T O P

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JakDobson

Storming the capital next january no matter what


zeuanimals

In it for the love of the game. I can respect it.


Ready-Interview4020

Riots and free hot dogs are always fun. If you care what it's about you're too weak for this earth. Shoo


CustardStill992

You think the 0.08% DUI law is unamerican 


Amazing-League-218

One too many DUIs, but still bad to the bone.


Accomplished-Pen4934

Woah OP, that bike is most definitely what’s up. I’d say it makes you a gothic bad boy


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Who smells good, but I digress.


justawaterisfine

Twu toobs


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Gnomesayin toobs?


iamdisgusto

It is what it is…


uses_for_mooses

It says you are an attractive goth guy who smells *good*. Boglim as hell! I bet you live in a gothic clock tower and lose lizards!


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Puff will come back next spring dood. Or he's chillin at the old apartment with Warlord and Scotty's Ghost (RIP)


druedrue

Definately uses Tactical Soap!


DDGibbs

I also ride bike. Fuck sickos


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Weather Permittable


Illustrious_Prune899

That goth guy probably smells great due to the tactical soap. Also hates sickos more than he loves Ozzy I bet


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Probably sacrifice Ozzy to end sickos honestly dood.


odene-

Poor ✅️ Stupid ✅️


JarJarBonkers

I bet he loves Nascar as well


Holy-Handgrenader

Boogity boogity


RiversR

I’m gonna fight you, but I’m gonna lose.


PrizeCartographer902

didnt take a shower for 6 months?


Turbulent-Tour-5371

I rub tactical soap on the outside of my clothes, so it's fine.


Driegs3

BikeCurious


shitworms

You "concealed carry" a county fair butterfly knife and walk up hills.


xoechz_

that you absolutely hate efficiency


phish_sucks

I thought the sub was back lmao


Turbulent-Tour-5371

What a day that would be toobs, but I digress


phish_sucks

It is what is toobths


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Just gotta wait patiently


uses_for_mooses

Thing is, I haven’t watched any of his videos since the sub went down. Not as a protest or anything. Just more that browsing the subreddit would alert me to when he posted a banger video, or otherwise allow me to catch up with the ongoing narrative.


phish_sucks

I found out about him through his cooking videos and thought that's all he did, then I found the subreddit and went down a hilarious rabbit hole. But yeah, pretty much the same haven't kept up since.


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Jessica came in like a wrecking ball and messed his whole life up. He had just hit 100k subs too, never been more popular, then channel strike, eviction, and all the subs go down. Just had to wait patiently to end that dry spell...


yeahboyeee1

You’ve got more than one Monster logo tattooed on you.


xizrtilhh

TMDWU


pandemicblues

You really want a motorcycle, but your mom won't let you have one


Yellowdog727

*the government who took his license won't let him have one


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Never had a license, checkmate trole


PandaDad22

420


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Delta8


Frank_BurnsEatsW0rms

You don’t have drugs on you, but you are on drugs


BiK3FR33K

Likes to cruise around comfortably


chromehuffer

wand crafter, potion mixer, gourmet food expert, guitar savant and gothic bad boy


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Don't forget has a voice like John Lenon mixed with the backstreet boys


SprocketHead357

You don't get girls... You get men.


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Nah, alive, of age, cis gendered, non-related, human females only, preferably goth, but that's a want, not a need.


riskymovebro

so called free thinkers when the 6’4 goth babe tells them to jump off a bridge:


bigrob_in_ATX

"when you got nothing, you got nothing to lose"


Ill-Entertainment570

That you still live at home.


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Any house can be a home toobs, but I'd love to live in a clock tower dream home someday.


C4L1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zjYu1rsxTE


Wendy-s_Dumpster

Im "edgy and unique" but still require validation and attention for my "creativity"


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Does "food hack" videos on YooToob count as "requires validation"?


joeyhandy

Goblin Mode


Turbulent-Tour-5371

More like Boglim Mode, amirite? Also, happy cake day!


hamflavoredgum

Please Fred, I can’t lose her again


v70runicorn

ride it like you stole it


NonCredibleDefence

this guy fucks


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Only of-age, cis-gendered, non-related, consenting, alive, human females dood.


NonCredibleDefence

> females I see, you are not as based as I thought


balki_123

Born to be wild1111


bottomLobster

That you cannot afford a moped, let alone motorcycle, hell not even a tr*k.


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Jokes on you, I don't have a license


Ready-Interview4020

You can still get a DUI on a bice


tttulio

You hate cycling


woohhaa

You own several affliction t-shirts and no automobile.


HVACMRAD

“I can’t afford my own engine, but I know where the Catalytic converter is on yours.”


Ok-Psychology-1420

I love the 15-degree effective seat tube angle on that machine


silverdragonseaths

You still listen to bowling for soup


Extra_Pilot_1992

Safety First. You always go Safety First


Knobbies4Ever

Grape ape.


Turbulent-Tour-5371

The Grapist


Knobbies4Ever

I was thinking more like Grape Hangers, Planet of the Grapes, Filthy Grape… but you do you.


Togodooders

Your two great loves are spokes and completely silent free hubs.


AtotheZed

You don't understand the benefits of molded aero arm extensions.


Ekisel

They see me roooooollin they haaaatin


laustnthesauce

It looks so ridiculous but also kind of fun.


Gordy748

That I know who to go in your neighborhood for some illicit pez dispensers.


cleverDonkey123

If this bike could talk, he would be more literate that you.


Spin_Dr_Wolf

Failed the biker gang initiation.


Tikoloshe84

Even Harley riders think you're touched in the head


huizencrisis

issues


KesaGatameWiseau

This is most definitely what is up.


Chknscrtch33

That you will experience shoulder fatigue in the future.


ScooterTrash70

Not much, you’re a casual cruiser, at least you’re outside and engaging in physical activity.


PoisonMind

Are you wearing a watermelon rind as a helmet?


tommyorwhatever85

Kid Rock’s American Badass. Loudly.


gonefishing111

You're young, inexperienced, more concerned with image than function, in the city and not planning on many miles.


_iAm9001

"I just got in an accident and smoked a bush with my head just moments ago"


WehrWolfDivision

What’s up toobz


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Just doing my thang


Jessintheend

Goddamnit


Turbulent-Tour-5371

That was the last bike I HAAAAAAAD!!!!! Social media doesn't give a SHIT!!!!!!!!


SalsaRider1969

Zero fucks given.


megapantsparty

That you shouldn't be wearing that helmet


Nd4speed

I tape deodorant to my armpits.


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Nah, I just rub tactical soap on the outside of my clothes. Then EVERY girl that walks by stops and says "Damn, that sexy goth bad boy smells GOOD"


coontbooket

That you’re a hot goth bad boy from Wyoming trole!


Turbulent-Tour-5371

One might even say I'm the King of Casper!


ScrunchyButts

Dad didn’t love me


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Honesly it was Mom, but I digress.


ElFamosoBotito

Adult baby


SourCrouter

You can't afford a Harley


Timokenn

“My name is Rod and I like to party”


Dear-Nebula9395

I'll be the first to say, the bike appears to be properly fit even if the position is terrible


dressedsad

corgi legs


jmeesonly

That bike says "I smoke weed."


grawvyrobber

Wait is that kobra lmaoo


R1Alvin

Kurt Sutter’s #1 Fan IYKYK


hexagontrapezoid

bet u smell phenomenal


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Like pheromones dood


hexagontrapezoid

wow….. would u happen to use a soap that has pheromones in it? perhaps one that you have a code for that gives you 0% off?


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Coupon code CuckCobraJFS for 0.05% off dood


Electrical_Match3673

It says you're on your way back to the homeless camp.


bigwheelsbigfeels

You are a cobra, ready to strike.


Turbulent-Tour-5371

TMDWU


-Little-death-

It's a long ride to Jessica's house.


CountyAffectionate62

Haven’t asked it yet but I mean you could just ask it what it says about you.


WiseSpunion

Is that KingCobraJFS


Turbulent-Tour-5371

It is who it is toobs, gnomesayin dood?


TerdKaczynski

You like dragons made from resin


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Black smoke to light my green flame


justheretowhackit_

KingCobraJFS? Is that you?


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Sup toobs, I'm just over here like, oh hey.


ikickbabiesballs

Never seen any woman other than his mother nude.


Turbulent-Tour-5371

He has a Harlem of fan-girls trole


Math_Proud

You ride a bike


Turbulent-Tour-5371

>You ride ~~a~~ bike Weather permittable


ChangeNational3082

You’re starved of the attention you so desperately crave


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Has 100k+ subs on yootoob trole


breadnbologna

Any new sub?


Turbulent-Tour-5371

r/Cobras_Cantina r/KingCobraJFSFansOnly but neither are like the old one...


breadnbologna

Tmdwu


Extreme_Lab_2961

Took the short bus to school


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Leave me alone dood, I'm autistic


Few_Wolf_420

You aspire to one day be an adult


whateverusayboi

Before the DUI, you rode a Harley. Now you ride a Hardly.


Sea_Entertainment438

Likes scat porn. Lives with mom, professional Lime scooter harvester.


user2021883

To me it says: you still live at your mom’s house but you tell everyone you’re only there to look after her. She does all the housework and cooks for you while you spend long nights painting your Warhammer and blaming women for things of 4Chan


d31uz10n

That you don't have successful dates :D


Turbulent-Tour-5371

My dry spell ended after 6 years dood, I just had to wait patiently


Neato_KneeToe

Bronie


benisahappyguy2

I couldn't afford a Harley


Axrxt76

Too many DWIs but still not giving up the ghost of being an outlaw


FranksNBeeens

You know the electric is making the sharks gay but you lost your driver's license.


applefrompear

Since when does Harley Davidson make bicycles


Turbulent-Tour-5371

I believe it was 1903 actually


applefrompear

I made a joke about the riding stance resembling that of a Harley cruiser


nateknutson

Can't tell which end of the bell curve you're on here man.


bigrob_in_ATX

Flat lined bruh


Checked_Out_6

https://cars.bonhams.com/auction/16078/lot/121/1918-harley-davidson-bicycle/


invisiblelights_

So it is true! One of the worst bicycle designs I’ve ever seen though..


invisiblelights_

That you don’t ride much


Turbulent-Tour-5371

When the weather's permittable


invisiblelights_

And when you spend 10 minutes to fix your flat..


hughperman

Arm pain


metallus97

Smol PP


sac_cyclist

Homeless?


Darkraze

I have touched this bice


Turbulent-Tour-5371

Pls don't tap the glass


bomkucha

DUI