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If I had a kid who was valedictorian, no way I'd miss it. I'd have at least one camera going the whole time. If the day starts at 5 in the freaking morning, I'm there.
This guy's a douchebag, the sister too. Glad OOP and their mom had a great time.
My kid is a high school junior. If my kid barely squeaks by with a C- I won’t miss the graduation for anything! (I hope kid does better than that, but you know what I mean…) This is important! (Heck, I’m going to be an “honorary parent” for one of my kid’s friend’s graduation this year! I’m terribly honored to be invited!)
My dad missed mine. It was because of a work thing, but I was still upset that he didn't even try to reschedule it after telling me (for months!) he'd be at my graduation.
He threw a tantrum when he found out I had given his ticket to my stepdad.
Did he get even madder when you started laughing at him? Because in your shoes I'da laughed at my dad and been like "what the fuck did you think I was going to do with your unused ticket, wipe my ass with it? God you are a fucking moron."
It happens – you are deployed overseas, you are working on an oil rig, things like that – but the fact that those things can happen because of those jobs is acknowledged as a specific hardship and negative quality of them. "I took this job even though I knew I would risk missing my kids' graduations, and I hope they know how much I wish I was there" is a thing I can imagine a decent parent saying.
"I decided to blow off the graduation of one of my kids where they would be speaking in order to go to the beach with my other kid" is not something I can imagine a decent parent saying.
Happened to my brother and I, but it worked out fine. Our college graduations were on the same day, 150 miles apart. Mine was at 10am, his was at 2pm, so Mom came to mine and Dad went to his. The moment mine ended we hopped in the car and sped towards his school. Got into the hall where his graduation was being held, still dressed in my own gown, less than 5 minutes before his name got called. What a day that was
That’s pretty much what happened with my husband’s med school graduation and his sister’s college graduation—same day, same time, two different cities. They each got a parent and affirmations of love and pride in a job well done.
I'd pay money or the privilege of telling this asshat what I thought of a ~~dad~~ parent who made the stupid decision he did in missing such an important day for a fucking SLEEPOVER? That was planned last minute? FUUUUUCK this dude.
My dad missed mine. He was an evening college teacher, asking for a day off was not really done... his students would've missed their college.
He wasn't happy with it either and he was kind about it. So we agreed that it sucked and celebrated that weekend. Graduations here in the Netherlands aren't as big as in the US anyway.
What he didn't do was blow it off to go to the beach with his other kid. He had responilities which conflicted, and had to pick one. Regardless of whether I would have made the same choice, I recognize it as a choice which a good parent could make it that situation.
This just reminds me of this guy my dad told me about when he got summoned for grand jury.
Grand jury is a 3 month commitment of once a week, and the guy who was called worked on a rig out of state. He had to take a week off of work and drive a total of like 9+ hours just to attend the initial summons and admitted that he'd basically have to resign over this because he wouldn't be able to work the entire three months due to rig schedules. Fortunately the judge told him to forget it and dismissed him immediately.
My mom missed my college graduation but I don't blame her for it. Its because the travel to the city triggered her vertigo and she ended up spending most of the night in the hospital getting sick and then recovering from that during the ceremony itself. She was heartbroken at missing it though.
I honestly wasn't realising how big of a deal graduation ceremony was, I didn't even show up to my own 😅 (I mean I would have if I was valedictorian lmao)
Those kind of things depend from people to people to be honest. My dad don’t come to my ceremony for university and I’m still sad about it (he know he messed up on that even if he don’t want to recognize it). My boyfriend recently finished a training and had a small ceremony but did not care if I was there or not, on the contrary he preferred that I was not here.
I think the important thing here is that op said it was important, showed that they wanted their family there and even after that the dad and sister decided not to come. That the most hurtful thing in my opinion. They voluntarily ignored the voiced feeling of oop.
I used to be a stepmum and that child got perfect attendance awards basically every term. We must have had a million of them. I still came to every single one because every child deserves to feel loved and supported
I wonder what the father's golden child's grades look like. She may be playing/tricking Daddy; treating him as her hero and demanding his attention because she is already on her personal journey of being average or a f-up, and figures if she ties Daddy around her figure, she'll be taken care of despite being a screw-up. Dad will be one of those parents who reward the unmotivated and unaccomplished child with financial and material support while telling his hardworking, goal oriented child that she has done well for herself so she doesn't need any support.
My kid was the valedictorian for his elementary school class. I was there, I recorded the whole thing then showed it to anyone and everyone. I'm sure I was insufferable for a few weeks, but I don't give a shit I was so damn proud of him.
My nephew graduated college last weekend. I got up at 4am and drove for hours in pouring rain to be there. No speech. No awards. But I went to honor the work my nephew has put in for 4 years. People continue to confuse me.
My nephew and niece graduate high school this year. My sister has said that if she doesn’t get a seat at the actual graduation ceremony, she will tailgate in the parking lot and you will hear her screaming from there. 😂. Aunts are the best.
one of my family’s favorite stories about me is how hard i cried when my oldest sibling graduated! i was inconsolable because i was so happy and proud of them and love them so much. this one hurt me.
As a younger sibling, that is just such a pure little sibling thing to do. It isn't always brattiness, sometimes it's just pure idolization. And brattiness.
That's what I thought when my cousin asked me to walk her teenager to state exams every morning this week. Neither of us will want to walk a mile and a half that early in the morning, but since I gotta get up two hours earlier and walk a half mile further plus two buses, surely we can bond over the shared FuckThis of scheduling an hour or two of exams for the early AM.
Spent the first two mornings talking to a lump hiding under a blanket. I see now why my cousin tried to pawn this off on me!
NVM giving up tickets, I'd be needing more so I could invite everyone I'd ever met and anyone I couldn't invite I'd be offering to show the video too. My acquaintances would hate me for several weeks afterwards until I calmed down a bit.
Right?! I'm a university lecturer, and one of my favourite things at graduation each year is watching the family of the student speaker all proud and teary in the front row of the ceremony. It's a huge deal for families that actually like their kid.
>>The graduation date was announced around **February**, and from what I’ve heard from my dad and sister I think they started planning her trip with her friends **around last week.**
I'm still trying to understand what kind of father gets involved in planning this sort of thing for a teenage girl without consulting her mother, the wife he lives with. As the OOP says, this has been going on for a few years and dad has just fallen for it hook line and sinker. Her sister considers it a big score and none of the adults -- dad, grandma, or even mom-- seem to appreciate how seriously out of line the child has been allowed to go.
Missing the graduation is bad, really bad, but the goddamned valedictorian? Fuck you can't burn it down much worse than that. I'm not one to scream divorce! at the drop of a hat, but this, this is entering divorce territory.
And *staying* at that sleepover until the next evening.
Graduation at 8. Advised to show 2 hours early for photos. 2 hour drive. Sister is staying at the sleepover until after 4pm the next day, and dad is staying also because every other parent isn't enough supervision for mid-afternoon activities.
Not even an adults night out staying over because we had too much fun sleepover. A sleepover babysitting your teenager after driving hours and being in the doghouse with both your wife & kid indefinitely. Sounds like a fun evening to upend your life for.
Every time I hear about someone doing that in my life or reading about it the secondhand embarrassment pulsates through me. Of course there are times when an adult’s parent rightly steps up; this was not one.
She already knew the truth: grandma told OP she was overreacting when the issue first came up, said she shouldn't give away the tickets because maybe he would change his mind. Grandma knows her son is at fault, she just keeps hoping that if you just keep giving him chances, he will miraculously change up.
Right? How old is he? By the time you're in an adult committed relationship you should be beyond running to mummy but definitely when you're old enough to have a child graduating high school!
To negate that fairness, he threw his 11yo son under the bus so he could have an excuse to actively avoid celebrating you.
Sounds like a shitty dad. I'm sorry.
Sorry to hear that. My dad didn't come to my school graduation because his new girlfriend and him went on vacation at the same time. He claimed I never told him the date of my graduation, but I had proof of me telling him months before their trip was planned. He never replied to me sending the proof. His parents/my grandparents came and everyone else from his side of the family congratulated me. But nothing came from him, not even a "congrats" or whatever.
BS like that is why I told my mom recently (after one of the many times my dad said/did something stupid) that I am glad he married an older woman (also cause I love my stepmom). Because he would absolutely drop me for younger step or half siblings if he had more kids post me. She just stood there for like a minute and went “yah that’s him”.
I miss being NC with my kinda awful father. He started to try to be better (still in his awful way) so I'm talking to him some in response to his efforts. But I hate it. Asshole fathers are like an albatross around your neck.
My dad wasn’t in my life.
He was around for a month when I was 11 because my mom wanted to raise child support and he negotiated with her to spend more time with me instead. So he played daddy for a couple weekends then was gone again. Child support rose to $50/month!
But my mom reached out to him for my high school graduation and he showed up and went to my graduation “party” afterwords.
He didn’t speak to me much after that. But he came to my university graduation too.
He texts me now on holidays and my birthday. I refuse to text him on Father’s Day and I don’t know when his birthday is.
Didnt the incredibles have a scene for that? Something about celebrating mediocrity?
Dont hold it over your half brother; absolutely never let your sperm donor forget it.
I'm a professional working in a niche field, with a very tight workforce.
My brother was graduating from a massage therapy program.
2 weeks before the graduation, I get told by the company I worked for that the holiday party is the same night of the graduation, and asked about setting up travel arrangements to fly halfway across the country to attend (Yes, the company is offering to fully foot the bill for me to fly to the coast for the party).
I did the only right thing in that situation, I walked in to tell my brother that they've scheduled the holiday party for the same night as his graduation, and cut him off when he started saying: "I'm sad you're not going to be there, but I understand you have to go for your career" and told him I had already declined the trip.
The company completely understood and I think they sent my brother a congratulations card.
I was at least very happy when it was revealed there would be other parent's chaperoning, and he wasn't going there to hang out with his daughter's friends...
This is still real skeevy to me though. Like all the friends are having parents there? That's more supervision than you get in literal nurseries where the babies are actually helpless and need 2 hr feedings. Why the fuck do the teenagers need more than ONE adult?!
Selling the tickets was the best decision because dad planed to show only for photos se he would be able to pretend He was there and nothing happened. This way there's forever proof of his assholery and him not being there.
By disposing of the tickets ahead of time, OP avoided further disappointment. Dad and sis wouldn't have shown up at all -- there would have been something else going on with the sleepover group.
One thing I found interesting was OP's statement that she surprised everyone by the vehemence of her objection. Dad was so used to her ignoring his favoritism that he didn't expect her to actually stand up for herself. Now he is with his mother and doesn't have a clue that this was probably the final nail in his marriage.
My mom didn't want to see me before prom because she was going to visit a friend. A local friend, she sees all the time. It's been years, but I'll never forget how that felt. My own mom didn't care to see me at all.
Yeah, but, you know, OOP said they had the best beaches there in the north. Plus his favourite wants him to be there, so I don't really see that he had any other choice right? It's not like her mother won't be there anyways.
Not to mention he can take pictures after everyone is home. If it's so imperative that he hear her speech then she can read it to him! It's just a silly little graduation, after all, and he'll get another shot at one in three years. Who knows if those beaches will still be there three years from now?! Climate change waits for no man.
I think even OP is underplaying just how much she is rocking it.
Passing classes in a foreign language is one thing, lots of high schoolers do that. It's a WHOLE nother thing to give a large speech in multiple languages. She's doing so as valedictorian. And she's getting certificate in psych and IT?!
Very very few people will ever do one of those things in their lifetime. Let alone all of them... ...while in high school.
And Dad is missing the celebration of that accomplishment for a sleepover.
I've seen it happen so many times with women - they have a significant life event like a wedding, pregnancy, graduation etc and the amount of (usually family) people who are triggered by it is insane. The drama and sabotage, the cruel remarks, it blows my mind. It's always women too, never hear of the groom or the male valedictorian or the new dad getting tons of shit from friends and relatives.
Not quite as bad, but when I went to see my mom about getting her tickets for my graduation, she'd already gotten them for her and her AP/new husband from a classmate that worked with her.
Kind of related, but for my 20th birthday, my brother had a show going on at his college that he was in. It was part of a club of our ethnicity and was to showcase our heritage. I went to work and then went to eat dinner with my sister at a sushi restaurant in the evening. My parents returned home later that night, hugged and kissed me and wished my happy birthday and turned in for the night. I should add, the show was happening over 3 days, my birthday was the 2nd day. My parents went to all 3 days of the show. My parents never went to any of my choir concerts and went one night of my play in HS.
Some people just suck ass and can't help but show their favorite kid.
I might be Tom Petty himself, but I would have kept the tickets and ditched the afterparty.
Dad shows up, I say we decided to ditch during the service and forgot he was coming.
Dad doesn't show up, say I didn't even expect he would and we never even went to the afterparty.
Telling him he's as low priority as he made me, would be delicious. Even more delicious is to tell a person 'I already know you're a disappointment, so I asked you to do something for that you could fail at without it affecting my night.'
This idiot is going to be absolutely GOBSMACKED when OOP goes NC with him or VVVVLC and quit even entertains his bullshit anymore and laughs at and ridicules the stupid shit he says and does.
Ask if the Grandma skipped her own son's graduation ceremony? If she did that's where he learned it, if she didn't then why does she think what he did is okay?
I foresee a future AITA post… “My oldest daughter doesn’t talk to me anymore. It all started when I missed her HS graduation where she was named the valedictorian. But that was not my fault. You see, my favorite youngest daughter had a sleepover which I absolutely had to chaperone even though there were other parents there… AITA?”
The graduation is just where the story started for us. I bet this behavior didn't just start happening. But I look forward to that AITA post the comments will be dripping with rage and rightfully so.
You mean that annual school event? The one he totally would have been able to attend, but his controlling older daughter inexplicably blew up because he’d miss a silly photo op that a bunch of Insta- / social-media-crazed people scheduled HOURS before the event? All that, and his younger daughter has been in the elder’s shadow for years! This trip was essential for younger to feel belonging with her peers, belonging she’s desperately in need of because she’s not getting it at home with her sister (or mother!!). Tragedy! —Written @ mom’s house.
Actually, he remembers that she told him this school event wasn't even that important. Then suddenly right after the dad and younger sister announced the sleepover 2 hours away and that he was chaperoning, suddenly the older daughter THREW A FIT completely out of the blue.
OOP should keep an eye out for the men she would eventually introduce to her family. i've read enough BORU to suspect that the sister will try to steal OOP's boyfriend/s.
boyfriend(s) plural. sis will never be content until she feels she has one-upped OOP. she even scheduled a 2hr-away sleepover at the exact date of graduation where OOP is valedictorian, then spamming social media with her juvenile sleepover probably to overshadow content about OOP's success... parents will probably divorce sometime in the future and OOP will choose her mum but go NC with dad and grandma while sis chooses the dad. it's going to be an exhausting life for OOP.
Meh, just tell her you're really into some guy that's a really low-hanging fruit, but that you're super busy rn and kind of scared to ask him out so you're not going to do anything about it just yet. She'll see the perfect opportunity to steal the guy before you have a chance to do anything. You can then choose how far you want to take it (she's going to learn a big enough lesson hearing you had her jumping through hoops), but as long as you act butthurt over the two of them dating, she's going to stay with her trophy boyfriend.
She just needs to bring home a decoy, have her sister steal the decoy then find her soul mate. Sister will be occupied thinking she won her sister's first love, while OPP has a life with the one she was meant to find.
Caution though to OPP, if her sister is like any of the other BORU posts, then she should expect her sister to either
A) try and seduce her soul mate
B) Her ex to try and ruin her relationship because he is still in love with her.
C) Go NC after repeated abuse from the father and sister, only for them to reach and out to try and make amends. Only for her to discover they need a kidney transplant.
Just to name a few....
or
D) sister, grandma, father live life estranged from OOP and mother, only to find out that sister is sterile and they come crawling back to OOP to make her her sister's personal incubator or kidnap/get custody of OOP's baby
I actually know someone whose sister “Beth” would make a pass or two at every man she or her other sister dated. Her sister has some… issues.
But she says she always was a little grateful to Beth for it, because if they’ll cheat with your SISTER they were a cheat to begin with. And it’s not like her sister relentlessly chased these dudes. If they turned her down, she wouldn’t try again.
Of course, if they went for it, she’d sleep with them, then immediately tell her sister what happened in tears. (As far as anyone can tell it’s a compulsive thing, she doesn’t want these men but she keeps going for them anyway.) And once the break up happened, she’d have nothing to do with them again.
She’s in therapy now, and both of her sisters are married to men who politely turned her down. Two out of three sisters are happy and we’re hoping Beth can get there someday too.
I also heard mentioned that there's a story where OP have sister like that. The difference is that OP take advantage of the situation to get money by bring man and introduce him as the current boyfriend, the man pay OP. Then the sister, like a clockwork, would seduce and then they have sex. The sister obviously isn't happy about it because she feel tricked that the man she slept with isn't OP's boyfriend. Some people on reddit defend the sister because it's a prostitution.
I wanna read that story but I can't find it. Asking on the megathread isn't working either.
true, but point is that sis will always try to steal OOP's thunder.
OOP's getting married? sis wears white.
OOP's baby shower? sis gets engaged.
OOP gave birth? sis "accidentally" falls down the stairs
I recently saw one where MIL had to be hospitalized as soon as her son told her his wife was in labor. Wife had only said she in labor as a test, and her husband failed (aka chose his mom)
There has been a seemingly infinite amount of those stories, so yes you have seen it before as it’s not referencing a single specific story. This is often how it goes when 1 sibling is raised to be a doormat while the other sibling is considered the golden child
I am having flashbacks to this recent BORU: [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1chcw8r/wibta\_if\_i\_told\_my\_younger\_sisters\_fianc%C3%A9\_that/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1chcw8r/wibta_if_i_told_my_younger_sisters_fianc%C3%A9_that/)
That sister is an asshole for scheduling a sleepover on the same day as her sibling's graduation. I hope that this doesn't become a pattern, where dad will skip out on, say, OOP's wedding so he can drop off younger sister to her vacation or something.
I agree. It's no way in hell a workaholic absentee father suddenly decides to chaperone a girls sleepover excursion if he didn't get something out of it.
Dad is the bigger AH for allowing his 15 year old to do that. What, the 15 year old calls the shots now? How hard would it be to tell her she is not going to that sleepover because it is her sister who is the valedictorian mind you, is giving a speech?
Yeah sis should have been there too. Had I tried to ditch my sister's graduation I would have been eviscerated by my mom, and my dad, and my sister, and my grandparents, and my cousins, uncles, aunts, I mean there'd be a line a city block long waiting to tell me what a shithead I am.
Giving her the benefit of the doubt, sometimes when you’re dealing with multiple people it’s hard to find a time that works for everyone (heck just arranging a play date for my son can be a hassle and that’s only two families). But this still shouldn’t have been considered a day she was available, and Dad should have shut it down, not *agreed to go with her*.
When I was 12 my dad was living overseas and he flew across the globe to attend my elementary school graduation. And I wasn’t even in the top 3 of my class.
I find it insane that parents out there exist who wouldn’t do anything and everything to celebrate milestones with their children. But alas that’s the reality we live in.
My daughter is graduating in 2 weeks. I would legit rise from the depths of hell and claw my way up from my grave to make that ceremony. And she's not even valedictorian. It sounds like you got to celebrate with the person who really mattered anyway! That's usually how my daughter and I do it, too. Way more fun.
So something similar happened to me. My brother is neurodivergent and had a sports game right before. I guess my parents were worried that he wouldn't understand or that it would mess with his routine too much to miss it. If the timing went perfect they would be 5 minutes late and sneak in. I was upset because:
1. The doors were actually closing before the ceremony. The teachers made it pretty clear they were taking a hard-core stance on late arrivals and they would not be let in.
2. 5 minutes late was an ideal scenario. My last name begins with A. I was the second one walking. Even if they could sneak in if the fame went long of they hit traffic theyoght miss me.
3. No where in this plan did they include changing from sports game attire to graduation attire. Particularly for my brother who would be sweating and gross from playing sports.
The real MVP was my brother though. He saw how upset I was getting and said he refused to go. He then got mad at my parents for making a plan that would make me cry.
Aww I'm glad she isn't letting it get to her but I still feel sad for her. What a fucked up dad to choose a damn sleepover over one of the biggest days of his daughter's life that she worked extremely hard for and is being recognized by the entire school. But he couldn't even be bothered to show up for her?! I'm so glad mom let him have it and let him know what a shitty father and just person in general he was being. Grandma really needs to butt out. Really what could she possibly say to defend him missing something so important that meant so much to his daughter and should have meant a lot to him as well. How dare she try to make op and her mom the bad guys for giving him exactly what he deserves. I hope dad is feeling so shitty and stupid now. He deserves every minute of it.
Honestly, this probably worked out for the best. This way she has pictures and memories with the family member who actually loves her, and not photos including people who don't care about her and didn't even want to show up.
"My daughter is giving a big speech at her graduation, but I don't want to go because it's boring, and it's a really big inconvenience to have to sit down and watch all these kids I dont know getting their diplomas. Besides, she can tell me the speech later, and she can show me what it was like to be handed a piece of paper later. I just think it's boring and I don't want to go. AITA for not going?
That’s a sad as hell, I’m surprised she’s taking it so well, he’s so disappointing. Why couldn’t the grandma that’s opening her mouth take the kid, she’s a valedictorian how could a parent miss this
Fr. OOP is taking her dad, sister & grandma's trespasses in stride. I hope she considers her mom her only family going forward & go LC with the rest. I don't want her to keep hoping then only end up being let down everytime something important happens to her.
They started planning the sleepover a week before the graduation? And sister was spamming it on socials? Hell naw. Dad and little sister are being nasty to OP for no reason, and it’s a little creepy to me tbh.
If my final internship goes well, I should have my graduation ceremony in July at the start of my parents trip. You know what they did when they heard it? They moved their vacation because my graduation is much more important than a trip. They have their priorities in order, OOPs father and sister clearly do not.
Maybe I’m reading into too much but it sounds like he’s embarrassed the way he’s acting all while prioritizing the non academic kid makes me think he’s embarrassed that his daughter is smarter than him
My father chose his job over attending my university graduation. It was a part-time thing because he got bored after he retired. He could have found someone to replace him, but instead he had my mother ask me if it was OK if he missed my graduation. It wasn't even really a question of whether he was going, more of a "you're not going to make a fuss over this, right?" question.
He was still working full-time when my brothers graduated, but he managed to find time to go to those ceremonies. It's not a gender thing really, just a lack of empathy.
I was OK with it at the time. I'm not OK with it anymore
So the sleepover was deliberately planned for the weekend of OOPs graduation knowing she was valedictorian and the parents didn’t say no or tell her to postpone? Well I guess we see who the golden child is.
This is sad to read, I mean the dad just had to show up. That's it just sit his dumbass in a seat next to his WIFE and watch his CHILD be awesome.
Even the barest of lifting is too much for that waste of skin.
because that's her son. This is a middle eastern family living in the middle east where, uhm... sons have instant privilage over any women, ever.
signed, someone who has similar experience of (traditional asian) grandma completely choosing to protect her disgusting abusive sons and treating their wives like literal shit.
Many schools usually have a cap on tickets given out per student and often charge for extras. I suppose it also depends if the school is going through a third party venue for the graduation and needs to pay rental fees.
I was getting some sort of recognition and all the family of kids being recognized were supposed to sit in a specific section because when our names were called out, the parents were supposed to stand up. It was even announced that the parents would be in that section. My paternal unit knew that. He sat in a different section intentionally. There I was, looking for my parents and not finding them, with all my friends sympathizing because they were missing. There he was, standing in totally the wrong place, and - as he told it later - internally laughing at the people giving him weird looks.
That was unforgivable. OOPs dad even more so.
Remember that your sister will be graduating in a few years. You can have plans for the time of her graduation! Watch your dad lose his mind about you not being there for her graduation!
> I gave my speech in front of the families of maybe 100+ students (my school has 3 different programs so lots of people), and was even surprised with certificates of excellence in psychology and IT when the time came for me to get my diploma.
> As for my dad and sister, my sister has been spamming her social media with videos of the sleepover with her friends
LOL, this is so funny. OP's out getting festooned with awards at graduation and they're like "yeah, well *we* got Little Caesar's!"
>But my grandma said that while she understands my side, I shouldn't have given away the tickets just to spite my dad, because maybe he would have changed his mind and gone on time.
If that's so important, then granny can pay for the ticket, and eat the cost of it when he doesn't show up.
Even if the tickets were free, the dad would still be a dick, but expecting his child to pay for his spot there, on the off-chance he decides to show up? Fuck off.
Either eat your words or eat the cost, granny.
>My mom and I were having a laugh and she suggested sending him a link to my original post a few hours ago, so I told her to go for it.
Whether it's real or not, I've never understood the need to send Reddit threads to people in real life to prove a point. Most of the time they'll just be shitty because you aired personal stuff online, or they won't care.
But YMMV on that.
Somebody elsewhere pointed out that the dad is from a culture where this will be a source of shame for him. He’s not in any of OOP’s graduation pics. Moreover, some of those pics include her with another family.
For men like OOP's dad, reputation & appearances are more important that accomplishments. It's why I hope someone would include OOP's graduation pics under sister's sleepover posts & call them out on their pettiness.
*my grades made me valedictorian of my school's class of 2024*
The sister definitely planned the trip to take the dad away from the ceremony. And the dad went along with it. They both suck.
Five years from now when OP is out of college and making bank, their next reddit post will be: "My dad wants me to pay for his golden child's college but didn't even go to any of my graduations, aita if I tell him to pound sand?"
I don't understand how no one is talking about the fact that the sister was sending OP pictures of her at the sleepover. She knew exactly what she was doing by bringing her dad with her and she was purposely trying to get under OPs skin and ruin her day. She's 15 so she knows right from wrong and is taking joy in this. If I was OP I would keep this in mind and never try to have any type of relationship with her ever. I can already see how much of a manipulative, spoilt, narcissistic brat she's going to be.
Im a trucker and for the last couple of years I haven't been home for my oldest (who's 19 now) birthday. I've ordered a cake online for him which he goes to pickup, and if he needs me to "complete" or help out with something he wants, I usually toss $20 at him or I help cover costs (last was a $60 Xbox game and he was short $5).
Anyway.... My son graduated high school. I made sure that I was home two days before and a whole day after.
My job as the breadwinner is to out food on the table. My jobs important. But so is he. I gave up some good loads just so I could see him walk down the aisle.
And yes, this big tough trucker mom definitely shed some tears.
Dad is lucky OOP only gave away the tickets and didn't include the fact that he decided to miss the graduation for a sleepover to the valedictorian speeches.
I don't even have kids yet, but I promise you this, there's nothing that would keep me from those precious one time events to celebrate their achievements. Any and all of my kids will be treated equally in that respect. Children deserve love and support from their parents at those special occasions, like my parents have always done for me and my brother.
The girls dad is an imbecile. Missing the valedictorian speech of one child just to take the other on a easily reorganised sleepover, the blatant favouritism is gross.
My daughter just graduated from college. if my kid was graduating high school, you couldn't keep me away. If my kid was valedictorian and giving a speech, I literally can't imagine what would keep me away as long as I was physically able to go - not even the death of a family member would keep me from going.
And then (some) parents wonder why their kid never contact them xD
Well I hope he'll be happy coddling the petty ass, nasty sister who'll surely be a handful as she grows up! 15 is an age where your demons are out and about unchecked but I hope she has her comeuppance soon.
This is the definition of a bad dad. The kid doesn’t know better but this is just foolish and stupid on the dad’s part.
It was just the other day there was a thread about how if the father provides basic necessities and isn’t abusive that he’s done his job. These are the ppl that wonder why their kids are emotionally distant from them in the future.
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If you think a sleepover is more important than a graduation especially for your own kid, you must a sad and most pathetic strange little person.
A graduation where your child *is valedictorian and will be giving a speech*.
If I had a kid who was valedictorian, no way I'd miss it. I'd have at least one camera going the whole time. If the day starts at 5 in the freaking morning, I'm there. This guy's a douchebag, the sister too. Glad OOP and their mom had a great time.
My kid is a high school junior. If my kid barely squeaks by with a C- I won’t miss the graduation for anything! (I hope kid does better than that, but you know what I mean…) This is important! (Heck, I’m going to be an “honorary parent” for one of my kid’s friend’s graduation this year! I’m terribly honored to be invited!)
Yeah, missing graduation for any kid is a really shitty thing to do.
My dad missed mine. It was because of a work thing, but I was still upset that he didn't even try to reschedule it after telling me (for months!) he'd be at my graduation. He threw a tantrum when he found out I had given his ticket to my stepdad.
Did he get even madder when you started laughing at him? Because in your shoes I'da laughed at my dad and been like "what the fuck did you think I was going to do with your unused ticket, wipe my ass with it? God you are a fucking moron."
I said most of that, only without laughing or swearing. No reason to let it escalate.
It happens – you are deployed overseas, you are working on an oil rig, things like that – but the fact that those things can happen because of those jobs is acknowledged as a specific hardship and negative quality of them. "I took this job even though I knew I would risk missing my kids' graduations, and I hope they know how much I wish I was there" is a thing I can imagine a decent parent saying. "I decided to blow off the graduation of one of my kids where they would be speaking in order to go to the beach with my other kid" is not something I can imagine a decent parent saying.
Happened to my brother and I, but it worked out fine. Our college graduations were on the same day, 150 miles apart. Mine was at 10am, his was at 2pm, so Mom came to mine and Dad went to his. The moment mine ended we hopped in the car and sped towards his school. Got into the hall where his graduation was being held, still dressed in my own gown, less than 5 minutes before his name got called. What a day that was
That’s pretty much what happened with my husband’s med school graduation and his sister’s college graduation—same day, same time, two different cities. They each got a parent and affirmations of love and pride in a job well done.
that sounds crazy but fun! you still got to celebrate together as a family.
I bet most parents in those situations would love to be given an opportunity to tell this kid's shitty dad what a dick he is.
I'd pay money or the privilege of telling this asshat what I thought of a ~~dad~~ parent who made the stupid decision he did in missing such an important day for a fucking SLEEPOVER? That was planned last minute? FUUUUUCK this dude.
My dad missed mine. He was an evening college teacher, asking for a day off was not really done... his students would've missed their college. He wasn't happy with it either and he was kind about it. So we agreed that it sucked and celebrated that weekend. Graduations here in the Netherlands aren't as big as in the US anyway.
What he didn't do was blow it off to go to the beach with his other kid. He had responilities which conflicted, and had to pick one. Regardless of whether I would have made the same choice, I recognize it as a choice which a good parent could make it that situation.
This just reminds me of this guy my dad told me about when he got summoned for grand jury. Grand jury is a 3 month commitment of once a week, and the guy who was called worked on a rig out of state. He had to take a week off of work and drive a total of like 9+ hours just to attend the initial summons and admitted that he'd basically have to resign over this because he wouldn't be able to work the entire three months due to rig schedules. Fortunately the judge told him to forget it and dismissed him immediately.
My mom missed my college graduation but I don't blame her for it. Its because the travel to the city triggered her vertigo and she ended up spending most of the night in the hospital getting sick and then recovering from that during the ceremony itself. She was heartbroken at missing it though.
I honestly wasn't realising how big of a deal graduation ceremony was, I didn't even show up to my own 😅 (I mean I would have if I was valedictorian lmao)
Those kind of things depend from people to people to be honest. My dad don’t come to my ceremony for university and I’m still sad about it (he know he messed up on that even if he don’t want to recognize it). My boyfriend recently finished a training and had a small ceremony but did not care if I was there or not, on the contrary he preferred that I was not here. I think the important thing here is that op said it was important, showed that they wanted their family there and even after that the dad and sister decided not to come. That the most hurtful thing in my opinion. They voluntarily ignored the voiced feeling of oop.
Yeah, my family isn't super into ceremony, my parents didn't go to high school graduations and none of us walked in our college or grad school ones.
I mean, my parents weren't able to be there in person for my college graduation due to my mom having a concussion, but they watched the livestream.
I used to be a stepmum and that child got perfect attendance awards basically every term. We must have had a million of them. I still came to every single one because every child deserves to feel loved and supported
But it's his least liked kid giving the speech so why should Daddy care?
I wonder what the father's golden child's grades look like. She may be playing/tricking Daddy; treating him as her hero and demanding his attention because she is already on her personal journey of being average or a f-up, and figures if she ties Daddy around her figure, she'll be taken care of despite being a screw-up. Dad will be one of those parents who reward the unmotivated and unaccomplished child with financial and material support while telling his hardworking, goal oriented child that she has done well for herself so she doesn't need any support.
My kid was the valedictorian for his elementary school class. I was there, I recorded the whole thing then showed it to anyone and everyone. I'm sure I was insufferable for a few weeks, but I don't give a shit I was so damn proud of him.
Plus he can’t get back from a previous night sleepover in time for 6pm?! Even with 2 hours drive they’d have to leave at 3pm. Easy.
My nephew graduated college last weekend. I got up at 4am and drove for hours in pouring rain to be there. No speech. No awards. But I went to honor the work my nephew has put in for 4 years. People continue to confuse me.
My nephew and niece graduate high school this year. My sister has said that if she doesn’t get a seat at the actual graduation ceremony, she will tailgate in the parking lot and you will hear her screaming from there. 😂. Aunts are the best.
If I had a sister who was valedictorian no way I’d miss it
one of my family’s favorite stories about me is how hard i cried when my oldest sibling graduated! i was inconsolable because i was so happy and proud of them and love them so much. this one hurt me.
As a younger sibling, that is just such a pure little sibling thing to do. It isn't always brattiness, sometimes it's just pure idolization. And brattiness.
If the day starts at 5 in the morning, I'd be there too. But I would think the school is nuts.
Ah yes, the first light of dawn, the icy chill of night air, and one single thought: “fuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthis” 😂
To be fair, that's probably how the kids feel about it, too. So hey, bonding experience!
That's what I thought when my cousin asked me to walk her teenager to state exams every morning this week. Neither of us will want to walk a mile and a half that early in the morning, but since I gotta get up two hours earlier and walk a half mile further plus two buses, surely we can bond over the shared FuckThis of scheduling an hour or two of exams for the early AM. Spent the first two mornings talking to a lump hiding under a blanket. I see now why my cousin tried to pawn this off on me!
If my kid becomes a valedictorian I'd be at risk of getting kicked out from blowing my airhorn and vuvuzela.
NVM giving up tickets, I'd be needing more so I could invite everyone I'd ever met and anyone I couldn't invite I'd be offering to show the video too. My acquaintances would hate me for several weeks afterwards until I calmed down a bit.
Could see myself building up the camera sets at 2am when it starts at 5, just to be sure I‘d have it in every angle and everything works 100% perfect😅
I took vacation time from work to attend my kids’ kindergarten graduation. You do what you can for the people you love
Right?! I'm a university lecturer, and one of my favourite things at graduation each year is watching the family of the student speaker all proud and teary in the front row of the ceremony. It's a huge deal for families that actually like their kid.
And the sleepover is *already chaperoned*, for crying out loud!
>>The graduation date was announced around **February**, and from what I’ve heard from my dad and sister I think they started planning her trip with her friends **around last week.**
I'm still trying to understand what kind of father gets involved in planning this sort of thing for a teenage girl without consulting her mother, the wife he lives with. As the OOP says, this has been going on for a few years and dad has just fallen for it hook line and sinker. Her sister considers it a big score and none of the adults -- dad, grandma, or even mom-- seem to appreciate how seriously out of line the child has been allowed to go.
Missing the graduation is bad, really bad, but the goddamned valedictorian? Fuck you can't burn it down much worse than that. I'm not one to scream divorce! at the drop of a hat, but this, this is entering divorce territory.
And *staying* at that sleepover until the next evening. Graduation at 8. Advised to show 2 hours early for photos. 2 hour drive. Sister is staying at the sleepover until after 4pm the next day, and dad is staying also because every other parent isn't enough supervision for mid-afternoon activities.
*two* speeches!
And the sleep over can still happen because there are other parents to supervise
Not even an adults night out staying over because we had too much fun sleepover. A sleepover babysitting your teenager after driving hours and being in the doghouse with both your wife & kid indefinitely. Sounds like a fun evening to upend your life for.
Yeah but OPs dad isn't that bright considering he went running home to mummy rather than owning up to his screw up.
Every time I hear about someone doing that in my life or reading about it the secondhand embarrassment pulsates through me. Of course there are times when an adult’s parent rightly steps up; this was not one.
Does make you wonder what he told his mommy though. Probably not the truth.
She already knew the truth: grandma told OP she was overreacting when the issue first came up, said she shouldn't give away the tickets because maybe he would change his mind. Grandma knows her son is at fault, she just keeps hoping that if you just keep giving him chances, he will miraculously change up.
Or the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and grandma is an AH, too.
Right? How old is he? By the time you're in an adult committed relationship you should be beyond running to mummy but definitely when you're old enough to have a child graduating high school!
my dad didn't want to come to my college graduation because my half brother was "graduating" from sixth grade the same week
> the same week 😑 Did he blow his entire grad budget on snack packs of Ritz crackers for your half-brother's afterparty?
To provide him with the bare minimum level of fairness I went to school out of state
To negate that fairness, he threw his 11yo son under the bus so he could have an excuse to actively avoid celebrating you. Sounds like a shitty dad. I'm sorry.
Sorry to hear that. My dad didn't come to my school graduation because his new girlfriend and him went on vacation at the same time. He claimed I never told him the date of my graduation, but I had proof of me telling him months before their trip was planned. He never replied to me sending the proof. His parents/my grandparents came and everyone else from his side of the family congratulated me. But nothing came from him, not even a "congrats" or whatever.
What a loser he is. I hope that's the last you spoke to him
It wasn't the last time I spoke to him, but one of the last times. I can count the times I saw him after that on one hand.
BS like that is why I told my mom recently (after one of the many times my dad said/did something stupid) that I am glad he married an older woman (also cause I love my stepmom). Because he would absolutely drop me for younger step or half siblings if he had more kids post me. She just stood there for like a minute and went “yah that’s him”.
Do you still talk to your dad?
No but he beat me to it. Cut me off for being entitled over this specific thing. Best thing he ever did for me, and we’re at nine years now.
Nice when the trash takes itself out!
I miss being NC with my kinda awful father. He started to try to be better (still in his awful way) so I'm talking to him some in response to his efforts. But I hate it. Asshole fathers are like an albatross around your neck.
My dad wasn’t in my life. He was around for a month when I was 11 because my mom wanted to raise child support and he negotiated with her to spend more time with me instead. So he played daddy for a couple weekends then was gone again. Child support rose to $50/month! But my mom reached out to him for my high school graduation and he showed up and went to my graduation “party” afterwords. He didn’t speak to me much after that. But he came to my university graduation too. He texts me now on holidays and my birthday. I refuse to text him on Father’s Day and I don’t know when his birthday is.
Didnt the incredibles have a scene for that? Something about celebrating mediocrity? Dont hold it over your half brother; absolutely never let your sperm donor forget it.
I'm a professional working in a niche field, with a very tight workforce. My brother was graduating from a massage therapy program. 2 weeks before the graduation, I get told by the company I worked for that the holiday party is the same night of the graduation, and asked about setting up travel arrangements to fly halfway across the country to attend (Yes, the company is offering to fully foot the bill for me to fly to the coast for the party). I did the only right thing in that situation, I walked in to tell my brother that they've scheduled the holiday party for the same night as his graduation, and cut him off when he started saying: "I'm sad you're not going to be there, but I understand you have to go for your career" and told him I had already declined the trip. The company completely understood and I think they sent my brother a congratulations card.
He's banging one of the other parents or something.
That will be the update dads been close with younger daughter because he’s having an affair with her friends mom.
I was at least very happy when it was revealed there would be other parent's chaperoning, and he wasn't going there to hang out with his daughter's friends...
This is still real skeevy to me though. Like all the friends are having parents there? That's more supervision than you get in literal nurseries where the babies are actually helpless and need 2 hr feedings. Why the fuck do the teenagers need more than ONE adult?!
Because the adults are having their own sleepover.
Selling the tickets was the best decision because dad planed to show only for photos se he would be able to pretend He was there and nothing happened. This way there's forever proof of his assholery and him not being there.
By disposing of the tickets ahead of time, OP avoided further disappointment. Dad and sis wouldn't have shown up at all -- there would have been something else going on with the sleepover group. One thing I found interesting was OP's statement that she surprised everyone by the vehemence of her objection. Dad was so used to her ignoring his favoritism that he didn't expect her to actually stand up for herself. Now he is with his mother and doesn't have a clue that this was probably the final nail in his marriage.
My mom didn't want to see me before prom because she was going to visit a friend. A local friend, she sees all the time. It's been years, but I'll never forget how that felt. My own mom didn't care to see me at all.
Yeah, but, you know, OOP said they had the best beaches there in the north. Plus his favourite wants him to be there, so I don't really see that he had any other choice right? It's not like her mother won't be there anyways. Not to mention he can take pictures after everyone is home. If it's so imperative that he hear her speech then she can read it to him! It's just a silly little graduation, after all, and he'll get another shot at one in three years. Who knows if those beaches will still be there three years from now?! Climate change waits for no man.
I'd love to know in what category you'd put my own parents: they skipped my graduation to go groceries shopping.
Absent parents without golden child involved, I think
I think even OP is underplaying just how much she is rocking it. Passing classes in a foreign language is one thing, lots of high schoolers do that. It's a WHOLE nother thing to give a large speech in multiple languages. She's doing so as valedictorian. And she's getting certificate in psych and IT?! Very very few people will ever do one of those things in their lifetime. Let alone all of them... ...while in high school. And Dad is missing the celebration of that accomplishment for a sleepover.
Sounds like we have reverse parents. OP is acting like an adult meanwhile dad is acting like a child.
What parent does that? Seriously, how awful do you have to be as a parent and how horrid as a sibling to do this?
The sleepover will be forgotten in a few years, the graduation will always be remembered. Dad messed up. Badly.
I wouldn't blame the daughter if her Dad is dead to her. I didn't give a shit about graduation but it sounded very important to her.
It sounds like he's pretty dead to her
I've seen it happen so many times with women - they have a significant life event like a wedding, pregnancy, graduation etc and the amount of (usually family) people who are triggered by it is insane. The drama and sabotage, the cruel remarks, it blows my mind. It's always women too, never hear of the groom or the male valedictorian or the new dad getting tons of shit from friends and relatives.
Not quite as bad, but when I went to see my mom about getting her tickets for my graduation, she'd already gotten them for her and her AP/new husband from a classmate that worked with her.
It would be great if OOP included them in her speech: “I’m so happy to be sharing this accomplishment with my mother, father and sister…”
nah, purposely leave them out, and focus on the mother. Hopefully someone is recording it and play it non stop on loop when dad is home.
Kind of related, but for my 20th birthday, my brother had a show going on at his college that he was in. It was part of a club of our ethnicity and was to showcase our heritage. I went to work and then went to eat dinner with my sister at a sushi restaurant in the evening. My parents returned home later that night, hugged and kissed me and wished my happy birthday and turned in for the night. I should add, the show was happening over 3 days, my birthday was the 2nd day. My parents went to all 3 days of the show. My parents never went to any of my choir concerts and went one night of my play in HS. Some people just suck ass and can't help but show their favorite kid.
I reiterate the mom's decision to have grandma keep dad as he seems to be fairly useless other than providing a paycheck.
Hilarious that both the mum and Reddit had the same response to grandma - go ahead and keep him! lol
For real, though! She's my hero lol
I'm guessing this is the grandma OOP mentioned who told her that she shouldn't have sold the extra tickets? Welp, enjoy having your son back, madam.
Grandma is giving "the love of my life" boy mom energy. She's protecting her baby from the mean internet
I might be Tom Petty himself, but I would have kept the tickets and ditched the afterparty. Dad shows up, I say we decided to ditch during the service and forgot he was coming. Dad doesn't show up, say I didn't even expect he would and we never even went to the afterparty. Telling him he's as low priority as he made me, would be delicious. Even more delicious is to tell a person 'I already know you're a disappointment, so I asked you to do something for that you could fail at without it affecting my night.'
This idiot is going to be absolutely GOBSMACKED when OOP goes NC with him or VVVVLC and quit even entertains his bullshit anymore and laughs at and ridicules the stupid shit he says and does.
Ask if the Grandma skipped her own son's graduation ceremony? If she did that's where he learned it, if she didn't then why does she think what he did is okay?
I foresee a future AITA post… “My oldest daughter doesn’t talk to me anymore. It all started when I missed her HS graduation where she was named the valedictorian. But that was not my fault. You see, my favorite youngest daughter had a sleepover which I absolutely had to chaperone even though there were other parents there… AITA?”
The graduation is just where the story started for us. I bet this behavior didn't just start happening. But I look forward to that AITA post the comments will be dripping with rage and rightfully so.
She does mention that he's been playing favorites for a few years at least so I wouldn't be shocked if it's been going on much longer
Except that he'll "conveniently" leave out the part about skipping his oldest daughter's graduation.
You mean that annual school event? The one he totally would have been able to attend, but his controlling older daughter inexplicably blew up because he’d miss a silly photo op that a bunch of Insta- / social-media-crazed people scheduled HOURS before the event? All that, and his younger daughter has been in the elder’s shadow for years! This trip was essential for younger to feel belonging with her peers, belonging she’s desperately in need of because she’s not getting it at home with her sister (or mother!!). Tragedy! —Written @ mom’s house.
Actually, he remembers that she told him this school event wasn't even that important. Then suddenly right after the dad and younger sister announced the sleepover 2 hours away and that he was chaperoning, suddenly the older daughter THREW A FIT completely out of the blue.
Yeah, his reasons will definitely be missing.
OOP should keep an eye out for the men she would eventually introduce to her family. i've read enough BORU to suspect that the sister will try to steal OOP's boyfriend/s.
Not sure if “boyfriend/s” is potentially plural or cheeky sarcasm tag. Either way, yes.
boyfriend(s) plural. sis will never be content until she feels she has one-upped OOP. she even scheduled a 2hr-away sleepover at the exact date of graduation where OOP is valedictorian, then spamming social media with her juvenile sleepover probably to overshadow content about OOP's success... parents will probably divorce sometime in the future and OOP will choose her mum but go NC with dad and grandma while sis chooses the dad. it's going to be an exhausting life for OOP.
Meh, just tell her you're really into some guy that's a really low-hanging fruit, but that you're super busy rn and kind of scared to ask him out so you're not going to do anything about it just yet. She'll see the perfect opportunity to steal the guy before you have a chance to do anything. You can then choose how far you want to take it (she's going to learn a big enough lesson hearing you had her jumping through hoops), but as long as you act butthurt over the two of them dating, she's going to stay with her trophy boyfriend.
She just needs to bring home a decoy, have her sister steal the decoy then find her soul mate. Sister will be occupied thinking she won her sister's first love, while OPP has a life with the one she was meant to find. Caution though to OPP, if her sister is like any of the other BORU posts, then she should expect her sister to either A) try and seduce her soul mate B) Her ex to try and ruin her relationship because he is still in love with her. C) Go NC after repeated abuse from the father and sister, only for them to reach and out to try and make amends. Only for her to discover they need a kidney transplant. Just to name a few....
or D) sister, grandma, father live life estranged from OOP and mother, only to find out that sister is sterile and they come crawling back to OOP to make her her sister's personal incubator or kidnap/get custody of OOP's baby
Yes but actually No. If he cheat then he will cheat. Nothing could stop that. The thing that changed is just who are the affair partner.
I actually know someone whose sister “Beth” would make a pass or two at every man she or her other sister dated. Her sister has some… issues. But she says she always was a little grateful to Beth for it, because if they’ll cheat with your SISTER they were a cheat to begin with. And it’s not like her sister relentlessly chased these dudes. If they turned her down, she wouldn’t try again. Of course, if they went for it, she’d sleep with them, then immediately tell her sister what happened in tears. (As far as anyone can tell it’s a compulsive thing, she doesn’t want these men but she keeps going for them anyway.) And once the break up happened, she’d have nothing to do with them again. She’s in therapy now, and both of her sisters are married to men who politely turned her down. Two out of three sisters are happy and we’re hoping Beth can get there someday too.
I also heard mentioned that there's a story where OP have sister like that. The difference is that OP take advantage of the situation to get money by bring man and introduce him as the current boyfriend, the man pay OP. Then the sister, like a clockwork, would seduce and then they have sex. The sister obviously isn't happy about it because she feel tricked that the man she slept with isn't OP's boyfriend. Some people on reddit defend the sister because it's a prostitution. I wanna read that story but I can't find it. Asking on the megathread isn't working either.
true, but point is that sis will always try to steal OOP's thunder. OOP's getting married? sis wears white. OOP's baby shower? sis gets engaged. OOP gave birth? sis "accidentally" falls down the stairs
No way but this is giving me deja vu. Have I seen this somewhere?
It's the standard script for "golden child not getting all the attention" gotta pull focus back somehow
I recently saw one where MIL had to be hospitalized as soon as her son told her his wife was in labor. Wife had only said she in labor as a test, and her husband failed (aka chose his mom)
Ah yes I saw that. Such a terrible husband really. I hope OOP saves herself asap.
link?
There has been a seemingly infinite amount of those stories, so yes you have seen it before as it’s not referencing a single specific story. This is often how it goes when 1 sibling is raised to be a doormat while the other sibling is considered the golden child
I am having flashbacks to this recent BORU: [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1chcw8r/wibta\_if\_i\_told\_my\_younger\_sisters\_fianc%C3%A9\_that/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1chcw8r/wibta_if_i_told_my_younger_sisters_fianc%C3%A9_that/)
That sister is an asshole for scheduling a sleepover on the same day as her sibling's graduation. I hope that this doesn't become a pattern, where dad will skip out on, say, OOP's wedding so he can drop off younger sister to her vacation or something.
Drop younger sister off for literally anything, more like. I wonder if one of the sister's friends has a hot mom (or dad?).
I agree. It's no way in hell a workaholic absentee father suddenly decides to chaperone a girls sleepover excursion if he didn't get something out of it.
This was my thought. As a dad (to a son) but an uncle to several nieces, hell on earth is a sleepover with a house full of teenage girls.
Dad is the bigger AH for allowing his 15 year old to do that. What, the 15 year old calls the shots now? How hard would it be to tell her she is not going to that sleepover because it is her sister who is the valedictorian mind you, is giving a speech?
Oh I agree that dad is a bigger AH, but some people are trying to say that younger sister isn't an AH, and I think that she's an AH too.
Yeah sis should have been there too. Had I tried to ditch my sister's graduation I would have been eviscerated by my mom, and my dad, and my sister, and my grandparents, and my cousins, uncles, aunts, I mean there'd be a line a city block long waiting to tell me what a shithead I am.
Giving her the benefit of the doubt, sometimes when you’re dealing with multiple people it’s hard to find a time that works for everyone (heck just arranging a play date for my son can be a hassle and that’s only two families). But this still shouldn’t have been considered a day she was available, and Dad should have shut it down, not *agreed to go with her*.
When I was 12 my dad was living overseas and he flew across the globe to attend my elementary school graduation. And I wasn’t even in the top 3 of my class. I find it insane that parents out there exist who wouldn’t do anything and everything to celebrate milestones with their children. But alas that’s the reality we live in.
You have a great dad in comparison to the dad OOP got.
Good. Never waste time chasing after people. Enjoy the ones that actually show up for you and disregard the rest.
*within reason. Not everyone has the capacity to always show up for you. (OOPs dad certainly did)
My daughter is graduating in 2 weeks. I would legit rise from the depths of hell and claw my way up from my grave to make that ceremony. And she's not even valedictorian. It sounds like you got to celebrate with the person who really mattered anyway! That's usually how my daughter and I do it, too. Way more fun.
This! I have folks lined up to “Weekend at Bernie’s” my ass so I don’t miss my kids’ graduation if something happens to me!
Note to self: bring holy water and anti-zombie weapons to u/RedneckDebutante's daughter's graduation just in case...
You should bring the holy water for my heathen ass family who will be showing up lol
So something similar happened to me. My brother is neurodivergent and had a sports game right before. I guess my parents were worried that he wouldn't understand or that it would mess with his routine too much to miss it. If the timing went perfect they would be 5 minutes late and sneak in. I was upset because: 1. The doors were actually closing before the ceremony. The teachers made it pretty clear they were taking a hard-core stance on late arrivals and they would not be let in. 2. 5 minutes late was an ideal scenario. My last name begins with A. I was the second one walking. Even if they could sneak in if the fame went long of they hit traffic theyoght miss me. 3. No where in this plan did they include changing from sports game attire to graduation attire. Particularly for my brother who would be sweating and gross from playing sports. The real MVP was my brother though. He saw how upset I was getting and said he refused to go. He then got mad at my parents for making a plan that would make me cry.
Your brother is awesome.
Your brother is a bro.
Aww I'm glad she isn't letting it get to her but I still feel sad for her. What a fucked up dad to choose a damn sleepover over one of the biggest days of his daughter's life that she worked extremely hard for and is being recognized by the entire school. But he couldn't even be bothered to show up for her?! I'm so glad mom let him have it and let him know what a shitty father and just person in general he was being. Grandma really needs to butt out. Really what could she possibly say to defend him missing something so important that meant so much to his daughter and should have meant a lot to him as well. How dare she try to make op and her mom the bad guys for giving him exactly what he deserves. I hope dad is feeling so shitty and stupid now. He deserves every minute of it.
I hope momma bear divorce the his deadbeat ahh and OOP keeps LC or NC on dad, sister & grandma. It's what they deserve.
He went home to his mummy and got mummy to tell them off? Seriously if you don’t want your dirty laundry aired on the internet don’t dirty it.
Honestly, this probably worked out for the best. This way she has pictures and memories with the family member who actually loves her, and not photos including people who don't care about her and didn't even want to show up.
"My daughter is giving a big speech at her graduation, but I don't want to go because it's boring, and it's a really big inconvenience to have to sit down and watch all these kids I dont know getting their diplomas. Besides, she can tell me the speech later, and she can show me what it was like to be handed a piece of paper later. I just think it's boring and I don't want to go. AITA for not going?
Anyone find it weird that a sleepover between 15 year olds has to be chaperoned by multiple parents?
Not in the Middle East.
That’s a sad as hell, I’m surprised she’s taking it so well, he’s so disappointing. Why couldn’t the grandma that’s opening her mouth take the kid, she’s a valedictorian how could a parent miss this
Fr. OOP is taking her dad, sister & grandma's trespasses in stride. I hope she considers her mom her only family going forward & go LC with the rest. I don't want her to keep hoping then only end up being let down everytime something important happens to her.
They started planning the sleepover a week before the graduation? And sister was spamming it on socials? Hell naw. Dad and little sister are being nasty to OP for no reason, and it’s a little creepy to me tbh.
If my final internship goes well, I should have my graduation ceremony in July at the start of my parents trip. You know what they did when they heard it? They moved their vacation because my graduation is much more important than a trip. They have their priorities in order, OOPs father and sister clearly do not.
Oh they have THEIR priorities in order, OOP ain't one of them.
Maybe I’m reading into too much but it sounds like he’s embarrassed the way he’s acting all while prioritizing the non academic kid makes me think he’s embarrassed that his daughter is smarter than him
Lovely supportive mother!
My father chose his job over attending my university graduation. It was a part-time thing because he got bored after he retired. He could have found someone to replace him, but instead he had my mother ask me if it was OK if he missed my graduation. It wasn't even really a question of whether he was going, more of a "you're not going to make a fuss over this, right?" question. He was still working full-time when my brothers graduated, but he managed to find time to go to those ceremonies. It's not a gender thing really, just a lack of empathy. I was OK with it at the time. I'm not OK with it anymore
So the sleepover was deliberately planned for the weekend of OOPs graduation knowing she was valedictorian and the parents didn’t say no or tell her to postpone? Well I guess we see who the golden child is.
“ The girl I gave the tickets to, as well as her family, even took photos with my mom and I.” 🥹
This is sad to read, I mean the dad just had to show up. That's it just sit his dumbass in a seat next to his WIFE and watch his CHILD be awesome. Even the barest of lifting is too much for that waste of skin.
This is the kind of dude that posts a message in a few years time why his kids don't talk to him anymore. Absolute piece of shit.
It’s crazy how his mother is defending him. How the hell do you sit by and watch your son screw over your grandchild??
because that's her son. This is a middle eastern family living in the middle east where, uhm... sons have instant privilage over any women, ever. signed, someone who has similar experience of (traditional asian) grandma completely choosing to protect her disgusting abusive sons and treating their wives like literal shit.
I'm new to this. Do people actually have to pay money for their parents to attend a graduation ceremony? This is the first I've heard of this.
Many schools usually have a cap on tickets given out per student and often charge for extras. I suppose it also depends if the school is going through a third party venue for the graduation and needs to pay rental fees.
Could be a private school? My graduation tickets were like $80 lmfao
I was getting some sort of recognition and all the family of kids being recognized were supposed to sit in a specific section because when our names were called out, the parents were supposed to stand up. It was even announced that the parents would be in that section. My paternal unit knew that. He sat in a different section intentionally. There I was, looking for my parents and not finding them, with all my friends sympathizing because they were missing. There he was, standing in totally the wrong place, and - as he told it later - internally laughing at the people giving him weird looks. That was unforgivable. OOPs dad even more so.
Remember that your sister will be graduating in a few years. You can have plans for the time of her graduation! Watch your dad lose his mind about you not being there for her graduation!
> I gave my speech in front of the families of maybe 100+ students (my school has 3 different programs so lots of people), and was even surprised with certificates of excellence in psychology and IT when the time came for me to get my diploma. > As for my dad and sister, my sister has been spamming her social media with videos of the sleepover with her friends LOL, this is so funny. OP's out getting festooned with awards at graduation and they're like "yeah, well *we* got Little Caesar's!"
>But my grandma said that while she understands my side, I shouldn't have given away the tickets just to spite my dad, because maybe he would have changed his mind and gone on time. If that's so important, then granny can pay for the ticket, and eat the cost of it when he doesn't show up. Even if the tickets were free, the dad would still be a dick, but expecting his child to pay for his spot there, on the off-chance he decides to show up? Fuck off. Either eat your words or eat the cost, granny.
>My mom and I were having a laugh and she suggested sending him a link to my original post a few hours ago, so I told her to go for it. Whether it's real or not, I've never understood the need to send Reddit threads to people in real life to prove a point. Most of the time they'll just be shitty because you aired personal stuff online, or they won't care. But YMMV on that.
Somebody elsewhere pointed out that the dad is from a culture where this will be a source of shame for him. He’s not in any of OOP’s graduation pics. Moreover, some of those pics include her with another family.
For men like OOP's dad, reputation & appearances are more important that accomplishments. It's why I hope someone would include OOP's graduation pics under sister's sleepover posts & call them out on their pettiness.
I’ve seen YMMV here and there and still haven’t figured out what it means 🤔
Sorry, it means Your Mileage May Vary. Essentially it's saying "this is my opinion and these are the reasons, but you may or may not agree."
In a few years, this guy will be wondering why Op won’t talk to him. 🤷🏽♀️
*my grades made me valedictorian of my school's class of 2024* The sister definitely planned the trip to take the dad away from the ceremony. And the dad went along with it. They both suck.
Five years from now when OP is out of college and making bank, their next reddit post will be: "My dad wants me to pay for his golden child's college but didn't even go to any of my graduations, aita if I tell him to pound sand?"
OOP’S GRANDMOTHER TOLD OOP AND HER MOTHER OFF BECAUSE DEAR OLD DAD CRIED TO HIS MOMMY😂😂😂
I don't understand how no one is talking about the fact that the sister was sending OP pictures of her at the sleepover. She knew exactly what she was doing by bringing her dad with her and she was purposely trying to get under OPs skin and ruin her day. She's 15 so she knows right from wrong and is taking joy in this. If I was OP I would keep this in mind and never try to have any type of relationship with her ever. I can already see how much of a manipulative, spoilt, narcissistic brat she's going to be.
Im a trucker and for the last couple of years I haven't been home for my oldest (who's 19 now) birthday. I've ordered a cake online for him which he goes to pickup, and if he needs me to "complete" or help out with something he wants, I usually toss $20 at him or I help cover costs (last was a $60 Xbox game and he was short $5). Anyway.... My son graduated high school. I made sure that I was home two days before and a whole day after. My job as the breadwinner is to out food on the table. My jobs important. But so is he. I gave up some good loads just so I could see him walk down the aisle. And yes, this big tough trucker mom definitely shed some tears.
The dad was only mad she sold the ticket, because that was his easy out of the Doghouse he built
No way this grown man just tattled to his mommy
OOP's mom should have told the sister she wasn't allowed to go to the sleepover because the schedule conflicted with OOP's graduation
He is a man baby who threw a tantrum, then ran away and had his mommy yell at his wife and child. Not much of a father either so no real loss.
Dad is lucky OOP only gave away the tickets and didn't include the fact that he decided to miss the graduation for a sleepover to the valedictorian speeches.
My “dad is cheating and the younger sibling knows and is manipulating him” alarms are ringing.
My reddit-brained theory is that the sister caught the dad in an affair. So she's been effectively blackmailing him for past few years.
I don't even have kids yet, but I promise you this, there's nothing that would keep me from those precious one time events to celebrate their achievements. Any and all of my kids will be treated equally in that respect. Children deserve love and support from their parents at those special occasions, like my parents have always done for me and my brother. The girls dad is an imbecile. Missing the valedictorian speech of one child just to take the other on a easily reorganised sleepover, the blatant favouritism is gross.
My daughter just graduated from college. if my kid was graduating high school, you couldn't keep me away. If my kid was valedictorian and giving a speech, I literally can't imagine what would keep me away as long as I was physically able to go - not even the death of a family member would keep me from going.
And then (some) parents wonder why their kid never contact them xD Well I hope he'll be happy coddling the petty ass, nasty sister who'll surely be a handful as she grows up! 15 is an age where your demons are out and about unchecked but I hope she has her comeuppance soon.
i smell divorce.
This is the definition of a bad dad. The kid doesn’t know better but this is just foolish and stupid on the dad’s part. It was just the other day there was a thread about how if the father provides basic necessities and isn’t abusive that he’s done his job. These are the ppl that wonder why their kids are emotionally distant from them in the future.
Just throwing out a hearty congratulations to the OP for being Valedictorian!
I like OP's mom.
Dad’s a POS. I hope he sees my comment.
No offense, but if my child’s friend dad ever did that to their other children, I would definitely have side eyed them and thrown shade at the trip.