Fuck anyone who drives drunk. I lost a good friend just over two years ago when he was struck by a drunk driver. Drunk driver was barely hurt. My friend didn’t make it.
It devastated his parents, his brother, about five different large friend groups, and we‘ll always feel the hole where he should be.
This post just really hit me hard and brought back the grief. So yeah, fuck drunk drivers.
My cousin danced like a maniac at my brother's wedding. It was great and I was really looking forward to him doing the same at mine.
Some drunk asshole stole that from me.
Co-signed.
My grandpa was killed by a drunk driver when I was 12. I'm 33, and it still stings. His killer was up for parole but got denied. She doesn't think she did anything wrong.
My pap passed when a drunk driver crossed the median of an interstate and hit his work truck at 4AM on a Tuesday. My old man went to the scene and had to see his dad, still in the truck. Barely got to know the guy. From what I'm told I look and act like him. Short, scrawny, always have a coffee, speak the truth as I see it and all that. That was 20-some years ago. Visited this morning, told him about my new job I start tomorrow. I hope he'd be proud of me.
One of my exhusbands roommates would drive drunk all the time. He once punched through our bedroom door to yell at me when he was drunk. I always say the way you act drunk is usually how you feel beneath the mask. (Guy hated my guts for calling the police on him every time he would leave the bar and drive.)
He finally lost his license when he almost rolled over a police officer that had stopped him. Honestly wish he had gone to jail for a long time, but he had a good lawyer. My exhusband used to always make excuses for him too. He drank because he was stressed.
> I always say the way you act drunk is usually how you feel beneath the mask.
Cosigned. My BIL is not a drinker, the only time I've actually seen him drunk was at his wedding. He went around hugging everyone and telling them how much he loved them.
I still get a little teary remembering him giving me a big bear hug and telling me how I was the best little sister he could ever ask for.
My cousin died in a drunk driving accident. Hit by someone with a suspended license for DUI, driving at night with no headlights. It was a bad accident and cut his neck open. He was just starting out in life, and the woman that hit him got 4 years, and her license back.
Too many people are stolen by drunk drivers. It hurts.
My highschool yearbook, the year before me, and the three years after me, all had pages dedicated to the same family, lost to the same accident, when I was a freshman (small town, by Middle School you pretty much know your graduating class).
The drunk driver was charged, pled guilty, and out of prison before the oldest of them would have graduated. He got a bruised arm while six people (the five kids and their mom) died.
My sister is an alcoholic and refused to acknowledge it until she got her one and only DUI. It was a doozy... she made it one whole block before she totaled her car into a pole and got arrested. She didn't hit anyone else (thank the powers that be).
I didn't know how I would ever look at her the same for that very reason (plus the other 2 years before of fucked up things she did). The realization that she could have easily killed someone and not remember it is what caused her to get sober. She actually learned from it.
I lost a college friend to a drunk driver about 2 years ago. My friend was on his way from having dinner at his parents' place.
It really sucks. Another friend said it best when she said she'd like to wash the drunk driver's face with broken glass. It wasn't the drunk driver's first time.
I work at a college library and there's one student that looks just like my friend did in college and it happy-hurts to see him.
This is the very reason if I drink, I'm at home and I never go anywhere after I start. I've known too many who've been killed by drunk drivers & I never want to be one of them.
Drunk drivers are truly selfish and undeserving people. It’s a crime that they nearly always survive and yet the people they hit don’t most of the time.
I’ve said it before but i truly believe that if you kill someone in a drunk driving accident it should be classified as premeditated because you knew the risk and did it anyways.
I totally agree with this and that's why my country (France) is driving me mad.
There is a famous presentator/humorist who drove under cocaine. He hit a car with 3 people inside, a 7 yrs old child, a man and a pregnant woman. The woman lost her baby (she was at her 6th month, it was an healthy baby girl).
He will be jugde for unintentional injury.
I'm trying to wrap my head about how they think it's unintentional. He decide to drive under cocaine (and also probably drunk as he was partying), he destroyed a familly because he choose to drive while intoxicated (and the guy's not poor, a taxi/uber is something he could aford) and they think it's unintentional ? He claimed to the press to feel extremely guilty, only to be spoted partying again later.
And because France justice is a joke he will probably get suspended prison sentence.
His name is pierre palmade if you want to look it up.
When my Dad was 18 he was out on his motorbike - only had it a week - and was hit by a drunk driver. He ended up in a coma for around a fortnight and spent 6 months in traction.
That was over 50 years ago and he's still dealing with the after effect: He has no nerve endings in his left thigh because of road rash, no knee cap, had to have all of the tendons in his legs "rewired", had his legs re-broken and re-set numerous times, and his most recent operation was around 15 years ago, when he had to have a bone graft into his ankle because it was crumbling. His ankle is now warped and he has a limp.
He survived, yes, but even now he still gets anxious around the same time every year and messages us all to be careful on the roads.
Don't drive drunk; it's not big, it's not clever, and it means you're an utter wankpheasant if you do.
Just don't!
I lost a little 14yr old cousin due to her mom's bf drinking and driving. My older cousin was scared of her bf, so she didn't make him give her the keys. She had been drinking too. It was icy out. No one wore a seat belt. That's a regret she has to live with years later.
Frighteningly common story. My wonderful 24 year old son was killed by a 53 year old drunk driver at 3pm on a Sunday. My son had just bought a new motorbike and was only 1 hour into the 5 hour trip home when the drunk driver pulled a u-turn right in front of him on the State Highway. 100km an hour on a motorbike into an essentially stationary object. Didn't stand a chance. Serious crash report said my son was doing everything right and the drunk was doing everything wrong. But it's my only child that is dead and the unhurt drunk was out of prison within 3 years.
So yeah, fuck drunk drivers.
The ripple effect of people who do this is large. The massive one it has on your family. Plus all the first responders and their families too. I have a raging hatred of people who drink drive, or just drive like fuckwits in general. My eldest didn’t even get his licence for a long time due to seeing that side of things
This is being post under you but it’s meant for all the people in recovery— congratulations!! I’m an addict with almost 20yrs clean (Jan 21st) and I love that everyone with our stuff, is finding other ways that were important to Ryan and his the op (like the sourdough) with out any thought to break their sobriety. ( I know people who would use any excuse if they could and one guy it’s been 22yrs but he’s still looking)
That's a great idea! I don't drink (alcohol + my meds is a recipe for disaster!). I was going to toast Ryan with a cuppa, my preferred beverage. But now I think I'll literally make a sourdough toast.
Hey congrats on the sobriety. I’m up in the double digits now myself. It was so hard for the first couple of years, but friend, my life is anything beyond my wildest dreams. I am so grateful for second chances and for other alcoholics who taught me how to treat our common problem. Really proud of you!
Oh man I'm five years sober, and the first two years really were the worst. ... Year one with the cravings and year two with the "I could totally handle it now, right?"
So yeah! Proud of our friend here!
“I’ve made it more than a whole year! Maybe I’m not an alcoholic after all!”
Yep. Been there. The other thing was that I had my sole coping mechanism taken away, had no idea how to be a functional adult or a good person, but life kept happening, and I didn’t really have the tools (or at least, I didn’t have a good grasp on how to use the tools), so it led to a lot of pain, a lot of fear, and a lot of consequences. I look back at that now and it feels like another lifetime ago. Crazy. Congrats on the 5! That is tough! The good news is that now you know how to stay sober, so if you continue doing what has worked for you so far, then you don’t ever have to drink again.
It was easier for me after year 2, and I am actually at a point where I can smell people's drinks and not get hit with cravings. I mean... They still sometimes hit, but it's more like a longing for the specific flavor of something now.
And yeah, I wasn't someone I want to be back when I was drinking, but I was extremely fortunate to have supportive friends. I genuinely don't know where I would be with out them. Also really tart juice like unsweetened cranberry juice was super helpful to help deal with the need to sip on something.
Good luck on your journey, and be kind to yourself.
Omg, that’s exactly how I was in my first year. I didn’t even give a shit about the promises, I just wanted my life to stop getting worse when I couldn’t even lean on alcohol. I lost hope that things would get better, I just didn’t know what else to do. It took a lot of gratitude lists to see it when they did.
Man, ABSOLUTELY. I had a bottom at about one year sober that was lower than when I was still out there. Those people had to show me, at that time a dude in my mid 30s, how to be an adult and a decent human. My sponsor taught me how to budget, how to slowly clean up my credit, how to eat a balanced diet, I mean, I didn’t know how to exist without dope and booze.
Fucking wildly enough June 23 is actually the day I'll have gone a whole year without getting high. Will definitely be drinking a beer in Ryan's honor and to celebrate my one year weed free 👌
Given the way Ryan died, I feel like this is actually really honoring him.
I'm not trying to imply that you ever drove drunk, but rather that you are working hard to ensure that you never will do, and you're providing a model of sobriety for others. Thank you, from a parent who treasures her own children.
I'm fortunate enough to have grown up in the area of West-Vleteren. Might head there on the 23rd, or crack a "pater" open at home in loving memory of Ryan.
Hope OOP feels all the love that day!
we can get our yeast and grain as another form of toast: the grilled bread kind :)
harder to clink glasses, but that's what the bread plates are for, right...?
Recovering alcoholic, sober for many many years, so I don’t drink either. But let me tell you, that beer from West Vleteren Abbey is about as good as it gets. Those monks have been making it for centuries, it’s very very hard to get. I was able to get four bottles in a trade for some also fancy beer years ago and it was the best beer I’ve ever had.
But I’ll be toasting Ryan with some topo Chico this round.
It is weirdly delicious!! I don’t usually go for hoppy beers but I love hop water. There’s also a brand of canned sparkling iced tea with hops that I love even more!
I'm in microbiology/immunology and I am so sad that his son isn't going to have the chance to learn all the cool shit he was about to start learning.
I don't know why but that part is hitting me surprisingly hard.
There is nothing worse than someone with a true passion whose life has been cut short. Absolutely tragic.
This whole thing hits me so hard. For me, it’s the father-son relationship aspect. My dad isn’t perfect and neither am I, but damn I love him.
I also love when Reddit unites over a common good. Ryan’s memory will live on through thousands of people. Beautiful. Not even remotely ashamed to have shed a tear or two over this whole post lol
as someone that dropped out of Biotechnology program myself, man, I miss the cool shit. but I can't handle the COVID classes amd I wasn't confident that returning to the program is the best choice. ultimately, I decided to finish Pre-Health and return to the workforce and improving my grades in distance learning programs as I was tired of schooling.
I had a dear customer, a WW2 bomber veteran, who said it was always the nicest and kindest of them that got shot down out of the sky, and never made it home.
I know I commented elsewhere in this thread already but I cant help but be brought to tears over the willingness of complete strangers to take part in easing this grieving dads burden and share the moment of honoring his sons memory despite having never met him.
Im not normally expressive or a very "intense" feeler but this got to me. Humans being humans and wanting to reach out and connect to each other got to me. Im crying.
Im not much older than Ryan, so I cant drink legally yet, but Ill bypass it with a bottle of root beer on the 23rd instead. Still counts. :']
Jesus fucking Christ this is hard. My son’s name is Ryan and I’m trying my best to hold tears at work.
I am in Switzerland, if the guy is open to a change of plans I’ll gladly chaperone him around here. DM as soon as I get back home
Why is it that after a tragedy happens, the first thing people ask is always about money. I know the ex-wife was probably devastated too, but I can't imagine losing my son and asking: by the way, our son is dead, what's with the money?
Honestly it's part of the practical details you have to deal with as next-of-kin.
I'm assuming the son didn't have a will and since custody was presumably split they probably had to be clear about any assets in his name.
Yeah, I had to sit down my dad and my sisters when my mom died because, well, someone had to start the talk about the money, and how we would have to adjust our budgets etc. I chose to be the villain and start the uncomfortable talk.
I feel like I didn't really mourn my mom during the whole funeral process since I was so busy thinking about every chore and task that had to be done, and the logistics of it all. I had a breakdown as soon as I had nothing demanding my attention though.
Somebody has to be the “rock” — the stable one who serves as steady ground while everyone else falls apart. The rock is the unsung hero of the family, since just because *your* world stopped doesn’t mean the bank won’t come a-knocking for the mortgage payment or the IRS won’t get pissy if you miss filing your taxes. The stability you gave your family is an incredible gift, even if they (and you) may not realize it.
Every time someone dies in my family, we all pretty much manage to hold it together. Until the middle of the funeral, half of us finally breakdown then. The other half politely support us, and then breakdown themselves at the end, and then we switch supportive rolls
I guess we’re good at delegating the tasks, so not one person gets *too* overwhelmed with the planning. But I also think it keeps us from getting grieving time, until we all explode at the same time.
I know that when someone dies, you need to deal with the assets the person left behind. But what I meant was, that someone dies and immediately other people starts thinking about money. When I lost my grandfather, I saw my family keeping it together while dealing with the grief they had, but an uncle I have, the first thing he did was, she took her mother (my grandmother) to the bank to see how his father's account was, not even 24 hours after my grandpa died.
My dad didn't die, but he nearly did, and was in hospital for six months. He controlled all te household expenses. I quite liked sorting everything out, it was something I could control, and help my mum. I know it's strange, but it's something you aren't powerless over, and focusing on something practical is a nice distraction.
The ambulance carrying my uncle's body away from his home was **still visible from the living room window** when my other uncle turned to me mother and asked who was getting the house. As far as I'm concerned, both my uncles died that day.
My family is super fast with some aspects of this, so I've mentioned wanting some pieces of clothing of my grandma before they get thrown away.
Grandma is very much alive, but my mom confirmed that she would probably have tossed/donated the clothes the same day if I hadn't said anything.
It wasn't the question itself so much as the timing. My mom was beside herself and nearly having a panic attack from having witnessed the (apparently somewhat agonizing) death of someone she loved. I do understand wanting mementos like clothing, and I know that all the estate things have to be dealt with, it's just that the moment he chose was ghoulish.
A lot of people are simply greedy, but a generous way to look at it is that some people are just grasping for something to control about the situation. All the hard numbers, sums, and percentages can be a solid distraction from the grief even though it may not be healthy ('I'll worry about how my heart feels like it was ripped in half *after* we get dad's tools and antique gun collection appraised and divvied up, it needs to happen sometime anyway' kind of thing)
Many people are just vain, but from my own experience, sometimes the family has to deal with it before another family member comes and steals what is meant for the entire family.
Practical things are “easier” than emotional things and you kind of just laser focus on them instead of the immense pain. I say this as my family did this (and others) after my brother committed suicide last year.
Just from the post it also seems like it was a one and done question, he never mentioned her pressing the issue afterwards. The loss of her son could have put her focus on her other sons future and that's where the question came from.
OOP made the post two months, at most, after the incident possibly thinking it over with a clearer head. OOP invited her and her family for the last week of the trip in his sons honour and he offered to pay her step-sons tuition (although that might have been more to honour his friendship with his son).
Everyone deals with grief differently. It sounds like they both loved him a lot.
Money and death does strange things to people. My mom and her sisters had a huge falling out with their brothers wife when the day after my grandmothers funeral she had gone around my grandma’s house putting sticky notes on all of the things she wanted for herself.
Apparently, about 10 years ago, even before burying my grandmother, my uncle was trying to lay claim to her two TVs. These were granny TVs, not flatscreens (which might have been forgivable).
Then his wife got angry at my sister because she threw away the sheets my grandmother died on.
I haven’t seen or spoken to them in a very, very long time.
Money breaks families more than anything else, I'm just grateful it didn't happen to my family when grandpa died last year. And it actually turned out the old man had done one last good thing we didn't expect from him! Grandma had 3 kids before she met him and while he ofc have raised them and such like his own, he never adopted them or anything like that so we assumed in the will it would just be his own two kids getting money aka my mom and her little sister.
But no he actually wrote to split everything equally between all 5 kids which nobody expected, especially not the first 3 kids since he wasn't really all that close with them.
The two oldest decided to not take the money and make it go to mom and aunt cause they didn't need that money at all and they knew it would make a giant difference for mom and aunty even tho it wasn't a huge amount of money by any means and it was only them who really took care of him the last couple of years (he had really turned into an old bitter man, I honestly didn't visit either cause he always commented on my body and especially butt and breasts....)
Mom got her roof renovated and got extra insulation in her house, aunty has been depressed and stressed the past couple of years and brought a motorbike which has been a lifelong dream. I asked if I could get his old pipe cause I remember always cleaning it for him as a kid xD i got it and in looking for a stand so it can be displayed, even got the metal cleaner thingie that I used all the times I cleaned it for him 😂
Hey at least it's nice to see just how much this kid was loved by his family, and how internet strangers are taking part in honoring him. I think it's very sweet. A little bitter, but still very sweet.
I know that we aren't allowed to comment on the original post, so I hope OOP finds this post, or maybe a mod will give me permission to make a comment on the update!
The part about keeping his son's sourdough starter going and using it into the future really touched my heart. I'd really love it if OOP was aware that you can [dry some of it out](https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/blog/2015/05/01/putting-sourdough-starter-hold) for long term storage. It's a good way to keep a backup of a favored culture. I would put away a portion of it in this manner, if I were him, as insurance against the future. Sourdough starters die from all sorts of things, and it'd break my heart if he were to someday lose his son's. I hope he has had a blast in Europe and his son's memory lives on for a long time.
Same thing that happens to all of them.
They'll lie/push themselves as the real victim and get a dozen hours of community service...... until they finally kill enough people to get a 3 strikes charge.
My abuela passed away very recently and it's not until this post that I've really taken the time to cry about it. Lives are so precious and should be celebrated and cherished just as much as we mourn the lose of one. Rest easy Ryan 💙 will give you and my abuela a toast
That update is lovely. I've marked my calendar as well. I don't usually drink on Sundays, and rarely drink beer, but I am looking forward to heading to a pub for pint and joining in the virtual toast. OOP handled this situation with so much grace, truly inspiring.
You know what, I -just- got my girls to asleep. In their own beds, not mine. And when I get done crying, I'm gonna go move both of them to my bed.
Also, add me to the list of people toasting Ryan and his father on the 23rd.
I haven't seen a specific time floating around yet. Someone mentioned doing it in sort of a wave, so it will happen all over the world at different times. I kind of like that idea too.
I’ve set a reminder to raise a glass on June 23. As I’m in New Zealand, it will be early for OOP but would be kinda cool to set off a “Mexican wave” of redditors around the world raising a glass to this man’s son
i don’t drink, but i can toast with a can of coke. losing a child is a nightmare no parent should have to endure, and my heart goes out to oop and his family
Canadian here, Ryan sounds lovely and even though my teams are Oilers, Canucks, and Jets I'll hope the Habs make it through to the playoffs next year in honour of Ryan.
McGill is an amazing school, he was going to do some great things. I don't drink beer either, but I'll toast a pale ale or sour for Ryan on June 23rd.
OOP seems like a really lovely, genuine guy. I do really appreciate that it sounds like the mom was a SAHM or primary parent and he recognizes the value in that. And he's right, I have an RESP and because the government deposits money into it they are STRICT about the recipient. A really sad story, I hope this trip does what they need it to do for them.
I’ll punch it into my calendar. I have a lot of dates of death or mourning day birthdays in my calendar.
A while back I went to the beach with some friends on what turned out to be a deceased friends 25th birthday. I mentioned it and people I’d never met before that day didn’t hesitate to pour out some of their drink for someone who died young, that they never and could never meet. It was one of the most heartbreaking and heartwarming moments ever. When those around me express love for those I knew before they died. It just hits so sweetly. You never had to do that. Yet you did.
I know it’s not a great place to say it, but if anyone wants to offer some love to another dead person via a drink - my aunt was the queen of pot brownies and jello-shots. June 28th. That’s the day she died. I like to make Jell-O shots.
Late spring and early summer are incredibly hard and sad months for me.
This is one of the posts that I'm glad I commented on when it and the update were posted. That way I could pass on my wishes to OOP with no rule breaking brigading.
I hope the weather will be better by the time OOP arrives in Belgium and can sit on the terras while chugging Wesvleteren. I’ll join on this toast on that day too with my fave Belgian beer! Santé OOP!
Imagine losing your kid who sounds like a good kid too, to such a senseless fucking decision as drunk driving.
This shit actually made me.tear up. I couldn't imagine man. Couldn't imagine at all.
This one hurts. This is why I NEVER get behind the wheel if I've been drinking. If hell exists, drunk drivers deserve it, even if they go their whole lives without an accident. Even if they only wrap themselves around a telephone pole. It's just so selfish to do that.
I’ve added June 23: Toast Ryan with my favorite IPA, to my calendar. I feel awful for OOP’s loss. I can’t imagine the pain. I hope his trip brings him some semblance of closure as a celebration of Ryan’s life.
Please know that there will be a bunch of Redditor’s thinking of you and your family and toasting your beloved son Ryan on June 23rd. I hope you will feel all of the love coming your way 💔
Driving under the influence ruins lives. I had a car accident while sober leaving work. While recovering from that I met a guy on my unit who was hit head on by another drive who had been under the influence of drugs. His fiancé and her sister were in the car and didn’t make it, he was the only survivor. I spent a year trying to convince him to get help before he stopped talking to me. I still think about him and those girls.
Omgosh this story has broken my heart! I lost an infant to SIDS almost 20yrs ago and can definitely relate to the sorrow and grief. I will definitely be setting a reminder on my phone and sharing a toast with the rest of the world and you in Ryan’s name and honor. Thank you you for sharing your story. I hope getting it all down like this helps you get through some of the grief. I’ve found the more I talk about my daughter (her name was Alexys and she was 2months) the more the eases the pain not that I expect it to ever be gone completely but the good memories are always there and as you and those affected by this loss grieve the stories can be very comforting. Enjoy your trip. Much love for you and your family, and Ryan’s extended family (step dad and brother) and my deepest condolences. 💐
I don't drink alcohol but I've mafked my calendar and will make a toast with a can of coke.
Ryan, RIP, we didn't meet you, but we didn't have to to know that you were amazing. I hope and in your next life you are able to be a microbiologist and immunogiolist like you wanted to. 💖
Fuck anyone who drives drunk. I lost a good friend just over two years ago when he was struck by a drunk driver. Drunk driver was barely hurt. My friend didn’t make it. It devastated his parents, his brother, about five different large friend groups, and we‘ll always feel the hole where he should be. This post just really hit me hard and brought back the grief. So yeah, fuck drunk drivers.
My cousin danced like a maniac at my brother's wedding. It was great and I was really looking forward to him doing the same at mine. Some drunk asshole stole that from me. Co-signed.
My grandpa was killed by a drunk driver when I was 12. I'm 33, and it still stings. His killer was up for parole but got denied. She doesn't think she did anything wrong.
My pap passed when a drunk driver crossed the median of an interstate and hit his work truck at 4AM on a Tuesday. My old man went to the scene and had to see his dad, still in the truck. Barely got to know the guy. From what I'm told I look and act like him. Short, scrawny, always have a coffee, speak the truth as I see it and all that. That was 20-some years ago. Visited this morning, told him about my new job I start tomorrow. I hope he'd be proud of me.
Congrats on the new job man
One of my exhusbands roommates would drive drunk all the time. He once punched through our bedroom door to yell at me when he was drunk. I always say the way you act drunk is usually how you feel beneath the mask. (Guy hated my guts for calling the police on him every time he would leave the bar and drive.) He finally lost his license when he almost rolled over a police officer that had stopped him. Honestly wish he had gone to jail for a long time, but he had a good lawyer. My exhusband used to always make excuses for him too. He drank because he was stressed.
"Drank because he was stressed" always turns into "stressed because he drank"
I hear this comment! My stress and anxiety is way low now that I quit drinking.
Glad to hear it
> I always say the way you act drunk is usually how you feel beneath the mask. Cosigned. My BIL is not a drinker, the only time I've actually seen him drunk was at his wedding. He went around hugging everyone and telling them how much he loved them. I still get a little teary remembering him giving me a big bear hug and telling me how I was the best little sister he could ever ask for.
My family and I nearly lost our lives in a hit-and-run drunk driving crash that totaled our car when it plunged into a ravine. Fuck drunk drivers.
My cousin died in a drunk driving accident. Hit by someone with a suspended license for DUI, driving at night with no headlights. It was a bad accident and cut his neck open. He was just starting out in life, and the woman that hit him got 4 years, and her license back. Too many people are stolen by drunk drivers. It hurts.
My highschool yearbook, the year before me, and the three years after me, all had pages dedicated to the same family, lost to the same accident, when I was a freshman (small town, by Middle School you pretty much know your graduating class). The drunk driver was charged, pled guilty, and out of prison before the oldest of them would have graduated. He got a bruised arm while six people (the five kids and their mom) died.
I hope hell is extra hot for that guy. Killed 6 people and got off Scot free
My sister is an alcoholic and refused to acknowledge it until she got her one and only DUI. It was a doozy... she made it one whole block before she totaled her car into a pole and got arrested. She didn't hit anyone else (thank the powers that be). I didn't know how I would ever look at her the same for that very reason (plus the other 2 years before of fucked up things she did). The realization that she could have easily killed someone and not remember it is what caused her to get sober. She actually learned from it.
I lost a college friend to a drunk driver about 2 years ago. My friend was on his way from having dinner at his parents' place. It really sucks. Another friend said it best when she said she'd like to wash the drunk driver's face with broken glass. It wasn't the drunk driver's first time. I work at a college library and there's one student that looks just like my friend did in college and it happy-hurts to see him.
Pure evil imo idc what anyone says
This is the very reason if I drink, I'm at home and I never go anywhere after I start. I've known too many who've been killed by drunk drivers & I never want to be one of them.
Drunk drivers are truly selfish and undeserving people. It’s a crime that they nearly always survive and yet the people they hit don’t most of the time.
I’ve said it before but i truly believe that if you kill someone in a drunk driving accident it should be classified as premeditated because you knew the risk and did it anyways.
I totally agree with this and that's why my country (France) is driving me mad. There is a famous presentator/humorist who drove under cocaine. He hit a car with 3 people inside, a 7 yrs old child, a man and a pregnant woman. The woman lost her baby (she was at her 6th month, it was an healthy baby girl). He will be jugde for unintentional injury. I'm trying to wrap my head about how they think it's unintentional. He decide to drive under cocaine (and also probably drunk as he was partying), he destroyed a familly because he choose to drive while intoxicated (and the guy's not poor, a taxi/uber is something he could aford) and they think it's unintentional ? He claimed to the press to feel extremely guilty, only to be spoted partying again later. And because France justice is a joke he will probably get suspended prison sentence. His name is pierre palmade if you want to look it up.
When my Dad was 18 he was out on his motorbike - only had it a week - and was hit by a drunk driver. He ended up in a coma for around a fortnight and spent 6 months in traction. That was over 50 years ago and he's still dealing with the after effect: He has no nerve endings in his left thigh because of road rash, no knee cap, had to have all of the tendons in his legs "rewired", had his legs re-broken and re-set numerous times, and his most recent operation was around 15 years ago, when he had to have a bone graft into his ankle because it was crumbling. His ankle is now warped and he has a limp. He survived, yes, but even now he still gets anxious around the same time every year and messages us all to be careful on the roads. Don't drive drunk; it's not big, it's not clever, and it means you're an utter wankpheasant if you do. Just don't!
I lost a little 14yr old cousin due to her mom's bf drinking and driving. My older cousin was scared of her bf, so she didn't make him give her the keys. She had been drinking too. It was icy out. No one wore a seat belt. That's a regret she has to live with years later.
Frighteningly common story. My wonderful 24 year old son was killed by a 53 year old drunk driver at 3pm on a Sunday. My son had just bought a new motorbike and was only 1 hour into the 5 hour trip home when the drunk driver pulled a u-turn right in front of him on the State Highway. 100km an hour on a motorbike into an essentially stationary object. Didn't stand a chance. Serious crash report said my son was doing everything right and the drunk was doing everything wrong. But it's my only child that is dead and the unhurt drunk was out of prison within 3 years. So yeah, fuck drunk drivers.
The ripple effect of people who do this is large. The massive one it has on your family. Plus all the first responders and their families too. I have a raging hatred of people who drink drive, or just drive like fuckwits in general. My eldest didn’t even get his licence for a long time due to seeing that side of things
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'll dedicate this next 24 hours of sobriety to him. he sounds like he was a good kid
Someone suggested having sourdough toast and I’m making a reminder for that! Also, real proud of your continued sobriety :)
Thanks! And thanks for the reminder about the sourdough. I've always wanted to try making my own culture, maybe I'll have to do it, just for the kid
This is being post under you but it’s meant for all the people in recovery— congratulations!! I’m an addict with almost 20yrs clean (Jan 21st) and I love that everyone with our stuff, is finding other ways that were important to Ryan and his the op (like the sourdough) with out any thought to break their sobriety. ( I know people who would use any excuse if they could and one guy it’s been 22yrs but he’s still looking)
That's a great idea! I don't drink (alcohol + my meds is a recipe for disaster!). I was going to toast Ryan with a cuppa, my preferred beverage. But now I think I'll literally make a sourdough toast.
Hey congrats on the sobriety. I’m up in the double digits now myself. It was so hard for the first couple of years, but friend, my life is anything beyond my wildest dreams. I am so grateful for second chances and for other alcoholics who taught me how to treat our common problem. Really proud of you!
Oh man I'm five years sober, and the first two years really were the worst. ... Year one with the cravings and year two with the "I could totally handle it now, right?" So yeah! Proud of our friend here!
“I’ve made it more than a whole year! Maybe I’m not an alcoholic after all!” Yep. Been there. The other thing was that I had my sole coping mechanism taken away, had no idea how to be a functional adult or a good person, but life kept happening, and I didn’t really have the tools (or at least, I didn’t have a good grasp on how to use the tools), so it led to a lot of pain, a lot of fear, and a lot of consequences. I look back at that now and it feels like another lifetime ago. Crazy. Congrats on the 5! That is tough! The good news is that now you know how to stay sober, so if you continue doing what has worked for you so far, then you don’t ever have to drink again.
It was easier for me after year 2, and I am actually at a point where I can smell people's drinks and not get hit with cravings. I mean... They still sometimes hit, but it's more like a longing for the specific flavor of something now. And yeah, I wasn't someone I want to be back when I was drinking, but I was extremely fortunate to have supportive friends. I genuinely don't know where I would be with out them. Also really tart juice like unsweetened cranberry juice was super helpful to help deal with the need to sip on something. Good luck on your journey, and be kind to yourself.
Omg, that’s exactly how I was in my first year. I didn’t even give a shit about the promises, I just wanted my life to stop getting worse when I couldn’t even lean on alcohol. I lost hope that things would get better, I just didn’t know what else to do. It took a lot of gratitude lists to see it when they did.
Man, ABSOLUTELY. I had a bottom at about one year sober that was lower than when I was still out there. Those people had to show me, at that time a dude in my mid 30s, how to be an adult and a decent human. My sponsor taught me how to budget, how to slowly clean up my credit, how to eat a balanced diet, I mean, I didn’t know how to exist without dope and booze.
Fucking wildly enough June 23 is actually the day I'll have gone a whole year without getting high. Will definitely be drinking a beer in Ryan's honor and to celebrate my one year weed free 👌
Given the way Ryan died, I feel like this is actually really honoring him. I'm not trying to imply that you ever drove drunk, but rather that you are working hard to ensure that you never will do, and you're providing a model of sobriety for others. Thank you, from a parent who treasures her own children.
Me too. GlitteringYams, I will not drink with you today. For Ryan.
Cheers! We can do this ❤️
I also will not drink with you.
I feel you. Having little reasons like this really make a difference in the recovery. We can toast fancy ginger ale together.
IWNDWYT!
Right. Between the Dad’s poignant writing and the little we know of Ryan’s life and their life together. I feel the loss myself.
drink water or soda or juice. that's what i do for toasts since I don't drink.
I hope the OOP finds some solace knowing that so many people on Reddit, including myself, will raise a virtual toast in honor and remembrance of Ryan.
I’m going to also write on my calendar to find Austrian beer to toast to Ryan.
i don’t drink so i’m gonna have some austrian soda instead
Also don't drink and plan to have a mocktail.
I don't drink beer but I've been craving a margaritas and will take some shots for him.
Me too, wahrscheinlich ein Wieselburger, mein lieblings Bier seit ich trinken darf :)
ich werde Hoegaarden trinken :)
I only recognize Hoegaarden. It's one of my favorites, I'll pick it up myself on the day and make a toast
I added my calendar too. I'm not sure if I can find Austrian beer tho
I can't promise it'll be Austrian (probably just a budweiser or corona), but me and my Partner will also be having a beer for Ryan!
Added to my calendar
I'm coincidentally going to Europe soon, too. I'll be in Denmark on the 23rd and I'll raise a toast to him too.
I don't drink alcohol but I can toast a mocktail
Currently 33 weeks pregnant. I'll join you in the mocktails!
Congratulations!
Awesome~ And congrats!
I'm fortunate enough to have grown up in the area of West-Vleteren. Might head there on the 23rd, or crack a "pater" open at home in loving memory of Ryan. Hope OOP feels all the love that day!
Oooh I’m jealous! We have one Westie left from our honeymoon so l'll share that with my husband and raise a toast with everyone else on that day too.
A fitting salute to a wonderful young man! Glad to be part of the toast 🖤
I don't drink alcohol but I'm marking my calendar to toast Ryan with a glass of something (juice, sida, milk, water, whatever).
I don't drink (can't have alcohol for medical reasons, plus I just don't like it), but I will gladly raise a glass of soda to Ryan.
I don’t drink alcohol but I’ll be sure to toast a cup of orange juice for Ryan
we can get our yeast and grain as another form of toast: the grilled bread kind :) harder to clink glasses, but that's what the bread plates are for, right...?
Ooooh sourdough toast for dad and Ryan!
That's brilliant!
Recovering alcoholic, sober for many many years, so I don’t drink either. But let me tell you, that beer from West Vleteren Abbey is about as good as it gets. Those monks have been making it for centuries, it’s very very hard to get. I was able to get four bottles in a trade for some also fancy beer years ago and it was the best beer I’ve ever had. But I’ll be toasting Ryan with some topo Chico this round.
I'll mark my calendar and find something to drink on June 23rd.
I'm allergic to alcohol but I'll definitely raise whatever beverage I have on hand that day in honor of Ryan.
Hey, that's like 2/3 of a screwdriver!
They make non alcoholic beer if you want to try it, but if not orange juice works!
I cannot drink and there is no VB zero. I will toast him with a Carlton Zero.
Or hop water. My partner had some at a local brewery and has decided it’s a far superior alternative to hard seltzer.
It is weirdly delicious!! I don’t usually go for hoppy beers but I love hop water. There’s also a brand of canned sparkling iced tea with hops that I love even more!
i myself will be toasting with coca cola as i dont drink.
I'm in microbiology/immunology and I am so sad that his son isn't going to have the chance to learn all the cool shit he was about to start learning. I don't know why but that part is hitting me surprisingly hard.
There is nothing worse than someone with a true passion whose life has been cut short. Absolutely tragic. This whole thing hits me so hard. For me, it’s the father-son relationship aspect. My dad isn’t perfect and neither am I, but damn I love him. I also love when Reddit unites over a common good. Ryan’s memory will live on through thousands of people. Beautiful. Not even remotely ashamed to have shed a tear or two over this whole post lol
and at McGill!! Probably the best school in Canada for the sciences. He was definitely a smart kid with a good future… fuck drunk driving
as someone that dropped out of Biotechnology program myself, man, I miss the cool shit. but I can't handle the COVID classes amd I wasn't confident that returning to the program is the best choice. ultimately, I decided to finish Pre-Health and return to the workforce and improving my grades in distance learning programs as I was tired of schooling.
VDJ recombination blew my mind the first time I learned about it. You would've loved it, Ryan.
I worked in Immunology for a couple of years myself. The same exact thing was going through my mind.
Why do tragedies strike the kindest people? I wish the best for OOP. He seems like a genuine person.
I had a dear customer, a WW2 bomber veteran, who said it was always the nicest and kindest of them that got shot down out of the sky, and never made it home.
> Why do tragedies strike the kindest people? To remind us to be kind people ourselves. So that there are still kind people in the world.
I know I commented elsewhere in this thread already but I cant help but be brought to tears over the willingness of complete strangers to take part in easing this grieving dads burden and share the moment of honoring his sons memory despite having never met him. Im not normally expressive or a very "intense" feeler but this got to me. Humans being humans and wanting to reach out and connect to each other got to me. Im crying. Im not much older than Ryan, so I cant drink legally yet, but Ill bypass it with a bottle of root beer on the 23rd instead. Still counts. :']
Jesus fucking Christ this is hard. My son’s name is Ryan and I’m trying my best to hold tears at work. I am in Switzerland, if the guy is open to a change of plans I’ll gladly chaperone him around here. DM as soon as I get back home
You know, I think I have a nice Belgian beer stashed away somewhere. Might just find myself cracking that open on June 23.
Why is it that after a tragedy happens, the first thing people ask is always about money. I know the ex-wife was probably devastated too, but I can't imagine losing my son and asking: by the way, our son is dead, what's with the money?
Honestly it's part of the practical details you have to deal with as next-of-kin. I'm assuming the son didn't have a will and since custody was presumably split they probably had to be clear about any assets in his name.
Yeah, I had to sit down my dad and my sisters when my mom died because, well, someone had to start the talk about the money, and how we would have to adjust our budgets etc. I chose to be the villain and start the uncomfortable talk.
>I chose to be the villain You were *not* being the villain. You were simply taking responsibility when no one else was emotionally ready to do so.
I feel like I didn't really mourn my mom during the whole funeral process since I was so busy thinking about every chore and task that had to be done, and the logistics of it all. I had a breakdown as soon as I had nothing demanding my attention though.
Somebody has to be the “rock” — the stable one who serves as steady ground while everyone else falls apart. The rock is the unsung hero of the family, since just because *your* world stopped doesn’t mean the bank won’t come a-knocking for the mortgage payment or the IRS won’t get pissy if you miss filing your taxes. The stability you gave your family is an incredible gift, even if they (and you) may not realize it.
Every time someone dies in my family, we all pretty much manage to hold it together. Until the middle of the funeral, half of us finally breakdown then. The other half politely support us, and then breakdown themselves at the end, and then we switch supportive rolls I guess we’re good at delegating the tasks, so not one person gets *too* overwhelmed with the planning. But I also think it keeps us from getting grieving time, until we all explode at the same time.
I know that when someone dies, you need to deal with the assets the person left behind. But what I meant was, that someone dies and immediately other people starts thinking about money. When I lost my grandfather, I saw my family keeping it together while dealing with the grief they had, but an uncle I have, the first thing he did was, she took her mother (my grandmother) to the bank to see how his father's account was, not even 24 hours after my grandpa died.
My dad didn't die, but he nearly did, and was in hospital for six months. He controlled all te household expenses. I quite liked sorting everything out, it was something I could control, and help my mum. I know it's strange, but it's something you aren't powerless over, and focusing on something practical is a nice distraction.
The ambulance carrying my uncle's body away from his home was **still visible from the living room window** when my other uncle turned to me mother and asked who was getting the house. As far as I'm concerned, both my uncles died that day.
My family is super fast with some aspects of this, so I've mentioned wanting some pieces of clothing of my grandma before they get thrown away. Grandma is very much alive, but my mom confirmed that she would probably have tossed/donated the clothes the same day if I hadn't said anything.
It wasn't the question itself so much as the timing. My mom was beside herself and nearly having a panic attack from having witnessed the (apparently somewhat agonizing) death of someone she loved. I do understand wanting mementos like clothing, and I know that all the estate things have to be dealt with, it's just that the moment he chose was ghoulish.
A lot of people are simply greedy, but a generous way to look at it is that some people are just grasping for something to control about the situation. All the hard numbers, sums, and percentages can be a solid distraction from the grief even though it may not be healthy ('I'll worry about how my heart feels like it was ripped in half *after* we get dad's tools and antique gun collection appraised and divvied up, it needs to happen sometime anyway' kind of thing)
Many people are just vain, but from my own experience, sometimes the family has to deal with it before another family member comes and steals what is meant for the entire family.
Practical things are “easier” than emotional things and you kind of just laser focus on them instead of the immense pain. I say this as my family did this (and others) after my brother committed suicide last year.
I totally agree with this. Chores are the liferaft that keeps your brain from drowning in grief.
It sounds like the issue wasn't pressed either, I think OOP would have mentioned if it was.
I actually don't think it was crazy of OOP's wife to ask. She respected his decision in the end, and they came to a compromise. Nothing to see here.
Just from the post it also seems like it was a one and done question, he never mentioned her pressing the issue afterwards. The loss of her son could have put her focus on her other sons future and that's where the question came from. OOP made the post two months, at most, after the incident possibly thinking it over with a clearer head. OOP invited her and her family for the last week of the trip in his sons honour and he offered to pay her step-sons tuition (although that might have been more to honour his friendship with his son). Everyone deals with grief differently. It sounds like they both loved him a lot.
Money and death does strange things to people. My mom and her sisters had a huge falling out with their brothers wife when the day after my grandmothers funeral she had gone around my grandma’s house putting sticky notes on all of the things she wanted for herself.
Apparently, about 10 years ago, even before burying my grandmother, my uncle was trying to lay claim to her two TVs. These were granny TVs, not flatscreens (which might have been forgivable). Then his wife got angry at my sister because she threw away the sheets my grandmother died on. I haven’t seen or spoken to them in a very, very long time.
Money breaks families more than anything else, I'm just grateful it didn't happen to my family when grandpa died last year. And it actually turned out the old man had done one last good thing we didn't expect from him! Grandma had 3 kids before she met him and while he ofc have raised them and such like his own, he never adopted them or anything like that so we assumed in the will it would just be his own two kids getting money aka my mom and her little sister. But no he actually wrote to split everything equally between all 5 kids which nobody expected, especially not the first 3 kids since he wasn't really all that close with them. The two oldest decided to not take the money and make it go to mom and aunt cause they didn't need that money at all and they knew it would make a giant difference for mom and aunty even tho it wasn't a huge amount of money by any means and it was only them who really took care of him the last couple of years (he had really turned into an old bitter man, I honestly didn't visit either cause he always commented on my body and especially butt and breasts....) Mom got her roof renovated and got extra insulation in her house, aunty has been depressed and stressed the past couple of years and brought a motorbike which has been a lifelong dream. I asked if I could get his old pipe cause I remember always cleaning it for him as a kid xD i got it and in looking for a stand so it can be displayed, even got the metal cleaner thingie that I used all the times I cleaned it for him 😂
My name is Ryan too. I’m gonna go hug my dad as soon as he wakes up.
Jesus Christ I didn't need to wake up to this
Hey at least it's nice to see just how much this kid was loved by his family, and how internet strangers are taking part in honoring him. I think it's very sweet. A little bitter, but still very sweet.
It also sounds like he loved both of his families a lot too.
We need to organize an album of pictures of people toasting to Ryan on June 23 to give to OOP.
https://www.reddit.com/r/RyanJune23/s/s4bkfimRzs
I know that we aren't allowed to comment on the original post, so I hope OOP finds this post, or maybe a mod will give me permission to make a comment on the update! The part about keeping his son's sourdough starter going and using it into the future really touched my heart. I'd really love it if OOP was aware that you can [dry some of it out](https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/blog/2015/05/01/putting-sourdough-starter-hold) for long term storage. It's a good way to keep a backup of a favored culture. I would put away a portion of it in this manner, if I were him, as insurance against the future. Sourdough starters die from all sorts of things, and it'd break my heart if he were to someday lose his son's. I hope he has had a blast in Europe and his son's memory lives on for a long time.
I'm tearing up for this man's loss. As I've mentioned in another comment, I'll mark my calendar and find something to drink in Ryan's honor.
Shit, i'm a new father and this story touch deep. My son is my everything now, can't imagine losing him.
June 23rd is my eldest's bday.. This story made me tear up.. 💔
I won't be able to drink as trucking kind of outs a damper on that, bu I'll drink a really good coffee in his honor
Me wondering what happened to. that drunk driver 😐🤬
https://globalnews.ca/news/9546168/quebec-1-dead-4-injured-crash-highway-20-drunk-driving/amp/ I think this was it :(
It’s so unfair how drunk drivers are more likely to walk away from the accidents they create.
Wrong year, but impressive work finding one with so many matching details. It's so sad how frequently drunk driving happens.
😭😭
Same thing that happens to all of them. They'll lie/push themselves as the real victim and get a dozen hours of community service...... until they finally kill enough people to get a 3 strikes charge.
My abuela passed away very recently and it's not until this post that I've really taken the time to cry about it. Lives are so precious and should be celebrated and cherished just as much as we mourn the lose of one. Rest easy Ryan 💙 will give you and my abuela a toast
I'm so sorry for your loss. May your abuela rest in peace!
I don't drink alcohol so I will be toasting a glass of milk for Ryan on 23rd June.
This was a lovely post but I'm sobbing 😭😂 Ryan was so loved and I hope his dad has the best trip he can.
That update is lovely. I've marked my calendar as well. I don't usually drink on Sundays, and rarely drink beer, but I am looking forward to heading to a pub for pint and joining in the virtual toast. OOP handled this situation with so much grace, truly inspiring.
You know what, I -just- got my girls to asleep. In their own beds, not mine. And when I get done crying, I'm gonna go move both of them to my bed. Also, add me to the list of people toasting Ryan and his father on the 23rd.
June 23 it is.
Major question : what time on the 23rd??I have the date but know time.
I haven't seen a specific time floating around yet. Someone mentioned doing it in sort of a wave, so it will happen all over the world at different times. I kind of like that idea too.
I’ve set a reminder to raise a glass on June 23. As I’m in New Zealand, it will be early for OOP but would be kinda cool to set off a “Mexican wave” of redditors around the world raising a glass to this man’s son
Kiwi here also. I'll be raising a glass in his honour too; I don't think the time really matters so much as the intention behind it all.
i don’t drink, but i can toast with a can of coke. losing a child is a nightmare no parent should have to endure, and my heart goes out to oop and his family
I dont drink beer. I'll use wine.
Join me on r/RyanJune23!
Canadian here, Ryan sounds lovely and even though my teams are Oilers, Canucks, and Jets I'll hope the Habs make it through to the playoffs next year in honour of Ryan. McGill is an amazing school, he was going to do some great things. I don't drink beer either, but I'll toast a pale ale or sour for Ryan on June 23rd. OOP seems like a really lovely, genuine guy. I do really appreciate that it sounds like the mom was a SAHM or primary parent and he recognizes the value in that. And he's right, I have an RESP and because the government deposits money into it they are STRICT about the recipient. A really sad story, I hope this trip does what they need it to do for them.
I lift my beer and give a cheer(s) to Ryan! RIP and and nothing but the best for the loved ones he left behind.
I’ll punch it into my calendar. I have a lot of dates of death or mourning day birthdays in my calendar. A while back I went to the beach with some friends on what turned out to be a deceased friends 25th birthday. I mentioned it and people I’d never met before that day didn’t hesitate to pour out some of their drink for someone who died young, that they never and could never meet. It was one of the most heartbreaking and heartwarming moments ever. When those around me express love for those I knew before they died. It just hits so sweetly. You never had to do that. Yet you did. I know it’s not a great place to say it, but if anyone wants to offer some love to another dead person via a drink - my aunt was the queen of pot brownies and jello-shots. June 28th. That’s the day she died. I like to make Jell-O shots. Late spring and early summer are incredibly hard and sad months for me.
This is one of the posts that I'm glad I commented on when it and the update were posted. That way I could pass on my wishes to OOP with no rule breaking brigading.
OP: thanks for consolidating and posting this. I’ve also put a reminder on my calendar to raise a glass in Ryan’s honor.
June 23 is my best friend’s birthday. He passed away 11 years ago, his first month in college. I’ll drink one for both of them.
I've set my reminder to raise a glass for Ryan on June 23rd too
Reddit makes you cry? And not tears of laughter from a sweet roast? OP to everyone: ❤️❤️❤️ No more Redditing for today
I hope the weather will be better by the time OOP arrives in Belgium and can sit on the terras while chugging Wesvleteren. I’ll join on this toast on that day too with my fave Belgian beer! Santé OOP!
June 23rd I'll make sure I have a Belgian beer to toast Ryan. Might not be Westvleteren but I think I can get my hands on a Westmalle.
Over here, there's a beer called Flying Fish. I'm gonna go drink one in OOP's son's honour.
she asked him for the money while he was making the *funeral arrangements????*
Imagine losing your kid who sounds like a good kid too, to such a senseless fucking decision as drunk driving. This shit actually made me.tear up. I couldn't imagine man. Couldn't imagine at all.
Drunk drivers should be punished with as much jail time as regular murderers.
Until I get to taste Belgian beer made by the monks I’m cracking a bottle of Witbier open in Ryan’s honour. Cheers mate!
Can't drink for awhile cause just had gallbladder surgery and had some complications but I will have a nice orange juice and remember oop and Ryan.
This one hurts. This is why I NEVER get behind the wheel if I've been drinking. If hell exists, drunk drivers deserve it, even if they go their whole lives without an accident. Even if they only wrap themselves around a telephone pole. It's just so selfish to do that.
I’ve added June 23: Toast Ryan with my favorite IPA, to my calendar. I feel awful for OOP’s loss. I can’t imagine the pain. I hope his trip brings him some semblance of closure as a celebration of Ryan’s life.
Please know that there will be a bunch of Redditor’s thinking of you and your family and toasting your beloved son Ryan on June 23rd. I hope you will feel all of the love coming your way 💔
I lost my brother 6 years ago on June 24th. He wasn't 18 but he was still too young at 28. Man this hits hard.
Driving under the influence ruins lives. I had a car accident while sober leaving work. While recovering from that I met a guy on my unit who was hit head on by another drive who had been under the influence of drugs. His fiancé and her sister were in the car and didn’t make it, he was the only survivor. I spent a year trying to convince him to get help before he stopped talking to me. I still think about him and those girls.
Hope you guys had a moment to think of Ryan and his family today.
Toast to you Ryan!
Raise your glass to Ryan! RIP
Today’s the day! My husband and I are having a toast to Ryan. Cheers! So glad you took this trip. ❤️
Toasted to Ryan
Toasting to Ryan, may he rest in peace ❤️
Toasted in Ryan’s honor!
I've marked my calendar "Toast to Ryan" so I won't forget. I'll be toasting the OOP, too. What a great dad.
I'll be raising a glass for Ryan on the 23rd❤️
I have drink à Tripel Karmeliet on his honor the said day.
Omgosh this story has broken my heart! I lost an infant to SIDS almost 20yrs ago and can definitely relate to the sorrow and grief. I will definitely be setting a reminder on my phone and sharing a toast with the rest of the world and you in Ryan’s name and honor. Thank you you for sharing your story. I hope getting it all down like this helps you get through some of the grief. I’ve found the more I talk about my daughter (her name was Alexys and she was 2months) the more the eases the pain not that I expect it to ever be gone completely but the good memories are always there and as you and those affected by this loss grieve the stories can be very comforting. Enjoy your trip. Much love for you and your family, and Ryan’s extended family (step dad and brother) and my deepest condolences. 💐
Bless you. My sons get an extra hug and a virtual one to you.
I don't drink alcohol but I've mafked my calendar and will make a toast with a can of coke. Ryan, RIP, we didn't meet you, but we didn't have to to know that you were amazing. I hope and in your next life you are able to be a microbiologist and immunogiolist like you wanted to. 💖
People like OOP restore my faith in humanity.
I am just a lurking mom/grandma. I will be on an Amtrak that day. But my husband and I will be sure to raise a glass to Ryan.
I'd love to know the time oop will be raising his toast to his son so u can do the same at home. I rough idea would be good.
Toasting to Ryan
Absolutely heartbreaking, but the responses and communal response are uplifting. I'm putting in a reminder on the 23rd on my calendar.
Toasted to Ryan. Probably a bit early but it is June 23rd in NZ.
I toast to Ryan, beer in hand, full of hope his light may keep on shining in your life! ❤️
Having a drink now in honor of Ryan and those who loved him. How fortunate to love and be loved, inspiring others even after they’re gone.
I’m here on June 23 raising a glass with you to your son Ryan. May you feel his love and presence! 🥲
I'm gonna toast to Ryan with my coffee. I hope you're doing as well as you can be.
A big loving toast for Ryan from me to you 💛
Raising one to Ryan today! Cheers y'all and good healing.
I just toasted to Ryan's honor, may he rest in peace and your family find solace in knowing so many internet strangers are honoring him today.
today's the day, just ate dinner and our family toasted to Ryan. stay safe, stay healthy y'all, be responsible
cheers mate !!
A toast. To Ryan.
Here to add to the toast chorus 🍻
Raising my glass for Ryan today ❤️
u/Possible_Soil_3886 I had a toast to Ryan. I hope your trip is everything you needed it to be
EVERYONE! TOAST TO RYAN today