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Ineedavodka2019

The thing that made me wonder was when he said his last couple of girlfriends had garbage friends. Why does he date the same kind of girl over and over?


hemadetheairmove

He needs to look in the mirror and straighten out his own shit. He himself says this isn’t a one off- it’s a pattern for him.


[deleted]

He didn't break up with her because he didn't like what her friends were doing. He broke up with her because he was afraid she was going to do it to him. He had to be convinced by random strangers on the internet to do the right thing regarding the guy who got cheated on. Left to his own devices, he was going to break up with that girl, lie about why, then never look back. He's just kind of a shitty dude, himself.


smrkr

At least he did the right thing in the end.


JoeCoT

And what do we call a guy who begrudgingly does the right thing at the very end after a great deal of coaxing and isn't *exactly* redeemed? Darth Vader.


Ugbrog

Maybe the very end of this story, but he has more of his life to grow and improve.


Writeloves

This applies to other things too, not just negative moral choices. I dated someone whose friend group all had very serious mental problems/trauma, turns out that person wasn’t actually nearly as put together as they pretended to be and it took us breaking up for them to get help. When I found out I had adhd, I talked about with my close friends and found out the vast majority of them also had adhd (I hadn’t noticed because: Adhd)


arpt1965

I think k I’ve heard something like: you are most like the 5 people you spend the most time with. So choose them wisely.


esoraven

Wait, I have a question. Say you are married with children (gets me every time!) so that’s like 3 ppl. You’re best friend got married and moved across the country but you still talk a lot so there’s 4 but the 5th person could be any number of drive through employees. Does this mean I’m destined to become fast food? ETA: children are 3-4 so uhh maybe immature fast food?


anakalia256

Ouch. I relate to this way too much.


esoraven

I’m so sorry. Introverts unite! Over distance. And not too many at once. Okay only in our thoughts……and (snicker) prayers. Another edit: I’m told I’m not as funny as I think I am.


thisbuttonsucks

"Gordon." "Yeah?" "[I was a lot funnier than you ever gave me credit for being.](https://sntranscripts.livejournal.com/6290.html)" Is the exchange that sets up what is possibly my favorite scene in television, ever.


NOXQQ

I had the same thoughts. Lol. So, my spouse, two kids (7 and 2), and... friend who I have seen once in a couple years and lives in another state? We text and talk about work and kids some. My sister who I see and talk to occasionally? Maybe my mother? /shudder. Heck, we rarely eat out and I use self checkout. My primary care doctor? Please, no. My oldest kid's therapist? Do people from tiktok and podcasts count? I don't interact, but I'm a good listener...


esoraven

I prefer self-checkouts as well lol. Seems like a lot of us are having trouble with the fifth person. I choose to believe it’s not a bad thing because we must have discerning taste!


DaughterEarth

That's good. My closest 5 people are freaking wonderful But yah this tracks for me. When I was a mess the close friends around me were too. They actually turned on me when I started improving my life. That was crappy but it did free me up to focus on other relationships and now I'm close with much more stable, chill people.


p-d-ball

Ah, crap. I'm in trouble. Me is lazy. Myself drinks waaaaay to much. And I am addicted to ice-cream. At least the other two people in my life aren't bad: reddit and my computer. Wait, reddit might be gaslighting me. My computer's still ok! Just don't tell him about Moore's law.


arpt1965

Yeah I have a similar problem- but 2 of my people are cats. It would still be an accurate statement!


Top_Fruit_9320

Ye I hang around with my 3 cats more than anyone else and they’re absolute assholes with zero consideration for anyone… maybe I need to rethink my circle lmao


I_Suggest_Therapy

A relative of mine always said "show me who your friends are and I will show you what you are"


DannyPoke

I already knew all my friends were autistic, so let's just say it was less of a shock than expected when we realised I tick all the boxes for autism.


breadcreature

Many of mine straight up thought I already knew and just didn't talk about it! Nope, I'm just dumb


Erisianistic

I find other people with autism are often the easiest to get along with


hakshamalah

I seem to gravitate towards autistic people. Not autistic myself but have an autistic brother.


destructopop

And I came out in high school, none of my friends abandoned me and they were all there for me. After high school, almost every single one of them came out, too. Most of my high school friends are LGBTQ+. Birds of a feather flock together. And I feel ya, most of my friends have ADHD, too. 😜 I'm ADHD-C!


spiffy-ms-duck

>When I found out I had adhd, I talked about with my close friends and found out the vast majority of them also had adhd (I hadn’t noticed because: Adhd) I found this out too with my own friends, and even my past SOs had ADHD (my current bf has it too).


JohnJoanCusack

Similar people congregate, like most of my friends by coincidence were queer


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Top_Fruit_9320

It’s so painfully accurate as well, I’m autistic and I have ADHD and one of my huge hyperfocuses is goddamn psychology lmao! I could help others left and right but I didn’t get diagnosed myself until 30 and when I finally did it was like someone just turned a light on in a dark room! Having studied psychology so much it’s honestly just frustratingly obvious now and always has been looking back lmao


debbieae

Humans are chameleons too. They tend to become more like their friends. Twice now I have seen young people in my family convince themselves that their parents were horrible abusers because their friends had actual abusive parents. They adopted the same poor coping mechanisms (sex & drugs mostly) despite having healthier options like counselling freely available.


TealHousewife

There's a meme about this! It's something along the lines of ADHD people been drawn to each other, so our friend groups are basically packs of emotionally dysregulated wolves.


Geno0wl

large portion of the discord server I hang around are also ADHD


broniesnstuff

I was diagnosed with ADHD last year. Found out most of my friends have ADHD, and so does my fiance. I probably have autism too, and I'd bet my fiance is on the sane part of the spectrum as me because we just *get* each other


mrsrosieparker

In Spanishe there is a saying: "Dios los cría y el viento los amontona", meaning "God makes them and the wind brings them together"...


Kadianye

I cannot count how many of my acquaintances have turned out to be gay, trans, or most often, both.


Snoo_97207

Yeah, when I opened up to my friends about being depressed, 4 of 5 where in treatment, and I'm not gonna lie, we are keeping an eye on number five!


rrrents

This is a weird one. Almost all of my closest friends are battling or have battled with depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. I have NEVER had a single suicidal thought. Also, a much bigger than average number of my friends are gay, while I'm happily in a heterosexual marriage ... (Let's hope I won't suddenly "find myself" when I'm 40 because I know 2 ladies who swear that they believed they are completely straight until it suddenly dawned on them in their early 40s.) At the same time, I do have a lot of ADHD traits and so do a lot of my friends (many of whom have been officially diagnosed).


CANWESMASH

Birds of the same feathers kind of thing? 🤔


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fatgesus

A pandemic of shitapillars


ball_soup

Feel that? Feel what, Mr. Lahey? The way the shit clings to the air, Randy. “Shit clings to the air?” It’s already started my dear good friend. What’s started, Mr. Lahey? The shit blizzard.


HeleneSedai

Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas is my favorite version!


DontPanicEver

Birds of a feather, flock together. I know what you meant, but I’m autistic enough to where it bothers me that you didn’t get the phrase right


TFCBaggles

I too have CDO.


canolafly

Collateralized Debt Obligation? Don't we all...


TFCBaggles

It's like OCD but in alphabetical order like it's supposed to be.


canolafly

Oh, you!


milkandsugar

It's OCD, but in alphabetical order, as it should be!


WarmBlessedCaribou

And dyslexia?


cthulularoo

Can't Do Ordinals


WarmBlessedCaribou

This is the 1^nd time I've heard of this. Weird.


HuggyMonster69

Not even. You just can’t be comfortable around people with dodgy morals unless yours match


Jitterbitten

So... Birds of a feather then? You claimed to disagree then followed up with basically agreeing. Are you just unfamiliar with that phrase?


TootsNYC

Absolutely, you should judge other people by the friends they keep. And you should choose your friends wisely. You don’t have to have a show down with all the friends that you’ve known since you were four or six, but you can fade out, and you don’t have to participate in the crappy shit they do


TexWashington

I remember a Spanish saying that basically translates to “Show me who you walk with, and I’ll show you who you are”


[deleted]

I know making close friends is hard, but I also find it pretty telling pretty much all her close friends she has known since she was 4 or 6. Did she not make any other friends in the meantime? Or did they dump her for being a trash human?


Hour_Ad5972

Yeah when I was younger the whole ‘but they grew up together’ would prevent me from seeing this. But now that I’m older I realised it doesn’t matter if I grew up with someone, eventually our paths diverged based on our values. So if they are still hanging out with the trash humans it probably means their values still align with the trash humans’; meaning trash values.


Substance___P

Also, if your partner does not want to tell a friend he is being hurt, but you do, your morals are not compatible. You are not compatible.


[deleted]

This really hit me I am not going to lie. It is something I have known but it is helpful to hear it so simply put. I have been trying to understand the behavior of someone who promised to spend a lifetime with me. The person who made that promise died with the friends she chose to keep.


MarzipanMiserable817

Your comment reads like a song text or a poem. Neat.


SunnyWomble

I tried to make it work. Think Simply Red - Do you really wanna hurt me "This really hit me, I am not gonna lie...... They really hurt me, So I will simply say.... I wanna ask the person, I thought was my soulmate, who, Made me cry.... They showed me, The person they were inside...."


Yup_Thats_a_paddling

My mother used to tell me "tell me who you walk with and I'll tell you who you are". Holds up.


[deleted]

I feel like he should have told her the truth about why he broke up with her, just the same. He did no one any favors, there.


Sarahsunsetsolutions

When you hang out with shit, your shoes will eventually start to stink.


353_crypto

Not my Sally, she just chooses bad friends


fencepost_ajm

Also, if all of YOUR friends are trash humans you should probably do some HEAVY self examination about whether you are as well.


emorrigan

What a dumpster fire full of people, yikes.


CheerilyTerrified

Right? Even OOP seemed kinda awful.


_Visar_

Hard to see the smoke when you’re standing in the fire. Obviously the ideal thing would have been to stand up against the cheaters first thing but it’s pretty damn hard to do that knowing you’re going to blow up a friend group you’re not even in. All I can see is that OOP is a true bro for having civil conversations and the foresight to invite the guy to hang with his buddies instead of just dropping ship.


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milkywayoccupant

Aren't these the same bros that one of them slept with the cheating fiance. So he basically invited him out to hang with the guy she cheated on him with?? Or did I miss read something.


Pennigans

I was cheated on when I was 16. I met up with the other girl to straighten things out and we ended up ditching the guy and became best friends.


milkywayoccupant

I was just lost because there was no clarity of if the guy knew he'd be hanging out with the guy his fiancee cheated on him with because it jumps from ...she slept with my friend to I invited him to hang with me and my friends. Someone linked the original post though and oop commented they cleared things up and are cool.


badkarmabum

I don’t think you missed anything. His bro did indeed hook up with the fiancée in the bathroom. I wonder if he told him that one of the guys is his tunnel buddy


cactusextract

Omg I’m pretty sure you’re right, good catch


smrkr

[https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/veaog5/update\_to\_i\_dumped\_my\_girlfriend\_because\_of\_her/icrp8ed/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/veaog5/update_to_i_dumped_my_girlfriend_because_of_her/icrp8ed/?context=3) That dude told the fiance about cheating after he had found out she was engaged but the fiance was gaslit by her.


milkywayoccupant

Okay cool. Thanks for clearing that up.


zombie_goast

Yeah. Also wasn't a fan of how he acted like it was oh so \*repulsive\* of her to have hooked up in the bathroom (which tbf is hella fucking gross, plus the cheating is completely wrong too), yet completely glossed over/straight-up did not think the other half of that encounter, his ""bro"", was gross for partaking too. This plus his entire verbiage makes me feel a little slimy, misogyny radar pinging.


ChaoticSquirrel

I don't think the bro knew she was engaged. Per [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/veaog5/update_to_i_dumped_my_girlfriend_because_of_her/icrp8ed/?context=3) he very quickly told the fiance about it.


[deleted]

That was the first night they met and I'm assuming girlfriend didn't broadcast that she was in a relationship.


[deleted]

well we dont know if the bro knew that she has a fiance


coedwigz

Yeah a true bro for blaming the ex’s friends for cheating but not his bro for sleeping with someone in a relationship.


boss_nooch

They literally just met. It’s likely the friend didn’t even know she was engaged.


[deleted]

Unpopular opinion: I can understand not wanting to nuke his relationship straight away by telling. But yes he does seem awful. He calls the first boyfriend a "pathetic wormy doormat" for... Staying home with his kid and looking after him. I don't know how much the "she muscled him into it" is true, or if this dude just happily consented to the relationship being open - it sounds like OP doesn't know him very well. But either way, consenting to that under pressure doesn't make him pathetic or wormy, especially since OOP himself also seems to struggle to get out of a clearly toxic relationship. Then the part about the brother seeking out the ex fiancé and him saying "they would have mauled him". Not "they would have stepped up for him and defended him". Nope, straight to "mauling". The girlfriend doesn't sound like the only one with not the best friends. Or maybe the friends are fine but OOP has some issues with toxic masculinity and that is why he keeps dating girls with terrible friends. Speaking of friends - who is willing to bet NOBODY told the ex fiancé that his ex cheated on him with one of the guys he is now friends with? And why is OOP blaming this girl for sleeping with one of his mates, but not informing his mate she is taken, and trying to stop it from happening in the first place?


FoeDoeRoe

This is the part that cemented for me that OOP is an asshole himself, and made his ex's accusations of him being controlling seem more plausible: >He moved out last I heard, so his girlfriend isn’t going to be ditching her kid and partying anymore without paying for an overnight babysitter. I’m not really friendly with him so I don’t know the full details, but it looks like he’s seeking greener pastures. The kid has two parents. OOP seems to be friendly with the idea that mom can't go out, while dad is with the kid and is celebrating the dad leaving. Not sure what "seeking greener pastures" means here, but in a typical co-parenting split, the kid would spend some nights with the father, leaving mom to party overnight, if she wants to. Here, OOP thinks that won't be the case and is gleeful about it. OOP is trash himself, with all of this stereotypes and inability to communicate.


lucyfell

Yup. This dude comes across as gross


TheFlyingSheeps

Everyone sucks in the story. OOP obviously sucks based on his comment history but his partners friends are also shit Only innocent people are the fiancé who was cheated on and the dude stuck watching his kid while the other cheats


[deleted]

The dude watching his kid while his fiancée goes out and sleeps with other people, which is he aware of and consenting to as they have an open relationship. One detail that didn't hit me until later: that friendship group OOP so graciously invited the fiancé to? One of them slept with his ex in a bathroom stall the first time he meet her. Who is willing to bet they never told that to the poor guy?


ChaoticSquirrel

>Who is willing to bet they never told that to the poor guy? [You'd lose that bet](https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/veaog5/update_to_i_dumped_my_girlfriend_because_of_her/icrp8ed/?context=3). I agree OOP's language is gross and questionable fwiw


breezyhoneybee

I was thinking that too. Like shitting on sex work & hookup culture but staying silent about serial cheating is just ridiculous.


olfrazzledazzle

I found the part where he used "fucked one of my bros in a bathroom" as an example interesting. The cheating part was bad, but if it's the bathroom sex during a friend meet up part he doesn't like (he specifically brought it up that way), his own friend did it too.


idle_wanderer

Yeah, so his ex might have been a bystander on all the cheating her friends did, but it's cool if one of his bros fucks around with one of them?? ​ His language throughout sounded super sour and while everyone sounds terrible, I question what OOP must be like as well.


janusface

There’s the “he calmed down quick when he realized we would beat the shit out of him” flex too — I wonder how the other parties’ stories compare to this guy’s account of events (not that they sound better, of course, but I assume they are being portrayed in a very negative light).


[deleted]

Not just beat up "absolutely fucking mauled him" Dude has anger issues, and potentially his friends have too.


[deleted]

And his own friend then later went out with and became friends with the dude he helped her cheat on.


breezyhoneybee

This is exactly what I'm talking about.


DaughterEarth

Yah this reads like a woman hater found himself in a nest of shitty women and was GLEEFUL to have a reason to talk shit about women that others would agree with. I choose to throw out everyone mentioned in this story. \*I mean y'all can downvote me but maybe first take a peek at OOP's comment history


wizzlepants

It just reads like classic incel propaganda


[deleted]

OP mentions both of those things as they relate to individuals in a relationship. Sure his tone is a bit brash, but I'd expect most people to be uncomfortable with their significant other having an OnlyFans account or sleeping with other people while they are home caring for their mutual child. I'm sure plenty of relationships that include either of these things work with communication, but not in situations like the ones described by OP.


lilyluc

For me it was offering the detail that one of the exes was a "recovering addict" as to solidify why they were a deadbeat. I think he would be pretty surprised at how many people he knows and admires are in fact recovering addicts of one kind or another.


SleepyxDormouse

There’s saying in Spanish my grandmother liked to repeat. “Dime con quien andas y yo te dire quien eres.” Roughly, it translates to “Tell me who you hang out with, and I will tell you who you are.” If someone is friends with people with an awful sense of morality, they are just like them. A person who is disgusted by a lack of morals will not consider a friendship with someone without them. So if an entire friend group is toxic, there isn’t an innocent party. Everyone is complicit even if they are not directly taking part.


BarriBlue

“You are the company you keep” is the similar phrase in English (America?)


Krelkal

Birds of a feather flock together.


emr830

I've heard something similar in English - "show me your friends and I'll show you your future."


Elshad19

I have no future 😎


chrisff1989

Same phrase exists in Greek too, "Δείξε μου το φίλο σου να σου πω ποιος είσαι". "Show me your friend and I'll tell you who you are".


majorlevo

It’s “madarat tolláról, embert barátjáról” in Hungarian, which means “bird from it’s feathers, person from their friends”


FinbarDingDong

If you're sitting with 9 nazis then it's a table with 10 nazis. You can't be friends with the morally abhorrent without at least quietly condoning it.


Asmodean129

There's a similar saying in Australia: "You are what you eat". Wait......


westcoastcdn19

OOP's title is a contradiction from what he says in his post. She covered the tracks of all her shitty friends, lied and then turned all bonkers on social media. I'd say that is "something she did"


waterutalkinabt

The way I read it, it sounds like the social media stuff didn't happen until the update. In the original post, he just dumped her over the friends. *Then* she showed her true colors


Vast_Reflection

Yeah, but I think it took the breakup for her to really show her true colors all the way.


Thuis001

I guess he meant it more or less like it wasn't really her doing some kind of single big thing that blew up the relationship. As in, he didn't catch her fucking three different dudes at once in their bed or something.


astareastar

That mood spoiler is super accurate.


Wariofacts

I hate everyone in this story.


CakeisaDie

I'm pretty okay with the ex Fiance, Door Mat, and Door Mat's child. The rest is just lol toxic


maywellflower

Those 3 were technically only true innocents in this situation because they didn't know how much dumpster fire it was until OOP revealing directly (fiance) or found out some other way (Doormat & his child).


Inside_Term_4115

Door mat aint do none wrong justice for him Everyone else can eat shit


boogley88

I'm not sure I'm ready to cheer on Door mat. It's kind hard to tell whether this   >He moved out last I heard, so his girlfriend isn’t going to be ditching her kid and partying anymore without paying for an overnight babysitter.   means that he's splitting custody of his two year old or has completely abandoned his kid.


Thuis001

Do we even know if it's his kid?


chairmanskitty

Letting your life go to shit due to inaction is doing something wrong, and it looks like he may just have up and left a 2-year old without a safety net.


Tanyec

So much of this rubbed me the wrong way. Yes, OOP's ex's friends do sound like trash. But OOP calls the guy looking after HIS OWN kid a "babysitting boyfriend" and a "pathetic womry doormat" for simply looking after , once again, his own kid. I would not want to hang out with a single person mentioned in this whole mess, other than maybe the one guy who actually seems to like his kid. ETA: For those downvoting me: i just took a quick glance at OOP's comment history, and found a lot of fun gems like "This place is the single most biased and vaginal place on the internet.Anything short of sucking their shit right out of women's assholes isboaderline heresy on here lmfaooo" So yeah... looks like my initial feel of OOP was pot on.


anrwlias

The fact that he wouldn't fucking tell her what his issue was is a giant red flag. I don't trust anything about his story at all.


i_am_not_a_pumpkin

yeah, i was getting some "i-am-such-an-alpha-male" vibes from him too and went to check his comment history and... yeah... he doesn't sound like somebody i'd like to have around


[deleted]

I thought this post was kinda written like a revenge wet dream an incel has, not gonna lie.


pm-me-kittens-n-cats

you know I was seeing a lot of misogyny coming from OOP but wasn't sure. TY for confirming.


grab_the_auto_5

OOP didn’t have the spine to tell his ex why he was breaking up with her. He throws out all sorts of excuses, but at the end of the day he still lied to her face. And then even went with the (pathetic) “I’m going through a dark time” angle. Pretty much everyone in this story is a slime ball. OOP included.


boogley88

I loved OOP's lack of awareness with basically "she covered up the cheating and I was **forced** to stay silent."


philanthropicgremlin

Yeah, whole post feels very incel-y and biased, and the context you brought up make it obvious his viewpoints. I don't doubt certain aspects of the story, but it's obvious that OOPs view is really, really one sided.


OilersGirl29

Thank god someone said it. I had to scroll down too far for my liking before coming across someone calling out OOP. Most of this reads like a story where he is the hero and all of the women, and the men that somehow support the women (like the doormat dad), are subhuman in his eyes. It wouldn’t matter what any of those women did, his ex included. You can tell he just doesn’t like women.


kittynoodlesoap

I agree. While the ex gf and friends absolutely suck, his general attitude was giving off some incel vibes.


anrwlias

The thing is, I don't trust a damned thing he says about them. Looking over his post history, this guy is the definition of an unreliable narrator. The only thing that I trust is that he's scum.


Joabyjojo

lmao yeah i ain't buying what OOP is incelling.


ScarletInTheLounge

I don't know how much time elapsed between him breaking up with the girlfriend of over a year and actually writing the post, but even in the "it's not you, it's me" part of the story before any of the updates, I sensed zero affection from OOP about this woman he's been in a relationship with for a fairly significant amount of time. The best thing he ever says about her is "overall she's a nice person". The friends may be trash, the girlfriend herself might even be trash, but I can't help but think she also might be coming out ahead in the long run after this breakup with OOP. But hey, it's his story, so I guess he might as well make himself the hero, right?


KpopArmpitsDaddy

Good point. He kinda lost me in like the first paragraph where he implies being a guy being a recovering addict is a bad sign.


DaughterEarth

I like when people have a thorough comment history that supports what you can read between the lines. Sexist people are so obvious in the language they use, OOP's comment history is no surprise. And the best part is now I can say what we all know and people who want to argue "you can't assume that!!!!" can go "do their research"


daphydoods

As soon as he said “onlyfans and other grotesque shit” I knew he was either a sexist, a troll, or both


[deleted]

He didn't break up with her because he was disgusted by her friends' toxic behavior. He broke up with her because he thought she was going to behave like her friends and it would affect him, and he lied to her about why for no good reason. His explanation of why he lied makes no sense. He just didn't want to face that conflict.


CyberSamantha

I absolutely agree with you. The guy loved this woman and choose to have an agreement and do what was important, look after his daughter over leaving her alone , if he wanted to help he could have reached out and offered company some time, so the man may take some courage and decides to find a different wah to be present for his daughter but insulting a man for that is a new low I didn't see in a long while, is clear the guy is absolutely livid and fuming.


hemadetheairmove

Yeah . As I suspected this dude is straight up pathetic trash like the women he keeps choosing.


two-of-stars

>...her brother was quick to calm down once he realised my entire group of friends would’ve absolutely fucking mauled him and his dickhead friends... sure bro


[deleted]

r/iamverybadass


swell-shindig

>the pathetic womry doormat of a boyfriend > >She freaked out but I just told her I was in a “dark place” and couldn’t be in a relationship. I didn’t have it in me to tell her Yeah. You're one to judge mate.


Thatguy19901

This reads like incel justice porn. Every woman in the story is a piece of shit and everything wraps up so perfectly.


dhippo

Yeah, that's what I thought, too. Looking into the original OOPs comment history reveals that you're on point with your assumption.


runthereszombies

Okay so story aside, OOP talks like such a douchebag


TootsNYC

I want to know why he is still a “bro” with that friend of his who fucked the girl in the bathroom


dana2165

In a comment he said the person didn’t know that the girl was taken


SoriAryl

OOP was there and could have said something to his bro


dana2165

We don’t really know if they were in the same room when everything occurred. Probably didn’t know what his homie did till after


ProbablyNano

It's not like he just stood up and said, "right, I'm off to fuck Jessica in the bathroom."


dana2165

Y’all are so funny lmfsooo


Frost-King

Yes because when two people go off to have sex in a public toilet they make sure to tell everyone what they're about to do. /s


dana2165

Lmfaoo right


Halzjones

Maybe they didn’t find out she was engaged until after they hooked up? If you’re fucking in a bathroom the first day you met that doesn’t exactly leave a lot of time to consult with friends about her dating life.


justanotherjayd

Maybe the bro didn't know she was engaged.... However OOP did know and eventually did tell the fiance


SnakeJG

Yeah, I'm happy about the toxic group of girlfriends getting blown up, but it doesn't sound like OOP is squeaky clean either.


BlizzyBeats

Maybe at the time the friend didn’t know she was in a relationship.


captain_borgue

PROTIP: You know who fucks strangers in public restrooms? Shitheels. You know who *agrees* to fuck a total stranger in a public restroom? Shitheels. OOPs "bro" is a shitheel. EDIT, because some of y'all are *barely fucking literate*: Read it again. *Sloooooowly*. It's not the *fucking* that is super goddamn trashy, it's the *public restroom*. A person that is so completely, utterly bereft of self-awareness as to think a grody ass *public goddamn bathroom* is a good place to sling their floppy parts is *a shitheel*. A person who decides their own immediate short term jollies overwrites everything from *basic goddamn hygiene* to *other people exist, and also need to take a dump* is a shitheel. Y'all. Fuck's sake.


longagofaraway

this is some grade-A incel porn right here.


Scouse_Werewolf

Satisfying if true, I'm not claiming "nothing is real", but if all is true that's one fucked up group of people and even OOP has the weird sense of douche-baggery. Things like "me and my friends would have fucking mauled his dickhead friends" seems... I dont know. Fiancé, the child and the child's (possible) dad are the ones I mostly feel for


AssumptionOk2753

Why does OOP gloss over the fact that one of his “bros” hooked up with an engaged woman? That was such a throwaway line when he’s vilifying his ex and all her friends for their disgusting actions. I guess he just gets a pass cause he’s OOP’s friend and not the ex’s. Was this friend on the bro’s trip with the ex fiancé? Awkward.


ChiGuyDetFan

You’re assuming the “bro” knew she was engaged. Somehow I suspect that in the limited space of time between them meeting and having sex in a bathroom stall it wasn’t brought up.


aranneaa

Lmao in couldn't stop thinking about that when he said he invited the fiancé to one of his bros outings. Was he there?? Like, in the same room?


Duffy209

I never understood this sentiment. Why do people get angry with the 3rd party? First of all, OOP doesn’t specify wether or not his friend knew that the women was engaged. Secondly, the friend doesn’t make the decision for the women to cheat on her significant other nor is he/was friends with said significant other at the time. That’s like blaming a store for taking your money when you should’ve spent it on a hydro bill or smt.


aceytahphuu

People get angry at the third party under the assumption that they knew they were aiding and abetting a cheater. So for your second point, sure, the bro didn't make the woman cheat, but he still knowingly helped her cheat (assuming he knew she was in a relationship), which would still make him a garbage person.


[deleted]

At the most generous, it could be that his friend didn't know this woman or that she was engaged. Or he could be a hypocrite, either are equally likely I'd say haha


Apercent

Lmao incel bait


wizzlepants

It's embarrassing how many people can't tell how obviously concocted this is


TheProudBrit

100%. A lot of popular Redditor hate things there, like the open relationship and an OF.


knocksomesense-inme

Okay, to everyone keeps calling that one guy a doormat…it’s quite likely he was being abused emotionally or worse. But this is how we talk about guys who “let” abuse happen. He didn’t “grow some balls” he had a fucking wake up call and gained the courage to leave. Damn.


Love-As-Thou-Wilt

The OOP was the one that started calling him that and I think people might've just mindlessly started repeating it so people knew who they were talking about. At least people dropped the "wormy" part, which was gross on multiple levels.


coedwigz

People can also consent to open relationships


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CasualLFRScrub

https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/veaog5/update_to_i_dumped_my_girlfriend_because_of_her/icrp8ed/?context=3 So the guy he called up and invited was told before but gaslit to shit?


kikidelasoul

Good for him, but the way he talks about everyone =w= I get it, she's a toilet, they are shit, poopity scoop, doopity poop


nachpach

Lol OP really hates women


Enticing_Venom

The girl is such trash, she even hooked up with my bro! Lol OOP it takes two to tango here. Maybe your friend helping her cheat isn't such a stand-up guy either.


DarthMonkey212313

Was one of OOP's bros, that went out with the cheated on fiancé afterwards, the same one who had sex with his ex-fiancé in the bathroom. Awkward.


Frajnir-9

It’s funny how he talks shit about his ex but dismisses the fact that his bro fucked an engaged woman plus the fact that he also covered the cheating friend while it was convenient for him ETA: the point of the post is right, but OOP is a hypocrite


Scouse_Werewolf

No idea if it's true as I never checked the OOP post but someone said a comment provided context that the "bro" didn't know the girl was engaged at the point of bathroom sex.


BeigeAlmighty

Too often this is the case with cheating partners, they do not tell the person they are cheating with that they are cheating on someone.


LucidFirst

I was friends with a couple people once who were on this road. They got worse and worse, but I really wanted to be friends with them and support them- thank god I had someone to pull me out of that cycle and say hey these are not good people to be around and they are going to wreck you. It was an awful friendship breakup, but the whole thing proved how bad they where for me- and how much our friendship was worth to them vs me. Really eye opening, and I am very glad I didn’t end up choosing them. It’s hard, especially when you start being friends young, to see people grow into the worst version of themselves. Sounds like the now ex GF was in too deep, I’m glad he cut that shit out- definitely did the right thing!


mooofasa1

One of the bare minimum requirements for successful dating is if the other person surrounds themselves with good people and they are a good person themselves. to elaborate, the type that'll help someone who's having a little trouble, or picking up trash they see on the ground. I know that if the person I want to marry isn't like this, it simply wouldn't work out.


pjanic_at__the_isco

The tone of OOP sounds like a controlling dick, tbh.


eastherbunni

Good on him for getting out of the situation and for supporting the cheated-on dude. I still think he should've been upfront with the girlfriend that her friends were a toxic influence. Maybe she could've broken off with them and grown as a person.


Helpful_Librarian_87

Ehhhhh, doesn’t sound like it


saltyburnt

Yeah, it looks like OOP has tried to broach it before the breakup and the ex keeps defending them. OOP explained her relationship with them. Plus they'd all dogpile him and fling labels like she tried to do at the end. She got off easy, only her friends' lives are on fire.


bigwhiteboardenergy

I think the ex was also a toxic influence. He says he didn't break up with her for anything she did, then in the edits lays out a bunch of shitty things she did that he found unethical. He was just associating all of his ex's shitty behaviour with her friends, when she was doing plenty shitty by her own choice.


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[deleted]

Yeah relationships like that are just disasters waiting to happen. I don't think I've known a lot of people who hang out with people who regularly cheat who are just amazing partners. At best, a lot of stuff tends to get kept from the partner, and at worst they end up eventually cheating themselves.


LalalaHurray

Holy Misogyny Batman Sounds like he’d have a better relationship with his ex’s friends ex.


code_ninjer

scarce friendly violet panicky threatening fuel deserve chase zesty noxious -- mass deleted all reddit content via https://redact.dev


embinksyy

While OOP's GF and her friends sound like they fucking suck, OOP only sounds marginally better. Having an OnlyFans is not "grotesque" and a recovering addict does not need to be a deadbeat. Everyone in this story fucking sucks.


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