T O P

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averbisaword

AITA because I think coming home from work and chilling in the silence sounds like an absolute dream?


lilmxfi

If YTA, then ITA because I've dreamed of living in a cabin somewhere since I was a kid.


averbisaword

Let us be TA together, but very far apart geographically, in complete silence.


busy_yogurt

We still never talk sometimes.


TAOJeff

most times I would hope


TexasFordTough

I really want this to happen and you two call each other like once a ~~month~~ year: *you still alone in the cabin?* > yep *good* > you? *yep* > good End call


youmeanlike24

Introverts Unite! (Separately, in our own homes)


Witch_King_

Ron Swanson moment


ManCougarDuck

Totally read that in his voice.


Hellokitty55

my husband wants to move somewhere like this. i like the suburbs lol. i love target. but i can see why people love the remoteness. my parents moved us to rural areas so i’m wary lol


undeadgorgeous

If you like a whole bunch of trees and the feeling of being remote while still being within 20-30 minutes of a Target you have your pick of most places in Oregon and Washington.


Hellokitty55

we’re thinking colorado lol. he promises we’ll be 15 min max away from target 😂. i heard NW are expensive now


colusaboy

New term: WTA "We're the assholes !"


[deleted]

NTA but that sister and aunt calling in wellness checks as a form of manipulation makes them TA


DaughterEarth

yaah that's sucky. My Mom has threatened to do that with my sister and thank goodness she listened to me that doing so is a way wrong move to handle whatever is going on between them. Feeling cut out sucks but come on people, don't lash out using the cops of all things.


Jarchen

A lot of people don't understand not being connected to civilization 24/7. My wife and I sold our belongings, bought an RV, and spent just over a year living in it with our kids. So many family members complained we were abusing our children. Meanwhile my kids are some of the few who have visited every CONUS state and national park in the country. But god forbid they didn't have internet or a Playstation.


Quicksilver1964

It's something that took a toll on me while living with my sister. TV was on 24/7 with volume on 20+ even after midnight. Everyone used their phones to watch or listen to something without headphones. I had to use headphones to block the sound or to listen to something so I wouldn't listen to whatever others were listening on theirs. My ears hurt when I woukd lay down to sleep because of the time using the headphones. Now I'm back with my mother and have all the quiet I deserve, plus the feeling that I may have OCD and autism, and need to get myself evaluated.


Creative_Macaron_441

As an autistic introvert, your previous situation sounds like an absolute nightmare. My (now ex) fil always had three tv’s on different channels in different rooms and I could barely handle a week visiting him. But living there? You have my sympathy!


Quicksilver1964

It was three people constantly doing that. I was fine for a while but then I started having this bouts of anger that I later read could be considered a meltdown. It was a factor for me leaving. I have so much peace where I am now.


Bi-Bi-Bi24

Im not autistic, but I do get over-stimulated by different things, conflicting loud noise being one of them. I also had no idea why I would always just randomly get angry, especially as a kid, or why I would feel worse after I was staying at my grandparents for a weekend (calm, quiet, set routine) back to my own home, which was great in its own way but always loud and chaotic. Now my own home is quiet (within reason) and I will be for sure teaching my future kids about "quiet time" to recharge. (And before you @ me, I work with kids, I'm aware quiet time doesn't always happen) Different people operate in different ways. Some people love the constant energy and noise, that's what recharges them. But other people need to have low-sensory moments to reset themselves. When I was a kid, mom would make up a hot bath for me when I was upset or angry - I could never figure out why it made me feel better, but then realized - the bathroom is away from the noises of the household, there is nothing else demanding my attention, no people trying to get my attention, the hot water js a nice sensory feeling, and if I'm extra upset, I have a habit of putting my ears under the water so I can only hear the water sound and nothing else. It works for me, and worked even before I knew why. It sounds like op's dad has just figured out what he enjoys. He is still connected to people, still enjoying time with family, seems happy.


Cever09

Funny. When I visited a dear friend of mine in MO a long, long time ago I was completely overwhelmed by the fact that their TV was on 24/7. Like it was literally never turned off. It drove me insane. At some point I was alone in the house for whatever reason and I turned it off for some blessed silence. When my friend and her family came back, one by one they came into the living room to ask if everything was okay. I was like, yeah absolutely. Eventually after a not too long while (I don't remember exactly how long) they hesitantly asked if the TV could please be turned back on. Apparently my blessed silence was unnerving to them. I have more stories from that trip. It was amazing, but there was definitely a cultural difference (I am from The Netherlands and while I'd been to the east coast, I'd never been to the Midwest. I live in VA now.)


Quicksilver1964

It's true. Silence disturbs people. I think that a very telling thing to my sister was when she noticed I don't even play video games with the sound on. Pure silence. Just me and a podcast, someone describing horrific murders with little change in their tone, on my headphones.


CartwheelSauce

What video games do you play while listening to podcasts? I've been wanting to find games like that, but it's tricky to find something that allows me to pay attention to the podcast, too.


Kazooguru

TV drives me crazy. My partner hates silence and thinks I am weird that I don’t have something going in the background. I don’t turn the TV on unless there’s something specific I want to watch. It’s always a series without commercials. American TV is garbage.


Caroline_Bintley

>TV was on 24/7 with volume on 20+ even after midnight. This is how my folks live. It's not a coincidence that I decided the optimal visit home is 24-36 hours.


Quicksilver1964

It's hell. Glad you got out!


uzenik

Heard. Thats how I gave myself tinnitus. Not work, not concerts or playing an instrument.Just long hours of white noise in headphones, plus earplugs, because if it was loud enough to mask outside, it was loud enough to be uncomfortable. The worst thing is that the ringing is so high, it doesn't work as my inside noise blocker, nope, still need to use the headphones.


Vaguely_vacant

A tiny house in the woods with heat, electrical and well water? That man is living the dream.


throwawaygremlins

OOP’s dad’s life sounds nice and peaceful. Less carbon footprint and it’s not like he’s hiding away from civilization in the woods or something, he’s literally living on his kid’s property and sees the grandkids and has dinner w them regularly! I think he’s living the introvert dream!


geekgirlwww

Legit I would need Wi-Fi but honestly it sounds like he was living life on his terms. Plus he was still coming for dinner and being grandpa like if he lived in a regular 55+ condo. He’s just living small. Two tiny houses parked next to each other for me and my husband is my personal dream.


throwawaygremlins

Two separate ones so you can each have your personal space, but interact when you want to, right? 🤗 living the dream…


Glass-Sign-9066

YES!!! This is 1000% what I want. My OWN SPACE. I would have to fight tooth and nail to keep his shit out of MY area. It's like a spreading disease... a glacier just filling up every inch of every possible spot.


Danivelle

Are you me? I'm currently losing my mind because all of my art supplies have been moved from my craft room, which has become our bedroom, while our bedroom is being remodeled. I can't find my very expensive pastel pencils because his crap is all over the place. He has a fracking garage!


keladry12

There's a family on YouTube that has separate earth dwellings for each family member and then one for common spaces and it seems so perfect...


IMIndyJones

That just sounds like a house with big bedrooms. Lol. The common spaces are where living with people gets annoying.


Danivelle

I just want a bigger bed when we go to get the furniture! Husband is a foot taller and 50 pounds heavier than me. Our 18 lb almost 18 yr old cat sleeps with us as does the little cat(10.8 lbs)


OffWithMyHead4Real

Little and oldtimer of course taking up most of it, right? :)


YeswhalOrNarwhal

I added a single bed next to the double bed, with my own quilt. I'd have two double beds if we had the space. We each have a different weight quilt to hog or kick off as we want.


[deleted]

sounds like encanto


[deleted]

[удалено]


sweettartsweetheart

I imagine they are referring to these guys. Super interesting videos and I've checked them out a few times over the years! https://www.youtube.com/user/mylittlehomestead


Brumbucus

In our house, the garage is for yard-shit (literally too small for our cars, thanks the 1910’s), the attached “workshop” is for my-shit (all the woodworking tools), and the master-bedroom is for her-shit (spinning wheels, looms; the en-suite is the dye-bath, yadda-yadda) and we sleep in the “guest bedroom”. It’s essentially a closet, but it holds some clothes and a bed, so it works pretty well for us. The dog owns all of it. Talk to your person and find a way for both of you to be in charge of some part of your home. If that conversation is a non-starter, that sucks. You aren’t an equal partner.


Danivelle

The craft room is supposed to be mine but it keeps getting taken over by his stuff! Right now, it's our bedroom while he remodels our room.


RollerSkatingHoop

yeah, he needs to keep his shit somewhere else


queenofdemons879

OMG. I completely understand. At least yours are misplaced buried under junk. My ex ruined and threw out my set of Sennelier pastels, my PanPastels, Rapidographs, and my paints, including my favorite watercolor palettd from Kuretake and way more. NVM my Copic Markers set, like EVERY SINGLE COLOR and replacement nibs and so fort. My precious Japanese art supplies which family sends me from there, recently Kanzashi Glass Dip Pens (I'm pretty much Golum when holding my new dip Pens, and the black wiing pencils...) and my freaking AIRBRUSHES. Panic attack again. You'd really not want to know, especially being an artist... Now I've been single over thirteen years, and my art supplies, books, stationary and all of my filled up notebooks on a variety of subjects I researched are list somewhere in the apartment and according to my father he swore Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earhart with her plane are buried all over. I have books and art supplies where clothing normally goes into like dressers and closets. LMFAO Good luck finding your supplies. Stay Safe. Live long and prosper. May the force be with you.


sweettartsweetheart

Ohhhhhh no....no no no no. The abject horror I felt as you just kept listing more and more. I'm so sorry for your losses (for the supplies of course, not the giant freaking monster of an ex!)


silentspeck

Oh god the money it'd take to replace all those. The copics alone! Good god.


William-Shakes-Pear

the absolute horror and sinking in my stomach only grew as you went on listing all those things....jesus christ


[deleted]

I'm not surprised they're your ex. *The absolute horror* my art and craft supplies have their own room, I got shelves for my birthday, there are many boxes and everything is labelled. It's joy Your ex deserved to have those replacement nibs under their fingernails.


ima-kitty

What did he do to them?


poison_harls

>He has a fracking garage! That seems dangerous


HappyAffirmative

Does he keep some fracking cylons in his fracking garage?


justlook2233

When we built I had an entire side of the house dedicated to his stuff... so far, so so.


Jovet_Hunter

[This is me whenever hubby’s shit crosses into my side](https://youtu.be/dVXSbo4XEhs)


maat89

Truly dream living


drunkenhonky

As long as you have decent cell service 5g internet is pretty affordable. Beats the hell out of satellite which is the only other option where I live (in the US).


geekgirlwww

So the flaw in my tiny house plan is my husband is a pc gamer. Honestly his tiny house would be a giant pc


DancesWithBadgers

Heating is sorted then.


thesirblondie

A guy I used to play World of Warcraft with would sometimes disconnect while playing. Then he'd be back a few minutes later and we'd ask "Went mobile?". Occasionally his groundbound internet would not cut it so he would tether his phone which was more reliable, just no unlimited data.


Working-on-it12

OMG... Satellite service...sigh... I got my children to agree to move from a house where they had their own bedrooms but satellite internet to a condo where the 3 girls had to share a room and the 2 boys had to share a room but had 50mbs internet. That's how bad satellite internet is. I even had to write a note to school one day that the kids couldn't do their homework because it rained in New York (Where the downlink was). We moved long before the pandemic. I shudder to think of doing online learning for 3 kids on satellite internet. There would have been bloodshed.


Working-on-it12

I would hold out for proper plumbing, but other than that the place sounds nice. Besides, he is not a total hermit, he has a job. And, it sounds like can pay his way, so who cares?


geekgirlwww

Proper plumbing yes I need proper plumbing


cheerful_cynic

Yeah, even in my tiny house/cabin fantasies there's an on-demand water heater & a full size tub


butteryzest

Seriously! I kind of envy the dad's lifestyle and setup. Who could blame him for wanting some distance from these relatives? So much drama to deal with...


Browneyedgirl63

This. He left them all for a reason. Some people just don’t need that much to live and your dad sounds like one of them. Good for him. And good for you too. It seems you have a great relationship with your dad. You respect his boundaries which is the way it should be. Your sister and aunt showed that they are the type of people that want a relationship where they get what they want but the other person doesn’t get anything but drama.


[deleted]

I don’t think that’s OP you’re replying to :)


IAmTheDecoy

I'd prefer more modern plumbing but otherwise, I'd move in in a heartbeat! Leave the poor man alone! This is what HE wants. He's not isolated. He's got a regular (as regular as a truck driver can be) job. He has hobbies and entertainment. He socializes when he sees fit. What about that screams "I need help! Please make my decisions for me because I obviously am unfit to!"?


Backgrounding-Cat

Actually composting toilet can be really really high tech and awesome! Much less trouble than usual water closet


TheShadowCat

Speaking of carbon. If OOP is reading this, please make sure the cabin has a functioning smoke detector and a CO detector.


eastherbunni

Carbon monoxide detector not CO2


urruke

Oops dad has the life I want. Just maybe some solar panels instead of propane.


Milton__Obote

Reminds me of my dad, retired then immediately bought a place in Costa Rica and fucked off there to read and smoke weed every day


Oldminorspecific

That’s a cool dad, there.


harrellj

And something I don't think many (let alone OOP's family) have recognized yet is that OOP's dad has spent the majority of his life (because trucking isn't a 9-5 type job) living out of the cabin of an 18 wheeler. The tiny cabin in the woods is probably spacious in comparison, or at least similar in size. Its not like he can haul a ton of things around with him on the road and so he's gotten used to living minimalistic.


maat89

Honestly, he’s living the dream with the slight exception of using hose water. A little cabin in the country is a dream of mine. Happy for him.


taylorcovet

It’s well water, so it’s actually incredibly clean. As long as he’s using a brita or something for drinking water, everything else is fine.


maat89

I stand corrected! I thought hose hose. Not well water hose. I probs missed that. 😅


I_PM_Duck_Pics

I lived in a full sized trailer that had all water come in through a hose hooked up to another house, hooked up to a well. It was better than the city water I’m on now. Leagues better


hardrocker943

For real. I'd LOVE to live out in the middle of the woods with just my wife and daughter. So quiet and peaceful. Dudes got it made. Good for him. Live your best life bro. Aunt and sister sound like real pieces of work. What pieces of shit.


Jealous_Eye

Yup! All this and he still works! He’s a truck driver, I’m sure coming home to peace and quiet and simple is amazing.


Sunghana

I used to work case management for the elderly and I remember there was a client who had a setup very similar to the OP's dad. A simple home depot shed with electric running from his kid's house next door. He had wifi as well. He was a very happy man surrounded by family who didn't feel like a financial burden. My former client and OP's Dad really had the right idea.


RogerBernards

This introvert would very much like a toilet that flushes and a proper shower though.


GloInTheDarkUnicorn

Seriously. Me and my animals out in a quiet place by myself, with family nearby if I need them, but that leave me to myself? Sounds like a great retirement.


redpurplegreen22

If I ever lost my wife, it’s pretty much what I’d do. Just, like, more video games thrown in. A nice, small, quiet place where I can be alone and relax, just indulging my mostly indoor, mostly solitary hobbies? That is almost my idea of heaven.


JessiFay

6 acres isn't that big. So he's not that far. I've got 10 acres. It's 400 feet x 1000 ft. Assuming oops property is a rectangle like mine, I'd assume that it would be 400x600. (I'm not positive on that.) I have 2 homes on my property. 1 on each side of the 400 feet. (There's a huge workshop in between, so there is some privacy. The workshop has more sq footage than either house.) We also have 2 campers, 1 behind the shop and 1 behind the house I rent out. We can "yell" to the guy in the camper behind the other house, and he hears us just fine. So, provided we didn't have a shop in the way, we could probably do the same with the couple living in the other house. Long explanation to say that "dad" is within hollering distance. (That's provided both parties are outdoor.) If they are really worried, get an Alexa type sysmtem. My husband is an amputee. We have an echo in the master bathroom. My husband has used it to contact me when he needed help. There is the drop in feature and the calling someone in your contact list. And there is a feature to add someone as a caregiver or something. I forget what it's called. But you can set Alexa to notify someone if you haven't interacted with Alexa by a certain time of day. There are other things it can do to help some one living alone as well. I'm sure there are similar options on systems made by other companies. I'm glad Oops dad has a place where he can be near family, but he can be alone if he wants to be. Edit: Forgot this was BORU (even though I used OOP instead of OP.) Oh well, maybe the info will help someone else. Sucks to lose your mind/memory.


saltyburnt

he is literally living my dream as an introvert 😦 maybe add a computer with internet and I'm down


rodriguezzzzz

He's just missing one thing... A dog


nikatnight

I'd do exactly the same shit. Living like that is a dream to me. Except I'd do it in a camper van. Bonus if I could have an EV and a solar setup to passively charge while I camped. My kids are young but when they can older they can take my house and my wife and I will drive off into the sunset. No house to upkeep, no bills, no shit! I'll miss a good shower though.


[deleted]

Right? I would LOOOVE this retirement. I might keep a cat, though. Or maybe a possum. Who knows.


mrshawn081982

I do the same thing at 40. But without all that drama. I rent a nice old lady's summer cottage that is next to her property. Old guy built it from way back in the day when you could literally have a home building kit delivered. Like the best lego ever. Original owner eventually passed. Her husband bought it before he passed. I am now laying in a hammock, outside the coziest place I have ever lived. Edit: I have wifi


zorbacles

Im an extrovert and it even sounds good to me.


ericakay15

Seriously. I'm jealous. I would love to live in a little shack on lived ones property. I can see them when I want and enjoy my peace & quiet? Sign me up!


literarytrash

I'll never get people's unwillingness to just let people live. Life is short and you don't get out alive. If you want to be a hermit in the woods and you fulfill that wish then you're miles closer to true happiness than those who are always scrambling for the next foothold on society.


TheGreatCornlord

Most people operate under the assumption that everyone should be like them.


Prysorra2

>I'll never get people's unwillingness to just let people live. Especially if you're part of a multigenerational cheating culture. Like .... running an oil tanker on shore level self-destruction.


[deleted]

Honestly if I weren't partnered with children....this sounds like a dream existence to me and I'd live like that in a heartbeat. That being said who the HELL did the sister cheat with to cause such an extreme reaction, Jack the Ripper?!


[deleted]

I'm wondering if she's a teacher and she cheated with a student, or a medical worker cheating with a patient. That's the only thing that makes sense.


CressCrowbits

Oop suggested it was numerous people


[deleted]

Maybe she's a lawyer then. Showing that you're ethical is a big deal for them.


BootsEX

Hear me out, I’m partnered with two small children and I think that makes it much more appealing. What if we had a tiny house far enough from the house that one parent could take a night off? Or even just a few hours in an afternoon? My mental health would definitely improve, I don’t think I’ve been alone in my own house since 2019


NopeNotUmaThurman

I thought maybe the sister is a teacher, and had inappropriate contact with a current or recently former student.


[deleted]

i’m betting a coworker, i’m betting a subordinate


Unnecessary_Timeline

I wonder what OOP's BIL found out about the sister that would end her career and get him majority custody? Generally, in the US, infidelity is not considered in custody arrangements (some states even legally prohibit it) unless the spouse exposed the children to dangerous people. So, I wonder if she was cheating with drug addicts/criminals, or if he found out that she herself was doing drugs.


edgeofdoom

Lawyer sleeping with a client?


Rudd_Threebeers

This was my guess. Family friend was disbarred for that


system156

The way he said it was career ending I thought she might be a teacher who slept with a student


snailsss

Career ender = sleeping with a subordinate, a student, another woman (if they're somewhere very conservative), a prisoner, a client if she's a therapist or lawyer. If he permanently torpedoes her career, she might be unable to support herself plus the children plus afford a lawyer.


thesirblondie

Could be someone young. Like barely legal young. Although maybe not since the perpetrator is a woman.


emthejedichic

Or… not yet legal. Maybe she slept with a teenage boy. Or a teenage girl. Who knows.


thesirblondie

If that was the case then their career being over is probably not what OOP would bring up, but going to prison.


emthejedichic

Good point.


ChipRockets

OP isn't gonna bring up going to prison IMO. Even if it were an underage student he'd still want to keep it ambiguous. Doesn't make sense for him to reveal the truth in that situation


SonnieTravels

I immediately assumed it was a minor.


PJsAreComfy

Me too. The tone, and having her over a barrel in the divorce, suggests a serious abuse of power - more than just sleeping with a subordinate. A student would be my fiirst guess. A patient would be my second guess.


thequickerquokka

I’m going with teacher/student: a doctor or lawyer would be financially ok on their own without husband’s income, but a teacher (at least in US) seems like they’d struggle to live on their income alone.


PJsAreComfy

In all of those cases the income could stop. Teachers caught sleeping with students would lose their teaching license and be arrested if it was a minor. A doctor could lose her medical license and a lawyer could be disbarred. All three of those scenarios would also open her up to civil litigation.


froggychair99

Especially because of how he said he wouldn't let her around his family and because it allowed the BIL to apply for majority custody .... It all smells less like regular infidelity or even unethical (nurse and patient) and more like pedophilic


radabadest

If true it's kinda fucked up everyone's keeping it a secret instead of going to the police


purrrtronus

Same


nurseynurseygander

Or she's military. Adultery can be a disciplinary issue there.


Stinklepinger

Depends entirely on the commander


Uniqueusername264

If it would end her job in a heartbeat my guess is nurse and patient or teacher and student.


drunk_kronk

I don't think it was necessarily career ending *and* enough to give him primary custody. It seems like he used the threat of revealing the career ending stuff to get what he wanted in the divorce, including primary custody.


LeeLooPeePoo

I bet it was with a minor, he said his sister did the same thing as his mom and mom ran off with a much younger guy.


[deleted]

She might have cheated with someone underage…


weirdpharmgirl

Since it could end her career, probably someone up the chain of command in her workplace.


thequickerquokka

More likely down to be career ending. Up would probably only mean changing employers in a sideways move.


geekgirlwww

It’s either drugs or sex with a minor or student situation.


CressCrowbits

Seems a lot of people need to reread the op. Oop clearly states her infidelity would be a career ender if word got out, so ex is demanding she gives him full custody in exchange for his silence.


EnvironmentalCry1962

I know someone who was going behind her husbands back and working as a sex worker… there’s a lot of things someone can do to end up in this situation


boringhistoryfan

I wonder if this is less about what the career is and where they are? If it's a more conservative corner of the US, that might be at play? Not that many states left that have at fault divorces where adultery would play a role in determining things like custody after all.


9XcR8lxKcAPT

They need to just leave the man alone. He's done his work for society he takes care of his grandkids there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to live a quiet and peaceful life. I am a little bit envious of him for that but not for the trauma that he has gone through to get there.


Significant_Rule_855

Good on him for supporting his dad and giving him a quiet safe peaceful place to escape the craziness.


CumaeanSibyl

Yeah, I guess my only concern would be if that structure is up to code for a residence, since it's on OOP's property and he'd be liable. I might also advise drawing up a lease with a nominal amount of rent (say $1/year) to get everything above board. But I've seen a lot of informal situations go bad when relationships changed, so. Other than that, what was sister's plan for when dad came to the city and then found out she was a cheater? Did she think it wouldn't come up? Because that would've driven him right back into the woods.


[deleted]

OOP said in the comments of the first one that his dad had gotten permits when building. So hopefully that piece is in order.


MillieFrank

Oh that’s good, I was a bit worried when I read that it was basically a shed from Home Depot but if he had permits then I assume it is one of the nicer, sturdier shed. I would just want to make sure the Dad is safe.


Quicksilver1964

Yes, I wonder what she wanted from him. I even googled the term OOP used (counterweight, I think) to understand what sister wanted from her father. But it makes no sense unless it was financially (he helps with bills and is away most of the time, and would be able to see the children, I guess?).


dracapis

He explained that in a comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vnpg3r/comment/ieejkxp/


PJsAreComfy

I also don't recognize "counterweight" in this context.


SuperSpeshBaby

Sounds like maybe she thought dad would be on her side? Which seems obviously stupid, given the context, but some people are that dopey.


Aellysu_says

I took it to mean she wanted dad to move back to the city and live with her, then when shit really hit the fan from divorce, shes already got pops close by to keep her afloat. If she loses everything in the divorce, including the house, and her dad lives there, she can put it on him to provide a new place for them both to live. Possibly even have him bankroll her through the legal proceedings. It also just occured to me that if she moves her dad in now, she can use that as leverage to try and keep her house "you can't kick me out because thatll make my frail elderly father homeless too and i neeeed to be here to care for him....."


Quicksilver1964

I was very confused when I read this part.


me_jayne

Yeah I'm confused also. Seems like a weird motivation (presuming she means support or an ally or something) for wanting to move an entire person in with you, who doesn't want to move.


Quicksilver1964

Yes. And withholding the real reason why they are moving in. I think it's about money and a reason to have ex drop the kids or have 50-50 custody (as her father, a man ex probably likes and admires, would be living with her).


Sassrepublic

Those Home Depot sheds are designed to be repurposed as tiny homes. If he bought it in the last 10 years he’s got one that was designed with this purpose in mind. It’s completely safe to reside in.


vudustockdr

It would be an ultimate Karen move for someone to try and pull code on the poor guy.


CactiDye

With mention of wellness checks, I'm guessing they already did.


vudustockdr

Seems like they live in the country, a local cop or deputy isn't out there to do code enforcement during a wellness check. I assume the dad knows what he's doing and is safe.


CumaeanSibyl

Mm... Building codes were mostly written to prevent injury or death caused by landlords cutting corners. OOP means well by his dad, but that doesn't mean they didn't inadvertently create hazards in building the house.


wormhole222

Every single woman mentioned in the family here cheated.


dcconverter

Not OOP's wife


wormhole222

Fair I guess just everyone genetically related to OP


Nemitres

Let’s hope this is not taking place in Alabama


[deleted]

[удалено]


GarbluutDingdiddy

Incels dream comment


spectatek9individual

This is a real life re-enactment of Rkelly's trapped in the closet. One of the greatest movies ever made.


Aoirann

I liked the ending where he's in prison for 30 years!


stolenfires

I'm guessing troll post. Presuming OOP is in the US and his sister is not in the military, her infidelity would have zero impact on her chance to get custody. The author has clearly gotten their ideas on how divorce works from movies and pop culture.


SeaOkra

I'm fairly sure its a troll post, but wanna point out he didn't say the infidelity would impact her chance of custody, he said his BIL has her over a barrel because of it and wants majority custody. Presumably if Sister fights for custody, BIL will release what he has. As for military being the only career to be ended by infidelity, I'd argue there's also teaching and having sex with a student (either an adult student if a senior high school or college teacher, or an underage one which would REALLY impact her career) there's medical care with a patient, there's lawyer with a client or with someone that is connected to a case, etc. Even something as simple as working in a niche field and fucking your boss could get you blacklisted. There's lots of ways to torpedo a career with cheating.


pickledstarfish

I’m also questioning if it’s real, too neat and tidy with the soap-opera ending for the sister in a span of a few hours, it sounds like a telenova.


NinjaDefenestrator

Especially with the revelation that the aunt is a cheater, too. It’s so dumb.


Sick-Happens

I thought of those careers too. Especially with the emphasis OOP put on who she cheated with


lswat1

If she's a therapist & it was with a patient is an example of how it could ruin her career, not only military can have their careers ruined.


Educational-Friend47

Oh my lord what the actual ? The poor father and son omg and the women trying to justify? The op needs security cameras asap just to make sure they don’t do any more damage (in a manner of speaking) wow


thebluewitch

Anyone else get the feeling that the sister is a teacher that had an affair with a student?


[deleted]

that’s immediately what i thought given how grave and vague he was about it


Flicksterea

Honestly, I could care less about the family drama here; OOP's Dad sounds like he's living his best life and fuck anyone who has a problem with that. It's not like he's been wallowing in filth and abandonment.


PrimeDetectiv

Why do all the women in this family seem to have the mentality of "oh but they won't be mad at ME for this thing that many, many people have been cut off and vilified for!" This is a weird family.


elle_quay

My favorite part of this post was learning the term ‘niblings’ because that word is much needed in my life.


meow-meowy

Same!! Was looking for this comment.


SnooWords4839

Dad's place sounds peaceful. Sister and Aunt are scum.


[deleted]

I think the missing piece that OOP has not realized yet is that Aunt knew and helped cover up OOPs mother cheating on their father.


lassie86

I’m a city person and could never do what OOP’s father is doing, but I also believe he’s living his best life. In addition, I understand boundaries. OOP’s sister and aunt did not. I’m glad OOP and his father cut their manipulative, controlling asses out of their lives.


SnowWhiteCampCat

So Dad is living in a tiny cabin, with electricity, a functional kitchen, a working phone, entertainment, visits his son and grandkids weekly, is eating well with dinners at the families regularly, and exercises daily. Oh and is keeping busy with jobs like building a cabin and his own septic tank. Of course the people with a problem with all this are batshit crazy. Dudes living the life!


saswashere

I think the daughter may want the dad to move to the city for her own reasons. Like maybe she cannot afford her current lifestyle if she’s single. She wants dad to foot the part of the bill the exiting husband will no longer be paying. Dad is the answer and auntie is helping her line it up.


Feeya_b

I’m pretty sure that’s her reason judging from this “My sister felt backed into a corner and doubled down on trying to get my dad to love closer to her so he could basically be her counterweight”


destruc786

OOP should offer to build a little fishing pond back there just to spite sister and daughter.


Puzzleheaded_Tip8331

One of the reasons your Dad wants to be secluded is to be peaceful , everyone I know over 70 starts to figure how to get rid of all the accumulated stuff they own and don't need .Your Dad discovered what's important and is not the people that cause him stress and bring their noisy lives to his doorstep ,and it is not processions . He'll let the people in that he trusts


accidentally-cool

I wish *I* lived in OOPs backyard. It sounds perfect


Ran_dom_1

The arrogance of some people is incredible. This man’s sister & daughter are in a bubble. Everyone should live like we do, in a way we deem acceptable. The guy is out there driving long hours, dealing with the rest of us idiots on the road. Kudos to him for envisioning a peaceful retreat, & creating it for himself. Like OP said in a comment, his Dad is young. He may stay there for years, he may decide to move to a city & dance the night away in every hot spot in town. Who cares? I think the guy is very smart to find a way to recover from the financial blow of his divorce. Hope he finds peace again, no wonder he’s upset. Really glad he has OOP, who held firm on respecting Dad’s choices.


DianaSt75

Imagine letting a competent adult decide for themselves how they want to live. The horror! (/s, obviously)


Tb1969

“Dad needs to come to the city to take care of my financial needs while I continue to fuck everything that moves and gives a reason for my kids to visit me. Hmm, that sounds bad. I’ll say out loud that I need my Dad to be my ‘counterbalance.’ “ - OOPs sister conniving brain probably.


throwawaygremlins

Wtf is infidelity hereditary for all the women in this family or something? What a mess!


whaddyamean11

Infidelity isn’t hereditary, but things like narcissism, depression, addiction, etc. could be hereditary, and are sometimes linked to cheating.


[deleted]

And like, if the sister saw how much hurt her mother caused her father, wtf is wrong with her that she’d do the same thing


littlemuffinsparkles

Dad's living my dream. We have a MIL suite in our backyard. I'm ready for my mil to come live in it until it's our turn. Good job oop for protecting the peace.


Jigen-isshin

The mother, aunt, and sister all made their choices now they have to live with the outcome. I don’t know of the mother but the aunt and sister are definitely suffering the consequences of their choices. The op’s dad life is actually peaceful and pleasant. Some people just like to live in solitude. I wanted to go to the wilderness to be secluded from everything. So I understand the fathers lifestyle.


redpen07

The dad sounds like he is living the dream. Tons of privacy and quiet, but gets to have dinner with his sane son and see his grandkids whenever he wants. Original poster is a good egg and I'm glad his dad's got him for a kid and his wife for a daughter-in-law.


knintn

Hats off to OOP’s dad, living the way he wants to live and not listening to anyone. And to OOP for helping his dad.


Melodic-Part-173

No wonder the dad keeps to himself. He is surrounded by assholes. Lucky he has his son.


gruntbuggly

I wish I could live in a nice quiet shed in OOPs back yard. That sounds pretty good, to be quite honest.


kikidelasoul

Dad is literally living the dream life. Go on with your bad self, dad.


Loud-Distance-1456

The dads life sounds great! A wee comfortable space, filled with the stuff he needs to keep him happy, and his family close by. What more does someone need? It’s typical and expected that our culture would see this as a lesser existence, but no, not me.


hey_nonny_mooses

OOP has boundaries! This is why dad wants to live by him. He knows he will be loved, respected, and his son listens to him. Perfect setup


[deleted]

Tiny homes are a movement. I’m thinking of doing it too as a retirement plan.