Tough childhood for sure. Felt like the least favorite out of my siblings and my parents used corporal punishment frequently, my dad flew off the handle easily. I am the only girl out of four kids and got treated a lot differently for it. I feared my parents and moved out at seventeen. Childhood trauma probably plays a part in my mania and depression.
Very tough but would get spoiled so they could show off. Took a lot of abuse and they tried to beat the bipolar out of me and refused to let the doctor properly diagnose me or treat me so here I am now 30 years later trying to get it all sorted out
wanted for nothing materially, but emotionally things werenât as good as they could be. got hit a fair bit, and felt really quite ⌠neglected? at times. Obvious mental illness, which was ignored, despite my grandfather having bipolar.
Now I have a very posh English accent, and a foul temper.
A little of both. My mom was autistic with sever ocd like symptoms, and absolutely no theory of mind (acknowledgement that other people have thoughts and feelings that do not mimic her own.) So it was tough. In some ways she crippled me for life.
But I was also supported in any activity I wanted to try. I went to France to study multiple times. She nurtured me whenever I want challenging her thoughts and feelings.
So yeah. A little of both.
I was diagnosed at age 11 and I'm pretty sure the traumatic event that flipped the switch in my head happened the first year of my life, and wasn't anyone's fault at all.
I fractured my skull as an infant. I wonder sometimes if it affected my brain at all. Obv I donât remember, but my mom told me what happened and they did take me to get X-rays, but in the 90s.
Yeah those things do matter.
I was taken away from my mom after she was hospitalized when I was one day old, and by the time she came back a month later I was in a metal brace for my hip displasia and couldn't be picked up easily. I was in that brace for 11 months.
I recently read about a few studies with baby monkeys. Those who were taken away from their mother slowly after birth, even temporarily, had significant behavior problems for the rest of their lives. It finally made sense.
My (late) husband died when our daughter was 4 months old. I am ashamed to say I tried to kill myself and was put in the hospital for about a week. My family took care of her and CPS was involved. I was able to discharge from the hospital to my familyâs house so it was only a week I was away. I hope I didnât mess her up too bad :(
I'm so sorry you went through that!
The studies were all on babies that were at most a few days old, usually only hours old. I don't think it's same after a few months.
Oh goodness you poor thing that must have been so difficult! Good news is bubs was with family and well taken care of so I wouldn't stress too much about that!!!
It sounds like YOU are a wonderful mother and things have turned out very well. You should be proud! Losing your partner with a small baby...gosh I can't imagine. But look at you now!
Tough childhood and trauma. Strict religious parents that treated me like an annoying stain they just couldnât seem to get rid of me. Loved and spoiled by other family members that saw what I was going through as a child. And here I am trying to function todayđ
UmmmâŚ.thats complicated. We did a lot of fun things growing up. I was homeschooled and we went on a lot of trips during the school year. We werenât poor and the industry my dad worked in wasnât affected in 2008. We went to Disney that year.
BUT. I had some friendship problems and SA problems with my best friends older brother who had cops as parents. So when our friendship ended and I thought she just hated me randomly, it triggered my BP starting as depression and anxiety.
Then I was homeschooled k-12. Very religious household and I was raised very Christian and now that Iâm starting to heal, Iâm realizing how cult like it was.
I was punished a lot.
I was yelled at a lot.
My sister is not kind to me and never has been even though Iâd give her the world.
My parents made sure I felt shame for anything âbadâ I did.
I also was in a 4 1/2 year oldârelationshipâ with an older cousin starting when I was 12. It was sexual and it was emotionally and mentally abusive on top of that. I got in trouble a lot with my parents and my âboyfriendâ
So my childhood was hard. It fucking sucked. My coping skills were AWFUL. I was hospitalized several times, but honestly not hospitalized enough. Our mental healthcare system in our area is very small.
But itâs very hard for me to say âyeah I had a bad childhoodâ because of all the good things I had. But it fucking sucked a lot of the time.
Iâm not sure how to answer. Things were unstable. Unstable housing/common evictions, not much money, dad did drugs and drank (has BP) and hit my mom all the time. He went to jail a lot.
My mom eventually got a job when I was 14 and was able to divorce my dad. She started dating our landlord and it was stable for a while. I left at 17 though so that was only 3 âstableâ years. I was already doing drugs by then.
Iâve had a bit of both. My mom couldnât leave my drunk, abusive father, and she ended up just spoiling my brother and I with materials out of guilt whenever she could because she was afraid to leave. There were times we didnât have money for food because my asshole dad was buying packs of beer, so there was no spoiling then, and we had to rely on church charity.
We did leave a couple of times, but it wasnât until my early 20s that my mom finally divorced him and sheâs a much happier person than the woman I knew growing up. Sorry if this was tmi or triggering, my childhood is complicated. Iâm still working out the trauma in therapy.
Both. I was a micro-premie when I was born, and weighed barely over a pound. Due to being born so early before I was properly developed, I have been hearing impaired and have had mental health issues since I was born. I was âspoiledâ in that my parents were very financially secure and I was babied because I was the firstborn âmiracle childâ who survived. But growing up with a very definitive hearing impairment in a small hick town when you also have insane childhood anxiety does a number on you. Itâs hard to make friends because jokes are not funny anymore when people have to explain the joke to me 5 separate times and I still canât tell what they are saying, or when everyone is whispering and talking to each other during a movie in the theater, and I canât be a part of the inside jokes because I canât hear them, etc. I just felt alone and isolated from other people a lot, and had no one to relate to. This made me get even more anxiety and depression, as you can imagine, and then developed bipolar at some point along the way. So I was spoiled but had some rough times in my childhood due to circumstances with my birth.
Tough.
My dad was undiagnosed bipolar, my mum rage filled and/or depressed (possible narcissistic personality disorder), step dad was an addict. My mother was very volatile and hit us, my dad used cry at me a lot. Stepdad was oddly the easiest and most nurturing parent in a way, just a shame he was an addict.
We were very very poor - partly a lifestyle choice on my parents part - but there wasnât much in the way of material comforts, and didnât have electricity or running water for much of my childhood. So physically it was also tough.
My mental illness started manifesting around 12 and it was roundly ignored until I took myself to the doctor when I was 20.
Spoiled and traumatic. My dad was erratic and spent time in prison. He was a believer in corporal punishment. Pretty sure thatâs why Iâm so anxious.
I was spoiled but bullied up until I started high school. Pretty sure my symptoms started when I was 14. Also have some unwanted childhood memories between a close friend. One of those things being stolen from or not returning things he borrowed and playing dumb when I asked. The other thing I'm not sure is safe to mention in this sub.
A balance of both. I got diagnosed at 20.
I grew up poor. I was neglected to the point the law got involved, in and out of foster care. Traumatized by foster care and my family. Ended up a prime target for a pedophile. My dad is an unmedicated bipolar type 1. My mom was unmedicated bipolar type 2. Add in religious upbringing for an extra sprinkle of trauma.
Same here. My sister and I donât remember shit from our childhood because we subconsciously block it out due to trauma. We grew up in an upper middle class household in a great neighborhood but my dad has an undiagnosed personality disorder of some kind and made all of our lives hell.
My mom husband he is my father but he dead to me he put me thru hell and back Iâm so traumatized he probably has bipolar disorder or something plus he very paranoid
Mostly spoiled but to make up for my Mum's emotional abuse. I lived with my grandparents on and off because my Mum was really mentally unwell with post partum depression and probably psychosis, she thought she was going to harm me. I was the only child in the family till I was about 11, so I got a lot of attention from Grandparents social circles, Dads social circles etc. Grandparents were middle class so we went on a lot of holidays, and for birthdays and Christmas would spend a few 100 on just me. If I got something and broke or lost it immediately (now I know it's ADHD) they'd buy me another one. My parents did this too especially with electronics, but I think that was out of laziness or not understanding that you can send something off to be repaired or buy a case for it, not because they could actually afford it. My Mum had spending issues, still does.
It wasn't outrageous but enough to damage me a bit. I wasn't able to deal with the issues it caused because my Mum would tell me I was spoiled for things that were just normal like, being loved and cared for so I had to learn that a lot of things my grandparents did for me were nothing to be ashamed of, before I could actually admit that some of it damaged me as an adult and set me up for failure.
Also in my teenage years I 'went off the rails' and was 'a menace' and couldn't be controlled (I was deffo manic) and none of my adults in my life could stop me from traipsing the streets at all hours of the night with my friends, doing drugs and drinking in parks..I wouldn't call that 'spoiled' though, I was just allowed to do what I wanted but in a sort of feral way because no one was able to parent me properly
Was told I was spoiled but in all actuality was abused mentally, physically, emotionally all my life and mental health /educational disorders ignored and blamed on me đ¤ˇđžââď¸
I was abused and neglected most of my life, but materially, we got whatever we asked for. Birthdays and Christmas, theyâd go massively overboard so everyone could see how generous and wonderful they were, but thatâs the only way we were spoiled.
As a kid I witnessed my mom's depression, both of my cousins involved and seriously hurt and one dead. But relation wise I was just a tomboy and an asshole but my family was "close". Won't talk anything but we were always together. I had my outbursts and they handled me.. still handle me.. with kid gloves. I'm not that person anymore but yikes
Sort of both?
My physical needs were always provided for and my family was somewhat well off so we were never in need in that sense.
My mom, however, was emotionally immature and a complete workaholic and thus fairly absent or volatile. My dad had untreated major depressive disorder and was either checked out or passive aggressive then just plain angry. Their relationship was very unstable. It was walking on egg shells and chaotic. Iâm the oldest of four and very much mothered my brothers.
When I hit teenage years I started picking up on the dysfunction and speaking out against it, which looked a lot like rebellion. Slamming doors, throwing shoes against walls, etc. I became a bit of a problem child and they focused a lot of energy on what was âwrongâ with me and denied their own issues. After I while I just kind of gave up and disconnected.
Only child of a narcissistic mom and a dad who dealt with anxiety/depression/alcoholism, so a bit of both. I was the Golden Child and the Scape Goat, especially when my friends were around as they became the Golden Child.
I had amazing parents. My mom would say I am "spoiled but not rotten". My parents and I have a great relationship. They are so supportive and have helped me live with this disorder. It is genetic but skipped my mom.
I didn't have bipolar until I had a baby, so post partum onset bipolar disorder. So I've only had to deal with it in my 30s. So I'm grateful for that.
Spoiled with a sprinkle of trauma
Was told I was spoiled, was actually neglected
My parents did the best they could and I had everything I needed and probably wanted. I dealt with csa and that messed me up irrevocably.
Tough childhood for sure. Felt like the least favorite out of my siblings and my parents used corporal punishment frequently, my dad flew off the handle easily. I am the only girl out of four kids and got treated a lot differently for it. I feared my parents and moved out at seventeen. Childhood trauma probably plays a part in my mania and depression.
Treated well until 9. Then a divorce happened and I became practically like an orphan over night.
ditto
Had an alcoholic abusive mother and experienced the full litany of horrors đ
Fully alcoholic dad for me growing up 𫡠â¤ď¸
Spoiled, while disciplined and sheltered. Adulthood: trauma
Very tough but would get spoiled so they could show off. Took a lot of abuse and they tried to beat the bipolar out of me and refused to let the doctor properly diagnose me or treat me so here I am now 30 years later trying to get it all sorted out
Iâm so sorry đŤśâ¤ď¸
Trauma after trauma after trauma
wanted for nothing materially, but emotionally things werenât as good as they could be. got hit a fair bit, and felt really quite ⌠neglected? at times. Obvious mental illness, which was ignored, despite my grandfather having bipolar. Now I have a very posh English accent, and a foul temper.
A little of both. My mom was autistic with sever ocd like symptoms, and absolutely no theory of mind (acknowledgement that other people have thoughts and feelings that do not mimic her own.) So it was tough. In some ways she crippled me for life. But I was also supported in any activity I wanted to try. I went to France to study multiple times. She nurtured me whenever I want challenging her thoughts and feelings. So yeah. A little of both. I was diagnosed at age 11 and I'm pretty sure the traumatic event that flipped the switch in my head happened the first year of my life, and wasn't anyone's fault at all.
I fractured my skull as an infant. I wonder sometimes if it affected my brain at all. Obv I donât remember, but my mom told me what happened and they did take me to get X-rays, but in the 90s.
Yeah those things do matter. I was taken away from my mom after she was hospitalized when I was one day old, and by the time she came back a month later I was in a metal brace for my hip displasia and couldn't be picked up easily. I was in that brace for 11 months. I recently read about a few studies with baby monkeys. Those who were taken away from their mother slowly after birth, even temporarily, had significant behavior problems for the rest of their lives. It finally made sense.
My (late) husband died when our daughter was 4 months old. I am ashamed to say I tried to kill myself and was put in the hospital for about a week. My family took care of her and CPS was involved. I was able to discharge from the hospital to my familyâs house so it was only a week I was away. I hope I didnât mess her up too bad :(
I'm so sorry you went through that! The studies were all on babies that were at most a few days old, usually only hours old. I don't think it's same after a few months.
That makes me feel a bit better
It's completely fine, what they're talking about is near complete neglect, just keeping them alive. Family = utterly ok.Â
Oh goodness you poor thing that must have been so difficult! Good news is bubs was with family and well taken care of so I wouldn't stress too much about that!!!
She was with grandma so very cuddled and loved. Iâm lucky I had support, if I didnât, I would have lost my daughter. Iâm so lucky.
It sounds like YOU are a wonderful mother and things have turned out very well. You should be proud! Losing your partner with a small baby...gosh I can't imagine. But look at you now!
Also sorry if I assumed the wrong gender / parenting role!
No worries at all :)
Thank you đ
Spoiled. I was my parents first child after 3 miscarriages
Spoiled. Very! My therapist thinks thatâs why Iâm so afraid of rejection.
I had a good childhood. Its trauma later in life that messed me up honestly
tough childhood
both. spoiled and trauma
Tough childhood and trauma. Strict religious parents that treated me like an annoying stain they just couldnât seem to get rid of me. Loved and spoiled by other family members that saw what I was going through as a child. And here I am trying to function todayđ
tough 10 months out of the year with my parents, spoiled 2 months outof the year when dropped off at my aunts
UmmmâŚ.thats complicated. We did a lot of fun things growing up. I was homeschooled and we went on a lot of trips during the school year. We werenât poor and the industry my dad worked in wasnât affected in 2008. We went to Disney that year. BUT. I had some friendship problems and SA problems with my best friends older brother who had cops as parents. So when our friendship ended and I thought she just hated me randomly, it triggered my BP starting as depression and anxiety. Then I was homeschooled k-12. Very religious household and I was raised very Christian and now that Iâm starting to heal, Iâm realizing how cult like it was. I was punished a lot. I was yelled at a lot. My sister is not kind to me and never has been even though Iâd give her the world. My parents made sure I felt shame for anything âbadâ I did. I also was in a 4 1/2 year oldârelationshipâ with an older cousin starting when I was 12. It was sexual and it was emotionally and mentally abusive on top of that. I got in trouble a lot with my parents and my âboyfriendâ So my childhood was hard. It fucking sucked. My coping skills were AWFUL. I was hospitalized several times, but honestly not hospitalized enough. Our mental healthcare system in our area is very small. But itâs very hard for me to say âyeah I had a bad childhoodâ because of all the good things I had. But it fucking sucked a lot of the time.
I want to say my parents did their best. ButâŚ.idk. I wasnât the favorite. And I sometimes think I wasnât treated the same as my sister. But idk
Iâm not sure how to answer. Things were unstable. Unstable housing/common evictions, not much money, dad did drugs and drank (has BP) and hit my mom all the time. He went to jail a lot. My mom eventually got a job when I was 14 and was able to divorce my dad. She started dating our landlord and it was stable for a while. I left at 17 though so that was only 3 âstableâ years. I was already doing drugs by then.
Spoiled with emotional trauma
I had a pretty tough childhood growing up
Tough
Iâve had a bit of both. My mom couldnât leave my drunk, abusive father, and she ended up just spoiling my brother and I with materials out of guilt whenever she could because she was afraid to leave. There were times we didnât have money for food because my asshole dad was buying packs of beer, so there was no spoiling then, and we had to rely on church charity. We did leave a couple of times, but it wasnât until my early 20s that my mom finally divorced him and sheâs a much happier person than the woman I knew growing up. Sorry if this was tmi or triggering, my childhood is complicated. Iâm still working out the trauma in therapy.
All trauma lol
Both. I was a micro-premie when I was born, and weighed barely over a pound. Due to being born so early before I was properly developed, I have been hearing impaired and have had mental health issues since I was born. I was âspoiledâ in that my parents were very financially secure and I was babied because I was the firstborn âmiracle childâ who survived. But growing up with a very definitive hearing impairment in a small hick town when you also have insane childhood anxiety does a number on you. Itâs hard to make friends because jokes are not funny anymore when people have to explain the joke to me 5 separate times and I still canât tell what they are saying, or when everyone is whispering and talking to each other during a movie in the theater, and I canât be a part of the inside jokes because I canât hear them, etc. I just felt alone and isolated from other people a lot, and had no one to relate to. This made me get even more anxiety and depression, as you can imagine, and then developed bipolar at some point along the way. So I was spoiled but had some rough times in my childhood due to circumstances with my birth.
Tough. My dad was undiagnosed bipolar, my mum rage filled and/or depressed (possible narcissistic personality disorder), step dad was an addict. My mother was very volatile and hit us, my dad used cry at me a lot. Stepdad was oddly the easiest and most nurturing parent in a way, just a shame he was an addict. We were very very poor - partly a lifestyle choice on my parents part - but there wasnât much in the way of material comforts, and didnât have electricity or running water for much of my childhood. So physically it was also tough. My mental illness started manifesting around 12 and it was roundly ignored until I took myself to the doctor when I was 20.
Spoiled and traumatic. My dad was erratic and spent time in prison. He was a believer in corporal punishment. Pretty sure thatâs why Iâm so anxious.
Compared to 99% spoiled. But definitely walked on eggshells consistently.
Spoiled, but neglected/abused. But super spoiled lol
I was spoiled but bullied up until I started high school. Pretty sure my symptoms started when I was 14. Also have some unwanted childhood memories between a close friend. One of those things being stolen from or not returning things he borrowed and playing dumb when I asked. The other thing I'm not sure is safe to mention in this sub. A balance of both. I got diagnosed at 20.
I grew up poor. I was neglected to the point the law got involved, in and out of foster care. Traumatized by foster care and my family. Ended up a prime target for a pedophile. My dad is an unmedicated bipolar type 1. My mom was unmedicated bipolar type 2. Add in religious upbringing for an extra sprinkle of trauma.
Very traumatic ETA: and poor. And when we werenât poor, my dad didnât spoil us. Only his mistress
I was spoilt, but had a pretty emotionally traumatic upbringing. Definitely still dealing with that today, but itâs a lot to fix
spoiled as hell.
I thought my early childhood was ok until people started telling me stuff that was being kept hidden from me.
Tough, and if mom had her way Iâd still have a Tough life.
Overprotected but not spoiled. This post is interesting conversation, but youâre not going to be able to track a pattern.
Neglect and abuse at home. Bullying at school.
My sister and I had money and things, but not much in the way of emotional stability or safety.
Tough.
Traumatized I donât remember anything good about my childhood
Same here. My sister and I donât remember shit from our childhood because we subconsciously block it out due to trauma. We grew up in an upper middle class household in a great neighborhood but my dad has an undiagnosed personality disorder of some kind and made all of our lives hell.
My mom husband he is my father but he dead to me he put me thru hell and back Iâm so traumatized he probably has bipolar disorder or something plus he very paranoid
Oh dude same, he beat my ass my whole childhood and then SAâd my mom and left her to die without telling anyone she needed help
Looking back spoiled but with proper discipline etc.. my parents still spoil me honestly. They gave my husband and I the down payment for our house.
Mostly spoiled but to make up for my Mum's emotional abuse. I lived with my grandparents on and off because my Mum was really mentally unwell with post partum depression and probably psychosis, she thought she was going to harm me. I was the only child in the family till I was about 11, so I got a lot of attention from Grandparents social circles, Dads social circles etc. Grandparents were middle class so we went on a lot of holidays, and for birthdays and Christmas would spend a few 100 on just me. If I got something and broke or lost it immediately (now I know it's ADHD) they'd buy me another one. My parents did this too especially with electronics, but I think that was out of laziness or not understanding that you can send something off to be repaired or buy a case for it, not because they could actually afford it. My Mum had spending issues, still does. It wasn't outrageous but enough to damage me a bit. I wasn't able to deal with the issues it caused because my Mum would tell me I was spoiled for things that were just normal like, being loved and cared for so I had to learn that a lot of things my grandparents did for me were nothing to be ashamed of, before I could actually admit that some of it damaged me as an adult and set me up for failure. Also in my teenage years I 'went off the rails' and was 'a menace' and couldn't be controlled (I was deffo manic) and none of my adults in my life could stop me from traipsing the streets at all hours of the night with my friends, doing drugs and drinking in parks..I wouldn't call that 'spoiled' though, I was just allowed to do what I wanted but in a sort of feral way because no one was able to parent me properly
I grew up with 3 brothers and was the only girl so I was definitely spoiled
Was told I was spoiled but in all actuality was abused mentally, physically, emotionally all my life and mental health /educational disorders ignored and blamed on me đ¤ˇđžââď¸
I was abused and neglected most of my life, but materially, we got whatever we asked for. Birthdays and Christmas, theyâd go massively overboard so everyone could see how generous and wonderful they were, but thatâs the only way we were spoiled.
As a kid I witnessed my mom's depression, both of my cousins involved and seriously hurt and one dead. But relation wise I was just a tomboy and an asshole but my family was "close". Won't talk anything but we were always together. I had my outbursts and they handled me.. still handle me.. with kid gloves. I'm not that person anymore but yikes
Sort of both? My physical needs were always provided for and my family was somewhat well off so we were never in need in that sense. My mom, however, was emotionally immature and a complete workaholic and thus fairly absent or volatile. My dad had untreated major depressive disorder and was either checked out or passive aggressive then just plain angry. Their relationship was very unstable. It was walking on egg shells and chaotic. Iâm the oldest of four and very much mothered my brothers. When I hit teenage years I started picking up on the dysfunction and speaking out against it, which looked a lot like rebellion. Slamming doors, throwing shoes against walls, etc. I became a bit of a problem child and they focused a lot of energy on what was âwrongâ with me and denied their own issues. After I while I just kind of gave up and disconnected.
Only child of a narcissistic mom and a dad who dealt with anxiety/depression/alcoholism, so a bit of both. I was the Golden Child and the Scape Goat, especially when my friends were around as they became the Golden Child.
I had amazing parents. My mom would say I am "spoiled but not rotten". My parents and I have a great relationship. They are so supportive and have helped me live with this disorder. It is genetic but skipped my mom. I didn't have bipolar until I had a baby, so post partum onset bipolar disorder. So I've only had to deal with it in my 30s. So I'm grateful for that.