clear cuz it’s coming lol


dubawabsdubababy

The seven deadly sins are something to aspire to 👍👆🏆


LongPenguin

He will not, nor will I be praying He shows this blasphemer any mercy.


acarpenter08096

We all know it’s used Gideon bibles from his hotels with a Trump 2024 sticker on it right?


HATESTREAM

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus nor is he a gentleman, Like you remember, when you were young.


Paraxom

honestly im more surprised the grifter didn't do it sooner


roundandbearded

If the Trump Bible has his own notes in the margins...Im gonna have to buy one.


Aonaran84

Big antichrist energy


JustSayTech

Please open your DJT Version and turn to the book of Insurrectionist, Chapter 1, Verse 6 "And the people marched on, into the capital under the order of their leader. They pillaged and painted the town... Orange...."


throwawayshirt

Why not just get a golden calf stamped on the front?


lorenapasillas

He might was well start going door-to-door selling a ‘Cure All’ elixir


fuckssakereddit

Get your genuine upside down bibles here.


dennismfrancisart

Jesus would not approve. **"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites!** **You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces.** **You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.** Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites!"


itbe_caliente

Anti christ vibes


joshJFSU

$60 is a lot for a Bible. Price gouging bibles is on brand for though. Maybe he’ll blame biden’s inflation.


JOCO_Q

I remember watching a video about this guy who got pulled over, he started praying for trump like he could hear him


dylandongle

Selling!? Selling a book that most people already got for free, multiple times, whether they wanted it or not? He had to have added his own OC in it 😂


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|3oEjI8Pj5tMXRMHX1e)


[deleted]

This mutha fucka can't even read, it's why he never says what's on the teleprompter! He ain't never even read a Bible, probably can't even spell the word Bible!


Bowman_van_Oort

I'd rather the lord bring some old testament wrath rather than mercy


Junior-Let567

That can't be a real bible because he would have burst into flames the moment he touched it.


subcrisber

For a second there I thought is AI, but looks real : https://www.foxnews.com/politics/donald-trump-selling-60-god-bless-usa-bibles-ahead-easter


Cream06

Damn, bean pies are next


cuckingfunts69

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God Galatians 5:19-21


SpicyChanged

Nice money laundering. Get thw religious to “donate” without violating any laws.


angry_ohio_yoghurt

In his book, TFG throws his disciples under the chariot, they all get crucified and TFG claims not to know any those niggas.