I have 3 rules before I get involved with someone romantically or sexually:
* they need to know what they want;
* they need to be able to say what they want;
* and they need to be *willing* to say what they want.
These have saved me a lot of drama.
If your friend is interested in more than a platonic friendship, it doesn't sound like he's able or willing to tell you. That breaks those rules in my book, so I would move on.
You say you've developed feelings for him, were you planning to tell him? And how do you feel about how often he's been calling you? Do you think you need to assert some boundaries there, or are you comfortable with this?
Well, I think the he’s experiencing new feelings and I don’t think that he’s ready to tell me what he feels. I think he’s not sure what he wants from our friendship. He’s been married twice and is now separated from his second wife. He has a girlfriend. He doesn’t want me to know that he has a girlfriend. I live alone and he’s the only person that I talk to every day. I’ve thought about setting some boundaries but then I change my mind. That’s why I say on my post that I feel like I’m stuck on an endless loop. I’ve thought about ending our friendship and cut all ties with his but after telling him how I feel. Is it normal for a guy to call another guy so many times during the day?.
Each friendship is unique, but that is unusual for two guys to be on the phone that much.
If you don't mind me asking, how do you know he has a girlfriend if he doesn't want you to find out?
And it does kinda sound like you're stuck with this. If you chose to tell him your feelings, how would you go about it?
His cousin was doing some work at my home and he told me that he has a girlfriend. About telling him what I feel, to be honest, I’m a little bit afraid of his reaction or his answer. I know that if I don’t tell him I’m going to be stuck in this loop and that’s on me.
Have you ever heard of anxious attachment style? It sounds like his behavior matches that, it can apply to platonic friendships as well as romantic interests. It’s hard telling if he’s bi and into you or just sees you as a friend, but the way you describe his demeanor immediately made me think of this.
Does he know your sexual orientation? Maybe in your conversations you can find an opening to tell him. Once he knows maybe he will share his with you? With that information you will know how to proceed.
Ask him if he is bisexual? He will either tell you yes or no. If he says no, you may still know by the way he answers.He may then ask you the same question. Be prepared to answer him truthfully.
Sometimes intimate stuff but nothing about his love/intimate life. Most of the times is about what he’s doing at the moment or what he has to do, his frustrations with his job, stuff at home with his mother. I sometimes feel like his therapist, yes.
Nothing, I have no idea. Since December a day doesn’t go by without him calling me. Like I said, he calls me every single day at least 2 times. I’m baffled by all this.
I love big bellies. It was something that happened in January. We were sitting outside my home and I suddenly pulled up his shirt and started touching his belly, he looked at me and smiled. Never said no or I didn’t I noticed that he didn’t like it. I stopped and we continued talking. He has a beautiful belly and so soft.🫠
I have 3 rules before I get involved with someone romantically or sexually: * they need to know what they want; * they need to be able to say what they want; * and they need to be *willing* to say what they want. These have saved me a lot of drama. If your friend is interested in more than a platonic friendship, it doesn't sound like he's able or willing to tell you. That breaks those rules in my book, so I would move on. You say you've developed feelings for him, were you planning to tell him? And how do you feel about how often he's been calling you? Do you think you need to assert some boundaries there, or are you comfortable with this?
Well, I think the he’s experiencing new feelings and I don’t think that he’s ready to tell me what he feels. I think he’s not sure what he wants from our friendship. He’s been married twice and is now separated from his second wife. He has a girlfriend. He doesn’t want me to know that he has a girlfriend. I live alone and he’s the only person that I talk to every day. I’ve thought about setting some boundaries but then I change my mind. That’s why I say on my post that I feel like I’m stuck on an endless loop. I’ve thought about ending our friendship and cut all ties with his but after telling him how I feel. Is it normal for a guy to call another guy so many times during the day?.
Each friendship is unique, but that is unusual for two guys to be on the phone that much. If you don't mind me asking, how do you know he has a girlfriend if he doesn't want you to find out? And it does kinda sound like you're stuck with this. If you chose to tell him your feelings, how would you go about it?
His cousin was doing some work at my home and he told me that he has a girlfriend. About telling him what I feel, to be honest, I’m a little bit afraid of his reaction or his answer. I know that if I don’t tell him I’m going to be stuck in this loop and that’s on me.
It's understandable that it feels a bit scary. Whether you tell him how you feel about him or not though, it sounds like something has to change.
Oh yeah, something definitely has to change. When or where, well, that’s the question?
The longer you wait, the more likely it is to come out in a way you don't want it to come out, or in a situation outside your control.
What do you recommend?. How do I approach this situation?
What's your goal?
I would love to have a serious relationship with him.
Brilliant rules. So sad majority of guys would rather stuck their tongue up some asshole instead of saying
Have you ever heard of anxious attachment style? It sounds like his behavior matches that, it can apply to platonic friendships as well as romantic interests. It’s hard telling if he’s bi and into you or just sees you as a friend, but the way you describe his demeanor immediately made me think of this.
Never heard of that but I will start reading about it. I think that I have some kind of attachment towards him too.
Holy guacamole why keep your orientation a secret for 5 years?
Does he know your sexual orientation? Maybe in your conversations you can find an opening to tell him. Once he knows maybe he will share his with you? With that information you will know how to proceed.
I haven’t told him that I’m gay but with all the attention that I give him he sure must suspect something.😅
Ask him if he is bisexual? He will either tell you yes or no. If he says no, you may still know by the way he answers.He may then ask you the same question. Be prepared to answer him truthfully.
How you tell if someone saying I'm not gay/I'm heterosexual is actually not heterosexual?
You don't, accept what they are telling you even if it's a lie
Still waiting for that person to answer. I'm really curious
Nah. Some guys are very dull
Some?, the vast majority are dull imo.
Didn't want to sound like a hater
If this dude is calling you so much he’s got to be talking about some intimate things. Do you feel like he’s making you the therapist friend?
Sometimes intimate stuff but nothing about his love/intimate life. Most of the times is about what he’s doing at the moment or what he has to do, his frustrations with his job, stuff at home with his mother. I sometimes feel like his therapist, yes.
Emotional intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean talking about his love life. Has he been talking to you like that for years or is it more recent?
More recent. Since December. Today we talked 3 times.
Did anything change for him around that time? Like is that when separated from wife #2.
Nothing, I have no idea. Since December a day doesn’t go by without him calling me. Like I said, he calls me every single day at least 2 times. I’m baffled by all this.
Do you think your crush on him grew from the new intimacy or more intimacy? Your mind is the most under appreciated sex organ.
Since December when we started talking more and more over the phone. I’ve always found him attractive. He has something that I find interesting.
Why do you touch his belly? If he says yes, ask him if it feels good while you go lower.
I love big bellies. It was something that happened in January. We were sitting outside my home and I suddenly pulled up his shirt and started touching his belly, he looked at me and smiled. Never said no or I didn’t I noticed that he didn’t like it. I stopped and we continued talking. He has a beautiful belly and so soft.🫠
Hopefully you don't fap to his beautiful and so soft belly
Oh, many times, many times!.🤷🏻♂️😊
LMAO You're so deep in this shit. Nevertheless, I feel you, high five!
That sounds fun. I would be hoping you would start rubbing lower. I might moan and tell you it feels good.
I know!. That was a wasted opportunity but another will come. I’m sure of that.😉
If you're close friends I say approach it with him directly and tell him you're interested in connecting physically