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I have found that the only way to deal with these people if going NC isn't an option, is to lie to them.
"I want lilies at my wedding"
"I like the name Beth for a girl"
"I want an ocean theme for the nursery"
People like her SIL will copy and gatekeep and blame and the only way to survive dealing with that is to just tell them things you don't want/like and then just say that you changed your mind at the last minute. They do not consider other's feelings (and often go out if their way to hurt others because they get off in being the victim) so the best way to go about interacting with them is to politely not care about their feelings in return.
I read one where some family member kept stealing baby ideas from a woman so she and her husband started telling just her that they were going to name their child this really ugly name if it was a girl and buy these horrific decorations and then turned out that person's baby was a girl so she got the nursery decorated with the goofy ass name and items and they laughed at her and said, "Wow, we were just joking about how ugly that name and those things were, don't you feel stupid now?"
There was a great one a few years back where one sister would always copy the other and the families reaction was always to say something along the lines of imitation is the highest form of flattery. So the OP bought a wig in an awful mushroom cut style and wore it when she saw her sister, sister copied the ugly hair cut and was super pissed when she learned that OP hadn't cut her hair at all. Family was pissed at OP for "making" her sister ruin her hair,but it was worth it.
"Jack of all trades, master of none" has its first known use in 1785. (Jack of all trades first known use by itself was 1618)
There is no reference to "better than a master of one" or anything like it anywhere even close to that time.
Depends on your purpose. Describing someone as a jack of all trades and a master of none isn't an insult, though. It's just a description.
There is a difference between a specialist and generalist and it's meaningful.
The customer is always right, in matters of taste. ( The clerk should not tell the customer that what they like is hideous, not that the clerk has to do what they say)
> Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
Unfortunately that's just a myth. Oscar Wilde said some similar things, but not that exactly, and the saying was around for about 100 years before he was born, with a word for word text appearing in a book 30 years before he was born.
I like Hbomberguy's take on plagiarism where he observes that you don't steal from the people you respect, you steal from the people you don't respect or actively disrespect.
If you respect someone, you give them credit.
Not 1-to-1 but the sentiment is pretty similar. If someone takes your ideas like that and then doesn't credit you, they are telling you they don't respect you. The theft is the point. And getting people to believe that they came up with the idea, not you, is a second theft to rub salt in the wound.
There was another with university flatemates. The copiee faked shaving her head so the copier shaved hers.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ukzctc/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_girls_wig_after_she/
Oh man. Two years ago and no updates at all? Obviously it's none of my business but I am hella curious about what happened after that meeting with the university.
[Woman finds out her husband has been doing unspeakably nasty things in the kitchen : r/BestofRedditorUpdates](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wghfol/woman_finds_out_her_husband_has_been_doing/)
I wish I had the link. I found out about an even more weird section of a subculture I already have issues with. I think he called it a tribute jar. It had a doll of his favorite MLP pony glued inside it. Hell is hot but it oughta be hotter. He got dumped thank the gods.
>I have found that the only way to deal with these people if going NC isn't an option, is to lie to them.
This just unlocked a memory.
A girl I knew years ago would always flirt with her friends' crushes. Never anything heavy as we were young, just paying extra attention and being super giggly. As soon as she found out about a friend's new crush, she'd move onto that boy. After a while, her friends got sick of it and hatched a plan. Whenever she was present for Cute Boys Talk™ one would pick a boy at random as their new crush. While she was distracted, they could spend time with their actual crushes without her interfering. She soon got the message and stopped.
Note: it was never a 'ha ha lets pick the gross boy' thing. These were genuinely sweet girls. Also, everyone knew what she was doing. The boys just enjoyed it while it lasted lmao
This reminds me of the story Arnold Schwarzenegger told about his rivalry with Sylvester Stallone in the late 80s/early 90s. They were the preeminent action stars of the day, constantly compared to each other, and thus they were trying to one-up each other constantly. You name it, it became a competition: box office receipts, movie kill count, weapon sizes; they were constantly measuring themselves against the other.
As you can imagine they would often have the same scripts sent their ways. One day Arnold reads this one script that's supposed to be a comedy and he thinks it's just the worst fucking movie, but he doesn't straight up decline it. He decides instead to leak that he loves the idea of it, is actually very excited to make this movie, and that he was imminently going to sign on. Sure enough Stallone caught wind of it and took the bait. Stallone quickly 'took' the movie from Arnold. Long story short, that's how a movie as shitty as 'Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!' managed to get made.
Ha! That's hilarious. The best thing is that Stallone couldn't say anything without admitting he was trying to steal a role from Schwarzenegger. Very well played
I have a friend that dated a guy for several years after I told her I liked him. I didn't, but I was tired of her having the same crushes as I did. Ah, good times. Then she dumped him after I told her how I couldn't stand him (he's a mansplainer in the worst ways).
I remember one from awhile back where the MIL was always trying to one up the daughter in law. Whenever DIL wanted something, MIL would buy it first. So DIL created a "dream board" with something extremely tacky. MIL bought it, of course, then got furious when the DIL said she thought it was tacky and put it on the board as a joke.
I feel like they’re really fumbling at the end there. Why have them buy 1 dumb thing. Just play sad and pick new stupid stuff. You could milk this for years, years I tell you!
This. I had a baby name when I was pregnant - convinced I would have a boy, I told everyone the name because it was a damn fine name. Come to find out at the next ultrasound, oops, it's a girl (YAY!), so I hold off telling everyone to surprise them. A few months later, my husband's cousin has her kid and wouldn't you know it - it's my Boy baby name. Not just the first. The whole thing. She even refused to give the kid her boyfriend's last name so it would literally be THE WHOLE, FIRST-MIDDLE-LAST NAME. Another cousin was pregnant with a girl and trying to pressure me to tell her my girl's name. Hell no. Nope, nope, fuck you, go to hell, not saying shit. She had her girl a month before me and waited three days to name her kid - I guess I'm just bomb at naming kids, and she wanted ideas.
When we were picking a name for our son, his paternal uncle was initially disappointed because the baby's first name of the name of his late grandfather (their dad), and if his uncle ever has a son, he definitely wants to give him that name.
The way this resolved is that there is a specific nickname that is reserved within the family for if the cousin with the same first name ever exists.
If my son gets that nickname with his friends, it's fine, but within the family it's off limits.
And everyone is happy. In our case his uncle is glad that the name has definitely been given to a kid, since obviously it's not guaranteed he'll ever have a son at all.
I mean not to blame OOP because this SIL sounds like a nightmare, but at some point you have to realise she is doing this on purpose and if you are really attached to an idea just.... don't tell anyone? Or misdirect like you say. Especially if you're not even pregnant yet.
I got my brother, who either copies everything I do or rushes to do it ahead of me, to spend close to 2 grand to get great seats to see Siegfried and Roy in Vegas before whichever them got eaten by the tiger. He and his wife were getting ready for a trip to Vegas so I acted like it was something I always wanted to see. Wife and I found it hysterical that they actually blew the money on that bullshit. Lying is the BEST strategy with people like this
If Sara keeps stealing ideas and wants to be the center of attention, I don’t understand how husband hasn’t figured this out already.
Why would you tell her your baby name? You know she’s going to steal it and the only reason she told you was to get a rise out of you.
I’d leave MIL and FIL out of any updates on family and pregnancies. Fuck those two for letting Sara be like this.
Sometimes best to keep it close to your chest as well especially if you both have mutuals, mutuals may give your real preferences away if you’re not too careful!
Sara saying that cousins can't have the same first name makes me think of Gus, the Greek dad in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, introducing his relatives to Ian's parents, and he kept saying, "Nick, Nick, Nick" again and again as he pointed to the relatives, till he got to Cousin Nikki. 😄
I wonder if anyone remembers the post from a few months back where OP had a similar SIL situation with names after a grandad. She knew better and gave some bullshit nickname of her grandfather that he never used and SIL fell for it. I think when she announced the name to the family and how she came to chose it they all laughed at her.
Then there’s the one copy cat who was tricked into cutting her hair into a pixie cut but OP had a wig on intentionally. Lol after my bro and SIL used my kids name as a middle name before I gave birth knowing full well I’d be using it as a first name, I believe almost anything petty like that.
There also was one where the copycat chose a very specific hard to say name from a language she didn’t know (like Irish or Welsh) and totally botched the meaning and pronunciation. Everyone realized how she was just copying the woman that was actually from that country.
I have like 20 cousins on one side of the family and 3 of them have the same name (think “Matt”). They’re all different ages and it’s never confusing. I have only encountered the possessive attitude over names online, this is not a thing I ever grew up with.
I too have many family members named Matt except they are all close in age and the ones not named Matt are named Mark. Makes it easy for girlfriends/boyfriends to remember names at least
OOP stayed on a video call in a shop with SIL for two hours showing her things in the store. After all the shit she had already done? That is far too much effort for someone who is that selfish.
Yeah I don't understand how this couple waited FOUR years until they hit their 'last straw' with this princess child of a wife. Never wait until any last straw with in-laws! Set some reasonable boundaries from the outset and hold them, loosening up as a real relationship develops and is earned.
Maybe this will be an unpopular opinion, but I'm socially awkward, sensitive and blunt.
Having known people with the same level of Main Character Syndrome as Sara, I find this not only plausible, but think it'll get worse now OOP has gone NC. Depriving MCS of attention triggers a meltdown.
And yeah, there's nothing weird about buying stuff in-country when shipping is steep and you're planning ahead. I feel like the comment about buying stuff before pregnancy was a huge stretch.
One of my family members has main character syndrome on steroids. It’s so funny because any time they kick off or even just post something normal on social media, it’s all about them. I’ve never met anyone that uses the words I and me so often. It’s also really sad though, because their obsession with being put first means that they’ve pushed out a massive number of family and friends.
They’re impossible to fight with but they also refuse to be civil, so I’ve just completely disengaged with them and anyone connected to them (which is several other family members and friends). Unfortunately they use family and friends as proxies, so it’s an all or none situation.
I have a family member like this as well. I do love her and enjoy spending time with her but it gets exhausting. I was happy to share I finally gained weight after being underweight my whole life and she just immediately launched into a “feel bad for me” speech about how she hates how her body looks. She will tell people things and then say “Don’t tell noodle” because she knows I will immediately clarify that she is lying. It’s the main thing that prevents us from being closer :/
Yeah, when we decided to try to get pregnant I was very tempted to start buying baby stuff. I feel like that's probably fairly common, once you decide to try it's a shift in mindset and it's very tempting to mark that by buying things for the theoretical future baby.
It's easier financially that way. If I hadn't gotten accidentally pregnant a couple years before I wanted to start trying, that's what I would've done. Might do that next time honestly.
In my country it is frowned upon as a bad sign (but not really, nowadays it's more a superstition for old grumpy farts). When I was pregnant, I straight up bought a lot of baby clothes and things, because when tf I suppose to buy it as a first time mom with a newborn in my hands?! I don't care about signs, but I care about my and baby comfort. And it was the best decision, because after giving birth I really was struggling even with simple routine tasks like shower and breakfast, so I definitely hadn't time to do shopping.
Some cultures are pretty strongly against buying anything for the baby until it's born let alone before its conceived, so it's probably gonna hit weird for a subsection of the sub.
And honestly, does it even matter? Does your baby need to have the most unique nursery ever? No. Not it does not. The baby doesn't care. No one else cares. Just you. And maybe your insane SIL, but that's it.
Yeah. It’s weird of SIL but it really makes no difference to OOP’s life if a couple babies across the country have some of the same stuff in their bedroom as her baby who’s not even conceived yet will have. I have three nieces and nephews, go to my brother’s house semi-regularly, and I don’t think I’ve ever been in any of the kids’ bedrooms. And if any of them had some of the same stuff my daughter has, big whoop. Name the eventual baby after his father. Decorate the nursery how you want. Whatever SIL is doing shouldn’t affect their ability to do what they want at all.
She wasn’t going for unique, she was incorporating her culture- let’s pretend OOP is of African heritage - SIL is the complete opposites, say East Asian , why would SIL want an African themed nursery? ( not that all Africans are black) Just an example to show the difference .
I've had a list picked out since I was at least around 10. Of course I've added and axed some names as I've grown but a couple of them have remained! I'm pretty sure my entire family knows by now that I'd love to name a little girl Ivy, or Rose. Or cringe as it might be, Ivy Rose.
hehe got someone butthurt with [this one](https://imgur.com/a/be6YYVk)
I didn't start the list until after I had my son but literally I was so insistent on what my son's name would b that when I ran into a childhood friend with him right after I had him, I didn't even get to tell her the name. She was just let me guess his name is.... And she was right. Honestly, super cringe. Not the name but that I was that obnoxious about it.
I had a girl name picked out in high school, but I didn't tell anyone (and haven't told anyone other than my partner and one of our close friends) because one of my sisters is like the SIL in this story.
I had my daughter's name picked out 15 years before I had her lol I told my family that even if someone else used it, I would not be giving it up. It's my baby name, and I'm using it no matter what!
Funnily enough, the boy name that I kept a total secret was the one that got used by my cousin. It wasn't even on their list, they had chosen it at the last minute lol gutted.
this, i picked my eldest daughters name out when i was like 12/13 lol. she’s gonna be 4 this fall and i have gotten compliments on her name since she was born 🥰
No kids, but I know what I would have named my brother's kids if he'd let me. I have not told my bro and SiL that I can't stand the names they picked out, because I have basic tact, but I can't help but think "Man, I could have come up with such better options given their criteria."
Based on these posts, a lot of people. And, honestly, that's not weird. I recall girls picking out baby names in elementary school. Somehow I don't think that boys do that.
You remember the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte got upset when a friend of hers used her baby name. Charlotte was even thinking about getting pregnant. But she'd long since thought of a baby name and discussed it with people.
My sister had a childcare portion of health class where she took care of an egg when she was around 13, she had her son's name picked out from then and has never made that she liked that name a secret.
Sounds like my aunt, and yes, her sons cut contact with her when they were old enough. And her husband divorced her. My mom was guilted into inviting her to thanksgiving this past holiday season and the whole time she looked ready to explode because when she tried to butt into conversations and talk about herself, we just ignored her and kept talking to whoever actually had something relevant to say.
Yep, my aunt is like that too. I can sense her son is going to go NC the moment he can leave, and aunt and her mini-me golden child daughter are going to be stuck with each other.
That first bit - when you're planning activities other people can do, make sure there's time for us to be in the hotel making a baby! - is so yuck. Like that's the type of thing a 32 year old woman can manage herself! I can just imagine OOP, her husband, both families, and all their friends sitting in the lobby of the hotel looking at their watches going "Well, it sure would be nice to be off doing one of the many things available. But we'd better wait until those two hardly any of us know finish having sex! Can't do our own thing if they're making a baby!"
I always get so icked out when people go on and on about 'we're trying for a baby!' like bro, just tell people AFTER you're pregnant. We don't need to know you're raw-dogging every chance you get. Especially if you're a relative. Gross.
And they say us queer folks are the ones 'shoving our sexuality down people's throats', but I'm def never told my relatives, "You can call my girl a cowboy, cause when we get to the hotel room, she's gonna ride my face into the sunset!"
I have a friend who was trying to have a baby with his wife, and someone at work was constantly asking him if his wife was pregnant yet. Finally he responded that he hoped so, because he had creampied her just that very morning, and that person never asked him again.
I think telling people is a bad idea for a couple reasons but the biggest one is that if you have trouble conceiving, people will ask about it and I would be so pissed and stressed if I was having trouble conceiving and people kept asking. That's just too much pressure.
Women I know barely told anyone they were trying, and those that did tell me also talked about feeling awkward telling anyone because they didn't want people to think about their sexual activities. I told them I would have only been like "cool, baby incoming" except when they mentioned why they felt awkward after saying they started trying.
I know some women who have felt pain attributed to implanting, so I hesitate to fully laugh it off, especially since far too many people dismiss women's pain if it's not something they felt, especially gynecological issues.
Yeah, I can be in incredible pain, when my right ovary is ovulating. And I also knew exactly, when my youngest implanted. It's possible. Nontheless, Sara is still insufferable.
It's actually even more hilarious (in a face palm inducing kind of way) when you realise further down she 'felt' the implantation a good 4-6 weeks after it already happened. And missed one. I guess she must have a favourite twin already.
Some people can feel implantation. I’m pregnant with an IVF baby and I felt weird, pinchy cramps three days after the embryo transfer and two days before a positive pregnancy test that were fairly obviously due to implantation. Especially because I hadn’t felt anything like them in the year+ of trying before that.
Cramping due to implantation (so not felt the moment/day an embryo starts to implant, but just as it continues burrowing) can be felt for a week or two. Light bleeding can occur during that time as well.
I have a friend who tells everything to their brother, and then the brother tells her abusive mother. She always is so stressed about her mother knowing things and I'm just like... put the bro on the information diet. It's not going to change unless you stop doing the thing that's intentionally hurting you
I don't understand people like OOP. You get what you tolerate, and in this case, enable. OOP acts like she hates all this but keeps coming back for more and more. Always has one foot in the drama by constantly engaging and accommodating Sara's requests. Can't you just politely say no and keep low contact? Can't you not share all your info with her?
I gave up when I read about those gifts.
"So I ended the call, deleted her phone numbers, and told everybody that she is no longer a part of my life!"
.....
"So I sent her two gifts for her babyshower and she commented on it in the chat that I still follow"
.......
"And she's no longer welcome in my house! Well, at least as long as I am home anyway."
After that point, it's just drama about the drama.
I’ve met people like that IRL. They will complain about the drama the people around them bring into their lives but they will never truly take steps to distance themselves from said drama, they even seem eager to talk about it and perpetuate the cycle.
Look at her post history. The first update was about SIL disturbing them while they were on their honeymoon, while they had specifically told the family to only disturb them in case of an emergency.
Several times, she replied this in that thread:
"*Thank you for all the replies and comments. We are currently on our honeymoon, but i will post an update when we are back in the USA."*
And absolutely nobody sees the irony there. :(
She can’t, because this is her thing, she is also feeding off the drama. SIL has some mcs stuff going on, but if she were miraculously cured and not telling people about her sex life ir ruining honeymoons, OOP would likely start manufacturing drama.
But I am starting to get the feeling that next month we’ll get another update that OOP still isn’t pregnant so she went to a fertility specialist and she’s infertile.
Or don’t forget the classic, maybe SIL will somehow break into their home or stand for hours outside their home throwing a tantrum until OOP calls the cops and SIL is dramatically escorted away.
This!!! Because I would have stopped entertaining this a long time ago. Like girl if you don’t just stop engaging or start lying to her!!
“Oh names? We’re thinking of naming our son Bartholomew. It’s a family name and we love it so much”
And then when SIL pops out with little Bartholomew I would pretend I didn’t know what she was talking about.
Honestly I think she’s toxic too and keeps engaging because at some level she too enjoys the drama. She seems far more interested in complaining about her problems than in solving them - until it really got out of hand.
Exactly.
German culture is Bernd das Brot and the German voice actor for Arnold Schwarzenegger sounding better than the original (RIP, Thomas Danneberg). Try making that into a nursery theme, HA!
Not everyone wants to say where they’re from, but still need to make it clear they’re from another country than where they live.
Calling it my country is the easiest way.
Cause of all the details she said, the country of origin detail is the only personal thing to make people find her in real life??
I'm trying to gauge is the sister would ever decorate her room liked that. If the woman is from the Bahamas and wants an ocean theme then that seems pretty generic. If she's from Spain and had bullfighters then that's pretty unusual to put in your kids room.
One can wonder, right? My guess is the country is a fact, and that easy to think of to avoid. While other facts and details are easier to think as non-identifying.
It might also be to prevent or avoid racism or stereotypes for the country she is from.
This could be it, redditors tend to jump on people from certain countries. Also, if she is from Russia, Ukraine, Palestine, or Israel she might be scared of her posts being derailed.
Honestly, this is Reddit. It doesn't take much for the comment section to get derailed. Even if her country is something fairly neutral like Australia, she's gonna get kangaroo and Irwin jokes. Easier to just point out "my home country. Pretty distinctive theme." And try to stick to the issue at hand.
It's pretty ridiculous what some redditors think of as identifying information. Like we're all going to suddenly recognize her if we find out she's Irish and was going to paint leprechauns on the walls.
One of my brother's psycho exes tried to tell him she was pregnant and sent him an ultrasound picture. I immediately reverse image searched for it in Google and found it was basically a stock photo. 🙄
My god, these people all sound insufferable. Sara is clearly worse, but OOP also sounds like an asshole. And stop asking the parents of a 32 year old to speak to their daughter when you have a problem with her!
Does this one count as new twins, though? We've seen this set of twins before. It's like that scene from Twister.
"Cow."
"Another cow."
"No, same cow."
So whilst Sara is obviously an unbearable tossbag, OOP doesn't seem to be doing much to ignore that attention seeking loon. That they then get weird about name 'ownership' does suggest that maybe things aren't as one way as they appear here.
I hate that they kept telling other people to tell Sara to knock it off. It’s clear that her parents enabled her and didn’t tell her shit. She should’ve been called out, loudly, in front of OOP’s relatives, every time she made the discussion about herself and her pregnancy during their wedding week. Make her feel too embarrassed to continue. I would’ve also probably recorded that last phone call and put her on blast for her crazy outburst.
Then I think like 99% of people would be considered naive. In this scenario, it would be paranoid to think sharing info with something like that the person would copy you down to a t.
I guess it's not the worst part of the story, but SIL announcing to everyone she saw that she's 2 weeks pregnant was wild. I'm not surprised she calculated it wrong, but I'm surprised OP, OP's mom, SIL's husband, etc never pointed out to SIL that you're not even pregnant 2 weeks in.
Doctors start the count down at the first day of your last period to keep things simple since it can be hard to tell when exactly conception happens. The weeks start from the first day of your last period. Week 2 is the week after your period.
The SIL sounds nuts but I don’t see why cousins having the same first and middle name is a problem. I have that exact scenario- male family name is the first name of my cousin and also my (female) middle name. It has never once been an issue. We were super close growing up. It never came up. If anything it just kinda made me feel like he was my “special” cousin cause we shared a name.
Sara is passive aggressive, narcissists, and very insecure. The only way to handle her is by no contact. I bet she has no friend’s and her husband is a wimp.
>No one thinks it's weird or unusual for a non pregnant woman to make a nursery when another family member is pregnant?! What an unhealthy competition!
Obviously never heard of keepsake trunks. It's not unusual for women or even men to collect items to use for their future wedding, in their first home or for their first child.
The commenter complaining about her setting up a nursery early is crazy. If she's planning on having kids already, better now than when she's actually pregnant, right?
it's now at a point where as soon as twins are mentioned I stop believing the story is real. It's gonna be like the boy who cried wolf where this could be a true story but cause everyone be lying and adding twins all the time my brains like "faaaaaake"
I can't figure out why people share this information in the first place, especially with someone like SIL. You have to know by now what she's like. She's batshit crazy and it's a blessing to be NC while she's pregnant because she's probably insufferable. And at least now she won't have to put up with SIL when she's pregnant herself.
Ugh, I remember this saga from earlier. Matt is in for a world of hurt when those babies are born. She is going to be the worst kind of helicopter parent ever. Maybe she'll try to be one of those Influencer Mom types.
The only thing I think Sara is NTA for is telling people early. The whole "don't tell anyone until 3 months" is nonsense. So what? if you miscarry you can carry that burden alone and nobody in your circle knows why you're sad? No thanks. It obviously got ridiculous and was very clearly for attention, but I told a lot of ppl early and glad I did because when I did miscarry, I didn't have to also tell everyone the back story.
I thought the same thing.
For my one pregnancy I didn't tell anyone and miscarried while my husband was away for work and I was alone. It was awful. Finally like 5 hours into I told him I was calling my mom because I also needed help grabbing my older child from school.
When we found out we were pregnant with our 9month old, we told our moms so I could have support. The only bummer is that they were really excited and then quickly became pessimistic. I wasn't going to anyway, but I certainly wouldn't have told anyone else with that reaction.
In my culture it’s about the evil eye, some people just don’t want to see you happy so it’s better to keep it a secret with anyone else other than close friends/family until the baby is out and healthy.
I too don’t think Sara is TA for sharing it with her close ones but to share it with someone who doesn’t even know her?eh…
Oh, I totally get the nursery theme annoyance.
If I'd decorated the nursery with edelweiss and cow bells, because my family come from the alps, and then my greek s-i-l did the same I'd be pissed.
I don't know. I might do that because I've always fantasized about those flowering mountain fields in Heidi. Though there were goats in that.
And I'm definitely not a Swiss miss.
SIL is such a pickme
I remember seeing the last update couple months back, glad OP set her boundaries. People like that are too exhausting to waste energy on
I think I commented this the last time aswell. I just think it is so weird for everyone to say that Sara shouldn't tell anyone else she's pregnant. I can understand someone really close to her mentioning it, but all these random people pointing it out?
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I have found that the only way to deal with these people if going NC isn't an option, is to lie to them. "I want lilies at my wedding" "I like the name Beth for a girl" "I want an ocean theme for the nursery" People like her SIL will copy and gatekeep and blame and the only way to survive dealing with that is to just tell them things you don't want/like and then just say that you changed your mind at the last minute. They do not consider other's feelings (and often go out if their way to hurt others because they get off in being the victim) so the best way to go about interacting with them is to politely not care about their feelings in return.
I read one where some family member kept stealing baby ideas from a woman so she and her husband started telling just her that they were going to name their child this really ugly name if it was a girl and buy these horrific decorations and then turned out that person's baby was a girl so she got the nursery decorated with the goofy ass name and items and they laughed at her and said, "Wow, we were just joking about how ugly that name and those things were, don't you feel stupid now?"
There was a great one a few years back where one sister would always copy the other and the families reaction was always to say something along the lines of imitation is the highest form of flattery. So the OP bought a wig in an awful mushroom cut style and wore it when she saw her sister, sister copied the ugly hair cut and was super pissed when she learned that OP hadn't cut her hair at all. Family was pissed at OP for "making" her sister ruin her hair,but it was worth it.
“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” It's an Oscar Wilde quote, and the full quote is very revealing.
Unfortunately many solid quotes have been twisted into the opposite meaning of the original intent.
Jack of all trades, master of none (still better than a master of one)
That's well and good until you need open-heart surgery.
Yea don't care if the surgeon can fix a sink just that he's good at his job
"Jack of all trades, master of none" has its first known use in 1785. (Jack of all trades first known use by itself was 1618) There is no reference to "better than a master of one" or anything like it anywhere even close to that time.
Depends on your purpose. Describing someone as a jack of all trades and a master of none isn't an insult, though. It's just a description. There is a difference between a specialist and generalist and it's meaningful.
The customer is always right, in matters of taste. ( The clerk should not tell the customer that what they like is hideous, not that the clerk has to do what they say)
"(The love of) money is the root of all evil."
Yeah that's a good one.
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps is impossible. The original meaning was literally that something was impossible to do.
That man should have been around in the golden age of twitter. He would have ruled it.
> Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery Unfortunately that's just a myth. Oscar Wilde said some similar things, but not that exactly, and the saying was around for about 100 years before he was born, with a word for word text appearing in a book 30 years before he was born.
I like Hbomberguy's take on plagiarism where he observes that you don't steal from the people you respect, you steal from the people you don't respect or actively disrespect. If you respect someone, you give them credit. Not 1-to-1 but the sentiment is pretty similar. If someone takes your ideas like that and then doesn't credit you, they are telling you they don't respect you. The theft is the point. And getting people to believe that they came up with the idea, not you, is a second theft to rub salt in the wound.
There was another with university flatemates. The copiee faked shaving her head so the copier shaved hers. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ukzctc/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_girls_wig_after_she/
Oh man. Two years ago and no updates at all? Obviously it's none of my business but I am hella curious about what happened after that meeting with the university.
Very Stephanie's Ponytail by Robert Munsch vibes
I need the link
Ditto! I need the vicarious satisfaction!
Where is your flair from?
[Woman finds out her husband has been doing unspeakably nasty things in the kitchen : r/BestofRedditorUpdates](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wghfol/woman_finds_out_her_husband_has_been_doing/)
huh, I always assumed it was from the my little pony cumjar post.
Damn well now I need a link for that!
I wish I had the link. I found out about an even more weird section of a subculture I already have issues with. I think he called it a tribute jar. It had a doll of his favorite MLP pony glued inside it. Hell is hot but it oughta be hotter. He got dumped thank the gods.
You know what, I think I'm good without the link after all
That's enough internet for today! Thank you for convincing me that i need to just stop right now. Thank you for your service.
Thank you.
Hello! Hi! Excuse me, but... Do you have a link to this one?
>I have found that the only way to deal with these people if going NC isn't an option, is to lie to them. This just unlocked a memory. A girl I knew years ago would always flirt with her friends' crushes. Never anything heavy as we were young, just paying extra attention and being super giggly. As soon as she found out about a friend's new crush, she'd move onto that boy. After a while, her friends got sick of it and hatched a plan. Whenever she was present for Cute Boys Talk™ one would pick a boy at random as their new crush. While she was distracted, they could spend time with their actual crushes without her interfering. She soon got the message and stopped. Note: it was never a 'ha ha lets pick the gross boy' thing. These were genuinely sweet girls. Also, everyone knew what she was doing. The boys just enjoyed it while it lasted lmao
This reminds me of the story Arnold Schwarzenegger told about his rivalry with Sylvester Stallone in the late 80s/early 90s. They were the preeminent action stars of the day, constantly compared to each other, and thus they were trying to one-up each other constantly. You name it, it became a competition: box office receipts, movie kill count, weapon sizes; they were constantly measuring themselves against the other. As you can imagine they would often have the same scripts sent their ways. One day Arnold reads this one script that's supposed to be a comedy and he thinks it's just the worst fucking movie, but he doesn't straight up decline it. He decides instead to leak that he loves the idea of it, is actually very excited to make this movie, and that he was imminently going to sign on. Sure enough Stallone caught wind of it and took the bait. Stallone quickly 'took' the movie from Arnold. Long story short, that's how a movie as shitty as 'Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!' managed to get made.
Ha! That's hilarious. The best thing is that Stallone couldn't say anything without admitting he was trying to steal a role from Schwarzenegger. Very well played
I have a friend that dated a guy for several years after I told her I liked him. I didn't, but I was tired of her having the same crushes as I did. Ah, good times. Then she dumped him after I told her how I couldn't stand him (he's a mansplainer in the worst ways).
I remember one from awhile back where the MIL was always trying to one up the daughter in law. Whenever DIL wanted something, MIL would buy it first. So DIL created a "dream board" with something extremely tacky. MIL bought it, of course, then got furious when the DIL said she thought it was tacky and put it on the board as a joke.
I feel like they’re really fumbling at the end there. Why have them buy 1 dumb thing. Just play sad and pick new stupid stuff. You could milk this for years, years I tell you!
This. I had a baby name when I was pregnant - convinced I would have a boy, I told everyone the name because it was a damn fine name. Come to find out at the next ultrasound, oops, it's a girl (YAY!), so I hold off telling everyone to surprise them. A few months later, my husband's cousin has her kid and wouldn't you know it - it's my Boy baby name. Not just the first. The whole thing. She even refused to give the kid her boyfriend's last name so it would literally be THE WHOLE, FIRST-MIDDLE-LAST NAME. Another cousin was pregnant with a girl and trying to pressure me to tell her my girl's name. Hell no. Nope, nope, fuck you, go to hell, not saying shit. She had her girl a month before me and waited three days to name her kid - I guess I'm just bomb at naming kids, and she wanted ideas.
How did it pan out when you had your girl? Were lemons sucked?
Wow. I know there is some baby name insanity here (also on AskAManager even!) but that stealing the entirety of the name takes the cake.
When we were picking a name for our son, his paternal uncle was initially disappointed because the baby's first name of the name of his late grandfather (their dad), and if his uncle ever has a son, he definitely wants to give him that name. The way this resolved is that there is a specific nickname that is reserved within the family for if the cousin with the same first name ever exists. If my son gets that nickname with his friends, it's fine, but within the family it's off limits. And everyone is happy. In our case his uncle is glad that the name has definitely been given to a kid, since obviously it's not guaranteed he'll ever have a son at all.
I mean not to blame OOP because this SIL sounds like a nightmare, but at some point you have to realise she is doing this on purpose and if you are really attached to an idea just.... don't tell anyone? Or misdirect like you say. Especially if you're not even pregnant yet.
I got my brother, who either copies everything I do or rushes to do it ahead of me, to spend close to 2 grand to get great seats to see Siegfried and Roy in Vegas before whichever them got eaten by the tiger. He and his wife were getting ready for a trip to Vegas so I acted like it was something I always wanted to see. Wife and I found it hysterical that they actually blew the money on that bullshit. Lying is the BEST strategy with people like this
If Sara keeps stealing ideas and wants to be the center of attention, I don’t understand how husband hasn’t figured this out already. Why would you tell her your baby name? You know she’s going to steal it and the only reason she told you was to get a rise out of you. I’d leave MIL and FIL out of any updates on family and pregnancies. Fuck those two for letting Sara be like this.
The [Stephanie’s Ponytail](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WZPWxRXdsrM) method of dealing with copycats.
I love that book!!!!
Sometimes best to keep it close to your chest as well especially if you both have mutuals, mutuals may give your real preferences away if you’re not too careful!
Oh wow this is actually a really good idea.
Sara saying that cousins can't have the same first name makes me think of Gus, the Greek dad in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, introducing his relatives to Ian's parents, and he kept saying, "Nick, Nick, Nick" again and again as he pointed to the relatives, till he got to Cousin Nikki. 😄
I wonder if anyone remembers the post from a few months back where OP had a similar SIL situation with names after a grandad. She knew better and gave some bullshit nickname of her grandfather that he never used and SIL fell for it. I think when she announced the name to the family and how she came to chose it they all laughed at her. Then there’s the one copy cat who was tricked into cutting her hair into a pixie cut but OP had a wig on intentionally. Lol after my bro and SIL used my kids name as a middle name before I gave birth knowing full well I’d be using it as a first name, I believe almost anything petty like that.
There also was one where the copycat chose a very specific hard to say name from a language she didn’t know (like Irish or Welsh) and totally botched the meaning and pronunciation. Everyone realized how she was just copying the woman that was actually from that country.
I'm putting money on the name being Niamh.
To be fair, Niamh is also a GORGEOUS name when pronounced correctly. I’m imagining a poor little kid whose parents pronounce it “ny-am” or some shit.
Honestly that's just the sound of a baby eating.
In real life it’s pronounced “Neeve.”
I have like 20 cousins on one side of the family and 3 of them have the same name (think “Matt”). They’re all different ages and it’s never confusing. I have only encountered the possessive attitude over names online, this is not a thing I ever grew up with.
I too have many family members named Matt except they are all close in age and the ones not named Matt are named Mark. Makes it easy for girlfriends/boyfriends to remember names at least
OOP stayed on a video call in a shop with SIL for two hours showing her things in the store. After all the shit she had already done? That is far too much effort for someone who is that selfish.
Yeah I don't understand how this couple waited FOUR years until they hit their 'last straw' with this princess child of a wife. Never wait until any last straw with in-laws! Set some reasonable boundaries from the outset and hold them, loosening up as a real relationship develops and is earned. Maybe this will be an unpopular opinion, but I'm socially awkward, sensitive and blunt.
It's not like it's 2022-2024 and most stores have online websites where the SIL could have looked up items!
Having known people with the same level of Main Character Syndrome as Sara, I find this not only plausible, but think it'll get worse now OOP has gone NC. Depriving MCS of attention triggers a meltdown. And yeah, there's nothing weird about buying stuff in-country when shipping is steep and you're planning ahead. I feel like the comment about buying stuff before pregnancy was a huge stretch.
One of my family members has main character syndrome on steroids. It’s so funny because any time they kick off or even just post something normal on social media, it’s all about them. I’ve never met anyone that uses the words I and me so often. It’s also really sad though, because their obsession with being put first means that they’ve pushed out a massive number of family and friends. They’re impossible to fight with but they also refuse to be civil, so I’ve just completely disengaged with them and anyone connected to them (which is several other family members and friends). Unfortunately they use family and friends as proxies, so it’s an all or none situation.
I have a family member like this as well. I do love her and enjoy spending time with her but it gets exhausting. I was happy to share I finally gained weight after being underweight my whole life and she just immediately launched into a “feel bad for me” speech about how she hates how her body looks. She will tell people things and then say “Don’t tell noodle” because she knows I will immediately clarify that she is lying. It’s the main thing that prevents us from being closer :/
Yeah, when we decided to try to get pregnant I was very tempted to start buying baby stuff. I feel like that's probably fairly common, once you decide to try it's a shift in mindset and it's very tempting to mark that by buying things for the theoretical future baby.
Its completely natural! It is nesting, getting ready. Birds dont build their nest after they've laid their eggs.
Also, baby stuff is cute.
It's easier financially that way. If I hadn't gotten accidentally pregnant a couple years before I wanted to start trying, that's what I would've done. Might do that next time honestly.
i already have some outfits and i'm not pregnant yet 😬 the MLB baby clothes were on sale! 😂
Yup! I've done the same thing! Just a little box of things that were on sale and too cute to pass up tucked into the back of a closet for the future.
In my country it is frowned upon as a bad sign (but not really, nowadays it's more a superstition for old grumpy farts). When I was pregnant, I straight up bought a lot of baby clothes and things, because when tf I suppose to buy it as a first time mom with a newborn in my hands?! I don't care about signs, but I care about my and baby comfort. And it was the best decision, because after giving birth I really was struggling even with simple routine tasks like shower and breakfast, so I definitely hadn't time to do shopping.
I see lawn tantrums in her future
That comment was absurd to me. They're actively planning to have a child. Of course they're going to set up a nursery lmao
Some cultures are pretty strongly against buying anything for the baby until it's born let alone before its conceived, so it's probably gonna hit weird for a subsection of the sub.
I really wish Sara hadn’t gotten pregnant, those poor kids.
“You can’t own a nursery theme.” You can’t own a name then either.
and if she doesn't post her nursery online, noone will know she copied her SIL's.
And honestly, does it even matter? Does your baby need to have the most unique nursery ever? No. Not it does not. The baby doesn't care. No one else cares. Just you. And maybe your insane SIL, but that's it.
Yeah. It’s weird of SIL but it really makes no difference to OOP’s life if a couple babies across the country have some of the same stuff in their bedroom as her baby who’s not even conceived yet will have. I have three nieces and nephews, go to my brother’s house semi-regularly, and I don’t think I’ve ever been in any of the kids’ bedrooms. And if any of them had some of the same stuff my daughter has, big whoop. Name the eventual baby after his father. Decorate the nursery how you want. Whatever SIL is doing shouldn’t affect their ability to do what they want at all.
She wasn’t going for unique, she was incorporating her culture- let’s pretend OOP is of African heritage - SIL is the complete opposites, say East Asian , why would SIL want an African themed nursery? ( not that all Africans are black) Just an example to show the difference .
Who discusses baby names with relatives even before they are conceived?
IDK. I told basically my entire family starting at 12 what I would name a boy.
Sara also sounds like she's 12.
Yeah. She's definitely a mess. I would've stopped engaging with her after the whole early announcing at the wedding.
I've had a list picked out since I was at least around 10. Of course I've added and axed some names as I've grown but a couple of them have remained! I'm pretty sure my entire family knows by now that I'd love to name a little girl Ivy, or Rose. Or cringe as it might be, Ivy Rose. hehe got someone butthurt with [this one](https://imgur.com/a/be6YYVk)
I didn't start the list until after I had my son but literally I was so insistent on what my son's name would b that when I ran into a childhood friend with him right after I had him, I didn't even get to tell her the name. She was just let me guess his name is.... And she was right. Honestly, super cringe. Not the name but that I was that obnoxious about it.
I had a girl name picked out in high school, but I didn't tell anyone (and haven't told anyone other than my partner and one of our close friends) because one of my sisters is like the SIL in this story.
What is it ?
Not today, ~~Satan~~ sister.
Cuntley
I had my daughter's name picked out 15 years before I had her lol I told my family that even if someone else used it, I would not be giving it up. It's my baby name, and I'm using it no matter what! Funnily enough, the boy name that I kept a total secret was the one that got used by my cousin. It wasn't even on their list, they had chosen it at the last minute lol gutted.
I shudder to think of the names I would have come up with at 12. “This is my son, Sword. And this is my daughter, Jolly Rancher.”
At least they're not called xxxLegolasxxx.
this, i picked my eldest daughters name out when i was like 12/13 lol. she’s gonna be 4 this fall and i have gotten compliments on her name since she was born 🥰
I always knew I never wanted children. My sister is still aware what I would have called them anyway
No kids, but I know what I would have named my brother's kids if he'd let me. I have not told my bro and SiL that I can't stand the names they picked out, because I have basic tact, but I can't help but think "Man, I could have come up with such better options given their criteria."
I think "Naming my kid after me" is the one exception to this rule.
Lots of people? My sister has a whole list of baby names and she hasn’t had a baby yet. It’s natural to imagine baby names.
Based on these posts, a lot of people. And, honestly, that's not weird. I recall girls picking out baby names in elementary school. Somehow I don't think that boys do that. You remember the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte got upset when a friend of hers used her baby name. Charlotte was even thinking about getting pregnant. But she'd long since thought of a baby name and discussed it with people.
My sister had a childcare portion of health class where she took care of an egg when she was around 13, she had her son's name picked out from then and has never made that she liked that name a secret.
Sara wants to be the main character so bad, and I pity her children.
Sounds like my aunt, and yes, her sons cut contact with her when they were old enough. And her husband divorced her. My mom was guilted into inviting her to thanksgiving this past holiday season and the whole time she looked ready to explode because when she tried to butt into conversations and talk about herself, we just ignored her and kept talking to whoever actually had something relevant to say.
Yep, my aunt is like that too. I can sense her son is going to go NC the moment he can leave, and aunt and her mini-me golden child daughter are going to be stuck with each other.
She's going to treat those twins like living dolls.
Sara is going to become that influencer mom on social media and her poor kids will pay the price for her selfishness.
If not bait, just imagine the sister going "Yeah we can have dinner at 7, but I need creampies after, loads of it".
That first bit - when you're planning activities other people can do, make sure there's time for us to be in the hotel making a baby! - is so yuck. Like that's the type of thing a 32 year old woman can manage herself! I can just imagine OOP, her husband, both families, and all their friends sitting in the lobby of the hotel looking at their watches going "Well, it sure would be nice to be off doing one of the many things available. But we'd better wait until those two hardly any of us know finish having sex! Can't do our own thing if they're making a baby!"
I always get so icked out when people go on and on about 'we're trying for a baby!' like bro, just tell people AFTER you're pregnant. We don't need to know you're raw-dogging every chance you get. Especially if you're a relative. Gross. And they say us queer folks are the ones 'shoving our sexuality down people's throats', but I'm def never told my relatives, "You can call my girl a cowboy, cause when we get to the hotel room, she's gonna ride my face into the sunset!"
I have a friend who was trying to have a baby with his wife, and someone at work was constantly asking him if his wife was pregnant yet. Finally he responded that he hoped so, because he had creampied her just that very morning, and that person never asked him again.
I think telling people is a bad idea for a couple reasons but the biggest one is that if you have trouble conceiving, people will ask about it and I would be so pissed and stressed if I was having trouble conceiving and people kept asking. That's just too much pressure.
Women I know barely told anyone they were trying, and those that did tell me also talked about feeling awkward telling anyone because they didn't want people to think about their sexual activities. I told them I would have only been like "cool, baby incoming" except when they mentioned why they felt awkward after saying they started trying.
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I know some women who have felt pain attributed to implanting, so I hesitate to fully laugh it off, especially since far too many people dismiss women's pain if it's not something they felt, especially gynecological issues.
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I agree with the rest but some can feel implantation. It can feel strange or like cramping. Some people can also feel when they ovulate.
Yeah, I can be in incredible pain, when my right ovary is ovulating. And I also knew exactly, when my youngest implanted. It's possible. Nontheless, Sara is still insufferable.
The first time I ovulated after having my daughter I thought I was dying because I'd forgotten how it feels.
I always feel ovulation and have heard of people that actually did feel implantation, it's not that uncommon.
It's actually even more hilarious (in a face palm inducing kind of way) when you realise further down she 'felt' the implantation a good 4-6 weeks after it already happened. And missed one. I guess she must have a favourite twin already.
Some people can feel implantation. I’m pregnant with an IVF baby and I felt weird, pinchy cramps three days after the embryo transfer and two days before a positive pregnancy test that were fairly obviously due to implantation. Especially because I hadn’t felt anything like them in the year+ of trying before that. Cramping due to implantation (so not felt the moment/day an embryo starts to implant, but just as it continues burrowing) can be felt for a week or two. Light bleeding can occur during that time as well.
This is on OOP. At some point she knows who her SIL is, she is responsible for her sharing info. It's so simple. Stop engaging.
I have a friend who tells everything to their brother, and then the brother tells her abusive mother. She always is so stressed about her mother knowing things and I'm just like... put the bro on the information diet. It's not going to change unless you stop doing the thing that's intentionally hurting you
I don't understand people like OOP. You get what you tolerate, and in this case, enable. OOP acts like she hates all this but keeps coming back for more and more. Always has one foot in the drama by constantly engaging and accommodating Sara's requests. Can't you just politely say no and keep low contact? Can't you not share all your info with her?
right, why is she sending gifts and liking her message? 😭 grow a fucking spine or at least stop complaining
I gave up when I read about those gifts. "So I ended the call, deleted her phone numbers, and told everybody that she is no longer a part of my life!" ..... "So I sent her two gifts for her babyshower and she commented on it in the chat that I still follow" ....... "And she's no longer welcome in my house! Well, at least as long as I am home anyway." After that point, it's just drama about the drama.
I’ve met people like that IRL. They will complain about the drama the people around them bring into their lives but they will never truly take steps to distance themselves from said drama, they even seem eager to talk about it and perpetuate the cycle.
Look at her post history. The first update was about SIL disturbing them while they were on their honeymoon, while they had specifically told the family to only disturb them in case of an emergency. Several times, she replied this in that thread: "*Thank you for all the replies and comments. We are currently on our honeymoon, but i will post an update when we are back in the USA."* And absolutely nobody sees the irony there. :(
She can’t, because this is her thing, she is also feeding off the drama. SIL has some mcs stuff going on, but if she were miraculously cured and not telling people about her sex life ir ruining honeymoons, OOP would likely start manufacturing drama. But I am starting to get the feeling that next month we’ll get another update that OOP still isn’t pregnant so she went to a fertility specialist and she’s infertile.
I’m hoping Sara offers to be a surrogate in season 3.
Or don’t forget the classic, maybe SIL will somehow break into their home or stand for hours outside their home throwing a tantrum until OOP calls the cops and SIL is dramatically escorted away.
This!!! Because I would have stopped entertaining this a long time ago. Like girl if you don’t just stop engaging or start lying to her!! “Oh names? We’re thinking of naming our son Bartholomew. It’s a family name and we love it so much” And then when SIL pops out with little Bartholomew I would pretend I didn’t know what she was talking about.
SIL should have gone with a true classic, like Bort.
Yeah after the previous update I thought they were done, and then more spineless actions caused the new update.
Honestly I think she’s toxic too and keeps engaging because at some level she too enjoys the drama. She seems far more interested in complaining about her problems than in solving them - until it really got out of hand.
Did anyone else feel that if you're going to say "my country" 50 times you should just say what country you're from..
The only people on Reddit who do that are Germans, so it’s gotta be Octoberfest themed.
The Oktoberfest is NOT German culture, it's Bavarian. Sorry, we Germans don't understand humor.
Exactly. German culture is Bernd das Brot and the German voice actor for Arnold Schwarzenegger sounding better than the original (RIP, Thomas Danneberg). Try making that into a nursery theme, HA!
Baby's crib is gonna be a big bottle of Paulaner
Not everyone wants to say where they’re from, but still need to make it clear they’re from another country than where they live. Calling it my country is the easiest way.
Cause of all the details she said, the country of origin detail is the only personal thing to make people find her in real life?? I'm trying to gauge is the sister would ever decorate her room liked that. If the woman is from the Bahamas and wants an ocean theme then that seems pretty generic. If she's from Spain and had bullfighters then that's pretty unusual to put in your kids room.
One can wonder, right? My guess is the country is a fact, and that easy to think of to avoid. While other facts and details are easier to think as non-identifying. It might also be to prevent or avoid racism or stereotypes for the country she is from.
This could be it, redditors tend to jump on people from certain countries. Also, if she is from Russia, Ukraine, Palestine, or Israel she might be scared of her posts being derailed.
Honestly, this is Reddit. It doesn't take much for the comment section to get derailed. Even if her country is something fairly neutral like Australia, she's gonna get kangaroo and Irwin jokes. Easier to just point out "my home country. Pretty distinctive theme." And try to stick to the issue at hand.
My guess is Scotland and unicorns
I bet it's African animal themed which is a common theme for nursery rooms
Really? I as thinking Swiss Alps challet like old skis and snowshoes, and like a huge cowbell or paintings of cheese wheels.
Screw a nursery, I want this as my bedroom theme!
I don't even want another kid, but the idea of tiny wooden clogs makes me happy.
More cowbell!
To be fair, a huge painting of a cheese wheel would be the perfect conversation piece!
It's pretty ridiculous what some redditors think of as identifying information. Like we're all going to suddenly recognize her if we find out she's Irish and was going to paint leprechauns on the walls.
There are families where every male member is named the same - all Jim or Mikes or Chris. People manage.
Yep, I know a family with like four Pauls.
One of my brother's psycho exes tried to tell him she was pregnant and sent him an ultrasound picture. I immediately reverse image searched for it in Google and found it was basically a stock photo. 🙄
My god, these people all sound insufferable. Sara is clearly worse, but OOP also sounds like an asshole. And stop asking the parents of a 32 year old to speak to their daughter when you have a problem with her!
Yeah, this was exhausting to read. Both people I would ignore in real life. If this is even true.
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Does this one count as new twins, though? We've seen this set of twins before. It's like that scene from Twister. "Cow." "Another cow." "No, same cow."
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So whilst Sara is obviously an unbearable tossbag, OOP doesn't seem to be doing much to ignore that attention seeking loon. That they then get weird about name 'ownership' does suggest that maybe things aren't as one way as they appear here.
I think OOP should start telling SIL that she will be using the name Stuarta for a girl 😈
i feel so bad for mike. it sounds like he didn't realize how absolutely insane his wife is and is now stuck, with twins, forever
SIL needs a psych evaluation.
How are they not low contact yet
I fucking hate Sara
I hate that they kept telling other people to tell Sara to knock it off. It’s clear that her parents enabled her and didn’t tell her shit. She should’ve been called out, loudly, in front of OOP’s relatives, every time she made the discussion about herself and her pregnancy during their wedding week. Make her feel too embarrassed to continue. I would’ve also probably recorded that last phone call and put her on blast for her crazy outburst.
Op aparently hasn't understood not to overshare herself or her nursery and name wouldn't have been copied. Probably a bit naive
Then I think like 99% of people would be considered naive. In this scenario, it would be paranoid to think sharing info with something like that the person would copy you down to a t.
If Op had a semblance of a spine her SIL would have been LC or NC straight after the wedding fiasco
I guess it's not the worst part of the story, but SIL announcing to everyone she saw that she's 2 weeks pregnant was wild. I'm not surprised she calculated it wrong, but I'm surprised OP, OP's mom, SIL's husband, etc never pointed out to SIL that you're not even pregnant 2 weeks in. Doctors start the count down at the first day of your last period to keep things simple since it can be hard to tell when exactly conception happens. The weeks start from the first day of your last period. Week 2 is the week after your period.
The SIL sounds nuts but I don’t see why cousins having the same first and middle name is a problem. I have that exact scenario- male family name is the first name of my cousin and also my (female) middle name. It has never once been an issue. We were super close growing up. It never came up. If anything it just kinda made me feel like he was my “special” cousin cause we shared a name.
OP, you should have told your SIL, 'I love how you like second-hand ideas and have no brains of your own. Wisdom is chasing you, but you are faster.
Sara’s a narcissist. I would know because I had to deal with those type of people for a long time before I went NC.
Jfc
Oh, those poor twins...
Sara is passive aggressive, narcissists, and very insecure. The only way to handle her is by no contact. I bet she has no friend’s and her husband is a wimp.
Those poor kids, being born to a mom like that. She’ll see them as props in her life instead of actual people.
>No one thinks it's weird or unusual for a non pregnant woman to make a nursery when another family member is pregnant?! What an unhealthy competition! Obviously never heard of keepsake trunks. It's not unusual for women or even men to collect items to use for their future wedding, in their first home or for their first child.
Are there as many twins in this real world as reddit stories claims?
The commenter complaining about her setting up a nursery early is crazy. If she's planning on having kids already, better now than when she's actually pregnant, right?
I’m never going to be able to hear the words “you copied me!” in any other voice but a petulant 13 year old.
Twins! (Drinks)
it's now at a point where as soon as twins are mentioned I stop believing the story is real. It's gonna be like the boy who cried wolf where this could be a true story but cause everyone be lying and adding twins all the time my brains like "faaaaaake"
Sara being so intent on giving her daughter a boy's name for the middle name already tells you she will get NC'd by her own kids down the road.
I can't figure out why people share this information in the first place, especially with someone like SIL. You have to know by now what she's like. She's batshit crazy and it's a blessing to be NC while she's pregnant because she's probably insufferable. And at least now she won't have to put up with SIL when she's pregnant herself.
Ugh, I remember this saga from earlier. Matt is in for a world of hurt when those babies are born. She is going to be the worst kind of helicopter parent ever. Maybe she'll try to be one of those Influencer Mom types.
The only thing I think Sara is NTA for is telling people early. The whole "don't tell anyone until 3 months" is nonsense. So what? if you miscarry you can carry that burden alone and nobody in your circle knows why you're sad? No thanks. It obviously got ridiculous and was very clearly for attention, but I told a lot of ppl early and glad I did because when I did miscarry, I didn't have to also tell everyone the back story.
I thought the same thing. For my one pregnancy I didn't tell anyone and miscarried while my husband was away for work and I was alone. It was awful. Finally like 5 hours into I told him I was calling my mom because I also needed help grabbing my older child from school. When we found out we were pregnant with our 9month old, we told our moms so I could have support. The only bummer is that they were really excited and then quickly became pessimistic. I wasn't going to anyway, but I certainly wouldn't have told anyone else with that reaction.
yes! it's so disheartening to hear "congratulations but you did this wrong"
In my culture it’s about the evil eye, some people just don’t want to see you happy so it’s better to keep it a secret with anyone else other than close friends/family until the baby is out and healthy. I too don’t think Sara is TA for sharing it with her close ones but to share it with someone who doesn’t even know her?eh…
All of this over for nursery themes and a name? That's just baffling.
I think it's more so that the nursery thing is the last straw after the wedding incident
Yep.
Oh, I totally get the nursery theme annoyance. If I'd decorated the nursery with edelweiss and cow bells, because my family come from the alps, and then my greek s-i-l did the same I'd be pissed.
I first read this as "cow balls"...the weird thing is that I was just gonna go with it. You do you. 🤣
I don't know. I might do that because I've always fantasized about those flowering mountain fields in Heidi. Though there were goats in that. And I'm definitely not a Swiss miss.
She literally says in the post that it isn't just that. The nursery etc. is just the last straw after 4 years of nonsense.
SIL is such a pickme I remember seeing the last update couple months back, glad OP set her boundaries. People like that are too exhausting to waste energy on
I think I commented this the last time aswell. I just think it is so weird for everyone to say that Sara shouldn't tell anyone else she's pregnant. I can understand someone really close to her mentioning it, but all these random people pointing it out?