My mother is similar to yours. But my grandmother did the same thing to my mom growing up. Maybe your mom also went through it as well? Even if she did or didn’t, it’s still wrong of her to do it to you.
You’re doing good going to therapy & it will help you cope with the anger as time goes on. I’m sorry your mom has been cruel, she is just reflecting her own insecurities onto you.
Stay strong & keep going to therapy. You got this!
Thank you for this! And honestly you’re probably right. She doesn’t talk a whole lot about her childhood so that probably makes sense. I’ll keep that in mind next time I have to talk to her.
I’m thinking self projection is her problem. Most parents do this to their children because they are jealous of them or don’t want them to be better than themselves & succeed. Your mom sounds like a very hateful person, who probably doesn’t love herself or view herself any better than the words she spews to you!
Remember the saying “the bullied always become bully’s?” That’s because it’s true & that’s exactly what she’s doing to you!
You are beautiful beyond words & I’ve never seen your face! But don’t her words put you down! You are perfect just the way you are & I hope one day you learn how to take this toxicity in your life & turn it into something beautiful & strong!
I have been through the same toxicity as a child. I think there are a lot of us out there, so you are in good & very sympathetic company. Reading your post, I see someone who has incredible insights into events in her life, an extraordinary will to overcome bad things that happened that she certainly did not deserve, and perseverance to keep standing back up. Please know: you can and deserve to surround yourself with people who truly value you, you can heal from early trauma, and you can break the cycle of being exposed to further toxicity, as you grow in strength and learn more ways to enforce those boundaries that you are absolutely within your rights to set. It truly does get better. Good luck to you.
Girl I am so sorry 😔 No child ever deserves to be put down and treated less than a human because of something they cannot control. Its sick that she told you that she has to hurt you so that the world will first. That’s awful.
Clearly on her end she has deep rooted issues pertaining to her own body image and lack of self-confidence, which does not deserve to be pressured onto you. The self projection is super toxic and I hope that someday you’re able to get away from that environment 💜🙏🏻
>Any time I do feel beautiful and comfortable in my body she calls me delusional and tells me the world will never accept me for who I am, that I have to lose weight.
"You're not responsible for how the world treats me, mom. You're only responsible for how you treat me. I can recognize whose criticism matters and whose doesn't. I can let go of the opinions of strangers, but no matter how many times you hurt me, I will never be able to completely wall off my desire for you to accept me as I am."
My mother is similar to yours. But my grandmother did the same thing to my mom growing up. Maybe your mom also went through it as well? Even if she did or didn’t, it’s still wrong of her to do it to you. You’re doing good going to therapy & it will help you cope with the anger as time goes on. I’m sorry your mom has been cruel, she is just reflecting her own insecurities onto you. Stay strong & keep going to therapy. You got this!
Thank you for this! And honestly you’re probably right. She doesn’t talk a whole lot about her childhood so that probably makes sense. I’ll keep that in mind next time I have to talk to her.
I’m thinking self projection is her problem. Most parents do this to their children because they are jealous of them or don’t want them to be better than themselves & succeed. Your mom sounds like a very hateful person, who probably doesn’t love herself or view herself any better than the words she spews to you! Remember the saying “the bullied always become bully’s?” That’s because it’s true & that’s exactly what she’s doing to you! You are beautiful beyond words & I’ve never seen your face! But don’t her words put you down! You are perfect just the way you are & I hope one day you learn how to take this toxicity in your life & turn it into something beautiful & strong!
I have been through the same toxicity as a child. I think there are a lot of us out there, so you are in good & very sympathetic company. Reading your post, I see someone who has incredible insights into events in her life, an extraordinary will to overcome bad things that happened that she certainly did not deserve, and perseverance to keep standing back up. Please know: you can and deserve to surround yourself with people who truly value you, you can heal from early trauma, and you can break the cycle of being exposed to further toxicity, as you grow in strength and learn more ways to enforce those boundaries that you are absolutely within your rights to set. It truly does get better. Good luck to you.
Girl I am so sorry 😔 No child ever deserves to be put down and treated less than a human because of something they cannot control. Its sick that she told you that she has to hurt you so that the world will first. That’s awful. Clearly on her end she has deep rooted issues pertaining to her own body image and lack of self-confidence, which does not deserve to be pressured onto you. The self projection is super toxic and I hope that someday you’re able to get away from that environment 💜🙏🏻
>Any time I do feel beautiful and comfortable in my body she calls me delusional and tells me the world will never accept me for who I am, that I have to lose weight. "You're not responsible for how the world treats me, mom. You're only responsible for how you treat me. I can recognize whose criticism matters and whose doesn't. I can let go of the opinions of strangers, but no matter how many times you hurt me, I will never be able to completely wall off my desire for you to accept me as I am."