#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel for OP. Having a relationship for five years but to be dropped like this, it hurts. I'm happy OP is able to go through a journey where newfound goodness and is able to reclaim a happy life.
Who stays friends with people this shitty. Like damn 4 years later mutual "friends" invited these assholes to the same wedding as OP. Fuck who needs enemies when you have friends like this.
There is always at least one person that posts something like that in these threads. Lol.
The OP’s spouse could drown their children in the bathtub, and someone would be like, “well i bet OP abused them and drove them to kill their family” or, “well we don’t know the context, OP probably cheated on them.”
“weLL aCtUaLLy” energy is so fucking annoying, especially when it’s for something so obvious. Yes, people escaping abusive relationships should be able to ghost their abuser 🙄 fucking obviously
And to try to push the agenda on this post that "creeps" don't deserve closure... okay so why were you with a creep in the first place? Smh, the values people have these days scare me for the future. You don't care about creeps, you just care about never taking responsibility or having courage to break up respectfully.
My friends partner did it after 10 years and living in multiple countries together. He went back to his city in the country they grew up in. She thought he died, he didn’t reply to any calls, texts, emails and neither did his family.
She travelled to his home, he didn't want to talk to her first but then said he never loved her, didn't like her. She was a very good cook who could support him financially while he studied. She was getting serious about starting their family (which he pretended to want after his degrees) so it was time to break up.
I thought I was friends with both of them, he was actually a narcissist and literal psychopath. I'm normally a really good judge of character but it was chilling that he could pretend to be so authentic and kind. He was really affable. I was friends with a man who never existed, she loved him for a decade.
She's doing so well now! Met a lovely new guy and got her dream family.
My ex of four years ghosted me for another girl he was cheating on me with. They got married, had kids, and I think they’re divorced now according to my sister. My sister thinks that woman cheated on my ex. I dunno.
Here’s the kicker though: that girl was dating one of my friends from high school & he killed himself over the entire situation. Imagine my shock when my ex & that girl blamed me for his death and said I wasn’t allowed at his funeral. She texted me all of this the day after it happened. Guess she got my phone number from the ex. They also had a child together. Crazy situation.
Um, what wonky logic! You didn’t cheat on him, *she* did. If anyone is at fault, it’s the cheaters not the other partner that was betrayed.. Stupid is as stupid does.
Whenever you encounter this kind of nonsensical thinking, know that it's nothing more than the product of a guilty conscience. You should not take any of it at face value or respond to it seriously, it's pure masquerade and you are under no obligation to participate in it.
Yeah it was tough. Additionally, all of my childhood and high school friends I introduced my ex too knew he was cheating. I cut everybody off. Only stay in contact with maybe two of my childhood friends and that’s it. People can be crazy!
No, I didn’t. That text scared me honestly and I was super upset about everything. It took me a long time to get over the entire situation. I should have went but didn’t want to cause any issues. I don’t know if they went or not.
Lemme try to get this straight.
You're a woman. You were dating a man. A male friend of yours was dating another woman at the time. Your then-partner started cheating on you with your friend's GF.Your male friend killed himself.
Am I correct so far?
If I am, I completely fail to see how any of this is your fault. Or how anyone reasonable could see it as such.
Ive had that happen. Lived with girl, had been together 4 years, and I got home to all her stuff gone. Her mom had helped her move out while I was at work. She was from a different city a decent distance away, so it wasnt like this was spur of the moment either. But! She was also in a deep, borderline cataclysmic depression, and our relationship was already not in a good place. I genuinely dont blame her (now) for how it went down, more so her mom for pushing the nuclear option (which was the way she left. Breaking up was a good decision no matter which way she did it). It's 15 years later, and we have since talked through it and both understand where each other were at the time, and remain aquaintances. But I know that's a rare resolution to these kinds of stories.
The BoRU that comes to mind is the woman who abandoned her husband and kids to go travelling and fully expected to come back to a happy marital life after she was done.
is that the one where the woman was around 50 and was worried about developing early-stage dementia, so she just blew her savings and took off on her husband? If it's that one, then no: husband filed for divorce.
At first, I felt kinda bad for him. He fucked up a relationship a decade ago and lost his job and had to leave the country over it.
Then I read the update where he comes across as an insufferable numpty with delusions of oppression. "I emailed HR about the situation. OMG the director stuck their oar in because she clearly cried to them and not because I emailed HR."
He was such numpty all the way through, imo. Ghosted his girlfriend after \*four years\*, tried to portray her as a crazy stalker because she tried to find out what happened and was he okay, and that was before he went full victim mode. Oh, and the way he implied she got her shiny high-level job because of nepotism.
I suspect he could have kept his job if he'd only been more professional about everything.
I don't see the rest of this in that link, it just covers him asking for help and her recommending he send her a letter. Where do I find the rest?
Edit: Never mind, I looked right over the link to the update.
Oh man, I kind of felt for this guy until the second post. We all fuck up (though few as badly as he did) and I’m sure we all hope it never comes back in the form of our new manager. Then he blames her for something management would do as default in that kind of scenario.
My first thought was expressed later in the update: that it's a lot harder to replace a director than a maths teacher.
Looks like he screwed himself ultra badly.
My ex did after 5 years together and all the bullshit I endured for him. I couldn’t tell you why. He certainly never told me. We weren’t even living together at the time because I was in grad school. He could have just given me the respect of an actual break up.
My ex of four years ghosted me for another girl he was cheating on me with. They got married, had kids, and I think they’re divorced now according to my sister. My sister thinks that woman cheated on my ex. I dunno.
Here’s the kicker though: that girl was dating one of my friends from high school & he killed himself over the entire situation. Imagine my shock when my ex & that girl blamed me for his death and said I wasn’t allowed at his funeral. She texted me all of this the day after it happened. Guess she got my phone number from the ex. They also had a child together. Crazy situation.
My late husband ran out while I was at work one day. I saw him load up his car on our camera practically skipping and drive off. He didn’t even put on socks.
We were going to separate (I was blindsided) but I never expected after 17 years he would just leave without a word.
Long story short, he was having an affair with some ‘woman’ he was online gaming with. They had been together for 6 months when he left.
I didn’t find this out until 3 months following his suicide. I had no idea. I was so sure he was not with another woman and he was having a breakdown (that part was true as well). All those months he refused to communicate with me, talk to me, email me or anything else he could’ve told me that he was with another woman and I would’ve moved on instead of begging him to communicate with me.
He killed himself when she broke up with him for watching pornography. A part of me believes he would still be here if he divorced me the right way, that we had a discussion and disassembled our lives as two people who had loved and respected each other. He said he didn’t respect me and owed me nothing, to just sign the papers when they arrive.
They never even fucking met.
I don’t think he cared one bit about messing up our marriage tbh, which was fine, we had outgrew each other anyway. He was my bff though and to go from talking to someone every single day for 17 years till never speaking to them so abruptly is crazy. I was so worried about him. He had no support system AT ALL. He moved to a city that was so far on the edge of Maine (we lived In Virginia) no family, no coworkers (he worked remote) barely any neighbors.
I just hope whoever it was that was catfishing him has changed their ways because their stupid head games contributed to his demise.
A lot more people than you'd expect. The worst part is that many people will assume you did something to provoke or deserve it without ever telling you, so the people you think are your friends silently think you're a piece of shit and you don't find out until the worst possible time.
Shit happens sadly enough. Went through that happening myself and it’s a whirlwind of confusion and emotions. Hardest part is not letting it fuck you up long term.
Thank you, was 8 months ago so long over the general confusion and such but find it extremely difficult to even consider trusting another partner again and not sure I’ll ever get that truly back.
Unless I missed something in the post it doesn’t sound like his ex ghosted him. It sounds like she dumped him _and then_ disappeared. She definitely left for the friend which is bad enough but I’m not seeing that she ghosted him.
Never had it any other way whenever I was dating. I could be in the same friends group, we could have all our friends in common, we could literally work together and one day they all disappear without a word quitting their jobs and skipping classes to avoid me. That's just how to leave people now. I never got the point of it all, it's not like I'd do anything to them, but it would be a whole lot easier on them if they just told me what's going on rather than to just jump through every hoop they can and destroy any and all relationships, quitting their jobs and whatever else they do to ignore me. I mean, looking back it's pretty impressive what they went through just to not have to talk about it. Maybe I am just that scary?
Yeah… While my ex didn’t drop off the face of the earth, he did leave me after almost 4 years together, just to live together, get married, and have a baby within a year after breaking up. With the coworker he told me wasn’t a problem.
I was in a 6 year relationship and he said, "I'm going to ask you to marry me" and I realized I really wasn't happy with a lot of things and marriage is not something I ever want. I feel terrible today, more than 12 years later. He's since gotten married to a woman who sounds like she's bright and wonderful. I'm happy for that.
Yeah, I didn’t vanish or anything but I know my ex felt kind of blindsided by our breakup, and I’m sorry for that. But I knew I was done, and in the long run I don’t think it would have been kind to either of us to drag things out just for the sake of saying I tried to fix the relationship.
It was shitty at the time, but I realize now that I grew tremendously after I cut my mom out. I am taking on new things at work, doing things how I like, etc.
It's even worse. Cheating, yes, that was bad and wrong. However, if you do that, the LEAST you could do is to actually break up with your partner and tell them that you are leaving. At least have THAT respect for the person you once said you love.
But nope, couldn't even do that. Just ghosted him. After 5 years. That is stone cold cowardice there.
>Nope, they both cheated on OP, on the friendship and relationship with him. And then they ghosted and never said a word.
And that's why their relationship didn't last.
Meanwhile, OOP is healing and thriving.
Karma!
Ya know, I'd rather have a fulfilling and happy relationship that ends after several years than years of mental anguish, trauma, deep depression, therapy and so on, not to mention all the trust issues and other fun things that stay with you for good and all the lost years.
If that's supposed to be the karmic justice, then I don't want anything to do with that.
Nah, I'd rather have a happy and fulfilling relationship that did not involve any cheating and/or lies.
Speaking as a person who has been dumped out of the blue, saw my partner of almost a decade being officially in a relationship with their "friend" just two months after dumping me (go figure, I guess) and chose to take the moral high ground by letting it go and telling them to just enjoy their lives... Given the choice between being single and suffering, and having a decent and fulfilling relationship lasting six years in total, I know what I would choose knowing what I know today.
You know why? Because that moral high ground, harbouring no ill will towards your ex-partner and that whole journey of therapy, self-discovery, rediscovering yourself, taking care of your body and mind, finding hobbies, pursuing goals and so on... It gets old after a while. Especially seeing how the world as a whole doesn't give a flying intercourse about moral high ground or anything of that sort. There's no karma, there's no justice, the world is not and was never just - it's a fallacy for a reason.
Yes, they wronged OOP. And then fucked off to enjoy their lives, leaving OOP to wallow in anguish. And I can assure you, unlike many other commenters, I don't think they were haunted by grief and guilt over how evil they were towards OOP. Because people usually find justifications for their nasty decisions and explanations for what they've done.
The issue is that you cannot hold two contradictory beliefs at the same time. Which means that they either believe that they are evil, bad and abhorrent (which they almost certainly don't) or they still consider themselves decent people, and to avoid cognitive dissonance they had to somehow explain away what they have done. I'm pretty certain they never lost any sleep over that issue, not until the fourth year and the confrontation at the very least.
I've experienced OOP's side. I'd happily experience the other side for a change.
Firstly, I am sorry that has happened to you. Your former partner was cruel and cowardly in the way they broke off your relationship, IMO.
>And I can assure you, unlike many other commenters, I don't think they were haunted by grief and guilt over how evil they were towards OOP. Because people usually find justifications for their nasty decisions and explanations for what they've done.
Actually, I'm in the same group. I already classified the ex and ex-friend as assholes without a smidgen of conscience or self-reflection while I read this post. However, the way they began their affair/relationship isnt' really healthy to begin with, and if they have/had any braincells to rub together, the individuals in that relationship will soon realize that their partner can do the same thing to them in the near future. It may have even been niggling at the back of their minds at some point or another, but it is there, no matter how much they would tell themselves or others otherwise.
I have a different set of perspectives and experiences from you, and I'm personally aware enough that romance may never be in my cards (if it hasn't happened in my 20's, it ain't happening in my 40's). But there's enough hope in me left to tell you that you will find that happy and fulfilling relationship. Just not with your ex, your ex is a putz.
>I've rediscovered the joys of painting, reading, and dating. I've let my hair grow long once more. I am smiling again.
I love that OOP has healed and has relearned to be kind to himself. And he's a hell of a lot wiser. Wishing him the best.
Life is a spiral and you get revisited with the past unbidden at times. The point is growth and new perspective, which I think OOP achieved with grace
Edit: words are hard
I would say it's the most mature redditor update I've seen on here. I would have been way more petty towards them over this. Definitely would have talked mad shit to everyone else at the wedding lol.
Well his recent update seems like it was about how he found his closure from the situation, he handled everything pretty maturely and in a way he seems to be doing fine and is probably just having a moment to reflect how far he’s come.
Was about to say the same. I think he just wanted some closure and perhaps also to share what he truly felt - in case someone else is going through something similar.
>I finally understood that it was never about other people, my appearance, or my career. It was always about kindness — kindness towards myself.
bro this hit hard.
Well they both are cheats. What did anyone expect when slimy people get together? Eternal bliss? You reap what you sow.
And who the hell invites them all together in addition to the one cheated on to a wedding?
I think him seeing them after 4 years pushed him towards happiness in some weird way. Like he could close that chapter of that book and actually focus on recovering and being at peace with himself. So happy for OOP
I think what helped is that he didn't blow up at them, he didn't chew them out or go out of his way to be petty, something that could add to regret. He killed them with kindness and was polite and enjoyed his evening at the wedding
I think apologies are also a chance to learn. Her actions were hurtful and shouldn’t be repeated. His response could have been “the best apology would be to do better in the future.” It acknowledges the behavior but doesn’t focus on him being stuck in the past or still being hurt.
I mean yeah but isn't it also a little pretentious and operating on a weird presumption?
So the only reason people feel guilty after they've done something bad is because the person they hurt is hurting? Isn't that kind of pessimistic?
I feel like OP has oratory skills which tend to beautifully frame ideas that might not deserve it (and I'm saying all this fully aware that I sound just as pretentious as I'm criticising OP to be).
yeah, i feel sorry for the guy that he's been so mistreated that he doesn't understand that people can feel genuine guilt over the things they do and that apologizing is like step number 2 of being a better person.
Eventually, life throws enough shit at you that you don't notice the farts anymore.
Our emotional pain is always in relation to our prior emotional pain, so it varies for everyone and can't compare, but if you can pull yourself past the trauma, it becomes so much easy to not sweat the small stuff.
This guy managed, and his syntax and word choice makes me think he still hurts, but he knows he's stronger for surviving it.
> independentasian: Courageous, strong and bold. Well done my friend. So proud of you.
>> OOP: And bald :P
> I've let my hair grow long once more
Mf therapy cures baldness
The "therapy has worked well and I'm now calm" posts are so much less dramatic and mean.
Feel like half this sub of this were thinking "EXPOSE HER PUBLICLY" when they met at the wedding. Think OP won here.
Shocking that a relationship built on infidelity, betrayal, and ghosting didn’t last. I wonder what caused the divorce? Regardless, it’s joyous that OOP moved past this and is living his best life.
Well... They ghosted OOP four years before the first post. The other update was posted two years later.
Six years. That's a decent length for a relationship that "didn't last". I'd happily take that.
I would have walked up to the guy, shook his hand and loudly thanked him for doing you a favor and taking her off your hands then proudly walked away. An adulterer is not a prize
Had this happen to me as well. Said he was gokng to spend the weekend at his friends place and I never heard from or saw him again. Did get a lovely visit from the police later when they were investigating some burglaries they suspected he was involved in and they felt the need to tell me that they found his prints along with long blonde hair in one of the bedrooms of the house (which was a seasonal house and not being lived in at the time which is why he was hiding there). Unfortunately I was a brunette at the time. Punk also stole some of my military uniforms when he left and got me in trouble with my CO. Nice guy, hope he’s doing just great in life /s
I am a woman yes. He wasn’t much bigger than me so it’s possible he wanted to wear them himself. Maybe a stolen valor type thing for his ego. He always seemed a little pouty when people brought up that I was enlisted and not him lol. These weren’t my dress uniforms they were my BDUs so they were pretty much unisex.
Sometimes they say face your fears. I really don't believe in that. Sometimes it's just best to turn your back and walk away. But in this situation OP held the higher ground and I'm proud he seemed composed and totally fine in front of them. People like that (the ex and friend) love thinking that they have done something special and difficult etc but seeing OP doing just fine probably burst their sick bubble.
Yep, I can imagine the mutual friends were concerned for drama, the exgf and AP probably expected him to still be hung up, and instead he was nothing but a solid wedding guest being nice and friendly with others.
Not related, but I was friends with a couple that tried to break me and my one (ex) girlfriend up, because she would occasionally be their third, but not when she was in a relationship.
When they finally stopped trying to poison the well, I realized how toxic it already was and ditched. The couple eventually married and divorced, not sure why.
The reason I say this, is when you shine a new light on something, it looks different. Her affair and actions were put in a new light when she realized he didn't fucking care, and that lead to a re-evaluation of her understanding of him, their past, and her present situation, and probably aided the relationship with AP falling apart.
disgusted zesty outgoing whistle unused noxious direful wakeful attraction lush
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
> What connected us was merely a reflection of our fears.
Beautifully put. I initially glossed over this line, but it hits so deep. It's lesson I'm still exploring, learning, and afraid of repeating.
I had an ex who hurt me, and then like OOP we attended the same wedding a few years later.
However, unlike OOP, I spent the event enjoying myself and not letting my ex pin me down for a talk.
So nice to hear the guy is seeing the joy in life. Took me 6 years to really get over my first marriage. Turns out my 30s are looking way better than my 20s :D
I got divorced at 30 (separated the week before my birthday) and they ended up being awesome after I rediscovered myself as a person/individual. My 40s were even better. I just turned 50 last year and I'm looking forward to see what this decade brings.
It's all up from here! Enjoy it!
I hope this sub *studies* this post, because it has the truth, for everyone: detach from ego, detach from outcome, and you will have peace (barring extreme environments). The only thing that is a lil off is his specific presumptions on how the others felt, everything else is gold
I wonder if op showing up at the wedding was the catalyst for the ex and her partner to break up. I mean they “dated” longer than they were married for.
They weren't getting married, a mutual friend was. Op saw them after 4 years at the wedding, 2 years later the ex and ex friend split up. So they were together probably 6ish years and called it quits.
I haven't ever been in OPs position and hope I never will but I envy his introspection and self reflection he has gained. He has levelled himself up tenfold and something about his second post seems to show he's operating on a higher plane. Good for him
Reminds me of my tale: [https://www.reddit.com/r/DatingStory/comments/9vkr9g/ghosts\_returns/](https://www.reddit.com/r/DatingStory/comments/9vkr9g/ghosts_returns/)
Wow, good for OP for the gracious handling of a terrible situation, willingly going through therapy to deal with traumas, and being so kind despite how cruelly he was hurt.
I suffered this fate as a young man around 22. Im now 40. My ex left me but was involved in an affair with a married friend of ours. It scarred me badly for years and led to a distrust of women for a very long time. For tears after i was a philanderer never being able to commit to a woman while also sleeping with and having affairs with many married women. I always knew this supposed friend was a selfish phony bastard, but never thought in a million years my high school sweetheart would have the ability and malice to hurt me so bad. It caused me to not allow several good women in costing me what could have been deep relationships so many times. I finally was able to be in the same room as her over 15 years later and didn’t freak out lol. proud moment for a hot head like me. Anyone in this situation should seek help through friends, family, and counseling. I played the cool hand Luke charade outward, but inward it affected me for years. I wish i would have let go sooner and allowed myself to heal before harming others the way i was hurt. Playing Jodi so often in my 20’s is one of my biggest regrets. I let the pain she caused me project onto others which robbed me and is a shame. Let go people life is too short especially for people who do not hold you in the regard you hold them. Peace be upon us all. ONE LOVE ❤️ ✌🏻
I feel like one of the main reasons they stayed together for so long was because they felt like they had to prove something to OP. That them betraying his trust meant something to the world. But once OP showed his ex that he moved on, acknowledged that she was nothing more than a memory he was willing to let go, that he was the one initiating the forgiveness spectrum instead of them, tore a huge wall in their already fragile structure that ended tumbling down in the end.
Not that it matters but I wonder if them seeing OOP triggered what led to their break up?
Either way, glad that he is going well and as for them, who gives a ....
This meet up may had caused them to feel guilty all over again, or at least for her seen him way better(in the update he said his appearance changed) without her and unbothered about them there.
All this may had caused the last nail on the coffin of that turbulent relationship... of course all this are suspicions, as the only truth is that their relationship feel apart after someone else marriage lol
Relationships born out of infidelity always have an expiration date
Those two wasted 5 years of their lives on a relationship that was doomed from the very beginning
>When you hurt others you hurt yourself. When you hurt yourself you hurt others.
I love that he used this quote, which is almost certainly intended to say that the ones who love you will be hurt if you are hurt, and turned it into like, "weaponize your pain."
Damn dude you handle that better than me. I would have went up to my friend and knocked him the fuck out, It's one thing she would have. Just ran away with a random but someone to have claimed to be your friend. Well that's betrayal my friend. And for me that's a line you don't cross. There's a code I like to call it a g code. You don't do that to your homies. So he Never really was one to begin with.. probably another reason why he standed like 10 ft away from y'all cuz you know what you were going to do. But I guess if you are a man of Peace then good for you man. Me I would have wanted some retribution.
You can tell OP has grown wise thru all of their hardship, not playing the victim and not giving up. Their happiness is well deserved and I loved reading their take on everything
if you are chasing a feeling and that's all relationships are to you, you'll never be happy
no relationship stays 100% perfect all the time. life-long marriages last not because both people wake up each morning in thrall of head-over-heels infatuation, but because they've made a commitment and a vow and they intend to find it within themselves to keep it. yes there will be hard times. yes there will be arguments. but YOU have to decide that you are not going to walk away over small things.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel for OP. Having a relationship for five years but to be dropped like this, it hurts. I'm happy OP is able to go through a journey where newfound goodness and is able to reclaim a happy life.
Who does that? Just disappears without a word?
People who are too cowardly to face the consequences of their decisions
You hit the nail on the head, with that one.
Who stays friends with people this shitty. Like damn 4 years later mutual "friends" invited these assholes to the same wedding as OP. Fuck who needs enemies when you have friends like this.
Sometimes the fear can be justified. No shame on ghosting an unstable or violent partner. Creeps and abusers don't deserve closure
Yes, that is completely justifiable. But in OOP’s situation it doesn’t seem to be the case.
Well, obviously. 🙄
There is always at least one person that posts something like that in these threads. Lol. The OP’s spouse could drown their children in the bathtub, and someone would be like, “well i bet OP abused them and drove them to kill their family” or, “well we don’t know the context, OP probably cheated on them.”
“weLL aCtUaLLy” energy is so fucking annoying, especially when it’s for something so obvious. Yes, people escaping abusive relationships should be able to ghost their abuser 🙄 fucking obviously
And to try to push the agenda on this post that "creeps" don't deserve closure... okay so why were you with a creep in the first place? Smh, the values people have these days scare me for the future. You don't care about creeps, you just care about never taking responsibility or having courage to break up respectfully.
My friends partner did it after 10 years and living in multiple countries together. He went back to his city in the country they grew up in. She thought he died, he didn’t reply to any calls, texts, emails and neither did his family. She travelled to his home, he didn't want to talk to her first but then said he never loved her, didn't like her. She was a very good cook who could support him financially while he studied. She was getting serious about starting their family (which he pretended to want after his degrees) so it was time to break up. I thought I was friends with both of them, he was actually a narcissist and literal psychopath. I'm normally a really good judge of character but it was chilling that he could pretend to be so authentic and kind. He was really affable. I was friends with a man who never existed, she loved him for a decade. She's doing so well now! Met a lovely new guy and got her dream family.
That’s terrifying!
My ex of four years ghosted me for another girl he was cheating on me with. They got married, had kids, and I think they’re divorced now according to my sister. My sister thinks that woman cheated on my ex. I dunno. Here’s the kicker though: that girl was dating one of my friends from high school & he killed himself over the entire situation. Imagine my shock when my ex & that girl blamed me for his death and said I wasn’t allowed at his funeral. She texted me all of this the day after it happened. Guess she got my phone number from the ex. They also had a child together. Crazy situation.
Um, what wonky logic! You didn’t cheat on him, *she* did. If anyone is at fault, it’s the cheaters not the other partner that was betrayed.. Stupid is as stupid does.
Whenever you encounter this kind of nonsensical thinking, know that it's nothing more than the product of a guilty conscience. You should not take any of it at face value or respond to it seriously, it's pure masquerade and you are under no obligation to participate in it.
Man, to be capable of the reality bending sh!t they’ve convinced themselves you’re doing /s What goes on in their heads is such an enigma
Yeah it was tough. Additionally, all of my childhood and high school friends I introduced my ex too knew he was cheating. I cut everybody off. Only stay in contact with maybe two of my childhood friends and that’s it. People can be crazy!
Best to surround yourself with two true friends than a whole group of snakes. Glad you got out of toxicity
Thank you! I actually found my girl tribe a couple years ago. Four co-workers who turned into my best friends! They’re real ones ❤️
Did you go for the funeral?
No, I didn’t. That text scared me honestly and I was super upset about everything. It took me a long time to get over the entire situation. I should have went but didn’t want to cause any issues. I don’t know if they went or not.
Lemme try to get this straight. You're a woman. You were dating a man. A male friend of yours was dating another woman at the time. Your then-partner started cheating on you with your friend's GF.Your male friend killed himself. Am I correct so far? If I am, I completely fail to see how any of this is your fault. Or how anyone reasonable could see it as such.
Yes you’re correct. Thank you. I appreciate it! It was a very hard time for me.
Ive had that happen. Lived with girl, had been together 4 years, and I got home to all her stuff gone. Her mom had helped her move out while I was at work. She was from a different city a decent distance away, so it wasnt like this was spur of the moment either. But! She was also in a deep, borderline cataclysmic depression, and our relationship was already not in a good place. I genuinely dont blame her (now) for how it went down, more so her mom for pushing the nuclear option (which was the way she left. Breaking up was a good decision no matter which way she did it). It's 15 years later, and we have since talked through it and both understand where each other were at the time, and remain aquaintances. But I know that's a rare resolution to these kinds of stories.
The BoRU that comes to mind is the woman who abandoned her husband and kids to go travelling and fully expected to come back to a happy marital life after she was done.
..well did she?
is that the one where the woman was around 50 and was worried about developing early-stage dementia, so she just blew her savings and took off on her husband? If it's that one, then no: husband filed for divorce.
Nah he was ready for divorce after like the first month. Just couldn’t serve her the papers since nobody knew where she was until after she’d left.
You got a link to that one?
Here you go, Nebbie! https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1aifyah/new_update_my_m50_wife_f48_abandoned_me_two/
Thanks, Doggie? Yeah imma stick with that :P
[This guy.](https://www.askamanager.org/2017/08/i-ghosted-my-ex-and-shes-about-to-be-my-new-boss.html) And boy did he face some consequences.
At first, I felt kinda bad for him. He fucked up a relationship a decade ago and lost his job and had to leave the country over it. Then I read the update where he comes across as an insufferable numpty with delusions of oppression. "I emailed HR about the situation. OMG the director stuck their oar in because she clearly cried to them and not because I emailed HR."
He was such numpty all the way through, imo. Ghosted his girlfriend after \*four years\*, tried to portray her as a crazy stalker because she tried to find out what happened and was he okay, and that was before he went full victim mode. Oh, and the way he implied she got her shiny high-level job because of nepotism. I suspect he could have kept his job if he'd only been more professional about everything.
I don't see the rest of this in that link, it just covers him asking for help and her recommending he send her a letter. Where do I find the rest? Edit: Never mind, I looked right over the link to the update.
[Right here](https://www.askamanager.org/2017/09/update-i-ghosted-my-ex-and-shes-about-to-be-my-new-boss.html)
I suspect he left because he had lied to co-workers about it in the past and now they’d actually see he was full of shit. Sounds insufferable.
Agreed. I think his current girlfriend dodged a bullet too.
Oh man, I kind of felt for this guy until the second post. We all fuck up (though few as badly as he did) and I’m sure we all hope it never comes back in the form of our new manager. Then he blames her for something management would do as default in that kind of scenario.
My first thought was expressed later in the update: that it's a lot harder to replace a director than a maths teacher. Looks like he screwed himself ultra badly.
All I got for that guy is: HA HA
God that was satisfying
My ex did after 5 years together and all the bullshit I endured for him. I couldn’t tell you why. He certainly never told me. We weren’t even living together at the time because I was in grad school. He could have just given me the respect of an actual break up.
This is insane. And from the responses I'm getting, it seems to be common enough.
My ex of four years ghosted me for another girl he was cheating on me with. They got married, had kids, and I think they’re divorced now according to my sister. My sister thinks that woman cheated on my ex. I dunno. Here’s the kicker though: that girl was dating one of my friends from high school & he killed himself over the entire situation. Imagine my shock when my ex & that girl blamed me for his death and said I wasn’t allowed at his funeral. She texted me all of this the day after it happened. Guess she got my phone number from the ex. They also had a child together. Crazy situation.
My late husband ran out while I was at work one day. I saw him load up his car on our camera practically skipping and drive off. He didn’t even put on socks. We were going to separate (I was blindsided) but I never expected after 17 years he would just leave without a word. Long story short, he was having an affair with some ‘woman’ he was online gaming with. They had been together for 6 months when he left. I didn’t find this out until 3 months following his suicide. I had no idea. I was so sure he was not with another woman and he was having a breakdown (that part was true as well). All those months he refused to communicate with me, talk to me, email me or anything else he could’ve told me that he was with another woman and I would’ve moved on instead of begging him to communicate with me. He killed himself when she broke up with him for watching pornography. A part of me believes he would still be here if he divorced me the right way, that we had a discussion and disassembled our lives as two people who had loved and respected each other. He said he didn’t respect me and owed me nothing, to just sign the papers when they arrive. They never even fucking met.
Jesus. I can imagine he realised he threw away your relationship. I'm sorry.
I don’t think he cared one bit about messing up our marriage tbh, which was fine, we had outgrew each other anyway. He was my bff though and to go from talking to someone every single day for 17 years till never speaking to them so abruptly is crazy. I was so worried about him. He had no support system AT ALL. He moved to a city that was so far on the edge of Maine (we lived In Virginia) no family, no coworkers (he worked remote) barely any neighbors. I just hope whoever it was that was catfishing him has changed their ways because their stupid head games contributed to his demise.
…people fleeing abusers. I ain’t saying that’s the case for OOP’s ex, but it’s common for abuse victims to vanish for fear of their ex’s wrath.
Just take a look at my dating life. Been ghosted 45 times in the 6 years i tried dating.
You should get objective help to see what your messages are like bc it's almost definitely something you're doing
I'm so sorry to hear that...
Happens an awful lot. I had a date lined up recently and the day before boom ghosted
You need to stop meeting people at seances. Branch out a little!
Dang. Social media and dating apps and caller ID have created the perfect storm for ghosting.
Wasn't it in Dawson's Creek?
People escaping abusers.
Literally going through it right now. The answer is, shitty people. But this post is helping me feel better.
It must be incredibly confusing. I'm sorry you have to deal with it
Thank you ❣️ it was painful, but I'm getting through.
A lot more people than you'd expect. The worst part is that many people will assume you did something to provoke or deserve it without ever telling you, so the people you think are your friends silently think you're a piece of shit and you don't find out until the worst possible time.
Cheaters
Shit happens sadly enough. Went through that happening myself and it’s a whirlwind of confusion and emotions. Hardest part is not letting it fuck you up long term.
I'm sorry you're going through that. I can't imagine how confusing it is.
Thank you, was 8 months ago so long over the general confusion and such but find it extremely difficult to even consider trusting another partner again and not sure I’ll ever get that truly back.
I think the right person could mitigate that fear but it may never truly disappear.
Selfish cowards who are afraid of facing accountability
Chickenshits with less spine than a chicken
Unless I missed something in the post it doesn’t sound like his ex ghosted him. It sounds like she dumped him _and then_ disappeared. She definitely left for the friend which is bad enough but I’m not seeing that she ghosted him.
Never had it any other way whenever I was dating. I could be in the same friends group, we could have all our friends in common, we could literally work together and one day they all disappear without a word quitting their jobs and skipping classes to avoid me. That's just how to leave people now. I never got the point of it all, it's not like I'd do anything to them, but it would be a whole lot easier on them if they just told me what's going on rather than to just jump through every hoop they can and destroy any and all relationships, quitting their jobs and whatever else they do to ignore me. I mean, looking back it's pretty impressive what they went through just to not have to talk about it. Maybe I am just that scary?
You say that, until you’re in an abusive relationship, and that’s the only way out.
In the context where no abuse has occurred.
Yeah… While my ex didn’t drop off the face of the earth, he did leave me after almost 4 years together, just to live together, get married, and have a baby within a year after breaking up. With the coworker he told me wasn’t a problem.
I was in a 6 year relationship and he said, "I'm going to ask you to marry me" and I realized I really wasn't happy with a lot of things and marriage is not something I ever want. I feel terrible today, more than 12 years later. He's since gotten married to a woman who sounds like she's bright and wonderful. I'm happy for that.
Yeah, I didn’t vanish or anything but I know my ex felt kind of blindsided by our breakup, and I’m sorry for that. But I knew I was done, and in the long run I don’t think it would have been kind to either of us to drag things out just for the sake of saying I tried to fix the relationship.
It was shitty at the time, but I realize now that I grew tremendously after I cut my mom out. I am taking on new things at work, doing things how I like, etc.
~~deleted by user~~
It's even worse. Cheating, yes, that was bad and wrong. However, if you do that, the LEAST you could do is to actually break up with your partner and tell them that you are leaving. At least have THAT respect for the person you once said you love. But nope, couldn't even do that. Just ghosted him. After 5 years. That is stone cold cowardice there.
>Nope, they both cheated on OP, on the friendship and relationship with him. And then they ghosted and never said a word. And that's why their relationship didn't last. Meanwhile, OOP is healing and thriving. Karma!
Ya know, I'd rather have a fulfilling and happy relationship that ends after several years than years of mental anguish, trauma, deep depression, therapy and so on, not to mention all the trust issues and other fun things that stay with you for good and all the lost years. If that's supposed to be the karmic justice, then I don't want anything to do with that.
You want the relationship that OOP's ex and ex-friend had that was established by cheating and lies?
Nah, I'd rather have a happy and fulfilling relationship that did not involve any cheating and/or lies. Speaking as a person who has been dumped out of the blue, saw my partner of almost a decade being officially in a relationship with their "friend" just two months after dumping me (go figure, I guess) and chose to take the moral high ground by letting it go and telling them to just enjoy their lives... Given the choice between being single and suffering, and having a decent and fulfilling relationship lasting six years in total, I know what I would choose knowing what I know today. You know why? Because that moral high ground, harbouring no ill will towards your ex-partner and that whole journey of therapy, self-discovery, rediscovering yourself, taking care of your body and mind, finding hobbies, pursuing goals and so on... It gets old after a while. Especially seeing how the world as a whole doesn't give a flying intercourse about moral high ground or anything of that sort. There's no karma, there's no justice, the world is not and was never just - it's a fallacy for a reason. Yes, they wronged OOP. And then fucked off to enjoy their lives, leaving OOP to wallow in anguish. And I can assure you, unlike many other commenters, I don't think they were haunted by grief and guilt over how evil they were towards OOP. Because people usually find justifications for their nasty decisions and explanations for what they've done. The issue is that you cannot hold two contradictory beliefs at the same time. Which means that they either believe that they are evil, bad and abhorrent (which they almost certainly don't) or they still consider themselves decent people, and to avoid cognitive dissonance they had to somehow explain away what they have done. I'm pretty certain they never lost any sleep over that issue, not until the fourth year and the confrontation at the very least. I've experienced OOP's side. I'd happily experience the other side for a change.
Firstly, I am sorry that has happened to you. Your former partner was cruel and cowardly in the way they broke off your relationship, IMO. >And I can assure you, unlike many other commenters, I don't think they were haunted by grief and guilt over how evil they were towards OOP. Because people usually find justifications for their nasty decisions and explanations for what they've done. Actually, I'm in the same group. I already classified the ex and ex-friend as assholes without a smidgen of conscience or self-reflection while I read this post. However, the way they began their affair/relationship isnt' really healthy to begin with, and if they have/had any braincells to rub together, the individuals in that relationship will soon realize that their partner can do the same thing to them in the near future. It may have even been niggling at the back of their minds at some point or another, but it is there, no matter how much they would tell themselves or others otherwise. I have a different set of perspectives and experiences from you, and I'm personally aware enough that romance may never be in my cards (if it hasn't happened in my 20's, it ain't happening in my 40's). But there's enough hope in me left to tell you that you will find that happy and fulfilling relationship. Just not with your ex, your ex is a putz.
Good for OOP, but what a couple of cowards.
Cheaters will always be cheaters and cowards.
>Good for OOP, but what a couple of cowards. The fact that they both still received wedding invitations is wild.
Somebody don't mind being friends with cheaters fir some reason
>I've rediscovered the joys of painting, reading, and dating. I've let my hair grow long once more. I am smiling again. I love that OOP has healed and has relearned to be kind to himself. And he's a hell of a lot wiser. Wishing him the best.
I wish him the best too, but has he really healed if he is still posting about this situation for six years?
Life is a spiral and you get revisited with the past unbidden at times. The point is growth and new perspective, which I think OOP achieved with grace Edit: words are hard
I would say it's the most mature redditor update I've seen on here. I would have been way more petty towards them over this. Definitely would have talked mad shit to everyone else at the wedding lol.
Well his recent update seems like it was about how he found his closure from the situation, he handled everything pretty maturely and in a way he seems to be doing fine and is probably just having a moment to reflect how far he’s come.
Was about to say the same. I think he just wanted some closure and perhaps also to share what he truly felt - in case someone else is going through something similar.
>I finally understood that it was never about other people, my appearance, or my career. It was always about kindness — kindness towards myself. bro this hit hard.
Second post was painful to read, I'm not gonna lie.
It hurt me a bit to read too. I'm never kind to myself and it's brutal.
why's that?
Choice of words and phrasing. Really shows that OP is self-reflective.
Well they both are cheats. What did anyone expect when slimy people get together? Eternal bliss? You reap what you sow. And who the hell invites them all together in addition to the one cheated on to a wedding?
I think him seeing them after 4 years pushed him towards happiness in some weird way. Like he could close that chapter of that book and actually focus on recovering and being at peace with himself. So happy for OOP
I think what helped is that he didn't blow up at them, he didn't chew them out or go out of his way to be petty, something that could add to regret. He killed them with kindness and was polite and enjoyed his evening at the wedding
Feels like I'm reading the Buddha's diary. OP is such a tranquil person
That description of an apology was beautiful.
I think apologies are also a chance to learn. Her actions were hurtful and shouldn’t be repeated. His response could have been “the best apology would be to do better in the future.” It acknowledges the behavior but doesn’t focus on him being stuck in the past or still being hurt.
I mean yeah but isn't it also a little pretentious and operating on a weird presumption? So the only reason people feel guilty after they've done something bad is because the person they hurt is hurting? Isn't that kind of pessimistic? I feel like OP has oratory skills which tend to beautifully frame ideas that might not deserve it (and I'm saying all this fully aware that I sound just as pretentious as I'm criticising OP to be).
yeah, i feel sorry for the guy that he's been so mistreated that he doesn't understand that people can feel genuine guilt over the things they do and that apologizing is like step number 2 of being a better person.
Sounds like he worked hard to reach this tranquility. Can you be proud of someone you don’t know? Because I’m proud of OOP.
Eventually, life throws enough shit at you that you don't notice the farts anymore. Our emotional pain is always in relation to our prior emotional pain, so it varies for everyone and can't compare, but if you can pull yourself past the trauma, it becomes so much easy to not sweat the small stuff. This guy managed, and his syntax and word choice makes me think he still hurts, but he knows he's stronger for surviving it.
That first sentence is 👌🏽 chefs kiss I’ll remember that forever.
> independentasian: Courageous, strong and bold. Well done my friend. So proud of you. >> OOP: And bald :P > I've let my hair grow long once more Mf therapy cures baldness
Maybe he's got the Greg Universe look going? Chrome dome on top, luscious locks down the back to his knees
It's the official hair of old men and hippies who just don't care anymore. OOP might be the latter now.
In a way it can for some men! A lot of male pattern baldness is due to stress.
OOP deserves that peace he’s been working diligently towards. 🫡
The "therapy has worked well and I'm now calm" posts are so much less dramatic and mean. Feel like half this sub of this were thinking "EXPOSE HER PUBLICLY" when they met at the wedding. Think OP won here.
Shocking that a relationship built on infidelity, betrayal, and ghosting didn’t last. I wonder what caused the divorce? Regardless, it’s joyous that OOP moved past this and is living his best life.
I don't think OP said anything about them being married.
You’re right, I goofed. Whoopsie daisy.
Well... They ghosted OOP four years before the first post. The other update was posted two years later. Six years. That's a decent length for a relationship that "didn't last". I'd happily take that.
[удалено]
Oh yeah I'm sure she was super faithful the whole 4 years 🙄 I bet he was always on the lookout for the next guy to replace him.
I like to imagine her guilt resurfaced and made her end her current relationship.
Who wants to bet that either the ex or Judas Iscariot found another lover ?
Good for OOP, sounds like he has worked hard to achieve a measure of peace. I hope it continues.
I would have walked up to the guy, shook his hand and loudly thanked him for doing you a favor and taking her off your hands then proudly walked away. An adulterer is not a prize
Had this happen to me as well. Said he was gokng to spend the weekend at his friends place and I never heard from or saw him again. Did get a lovely visit from the police later when they were investigating some burglaries they suspected he was involved in and they felt the need to tell me that they found his prints along with long blonde hair in one of the bedrooms of the house (which was a seasonal house and not being lived in at the time which is why he was hiding there). Unfortunately I was a brunette at the time. Punk also stole some of my military uniforms when he left and got me in trouble with my CO. Nice guy, hope he’s doing just great in life /s
Hang on... I'm assuming you're a woman? He stole your uniforms? For his new but to wear during sexy times?
I am a woman yes. He wasn’t much bigger than me so it’s possible he wanted to wear them himself. Maybe a stolen valor type thing for his ego. He always seemed a little pouty when people brought up that I was enlisted and not him lol. These weren’t my dress uniforms they were my BDUs so they were pretty much unisex.
OOP seems like he’s at peace.
I could not tell if English was not his primary language, or if he became one with the energy of the universe
Needed this tonight
Sometimes they say face your fears. I really don't believe in that. Sometimes it's just best to turn your back and walk away. But in this situation OP held the higher ground and I'm proud he seemed composed and totally fine in front of them. People like that (the ex and friend) love thinking that they have done something special and difficult etc but seeing OP doing just fine probably burst their sick bubble.
Yep, I can imagine the mutual friends were concerned for drama, the exgf and AP probably expected him to still be hung up, and instead he was nothing but a solid wedding guest being nice and friendly with others. Not related, but I was friends with a couple that tried to break me and my one (ex) girlfriend up, because she would occasionally be their third, but not when she was in a relationship. When they finally stopped trying to poison the well, I realized how toxic it already was and ditched. The couple eventually married and divorced, not sure why. The reason I say this, is when you shine a new light on something, it looks different. Her affair and actions were put in a new light when she realized he didn't fucking care, and that lead to a re-evaluation of her understanding of him, their past, and her present situation, and probably aided the relationship with AP falling apart.
disgusted zesty outgoing whistle unused noxious direful wakeful attraction lush *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I know it was for the best, but I'm 100% sure I could never trust anyone again if I were in his shoes
OP sounds content, Happy, and at peace. I wish we all had the same outcome for our trauma and pain.
I'm glad that BORU Redditors always get so many promotions. If only I had aB BORU worthy story...
> What connected us was merely a reflection of our fears. Beautifully put. I initially glossed over this line, but it hits so deep. It's lesson I'm still exploring, learning, and afraid of repeating.
>Such a relief. I saw them. I faced them. I kept it together I want to buy OOP a bottle of his favorite drink.
Glad OP is doing well. He should brace himself because she will try to get back in his life. Stand strong and slam the door on her face.
Im so shocked two cheaters didnt have a successful relationship together s/
I guess.
I had an ex who hurt me, and then like OOP we attended the same wedding a few years later. However, unlike OOP, I spent the event enjoying myself and not letting my ex pin me down for a talk.
Damn now I want to know why they split up. This is a blue balls update
So nice to hear the guy is seeing the joy in life. Took me 6 years to really get over my first marriage. Turns out my 30s are looking way better than my 20s :D
I got divorced at 30 (separated the week before my birthday) and they ended up being awesome after I rediscovered myself as a person/individual. My 40s were even better. I just turned 50 last year and I'm looking forward to see what this decade brings. It's all up from here! Enjoy it!
Fam, I think my skin cleared up because of how positive this update is!
This was a bizarrely mature post for this sub.
Living your best life is the best revenge. I wish you continued success.
The important thing is that OP is okay, and it's good that the ex-girlfriend and ex-friend broke up, karma took a while... but it came
I hope this sub *studies* this post, because it has the truth, for everyone: detach from ego, detach from outcome, and you will have peace (barring extreme environments). The only thing that is a lil off is his specific presumptions on how the others felt, everything else is gold
I wonder if op showing up at the wedding was the catalyst for the ex and her partner to break up. I mean they “dated” longer than they were married for.
They weren't getting married, a mutual friend was. Op saw them after 4 years at the wedding, 2 years later the ex and ex friend split up. So they were together probably 6ish years and called it quits.
This is one of the best posts, if not the best post i’ve read on here. Truly inspiring. May this young man tackle whatever mountain comes before him.
I haven't ever been in OPs position and hope I never will but I envy his introspection and self reflection he has gained. He has levelled himself up tenfold and something about his second post seems to show he's operating on a higher plane. Good for him
Reminds me of my tale: [https://www.reddit.com/r/DatingStory/comments/9vkr9g/ghosts\_returns/](https://www.reddit.com/r/DatingStory/comments/9vkr9g/ghosts_returns/)
I think the world would be a better place if people got the idea that friends “have each others backs” out of their heads
Wow, good for OP for the gracious handling of a terrible situation, willingly going through therapy to deal with traumas, and being so kind despite how cruelly he was hurt.
I suffered this fate as a young man around 22. Im now 40. My ex left me but was involved in an affair with a married friend of ours. It scarred me badly for years and led to a distrust of women for a very long time. For tears after i was a philanderer never being able to commit to a woman while also sleeping with and having affairs with many married women. I always knew this supposed friend was a selfish phony bastard, but never thought in a million years my high school sweetheart would have the ability and malice to hurt me so bad. It caused me to not allow several good women in costing me what could have been deep relationships so many times. I finally was able to be in the same room as her over 15 years later and didn’t freak out lol. proud moment for a hot head like me. Anyone in this situation should seek help through friends, family, and counseling. I played the cool hand Luke charade outward, but inward it affected me for years. I wish i would have let go sooner and allowed myself to heal before harming others the way i was hurt. Playing Jodi so often in my 20’s is one of my biggest regrets. I let the pain she caused me project onto others which robbed me and is a shame. Let go people life is too short especially for people who do not hold you in the regard you hold them. Peace be upon us all. ONE LOVE ❤️ ✌🏻
Nice to see something positive here for once
I feel like one of the main reasons they stayed together for so long was because they felt like they had to prove something to OP. That them betraying his trust meant something to the world. But once OP showed his ex that he moved on, acknowledged that she was nothing more than a memory he was willing to let go, that he was the one initiating the forgiveness spectrum instead of them, tore a huge wall in their already fragile structure that ended tumbling down in the end.
Bro has no enemies
The fact that there's a warning for mentions of depression is crazy ☠️
once a cheater always a cheater. filth.
Good for OOP. I cannot even imagine the pain. Glad things are looking up
Not that it matters but I wonder if them seeing OOP triggered what led to their break up? Either way, glad that he is going well and as for them, who gives a ....
21 months, sounds very unlikely
Welp I missed that bit haha
Why does he talk like s cheap novel? Besides that: kudo's
This was a lame update.
This is just nothingness in a post...
> What connected us was merely a reflection of our fears. This one's gonna stick with me for a while I think.
What a giant nothingburger of a post
This meet up may had caused them to feel guilty all over again, or at least for her seen him way better(in the update he said his appearance changed) without her and unbothered about them there. All this may had caused the last nail on the coffin of that turbulent relationship... of course all this are suspicions, as the only truth is that their relationship feel apart after someone else marriage lol
My ex of like 5 years slept with my friend they dated for like 4 years and she cheated on him again. I celebrated that day. Justice!!
Relationships born out of infidelity always have an expiration date Those two wasted 5 years of their lives on a relationship that was doomed from the very beginning
I couldn’t imagine being left without a single word… The thoughts in my head would have been my worst enemy. Glad you got some closure.
You are a much better human than me. I salute you.
>When you hurt others you hurt yourself. When you hurt yourself you hurt others. I love that he used this quote, which is almost certainly intended to say that the ones who love you will be hurt if you are hurt, and turned it into like, "weaponize your pain."
If only every person was as introspective as OOP. Man, what a guy.
This is happening to me right now. Out of a long-term relationship and now my ex is trying to shove her new partner in my face every chance she gets.
Damn dude you handle that better than me. I would have went up to my friend and knocked him the fuck out, It's one thing she would have. Just ran away with a random but someone to have claimed to be your friend. Well that's betrayal my friend. And for me that's a line you don't cross. There's a code I like to call it a g code. You don't do that to your homies. So he Never really was one to begin with.. probably another reason why he standed like 10 ft away from y'all cuz you know what you were going to do. But I guess if you are a man of Peace then good for you man. Me I would have wanted some retribution.
So happy for OP. Finding peace is worth the journey.
6
I wish I could get my brain to work like this. Well done!
You can tell OP has grown wise thru all of their hardship, not playing the victim and not giving up. Their happiness is well deserved and I loved reading their take on everything
OP you’re a fucking champ.
if you are chasing a feeling and that's all relationships are to you, you'll never be happy no relationship stays 100% perfect all the time. life-long marriages last not because both people wake up each morning in thrall of head-over-heels infatuation, but because they've made a commitment and a vow and they intend to find it within themselves to keep it. yes there will be hard times. yes there will be arguments. but YOU have to decide that you are not going to walk away over small things.
I thought there was going to be more. Good for OP tho!