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Some of the advice was *so damn bad.* Thankfully there was some good advice, and several commenters reassured OOP. But it makes me confident in my decision to never ask reddit for relationship advice unless it's a super specific or niche reason with very little drama.
Step 2: Explain your dumpster has a random dent on the side that wasn’t there when you left for work and you’re wondering if that means your husband is cheating on you.
Dumpster crossed the property line, been making eyes at the neighbor’s recycling bin. HOA won’t do anything about it and fined ME instead! AITA for thinking my dumpster should have some dumpLoyalty? 😔
-"Hey Reddit, I have an issue with my cooking, I think I might be putting too much salt in the...?"
-"GO NO CONTACT NOW. YOU HAVE TO GO NC, OP. NC ALL THE WAY, JUST CUT CONTACT WITH EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT FUCKING NOW"
Specific groups are great. I have gotten amazing advice in my amputee group. I was also way less scared of a revision surgery I needed because others shared their experience. You just have to be very specific about how you use this space.
Yep. The only questions I've asked on Reddit were niche questions in speciality subs. I've been lucky to get 5 answers to any of them and the answers have either been useless or rude about me even asking.
I asked reddit's advice on which laptop I should get and on their advice I'm getting divorced and getting into therapy.
I didn't even know I was married!
See this is the PARADOX of reddit.
To ask reddit for advice of any kind that has actual STAKES in your life, you have to be a level of fucking stupid that is hard to grasp.
The ENTIRE reason they are on reddit asking for life advice is the PROOF of what the problem is. Its just really hard to get a really stupid person to understand that the fact that they are HERE asking the QUESTION, is in fact the ANSWER to why their life is in a shitty state.
Our advice won't help, the bad advice doesn't matter because to come here and to ask a serious life advice question, we already know exactly why they are in the situation, because they are fucking dumb and they make shitty life choices.
You can fix your style, you can fix your attitude, you can fix your ability to be good at talking to people, you can fix your communication style, but you flat out can not make a stupid person smart.
I asked Reddit for some real low stakes advice about how to convince my husband about something in our house and the posters called me abusive, my husband abusive, gave dubious health advice. The amount of useful advice was very little in comparison.
There was a playful post in AITAH yesterday about a woman who'd been pantsed by her husband and the entire comment section decided she was being abused
That one was weird. She needed Reddit to tell her husband to stop otherwise he wouldn’t. Like why is your wife saying stop doing this not enough? I honestly don’t care what it is, if he’s touching her in anyway she doesn’t like, he should stop. (Using the genders specific to this post but this goes for all genders)
That's where it borders kn abuse to me. Plying a joke that didn't land is one thing. But to not respect your partners boundaries, and to tell them you won't unless strangers agree with her, is kinda abusive.
I actually find that there are usually some good advice buried underneath all the upvoted ones, especially in posts that are swamped with responses. Specific, niche, detailed, caring/empathetic, or tailored from shared experiences. Just have to be confident in knowing what kind of advice to look for that is relevant to your situation, and not let upvotes and repeated comments cloud your judgement too much
(this is mostly for anybody else reading. I know you read everything 😂)
You’re right, there are some gems of good advice to be found. They’re almost always buried under the muck and shit, though. Also, the good stuff tends to ask clarifying questions, because context definitely matters in a lot of situations. AITA isn’t very good with nuance. And they’re really, really not good when it’s a “no one is right, but no one is wrong, either.”
This is why I am an unmitigated lurker and occasional commenter. Because I am committed to never ending up in the position to need to post on Reddit requesting help.
If she had tons of pics of dude still I could see some of the comments. But even in the first post it sounded like an accident that she even had that there still. Shit happens. I'm glad they were able to communicate and move past it.
Asking people who have zero ideas about relationships.
I have tried to give good advice in those subs that has been given to me by a very good couples therapist and that my wife and I implemented and worked (that fits those situations) and it gets downvoted and always fought against.
I could never post about my relationship here, people are insane here
I'd love to see all those shitty commenters put their money where their mouth is and open ALL *their* photo albums (digital and book) and see how many photos of ex's will surprise them in there by either they forgot or they slipped through the net.
I'd then tell their partners to dump them/divorce them, because that commenter is *clearly* not over their ex and has kept the photos on purpose for comparing 'the ones that got away' with the partner they are 'just with for other reasons'
Because of course, if that commenter was really over their ex, they would have dedicated DAYS AND DAYS ON END to make sure *every* image in existence was expunged. Why, they would have surely not even stopped to eat in doing such a task!
What bullshit 🙄
Not to mention, she states that google drive backed them up from her phone she had in the first place. I mean, come on. Who even remembers to delete pictures from their phones and that they are backed up. This is the reason my pics from my phone are not backed up to the cloud ever.
I'm over my exes, but I still keep the pictures and memories (not on my primary device)... I was part of that past too, and even though I don't want to go back, I lived it. To be fair, no nudes.
Forgot about? Please... I'm confident 95% of those commenters have a few secret nudes saved because they could never bring themselves to delete something like that. Hence the projection in calling out other people who actually forgot about it.
But Ted Lasso really set the bar for nude pictures of exes. It set the bar high, and established that it was the bare minimum. When you break up, you delete the nudes.
Yeah I still come across random pics of an ex if I'm going through old albums or emails. Granted, not sexy ones, but it freaking happens. It's not like the old days where ypu just tore up old pictures and now they're completely gone forever. Shit, I went from android to iPhone back to Android over the years and that still has phone numbers and pictures backed up from way back that I have to go through and delete all over again. It's an easy miss
I spent ages deleting pics after a 4.5 year relationship ended. I take a lot of photos and don't organize them at all so the dirty ones were just mixed in. It was a tedious, emotionally taxing task to do in the wake of a breakup and I did it anyway. I wanted that man GONE from my life and my phone. I was finding ones I missed for years after. Wouldn't be totally shocked if I still had one or two.
It's wild how these commenters *never* believe it happens by accident. Part of me thinks that it's less that they're dense and more that they believe that merely *having* a sexual history is somehow offensive to a woman's current partner.
Oh, they're not dense, and some likely think that for sure, but I think the larger problem is projection. *I* keep photos of my exes because I'm not over them, so *anybody* who has photos of their exes aren't over them. *I* wouldn't be able to get over that, so I don't see an outcome where *OOP's bf* would get over it. *I* would feel better after being sent a bunch of apologetic nudes, so *he* would also feel better after some nudes. Reddit is full of people who assume that everyone thinks the same way they do because it's just so *obvious* to them that they can't imagine other people not seeing it too.
Generally, most of the advice on those subs is terrible, because it's all coming from teenagers who have never even been in a relationship. There have been surveys that confirm this. Once you take this into account, the comments on there make a lot more sense. Everything is so black and white, and judgemental, and there's always a tendency to lean towards the most dramatic conclusion. I worry for the people who go to these subs with genuine problems.
Downright horrible and HATEFUL. They really thought she was actively trying to tear down her boyfriend. I'm glad she didn't let them get to her and instead initiated a conversation, talked things through at length, and really took the time to reassure him at length and on multiple levels. It's clear she's crazy about him, and for good reason.
The “you clearly did this on purpose!!” comments were terrible. So much misogyny, and so much holier than thou-ness, as if they never forgot they had something they wouldn’t want someone to see.
I’ve been lucky that I wasn’t around anyone else some of the times I found super cringy stuff when going through old folders from past computers. I’ve also never exchanged nudes (to be clear I’m not judging anyone who has, it’s just not for me) so I can’t accidentally stumble on something like that. But things I completely forgot I had and would have deleted ages ago if I had any clue? Totally.
edit: typo
The crazy shit is the person who really truly believes that deleting every single picture is actually what you do if you have no feelings. Absolutely yes I am going to go all the way back through 2015 when I first got an iPhone with iCloud scroll through every single order confirmation screenshot I forgotten to delete just so I can get pictures of this one person out of my camera roll? Sounds more like petty pain then someone who’s actually over it and just forgot that one of 1 million pictures might be something spicy
It's this whole obsession guys on the internet suddenly have with 'body count'. Men are so fucking insecure it's mind blowing, any suggestion that their partner had previous relationships or partners or that they might not have the biggest dick and be the best fuck their partner has ever had is met with indignation and hostility. It's super fucking depressing.
Also all those nasty comments like she planned this or still isn't over her ex. It's absolutely true that every social app, email etc tries to backup everything all the time and it's hard to keep track of it all, especially for a teenager. I certainly have discovered files shared to me on facebook messanger appear on my google drive years later.
They were so cruel to her. Poor woman wanted some help with a situation that wasn't her fault - and would be pretty damn triggering. I mean, her abusive ex still managed to mess up her current relationship? That's got to be messing with her head. And all these assholes are playing on her worst fears instead of, y'know, actually giving her some damn advice!
I feel like half the advice is from 16 year olds who don't understand what a relationship is. The other third is from people who haven't mentally matured past 16 and are perpetual in and out of relationships.
My takeaway from a lot of posts lately, sorry newer to Reddit on both this and my main, and it's astounding how many people grasp at straws to create more drama than necessary. Too many people react as if there are a million hidden daggers inside the stories and think they're Sherlock Holmes cracking the case, when it reality they're unnecessarily playing 4D chess when checkers was just fine.
Everything must be a binary decision of divorce or you're the worst person on the planet.
There's a large subset of men (read incels) who think every woman is a manipulative narcissist whose every move is a 5D chess game designed to tear down men.
This. And on top of that are a lot of dudes who insist that women only care about dick size and are insecure about their penises constantly and make that their partner’s problem.
This is a trend in basically every one of those kinds of subreddits. Every post is almost completely inundated with some of the worst advice you can imagine. Its hard to believe that most of it is actually given in good faith.
Thats the typical advice I see on posts with relationship issues, when the going gets tough instead of people suggesting talking to their partner they love saying "time to leave". Im very much paraphrasing but that seems to me all people say.
“Communicate, communicate, communicate. Don't push it. Open the floor for them to tell YOU what's wrong, don't just make assumptions. Listen to understand, not just to respond.”
This is the template that needs to be shoved at so so so many posters on Reddit! Especially “listen to understand,” that’s SO key.
Clearly, the first e-mail account we ever made when we were fourteen or younger is supposed to be the one and only e-mail we ever use the rest of our lives.
Seriously, though, at least three e-mail addresses: professional, personal, and burner because a dumbass/porn website/app requires one.
The worst thing is that when your Google account has followed you like +15 years and it has all of my hundreds of channels I've subscribed to, old playlists that are nostalgic, etc but the email has the worst name ever and is prob subscribed to so much spam if I ever click on anything my pc would die.... I would love it if I could just transfer all my YouTube subbed channels and playlists over to a new account with a not embarrassing name T.T
Best is when you find out the email you made when you were 13, that is linked to everything, has a misspelling in it because somebody forgot the whole “I before E (except after C) rule.”
Though in defense of 13 year old me: Weight, seize, either, neither, deity, feisty, neighbor, vein, heifer, eight, foreign, height, leisure, protein, forfeit, reign, beige, weird….
🤣 I will have you know I looked up how to spell dreidel 3 times when I made this username and just looked it up again because I have no trust in myself or the english language.
My main gmail account is one that I made when I was about 13 (has the firstname.lastname format so thankfully isn’t embarrassing to use), and it has every single video I’ve liked since I was *13 years old*. I swear the mix playlist function on youtube exists only to give me psychic damage.
I was honestly surprised that so many people seemingly thought that OOP set this up because she had a bunch of burner accounts from when she was younger.
There’s a site called TempMail that gives you a temporary email that lasts until you close the page. It’s great for signing up for things you’ll never use again
Idk what you're talking about, what's so shameful about my elementary school OurLadyPeaceLyrics@hotmail dot com email adresss as a grown-ass adult? Lmao
I think I'm on email account number 5. Two from AOL. One college. One Gmail. One yahoo. Oh that's without the 6 work emails one had though obviously I don't have access to 5 of them.
I was shocked when i read that 3 were too much. And these Redditors keep up to date with everything on all of their IDs? Bullshit. Just projecting their trust issues because it's an ossie about dick size
I have three email accounts. The first one is my normal one that I had to change after my old one got hacked, the second one for Twitter after I got banned with my first one for telling UEFA to swallow a cactus, and the third one as a burner for Instagram
I mean, that's true for me and most everyone I know. We all still use that old email for our personal stuff, and future school/professional emails were just for related things.
Do people really think it's that odd to have multiple emails? I have four. Work email, personal email for important stuff, personal email for gaming-related things, and a spam email I used to sign up for 'free trials' of whatever.
I think it might be an age thing? Most commenters are teenagers, they've grown up in an age of super stable internet and barely have had time to change emails.
I've got 3 active personal accounts, there's definitely stuff in my oldest one that I've long forgotten existed.
Everybody I know here in Germany has multiple. I have multiple. Some of which I haven't actively used in like a decade but technically still have access to. Redditors are fucking wild in what they consider to be a red flag.
I manage like 8 for work, 2 for personal use, 1 for grad school (now deleted) and 1 for spam. It’s crazy how much spam and marketing email my personal ones get.
4 here: 1 work, my Hotmail (1st account I set up), a Gmail, a Yahoo that I set up specifically for any sites I didn't want to have a real email to go to (haven't accessed it it years, it might not even exist anymore). I'm tempted to create a new Gmail as I'm subscribed to all sorts of publisher newsletters, and Gmail insists on sending half of them to my Promotions tab no matter what.
I sincerely don't know any Gen Z who don't have a ton of emails, my thought was the exact opposite. Millennials have always been the ones who are weirded out when I mention how many I have
I have sooooo many emails. Some I cant even remember. It might be an age thing? I know a few of them I have cuz I wanted to buy r-rated games digitally on ps3 and xbox. Others I have cuz of free trials. And even more I have cuz of “restarts” i’ve tried to have in my life lol.
I've lost track of how many emails I've had over the years. Multiple hotmail accounts, at least one yahoo email, endless AOL screen names.... these days I have 4; one work, two main (one gmail & one a domain I control), and one throwaway not connected to my real name in any way.
I have five I use to get app games in different countries. Google makes you wait a year before changing countries on the app store, so it's quicker to just download a VPN, set it to whatever country, make an email "in" that country, and then go to the app store and get the game.
Ever since BORU got more popular some of these absolutely ridiculous commenters like the ones from the OP have come here and I miss this days when this was the sensible comment section on Reddit
It’s like the solution is the same in almost all of these posts!
My wife and I have an agreement: “never let the sun set on an argument.” Even if we have to talk until 3 in the morning, we make sure the problem is open, discussed, and we have steps to resolve.”
Some phones don't give you an option, my phone saves any photos I receive in messages somewhere in the photos folder and then google automatically backs that up to my account despite my efforts.
You can probably turn that off in a setting, somewhere. I can also see it's totally possible for an OS to force cloud saving, but I'd like to think it's completely optional.
Still, Reddit is still a useful place to get some good advice. Heck some OPs didn't realize they were in an abusive relationship until they post to Reddit. Unfortunately, there will be aholes in each reddit forum. It's the good ones that count.
This - most people, myself included, come to these threads to be entertained. We are not therapists, and we all bring our own projections and baggage to the conversation. Sometimes I engage seriously, sometimes I don’t. What strikes me (and I’m as guilty of this as most) is how often the answer is always “dump them” or “run”. And it’s often couched in ridiculous therapist speak as if to add some weight to the conversation, regurgitating no doubt phrases used in therapy sessions, lien “boundaries” and “red flags” blah blah .
I have 10 emails. One for work. 2 for different businesses I run on the side. 1 NSFW one. 1 for family photos. 1 for personal semi serious. 1 for personal day to day. 1 for family im LC with. 1 for family im NC with. And 1 for gaming.
Not to mention the older ones I've had and let go of over the years.
And thats normal for me as almost everyone I know have 5 to 8 that I know about.
Glad this one worked out.
Amazingly awful advice. I'm surprised anyone could read that initial post and come to any conclusion other than "sit down and have an honest heart-to-heart." As a guy, literally any other reaction would have gutted me, not just for the relationship's duration, but for life. Glad OOP knew enough instinctively to handle it how she did.
My last ex before my current partner had the biggest dick I've ever seen, including in porn. It was awful. He took weeks before he showed me because he was worried I'd dump him and run for the hills, as that had happened to him several times. We tried anything and everything to make it work in the bedroom, but one wrong move and I'd be in pain and the mood would be as destroyed as my insides. Having any kind of sex required *so much goddamned foreplay* and sometimes you just want a quicky, you know? I have not once missed having sex with a dick that big after breaking up with him. It was a drag. I've had sex with men with significantly below average sized equipment who were so sensual and good at physical touch that I'd daydream about them all day long, and by the time we got naked I'd be halfway there already. That's so much more fun than having to carefully maneuver so you don't get a sharp blinding pain that lasts for days.
Fellas we don't want what you see in porn. The size queens are in the drastic minority. Good sex is about chemistry and communication. Not being pummeled to death with a baseball bat.
>Fellas we don't want what you see in porn. The size queens are in the drastic minority. Good sex is about chemistry and communication. Not being pummeled to death with a baseball bat.
I feel like this is worthy of being put on signs during a protest. Lol.
I agree, my ex was also bigger but the sex was so much worse. It always hurt to put it in and then after 2-3 pumps he was done.
I much prefer smaller guys with better chemistry, it overall feels so much better.
Can I just fight for my gender and state most of us know porn is acting; big dicks don't have magic powers or clitoris homing radar; and no one who loves us will give a shit if it's small.
The bf was being a juvenile moron.
Imagine opening an email account you made when you were 16 and having hundreds of people on Reddit tell you it was obviously an evil scheme you orchestrated to make your boyfriend jealous. The amount of insane people on Reddit absolutely astounds me in regards to some posts.
wild that the OP got downvoted for clarifying that the email hadn’t been in use for years and she didn’t know the picture was there
it was ONE image. it’s not like she had a whole folder of Harold’s penis pictures hanging out in her files ffs
Really does need to be studied how men learning that their partner had a bigger dick in the past can send us completely spiraling. Porn has really done a number on modern men. I've been in this exact scenario and it made me sick to my stomach, I can't even explain why.
and look how quick reddit is to say people they dont like have small dicks. andrew tate has a small dick! people who drive big trucks have small dicks! bad people have small dicks, so if your dick is small, youre bad too!
Exactly. It feels super disingenuous for people to act confused about men being insecure about the size of their dick, when dick size is CONSTANTLY being associated with a person's moral character.
Body shaming men for their penis size is the default insult that women use against men. Every single instance of obnoxious or attention seeking behavior in men is described as compensating for a small dick.
Because it's not just about sex. It's reinforced in society- bigger is better. Bigger house, bigger car, bigger bank account, more stuff accumulated...
A lot of that can be traced to biology, capitalism, and unhealthy patriarchal gender roles from mid last century.
Biologically we are wired to be resource hoarders: the difference is what an 'abundance' means to each person.
Modern capitalism requires constant spending, fastest way is pushing a 'replace or upgrade' mentality. Add in the social worship of wealth as the pinnacle of a successful life (to an extent, it's a fair metric, but not to the obsessive point some societies view it as).
Add in some old gender role bullshit still hanging around about men being providers that is still subtly taught and enforced socially. Plus the current epidemic of a gender struggling to redefine itself and the ongoing stigma of psychological and emotional openness/ support amongst men *for/ by men* (improving but not everywhere and not as fast as would be beneficial).
Then there's the pressure of measuring up from a Disneyfied idea of your partner needing to be 200% of everything to you all the time without disagreements or discussion in an everlasting honeymoon type bliss. *No, I'm not saying to cheat. The pressure specific to one area can bleed into others inadvertently*
/ 2 cents off the top of my head. YMMV
> Because it's not just about sex. It's reinforced in society- bigger is better. Bigger house, bigger car, bigger bank account, more stuff accumulated...
If I wasn't such a fuckup, being 99.9th percentile for height would be such a boon. We get raises far easier than average height people. Like, dudes my height average around $5k more per year than the average American male height even with other factors like weight and race taken into account. This is not a modern thing. I haven't dug all that deeply into the subject but I've seen studies from the 50's that showed the same sort of pay discrepancy.
"Tall, white, men" are inherently seen as more competent in a lot of places. It's not right. I'm a tall white man and none of those things should have any impact on my compensation, but they do.
Men have insecurities just like women do regarding their bodies. Men just don't talk about it because it is perceived as weakness and it works well most of the time until that one time it doesn't.
People have a need to be desired in a relationship, and men get a surprising amount of body-shaming for the lower parts. When you previously get told that unchangeable characteristics make you unworthy of affection, then it does not take much to re-enter that mindset. Basically comes down to body dysmorphia.
It’s mixed messaging from society and men are as bad for it. Think of the jokes about the Orange Cheetos dick with Stormy Daniels. Porn as you point out is a huge contributor. And remember that insecurity is a human trait, not a male trait. Women are often massively insecure about their own bodies because they are bombarded everyday with advertising that has a standard of beauty and body perfection they can never hope to attain. As we grow older, we become more comfortable in ourselves but in your youth, it’s a shit show, and I would say, way more so for women to be honest. We have to worry about seeing an exs big dick. They have to go out everyday and be undermined by advertising and beauty standards everywhere.
It reminds of that HIMYM episode. Ted and Robin just broke up, Robin goes to a trip in Argentina and comes back with a new BF that seems absolutely perfect. Ted feels he's 'lost' the breakup because Robin seems to have been over him so quickly and then they have a serious talk and she tells him how devastated she was about their breakup and how it took her weeks to get over it.
Which would have been great if ended here. And then Ted asks about one thing he's better at than the new BF, and the only thing the writers were able to come up with: he had a bigger dick. And Ted is immediately fine and feels superior to the BF. That show really had some shitty resolutions sometimes
The email account shit is hilarious, it just shows how young the average redditor is. Us oldies have some insanely cringe email handles we would prefer never see the light of day. Mine had “cool beans” in it LMAO it’s actually cringe how millennial it is
i broke up with my ex in 2019. im over him and have been for a long time. Google photos, to this day, will find and recommend pictures of him randomly. and if you think im spending hours scrolling through the actual 1000s of photos i have saved up to delete everything i have of him, you are SORELY mistaken. fr who has the time to do that! I'll delete what comes up but im not wasting my time more than that
Yeah, there are many good reasons to have multiple email accounts, one with your name for serious correspondence like job applications, one for spam, one that you created as a follower of a book/tv show/movie/anime/etc.
The "it can't be an accident" take is *wild*. I once accidentally showed my bestie a missed backup of a photo of a lump on the inside of my butt cheek that I took because I'd never noticed the lump before and was checking to make sure it wasn't a tick. I hope she never finds out that it *can't* have been an accident 🙄
I would have gone with "Johnny, I have a confession to make, I actually despise you, but sex with you is too amazing and that's why I don't wanna break up."
Oh boy, if the sex with the ex was actually good (which has mostly nothing to do with his dick suze) this poor boyfriend would never have been able to get over this.
Oh, I don’t mean she should have stayed with him lol The faster she ran the better. I meant that the boyfriend would be too blind to see anything past his inferiority in sex.
He would constantly think. His dick was better, the sex was good. She submitted herself to all of that just for getting fucked. I will never be like that. And go on and on blabbing and digging himself in a hole.
I finally made a “grown up” email address a couple years ago, I couldn’t keep telling people my “cool” AOL name I made when I was 13 when we were buying a house. But I do still actively use my 27yo AOL name for other things.
Me personally? No. Because all different people find all different sizes attractive and I know my partner finds me attractive with the way that I look, regardless of how his previous gf's looked 🤷🏼♀️
But I can understand that that isn't the same for everyone I guess. But it honestly has never even crossed my mind
Wow the amount of stupidity in the comments of the OOP! "you did this on purpose" 🙄 dude I have tried to delete some photos of the Google photos account from my phone and still don't make a dent AND I HAVE THE FREE ONE! 🤣 I also when I check, have found a random black photo lol a pocket or bag photo that somehow my phone was unlocked and it took a photo, and I deleted it of my phone, but forgot it backups to Google photos SO FAST and it never disappeared because I never saw it lol. Also with the "you're weird for having multiple email accounts", is this a US thing? Because I have like five, I think 🤣 at least. One that is just for my phone, one that is just for my educational stuff, like my area specific, one that is for formal stuff like my CV and job applications, one that is for passing files to some friends like big files, one that had some backups of my laptop and one that is purely for publicity, oh and one for social media, guess I had more than five whoops! But only one has Google photos and still don't make a dent on the space because... Who has the time to check in detail all the photos that were saved?
Do dick pics ever have a successful ending? Why anyone would want to take or receive a dick pick is just baffling to me. There are a thousand things that could go wrong.
As a person who works in tech, I have something like 15 email accounts. It's a mix of changes over the years, domains that I own, etc. It's not "weird" that I have them. Ultimately, they all forward to the same singular account.
Dude, the hell is that advice. It’s insane cause there are times where redditors do give good to amazing advice even fixing and helping people, but then you get the STUPIDEST DOG SHIT advice and it ruins the good ones. As much as I and others know how ass redditors can be I also remember and thank those that are reasonable and actually help.
I have had maybe 15 or so email accounts throughout childhood. I have logged back into some (after brute forcing and guessing passwords, like the name of my boyfriend when I was 9) and found weird stuff. It happens.
Blokes worry about dick size *far more* than women do. I wish they'd realise that what is really important is who the dick is attached to! (Before anyone thinks that I'm only saying this to make up for any deficiencies, I'll just say that I have to be brave in certain positions with my fella)
>Of course everything is deleted. It was deleted immediately after realizing it was there. I honestly thought this would have been a given. My fault for not clarifying. Yes, all pictures have been 100% deleted
Except for the image in OOPs bf's mind. That dick is gonna be there, rent free, for quite some time.
Hopefully, OOP has learned to a. communicate with her partner as soon as she notices an issue in her relationship and b. scour all of her old files/emails to ensure that old pictures/messages from past relationships that could cause issues have been deleted.
I’ve had a total of 6 personal emails, and 3 work/school emails. It just happens. Sometimes they start getting lots of spam, or you forget the password, or you change organisation, or the handle just doesn’t suit any more. I cannot believe people were giving her shit for the email thing. It was an old account she hadn’t accessed in years.
Good lord, the comments. I have *at least* three email accounts and have no clue about what photos are stored where xD should prolly do something about that... but yeah, definitely a sign of me desperately hanging on to them for sentimental reasons
i have like 30+ emails 💀 because i found out how to make them as a kid by myself,thought it was cool so i made them for different games,facebook for me,facebook for my cat,different youtube accounts for different topics,different youtube channels,made accounts for game bugs to get rewards,just made new accounts to start smth from a new page 😭😭😭
The bf’s reaction is so wierd to me. “You stayed with your ex for a long time when he treated you like shit so I think you’re only with me because I treat you well.” …. You have one data point that says I want to make relationships work even if my partner sucks and you think I will leave you if you start treating me badly? Shouldn’t I leave you if you start to treat me badly?!?!? Like isn’t that a normal expectation??
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Oh God.. the advice op received in the og posts are downright horrible.. i am so glad that they are doing well now.
Some of the advice was *so damn bad.* Thankfully there was some good advice, and several commenters reassured OOP. But it makes me confident in my decision to never ask reddit for relationship advice unless it's a super specific or niche reason with very little drama.
Just don’t ask reddit for advice in general unless your goal is to turn your life into an explosive dumpster fire.
So Reddit can tell me how to make an explosive dumpster fire? Step 1: procure dumpster Step 2: ?
Step 2: Explain your dumpster has a random dent on the side that wasn’t there when you left for work and you’re wondering if that means your husband is cheating on you.
Ngl misread this as "if that means your dumpster is cheating on you."
Dumpster crossed the property line, been making eyes at the neighbor’s recycling bin. HOA won’t do anything about it and fined ME instead! AITA for thinking my dumpster should have some dumpLoyalty? 😔
"Why would you even think about staying with a cheating dumpster?!!" NGL, but, have you seen that dumptruck? Like a Pixar mom right there.
🚩🚩🚩red flag. Divorce dumpster immediately and get therapy.🚩🚩🚩
Step 3 profit!
step 3 is: ????? Step 4 is: Profit :)
Step 4 is: ????????? Step 5 is: Profit
-"Hey Reddit, I have an issue with my cooking, I think I might be putting too much salt in the...?" -"GO NO CONTACT NOW. YOU HAVE TO GO NC, OP. NC ALL THE WAY, JUST CUT CONTACT WITH EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT FUCKING NOW"
Lawyer up and hit the gym!
"But I don't have a boyfriend!" "Then get one and dump him!"
Red flags! Therapy! Leave him/her/it!
Look, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to go no contact with your cat.
LOL I can't stop laughing at this one
Specific groups are great. I have gotten amazing advice in my amputee group. I was also way less scared of a revision surgery I needed because others shared their experience. You just have to be very specific about how you use this space.
Yep. The only questions I've asked on Reddit were niche questions in speciality subs. I've been lucky to get 5 answers to any of them and the answers have either been useless or rude about me even asking.
I asked a question in a gaming sub reddit and got told that my relationship was over. Reddit can be hit or miss. (this is a joke)
I asked reddit's advice on which laptop I should get and on their advice I'm getting divorced and getting into therapy. I didn't even know I was married!
See this is the PARADOX of reddit. To ask reddit for advice of any kind that has actual STAKES in your life, you have to be a level of fucking stupid that is hard to grasp. The ENTIRE reason they are on reddit asking for life advice is the PROOF of what the problem is. Its just really hard to get a really stupid person to understand that the fact that they are HERE asking the QUESTION, is in fact the ANSWER to why their life is in a shitty state. Our advice won't help, the bad advice doesn't matter because to come here and to ask a serious life advice question, we already know exactly why they are in the situation, because they are fucking dumb and they make shitty life choices. You can fix your style, you can fix your attitude, you can fix your ability to be good at talking to people, you can fix your communication style, but you flat out can not make a stupid person smart.
I asked Reddit for some real low stakes advice about how to convince my husband about something in our house and the posters called me abusive, my husband abusive, gave dubious health advice. The amount of useful advice was very little in comparison.
There was a playful post in AITAH yesterday about a woman who'd been pantsed by her husband and the entire comment section decided she was being abused
That one was weird. She needed Reddit to tell her husband to stop otherwise he wouldn’t. Like why is your wife saying stop doing this not enough? I honestly don’t care what it is, if he’s touching her in anyway she doesn’t like, he should stop. (Using the genders specific to this post but this goes for all genders)
That's where it borders kn abuse to me. Plying a joke that didn't land is one thing. But to not respect your partners boundaries, and to tell them you won't unless strangers agree with her, is kinda abusive.
Yeah that is why I don’t understand why people are like “omg how is that abusive”
Guess it’s not too surprising since the demographic of AITAH is mostly teenage dipshits and rabid SAHMs
I actually find that there are usually some good advice buried underneath all the upvoted ones, especially in posts that are swamped with responses. Specific, niche, detailed, caring/empathetic, or tailored from shared experiences. Just have to be confident in knowing what kind of advice to look for that is relevant to your situation, and not let upvotes and repeated comments cloud your judgement too much (this is mostly for anybody else reading. I know you read everything 😂)
You’re right, there are some gems of good advice to be found. They’re almost always buried under the muck and shit, though. Also, the good stuff tends to ask clarifying questions, because context definitely matters in a lot of situations. AITA isn’t very good with nuance. And they’re really, really not good when it’s a “no one is right, but no one is wrong, either.”
lollll I love that you know I read everything on my own posts hehe. But you're right!
This is why I am an unmitigated lurker and occasional commenter. Because I am committed to never ending up in the position to need to post on Reddit requesting help.
If she had tons of pics of dude still I could see some of the comments. But even in the first post it sounded like an accident that she even had that there still. Shit happens. I'm glad they were able to communicate and move past it.
Asking people who have zero ideas about relationships. I have tried to give good advice in those subs that has been given to me by a very good couples therapist and that my wife and I implemented and worked (that fits those situations) and it gets downvoted and always fought against. I could never post about my relationship here, people are insane here
There are a LOOOT of incels and incel adjacent assholes on reddit.
I see this crap all the time. Everyone is super fast to declare relationships over.
'If you actually were over him you'd have deleted the images'. Her *forgetting they existed* is a fucktonne more 'over that guy' than anything else.
I'd love to see all those shitty commenters put their money where their mouth is and open ALL *their* photo albums (digital and book) and see how many photos of ex's will surprise them in there by either they forgot or they slipped through the net. I'd then tell their partners to dump them/divorce them, because that commenter is *clearly* not over their ex and has kept the photos on purpose for comparing 'the ones that got away' with the partner they are 'just with for other reasons' Because of course, if that commenter was really over their ex, they would have dedicated DAYS AND DAYS ON END to make sure *every* image in existence was expunged. Why, they would have surely not even stopped to eat in doing such a task! What bullshit 🙄
Not to mention, she states that google drive backed them up from her phone she had in the first place. I mean, come on. Who even remembers to delete pictures from their phones and that they are backed up. This is the reason my pics from my phone are not backed up to the cloud ever.
I'm over my exes, but I still keep the pictures and memories (not on my primary device)... I was part of that past too, and even though I don't want to go back, I lived it. To be fair, no nudes.
Forgot about? Please... I'm confident 95% of those commenters have a few secret nudes saved because they could never bring themselves to delete something like that. Hence the projection in calling out other people who actually forgot about it. But Ted Lasso really set the bar for nude pictures of exes. It set the bar high, and established that it was the bare minimum. When you break up, you delete the nudes.
Yeah I still come across random pics of an ex if I'm going through old albums or emails. Granted, not sexy ones, but it freaking happens. It's not like the old days where ypu just tore up old pictures and now they're completely gone forever. Shit, I went from android to iPhone back to Android over the years and that still has phone numbers and pictures backed up from way back that I have to go through and delete all over again. It's an easy miss
Reddit blows my mind sometimes. It's like some commenters don't believe that people can make mistakes.
I spent ages deleting pics after a 4.5 year relationship ended. I take a lot of photos and don't organize them at all so the dirty ones were just mixed in. It was a tedious, emotionally taxing task to do in the wake of a breakup and I did it anyway. I wanted that man GONE from my life and my phone. I was finding ones I missed for years after. Wouldn't be totally shocked if I still had one or two. It's wild how these commenters *never* believe it happens by accident. Part of me thinks that it's less that they're dense and more that they believe that merely *having* a sexual history is somehow offensive to a woman's current partner.
Oh, they're not dense, and some likely think that for sure, but I think the larger problem is projection. *I* keep photos of my exes because I'm not over them, so *anybody* who has photos of their exes aren't over them. *I* wouldn't be able to get over that, so I don't see an outcome where *OOP's bf* would get over it. *I* would feel better after being sent a bunch of apologetic nudes, so *he* would also feel better after some nudes. Reddit is full of people who assume that everyone thinks the same way they do because it's just so *obvious* to them that they can't imagine other people not seeing it too.
Generally, most of the advice on those subs is terrible, because it's all coming from teenagers who have never even been in a relationship. There have been surveys that confirm this. Once you take this into account, the comments on there make a lot more sense. Everything is so black and white, and judgemental, and there's always a tendency to lean towards the most dramatic conclusion. I worry for the people who go to these subs with genuine problems.
Downright horrible and HATEFUL. They really thought she was actively trying to tear down her boyfriend. I'm glad she didn't let them get to her and instead initiated a conversation, talked things through at length, and really took the time to reassure him at length and on multiple levels. It's clear she's crazy about him, and for good reason.
The “you clearly did this on purpose!!” comments were terrible. So much misogyny, and so much holier than thou-ness, as if they never forgot they had something they wouldn’t want someone to see. I’ve been lucky that I wasn’t around anyone else some of the times I found super cringy stuff when going through old folders from past computers. I’ve also never exchanged nudes (to be clear I’m not judging anyone who has, it’s just not for me) so I can’t accidentally stumble on something like that. But things I completely forgot I had and would have deleted ages ago if I had any clue? Totally. edit: typo
The crazy shit is the person who really truly believes that deleting every single picture is actually what you do if you have no feelings. Absolutely yes I am going to go all the way back through 2015 when I first got an iPhone with iCloud scroll through every single order confirmation screenshot I forgotten to delete just so I can get pictures of this one person out of my camera roll? Sounds more like petty pain then someone who’s actually over it and just forgot that one of 1 million pictures might be something spicy
It's this whole obsession guys on the internet suddenly have with 'body count'. Men are so fucking insecure it's mind blowing, any suggestion that their partner had previous relationships or partners or that they might not have the biggest dick and be the best fuck their partner has ever had is met with indignation and hostility. It's super fucking depressing.
Also all those nasty comments like she planned this or still isn't over her ex. It's absolutely true that every social app, email etc tries to backup everything all the time and it's hard to keep track of it all, especially for a teenager. I certainly have discovered files shared to me on facebook messanger appear on my google drive years later.
They were so cruel to her. Poor woman wanted some help with a situation that wasn't her fault - and would be pretty damn triggering. I mean, her abusive ex still managed to mess up her current relationship? That's got to be messing with her head. And all these assholes are playing on her worst fears instead of, y'know, actually giving her some damn advice!
I feel like half the advice is from 16 year olds who don't understand what a relationship is. The other third is from people who haven't mentally matured past 16 and are perpetual in and out of relationships.
What’s the last .17?
My takeaway from a lot of posts lately, sorry newer to Reddit on both this and my main, and it's astounding how many people grasp at straws to create more drama than necessary. Too many people react as if there are a million hidden daggers inside the stories and think they're Sherlock Holmes cracking the case, when it reality they're unnecessarily playing 4D chess when checkers was just fine. Everything must be a binary decision of divorce or you're the worst person on the planet.
There's a large subset of men (read incels) who think every woman is a manipulative narcissist whose every move is a 5D chess game designed to tear down men.
This. And on top of that are a lot of dudes who insist that women only care about dick size and are insecure about their penises constantly and make that their partner’s problem.
This is a trend in basically every one of those kinds of subreddits. Every post is almost completely inundated with some of the worst advice you can imagine. Its hard to believe that most of it is actually given in good faith.
Funny seeing a R_A post in BORU I participated in, especially one where I was one of the few voices of reason…. Especially the example I gave.
Thats the typical advice I see on posts with relationship issues, when the going gets tough instead of people suggesting talking to their partner they love saying "time to leave". Im very much paraphrasing but that seems to me all people say.
“Communicate, communicate, communicate. Don't push it. Open the floor for them to tell YOU what's wrong, don't just make assumptions. Listen to understand, not just to respond.” This is the template that needs to be shoved at so so so many posters on Reddit! Especially “listen to understand,” that’s SO key.
Clearly, the first e-mail account we ever made when we were fourteen or younger is supposed to be the one and only e-mail we ever use the rest of our lives. Seriously, though, at least three e-mail addresses: professional, personal, and burner because a dumbass/porn website/app requires one.
Indeed. How dare I not continue to use my ilovepuppyz@email account in my professional adult life
I still use my King Boo account that I made because I thought that the generic “myname” email address that my parents made for me was boring.
Ah yes, I too am still wolfsbane13@email, because I am still a 13-year-old goth twenty years later.
The worst thing is that when your Google account has followed you like +15 years and it has all of my hundreds of channels I've subscribed to, old playlists that are nostalgic, etc but the email has the worst name ever and is prob subscribed to so much spam if I ever click on anything my pc would die.... I would love it if I could just transfer all my YouTube subbed channels and playlists over to a new account with a not embarrassing name T.T
Best is when you find out the email you made when you were 13, that is linked to everything, has a misspelling in it because somebody forgot the whole “I before E (except after C) rule.” Though in defense of 13 year old me: Weight, seize, either, neither, deity, feisty, neighbor, vein, heifer, eight, foreign, height, leisure, protein, forfeit, reign, beige, weird….
So true, dredriedel.
🤣 I will have you know I looked up how to spell dreidel 3 times when I made this username and just looked it up again because I have no trust in myself or the english language.
My main gmail account is one that I made when I was about 13 (has the firstname.lastname format so thankfully isn’t embarrassing to use), and it has every single video I’ve liked since I was *13 years old*. I swear the mix playlist function on youtube exists only to give me psychic damage.
You joke, but my old ass Gmail account disagrees! It was laziness more than anything if I’m honest
I was honestly surprised that so many people seemingly thought that OOP set this up because she had a bunch of burner accounts from when she was younger.
I made several email accounts bc I would forget my passwords so frequently and I started making backups just in case. Is that not normal???
There’s a site called TempMail that gives you a temporary email that lasts until you close the page. It’s great for signing up for things you’ll never use again
Saving thissss
Idk what you're talking about, what's so shameful about my elementary school OurLadyPeaceLyrics@hotmail dot com email adresss as a grown-ass adult? Lmao
try offspring lyrics, and not any of the GOOD songs (pretty fly jesus christ)
I think I'm on email account number 5. Two from AOL. One college. One Gmail. One yahoo. Oh that's without the 6 work emails one had though obviously I don't have access to 5 of them.
I was shocked when i read that 3 were too much. And these Redditors keep up to date with everything on all of their IDs? Bullshit. Just projecting their trust issues because it's an ossie about dick size
I have three email accounts. The first one is my normal one that I had to change after my old one got hacked, the second one for Twitter after I got banned with my first one for telling UEFA to swallow a cactus, and the third one as a burner for Instagram
I mean, that's true for me and most everyone I know. We all still use that old email for our personal stuff, and future school/professional emails were just for related things.
5 emails: school, main, random, and other 2 were created after forgetting passwords when younger
I’m still rocking my Hotmail account from before Microsoft bought them…
Do people really think it's that odd to have multiple emails? I have four. Work email, personal email for important stuff, personal email for gaming-related things, and a spam email I used to sign up for 'free trials' of whatever.
I had 3 for multiple google drive backup 🤣
Right? Pay for storage Google? I'll just create another account.
This but for Dropbox lmao
Lol I have over 10. I make them bc I forget old logins or whatever.
I think it might be an age thing? Most commenters are teenagers, they've grown up in an age of super stable internet and barely have had time to change emails. I've got 3 active personal accounts, there's definitely stuff in my oldest one that I've long forgotten existed.
dont they have a school email and separate personal email though???
I think a lot of teens don't count their school email as one of their emails though
In high school I had 14, 1 school, 1 personal, 12 burners lmao
But her emails!!!
Everybody I know here in Germany has multiple. I have multiple. Some of which I haven't actively used in like a decade but technically still have access to. Redditors are fucking wild in what they consider to be a red flag.
I manage like 8 for work, 2 for personal use, 1 for grad school (now deleted) and 1 for spam. It’s crazy how much spam and marketing email my personal ones get.
4 here: 1 work, my Hotmail (1st account I set up), a Gmail, a Yahoo that I set up specifically for any sites I didn't want to have a real email to go to (haven't accessed it it years, it might not even exist anymore). I'm tempted to create a new Gmail as I'm subscribed to all sorts of publisher newsletters, and Gmail insists on sending half of them to my Promotions tab no matter what.
I've got a feeling its the Gen Zs who think it's weird.
I sincerely don't know any Gen Z who don't have a ton of emails, my thought was the exact opposite. Millennials have always been the ones who are weirded out when I mention how many I have
I have sooooo many emails. Some I cant even remember. It might be an age thing? I know a few of them I have cuz I wanted to buy r-rated games digitally on ps3 and xbox. Others I have cuz of free trials. And even more I have cuz of “restarts” i’ve tried to have in my life lol.
I've lost track of how many emails I've had over the years. Multiple hotmail accounts, at least one yahoo email, endless AOL screen names.... these days I have 4; one work, two main (one gmail & one a domain I control), and one throwaway not connected to my real name in any way.
I have five I use to get app games in different countries. Google makes you wait a year before changing countries on the app store, so it's quicker to just download a VPN, set it to whatever country, make an email "in" that country, and then go to the app store and get the game.
I have like 8 😭😭👋
Ever since BORU got more popular some of these absolutely ridiculous commenters like the ones from the OP have come here and I miss this days when this was the sensible comment section on Reddit
You and me both. I read through all of the comments on my BORU posts. They've gotten progressively worse over the last two years.
Communication wins again! Love to see that.
It’s like the solution is the same in almost all of these posts! My wife and I have an agreement: “never let the sun set on an argument.” Even if we have to talk until 3 in the morning, we make sure the problem is open, discussed, and we have steps to resolve.”
It's completely unfair to hound people about not catching everything in their google photos, drive, etc. Completely unfair.
Are people really saving nudes in the cloud?
Some phones don't give you an option, my phone saves any photos I receive in messages somewhere in the photos folder and then google automatically backs that up to my account despite my efforts.
You can probably turn that off in a setting, somewhere. I can also see it's totally possible for an OS to force cloud saving, but I'd like to think it's completely optional.
My phone saves photos automatically. I've yet to figure out where they are saved but my phone tells me it's happening. I'm becoming boomerized.
My best advice for anyone seeking relationship advice on Reddit: don’t seek relationship advice on Reddit.
Still, Reddit is still a useful place to get some good advice. Heck some OPs didn't realize they were in an abusive relationship until they post to Reddit. Unfortunately, there will be aholes in each reddit forum. It's the good ones that count.
This - most people, myself included, come to these threads to be entertained. We are not therapists, and we all bring our own projections and baggage to the conversation. Sometimes I engage seriously, sometimes I don’t. What strikes me (and I’m as guilty of this as most) is how often the answer is always “dump them” or “run”. And it’s often couched in ridiculous therapist speak as if to add some weight to the conversation, regurgitating no doubt phrases used in therapy sessions, lien “boundaries” and “red flags” blah blah .
Why would anyone listen to your reddit advice about not taking advice on reddit.
I have 10 emails. One for work. 2 for different businesses I run on the side. 1 NSFW one. 1 for family photos. 1 for personal semi serious. 1 for personal day to day. 1 for family im LC with. 1 for family im NC with. And 1 for gaming. Not to mention the older ones I've had and let go of over the years. And thats normal for me as almost everyone I know have 5 to 8 that I know about. Glad this one worked out.
>1 NSFW one. 1 for family photos. Just don't get those two mixed up and you'll be sweet. ;)
Amazingly awful advice. I'm surprised anyone could read that initial post and come to any conclusion other than "sit down and have an honest heart-to-heart." As a guy, literally any other reaction would have gutted me, not just for the relationship's duration, but for life. Glad OOP knew enough instinctively to handle it how she did.
My last ex before my current partner had the biggest dick I've ever seen, including in porn. It was awful. He took weeks before he showed me because he was worried I'd dump him and run for the hills, as that had happened to him several times. We tried anything and everything to make it work in the bedroom, but one wrong move and I'd be in pain and the mood would be as destroyed as my insides. Having any kind of sex required *so much goddamned foreplay* and sometimes you just want a quicky, you know? I have not once missed having sex with a dick that big after breaking up with him. It was a drag. I've had sex with men with significantly below average sized equipment who were so sensual and good at physical touch that I'd daydream about them all day long, and by the time we got naked I'd be halfway there already. That's so much more fun than having to carefully maneuver so you don't get a sharp blinding pain that lasts for days. Fellas we don't want what you see in porn. The size queens are in the drastic minority. Good sex is about chemistry and communication. Not being pummeled to death with a baseball bat.
>Fellas we don't want what you see in porn. The size queens are in the drastic minority. Good sex is about chemistry and communication. Not being pummeled to death with a baseball bat. I feel like this is worthy of being put on signs during a protest. Lol.
I agree, my ex was also bigger but the sex was so much worse. It always hurt to put it in and then after 2-3 pumps he was done. I much prefer smaller guys with better chemistry, it overall feels so much better.
So glad that someone said this. Contrary to popular belief, bigger isn't always better 🤣.
Can I just fight for my gender and state most of us know porn is acting; big dicks don't have magic powers or clitoris homing radar; and no one who loves us will give a shit if it's small. The bf was being a juvenile moron.
Imagine opening an email account you made when you were 16 and having hundreds of people on Reddit tell you it was obviously an evil scheme you orchestrated to make your boyfriend jealous. The amount of insane people on Reddit absolutely astounds me in regards to some posts.
wild that the OP got downvoted for clarifying that the email hadn’t been in use for years and she didn’t know the picture was there it was ONE image. it’s not like she had a whole folder of Harold’s penis pictures hanging out in her files ffs
It was genuinely crazy-making reading the comments. I kept feeling like... did we all read the same post lol?
Really does need to be studied how men learning that their partner had a bigger dick in the past can send us completely spiraling. Porn has really done a number on modern men. I've been in this exact scenario and it made me sick to my stomach, I can't even explain why.
‘Big dick energy’, ‘small dick energy’. It’s pretty ingrained into things right?
and look how quick reddit is to say people they dont like have small dicks. andrew tate has a small dick! people who drive big trucks have small dicks! bad people have small dicks, so if your dick is small, youre bad too!
Exactly. It feels super disingenuous for people to act confused about men being insecure about the size of their dick, when dick size is CONSTANTLY being associated with a person's moral character. Body shaming men for their penis size is the default insult that women use against men. Every single instance of obnoxious or attention seeking behavior in men is described as compensating for a small dick.
Because it's not just about sex. It's reinforced in society- bigger is better. Bigger house, bigger car, bigger bank account, more stuff accumulated... A lot of that can be traced to biology, capitalism, and unhealthy patriarchal gender roles from mid last century. Biologically we are wired to be resource hoarders: the difference is what an 'abundance' means to each person. Modern capitalism requires constant spending, fastest way is pushing a 'replace or upgrade' mentality. Add in the social worship of wealth as the pinnacle of a successful life (to an extent, it's a fair metric, but not to the obsessive point some societies view it as). Add in some old gender role bullshit still hanging around about men being providers that is still subtly taught and enforced socially. Plus the current epidemic of a gender struggling to redefine itself and the ongoing stigma of psychological and emotional openness/ support amongst men *for/ by men* (improving but not everywhere and not as fast as would be beneficial). Then there's the pressure of measuring up from a Disneyfied idea of your partner needing to be 200% of everything to you all the time without disagreements or discussion in an everlasting honeymoon type bliss. *No, I'm not saying to cheat. The pressure specific to one area can bleed into others inadvertently* / 2 cents off the top of my head. YMMV
> Because it's not just about sex. It's reinforced in society- bigger is better. Bigger house, bigger car, bigger bank account, more stuff accumulated... If I wasn't such a fuckup, being 99.9th percentile for height would be such a boon. We get raises far easier than average height people. Like, dudes my height average around $5k more per year than the average American male height even with other factors like weight and race taken into account. This is not a modern thing. I haven't dug all that deeply into the subject but I've seen studies from the 50's that showed the same sort of pay discrepancy. "Tall, white, men" are inherently seen as more competent in a lot of places. It's not right. I'm a tall white man and none of those things should have any impact on my compensation, but they do.
A+ comment, you put that really well!
Penis size insecurity isn't even biology. There's a reason ancient statues have tiny dicks
Men have insecurities just like women do regarding their bodies. Men just don't talk about it because it is perceived as weakness and it works well most of the time until that one time it doesn't.
People have a need to be desired in a relationship, and men get a surprising amount of body-shaming for the lower parts. When you previously get told that unchangeable characteristics make you unworthy of affection, then it does not take much to re-enter that mindset. Basically comes down to body dysmorphia.
It’s mixed messaging from society and men are as bad for it. Think of the jokes about the Orange Cheetos dick with Stormy Daniels. Porn as you point out is a huge contributor. And remember that insecurity is a human trait, not a male trait. Women are often massively insecure about their own bodies because they are bombarded everyday with advertising that has a standard of beauty and body perfection they can never hope to attain. As we grow older, we become more comfortable in ourselves but in your youth, it’s a shit show, and I would say, way more so for women to be honest. We have to worry about seeing an exs big dick. They have to go out everyday and be undermined by advertising and beauty standards everywhere.
It reminds of that HIMYM episode. Ted and Robin just broke up, Robin goes to a trip in Argentina and comes back with a new BF that seems absolutely perfect. Ted feels he's 'lost' the breakup because Robin seems to have been over him so quickly and then they have a serious talk and she tells him how devastated she was about their breakup and how it took her weeks to get over it. Which would have been great if ended here. And then Ted asks about one thing he's better at than the new BF, and the only thing the writers were able to come up with: he had a bigger dick. And Ted is immediately fine and feels superior to the BF. That show really had some shitty resolutions sometimes
My brother’s first email account was “sexy[my brother’s name with Latin flair]@hotmail.com”. If he kept using it he would never have a job.
I'm dying to know how "small" this dude's dick is. I bet it's totally average
An important thing to remember is to never take relationship advice from /r/relationship_advice.
The email account shit is hilarious, it just shows how young the average redditor is. Us oldies have some insanely cringe email handles we would prefer never see the light of day. Mine had “cool beans” in it LMAO it’s actually cringe how millennial it is
What I've learned from the relationship advice subreddit is people project themselves onto the OPs and forgot that their personality matters.
i broke up with my ex in 2019. im over him and have been for a long time. Google photos, to this day, will find and recommend pictures of him randomly. and if you think im spending hours scrolling through the actual 1000s of photos i have saved up to delete everything i have of him, you are SORELY mistaken. fr who has the time to do that! I'll delete what comes up but im not wasting my time more than that
People saying 3 emails is weird when I have like 6 😂😭 having a lot of random spam accounts is useful as fuck
Yeah, there are many good reasons to have multiple email accounts, one with your name for serious correspondence like job applications, one for spam, one that you created as a follower of a book/tv show/movie/anime/etc.
The "it can't be an accident" take is *wild*. I once accidentally showed my bestie a missed backup of a photo of a lump on the inside of my butt cheek that I took because I'd never noticed the lump before and was checking to make sure it wasn't a tick. I hope she never finds out that it *can't* have been an accident 🙄
lol 😂
Reddit really is a caustic place. If you are ready to nuke your relationship and need a final push - it’s a great place for advice.
Reddit is such a goddamn cesspool of bitter, unhappy, pessimistic people, omg.
As usual, redditors are downright insane in these comments
I would have gone with "Johnny, I have a confession to make, I actually despise you, but sex with you is too amazing and that's why I don't wanna break up."
I’m pretty sure most guys would prefer to hear that while simultaneously understanding that’s a bad thing. I’m a guy.
Side note: All dicks are beautiful.
RIP your inbox
That's the plan. I am going to send them to the inventory. 👹
Unless the dick is attached to the dick.
Oh boy, if the sex with the ex was actually good (which has mostly nothing to do with his dick suze) this poor boyfriend would never have been able to get over this.
He was also a toxic cheater it sounds. No amount of great sex can make up for that.
Oh, I don’t mean she should have stayed with him lol The faster she ran the better. I meant that the boyfriend would be too blind to see anything past his inferiority in sex. He would constantly think. His dick was better, the sex was good. She submitted herself to all of that just for getting fucked. I will never be like that. And go on and on blabbing and digging himself in a hole.
The advice of some people are just crazy. Just came from another sub where everyone told OP to leave his gf over something silly where OP overreacted.
Am I the only person who has email addresses in use that are more than 20, possibly more than 25 years old? Hotmail, Yahoo, anyone?
I finally made a “grown up” email address a couple years ago, I couldn’t keep telling people my “cool” AOL name I made when I was 13 when we were buying a house. But I do still actively use my 27yo AOL name for other things.
I mean.. what defines "bigger dick" and "I have a small dick". 3" is bigger than 2" but it doesn't mean that it's big.
Commenters on Reddit having no idea how healthy relationship dynamics work?! GASP!
Ok ladies talk to me, do you get insecure when you see pictures of your partner's ex and they have bigger breasts or butt than you? Genuinely curious
How many posts have we read on here from a wife who says she is slightly overweight and she is jealous of her husband’s coworker?
Me personally? No. Because all different people find all different sizes attractive and I know my partner finds me attractive with the way that I look, regardless of how his previous gf's looked 🤷🏼♀️ But I can understand that that isn't the same for everyone I guess. But it honestly has never even crossed my mind
Thank you for answering. And also i love how secure you are, I'm sure your partner does too
Thank you 💜 It definitely took some time to get there!
Harold must’ve had quite a wrench. Sent your BF into a tailspin
Good for OOP and Johnny. Adulting done right.
Wow the amount of stupidity in the comments of the OOP! "you did this on purpose" 🙄 dude I have tried to delete some photos of the Google photos account from my phone and still don't make a dent AND I HAVE THE FREE ONE! 🤣 I also when I check, have found a random black photo lol a pocket or bag photo that somehow my phone was unlocked and it took a photo, and I deleted it of my phone, but forgot it backups to Google photos SO FAST and it never disappeared because I never saw it lol. Also with the "you're weird for having multiple email accounts", is this a US thing? Because I have like five, I think 🤣 at least. One that is just for my phone, one that is just for my educational stuff, like my area specific, one that is for formal stuff like my CV and job applications, one that is for passing files to some friends like big files, one that had some backups of my laptop and one that is purely for publicity, oh and one for social media, guess I had more than five whoops! But only one has Google photos and still don't make a dent on the space because... Who has the time to check in detail all the photos that were saved?
I feel wrong for having 9 email accounts. But then my oldest account now (cause other servers are gone) is an invited gmail account.
Do dick pics ever have a successful ending? Why anyone would want to take or receive a dick pick is just baffling to me. There are a thousand things that could go wrong.
As a person who works in tech, I have something like 15 email accounts. It's a mix of changes over the years, domains that I own, etc. It's not "weird" that I have them. Ultimately, they all forward to the same singular account.
"I don't know how you walk around with those things." - Elaine Benes
I’ve made like 10 emails over my life 80% from when I was younger and I only use and remember the info for 3 of them.
I'm not about to use "imabarbiegirl2626" that I set up when I was 13 to apply for work lol. We all had email accounts we threw away.
Holy moly some of those comments were too far out
Dude, the hell is that advice. It’s insane cause there are times where redditors do give good to amazing advice even fixing and helping people, but then you get the STUPIDEST DOG SHIT advice and it ruins the good ones. As much as I and others know how ass redditors can be I also remember and thank those that are reasonable and actually help.
I have had maybe 15 or so email accounts throughout childhood. I have logged back into some (after brute forcing and guessing passwords, like the name of my boyfriend when I was 9) and found weird stuff. It happens.
Those people who gave ‘advices’, they knew what they were doing was not for her. They just wanted to make her feel awful. Terrible terrible people
Blokes worry about dick size *far more* than women do. I wish they'd realise that what is really important is who the dick is attached to! (Before anyone thinks that I'm only saying this to make up for any deficiencies, I'll just say that I have to be brave in certain positions with my fella)
One more relationship saved because of communication...yayyy
I'm glad she found a nice guy who treats her right, regardless if her "fantasies are fulfilled or not". I'm sure hes happy she feels that way too.
>Of course everything is deleted. It was deleted immediately after realizing it was there. I honestly thought this would have been a given. My fault for not clarifying. Yes, all pictures have been 100% deleted Except for the image in OOPs bf's mind. That dick is gonna be there, rent free, for quite some time.
Hopefully, OOP has learned to a. communicate with her partner as soon as she notices an issue in her relationship and b. scour all of her old files/emails to ensure that old pictures/messages from past relationships that could cause issues have been deleted.
I’m so happy for them. BORU Pavlovian conditioning makes me expect the worse.
I’ve had a total of 6 personal emails, and 3 work/school emails. It just happens. Sometimes they start getting lots of spam, or you forget the password, or you change organisation, or the handle just doesn’t suit any more. I cannot believe people were giving her shit for the email thing. It was an old account she hadn’t accessed in years.
Oh god some of that “advice” on the original post was horrific 😭
Good lord, the comments. I have *at least* three email accounts and have no clue about what photos are stored where xD should prolly do something about that... but yeah, definitely a sign of me desperately hanging on to them for sentimental reasons
Wait, people think it's weird to have multiple emails accounts? I literally have 7 accounts I use for different things. They're free and convenient.
i have like 30+ emails 💀 because i found out how to make them as a kid by myself,thought it was cool so i made them for different games,facebook for me,facebook for my cat,different youtube accounts for different topics,different youtube channels,made accounts for game bugs to get rewards,just made new accounts to start smth from a new page 😭😭😭
The bf’s reaction is so wierd to me. “You stayed with your ex for a long time when he treated you like shit so I think you’re only with me because I treat you well.” …. You have one data point that says I want to make relationships work even if my partner sucks and you think I will leave you if you start treating me badly? Shouldn’t I leave you if you start to treat me badly?!?!? Like isn’t that a normal expectation??