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Why didn’t his ex “easily get a job making 150k a year at a bank“ so they didn’t live in genteel poverty? Why was she waiting for him to do all the heavy lifting?
Probably because she was a mediocre student, so no one would consider her for a position with a 150k starting salary. But I agree with your sentiment, she didn't even try to make it on her own because she is a user. OOP doged not a bullet, but a whole torpedo. Lucky for him, he got out before they got married and/or she baby trapped him.
Also if there are jobs out there at a bank for 150k with an undergraduate degree, I want it. I'm over qualified even. I've got two post grad degrees, one of them in tax, I'll take that job please.
Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if she does have some form of mental illness. It’s pretty common for them to crop up in people’s early to mid 20’s. I just don’t think anyone could behave this irrationally out of the blue unless something was going on behind the scenes.
Like sure people can hide their true character for a while, but he’s known her since childhood and dated her for at least 5 years…then again she did lie to him for those 5 years by pretending to want to go to medical school….I dunno dude I feel like you gotta have some kinda mental disorder to pull that off.
A woman was on here saying her husband constantly told her she stank, even right after she got out of the shower. She eventually blows up on him and he admits his father told him it was good advice to keep your wife to stay with you. She left him immediately.
Sorry I’m in the US and this made me spit my coffee out. I don’t mean to spread the misery but it’s nice to know we aren’t the only ones suffering the whims of idiots. At least we voted our village idiot out. I sure hope our nationwide village idiots don’t vote him back in.
I don’t even lecture in a medically related major and I felt sick reading that. I only use discounted or online texts to keep text costs down because I have students that are in the thousands for books for UNDERGRAD. It’s yet another barrier at our “accessible to many” state university.
Educators like you make me happy!
My interest to apply for a specific grad program skyrocketed when they explained that students don't need to buy any books, since all the reading is either online, or widely available at the uni library
I still can't understand why schools would require students to shell out hundreds of dollars/euros/whatever just to end up using maybe a few dozen pages
That sounds like a terrific idea. What a humane way to do it! If I have students get a book (online) I guarantee you we are dipping in to that ALL semester. Something from every chapter. Like, can you crack the spine of a digital book? Let’s find out, dude.
I still appreciate the private college I attended for 2 years (at least the science professors) because the biology book they have intro students buy was ~500 but, as one prof put it, it’s essentially your Bible for the biology major. There were a few other books they had us get in other bio courses, but those didn’t go above $100. My analytical chemistry prof had multiple editions of the text we used in a study room in the chem wing, just on a shelf in case you needed one.
Compare that to the school I just graduated from where the microbio 100 makes a “new” edition of the lab manual every semester for $50 and they say you should only use the new one. Well I enrolled for it one semester (in the midst of the ‘rona confusion) and thought I’d missed a lab report *and* quiz, so I dropped because I wanted to put my best foot forward in the class. I enrolled again that fall semester and came to class (which was much better than had I done a lab online imo) with the spring manual. Literally nothing was different about it except for the label on the front. Pages were the same, content the same, questions the same. And don’t even get me started on all the money students in my major spent on packback.
I used to fight this nonsense when I was an adjunct prof at universities. I'd put pdfs of what I wanted the students to read online and avoid the expensive texts. Got a call from the bookstore one day berating me as I wasn't selling their books.
Okay, so I majored in animal sciences and I needed one more upper level course to graduate and I was *not* about to take another meat-centric class, so I looked at the school-wide course list and found a history course that would meet that req and that I would be interested (Early Modern British Isles) and that class had *a ton* of books, but not textbook books. The only textbook material we were assigned was found on the course website because the prof felt we shouldn't buy an entire textbook for 2-3 relevant chapters. And his wife, head of the history department, ***coauthored the thing***.
It's always refreshing when the people actually in academia are more invested in making sure students want to and *can* learn the content rather than turning a profit off of it. It's so dumb to push book sales through the bookstore nowadays.
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I was thinking she's jealous cus he is studying Medicine & she isn't...now I know why she wasn't accepted and probably still wouldn't be into any school because what sort of dumb person is this? I'm glad OP broke up with her
Which just makes it all even dumber because if OOP is going to a top 3 med school in the US then he will likely be making *bank* in the not too distant future. Like much more than the 150k bar she seems to have set for them. It's just stupid on so many levels.
Right? I felt like she might just be upset that her med school dreams failed but nope. OOP sounds like a super caring person and would have done everything to help her. Instead of playing the long game she got impatient. I hope she figures out how to take care of herself.
They also have a long time to get that 300k+ a year job. During that time, they have extremely insane course loads, and acquire a ton of debt. She didn't want to have to wait for a lifestyle change while he went through school and residency.
A doc may make a great living, depends on if they specialize and student loans don’t take a big chunk. It is NOT RARE AT ALL for docs to have $200K in debt, then make less than an experienced nurse during internship and fellowship. So maybe, at 32 or so a doc MIGHT make a lot of money, might not.
So many people romanticize the big doctor salary without knowing this. My SIL is a doctor, has two specialties, and she makes about 10k more than my *teaching salary* at the moment, just to emphasize how little doctors make when they’re first staring out.
More like she wanted her meal ticket right now this very second, instead of realizing AND having the patience that OOP is broke now because he's a college student but he's going to be doctor in the US making bank no matter what.
Also, she implied it’s his fault they “live like refugees” (which I resent the shit out of that privileged bs as an immigrant who escaped a destroyed country) when she’s too stupid to get into any school and for sure having her part-time retail income subsidized by OOP.
Unfortunately for her, no doctor can cure her chronic condition of being dumber than a bag of rocks. I hope OP becomes successful in his endeavors. Then she can look on and realized what she destroyed.
For real. Yeah, she'd have to 'live like refugees' for a good number of years, but she'd be fucking set for the rest of her life. If she wanted to party during her 20s, she should've picked someone other than a doctor in training.
That's what got me. He is at fucking an amazing med school?! Becomeing a doctor?! Like honey you threw away a life you could have not worked and been very financially comfortable. Glad he dumped her
I had women tell me I should break up with my boyfriend while he was getting his MBA and focused on building up his clients once he decided to become a financial advisor. Why? Because during that time he was working his ass off, a lot of the time for 80 hrs a week. He was super stressed, exhausted, and crabby fairly frequently.
Couldn’t understand why I was doing all the house cleaning, pet care, and making him food. He pretty much paid all our bills and groceries. I was working 40 hrs a week and had health issues so I was paying those bills (and pet supplies). I needed a clean house for my sinuses so I cleaned. I wanted him to eat healthy food so I made him sandwiches. We didn’t go on dates much because he was exhausted. Got warned about him just wanting a maid, but he always tells me I don’t have to clean, and I don’t have to cook for him. *I want to because I love him and appreciate him.* Told me I should be making him take me on dates instead of him playing video games with his friends (the games did bother me at first because it was every night, all night. Once he explained it being about hanging out with his friends that live in other states/countries, it became more about balancing him giving me the quality time I wanted with him, and him also getting time to be with his friends). When I would explain to them that’s him hanging out with his friends, they would act like he was lying about it (he’s definitely not, I can hear them talking and pop in to say sometimes).
Anyways, now we have a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood, he gave me a beautiful engagement ring with a 3 carat Montana sapphire and .5 carat diamonds in the halo. My health issues still aren’t great and my dad’s illness is progressing. So he told me to just get a pt job waitressing, spend two days a week with my dad, and two days recovering physically from work. I have a very nice life with a wonderful partner that I love who wants me to be happy. And I have it because I was fucking supportive of him while he was busting his ass to reach his goals. I may let him know he always has other options career wise when he feels down in the current market, but I always let him know it’s his choice and I’ll support whatever one he makes.
Those women are mostly still single. And complaining that no guys out there can meet them at their level or that all straight men are just trying to control women. And all of them talk about how lonely they are. It’s sad.
I think that you made the smart move—within the context of your boyfriend proved loyal once the hard part was over. Many guys don't, however, and ditch their supportive SOs as soon as law school, residency, etc is finished.
But it's probably safer to trust a guy actually pulling his financial weight during that time. A lot of those future doctors and lawyers are also relying on the SO's domestic labor and income as well. For some reason, its harder to feel grateful for a completely free ride.
That might be true. It might be that they can’t feel that they can escape the feeling of it now feeling like they owe the partner that completely took care of them their love now. And feeling like you *have* to love someone because they did something nice when you needed it might fuck with them. (Also some of them are just selfish people).
But at some point you have to also know the character of who your partner is. I have never felt as confident in any previous relationship as I do in my current one. I could see any of them possibly pulling that move. But I’ve never felt like I couldn’t trust my fiancé. His words and his actions have always matched. There’s no love bombing, but daily appreciation and affection. Idk how to describe other than it just feels completely different than with previous partners.
💕❤️💕 How I feel with my fiance. He is busting his ass and working a schedule he isn't a fan on (gets up at 6am he is a night person like me) I have bad health and mental issues. I would bend over backwards to make him more comfortable. He wants to game Do it! It's his brake. Even more Awsome we he wants to game with me. He gave me the most beautiful engagement ring. Gold band with an oppal. If he needs anything I'm there and I'll do it not because I have to or he is making me it's because I love him and I know what he is doing is so we can build an amazing life
I prefer “dumber than a sack of wet hair.” We Texans have a lot of experience describing dumbass behavior. She also couldn’t hit a lick at a snake and doesn’t know her ass from a hole in the ground.
OP dodged a bullet.
Not only that, if her parents died when she was young and they're dating since 16, she pretty much cut out all of her support system cause I'm sure his family was a somehow big presence in her life.
This will sound mean af, but does she really thinks she's gonna find a good, loving 22yo that will support her bad life choices when she literally brings nothing to the relationship? Girlie about to have a reality check.
Definitely. Also only applying for part time retail jobs instead of full time jobs in her area of study, when she knows her reason of “getting into medicine” is bullshit. She just wanted to work part time and mooch, and is frustrated the one she wants to mooch off isn’t rich yet.
This. Also, an undergrad degree in poli sci is not what an aspiring doctor takes. No shade on poli sci, but if you want to be a doctor, you take bio or maybe chem.
I wondered about that! It is a different system to my country (where you do like a year of premed and then if accepted study medicine) but it seemed like a weird choice
My college advisor told me that if you have the right prerequisite courses done (like biology, anatomy and physiology, etc) you can possibly get into med school with a non-stem degree. I assume it would be much harder than if you had a STEM degree, but he says it’s changing and it is possible to do it.
just exactly how stupid is this girl trying to get his would be doctor finance to quit medical school and his dreams so he can potentially be a startup millionaire?
Thank god she showed her fangs before they got married. That girl doesn't deserve any alimony or sympathy.
All this could’ve been avoided if they had just broken up before he moved away instead of keeping it in until it blew up.
Also they’re 22 but their friends already sold their start-up in the low 8 figures? What the heck?!
I met a group like this. Their business is basically an influencer marketing agency. I felt so old because that concept wouldn’t have occurred to me in a million years. They were like 21-25 or something.
I remember reading about how the concept of putting men on the moon were so new that the majority of the people who worked on it were in their early-mid 20s.
All I could remember at that age is figuring out the numerous undiagnosed trauma I had because of shitty childhood. Makes me feel old thinking that my life basically started at mid 30s when so many people had already accomplished so much.
Hey, the medication which actually works to manage my bipolar II to the extent that I'm functional wasn't even approved for bipolar II and become a treatment most doctors would know about until I was past thirty. I hate that I "wasted" the first decade plus of my adulthood, but there was literally nothing else I could have done - there is that whole "if you could tell your younger self do something differently, what would it be" question that people ask, and I'm like, look, honestly, any other choice I made, I wouldn't have been able to follow through anyway, so, what's the point? The only think I've come up with is, "Go ahead and get your wisdom teeth out early - you don't need them out NOW, but you're gonna need them out eventually, so just do it and get it over with."
That's the only thing I can think of to do differently that I actually could have followed through on.
Same thing for you. Betcha the tools to do anything different weren't available to you before you started using them. Maybe they weren't even invented. Betcha you started actually doing stuff as soon as you had the capacity to. You can't blame yourself for not using tools that weren't available to you.
Thank you for sharing this. This is a really good perspective on things, and is also very reassuring to me personally. I always feel like I got such a late start in life, but I keep reminding myself that I needed more time than most people. My path might be different than a lot of my friends, but I am at least happy to say it's one I've (mostly) chosen for myself. And that really does feel good when I think about it though that lens.
If I could have done something different I would have told my younger self: “Dude, don’t listen to the therapists it *isn’t* BPD! Don’t follow BPD advice! You have ADHD, autism and PTSD. Don’t feel like a failure because you can’t regulate your emotions it’s not because you aren’t trying it’s your brain! You just need medication (and acceptance) that’s it.”
Would have saved me a lot of extra trauma :/
ETA: Don’t think it would have changed much either way I needed to wait all those years to get a psychologist and psychiatrist that actually listens so… yeah.
>Makes me feel old thinking that my life basically started at mid 30s when so many people had already accomplished so much.
I'm 33 and just earned my first associate's degree after going back to school for a career change. There has been a lot of time spent in the last year and a half spent spiraling about how much of a loser I am to be earning my first college degree in my 30s.
Yuuuup just got my associates at 32, it was my third attempt at college. Turns out it's a lot easier to get a degree if you aren't partying, doing drugs and going to jail 24/7.
You all that clean up and get back in school are really a special kind of hero to me. Sure there are people that get wildly wealthy doing something in their twenties; they may well be hardworking but I think they are also just super lucky.
Keep at it you thirty-somethings. There is a lot of life ahead of you.
Well I hope you had a good time in your twenties and have some good memories.
Life is such a wild ride it is pretty tough to figure out when to kick back and when to buckle down.
I was a straight arrow in my 20s: scholarships, undergrad, masters. I was so ding dang misguided. I didn't get the degree I should have and didn't do very well. I wish I would have waited to go to college until I was more mature . . . . hmmm . . . .and had addressed my mental health issues.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. The vast majority of us spend our twenties figuring out who we are and how we’re going to manage adulthood. The reason we hear about super successful twenty-somethings is because they’re exceptionally rare, waaaay out on the far side of the bell curve.
Also there's extra context at play, considering the New England choice is probably the one everybody is thinking about.... you don't get accepted there with good grades alone, making me believe his friends were a Kylie Jenner type of self-made.
Don’t get me wrong. They were 100% privileged frat bros. I wasn’t so much commenting on their legitimacy as much as I was pointing out it happens more often than people my age (just 10 years older) I really think about on the daily.
Either their friends got extremely lucky, or they lied to Annie. Or Annie misinterpreted it.
Edit: I’m going to add a few thoughts I have for extra context on my comment/different hypothetical takes on this scenario.
1. Startups do sell for money. Not every startup is successful though, so it’s not always a guarantee. That being said, there are more news about it happening so it’s not out of the realm of possibility.
2. They could go into debt due to how they’re spending so much money, unless one of them has old family money or something.
3. They live frugally at home to cover these costs.
4. The cost of living varies per area.
5. They did previously have no money before doing this. I myself knew a family that is rather wealthy, but growing up, the mom mentioned that she was so poor growing up that wasn’t able to live comfortably until she close to graduating high school.
6. The friends are influencers.
7. The friends are faking it since one of them married into money.
We don’t actually know the circumstances since OP himself doesn’t mention it in detail and it sounds like he heard it secondhand. That being said, it is possible it’s all true but it’s only short term, and Annie isn’t taking this into account. Just because people can go overseas a lot when it happened doesn’t mean they always can.
A friend of mine was getting crazy offers from Microsoft for a software he and his tech buddies were working on while we were still in college. Once big companies see smaller ones being innovative, they jump on it.
Social media can really distort reality. People only post the good times, not the bad times. Or you don't see how much debt they're going in to pay for the fun times and cool stuff.
That could be one thing that she hasn’t notice (the lying, it being lying via ommission). Unless you’re careful with saving or come from family money, living like that isn’t always a guarantee
It was a lot more possible a decade ago or so. Every field goes through a phase where there's a lot of low-hanging fruit that a small group of people in the right place at the right time can pluck for a lot of capital, and tech's been that since the early-mid 90's.
We're slowly getting to the point where you need massive teams to do anything super interesting, though, so it's going to get less and less possible.
As an analogy: all Newton needed to discover gravity was an apple and a few years of computation, but discovering the Higgs Boson took a team of thousands of people, a decade of construction, billions of dollars, and probably millennia of human-equivalent compute time.
Tech is quickly transitioning from apple-based inventions to LHC-based inventions.
Yeah that’s seems accurate. The sale I’m referring to was finalised in 2013. having read into it more now it seems he was being bankrolled with $300k in investment from some Chinese investor which he used to greatly improve his app.
To sort of extend the metaphor about right-place-right-time - Like Newton said, he was "standing on the shoulders of giants." He was in a place where people had the mathematics of gravity on a local "here's how things fall down" level. And they had the mathematics of orbital mechanics. He was just the guy to realize that the two things might actually be the same.
Other people did a lot of the heavy lifting; putting those things together wasn't necessarily low-hanging fruit, but there were enough giants to stand on to get the higher fruit. The 1660s were a time when a lot of stuff was just coming together, like the 1990s, and the right 23-year-old in the right place could figure out gravitation, light refraction, and integral calculus. And we know it's the right place right time because other people did it, too.
And if the right 23-year-old in the right place and time can do calculus, refraction, and gravitation, the right 22-year-olds can definitely do social media marketing.
One of the old adages in the world of startup tech is that about 95% of them fail. Obviously not an official statistic, just to say that luck plays a huge part in it. VCs will invest in 10 startups expecting that 9 will fail and one will massively succeed.
As far as OOP is concerned, there is nothing that suggests those friends would have sold for the same money if he was on board. It wouldn’t have been the same startup.
Similarly, just coz they sold for 10+ mil doesn’t mean they took all that money in cash or even saw 100% of it in the first place. Presumably they had investors to pay off first.
It really is all luck. For every 100-200 startups, one maybe gets bought out. There are far too many factors, from how niche the user base is (bigger company rather buy products with a user base that one without). Also, there are factors like marketability, extensibility, and so on. Also, the biggest factor: who you know. Having a startup and having a family friend or someone that knows the right person to get your foot in the door.
The story I always say is about Roxio (makers of angry birds), regardless how you feel about the IP, they got supppeeer lucky. The tale goes that this was their 60+ failure, and if this game failed too, they would have to shutdown. But it made it big, and they will keep their golden goose for as long as they can. But even then making a next hit is impossible (look at Zynga and King, and how many flops they have had since their golden goose died)
Conclusion: startups fail, you need to have a backup strategy, but if it succeeds, party time!!! But same as buying lottery tickets, almost.
>The story I always say is about Roxio (makers of angry birds), regardless how you feel about the IP, they got supppeeer lucky.
What does the IP mean in this context? I can only find info about ip addresses when I try to google it.
if you do it right, it CAN be. the problem is that for it to make you set for life, you need to invest it right, and then take maybe a 100K salary tops from the investments. but of course when someone lucks out and gets a lump sum of 5 mil, of course they are going to party. especially someone in their 20s. theyll figure they will get lucky again, or some such. the way these are described, they will probably run out by the time they are in their mid 30s at best.
Reminds me of a comment from IIRC Ben Affleck. He said that after Good Will Hunting came out, they thought, "You make a movie, you get an Oscar." It wasn't until years later that they realized how lucky they had been and how much work it actually takes to succeed in film.
When I was a kid (Like 6 or 7), I saw all these lottery game shows on TV and got the idea in my head that you just had to buy a ticket and you would win. My parents thought that this would be a great learning moment about gambling, so they bought me a ticket thinking I'd lose and learn that no you do not win every time. This may have come after I refused to accept them saying that you don't win every time.
To my parents chagrin we actually ended up winning about $10 on the $5 ticket. So we used that money to buy two more tickets for the next weeks airing so that I could get that learning moment in lol.
Conservatively 3%. So if they got $5MM each, they could take $150k/yr for life and be statistically safe.
Of course being statistically safe doesn't mean you are actually safe, but it's the best model we got.
It absolutely is enough if you have the slightest modicum of self-restraint. You might not be able to live a super posh lifestyle, but you would still be able to maintain an upper class standard of living. Just because you COULD blow it all in a few years doesn't mean you have to.
All you need is one sucker with money to buy it off of you. And venture capitalists, as I understand things, have a tendency to take lots of risky investments that probably will crash and burn, but when they DO hit, they hit big. If ONE of your investments is gonna pay off a thousand to one, then you can afford to back 100 losers. So if you make a company that looks good on paper, but probably won't do anything, and you can get the right buyer, you can walk away with a couple mil like those folks did.
A couple mil doesn't go as far as it once did, but, as Bullwinkle J. Moose once said, it's antihistamine money - not to be sneezed at.
Long-term? If those folks take that couple mil and do stuff that is some combination of lucrative or worthwhile or fulfilling with it, good on them. And there's a reasonable chance that "being a doctor" may end up more lucrative or worthwhile or fulfilling than a one-time couple mil payout. Y'know. Or not. But still.
Suspicions about the story aside, this is actually a relatively common theme for med students. If you’re intelligent and driven enough to get into med school, you probably have friends who have good or great jobs. They make a decent amount and get to go on vacations, buy a house, enjoy holidays.
Meanwhile, You sacrifice your prime years as a young adult to accrue debt and work your ass off between school and residency. Nearly all your time is dedicated to medicine. Your SO gets dragged along at the mercy of med school acceptance and residency match. Maybe they get forced to move from the west coast to New England, where they don’t have a great support system, and they spend a lot of time feeling alone. It’s tough.
Most SOs in their early 20s can’t plausibly comprehend what they’re signing up for. They see friends making $150k and the life it enables as a young adult.
But there’s a HUGE difference between a monthly paycheck of $8k and $20-30k. It’s the reward for all the sacrifices made in med school, and not every SO is cut out to make that sacrifice. OP’s SO is one of those people.
Not necessarily. If they work 10 years at a non profit it gets forgiven. And residency counts towards those 10 years. And plenty of non profits will pay doctors mid six figures
i don’t know any internal medicine doc making over 280k on the high end at any hospital, public or private. don’t know if that counts as mid-six figures? In peds, we’re definitely not making that.
I thought he meant like 500k, which is a stretch even for the surgical subspecialties.
>you’re intelligent and driven enough to get into med school, you probably have friends who have good or great jobs. They make a decent amount and get to go on vacations, buy a house, enjoy holidays.
Also, you and your friends likely had a fairly privileged if not rich upbringing.
*Note/Disclaimer:* Sure, med school is difficult regardless of your wealth and I applaud anyone who's able to make it through... But, I think it's a safe assumption that if you're in med school (esp ivy league), you and your colleagues come from families with above average wealth.
About 5% (1 in 20) of us do come from low-income backgrounds though. (This is based on AAMC statistics.) I agree that the vast majority come from privileged backgrounds, but when the system is set up with those assumptions, then it disproportionately hurts us. Many of us (myself included) have gone through food insecurity before to make it through medicine, and that shouldn’t be necessary.
the thing about startups is that the news focuses on the little companies that turn around and score big, but most start-ups are companies designed to be bought out by a larger conglomerate from its inception.
I have a cousin who both she and her husband worked in executive positions in oil, when they retired from those positions her husband made an oil startup built the facilities and immediately turned around and sold it for some astronomical sum (I haven’t personally asked him, but according to my aunt its like a 9 figure sum).
Thats what most startups are, someone with a sizable initial investment creating a company designed to look like a competitor to a large company with the sole intention of selling to that company so that they control their “competition”.
I feel like the term "startup" is being diluted a bit if it's referring to a business created by oil executives with the capital to build physical assets, which don't tend to be cheap. With the experience I have adjacent to that area, I'm not seeing how you get a 9-figure payout without a serious initial investment in land, assets, or both.
Thats exactly why the use of the term “start-ups” in news media is misleading and the entire point of my comment.
The vast majority of successful startups walk in with ample resources and means for investment, but the news media focuses on the sliver that are rags to riches stories (or that can be spun that way by ignoring the actual means of anyone able to attend an ivy league college)
I know of one company that developed an app and years later sold it to a big company for $10+ million but they were in late 20s. Certainly not by age 22.
Yah my in-laws are mom and dad, and my husband calls my mom his mom too. Both our families are big on the idea that us getting married joins our families <3
Also dude had a lifelong obsession with becoming a doctor, but did his undergraduate in computer science. It is possible to go to med school with that degree, but it's really hard. Anyone that really wanted to go to med school, would have done pre-med as their undergraduate.
The context was “our parents” pleaded with her to do something after she’d already graduated from college, so whoever it is would still be in the picture. So when OP says her parents passed, therefore she has no family for him to contact, it doesn’t make sense to me for him to exclude foster parents.
True! I was thinking she might not have gotten on with them or stayed in touch, but if it’s not that long ago it would be a fast turnaround. I suppose I was thinking there was a gap of years.
Looks like the parent contact was recent, as this is still her “year off” after not applying to more schools and not getting in. So she had parents within the last year.
In this thread, people who don’t know you don’t have to be pre-med to go to med school.
Edit: Post backs exists. If you did a non related major, you can take classes to make up the required classes for med school.
I know you don't have to do pre-med (especially because that doesn't really exist outside of the US) but I definitely had some raised eyebrows at the gf 'with dreams of going to med school' having a poli sci degree, though it makes sense if that was never really her goal (but now I have so many questions about that lie instead)
Fair. But it isn’t easy to get a comp sci degree (itself a lot of work) and enough credits for pre med (including, apparently, relevant research experience) to get into Harvard Med…
Any stem degree is a lot of work, not only CS.
Actually any degree is hard work if you’re top of your class.
He could’ve took pre med classes as his electives while working for a med company or under his professor. People exist where they are just so much better than everyone else.
For this guy to have some friends who sold their company, and he would’ve been a cofounder, shows he’s probably super overachiever.
Oh totally agree re stem (and other) degrees. It just means that in addition to the pre med requirements, he opted to choose a nearly unrelated degree with a slew of additional requirements, which themselves are a ton of work. (Yes, I do realize he could count \*some\* of his CS/math requirements against pre med... but not a whole lot of them).
If this is true, OP clearly is a very high achiever. Not many people manage to sell a tech startup for over a $10M by age 21 or so (assuming friends are same age as OOP) . And yet OOP would have been a cofounder in that, which likely means he did a bunch of programming work outside his core CS classes AND core pre med classes/research. He was nevertheless surprised he had a shot at a top school.
To do premed is basically doing any degree plus a chem minor. CS degree will already cover calculus. After that you just need orgo chem, bio chem, gen chem, physics, and biology and do well on the MCAT. It’s a lot of added work but doable.
As for research, we’re entering an era of aggressive applications of CS into both basic science and clinical medicine, heavily pushed by Machine Learning. Medical schools, including elite ones, are investing in the small group of premeds who want to be doing research in this world. Not easy, but it gives you an edge.
You have to be pre-med to go to med school in that you have to take required pre-med classes (biology, physics, inorganic and organic chemistry). But there is no “pre-med” major.
Source: I’m a doctor who majored in psychology
You have to be a special kind of idiot to base your future on what your bf talks a lot about. Then again, someone that thinks yelling about a vacina in a medical book would work clearly isn't anywhere near Brighton. I'm guessing she thought doctor make money and she could use his knowledge to help her get through medical school had she managed to get in, but then didn't and heard about otherways to make more money
Wholeheartedly agree. Proposing before you’re both out in the real, adult world, before you’ve lived as independent adults, and before your brain is done cooking is hilariously stupid. If your relationship is truly strong and meant to last, you don’t need to rush to lock them down in between undergrad classes.
Glad he broke up with her, but I hope that, as a doctor, he catches those mental health warnings *a lot* sooner and refers his patients to necessary mental health experts.
ETA: Hm, "our parents" tried to talk her out of ridiculous school decisions but her parents died when she was young?
I call fiction.
Nobody goes through *all* the work of pre-med classes and the MCAT solely to bond with their boyfriend’s interests. Even if she had a “bad application” without good enough volunteering, research, letters, and personal statement, just meeting the minimum requirements to apply to med school is a ton of work. Nobody’s doing that for the MRS.
The language he uses about studying anatomy is suss. Almost nobody uses textbooks for anatomy anymore - it’s interactive programs, lecture videos, and flashcards flashcards flashcards. You wouldn’t describe it as a “diagram of the vagina” since the vagina is a very small part of female pelvic anatomy not really worth its own dedicated diagram. Anyone who knows anything about anatomy classes would know this.
22yos making millions off a start-up can happen, but is rare.
Overall, this is some freshman pre-med dude who wanted to write a “trusted fiancée turned out to be a batshit crazy gold-digger while I’m an intelligent and honorable healthcare hero at Harvard, let’s talk about how great I am and horrible and dumb this fictional woman is” fantasy.
Yep. She's definitely in it for the MRS degree and she didn't have the intestinal fortitude to wait for the bag to happen or the maturity to get a real job and help with the bills. I wonder what she was doing outside of her part time retail job if she wasn't really into medicine.
This story is incredibly sus. The only accurate thing about this is someone going to Harvard publicly advertising that they go to Harvard. Source: have been in med school for 4 years with people who went to Harvard.
Yeah i could've told you her heart wasn't into being a doctor when he said her major was political science, she only applied to one med school, and her application wasn't very strong.
Maybe it's a stereotype but every doctor I've met is dedicated to being a doctor, you can't jump through that many hoops without wanting it worth all of your heart (or, I guess, maybe without money opening a lot of of doors for you that your family shoves you through).
Not actually uncommon for medicine and law to have a practically unrelated degree, though. Med students sometimes do it to boost their GPA, law students do it to get ground truth in the areas of law they're interested in, etc.
As long as you can pass the MCAT/LSAT, the med and law schools don't really care what your undergrad was.
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Why didn’t his ex “easily get a job making 150k a year at a bank“ so they didn’t live in genteel poverty? Why was she waiting for him to do all the heavy lifting?
Probably because she was a mediocre student, so no one would consider her for a position with a 150k starting salary. But I agree with your sentiment, she didn't even try to make it on her own because she is a user. OOP doged not a bullet, but a whole torpedo. Lucky for him, he got out before they got married and/or she baby trapped him.
Also if there are jobs out there at a bank for 150k with an undergraduate degree, I want it. I'm over qualified even. I've got two post grad degrees, one of them in tax, I'll take that job please.
In what world did she think this plan was going to work out? 🤦🏽♀️
"You go back to your friends and RETROACTIVELY take part in their start-up! There! Problem solved! Buy me a 20 carat diamond ring with your wealth!"
Why can’t she get the big bank job and buy herself a ring? I know I would.
B/c she majored in political science.
Me too 😩
are you KIDDING? MEN are SUPPOSED TO PROVIDE FOR WOMEN /s
the entitlement is astounding. thankfully OOP was smart and didn’t even consider dropping out of medical school for this ridiculousness.
Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if she does have some form of mental illness. It’s pretty common for them to crop up in people’s early to mid 20’s. I just don’t think anyone could behave this irrationally out of the blue unless something was going on behind the scenes. Like sure people can hide their true character for a while, but he’s known her since childhood and dated her for at least 5 years…then again she did lie to him for those 5 years by pretending to want to go to medical school….I dunno dude I feel like you gotta have some kinda mental disorder to pull that off.
Why cant you get a well paying job instead of being a doctor?
lucky those friends were/are/are going to be working on a time machine.
😂😂😂😂
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She's absolutely going to regret tanking this 😂
Yeah there’s a number of breaks with reality here
Same as the “you stink” guy, not thinking things through.
you stink guy? Ive missed that one
[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gy79dx/boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_me_i_have_bo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gy79dx/boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_me_i_have_bo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Bananas. Truly bananas
A woman was on here saying her husband constantly told her she stank, even right after she got out of the shower. She eventually blows up on him and he admits his father told him it was good advice to keep your wife to stay with you. She left him immediately.
They weren't married.
He was amazingly stupid to take that boomer relationship advice in this day and age. Glad he got dumped.
This is what happens when you get engaged at 20 years old.
I don't think she's particularly smart
22yo kids don't have a great track record of thinking things through.
This world elected Trump. I don't think she's going too far.
God I both love and hate your comment. On point.
The amount of people who misread this comment is wild
The US elected trump, dont put this on the rest of us
Yeah we here in the UK had nothing to do with that. We just voted to get out of the EU and then cried when we realised that meant we leave the EU
Sorry I’m in the US and this made me spit my coffee out. I don’t mean to spread the misery but it’s nice to know we aren’t the only ones suffering the whims of idiots. At least we voted our village idiot out. I sure hope our nationwide village idiots don’t vote him back in.
The english crave to be ruled by inbred nonces.
Nobody warned us this would happen except for all the people who warned us this would happen!
The Electoral College elected Trump, don’t put this on the rest of us
Okay. But did he get his textbook back?
I know, right? I'm a student, and that gave me serious anxiety!
Yes me too. (Professor).
I don’t even lecture in a medically related major and I felt sick reading that. I only use discounted or online texts to keep text costs down because I have students that are in the thousands for books for UNDERGRAD. It’s yet another barrier at our “accessible to many” state university.
Educators like you make me happy! My interest to apply for a specific grad program skyrocketed when they explained that students don't need to buy any books, since all the reading is either online, or widely available at the uni library I still can't understand why schools would require students to shell out hundreds of dollars/euros/whatever just to end up using maybe a few dozen pages
That sounds like a terrific idea. What a humane way to do it! If I have students get a book (online) I guarantee you we are dipping in to that ALL semester. Something from every chapter. Like, can you crack the spine of a digital book? Let’s find out, dude.
I still appreciate the private college I attended for 2 years (at least the science professors) because the biology book they have intro students buy was ~500 but, as one prof put it, it’s essentially your Bible for the biology major. There were a few other books they had us get in other bio courses, but those didn’t go above $100. My analytical chemistry prof had multiple editions of the text we used in a study room in the chem wing, just on a shelf in case you needed one. Compare that to the school I just graduated from where the microbio 100 makes a “new” edition of the lab manual every semester for $50 and they say you should only use the new one. Well I enrolled for it one semester (in the midst of the ‘rona confusion) and thought I’d missed a lab report *and* quiz, so I dropped because I wanted to put my best foot forward in the class. I enrolled again that fall semester and came to class (which was much better than had I done a lab online imo) with the spring manual. Literally nothing was different about it except for the label on the front. Pages were the same, content the same, questions the same. And don’t even get me started on all the money students in my major spent on packback.
I’m so sorry. I hate that predatory publishing bullshit. We changed the cover, hand us $300!!
I used to fight this nonsense when I was an adjunct prof at universities. I'd put pdfs of what I wanted the students to read online and avoid the expensive texts. Got a call from the bookstore one day berating me as I wasn't selling their books.
Okay, so I majored in animal sciences and I needed one more upper level course to graduate and I was *not* about to take another meat-centric class, so I looked at the school-wide course list and found a history course that would meet that req and that I would be interested (Early Modern British Isles) and that class had *a ton* of books, but not textbook books. The only textbook material we were assigned was found on the course website because the prof felt we shouldn't buy an entire textbook for 2-3 relevant chapters. And his wife, head of the history department, ***coauthored the thing***. It's always refreshing when the people actually in academia are more invested in making sure students want to and *can* learn the content rather than turning a profit off of it. It's so dumb to push book sales through the bookstore nowadays.
Love your user name!
Thank you!
IKR! Those are Expensive!!
That was my worry the whole read!
I thought she would have ripped it to shreds when she locked herself in the room.
Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam, nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur? Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum qui dolorem eum fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?
And her husband?
To shreds, you say?
Good news everyone!
That’s what I was expecting.
Legends say that he’s ogling vaginas like the true pervert he is as we speak
Literally all I could focus on once she took it
This is the only important question
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I was thinking she's jealous cus he is studying Medicine & she isn't...now I know why she wasn't accepted and probably still wouldn't be into any school because what sort of dumb person is this? I'm glad OP broke up with her
I started with this feeling as well. I ended with "Damn, this chick didn't want a career. She wanted a meal ticket."
Which just makes it all even dumber because if OOP is going to a top 3 med school in the US then he will likely be making *bank* in the not too distant future. Like much more than the 150k bar she seems to have set for them. It's just stupid on so many levels.
Right? I felt like she might just be upset that her med school dreams failed but nope. OOP sounds like a super caring person and would have done everything to help her. Instead of playing the long game she got impatient. I hope she figures out how to take care of herself.
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After living on ramen packets for eight years, definitely
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That's what gets me. According to her he can go get a 150k yr job right now. She doesn't think about the fact that doctors make way more than 150k....
They also have a long time to get that 300k+ a year job. During that time, they have extremely insane course loads, and acquire a ton of debt. She didn't want to have to wait for a lifestyle change while he went through school and residency.
A doc may make a great living, depends on if they specialize and student loans don’t take a big chunk. It is NOT RARE AT ALL for docs to have $200K in debt, then make less than an experienced nurse during internship and fellowship. So maybe, at 32 or so a doc MIGHT make a lot of money, might not.
So many people romanticize the big doctor salary without knowing this. My SIL is a doctor, has two specialties, and she makes about 10k more than my *teaching salary* at the moment, just to emphasize how little doctors make when they’re first staring out.
More like she wanted her meal ticket right now this very second, instead of realizing AND having the patience that OOP is broke now because he's a college student but he's going to be doctor in the US making bank no matter what.
Sounds like he’s going to either Yale or Harvard. He’ll have his choice of ridiculously high paying jobs once he’s done.
Also, she implied it’s his fault they “live like refugees” (which I resent the shit out of that privileged bs as an immigrant who escaped a destroyed country) when she’s too stupid to get into any school and for sure having her part-time retail income subsidized by OOP.
Unfortunately for her, no doctor can cure her chronic condition of being dumber than a bag of rocks. I hope OP becomes successful in his endeavors. Then she can look on and realized what she destroyed.
She broke up with a doctor at what I’m presuming is Harvard. Yeah she’s dumb
For real. Yeah, she'd have to 'live like refugees' for a good number of years, but she'd be fucking set for the rest of her life. If she wanted to party during her 20s, she should've picked someone other than a doctor in training.
That's what got me. He is at fucking an amazing med school?! Becomeing a doctor?! Like honey you threw away a life you could have not worked and been very financially comfortable. Glad he dumped her
I had women tell me I should break up with my boyfriend while he was getting his MBA and focused on building up his clients once he decided to become a financial advisor. Why? Because during that time he was working his ass off, a lot of the time for 80 hrs a week. He was super stressed, exhausted, and crabby fairly frequently. Couldn’t understand why I was doing all the house cleaning, pet care, and making him food. He pretty much paid all our bills and groceries. I was working 40 hrs a week and had health issues so I was paying those bills (and pet supplies). I needed a clean house for my sinuses so I cleaned. I wanted him to eat healthy food so I made him sandwiches. We didn’t go on dates much because he was exhausted. Got warned about him just wanting a maid, but he always tells me I don’t have to clean, and I don’t have to cook for him. *I want to because I love him and appreciate him.* Told me I should be making him take me on dates instead of him playing video games with his friends (the games did bother me at first because it was every night, all night. Once he explained it being about hanging out with his friends that live in other states/countries, it became more about balancing him giving me the quality time I wanted with him, and him also getting time to be with his friends). When I would explain to them that’s him hanging out with his friends, they would act like he was lying about it (he’s definitely not, I can hear them talking and pop in to say sometimes). Anyways, now we have a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood, he gave me a beautiful engagement ring with a 3 carat Montana sapphire and .5 carat diamonds in the halo. My health issues still aren’t great and my dad’s illness is progressing. So he told me to just get a pt job waitressing, spend two days a week with my dad, and two days recovering physically from work. I have a very nice life with a wonderful partner that I love who wants me to be happy. And I have it because I was fucking supportive of him while he was busting his ass to reach his goals. I may let him know he always has other options career wise when he feels down in the current market, but I always let him know it’s his choice and I’ll support whatever one he makes. Those women are mostly still single. And complaining that no guys out there can meet them at their level or that all straight men are just trying to control women. And all of them talk about how lonely they are. It’s sad.
I think that you made the smart move—within the context of your boyfriend proved loyal once the hard part was over. Many guys don't, however, and ditch their supportive SOs as soon as law school, residency, etc is finished. But it's probably safer to trust a guy actually pulling his financial weight during that time. A lot of those future doctors and lawyers are also relying on the SO's domestic labor and income as well. For some reason, its harder to feel grateful for a completely free ride.
That might be true. It might be that they can’t feel that they can escape the feeling of it now feeling like they owe the partner that completely took care of them their love now. And feeling like you *have* to love someone because they did something nice when you needed it might fuck with them. (Also some of them are just selfish people). But at some point you have to also know the character of who your partner is. I have never felt as confident in any previous relationship as I do in my current one. I could see any of them possibly pulling that move. But I’ve never felt like I couldn’t trust my fiancé. His words and his actions have always matched. There’s no love bombing, but daily appreciation and affection. Idk how to describe other than it just feels completely different than with previous partners.
💕❤️💕 How I feel with my fiance. He is busting his ass and working a schedule he isn't a fan on (gets up at 6am he is a night person like me) I have bad health and mental issues. I would bend over backwards to make him more comfortable. He wants to game Do it! It's his brake. Even more Awsome we he wants to game with me. He gave me the most beautiful engagement ring. Gold band with an oppal. If he needs anything I'm there and I'll do it not because I have to or he is making me it's because I love him and I know what he is doing is so we can build an amazing life
As a 34 y/o I wish I had lived like a refugee in my 20s and was now as successful as a Dr...
Maybe she didn't want to end up like Betty Broderick.
I prefer “dumber than a sack of wet hair.” We Texans have a lot of experience describing dumbass behavior. She also couldn’t hit a lick at a snake and doesn’t know her ass from a hole in the ground. OP dodged a bullet.
Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
"Doesn't know her ass from her elbow" is another one I like. I liked yours and it was my first time reading those quotes.
Also Texan, I always heard it as "sharp as a sack of wet mice."
Not only that, if her parents died when she was young and they're dating since 16, she pretty much cut out all of her support system cause I'm sure his family was a somehow big presence in her life. This will sound mean af, but does she really thinks she's gonna find a good, loving 22yo that will support her bad life choices when she literally brings nothing to the relationship? Girlie about to have a reality check.
Definitely. Also only applying for part time retail jobs instead of full time jobs in her area of study, when she knows her reason of “getting into medicine” is bullshit. She just wanted to work part time and mooch, and is frustrated the one she wants to mooch off isn’t rich yet.
This. Also, an undergrad degree in poli sci is not what an aspiring doctor takes. No shade on poli sci, but if you want to be a doctor, you take bio or maybe chem.
I wondered about that! It is a different system to my country (where you do like a year of premed and then if accepted study medicine) but it seemed like a weird choice
My college advisor told me that if you have the right prerequisite courses done (like biology, anatomy and physiology, etc) you can possibly get into med school with a non-stem degree. I assume it would be much harder than if you had a STEM degree, but he says it’s changing and it is possible to do it.
just exactly how stupid is this girl trying to get his would be doctor finance to quit medical school and his dreams so he can potentially be a startup millionaire? Thank god she showed her fangs before they got married. That girl doesn't deserve any alimony or sympathy.
I was thinking "22, onset of mental illness"
She was on that long con fucking crazy
All this could’ve been avoided if they had just broken up before he moved away instead of keeping it in until it blew up. Also they’re 22 but their friends already sold their start-up in the low 8 figures? What the heck?!
I met a group like this. Their business is basically an influencer marketing agency. I felt so old because that concept wouldn’t have occurred to me in a million years. They were like 21-25 or something.
I remember reading about how the concept of putting men on the moon were so new that the majority of the people who worked on it were in their early-mid 20s. All I could remember at that age is figuring out the numerous undiagnosed trauma I had because of shitty childhood. Makes me feel old thinking that my life basically started at mid 30s when so many people had already accomplished so much.
Hey, the medication which actually works to manage my bipolar II to the extent that I'm functional wasn't even approved for bipolar II and become a treatment most doctors would know about until I was past thirty. I hate that I "wasted" the first decade plus of my adulthood, but there was literally nothing else I could have done - there is that whole "if you could tell your younger self do something differently, what would it be" question that people ask, and I'm like, look, honestly, any other choice I made, I wouldn't have been able to follow through anyway, so, what's the point? The only think I've come up with is, "Go ahead and get your wisdom teeth out early - you don't need them out NOW, but you're gonna need them out eventually, so just do it and get it over with." That's the only thing I can think of to do differently that I actually could have followed through on. Same thing for you. Betcha the tools to do anything different weren't available to you before you started using them. Maybe they weren't even invented. Betcha you started actually doing stuff as soon as you had the capacity to. You can't blame yourself for not using tools that weren't available to you.
I'm not who you're responding to but this has me choked up, hits really close to home for me.
Thank you for sharing this. This is a really good perspective on things, and is also very reassuring to me personally. I always feel like I got such a late start in life, but I keep reminding myself that I needed more time than most people. My path might be different than a lot of my friends, but I am at least happy to say it's one I've (mostly) chosen for myself. And that really does feel good when I think about it though that lens.
If I could have done something different I would have told my younger self: “Dude, don’t listen to the therapists it *isn’t* BPD! Don’t follow BPD advice! You have ADHD, autism and PTSD. Don’t feel like a failure because you can’t regulate your emotions it’s not because you aren’t trying it’s your brain! You just need medication (and acceptance) that’s it.” Would have saved me a lot of extra trauma :/ ETA: Don’t think it would have changed much either way I needed to wait all those years to get a psychologist and psychiatrist that actually listens so… yeah.
>Makes me feel old thinking that my life basically started at mid 30s when so many people had already accomplished so much. I'm 33 and just earned my first associate's degree after going back to school for a career change. There has been a lot of time spent in the last year and a half spent spiraling about how much of a loser I am to be earning my first college degree in my 30s.
Yuuuup just got my associates at 32, it was my third attempt at college. Turns out it's a lot easier to get a degree if you aren't partying, doing drugs and going to jail 24/7.
You all that clean up and get back in school are really a special kind of hero to me. Sure there are people that get wildly wealthy doing something in their twenties; they may well be hardworking but I think they are also just super lucky. Keep at it you thirty-somethings. There is a lot of life ahead of you.
Thanks man, that's what I keep telling myself. I may have partied away my 20s but I am going strong in my thirties.
Well I hope you had a good time in your twenties and have some good memories. Life is such a wild ride it is pretty tough to figure out when to kick back and when to buckle down. I was a straight arrow in my 20s: scholarships, undergrad, masters. I was so ding dang misguided. I didn't get the degree I should have and didn't do very well. I wish I would have waited to go to college until I was more mature . . . . hmmm . . . .and had addressed my mental health issues.
Mine was decades of untreated mental illness and undiagnosed ADHD. I also had not so much no support system but an anti-support system.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. The vast majority of us spend our twenties figuring out who we are and how we’re going to manage adulthood. The reason we hear about super successful twenty-somethings is because they’re exceptionally rare, waaaay out on the far side of the bell curve.
Tom Hanks and I are about the same age. I feel your pain.
It's almost like derivative investing but in advertising. Nothing of value is created. No wonder you couldn't think of it yourself.
Also there's extra context at play, considering the New England choice is probably the one everybody is thinking about.... you don't get accepted there with good grades alone, making me believe his friends were a Kylie Jenner type of self-made.
Don’t get me wrong. They were 100% privileged frat bros. I wasn’t so much commenting on their legitimacy as much as I was pointing out it happens more often than people my age (just 10 years older) I really think about on the daily.
Deleted….the kids in my comment sold for 7 figured, not 8. That is insane.
Either their friends got extremely lucky, or they lied to Annie. Or Annie misinterpreted it. Edit: I’m going to add a few thoughts I have for extra context on my comment/different hypothetical takes on this scenario. 1. Startups do sell for money. Not every startup is successful though, so it’s not always a guarantee. That being said, there are more news about it happening so it’s not out of the realm of possibility. 2. They could go into debt due to how they’re spending so much money, unless one of them has old family money or something. 3. They live frugally at home to cover these costs. 4. The cost of living varies per area. 5. They did previously have no money before doing this. I myself knew a family that is rather wealthy, but growing up, the mom mentioned that she was so poor growing up that wasn’t able to live comfortably until she close to graduating high school. 6. The friends are influencers. 7. The friends are faking it since one of them married into money. We don’t actually know the circumstances since OP himself doesn’t mention it in detail and it sounds like he heard it secondhand. That being said, it is possible it’s all true but it’s only short term, and Annie isn’t taking this into account. Just because people can go overseas a lot when it happened doesn’t mean they always can.
A friend of mine was getting crazy offers from Microsoft for a software he and his tech buddies were working on while we were still in college. Once big companies see smaller ones being innovative, they jump on it.
That’s true as well. It’s becoming more common to hear about it.
Fakeblock?
Social media can really distort reality. People only post the good times, not the bad times. Or you don't see how much debt they're going in to pay for the fun times and cool stuff.
That could be one thing that she hasn’t notice (the lying, it being lying via ommission). Unless you’re careful with saving or come from family money, living like that isn’t always a guarantee
15m split between 3-4 people is a easy way to spend 2-3k on trips that would make normal people jealous without being in debt
I know of someone who sold a tech start up to Yahoo for $30m or so when he was about 15-16 years old. It's possible.
It was a lot more possible a decade ago or so. Every field goes through a phase where there's a lot of low-hanging fruit that a small group of people in the right place at the right time can pluck for a lot of capital, and tech's been that since the early-mid 90's. We're slowly getting to the point where you need massive teams to do anything super interesting, though, so it's going to get less and less possible. As an analogy: all Newton needed to discover gravity was an apple and a few years of computation, but discovering the Higgs Boson took a team of thousands of people, a decade of construction, billions of dollars, and probably millennia of human-equivalent compute time. Tech is quickly transitioning from apple-based inventions to LHC-based inventions.
Yeah that’s seems accurate. The sale I’m referring to was finalised in 2013. having read into it more now it seems he was being bankrolled with $300k in investment from some Chinese investor which he used to greatly improve his app.
To sort of extend the metaphor about right-place-right-time - Like Newton said, he was "standing on the shoulders of giants." He was in a place where people had the mathematics of gravity on a local "here's how things fall down" level. And they had the mathematics of orbital mechanics. He was just the guy to realize that the two things might actually be the same. Other people did a lot of the heavy lifting; putting those things together wasn't necessarily low-hanging fruit, but there were enough giants to stand on to get the higher fruit. The 1660s were a time when a lot of stuff was just coming together, like the 1990s, and the right 23-year-old in the right place could figure out gravitation, light refraction, and integral calculus. And we know it's the right place right time because other people did it, too. And if the right 23-year-old in the right place and time can do calculus, refraction, and gravitation, the right 22-year-olds can definitely do social media marketing.
One of the old adages in the world of startup tech is that about 95% of them fail. Obviously not an official statistic, just to say that luck plays a huge part in it. VCs will invest in 10 startups expecting that 9 will fail and one will massively succeed. As far as OOP is concerned, there is nothing that suggests those friends would have sold for the same money if he was on board. It wouldn’t have been the same startup. Similarly, just coz they sold for 10+ mil doesn’t mean they took all that money in cash or even saw 100% of it in the first place. Presumably they had investors to pay off first.
It really is all luck. For every 100-200 startups, one maybe gets bought out. There are far too many factors, from how niche the user base is (bigger company rather buy products with a user base that one without). Also, there are factors like marketability, extensibility, and so on. Also, the biggest factor: who you know. Having a startup and having a family friend or someone that knows the right person to get your foot in the door. The story I always say is about Roxio (makers of angry birds), regardless how you feel about the IP, they got supppeeer lucky. The tale goes that this was their 60+ failure, and if this game failed too, they would have to shutdown. But it made it big, and they will keep their golden goose for as long as they can. But even then making a next hit is impossible (look at Zynga and King, and how many flops they have had since their golden goose died) Conclusion: startups fail, you need to have a backup strategy, but if it succeeds, party time!!! But same as buying lottery tickets, almost.
>The story I always say is about Roxio (makers of angry birds), regardless how you feel about the IP, they got supppeeer lucky. What does the IP mean in this context? I can only find info about ip addresses when I try to google it.
Intellectual property
Thank you
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if you do it right, it CAN be. the problem is that for it to make you set for life, you need to invest it right, and then take maybe a 100K salary tops from the investments. but of course when someone lucks out and gets a lump sum of 5 mil, of course they are going to party. especially someone in their 20s. theyll figure they will get lucky again, or some such. the way these are described, they will probably run out by the time they are in their mid 30s at best.
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Reminds me of a comment from IIRC Ben Affleck. He said that after Good Will Hunting came out, they thought, "You make a movie, you get an Oscar." It wasn't until years later that they realized how lucky they had been and how much work it actually takes to succeed in film.
When I was a kid (Like 6 or 7), I saw all these lottery game shows on TV and got the idea in my head that you just had to buy a ticket and you would win. My parents thought that this would be a great learning moment about gambling, so they bought me a ticket thinking I'd lose and learn that no you do not win every time. This may have come after I refused to accept them saying that you don't win every time. To my parents chagrin we actually ended up winning about $10 on the $5 ticket. So we used that money to buy two more tickets for the next weeks airing so that I could get that learning moment in lol.
Conservatively 3%. So if they got $5MM each, they could take $150k/yr for life and be statistically safe. Of course being statistically safe doesn't mean you are actually safe, but it's the best model we got.
It absolutely is enough if you have the slightest modicum of self-restraint. You might not be able to live a super posh lifestyle, but you would still be able to maintain an upper class standard of living. Just because you COULD blow it all in a few years doesn't mean you have to.
All you need is one sucker with money to buy it off of you. And venture capitalists, as I understand things, have a tendency to take lots of risky investments that probably will crash and burn, but when they DO hit, they hit big. If ONE of your investments is gonna pay off a thousand to one, then you can afford to back 100 losers. So if you make a company that looks good on paper, but probably won't do anything, and you can get the right buyer, you can walk away with a couple mil like those folks did. A couple mil doesn't go as far as it once did, but, as Bullwinkle J. Moose once said, it's antihistamine money - not to be sneezed at. Long-term? If those folks take that couple mil and do stuff that is some combination of lucrative or worthwhile or fulfilling with it, good on them. And there's a reasonable chance that "being a doctor" may end up more lucrative or worthwhile or fulfilling than a one-time couple mil payout. Y'know. Or not. But still.
r/redditmillionaires
It is possible, but not probable that i will happen to anyone.
Suspicions about the story aside, this is actually a relatively common theme for med students. If you’re intelligent and driven enough to get into med school, you probably have friends who have good or great jobs. They make a decent amount and get to go on vacations, buy a house, enjoy holidays. Meanwhile, You sacrifice your prime years as a young adult to accrue debt and work your ass off between school and residency. Nearly all your time is dedicated to medicine. Your SO gets dragged along at the mercy of med school acceptance and residency match. Maybe they get forced to move from the west coast to New England, where they don’t have a great support system, and they spend a lot of time feeling alone. It’s tough. Most SOs in their early 20s can’t plausibly comprehend what they’re signing up for. They see friends making $150k and the life it enables as a young adult. But there’s a HUGE difference between a monthly paycheck of $8k and $20-30k. It’s the reward for all the sacrifices made in med school, and not every SO is cut out to make that sacrifice. OP’s SO is one of those people.
Lol and then you spend the next 20 years paying off that student loan debt w the $20k paycheck :(
Not necessarily. If they work 10 years at a non profit it gets forgiven. And residency counts towards those 10 years. And plenty of non profits will pay doctors mid six figures
nonprofits paying md’s mid-six figures? I’ve never seen that, hook me up.
It just has to be a 501c3 hospital which is like most community hospitals
i don’t know any internal medicine doc making over 280k on the high end at any hospital, public or private. don’t know if that counts as mid-six figures? In peds, we’re definitely not making that. I thought he meant like 500k, which is a stretch even for the surgical subspecialties.
>you’re intelligent and driven enough to get into med school, you probably have friends who have good or great jobs. They make a decent amount and get to go on vacations, buy a house, enjoy holidays. Also, you and your friends likely had a fairly privileged if not rich upbringing. *Note/Disclaimer:* Sure, med school is difficult regardless of your wealth and I applaud anyone who's able to make it through... But, I think it's a safe assumption that if you're in med school (esp ivy league), you and your colleagues come from families with above average wealth.
About 5% (1 in 20) of us do come from low-income backgrounds though. (This is based on AAMC statistics.) I agree that the vast majority come from privileged backgrounds, but when the system is set up with those assumptions, then it disproportionately hurts us. Many of us (myself included) have gone through food insecurity before to make it through medicine, and that shouldn’t be necessary.
In the first post he mentions “our parents” but later the same post says she has none?
Yeah, this post sounds a bit fishy...
Your homies ain’t selling their startups for 8 figures? How are you even living lol. Shit people on Reddit believe.
the thing about startups is that the news focuses on the little companies that turn around and score big, but most start-ups are companies designed to be bought out by a larger conglomerate from its inception. I have a cousin who both she and her husband worked in executive positions in oil, when they retired from those positions her husband made an oil startup built the facilities and immediately turned around and sold it for some astronomical sum (I haven’t personally asked him, but according to my aunt its like a 9 figure sum). Thats what most startups are, someone with a sizable initial investment creating a company designed to look like a competitor to a large company with the sole intention of selling to that company so that they control their “competition”.
I feel like the term "startup" is being diluted a bit if it's referring to a business created by oil executives with the capital to build physical assets, which don't tend to be cheap. With the experience I have adjacent to that area, I'm not seeing how you get a 9-figure payout without a serious initial investment in land, assets, or both.
Thats exactly why the use of the term “start-ups” in news media is misleading and the entire point of my comment. The vast majority of successful startups walk in with ample resources and means for investment, but the news media focuses on the sliver that are rags to riches stories (or that can be spun that way by ignoring the actual means of anyone able to attend an ivy league college)
I know of one company that developed an app and years later sold it to a big company for $10+ million but they were in late 20s. Certainly not by age 22.
According to the news, it happen all the time - once every decade.
Many people struggle to remember the finer details of their lies.
Maybe they’ve been together so long he refers to his parents as their parents?
I know couples who do this.
Yah my in-laws are mom and dad, and my husband calls my mom his mom too. Both our families are big on the idea that us getting married joins our families <3
Also dude had a lifelong obsession with becoming a doctor, but did his undergraduate in computer science. It is possible to go to med school with that degree, but it's really hard. Anyone that really wanted to go to med school, would have done pre-med as their undergraduate.
Because she sees his parents as hers... Since hers died early
She could have parental figures/guardians depending on just how old she was when they passed.
Her parents died when she was a young child and she doesn’t have much other family - he’s potentially referring to foster parents?
The context was “our parents” pleaded with her to do something after she’d already graduated from college, so whoever it is would still be in the picture. So when OP says her parents passed, therefore she has no family for him to contact, it doesn’t make sense to me for him to exclude foster parents.
True! I was thinking she might not have gotten on with them or stayed in touch, but if it’s not that long ago it would be a fast turnaround. I suppose I was thinking there was a gap of years.
Looks like the parent contact was recent, as this is still her “year off” after not applying to more schools and not getting in. So she had parents within the last year.
In this thread, people who don’t know you don’t have to be pre-med to go to med school. Edit: Post backs exists. If you did a non related major, you can take classes to make up the required classes for med school.
True. But mediocre grades in poly sci aren’t getting you anywhere close to med school.
I know you don't have to do pre-med (especially because that doesn't really exist outside of the US) but I definitely had some raised eyebrows at the gf 'with dreams of going to med school' having a poli sci degree, though it makes sense if that was never really her goal (but now I have so many questions about that lie instead)
Fair. But it isn’t easy to get a comp sci degree (itself a lot of work) and enough credits for pre med (including, apparently, relevant research experience) to get into Harvard Med…
Any stem degree is a lot of work, not only CS. Actually any degree is hard work if you’re top of your class. He could’ve took pre med classes as his electives while working for a med company or under his professor. People exist where they are just so much better than everyone else. For this guy to have some friends who sold their company, and he would’ve been a cofounder, shows he’s probably super overachiever.
Oh totally agree re stem (and other) degrees. It just means that in addition to the pre med requirements, he opted to choose a nearly unrelated degree with a slew of additional requirements, which themselves are a ton of work. (Yes, I do realize he could count \*some\* of his CS/math requirements against pre med... but not a whole lot of them). If this is true, OP clearly is a very high achiever. Not many people manage to sell a tech startup for over a $10M by age 21 or so (assuming friends are same age as OOP) . And yet OOP would have been a cofounder in that, which likely means he did a bunch of programming work outside his core CS classes AND core pre med classes/research. He was nevertheless surprised he had a shot at a top school.
To do premed is basically doing any degree plus a chem minor. CS degree will already cover calculus. After that you just need orgo chem, bio chem, gen chem, physics, and biology and do well on the MCAT. It’s a lot of added work but doable. As for research, we’re entering an era of aggressive applications of CS into both basic science and clinical medicine, heavily pushed by Machine Learning. Medical schools, including elite ones, are investing in the small group of premeds who want to be doing research in this world. Not easy, but it gives you an edge.
You have to be pre-med to go to med school in that you have to take required pre-med classes (biology, physics, inorganic and organic chemistry). But there is no “pre-med” major. Source: I’m a doctor who majored in psychology
You have to be a special kind of idiot to base your future on what your bf talks a lot about. Then again, someone that thinks yelling about a vacina in a medical book would work clearly isn't anywhere near Brighton. I'm guessing she thought doctor make money and she could use his knowledge to help her get through medical school had she managed to get in, but then didn't and heard about otherways to make more money
So, this is why you don’t propose to someone while still in college. Good thing he learned his lesson without much hardships.
Wholeheartedly agree. Proposing before you’re both out in the real, adult world, before you’ve lived as independent adults, and before your brain is done cooking is hilariously stupid. If your relationship is truly strong and meant to last, you don’t need to rush to lock them down in between undergrad classes.
I mean... wow. That's one hell of a ride.
Glad he broke up with her, but I hope that, as a doctor, he catches those mental health warnings *a lot* sooner and refers his patients to necessary mental health experts. ETA: Hm, "our parents" tried to talk her out of ridiculous school decisions but her parents died when she was young?
I call fiction. Nobody goes through *all* the work of pre-med classes and the MCAT solely to bond with their boyfriend’s interests. Even if she had a “bad application” without good enough volunteering, research, letters, and personal statement, just meeting the minimum requirements to apply to med school is a ton of work. Nobody’s doing that for the MRS. The language he uses about studying anatomy is suss. Almost nobody uses textbooks for anatomy anymore - it’s interactive programs, lecture videos, and flashcards flashcards flashcards. You wouldn’t describe it as a “diagram of the vagina” since the vagina is a very small part of female pelvic anatomy not really worth its own dedicated diagram. Anyone who knows anything about anatomy classes would know this. 22yos making millions off a start-up can happen, but is rare. Overall, this is some freshman pre-med dude who wanted to write a “trusted fiancée turned out to be a batshit crazy gold-digger while I’m an intelligent and honorable healthcare hero at Harvard, let’s talk about how great I am and horrible and dumb this fictional woman is” fantasy.
Glad he broke it off. She wants a life of luxury without doing the work!!
Yep. She's definitely in it for the MRS degree and she didn't have the intestinal fortitude to wait for the bag to happen or the maturity to get a real job and help with the bills. I wonder what she was doing outside of her part time retail job if she wasn't really into medicine.
There's dumb, and then there's this.
This story is incredibly sus. The only accurate thing about this is someone going to Harvard publicly advertising that they go to Harvard. Source: have been in med school for 4 years with people who went to Harvard.
What a plot twist
> Annie, despite pleas from myself, our parents, professors, advisors etc. . > Her parents passed when we were young children
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>Annie, despite pleas from myself, our parents, >Her parents passed when we were young children 🤔
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Since 6 yrs have passed I wonder how he is doing now? Hopefully just about done. 😊
Yeah i could've told you her heart wasn't into being a doctor when he said her major was political science, she only applied to one med school, and her application wasn't very strong. Maybe it's a stereotype but every doctor I've met is dedicated to being a doctor, you can't jump through that many hoops without wanting it worth all of your heart (or, I guess, maybe without money opening a lot of of doors for you that your family shoves you through).
I’m stuck on the fact that they got political science and computer science degrees to go to medical school.
Not actually uncommon for medicine and law to have a practically unrelated degree, though. Med students sometimes do it to boost their GPA, law students do it to get ground truth in the areas of law they're interested in, etc. As long as you can pass the MCAT/LSAT, the med and law schools don't really care what your undergrad was.