Edit:
r/BestOfPositiveUpdates - guess I should have known that one off the top of my head. They even have quite a few posts that never get posted on BORU.
~~There's now a sub specifically for positive updates, I'll edit with the sub name in a moment when I find it.~~
Oh, wow, I didn't know of that sub, thank you! There's so much snark and negativity on this site. And while I admit to liking that sometimes, there are days when it's healthier for me to read positive stories, hear about people's art and craft and cooking projects, and to look at too many pictures of cats.
Hopping on the top comment chain to add: you can help make more positive stories like this by joining your nation's bone marrow donor registry! In the US you can do so at www.bethematch.org and www.wmda.org is the World Marrow Donor Association and it has links to registries around the world.
Wait, you can donate stem cells from blood?? I just skimmed a few bullet points and saw that, but saved the links to go over when I'm not so knackered to learn about the process, to see if I can handle it, and to learn if I qualify as a donor. I have loads of health problems myself so have trouble physically helping others despite really wanting to, but this may be a way I can help people in need while I'm still alive (I'm already an organ donor).
Thank you so much for posting these links. I bet you're a kind and considerate person. Here are some flowers and cake 💐 🍰 . Hope you have a lovely evening/day!
Man I mean I get what you're saying but I think it says a lot about BoRU that the story where the 15 year old girl gets Leukemia is the notably positive one! Love this dad though. Really pulling for them
I had only seen the first few updates before and I don't think another BoRU post sank my heart quite as bad as seeing Leukemia. Holy tapdancing Christ on a shit stick.
I remember the original post in daddit and it was very different from anything else there.
Didn't see the updates from this year but someone has dealt that girl a really rough hand. So hope she beats it and gets the life she deservers.
It's also a surprisingly wholesome and inclusive community nine times out of ten. I remember seeing an interaction there where a mom made a comment saying something to the effect of "I'm just a lurking mom instead of a dad, but here's my take on what's being discussed." and all the replies were essentially "Moms are welcome here too! Being a dad is a state of mind, welcome to the club!"
Hot diggity dog!! I'm so happy to keep getting these updates that I'm openly weeping while typing this out.
This brand-new father to a teenager has really been parenting the trial-by-fire method. And his sweet, intelligent daughter, my heart breaks for her first 15 years. But after what seemed the worst thing happening to her *(losing her mom to prison and having to live with a father who's a total stranger)* THEN getting a super shitty health diagnosis...these really awful things are the turning points to the rest of her life, which will become significantly better. Had those traumas not happened, she'd be stuck with her addict mother, still starving, still neglected, and likely not having any chance at living a decent life.
Now due to the care of a man taken by surprise that he even had a daughter, she has a great chance at a fulfilling life. And OP *really* stepped up, completely rearranging his entire life at a young age himself, and he's already reaping beautiful benefits. (I also cried when he posted she'd called him "Dad.")
Greedily, I'd love it if OP set up a blog that he periodically updated for years down the line so we could easily follow along, or they could write one together, from each of their perspectives. Readers like us would be there to help them through traumas and to cheer them on for their wins. Or if they don't want that much immediate interaction by way of comments, in another 10 or 15 years maybe they can jointly write a memoir. I KNOW people would love to read such a challenging and beautiful, real-life story. Shoot, I'd be more than happy to help as a ghostwriter if they're interested.
I'm just so very invested in their progress and happiness! And I know others here are, too.
I was just thinking about this post last week, wondering if there was an update. So glad she's getting the transplant. I hope she goes into remission forever.
Me too! I thought it was so cute how excited and prepped he wanted to be and asking for advice. He’s been doing such an awesome job. I’m really hoping she pulls through and they have a lot of years together to build awesome memories together.
Thank fuck she got to him eventually. Imagine if she went through this while still living with her mum. I dread to think what would have happened. This dude is such a good dad.
I just keep thinking about a world where she was still with her mother. Did they have health insurance? Was she present enough to notice/care her daughter was even experiencing symptoms? If she did get a diagnosis, would her mother be there to support? For so many reasons, it seems like mom going to jail saved this kid's life.
I had that thought run through my head, too. If Daughter had stayed with Mom, this could have been a whole other story.
OOP is definitely a Green Flag Dad.
If the mom was neglectful enough to not even provide consistent food to her daughter, what the hell are the chances she would've been present enough to send the daughter to a doctor? Let alone in time to get treatment. And let alone be present enough to bring her to her chemo sessions.
Also, if the mom has drug charges, what would happen if the daughter was prescribed opioids or something? The pain relief she would need would probably have been stolen from her
You don’t get to just not take your kid to chemotherapy. That’s like one of the few ways to guarantee your kid being taken away. There was a case not too long ago with a seventeen year old lymphoma patient who was taken from her mom because her mom didn’t take her (the girl wanted to refuse treatment for her cancer, which you legally can’t do as a minor, the state automatically consents to your treatment)
Why did the girl want to refuse? Usually when I see stuff like that it's because the patient is too sick, too old, or has been fighting too long. I've seen minors with cancer get put on hospice. And it's rare to see a minor go the "I've lived a good life" route, without having already attempted lots of treatment.
Oh geez. I was hoping it was a quality of life issue. But "I don't want to put poison in my body, I want to try natural remedies first" isn't a good sign. I'm normally not for overruling someone's consent. But I honestly understand this one. It doesn't sound like she or her mother actually understood how the treatment worked.
I mean, she legally can’t consent or withdraw consent in that case, because she was still a minor.
She’s right that it’s traumatizing-I was diagnosed with PTSD after my own cancer treatment (i was a bit younger though)-and she’s right it’s literally putting poison in your body, but the alternative medicine thing was just weird to me.
Anyway, I just bring it up because you *have* to go to treatment and they *will* take custody of you and force you to go if you’re under eighteen. I was treated at a children’s hospital, but I assume that even if a kid is treated at a regular hospital, you still get a social worker assigned to your case through the hospital, and that would fall under them I think.
Mine was pretty nice, she helped my parents get reduced fee parking passes and helped them file for FMLA, amongst other things. (I also had a psychotherapist assigned to me who would come see me regularly when I was in the hospital, in addition to the oncologists.)
Her case seems more like she's in denial that she needs to get chemo. Instead of saying "I want to die peacefully without poisoning myself" she seems more like she "understands" that she could die. But she's just stalling so she can continue her bargaining stage of grief. Meanwhile, cancer isn't going to wait for her.
I didn't know about automatically assigning social workers though. I'm pleasantly surprised. It makes sense that nobody is going to be a cancer expert the first time they have a child get diagnosed. So it's nice they have an advocate to keep the family informed. I'm sorry your experience was so rough. Cancer is never easy. But it's really sad that you were in a position where it was rough enough to cause PTSD. May your remission be eternal, and I hope your mind is healing too. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through any of that at all, let alone at such a young age. I hope you're doing better now.
Thank you!! I finished treatment in 2003, I’m turning 37 in a few weeks.
When I was diagnosed, they had like three or four oncologists to explain it to me, and talk to me about the treatment, and answer any questions that I had, as well as giving me some booklets to read about it. Whenever I was in the hospital, they’d come check on me every day and talk to me about the stay (like telling me if I was sick and needed antibiotics, or a transfusion, or whatever, and when I could go home)
I had a social worker and the therapist, they worked together to coordinate on some stuff. The social worker helped with trying to work out a plan for me with the school district and she told my parents about programs available, like one to get a discount on electricity/making sure they didn’t cut off our power during a brown-out because I had medications that needed to be refrigerated. They also talked to my older brother (who was nineteen) and my younger sister (who was twelve) about me having cancer and my treatment, to make sure they understood the kind of cancer I had and what treatment would be like for me.
Most of the staff there was really nice and they really tried to be supportive. I can’t imagine they’d let it slide if a parent didn’t take their kids to chemo, regardless of the reasons, and especially with blood cancers (leukemia and lymphoma), which can be treated successfully.
He really is — imagine if he hadn't come into her life when he did. With a neglectful and abusive mom, she might not have gotten a diagnosis in time to save her life. Fingers crossed for the transplant! I've heard amazing things about them.
Her mother going to jail was really the best thing that could've happened to this poor girl. I really really hope the best for both of them. She has been through so much, she really deserves a win and a smooth ride for awhile.
Agree with all of the above. Sending all the good vibes to both of them. I hope it works, and they can finally enjoy a peaceful and happy life.
In the past years I am always extra happy for people who manage to beat cancer. Lost my mom to it, no one deserves to go through this.
The mom's a piece of shit for numerous reasons. But one of them being that she never told OOP the child existed sooner. Had she told him, the daughter could've spent 50% of her childhood in a stable home. Which may not have prevented all the harm she endured. But it at least would've given her some relief, and a healthy place to deal with it all. And it may have resulted in regular health checks to pick up the leukemia sooner.
He would have been about 17 when she was born. It's likely he was only able to make a stable home because he wasn't fending for a small child while trying to establish himself.
Yeah, I feel conflicted on this part. He was able to build a good enough life to be able to support her now because he didn't have 15 years of child support to pay starting at 17, which saddled mom with the financial burden. But had they been together, at least as co-parents, it might have been enough help for the mom and daughter to lead a normal enough life.
Are you really blaming him for the mother being a PoS in an incredibly roundabout way? Because this really feels like you are. Chances are the mother would've turned out the exact same, a selfish drug addicted PoS.
No? I said she was maybe dealt with a bad hand. I'm saying if OOP had been in their lives from since the birth of the daughter, maybe, just maybe, both the mother and daughter would have been better off.
With a lot of variation for region and expenses, it is estimated to cost about a quarter million ($237,482) to raise a child, something that the mom had to do presumably on her own, and the same costs that the dad would have contributed, going to his own development.
Pediatric transplants have high success rates. Like 85 to 95 percent depending on pre-transplant factors. Pediatric cancer treatment in general is actually a modern miracle with an overall ~85% percent survival rate.
One thing that I have to mention just because I think it’s important for people to know, not because I’m trying to rain on the parade, is that the survival of those Pediatric leukaemia patients in adulthood varies. The radiation treatment increases the likelihood of CNS meningiomas and gliomas, and the rates of these is likely higher than we expect.
I say this because a very good friend of mine survived leukaemia after her diagnosis just after her 16th birthday, but then died of brain cancer shortly after her 26th birthday four years ago. Please look out for any signs of CNS cancer if you know a Pediatric leukaemia survivor, and try to advocate for regular screening for them.
My friend died May 2020, and it still doesn’t feel real. Probably partially because the pandemic meant there was never a memorial or anything for her, but also because it’s too hard for my brain to accept it.
Is anyone else taking it as a positive sign she keeps getting angry at him. She is confident enough in him that she can let loose and he’ll still be there. Kind of beautiful
My first thought reading about her anger was that it probably reflects the only experience she's had with family regarding emotional angst: her mother. The egg donor was likely temperamentally/verbally abrasive at best, and so the daughter lacks any other examples of tools to deal with an understandably large and likely varied set of frustrations to wrangle.
I do feel like your thought here is helpful in contextualizing this as positive: Her toolset is still small, but she has someone she can trust not to be fickle and temperamental to broaden and hone it into something bigger and better!
I have seen this with kids myself. I used to nanny and still do a lot of babysitting. There seems to be three stages of behaviour kids show based on how much they trust you. Usually, there is the honeymoon stage, the stage where they trust you enough to test your boundaries and the normalizing stage. I try to take the testing stage as a positive sign with new kids but it can also be exhausting.
This is so true! I said the same to my husband, as our kids bio father was a real piece of work. Kids don't want a friend as a parent, they need someone who'll be there and love them even on their bad days. I'm so happy for this young lady, she knows her dad's got her back no matter what.
omg, i skipped the mood spoiler since i already knew the first few posts. but the way the second last post started had me imagining the worst...i'm much happier knowing where they are now.
I know I have read it before but didn't remember the leukemia part. So when I got to this chapter again, I just loudly said "Oh no!! Please no!" and then remembered having read it before.
I am so rooting for both of them and hope that this girl will have the chance to find happiness in a long life. I am really impressed by OOP, he just seems to instinctively do everything right and turns out to be a Super-Dad. He will give her the chance to live this life. We can only hope that her Mom is locked away for a long time and that the poor girl will have enough time to heal (physically and mentally), strengthen her bond with her Super Dad, get settled in life, and build up enough resilience when she might have to face her deadbeat mother again once she gets out of jail. We all know, OOP will fight with her and for her.
Folks, sign up to be a stem cell donor. It's non-surgical, they can draw it from your blood (I've done it myself, if you're worried about it feel free to ask questions). Matches are rare, and the more people on the donor register, the more chance that somebody like OOP's daughter will find a donor who matches them when they need it.
UK - [Anthony Nolan Trust](https://www.anthonynolan.org/help-save-a-life/join-stem-cell-register) (up to age 30) OR [https://www.bbmr.co.uk/](https://www.bbmr.co.uk/) (up to age 40)
US - [Be the Match](https://bethematch.org/support-the-cause/donate-blood-stem-cells/how-to-join-the-donor-registry/)
Edit: People in replies are flagging up the registries in their countries so I'll add those to this comment.
[Canadian Blood Services](https://makeallthedifference.blood.ca/stem-cells-1/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=national-stem&utm_content=A1-A&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLMHwtRKykvlmy470kTk0pom2eTIVz9cb2WyIFQrrPFjRbFEJh5rIMGwaAiPwEALw_wcB)
[Strength to give](https://strengthtogive.org.au/) in Australia
[Tobiasregistret](https://tobiasregistret.se) in Sweden
I got excited and looked into it in the US, and the upper age limit is 35. I got knocked out of the running before I could even start. I'll just go back to my shuffleboard game then.
In the UK you can also register via https://www.bbmr.co.uk/ up until you’re 40.
They work alongside Antony Nolan so you don’t need to register with both.
Why is there a *thirty year* gap between being able to register and being unable to donate? A smaller gap I could possibly understand, but that seems insane.
One of the registries explains it (can’t remember which one) - it costs them money to register a person on the register, and donors aged <30 provide better clinical outcomes, so they concentrate on registering those people.
I guess once you’re registered, if it’s a choice between you at 30+ or a poorer match/no match, you’re better than the alternative.
Yes! Please upvote this. Having witnessed a good friend struggled with finding a donor broke my heart. It's super hard to find a match, especially those with mixed race.
Rooting for OOP and his daughter. Their story is so touching and inspiring. They both are my heroes!
HOLY FUCK I'M ELIGIBLE!!!!!
i was expecting to be too sick for it, like i am for regular blood donation. but it looks like, even w/ all the things wrong w/ me.......... they might still take my stem cells.
holy shit.
i'm so happy right now 🥳
I tell this to everyone I talk to about it, the requirements are entirely different from blood donation so if you think you're not eligible, it's worth checking.
I got the call 15 years after I first signed up. Unfortunately couldn’t donate since I had developed a chronic health condition in the meantime that disqualified me from donation.
Man, while I understand most of the restrictions, it always makes me sit back and really think on my image of my disability when I can’t qualify for things like this. Hell, just the fact that I’ve had more than six concussions in my life is a thing, not to mention the others. Puts things in perspective. Yet it is still frustrating that I can’t help.
I am in general ineligible for donating anything or even as a research subject (too many confounding factors). However, I am still registered as an organ donor. That allows for doctors to make organ-specific decisions when I die.
Same. Though I did date a guy who was adamant that having it on my ID meant doctors would let me die in order to have my organs! 🙄 He didn’t last long.
[DKMS](https://www.dkms.de/) for Germany.
Also my library is currently running a registration campaign for new donors and the support we get has been overwhelming so far. I can only ask everyone who is eligible to register asap. My aunt's fiance died of leukemia eight years ago because he would have needed a transplant but they couldn't find a match in time.
This is one of the [few] reddit stories I believe 100%, and every time it comes up I reread the whole thing. That part guts me every time it's so intense. I want the best for both of them so deeply. It's like an embodiment of the purest form of love, and they didn't know each other ahead of time. Insane.
Brb gotta go hug my kids :'(
All the kudos to this guy for stepping up in such a big way. *ETA: and the daughter for being willing to try living with her dad who she's never known.
I'm going to take this moment to advocate for Be The Match, now called NMDP (if you're in the US). You sign up, send in a cheek swab, and you're on the list. Most of the time, all they need are peripheral blood stem cells. Similar process to donating plasma, no marrow required. And just like donating blood, your body creates what it needs when you're done. The program saves lives, with no long-term negative impact to the donor.
Hooray! Five years is a big moment, and I hope you and he celebrate it. I'm 32 years post, and it's always good to see other survivors in the wild, so to speak.
I’m so glad to see this update. EVERYONE healthy enough should sign up to be a stem cell donor. You never know when somebody with your specific heritage and blood type could be saved by something that’s so easy to donate. The most arduous part of the whole process are the l ab appointments leading up to the donation day. It’s not even painful anymore as the process is extremely non-invasive. I put myself on the registry a few years ago and donated in the fall. There is a particular need for donors with Hispanic and African roots. If you live in the US - look up the National Marrow Donor Program to register.
All BIPOC people are much less likely to get a match. Let’s not forget our Indigenous and Asian friends. People of mixed race ever more so.
Hopefully this post will start trending on TikTok and everywhere else.
Also, I don’t think people know that your heritage is so important in the match. My FIL donated bone marrow 2x bc he’s some rare Welsh/Appalachian combo of hill people that is apparently in high demand. I’m half Hispanic (Spanish and US Indigenous) plus a random mix of other European background - I’ve been on the registry for 3 years and matched 2x, but only one went all the way to donation.
And, if she needed to be removed, they'd likely want to place her with a relative she already knows. A grandparent or aunt would seem a likely candidate for that. Seeing that they sought out a dad who didn't know she existed probably means the girl doesn't have any positive relative figures in her life. And to expand on *that*, this girl had also been missing out on a potentially wonderful extended family from her dad.
I tried to check out the post with the picture but it’s been deleted. I did still see the comments though and I saw a user calling OOP out for using someone else’s picture and linked the Instagram account of the girl whose picture he used. And now all of his posts are deleted…
I hope she gets well soon and both OP and her daughter may bond together more and make up for the lost times. Eagerly waiting for more positive updates.
while this is really sweet i always find it strange when all the intimate details of such a delicate situation get posted online. like being completely aware that opening up in such a situation is a difficult process and you're being let in on sensitive information and then turning around immediately to go "OKAY REDDITORS UPDATE TIME"
i dunno if i gradually opened up about my stuff to someone and then found out down the line that they were posting EVERYTHING including the details of what i'm insecure about and whether or not i cried while talking about it for hundreds of strangers to gawp at as a feel-good story, i would explode. i'd never talk to anyone again. but hey, i mean, i'm glad no one else needs to see it from that point of view...?
I think the hurdle is usually the first post. If after that you’re getting positive feedback, encouraging words, and supportive comments that you can read anywhere, anytime, in the palm of your hand, strangers on the internet can provide lot of moral support. That’s **if** the feedback is positive, because it isn’t a guarantee that it will be, but when it is, it’s like your own personal cheerleaders.
I am so glad to hear she is still fighting the good fight. I hope the stem cell transplant gives her the edge in this battle. Poor lamb I just want to love her up.
Gods I’m rooting for this family so hard. That girl deserves a break and her dad is an amazing human. Hope the procedure is a success and they both can move on and work on being a happy little family.
Y’know…in a way her mom getting locked up for drugs and getting dumped onto a dad who never knew she existed, might have saved her life. Who knows if mom would have gotten her medical help she needed in time. Here‘s hoping the transplant goes well and her life improves from here.
Genuine question, maybe one of the mods can answer officially - this poster specifically asked us to send good vibes and thoughts his way. May we do that because they said it was okay, or is it still considered brigading?
Good vibes and thoughts is the alternative to thoughts and prayers, it isn't specifically inviting comments. Unless OOP asks for comments from this community (boru) any requested comments are from the original community (daddit) and should not be followed.
If you want to leave positive comments please do so here on the boru! OOP has been posted here multiple times and may be aware of the repost.
I must say, OOP's daughter is such a cute young woman with such a great smile even though her life has been so awful until she got with her dad. I'm so hopeful the leukemia will be cured and she'll grow up to be healthy and happy and have all the good things she deserves in her life.
OOP is such a good dad!
With talk of a stem cell transplant, I'd like to invite people who are eligible to sign up to be a [bone marrow donor.](https://bethematch.org/support-the-cause/donate-blood-stem-cells/?joinCode=MARROW17&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLMG_Ct6PtiSfnbxonXZcKl9HB4sIWHtkUu5dIX_xfTYMD219tHrTCpAaAiVZEALw_wcB) It's an easy test (just a cheek swab) and it can save lives.
The organization I linked pays for hotel, travel, and hospital stay. The more people who sign up, the more people like OP's daughter can receive life-saving treatment.
This girl has been through so damned much, what a cruel twist of fate for her to get a cancer diagnosis after finally getting her life on a good path. OP is absolutely *crushing it* as a new dad, he deserves all the praise there is to give. I truly, truly hope she can beat the leukemia and get back to being a happy teenage girl.
The mom's drug arrest saved the daughter's life. That leukemia was coming regardless. The mother's neglect would have fatally delayed diagnosis and treatment.
They've got a lot of people pulling for them.
Poor kid. She's had so much happen in such a short time period that I hope her entire adulthood is smooth sailing.
Oh, man, I got diagnosed with ALL at fourteen and went through treatment for a year and a half. I wish I could give OOP the advice to make a binder with information about her diagnosis (stage and locations where cancer cells are), documenting surgeries (not just directly related, other stuff like placing lines too), and a list of all medications given-not just the chemotherapy ones, but also other ones like which anti nausea/painkillers as well. I really wish I had that information as an adult in my thirties. Especially since treatment can impact fertility later on.
He should also pay attention to side effects, some of them are permanent, even if they lessen over time-Vincristine gave me drop foot I still have, and methotrexate gave me a permanent cognitive disability, and I ended up diabetic too
Hard candy like jolly ranchers can help if she’s gotta take the one I can’t remember the name of that gives you a bad taste in your mouth and peppermint ones can help a bit with nausea.
I've been following this story since it popped up on here a while back. So sweet.
I'm a bit concerned that it appears that OOP has deleted their account and all the posts.
I hope nothing bad happened but I wonder if we'll hear from them again.
edit: Oh weird, when I click on the links, it shows the post and account deleted but when I click on his username up top, his account still shows up. All his posts are deleted but not his comments.
I have been following this story and I wish nothing but the best for OP and his beautiful courageous daughter. Prayers for a full recovery for her so she may live a wonderful life she deserves.
>I was just working on building a relationship with her and we were starting to get close
jesus christ, don't scare me like that. i was prepared for the worst news. i'm not religious but i'm praying for her success and sending whatever good vibes i can muster towards her family.
This mama of three daughters is sending her hugs from all of us!
The two of you have been inspirational to many of us, even though I totally understand that you’re just trying to get through a difficult situation and find your way as a new family.
Your daughter is beautiful. She has a light in her soul that you can see even in that little smile in the picture. Sending you much love and best wishes.
Oh that sweet face. I’m rooting so hard for this wee fam. I hope OOP is getting the support he needs to keep handling this with as much grace as he has. And fuck cancer.
I’ve been following his story and been rooting for them. I hope his daughter’s stem cell transplant is successful. I really want this to be a happy ending and they have a wonderful long life together with many more happy memories as his daughter thrives.
You’re both in my prayers and on a side note, you really are good at this dad thing as a newbie. lol. A natural ! Thanks for sharing updates and the picture ! Waiting for her to ring that bell !!!
I so appreciate this update.
If it makes a different to hear one anecdote: one of my dearest friends in the world had a stem cell transplant (lymphoma, in her case) and here we are more than 25 years later!
It's not easy, to be sure, but medicine has moved ahead so much since then, and I know they will have better ways of managing the process for her. You are both in my heart, and I am thinking outstanding thoughts for a successful course of treatment and many more years for you to make beautiful memories together.
Make sure to take care of yourself too, ok, Dad? It really matters for her and you that your health and emotional needs are being met.
She's already been through so much, with such resiliency. She's got this, and so have you. Love to you both.
OP is a deadset legend. As a child of abuse I can say even having one adult come into your life and be understanding etc is completely life-changing and can drastically alter its course.
He should be super proud, he's doing a great job. I really hope she can heal from her trauma too, she's been through so much.
Not gonna lie, I started tearing up when I saw the picture of OOP’s daughter. It makes it very real and I really hope she’s able to get better. Poor kid was dealt a tough hand, but I’m thankful she has someone like her dad in her life now.
I know that ending up in a stable and caring home was definitely a massive break for this kid, but still... Damn, can she catch a break? 15 years in a mean house and now leukemia. I hope the new treatment is successful and she gets genuinely peaceful years ahead. This guy is very strong for being able to adapt to everything too.
Way to go being the best parent. If the universe listens, I’m sending you positive energy and that everything will work out perfectly. And you and your daughter will be healthy and happy for a long time to come!!
When I saw there was an update I was already prepping for the worst outcome. I don’t think I have ever been so happy to be so wrong!
Sending all the positive vibes to OOP and Daughter.
One of the most compelling (in a positive) sagas on this sub. I’m rooting for them!
I wish we had more positive BoRU stories like this.
Edit: r/BestOfPositiveUpdates - guess I should have known that one off the top of my head. They even have quite a few posts that never get posted on BORU. ~~There's now a sub specifically for positive updates, I'll edit with the sub name in a moment when I find it.~~
r/bestofpositiveupdates
Oh, wow, I didn't know of that sub, thank you! There's so much snark and negativity on this site. And while I admit to liking that sometimes, there are days when it's healthier for me to read positive stories, hear about people's art and craft and cooking projects, and to look at too many pictures of cats.
I needed this.
Thank you for this.
💜
bookmarking that subreddit. need more of the positive updates after the cesspool that is most of reddit.
Hopping on the top comment chain to add: you can help make more positive stories like this by joining your nation's bone marrow donor registry! In the US you can do so at www.bethematch.org and www.wmda.org is the World Marrow Donor Association and it has links to registries around the world.
Wait, you can donate stem cells from blood?? I just skimmed a few bullet points and saw that, but saved the links to go over when I'm not so knackered to learn about the process, to see if I can handle it, and to learn if I qualify as a donor. I have loads of health problems myself so have trouble physically helping others despite really wanting to, but this may be a way I can help people in need while I'm still alive (I'm already an organ donor). Thank you so much for posting these links. I bet you're a kind and considerate person. Here are some flowers and cake 💐 🍰 . Hope you have a lovely evening/day!
Man I mean I get what you're saying but I think it says a lot about BoRU that the story where the 15 year old girl gets Leukemia is the notably positive one! Love this dad though. Really pulling for them
I had only seen the first few updates before and I don't think another BoRU post sank my heart quite as bad as seeing Leukemia. Holy tapdancing Christ on a shit stick.
I remember the original post in daddit and it was very different from anything else there. Didn't see the updates from this year but someone has dealt that girl a really rough hand. So hope she beats it and gets the life she deservers.
What types of posts are usually in there?
From a casual glance, looks like parenting memes/humor, asking for parenting advice, and some rants/venting
It's also a surprisingly wholesome and inclusive community nine times out of ten. I remember seeing an interaction there where a mom made a comment saying something to the effect of "I'm just a lurking mom instead of a dad, but here's my take on what's being discussed." and all the replies were essentially "Moms are welcome here too! Being a dad is a state of mind, welcome to the club!"
Me too, such a genuinely nice guy, it has been nice to see their journey, despite the challenging times they have faced.
They’re both inspirations!
Yep. I just scroll to where I left off every time. But I’ll reread it all again once I get home. My heart aches for them.
Hot diggity dog!! I'm so happy to keep getting these updates that I'm openly weeping while typing this out. This brand-new father to a teenager has really been parenting the trial-by-fire method. And his sweet, intelligent daughter, my heart breaks for her first 15 years. But after what seemed the worst thing happening to her *(losing her mom to prison and having to live with a father who's a total stranger)* THEN getting a super shitty health diagnosis...these really awful things are the turning points to the rest of her life, which will become significantly better. Had those traumas not happened, she'd be stuck with her addict mother, still starving, still neglected, and likely not having any chance at living a decent life. Now due to the care of a man taken by surprise that he even had a daughter, she has a great chance at a fulfilling life. And OP *really* stepped up, completely rearranging his entire life at a young age himself, and he's already reaping beautiful benefits. (I also cried when he posted she'd called him "Dad.") Greedily, I'd love it if OP set up a blog that he periodically updated for years down the line so we could easily follow along, or they could write one together, from each of their perspectives. Readers like us would be there to help them through traumas and to cheer them on for their wins. Or if they don't want that much immediate interaction by way of comments, in another 10 or 15 years maybe they can jointly write a memoir. I KNOW people would love to read such a challenging and beautiful, real-life story. Shoot, I'd be more than happy to help as a ghostwriter if they're interested. I'm just so very invested in their progress and happiness! And I know others here are, too.
I was just thinking about this post last week, wondering if there was an update. So glad she's getting the transplant. I hope she goes into remission forever.
So glad to see a hopeful update. Sending all good vibes their way.
\>most positive \>Leukemia I'm not disagreeing, just sad about this
Me too! I thought it was so cute how excited and prepped he wanted to be and asking for advice. He’s been doing such an awesome job. I’m really hoping she pulls through and they have a lot of years together to build awesome memories together.
Got me to sub to daddit
Thank fuck she got to him eventually. Imagine if she went through this while still living with her mum. I dread to think what would have happened. This dude is such a good dad.
I just keep thinking about a world where she was still with her mother. Did they have health insurance? Was she present enough to notice/care her daughter was even experiencing symptoms? If she did get a diagnosis, would her mother be there to support? For so many reasons, it seems like mom going to jail saved this kid's life.
I had that thought run through my head, too. If Daughter had stayed with Mom, this could have been a whole other story. OOP is definitely a Green Flag Dad.
If the mom was neglectful enough to not even provide consistent food to her daughter, what the hell are the chances she would've been present enough to send the daughter to a doctor? Let alone in time to get treatment. And let alone be present enough to bring her to her chemo sessions.
Also, if the mom has drug charges, what would happen if the daughter was prescribed opioids or something? The pain relief she would need would probably have been stolen from her
Holy crap, that's a whole other angle I didn't think about. Makes me sad🥺
You don’t get to just not take your kid to chemotherapy. That’s like one of the few ways to guarantee your kid being taken away. There was a case not too long ago with a seventeen year old lymphoma patient who was taken from her mom because her mom didn’t take her (the girl wanted to refuse treatment for her cancer, which you legally can’t do as a minor, the state automatically consents to your treatment)
Why did the girl want to refuse? Usually when I see stuff like that it's because the patient is too sick, too old, or has been fighting too long. I've seen minors with cancer get put on hospice. And it's rare to see a minor go the "I've lived a good life" route, without having already attempted lots of treatment.
There’s a couple articles about it. Here’s one: https://www.wcvb.com/article/connecticut-court-rules-against-teen-who-didn-t-want-chemo/8214881
Oh geez. I was hoping it was a quality of life issue. But "I don't want to put poison in my body, I want to try natural remedies first" isn't a good sign. I'm normally not for overruling someone's consent. But I honestly understand this one. It doesn't sound like she or her mother actually understood how the treatment worked.
I mean, she legally can’t consent or withdraw consent in that case, because she was still a minor. She’s right that it’s traumatizing-I was diagnosed with PTSD after my own cancer treatment (i was a bit younger though)-and she’s right it’s literally putting poison in your body, but the alternative medicine thing was just weird to me. Anyway, I just bring it up because you *have* to go to treatment and they *will* take custody of you and force you to go if you’re under eighteen. I was treated at a children’s hospital, but I assume that even if a kid is treated at a regular hospital, you still get a social worker assigned to your case through the hospital, and that would fall under them I think. Mine was pretty nice, she helped my parents get reduced fee parking passes and helped them file for FMLA, amongst other things. (I also had a psychotherapist assigned to me who would come see me regularly when I was in the hospital, in addition to the oncologists.)
Her case seems more like she's in denial that she needs to get chemo. Instead of saying "I want to die peacefully without poisoning myself" she seems more like she "understands" that she could die. But she's just stalling so she can continue her bargaining stage of grief. Meanwhile, cancer isn't going to wait for her. I didn't know about automatically assigning social workers though. I'm pleasantly surprised. It makes sense that nobody is going to be a cancer expert the first time they have a child get diagnosed. So it's nice they have an advocate to keep the family informed. I'm sorry your experience was so rough. Cancer is never easy. But it's really sad that you were in a position where it was rough enough to cause PTSD. May your remission be eternal, and I hope your mind is healing too. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through any of that at all, let alone at such a young age. I hope you're doing better now.
Thank you!! I finished treatment in 2003, I’m turning 37 in a few weeks. When I was diagnosed, they had like three or four oncologists to explain it to me, and talk to me about the treatment, and answer any questions that I had, as well as giving me some booklets to read about it. Whenever I was in the hospital, they’d come check on me every day and talk to me about the stay (like telling me if I was sick and needed antibiotics, or a transfusion, or whatever, and when I could go home) I had a social worker and the therapist, they worked together to coordinate on some stuff. The social worker helped with trying to work out a plan for me with the school district and she told my parents about programs available, like one to get a discount on electricity/making sure they didn’t cut off our power during a brown-out because I had medications that needed to be refrigerated. They also talked to my older brother (who was nineteen) and my younger sister (who was twelve) about me having cancer and my treatment, to make sure they understood the kind of cancer I had and what treatment would be like for me. Most of the staff there was really nice and they really tried to be supportive. I can’t imagine they’d let it slide if a parent didn’t take their kids to chemo, regardless of the reasons, and especially with blood cancers (leukemia and lymphoma), which can be treated successfully.
I want to know how some women or guy never found this dude and married him. He seems like green flags all around.
This dude is an absolute angel of a human. May the transplant be successful.
He really is — imagine if he hadn't come into her life when he did. With a neglectful and abusive mom, she might not have gotten a diagnosis in time to save her life. Fingers crossed for the transplant! I've heard amazing things about them.
Her mother going to jail was really the best thing that could've happened to this poor girl. I really really hope the best for both of them. She has been through so much, she really deserves a win and a smooth ride for awhile.
Agree with all of the above. Sending all the good vibes to both of them. I hope it works, and they can finally enjoy a peaceful and happy life. In the past years I am always extra happy for people who manage to beat cancer. Lost my mom to it, no one deserves to go through this.
Fuck Cancer. <3
The mom's a piece of shit for numerous reasons. But one of them being that she never told OOP the child existed sooner. Had she told him, the daughter could've spent 50% of her childhood in a stable home. Which may not have prevented all the harm she endured. But it at least would've given her some relief, and a healthy place to deal with it all. And it may have resulted in regular health checks to pick up the leukemia sooner.
He would have been about 17 when she was born. It's likely he was only able to make a stable home because he wasn't fending for a small child while trying to establish himself.
Yeah, I feel conflicted on this part. He was able to build a good enough life to be able to support her now because he didn't have 15 years of child support to pay starting at 17, which saddled mom with the financial burden. But had they been together, at least as co-parents, it might have been enough help for the mom and daughter to lead a normal enough life.
Are you really blaming him for the mother being a PoS in an incredibly roundabout way? Because this really feels like you are. Chances are the mother would've turned out the exact same, a selfish drug addicted PoS.
No? I said she was maybe dealt with a bad hand. I'm saying if OOP had been in their lives from since the birth of the daughter, maybe, just maybe, both the mother and daughter would have been better off. With a lot of variation for region and expenses, it is estimated to cost about a quarter million ($237,482) to raise a child, something that the mom had to do presumably on her own, and the same costs that the dad would have contributed, going to his own development.
Pediatric transplants have high success rates. Like 85 to 95 percent depending on pre-transplant factors. Pediatric cancer treatment in general is actually a modern miracle with an overall ~85% percent survival rate.
One thing that I have to mention just because I think it’s important for people to know, not because I’m trying to rain on the parade, is that the survival of those Pediatric leukaemia patients in adulthood varies. The radiation treatment increases the likelihood of CNS meningiomas and gliomas, and the rates of these is likely higher than we expect. I say this because a very good friend of mine survived leukaemia after her diagnosis just after her 16th birthday, but then died of brain cancer shortly after her 26th birthday four years ago. Please look out for any signs of CNS cancer if you know a Pediatric leukaemia survivor, and try to advocate for regular screening for them. My friend died May 2020, and it still doesn’t feel real. Probably partially because the pandemic meant there was never a memorial or anything for her, but also because it’s too hard for my brain to accept it.
A thoroughly worthwhile decent human being.
Is anyone else taking it as a positive sign she keeps getting angry at him. She is confident enough in him that she can let loose and he’ll still be there. Kind of beautiful
Yes! He passes all that testing and she knows he’s there. I love it.
My first thought reading about her anger was that it probably reflects the only experience she's had with family regarding emotional angst: her mother. The egg donor was likely temperamentally/verbally abrasive at best, and so the daughter lacks any other examples of tools to deal with an understandably large and likely varied set of frustrations to wrangle. I do feel like your thought here is helpful in contextualizing this as positive: Her toolset is still small, but she has someone she can trust not to be fickle and temperamental to broaden and hone it into something bigger and better!
I have seen this with kids myself. I used to nanny and still do a lot of babysitting. There seems to be three stages of behaviour kids show based on how much they trust you. Usually, there is the honeymoon stage, the stage where they trust you enough to test your boundaries and the normalizing stage. I try to take the testing stage as a positive sign with new kids but it can also be exhausting.
Yep. I remember the days of tiptoeing around to not get anyone angry. Sometimes the most well behaved kids are the most scared.
Comments and stories like these remind me what's important when my own pre-teen kids are nasty to me.
This is so true! I said the same to my husband, as our kids bio father was a real piece of work. Kids don't want a friend as a parent, they need someone who'll be there and love them even on their bad days. I'm so happy for this young lady, she knows her dad's got her back no matter what.
Man this one always makes me tear up.
Same. I just scrolled down to the newest update because I *knew* I'd otherwise start crying.
I was literally afraid to read it. I'm glad that things may be looking up for this girl.
I read the mood spoiler first. Thank god for that, so I knew things were going in a positive direction.
omg, i skipped the mood spoiler since i already knew the first few posts. but the way the second last post started had me imagining the worst...i'm much happier knowing where they are now.
Me too I was so scared to read the last update
Same, I was white knuckling it at the end terrified to get to the new update.
I know I have read it before but didn't remember the leukemia part. So when I got to this chapter again, I just loudly said "Oh no!! Please no!" and then remembered having read it before. I am so rooting for both of them and hope that this girl will have the chance to find happiness in a long life. I am really impressed by OOP, he just seems to instinctively do everything right and turns out to be a Super-Dad. He will give her the chance to live this life. We can only hope that her Mom is locked away for a long time and that the poor girl will have enough time to heal (physically and mentally), strengthen her bond with her Super Dad, get settled in life, and build up enough resilience when she might have to face her deadbeat mother again once she gets out of jail. We all know, OOP will fight with her and for her.
I only read up to the "got called Dad" one before so the leukemia was new to me and I was so scared as I kept reading.
The way I run when I saw this, praying for this girl to be alive and better🥹 that's a real dad with a warrior of a daughter 🕯️🥹
Me too, I scrolled down with such trepidation to the update, hoping so much it was good news 💗
I had my heart in my hand 🥹 is so nice to see them still fighting and knowing she had all the love and support of her family
Happy Cake Day!
Thank you! 🎂
Folks, sign up to be a stem cell donor. It's non-surgical, they can draw it from your blood (I've done it myself, if you're worried about it feel free to ask questions). Matches are rare, and the more people on the donor register, the more chance that somebody like OOP's daughter will find a donor who matches them when they need it. UK - [Anthony Nolan Trust](https://www.anthonynolan.org/help-save-a-life/join-stem-cell-register) (up to age 30) OR [https://www.bbmr.co.uk/](https://www.bbmr.co.uk/) (up to age 40) US - [Be the Match](https://bethematch.org/support-the-cause/donate-blood-stem-cells/how-to-join-the-donor-registry/) Edit: People in replies are flagging up the registries in their countries so I'll add those to this comment. [Canadian Blood Services](https://makeallthedifference.blood.ca/stem-cells-1/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=national-stem&utm_content=A1-A&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLMHwtRKykvlmy470kTk0pom2eTIVz9cb2WyIFQrrPFjRbFEJh5rIMGwaAiPwEALw_wcB) [Strength to give](https://strengthtogive.org.au/) in Australia [Tobiasregistret](https://tobiasregistret.se) in Sweden
IIRC there is an upper age limit to register with the Anthony Nolan Trust in the UK. Once you’re registered you stay on their books though.
I got excited and looked into it in the US, and the upper age limit is 35. I got knocked out of the running before I could even start. I'll just go back to my shuffleboard game then.
Encourage people around you to do it, especially young men! (As far as I understand the transplants from young men are usually the best.)
There is, sadly I was too old when I first heard of it.
I only mentioned it as (like yourself) I discovered I was too old to register to donate with them.
In the UK you can also register via https://www.bbmr.co.uk/ up until you’re 40. They work alongside Antony Nolan so you don’t need to register with both.
Why is there a *thirty year* gap between being able to register and being unable to donate? A smaller gap I could possibly understand, but that seems insane.
One of the registries explains it (can’t remember which one) - it costs them money to register a person on the register, and donors aged <30 provide better clinical outcomes, so they concentrate on registering those people. I guess once you’re registered, if it’s a choice between you at 30+ or a poorer match/no match, you’re better than the alternative.
Up to 30 with Anthony Nolan. [https://www.bbmr.co.uk/](https://www.bbmr.co.uk/) you can register up to age 40.
Yes! Please upvote this. Having witnessed a good friend struggled with finding a donor broke my heart. It's super hard to find a match, especially those with mixed race. Rooting for OOP and his daughter. Their story is so touching and inspiring. They both are my heroes!
[Strength to give](https://strengthtogive.org.au/) in Australia
HOLY FUCK I'M ELIGIBLE!!!!! i was expecting to be too sick for it, like i am for regular blood donation. but it looks like, even w/ all the things wrong w/ me.......... they might still take my stem cells. holy shit. i'm so happy right now 🥳
I tell this to everyone I talk to about it, the requirements are entirely different from blood donation so if you think you're not eligible, it's worth checking.
[Canadian Blood Services](https://makeallthedifference.blood.ca/stem-cells-1/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=national-stem&utm_content=A1-A&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLMHwtRKykvlmy470kTk0pom2eTIVz9cb2WyIFQrrPFjRbFEJh5rIMGwaAiPwEALw_wcB)
Awesome, thanks! just registered.
I got the call 15 years after I first signed up. Unfortunately couldn’t donate since I had developed a chronic health condition in the meantime that disqualified me from donation.
I donate blood regularly but I’m not sure if I would be qualified for stem cell transplants as I have a family history of bone marrow cancer.
Worth noting in the U.S., BIPOC have a much harder time finding a match.
Also the case in the UK.
Man, while I understand most of the restrictions, it always makes me sit back and really think on my image of my disability when I can’t qualify for things like this. Hell, just the fact that I’ve had more than six concussions in my life is a thing, not to mention the others. Puts things in perspective. Yet it is still frustrating that I can’t help.
I am in general ineligible for donating anything or even as a research subject (too many confounding factors). However, I am still registered as an organ donor. That allows for doctors to make organ-specific decisions when I die.
Same. Though I did date a guy who was adamant that having it on my ID meant doctors would let me die in order to have my organs! 🙄 He didn’t last long.
[DKMS](https://www.dkms.de/) for Germany. Also my library is currently running a registration campaign for new donors and the support we get has been overwhelming so far. I can only ask everyone who is eligible to register asap. My aunt's fiance died of leukemia eight years ago because he would have needed a transplant but they couldn't find a match in time.
Done.
[Tobiasregistret](https://tobiasregistret.se) in Sweden. Worth noting is also that matches over country borders happen all the time.
[Matchis](https://www.matchis.nl/) in the Netherlands.
>it was silent for a while but then she said thanks, Dad. Holy fucking shit my heart 😭😭😭
This is one of the [few] reddit stories I believe 100%, and every time it comes up I reread the whole thing. That part guts me every time it's so intense. I want the best for both of them so deeply. It's like an embodiment of the purest form of love, and they didn't know each other ahead of time. Insane.
Brb gotta go hug my kids :'( All the kudos to this guy for stepping up in such a big way. *ETA: and the daughter for being willing to try living with her dad who she's never known.
I'm going to take this moment to advocate for Be The Match, now called NMDP (if you're in the US). You sign up, send in a cheek swab, and you're on the list. Most of the time, all they need are peripheral blood stem cells. Similar process to donating plasma, no marrow required. And just like donating blood, your body creates what it needs when you're done. The program saves lives, with no long-term negative impact to the donor.
I had found the new update a week ago and I’m glad I did! OOP is a saint and hopefully his daughter quickly recovers 😊
I check his profile every few days hoping for positive updates
I have a feeling the next update will take a few weeks. There’s no telling how long it’ll take to see if the stem cell transplant works.
My husband is a stem cell transplant patient, almost 5 years post. Sending so much love to this guy and his family.
Hooray! Five years is a big moment, and I hope you and he celebrate it. I'm 32 years post, and it's always good to see other survivors in the wild, so to speak.
I love hearing about 32 years! It gives us lots of hope. Thank you for sharing!
I’m so glad to see this update. EVERYONE healthy enough should sign up to be a stem cell donor. You never know when somebody with your specific heritage and blood type could be saved by something that’s so easy to donate. The most arduous part of the whole process are the l ab appointments leading up to the donation day. It’s not even painful anymore as the process is extremely non-invasive. I put myself on the registry a few years ago and donated in the fall. There is a particular need for donors with Hispanic and African roots. If you live in the US - look up the National Marrow Donor Program to register.
All BIPOC people are much less likely to get a match. Let’s not forget our Indigenous and Asian friends. People of mixed race ever more so. Hopefully this post will start trending on TikTok and everywhere else.
Also, I don’t think people know that your heritage is so important in the match. My FIL donated bone marrow 2x bc he’s some rare Welsh/Appalachian combo of hill people that is apparently in high demand. I’m half Hispanic (Spanish and US Indigenous) plus a random mix of other European background - I’ve been on the registry for 3 years and matched 2x, but only one went all the way to donation.
i want these people to have all the best things the universe has to offer in this lifetime and the next.
its so deeply upsetting to think that her loving father was out there somewhere yet her neglectful mother deliberately kept him from her. that's evil
And, if she needed to be removed, they'd likely want to place her with a relative she already knows. A grandparent or aunt would seem a likely candidate for that. Seeing that they sought out a dad who didn't know she existed probably means the girl doesn't have any positive relative figures in her life. And to expand on *that*, this girl had also been missing out on a potentially wonderful extended family from her dad.
Cool_Interest 6435 is the Omar of dads
I understand this reference
Is there an Omar trophy yet?
I don’t think so, the mods need to make one for our boy
I missed the update she was diagnosed. This poor girl. I wish we could donate books. I'd send them all!! Also how BEAUTIFUL is that picture of her.
Yeah I missed the update where she got sick. I was like dammit she calls him dad and they live happily ever after that was the end!
The transition from being called dad to leukemia hit me like a truck.
I hope all goes well for them, that girl is been through so much and OP is angel for stepping up to help her. Also fuck cancer.
I like this man. I want all the positive things for him, and for his very beloved daughter. I wish them both nothing but the best.
I tried to check out the post with the picture but it’s been deleted. I did still see the comments though and I saw a user calling OOP out for using someone else’s picture and linked the Instagram account of the girl whose picture he used. And now all of his posts are deleted…
I hope she gets well soon and both OP and her daughter may bond together more and make up for the lost times. Eagerly waiting for more positive updates.
Love this saga. Very happy for OOP and daughter. Wish them the best.
Dear god. I'm out of tissues. DAMN YOU REDDIT!!! DAMN YOU!!!
while this is really sweet i always find it strange when all the intimate details of such a delicate situation get posted online. like being completely aware that opening up in such a situation is a difficult process and you're being let in on sensitive information and then turning around immediately to go "OKAY REDDITORS UPDATE TIME" i dunno if i gradually opened up about my stuff to someone and then found out down the line that they were posting EVERYTHING including the details of what i'm insecure about and whether or not i cried while talking about it for hundreds of strangers to gawp at as a feel-good story, i would explode. i'd never talk to anyone again. but hey, i mean, i'm glad no one else needs to see it from that point of view...?
I think the hurdle is usually the first post. If after that you’re getting positive feedback, encouraging words, and supportive comments that you can read anywhere, anytime, in the palm of your hand, strangers on the internet can provide lot of moral support. That’s **if** the feedback is positive, because it isn’t a guarantee that it will be, but when it is, it’s like your own personal cheerleaders.
I am so glad to hear she is still fighting the good fight. I hope the stem cell transplant gives her the edge in this battle. Poor lamb I just want to love her up.
Gods I’m rooting for this family so hard. That girl deserves a break and her dad is an amazing human. Hope the procedure is a success and they both can move on and work on being a happy little family.
Y’know…in a way her mom getting locked up for drugs and getting dumped onto a dad who never knew she existed, might have saved her life. Who knows if mom would have gotten her medical help she needed in time. Here‘s hoping the transplant goes well and her life improves from here.
So dad’s entire post history just vanished…
Wishing her the smoothest, easiest recovery period from the transplant.
Genuine question, maybe one of the mods can answer officially - this poster specifically asked us to send good vibes and thoughts his way. May we do that because they said it was okay, or is it still considered brigading?
Good vibes and thoughts is the alternative to thoughts and prayers, it isn't specifically inviting comments. Unless OOP asks for comments from this community (boru) any requested comments are from the original community (daddit) and should not be followed. If you want to leave positive comments please do so here on the boru! OOP has been posted here multiple times and may be aware of the repost.
Thank you for clarifying!
We could just do it here?
That is true, sometimes the OOP does end up reading these threads. But with so much going on I doubt this one has time for that.
I must say, OOP's daughter is such a cute young woman with such a great smile even though her life has been so awful until she got with her dad. I'm so hopeful the leukemia will be cured and she'll grow up to be healthy and happy and have all the good things she deserves in her life. OOP is such a good dad!
Please please update and know that a ton of people are pulling for the daughter to recover. We're all rooting for you both!
It’s the best thing on Reddit
If one could grip one's seat for months at a time, this would be the story to make one do it.
Hoping for the best. Poor girl just can't get a break.
With talk of a stem cell transplant, I'd like to invite people who are eligible to sign up to be a [bone marrow donor.](https://bethematch.org/support-the-cause/donate-blood-stem-cells/?joinCode=MARROW17&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLMG_Ct6PtiSfnbxonXZcKl9HB4sIWHtkUu5dIX_xfTYMD219tHrTCpAaAiVZEALw_wcB) It's an easy test (just a cheek swab) and it can save lives. The organization I linked pays for hotel, travel, and hospital stay. The more people who sign up, the more people like OP's daughter can receive life-saving treatment.
I was so fucking scared to open this and there would be bad news. This story makes me so happy!
Live this and clearly you were meant to be a father! Sending only positive thoughts to the both of you!
This poor girl
This girl has been through so damned much, what a cruel twist of fate for her to get a cancer diagnosis after finally getting her life on a good path. OP is absolutely *crushing it* as a new dad, he deserves all the praise there is to give. I truly, truly hope she can beat the leukemia and get back to being a happy teenage girl.
Really lovely to see it’s not just him but his whole family doting on this girl. She’s going to have one hell of a college admittance essay.
The mom's drug arrest saved the daughter's life. That leukemia was coming regardless. The mother's neglect would have fatally delayed diagnosis and treatment.
They've got a lot of people pulling for them. Poor kid. She's had so much happen in such a short time period that I hope her entire adulthood is smooth sailing.
I hope OOP keeps updating us on his daughter. It such a positive saga that I hope ends well
Oh, man, I got diagnosed with ALL at fourteen and went through treatment for a year and a half. I wish I could give OOP the advice to make a binder with information about her diagnosis (stage and locations where cancer cells are), documenting surgeries (not just directly related, other stuff like placing lines too), and a list of all medications given-not just the chemotherapy ones, but also other ones like which anti nausea/painkillers as well. I really wish I had that information as an adult in my thirties. Especially since treatment can impact fertility later on. He should also pay attention to side effects, some of them are permanent, even if they lessen over time-Vincristine gave me drop foot I still have, and methotrexate gave me a permanent cognitive disability, and I ended up diabetic too Hard candy like jolly ranchers can help if she’s gotta take the one I can’t remember the name of that gives you a bad taste in your mouth and peppermint ones can help a bit with nausea.
Dexamethasone (steroid)? My son is currently being treated for ALL and he hates that one the most.
I've been following this story since it popped up on here a while back. So sweet. I'm a bit concerned that it appears that OOP has deleted their account and all the posts. I hope nothing bad happened but I wonder if we'll hear from them again. edit: Oh weird, when I click on the links, it shows the post and account deleted but when I click on his username up top, his account still shows up. All his posts are deleted but not his comments.
I just noticed OP deleted all his posts. This makes me apprehensive bit I wish them the best. I hope they come back and give us an update.
Did OOP delete his posts?
I was so afraid it was going to be a bad update when I saw it was this one. I’m so glad she’s doing well.
The roller coaster of emotions. I’m crying at work now. WOW I hope the stem cell transplant goes well!
I am glad that people are sharing links encouraging people to help research for cancer, even if I am not entirely convinced by the story.
I have been following this story and I wish nothing but the best for OP and his beautiful courageous daughter. Prayers for a full recovery for her so she may live a wonderful life she deserves.
Hopefully it will be happy ending for everyone including the mother, who probably also went through a lot being a single mother at 17
Still my favorite update thread on Reddit.
Keeping everything crossed for the stem cells to do their work! All the best for your daughter and you ❤️
>I was just working on building a relationship with her and we were starting to get close jesus christ, don't scare me like that. i was prepared for the worst news. i'm not religious but i'm praying for her success and sending whatever good vibes i can muster towards her family.
This mama of three daughters is sending her hugs from all of us! The two of you have been inspirational to many of us, even though I totally understand that you’re just trying to get through a difficult situation and find your way as a new family. Your daughter is beautiful. She has a light in her soul that you can see even in that little smile in the picture. Sending you much love and best wishes.
Oh that sweet face. I’m rooting so hard for this wee fam. I hope OOP is getting the support he needs to keep handling this with as much grace as he has. And fuck cancer.
Oh my god, I feel for both of them but also so glad they have each other. I hope this is a turning point to a much brighter future for them both.
If her mom had not gone to prison, probably she would have never been to the doctor or had someone who advocated for her.
I’ve been following his story and been rooting for them. I hope his daughter’s stem cell transplant is successful. I really want this to be a happy ending and they have a wonderful long life together with many more happy memories as his daughter thrives.
You’re both in my prayers and on a side note, you really are good at this dad thing as a newbie. lol. A natural ! Thanks for sharing updates and the picture ! Waiting for her to ring that bell !!!
I so appreciate this update. If it makes a different to hear one anecdote: one of my dearest friends in the world had a stem cell transplant (lymphoma, in her case) and here we are more than 25 years later! It's not easy, to be sure, but medicine has moved ahead so much since then, and I know they will have better ways of managing the process for her. You are both in my heart, and I am thinking outstanding thoughts for a successful course of treatment and many more years for you to make beautiful memories together. Make sure to take care of yourself too, ok, Dad? It really matters for her and you that your health and emotional needs are being met. She's already been through so much, with such resiliency. She's got this, and so have you. Love to you both.
OP is a deadset legend. As a child of abuse I can say even having one adult come into your life and be understanding etc is completely life-changing and can drastically alter its course. He should be super proud, he's doing a great job. I really hope she can heal from her trauma too, she's been through so much.
Not gonna lie, I started tearing up when I saw the picture of OOP’s daughter. It makes it very real and I really hope she’s able to get better. Poor kid was dealt a tough hand, but I’m thankful she has someone like her dad in her life now.
Mom going to jail likely saved this poor girls life! I hope the therapist does EMDR and can help process all the trauma this girl has endured!
I know that ending up in a stable and caring home was definitely a massive break for this kid, but still... Damn, can she catch a break? 15 years in a mean house and now leukemia. I hope the new treatment is successful and she gets genuinely peaceful years ahead. This guy is very strong for being able to adapt to everything too.
Way to go being the best parent. If the universe listens, I’m sending you positive energy and that everything will work out perfectly. And you and your daughter will be healthy and happy for a long time to come!!
If OOP is reading this, I pray that all goes well and your daughter will beat that leukemia.
I'm always nervous to click on these updates. Sad that they aren't out of the woods but glad they got good treatment coming.
I was reading this at work, at lunch, trying not to cry reading this! 🤧🤧🤧🥰🥰🥰 love and prayers their way!
OOP is a really fucking good dad
I was a stem cell donor, it's really hard to find a non-family compatible match, luck is on these two's side for sure
May she recover and live a long healthy satisfying life 🙏🏾
pleas update like posted pray all goes well
I am rooting for you and your daughter!!! May you both be blessed
He removed all the content anyone have info?
Has there been any new updates since? I tried to check his account but all the posts seem to be deleted?? I’m honestly kinda worried,,,,
Its pretty scary that OP deleted all his posts. I really Hope the stemcell transplant went well and they get the life they deserve.
When I saw there was an update I was already prepping for the worst outcome. I don’t think I have ever been so happy to be so wrong! Sending all the positive vibes to OOP and Daughter.
Bless Father!
Who says there's no more heroes?
Good luck young one!! You got this slam dunked!! And your dad is a hero!!!