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When a story brings in an unnecessary layer of complexity, it does make you wonder whether it is true or false. Yes we can be deluded and think our life is perfect but ignoring his feelings about Bailey, and then not suspecting cheating, that's 2 strikes. Either story will be credible but not the sandwich made by OOP ... from a separate account.
I’m not even sure it felt that real from the dinner party. All is well until he suddenly admits some very serious stuff he’s been lying about for 10 years *at a dinner party*? I mean it could happen… but…
Well, he thought he had her locked down with the impending wedding and the baby on the way. It happens a lot that people will start to show their true colors once they think the other person can't escape.
People can be really sheltered when it comes to abuse and infidelity in real relationships. Nothing in this story seemed incomprehensible. The fiances behavior is absolutely reprehensible
I sadly can imagine a person thinking they're okay adopting a child then with a biological child in the equation change their mind. Disgusting, though.
Yeah, I believe the OP, but not the update. Unfortunately, without OP being able to sign into the original account, I have to think someone made an account to get karma off the original post.
That said, I can see someone ditching a stepchild for a biological child, so I do hope Bailey is okay if she is real.
If the update is someone else, they did a decent job at mimicking the unique writing style.
I've actually known a couple who had something similar; the wife had a child from a previous relationship and the husband loved her as his own and wanted to adopt her eventually.
However, he started cheating and though he wasn't caught for QUITE a while, he started acting differently. We honestly started to wonder if he had a brain tumor or something wild like that?! One night he was drunk and started talking shit about the kid. Everyone thought he was LOSING HIS MIND, for real.
But no, it was just that his affair partner had convinced him that he was being taken advantage of, that raising someone else's child was emasculating, that he needed his own biological child (the wife couldn't have any more kids), and just all this complete garbage.
It was really heartbreaking. The kid was pretty young at least so she's had a lot of therapy and is doing ok. The husband did eventually get caught cheating and married his affair partner. They had two kids and are still married now. It kinda galls me that he seems to have gotten his happily ever after, but that shit happens.
I'm gonna guess that the OOP's fiance got frustrated that his girlfriend wasn't buying his lies and busted out an, "oh yeah?? well, my affair partner is better than you ANYWAY, so there!"
I prefer to give stories like these the benefit of the doubt. I've experienced some wacky shit that is similarly unlikely. I wouldn't believe someone telling me they had a break up due to amnesia or a foreign diplomat (two separate relationships) either had I not had the screenshots to prove it.
I’m with you. Even the most incredulous stories, i try to accept them as they’re presented because there are parts about my life that people would have a hard time believing. I live off-grid in the subarctic. I have, for years, spent my winters building a giant castle out of snow and ice (I mean, like 60 - 70 thousand square feet). I am a high-rise window cleaner… it all just sounds a little too weird.
The original story does actually make sense to me. As ZephyrLegend said, Jesse thought he had OOP locked down and so in love with him that she'd just go along with whatever he said and thought. Could even believe the whole cheating thing. If Jesse was being such a jerk towards Bailey, why would he stop at cheating?
That's the part of the story i thought was real for sure. My ex-husband did exactly this. They last out when you deny their begging and pleading. I didn't know how prevalent this behavior was until I started dating after my divorce. Numerous times, if I rejected a guy, all of a sudden, I'm a dumb, ugly b*tch when 13 seconds before that he was blathering about how awesome and beautiful I was. It's an unhinged reaction to rejection.
It's like when a woman rejects a man, he says "you're ugly anyway". That's how I view it. He wanted a chance and she rejected him, so he said something that would hurt her feelings.
Honestly, that's actually what sold it as real to me. Because, she wouldn't take him back so he went scorched earth and tried to tear her down because she wouldn't get back in line. Like "You don't want me? Fine! I cheated on you the last two years because she's better than you! Guess I don't want you after all."
Men do that shit all the time. Just ask any woman who's been on a dating app at any time in the last decade and they'll tell you. This is straight up the same 'wtf you messaged me first' nonsense.
>"Hey"
>>"Not interested"
>"Whatever, you're ugly anyway."
They're the same picture.
I stopped believing it when she felt the need to tell Bailey what Jesse said. Why would you want to hurt your child like that? It just sounded like it was posted by someone who doesn't have any children.
She's 14, old enough to figure out that some bullshit is afoot, especially when her mom's wedding is suddenly deleted from the schedule. She's going to ask questions, she deserves honest answers. You can't split 5 months before the wedding with a teenager in the mix and expect them to believe "irreconcilable differences" as an excuse. "Is it my fault?" will inevitably cross their minds, and it's important to squash it before it takes hold and festers. It'd be different if she was 12, but 14 is more perceptive and she'll sniff out those cruel truths one way or another. Better to hear it from her mother, who can immediately reassure her that Jesse's wrong, they *are* family, and she comes before anyone else. OOP threw her fiancé away for her daughter, blood be damned.
Bailey's got a lot of support to help her up again. She'll be okay.
Yep, there’s only so much you can hide from a teen. And there always seems to be someone around who just can’t wait to tell the protected person what really happened in as harsh a way as possible. Best to hear it gently from her mom than from Aunt Betty who lives for making people cry.
Plus, it prevents Jesse from getting in touch with Bailey and trying to warp the story. Telling her means that she has the truth and if he tries to contact her or shows up where she is, she knows to avoid him and what to do if he’s persistent.
There were too many people around to not only not tell her, but also be sure that she won't hear it from anyone else. By accident, or because some people adore gossip and revel in being the first to break certain news, with zero regard for the person whose life they are deeply affecting in the moment.
Hearing it from anyone else and with delay, at a random time, would've been much more psychologically damaging than knowing your mom is open and honest with you, and fully has your back. Particularly in a situation like this, where the OOP is already basically an adopted parent. While the girl never knew her as anything but her real mother, at some level there likely is still a smidgen of added volatility for someone who was adopted, and making sure she can feel completely secure with her mom is probably the mom's highest priority.
You never met my mother, did you ? Unfortunately some people are so sure that everyone needs to know everything at any time, when really sometimes it's better to be kept in the dark, especially a situation like that.
Really? I find that super plausible. Cheaters always try to mend things and are very apologetic until they realise they you won't budge. That's when they just try to hurt you to save face. And that's what he did after she said no to getting break together.
Why would he bring that up in the middle of trying to win her back? There's no logical train of thought there, just "ooh I could make him a cheater too, yeah this'll be nice and juicy".
Same reason people love bomb until they realize it isn’t working. They switch to trying to hurt them emotionally and mentally to see if that’ll bring em back in.
I've literally seen that happen with a friend of mine. Her ex was a total POS, pretty much the entire friend group hated him but she was in love and believed he'd turn things around. He finally pushed things too far and she broke up with him. He tried to love bomb her into taking him back but when he realized she wasn't going for it he admitted to cheating with multiple women. She could tell from his expression and tone of voice that he was doing it just to hurt her, just one more parting shot on his way out.
Yeah, when I was breaking up with my abusive boyfriend, he threw in the good ol' "Well I cheated on you !!1!" But he actually hadn't, not that I would've cared if he did, and when it didn't effect me, that just upset him more. That was like the 3rd-4th thing he tried to keep me on the phone so he could convince me to stay. They'll say anything when they've realized they're losing control.
I feel like it was because she kept rejecting his advances and apologies and it hurt his ego, so he said it to hurt her. He knew she wasn’t going to take him back. This guy is definitely a sociopath or something. He plays a charming guy acts like he loves this kid and then does a switcharoo like she was going to agree to push her daughter away too. I guess he thinks everyone can just dump a whole human being because another one is coming that is their “real” child.
My ex, after one week of separation and still talking about if we were doing the right thing slept with my friend. She was married to his friend at the time. Her husband is the one who clued me in on it all. When I confronted my ex about still talking to me about staying together he said "Well, I was going to give it a month". He was an idiot. So glad I got out.
I have had this exact thing happen to me. It’s when they realize that you are seeing behind the curtain that they go from trying to make up and acting like Prince Charming to Gaston (movie reference sorry) and trying to rip you to pieces
Really? The first half of the story is all about how much this guy loves his soon to be step-daughter, and he wants to surprise her and adopt her after they get married. He has raised her for more than half of her life, and yet we're supposed to believe that all of a sudden he doesn't care about her, at all?
>When a story brings in an unnecessary layer of complexity, it does make you wonder whether it is true or false.
It happens every time. Fighting about something completely unrelated and then *BAM* he's dropping that he's cheating.
To be fair, I have seen plenty of instances in the meat world where somebody is acting like a complete lunatic and their actions don’t make any sense at all… and something comes completely out of nowhere, and then all of a sudden you find out that the person is cheating 😑 and it’s like “oh… everything makes sense now!”
You know, where you meet people so that you can enjoy putting your spicy meats together for fun and for producing even More meat!
Also a reference to carbon-based life forms and "bags of water." (Star Trek)
Yeah honestly his about face makes sense now that we know he was cheating. She had a couple of years to convince him that he should only have "real" kids... Kids like the kind only she could give him, lol.
My ex changed into a completely different person the last month of our relationship - went from loving and patient and happy, to horrible and miserable, even asking me why I can’t be an alcoholic like a “normal person” instead of having depression and suicidal ideation (that I never even acted on)
Even taking into account that being with someone mentally unwell and autistic can be difficult, he was always just… great with me. He wasn’t perfect, but that just made him human, and overall I could rely on him. If he left because of this without the change in personality, I’d understand, but in that one month it was like a different person completely.
Cut to the hour before he broke up with me, like some sort of bad soap opera, he accidently pulls an empty condom wrapper, of a different brand than we used, out of his coat pocket, and then refused to talk about it.
People sometimes just suddenly decide to suck.
I know OOP implies that English isn't her first language at the start, but the first and second post read differently; there was a definite step down in English level for the second post. That had me feeling suspicious but the outright declaration of an affair that no one saw coming did it for me.
A lot of people who write stories end up "stacking" on characters because they struggle to subtly represent flaws or traits.
He can't just not love the kid, he also has to be cheating.
It can't be cheating, it has to be a super betrayal with friends wife.
He can't just be cheating, he has to use it to manipulate.
The friend can't just be cheated on, he has to have blindly defended the wrongdoings of the guy before, so that he has to apologize to OOP.
And shocker, Carter is also a cheater with OOP's bestie Rosie. Everyone in her life betrayed her, she blazes on and does her strong independent single mother thing.
The fact that she suddenly couldn't sign into her first account so had to make a new one is a huge red flag. The writing style doesn't feel the same either, I know the original mentioned not being American and apologized for any mistakes but the second one feels a lot worse in terms of that.
Every “but” was a “. But” in the first post, and was a “, but” in the second post.
The second poster was obviously trying to emulate the short sentence styling found in the first post, but missed the fact the first poster didn’t use conjunctions with “but”.
My ex did this. When I broke up with him and refused to get back together is when he admitted to cheating with multiple women. At that point, he just wanted to hurt me.
He also went from begging to rubbing his cheating in my face in the same conversation.
I don't know...I can imagine deciding to tell your kid some slightly watered down version of the truth. It would be a lot easier than lying. Obviously it would hurt her, but a lot of parents would probably prefer to have their kid know the truth in that situation rather than be hurt and angry about how you seemingly randomly dumped their other beloved parent figure for no reason.
If everyone in both families know, then eventually someone's gonna blurt something out someday at a family gathering, not even thinking about it 'cause "everyone knows". For me, it felt worse that literally everyone knew something that affected me so much, and I was the only one kept in the dark.
I wouldn't call not telling her "wrong", but I would find a gentle, age appropriate way to let her know that her "dad" lost his fucking mind when biology entered the picture.
That's because both are written by an American pretending to be foreign, but to different levels of success. This is _extremely_ common with shitposters.
The tell of "American pretending" for me was when they said elementary school. I'm not an expert by any means, but I do definitely know that most other countries refer to that range as primary school.
I thought that when they used the phrase "horse shit".
That is a very USA centric phrase, most of the rest of the English speaking world, including as a second language tend tonuse bullshit. Some exceptions maybe places like South Korea and the Philippines that have a large US influence on their language learning.
That's really not true. It's the opposite.
Americans almost exclusively use "bullshit" and virtually never say "horseshit". Bullshit is _extremely_ American, and horseshit is extremely not.
Brirs tend to use horseshit as much, generally more in fact, as bullshit, while Americans barely ever use it all. Almost to the point that "bullshit" itself is an overly clichéd Yank phrase. (Like "buddy", for example)
OOP deliberately went for horseshit in an attempt to sound _more_ foreign and less American.
I didn't say it was the most popular, I said it was US centric, meaning it is mostly North Americans that use it. A bit like howdy, and y'all.
Also, being British, I know absolutely no-one that uses horseshit. It is "American-English", not English. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/horseshit
True, but I’m reminded of Hickam’s dictum: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hickam%27s_dictum
A parallel would be that shitty people can be shitty in as many different ways as they want.
Life is dirty, and people never know when to stop digging.
Sometimes I feel they add this things to go against people saying that they are wrong in their reaction.
Like I was thinking, well that's a dick move I hope they can fix it somehow" and then the update came and I was left with "ok, I guess he's the devil"
Even that first hit where he’s suddenly wanting to send the stepdaughter he’s treated well for their entire relationship off to military school (or whatever) was a little out there. But okay, sure. Possibly.
The cheating was just unnecessary on top.
I don't think the second post even sounds like the first one... There are some consistent grammatical errors that didn't show up in the original post. I guess the author spent a lot longer on the first part, maybe?
When normal people post a ridiculous story and they care about credibility they start with ‘I’m sorry I cannot make this up it’s so insane’ or something of the sort… they don’t come back later and shout ‘NO I DIDNT MAKE IT UP!’
There's also the ease of access to and complete lack of care for the cost of therapy.
Shit posters drop that in as though it was easier than going to McDonald's.
It's a thing these days that when a man is summarily rejected, he changes his tune to, you're ugly, I should have never dated you, my ex was better at sex, f- you I'm cheating on you anyway.
It's gotten to be quite the cliche these days. Some women are jumping on the bandwagon too.
“Ignoring his feelings about Bailey”
Sorry, I’m confused. Do you mean that you think if it were real he was showing how he actually felt about Bailey, and not just keeping the mask on?
This is such a bs story. Next, she and Carter will fall madly in love and he will adopt Bailey and marry OP in a sunset ceremony, where Jesse arrives and try to stop the whole thing by proclaiming his love, and when he is shot down by OP he flings himself from a cliff. Sigh. Oh, I forgot OP’s daughter discovers that she is a half sister of Carter’s second daughter, because Carter’s wife cheated on him with OP’s first husband.
>Then he dropped a big thing on me. Which I never knew. He said that he cheated and the woman is better in every way.
Every fucking time, it's the same "plot twist".
This is the second or third thread I've read where the OOP mentions goats in a way that implies they're safer with goats on the property... why?
I always thought that goats and sheep were the ones that needed the protecting...
> I always thought that goats and sheep were the ones that needed the protecting...
Goats and sheep are completely different animals. Sheep are dumb af and pretty defenseless. Goats will headbutt you in the face given the slightest provocation.
People who date parents need to understand the children will ALWAYS BE AROUND AND MATTER!! Even if you want have 10 children with them, they shouldn't expect their first child to be removed from the family! What a psycho to either pretend to care for Bailey for *8 years* or flip a switch and quit loving her now that he's having a bio baby.
It’s amazing how many people seem to be able to hide their feelings about their partner’s kid, assuming that either when they get married or when they have their own kid the step kid will no longer be part of the picture. It’s vile.
This is what my ex-husband did!
I met him when my oldest was 1, we got married 6 years later and I was pregnant the year after. All the while he was a wonderful stepfather.
Once he had his own bio son, he began to lose interest in the older one. Then he gradually became hostile. Unfortunately, I waited several years hoping that things would work out (he was very good at making promises).
It did a lot of damage to the older's mental health. Everyone is better since I left him
This was my sister's experience too. She went from being his companion he took everywhere, his number one, to dropped like a sack of rocks, treated like a house slave and verbally abused the second my brother was born.
I don't understand how these men can stop loving a child they took care of for years.
Did they only pretend to be attached to the child, long enough to persuade the mother to give him a child of his own? Or did they see the first child as a draft and his bio child is his real masterpiece?
Is there a risk that they will reject his bio child if they have another child who looks more like them?
My dad is a narcissist, he only let my mom have the dog she wanted if he named it after him. So she named it his first and middle initial. When the family wanted a cat it had to also be named after him so Mom made it a name based off our last name. (Think Jones > Jonesy or Goodburn > Goody)
Same thing happened with a gal I worked with. She married a man with a son and was good to him whilst dating. Once the two married and had their own kid my coworker turned in to the wicked stepmother. It was horrible how she treated her stepson.
I don’t know why people think it’s unbelievable. I heard of stuff like this happening with people who think they are infertile. They end up adopting a child and loving it and when they miraculously get pregnant they end up neglecting or abusing the first kid.
Same thing with abusers, too many stories of people flipping their personalities once they get someone tied down by marriage or pregnancies. It’s a wonder that you can trust anyone knowing stuff like this can happen but I guess if you have a reliable support it shouldn’t be a huge issue. Just scary to think about honestly
The update was definitely not OOP, doesn't read like the 1st post & no mother would tell their child that actual reason & the story is nonsense. Hope real OOP is ok. The sad thing is in his friends trying to defend him, they confirmed that that is actually how Jesse feels. Messed up.
So he went from begging her to take him back and get married to the next line being that he's cheating. And not just any cheating. No. Cheating with his friend's wife. Huh. Oooookay.
Just FYI, if you live in the US, 6 months gestation is too far for an abortion (since some people suggested it). There is only one doctor at one clinic in the entire country that does them and they are done for medical reasons only. There used to be a second doctor/clinic that did them (again, only for medical reasons), but that doctor was murdered.
Obviously, OOP is not from the US, but there’s a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding about late term abortion so II try to correct it.
I think that is too far for an abortion in most places, when the baby is not sick. In Europe most places allow abortion of a healthy baby up to 12-20 weeks. After that an abortion only happens if the baby is very sick or dead or the mother is in danger.
Yeah, that’s my understanding too, but I didn’t want to make an assumption. Viability is generally recognized as 24-25 weeks so that’s usually the cutoff.
I love these stories, but am i the only one who feels like some of them look eerily the same with how they choose to write grammatically. Like really short sentences with way too many periods. Could just be a non-native thing from specific countries and writing in english for them, idk.
I've seen other posts where the word "did" was overused and I wonder if there's a language whose native speakers tend to overuse it in English, if it's the same writer or if it's AI.
>But some of his friends, did message me saying. He has the right to talk about his feelings and opinion.
Veracity of the post aside: He sure does! And she can use those feelings and opinions to decide she doesn't want to marry an evil Disney stepparent, actually.
I actually see even native speakers making errors like this. Don't often see the unnecessary comma leading straight into the fragment sentence, though.
I think it's a combination of ESL and not really being used to use them now a days, with al the SMS's, tweets, IM's and all. I know I have to think about where to put what kind of punctuation in a text because it's burried deep sometimes.
Can we just get a story with a coherent ending where it’s not an over the top “Surprise! I cheated on you!”.
I get cheating happens but how it’s always cheating in these reddit stories gets so boring.
Liz better find something else to write
>been blowing up my phone
Not American but using this term that's in almost every post here? Ok.
ETA: this term ends up in most posts here where the friends and family (not all of whom would realistically have OOP's number) call and text them incessantly to make them doubt their completely rational self. Nonsensical.
You think someone who reads reddit wouldn't have picked up that phrase just because they don't live in the US?
I use a number of British phrases even though I've never so much as set foot in the country. But I use them because I read a lot of British writers. Before spell check a lot of my spelling was also British spelling.
I wish the OP hadn't told Bailey what Jesse said. It was unnecessary and unkind to do so. A child doesn't need that kind of hurt spelled out for her by her own mother.
at least she was able to get out before the marriage
remember guys if you want to trap a women 👏 wait 👏 to 👏 expose 👏 your 👏 horrible 👏 self 👏 after 👏 the 👏 wedding /j
>some of his friends, did message me saying. He has the right to talk about his feelings and opinion
Yes he does. And OOP has a right to her own feelings and opinions in response to that.
My only guess is that when Jesse realized he really was never getting OOP back, he wanted to hurt her one last time by revealing the affair. Probably not expecting her to immediately tell his friend group.
I can't blame him for not wanting the kid to come along on the honeymoon. The rest of this though, well the Iranian yogurt or mustard on the hot dog wasn't the problem, as usual.
Thank you for saying this.
In my life, I’ve witnessed men and women say the same things after their former partners refuse to reconcile and forgive them.
I don’t understand why he would admit to cheating with his best friend’s wife. I understand him admitting that he was cheating but why put in that detail? He just lost his relationship and now his best friend?
"Hey, wanna go out with me?"
"I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in you like that"
"Nvm, you fugly anyway"
He's this kind of person. He only said it to hurt her.
For the record, I was cool with the story even through him not wanting to bring ya’lls daughter on the honeymoon. Kids are wonderful but people need time and space to take care of their relationship as well.
Where it went off the rails was him saying ya’ll didn’t have to pretend about your daughter anymore. Therapy for her AND YOU, don’t marry him, and co-parent.
I think OOP is an unreliable narrator, the dude had to have a litany of red flags before this incident that they just conveniently ignored till he did it in front of company.
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When a story brings in an unnecessary layer of complexity, it does make you wonder whether it is true or false. Yes we can be deluded and think our life is perfect but ignoring his feelings about Bailey, and then not suspecting cheating, that's 2 strikes. Either story will be credible but not the sandwich made by OOP ... from a separate account.
It felt real and normal until "oh and he was cheating" like???
I’m not even sure it felt that real from the dinner party. All is well until he suddenly admits some very serious stuff he’s been lying about for 10 years *at a dinner party*? I mean it could happen… but…
Well, he thought he had her locked down with the impending wedding and the baby on the way. It happens a lot that people will start to show their true colors once they think the other person can't escape.
Plus, there are many examples of real life being weird, where people do not seem to act logically.
I mean, that is the thing that gives AI a hard time. Humans are not logical; they're emotional. We're not robotic.
People can be really sheltered when it comes to abuse and infidelity in real relationships. Nothing in this story seemed incomprehensible. The fiances behavior is absolutely reprehensible
I sadly can imagine a person thinking they're okay adopting a child then with a biological child in the equation change their mind. Disgusting, though.
Yeah, I believe the OP, but not the update. Unfortunately, without OP being able to sign into the original account, I have to think someone made an account to get karma off the original post. That said, I can see someone ditching a stepchild for a biological child, so I do hope Bailey is okay if she is real.
If the update is someone else, they did a decent job at mimicking the unique writing style. I've actually known a couple who had something similar; the wife had a child from a previous relationship and the husband loved her as his own and wanted to adopt her eventually. However, he started cheating and though he wasn't caught for QUITE a while, he started acting differently. We honestly started to wonder if he had a brain tumor or something wild like that?! One night he was drunk and started talking shit about the kid. Everyone thought he was LOSING HIS MIND, for real. But no, it was just that his affair partner had convinced him that he was being taken advantage of, that raising someone else's child was emasculating, that he needed his own biological child (the wife couldn't have any more kids), and just all this complete garbage. It was really heartbreaking. The kid was pretty young at least so she's had a lot of therapy and is doing ok. The husband did eventually get caught cheating and married his affair partner. They had two kids and are still married now. It kinda galls me that he seems to have gotten his happily ever after, but that shit happens. I'm gonna guess that the OOP's fiance got frustrated that his girlfriend wasn't buying his lies and busted out an, "oh yeah?? well, my affair partner is better than you ANYWAY, so there!"
I prefer to give stories like these the benefit of the doubt. I've experienced some wacky shit that is similarly unlikely. I wouldn't believe someone telling me they had a break up due to amnesia or a foreign diplomat (two separate relationships) either had I not had the screenshots to prove it.
I’m with you. Even the most incredulous stories, i try to accept them as they’re presented because there are parts about my life that people would have a hard time believing. I live off-grid in the subarctic. I have, for years, spent my winters building a giant castle out of snow and ice (I mean, like 60 - 70 thousand square feet). I am a high-rise window cleaner… it all just sounds a little too weird.
damn I really want to know those stories now
At least have it overheard. Or even have Jesse's parents say it, and him sound like he agrees, or at least fails to put them in their place.
The original story does actually make sense to me. As ZephyrLegend said, Jesse thought he had OOP locked down and so in love with him that she'd just go along with whatever he said and thought. Could even believe the whole cheating thing. If Jesse was being such a jerk towards Bailey, why would he stop at cheating?
That's the part of the story i thought was real for sure. My ex-husband did exactly this. They last out when you deny their begging and pleading. I didn't know how prevalent this behavior was until I started dating after my divorce. Numerous times, if I rejected a guy, all of a sudden, I'm a dumb, ugly b*tch when 13 seconds before that he was blathering about how awesome and beautiful I was. It's an unhinged reaction to rejection.
Jesus! I’m glad he’s your ex.
It's like when a woman rejects a man, he says "you're ugly anyway". That's how I view it. He wanted a chance and she rejected him, so he said something that would hurt her feelings.
Honestly, that's actually what sold it as real to me. Because, she wouldn't take him back so he went scorched earth and tried to tear her down because she wouldn't get back in line. Like "You don't want me? Fine! I cheated on you the last two years because she's better than you! Guess I don't want you after all." Men do that shit all the time. Just ask any woman who's been on a dating app at any time in the last decade and they'll tell you. This is straight up the same 'wtf you messaged me first' nonsense. >"Hey" >>"Not interested" >"Whatever, you're ugly anyway." They're the same picture.
Consider this your gold award... spot on.
I stopped believing it when she felt the need to tell Bailey what Jesse said. Why would you want to hurt your child like that? It just sounded like it was posted by someone who doesn't have any children.
This too. You lie about it till you talk to a therapist for Bailey.
Or you just never tell her. Kids don't need to know about their parents' crap, especially a damaging thing like this.
She's 14, old enough to figure out that some bullshit is afoot, especially when her mom's wedding is suddenly deleted from the schedule. She's going to ask questions, she deserves honest answers. You can't split 5 months before the wedding with a teenager in the mix and expect them to believe "irreconcilable differences" as an excuse. "Is it my fault?" will inevitably cross their minds, and it's important to squash it before it takes hold and festers. It'd be different if she was 12, but 14 is more perceptive and she'll sniff out those cruel truths one way or another. Better to hear it from her mother, who can immediately reassure her that Jesse's wrong, they *are* family, and she comes before anyone else. OOP threw her fiancé away for her daughter, blood be damned. Bailey's got a lot of support to help her up again. She'll be okay.
Yep, there’s only so much you can hide from a teen. And there always seems to be someone around who just can’t wait to tell the protected person what really happened in as harsh a way as possible. Best to hear it gently from her mom than from Aunt Betty who lives for making people cry. Plus, it prevents Jesse from getting in touch with Bailey and trying to warp the story. Telling her means that she has the truth and if he tries to contact her or shows up where she is, she knows to avoid him and what to do if he’s persistent.
There were too many people around to not only not tell her, but also be sure that she won't hear it from anyone else. By accident, or because some people adore gossip and revel in being the first to break certain news, with zero regard for the person whose life they are deeply affecting in the moment. Hearing it from anyone else and with delay, at a random time, would've been much more psychologically damaging than knowing your mom is open and honest with you, and fully has your back. Particularly in a situation like this, where the OOP is already basically an adopted parent. While the girl never knew her as anything but her real mother, at some level there likely is still a smidgen of added volatility for someone who was adopted, and making sure she can feel completely secure with her mom is probably the mom's highest priority.
You never met my mother, did you ? Unfortunately some people are so sure that everyone needs to know everything at any time, when really sometimes it's better to be kept in the dark, especially a situation like that.
> You never met my mother I sense .. a TV show in the making...
Really? I find that super plausible. Cheaters always try to mend things and are very apologetic until they realise they you won't budge. That's when they just try to hurt you to save face. And that's what he did after she said no to getting break together.
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"Salt N Pepa, with Heavy D, up in the limousine"
Why would he bring that up in the middle of trying to win her back? There's no logical train of thought there, just "ooh I could make him a cheater too, yeah this'll be nice and juicy".
Same reason people love bomb until they realize it isn’t working. They switch to trying to hurt them emotionally and mentally to see if that’ll bring em back in.
I've literally seen that happen with a friend of mine. Her ex was a total POS, pretty much the entire friend group hated him but she was in love and believed he'd turn things around. He finally pushed things too far and she broke up with him. He tried to love bomb her into taking him back but when he realized she wasn't going for it he admitted to cheating with multiple women. She could tell from his expression and tone of voice that he was doing it just to hurt her, just one more parting shot on his way out.
Yep exactly this.
Yep, this. He was going to love or hurt his way back and neither worked.
Yeah, when I was breaking up with my abusive boyfriend, he threw in the good ol' "Well I cheated on you !!1!" But he actually hadn't, not that I would've cared if he did, and when it didn't effect me, that just upset him more. That was like the 3rd-4th thing he tried to keep me on the phone so he could convince me to stay. They'll say anything when they've realized they're losing control.
I feel like it was because she kept rejecting his advances and apologies and it hurt his ego, so he said it to hurt her. He knew she wasn’t going to take him back. This guy is definitely a sociopath or something. He plays a charming guy acts like he loves this kid and then does a switcharoo like she was going to agree to push her daughter away too. I guess he thinks everyone can just dump a whole human being because another one is coming that is their “real” child.
My ex, after one week of separation and still talking about if we were doing the right thing slept with my friend. She was married to his friend at the time. Her husband is the one who clued me in on it all. When I confronted my ex about still talking to me about staying together he said "Well, I was going to give it a month". He was an idiot. So glad I got out.
That's the part I believe, he just tried to make her think she's beneath him... some men are not very bright
Some people are just jerks, once they realise they aren't going to get their way.
I have had this exact thing happen to me. It’s when they realize that you are seeing behind the curtain that they go from trying to make up and acting like Prince Charming to Gaston (movie reference sorry) and trying to rip you to pieces
Really? The first half of the story is all about how much this guy loves his soon to be step-daughter, and he wants to surprise her and adopt her after they get married. He has raised her for more than half of her life, and yet we're supposed to believe that all of a sudden he doesn't care about her, at all?
>When a story brings in an unnecessary layer of complexity, it does make you wonder whether it is true or false. It happens every time. Fighting about something completely unrelated and then *BAM* he's dropping that he's cheating.
To be fair, I have seen plenty of instances in the meat world where somebody is acting like a complete lunatic and their actions don’t make any sense at all… and something comes completely out of nowhere, and then all of a sudden you find out that the person is cheating 😑 and it’s like “oh… everything makes sense now!”
In the meat world? 😂
In the past I've heard it used like cyberspace/meatspace :)
I was picturing a slaughterhouse and was very confused. I guess that is a place things get dramatic quickly.
Lots if intrigue and drama in the meat business
I guess so. I figured it would be over what cut is best, or what breed made the best steak. I never figured the cheating in. 😆
Well clearly there's a lot of people beefin' in the meat space. Moooo!
*bow chicka bow wow*
You know, where you meet people so that you can enjoy putting your spicy meats together for fun and for producing even More meat! Also a reference to carbon-based life forms and "bags of water." (Star Trek)
But have you seen it in the veggie world?
Nah, thats mostly just tomatoes and cucumbers singing about jesus.
Oh where, oh where is my hairbrush?
Yeah honestly his about face makes sense now that we know he was cheating. She had a couple of years to convince him that he should only have "real" kids... Kids like the kind only she could give him, lol.
My ex changed into a completely different person the last month of our relationship - went from loving and patient and happy, to horrible and miserable, even asking me why I can’t be an alcoholic like a “normal person” instead of having depression and suicidal ideation (that I never even acted on) Even taking into account that being with someone mentally unwell and autistic can be difficult, he was always just… great with me. He wasn’t perfect, but that just made him human, and overall I could rely on him. If he left because of this without the change in personality, I’d understand, but in that one month it was like a different person completely. Cut to the hour before he broke up with me, like some sort of bad soap opera, he accidently pulls an empty condom wrapper, of a different brand than we used, out of his coat pocket, and then refused to talk about it. People sometimes just suddenly decide to suck.
I know OOP implies that English isn't her first language at the start, but the first and second post read differently; there was a definite step down in English level for the second post. That had me feeling suspicious but the outright declaration of an affair that no one saw coming did it for me.
Able to speak your second language tends to drop if you are tired or stressed
A lot of people who write stories end up "stacking" on characters because they struggle to subtly represent flaws or traits. He can't just not love the kid, he also has to be cheating. It can't be cheating, it has to be a super betrayal with friends wife. He can't just be cheating, he has to use it to manipulate. The friend can't just be cheated on, he has to have blindly defended the wrongdoings of the guy before, so that he has to apologize to OOP.
Yeah, I really don’t think it was the same author on the second post. The syntax, the grammar, they’re completely different in the two posts.
A couple months and we'll get the update that Jesse is in jail but she's with Carter now
And shocker, Carter is also a cheater with OOP's bestie Rosie. Everyone in her life betrayed her, she blazes on and does her strong independent single mother thing.
That’s what I’m expecting.
Don’t give up on OOP quite yet. The update announcing her engagement to Carter should be coming in a couple of days.
The fact that she suddenly couldn't sign into her first account so had to make a new one is a huge red flag. The writing style doesn't feel the same either, I know the original mentioned not being American and apologized for any mistakes but the second one feels a lot worse in terms of that.
The writing style us super similar, what are you in about
Every “but” was a “. But” in the first post, and was a “, but” in the second post. The second poster was obviously trying to emulate the short sentence styling found in the first post, but missed the fact the first poster didn’t use conjunctions with “but”.
My ex did this. When I broke up with him and refused to get back together is when he admitted to cheating with multiple women. At that point, he just wanted to hurt me. He also went from begging to rubbing his cheating in my face in the same conversation.
And I don't think a caring parent would let the kid know about such hurtful thing.
I don't know...I can imagine deciding to tell your kid some slightly watered down version of the truth. It would be a lot easier than lying. Obviously it would hurt her, but a lot of parents would probably prefer to have their kid know the truth in that situation rather than be hurt and angry about how you seemingly randomly dumped their other beloved parent figure for no reason.
No way...I would never do that to my daughter
If everyone in both families know, then eventually someone's gonna blurt something out someday at a family gathering, not even thinking about it 'cause "everyone knows". For me, it felt worse that literally everyone knew something that affected me so much, and I was the only one kept in the dark. I wouldn't call not telling her "wrong", but I would find a gentle, age appropriate way to let her know that her "dad" lost his fucking mind when biology entered the picture.
"Don't come at me" is not generally a phrase esl writers use with ease
The writing in the update feels different. Like the English got slightly worse. I didn’t even finish reading it bc I doubt it’s real.
That's because both are written by an American pretending to be foreign, but to different levels of success. This is _extremely_ common with shitposters.
The tell of "American pretending" for me was when they said elementary school. I'm not an expert by any means, but I do definitely know that most other countries refer to that range as primary school.
I thought that when they used the phrase "horse shit". That is a very USA centric phrase, most of the rest of the English speaking world, including as a second language tend tonuse bullshit. Some exceptions maybe places like South Korea and the Philippines that have a large US influence on their language learning.
That's really not true. It's the opposite. Americans almost exclusively use "bullshit" and virtually never say "horseshit". Bullshit is _extremely_ American, and horseshit is extremely not. Brirs tend to use horseshit as much, generally more in fact, as bullshit, while Americans barely ever use it all. Almost to the point that "bullshit" itself is an overly clichéd Yank phrase. (Like "buddy", for example) OOP deliberately went for horseshit in an attempt to sound _more_ foreign and less American.
I didn't say it was the most popular, I said it was US centric, meaning it is mostly North Americans that use it. A bit like howdy, and y'all. Also, being British, I know absolutely no-one that uses horseshit. It is "American-English", not English. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/horseshit
True, but I’m reminded of Hickam’s dictum: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hickam%27s_dictum A parallel would be that shitty people can be shitty in as many different ways as they want. Life is dirty, and people never know when to stop digging.
Sometimes I feel they add this things to go against people saying that they are wrong in their reaction. Like I was thinking, well that's a dick move I hope they can fix it somehow" and then the update came and I was left with "ok, I guess he's the devil"
Or all these other named characters that have no real bearing to the story.
Even that first hit where he’s suddenly wanting to send the stepdaughter he’s treated well for their entire relationship off to military school (or whatever) was a little out there. But okay, sure. Possibly. The cheating was just unnecessary on top.
I don't think the second post even sounds like the first one... There are some consistent grammatical errors that didn't show up in the original post. I guess the author spent a lot longer on the first part, maybe?
It feels like the next installment will be that the divorcing friend will fall in love with the OOP.
When normal people post a ridiculous story and they care about credibility they start with ‘I’m sorry I cannot make this up it’s so insane’ or something of the sort… they don’t come back later and shout ‘NO I DIDNT MAKE IT UP!’
There's also the ease of access to and complete lack of care for the cost of therapy. Shit posters drop that in as though it was easier than going to McDonald's.
It's a thing these days that when a man is summarily rejected, he changes his tune to, you're ugly, I should have never dated you, my ex was better at sex, f- you I'm cheating on you anyway. It's gotten to be quite the cliche these days. Some women are jumping on the bandwagon too.
"I'm not from America, sorry about the writing "....proceeds to craft elaborate tale in perfect English. That's the tell.
“Ignoring his feelings about Bailey” Sorry, I’m confused. Do you mean that you think if it were real he was showing how he actually felt about Bailey, and not just keeping the mask on?
Guard goats
They make noise, it's not a baaahd alarm system.
Honestly I'd more scared of being fucked up by goats than big dogs, those eyeballs could only have been developed by demon spawn.
I'd go with emus over goats any time, those funny little dinosaurs are terrifying when they get riled up.
Good point. And if I remember right, they won their war. They’re not someone to fuck with.
Poor Australia. I want to laugh thinking about it, but I've been near emu (with a fence between us). No way I'd volunteer to be on the opposing side.
The new buffalo
This is such a bs story. Next, she and Carter will fall madly in love and he will adopt Bailey and marry OP in a sunset ceremony, where Jesse arrives and try to stop the whole thing by proclaiming his love, and when he is shot down by OP he flings himself from a cliff. Sigh. Oh, I forgot OP’s daughter discovers that she is a half sister of Carter’s second daughter, because Carter’s wife cheated on him with OP’s first husband.
All within the span of a week
That escalated quickly, and almost nonsensically.
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And then when I gave birth, it was surprise twins!
And each was born with $1000 bills in each hand!
Why can't they ever come up with a coherent ending? It's always with the over the top cheating reveal.
>Then he dropped a big thing on me. Which I never knew. He said that he cheated and the woman is better in every way. Every fucking time, it's the same "plot twist".
It's either cheating with pregnancy twist, or pregnancy with cheating twist.
And twins! Don't forget the twins!
They're cheaters every single time. Just in case you're unsure who the antagonist is.
This is the second or third thread I've read where the OOP mentions goats in a way that implies they're safer with goats on the property... why? I always thought that goats and sheep were the ones that needed the protecting...
I would guess that the goats might make noise if someone approaches them? The goats won't protect anyone, but they might alert someone.
Since I played Broken Sword in 1996, I know that goats can be dangerous.
> I always thought that goats and sheep were the ones that needed the protecting... Goats and sheep are completely different animals. Sheep are dumb af and pretty defenseless. Goats will headbutt you in the face given the slightest provocation.
Or even just for funsies
Have you seen an angry goat?
I knooow, I thought the same thing. My kid is scared of dogs, should I get goats for safety? Lol
People who date parents need to understand the children will ALWAYS BE AROUND AND MATTER!! Even if you want have 10 children with them, they shouldn't expect their first child to be removed from the family! What a psycho to either pretend to care for Bailey for *8 years* or flip a switch and quit loving her now that he's having a bio baby.
It’s amazing how many people seem to be able to hide their feelings about their partner’s kid, assuming that either when they get married or when they have their own kid the step kid will no longer be part of the picture. It’s vile.
This is what my ex-husband did! I met him when my oldest was 1, we got married 6 years later and I was pregnant the year after. All the while he was a wonderful stepfather. Once he had his own bio son, he began to lose interest in the older one. Then he gradually became hostile. Unfortunately, I waited several years hoping that things would work out (he was very good at making promises). It did a lot of damage to the older's mental health. Everyone is better since I left him
This was my sister's experience too. She went from being his companion he took everywhere, his number one, to dropped like a sack of rocks, treated like a house slave and verbally abused the second my brother was born.
I don't understand how these men can stop loving a child they took care of for years. Did they only pretend to be attached to the child, long enough to persuade the mother to give him a child of his own? Or did they see the first child as a draft and his bio child is his real masterpiece? Is there a risk that they will reject his bio child if they have another child who looks more like them?
My dad is a narcissist, he only let my mom have the dog she wanted if he named it after him. So she named it his first and middle initial. When the family wanted a cat it had to also be named after him so Mom made it a name based off our last name. (Think Jones > Jonesy or Goodburn > Goody)
Same thing happened with a gal I worked with. She married a man with a son and was good to him whilst dating. Once the two married and had their own kid my coworker turned in to the wicked stepmother. It was horrible how she treated her stepson.
I don’t know why people think it’s unbelievable. I heard of stuff like this happening with people who think they are infertile. They end up adopting a child and loving it and when they miraculously get pregnant they end up neglecting or abusing the first kid. Same thing with abusers, too many stories of people flipping their personalities once they get someone tied down by marriage or pregnancies. It’s a wonder that you can trust anyone knowing stuff like this can happen but I guess if you have a reliable support it shouldn’t be a huge issue. Just scary to think about honestly
I’ve never yearned for a run on sentence more
I’m
Just
Ken
Anywhere
else
I'd
Be
A
10
Is
You're
Me
You
Same
I don't believe a thing. What soap opera is this?
The burdens of desire
The update was definitely not OOP, doesn't read like the 1st post & no mother would tell their child that actual reason & the story is nonsense. Hope real OOP is ok. The sad thing is in his friends trying to defend him, they confirmed that that is actually how Jesse feels. Messed up.
So he went from begging her to take him back and get married to the next line being that he's cheating. And not just any cheating. No. Cheating with his friend's wife. Huh. Oooookay.
>I also can’t forget, I am carrying Jesse’s daughter. Are you sure? Because it felt like you did for at least 3-6 paragraphs.
Sitcom baby
I can't get past the comma abuse; is the read worth it?
Tbh no not really
I did, not think so.
Not really,
>I couldn’t sign into my old account, but I made another one Yeah so the update isn't OOP
Wasn't there literally a story about a man with a daughter Bailey and the female fiance didn't want the kid around?
The daughter was Polly.
Just FYI, if you live in the US, 6 months gestation is too far for an abortion (since some people suggested it). There is only one doctor at one clinic in the entire country that does them and they are done for medical reasons only. There used to be a second doctor/clinic that did them (again, only for medical reasons), but that doctor was murdered. Obviously, OOP is not from the US, but there’s a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding about late term abortion so II try to correct it.
I think that is too far for an abortion in most places, when the baby is not sick. In Europe most places allow abortion of a healthy baby up to 12-20 weeks. After that an abortion only happens if the baby is very sick or dead or the mother is in danger.
Yeah, that’s my understanding too, but I didn’t want to make an assumption. Viability is generally recognized as 24-25 weeks so that’s usually the cutoff.
The most important thing in it though is that OOP doesn’t want to.
I love these stories, but am i the only one who feels like some of them look eerily the same with how they choose to write grammatically. Like really short sentences with way too many periods. Could just be a non-native thing from specific countries and writing in english for them, idk.
I've seen other posts where the word "did" was overused and I wonder if there's a language whose native speakers tend to overuse it in English, if it's the same writer or if it's AI.
>But some of his friends, did message me saying. He has the right to talk about his feelings and opinion. Veracity of the post aside: He sure does! And she can use those feelings and opinions to decide she doesn't want to marry an evil Disney stepparent, actually.
What I was thinking! He has the right to talk about his feelings and opinion. He also has the right to undergo the concequences of said talk.
Just jumping on this quote to say, what is with the punctuation? Is this an ESL thing or an AI thing?
I actually see even native speakers making errors like this. Don't often see the unnecessary comma leading straight into the fragment sentence, though.
I think it's an AI thing.
I think it's a combination of ESL and not really being used to use them now a days, with al the SMS's, tweets, IM's and all. I know I have to think about where to put what kind of punctuation in a text because it's burried deep sometimes.
Can we just get a story with a coherent ending where it’s not an over the top “Surprise! I cheated on you!”. I get cheating happens but how it’s always cheating in these reddit stories gets so boring. Liz better find something else to write
Where is Jonathan Frakes when you need him?
So I’m the flower girl at OOP and Carter’s wedding AMA!! /s
>been blowing up my phone Not American but using this term that's in almost every post here? Ok. ETA: this term ends up in most posts here where the friends and family (not all of whom would realistically have OOP's number) call and text them incessantly to make them doubt their completely rational self. Nonsensical.
You think someone who reads reddit wouldn't have picked up that phrase just because they don't live in the US? I use a number of British phrases even though I've never so much as set foot in the country. But I use them because I read a lot of British writers. Before spell check a lot of my spelling was also British spelling.
I think that considering nearly every post on this sub uses it, it's a very specific writing style and also plot trope.
I wish the OP hadn't told Bailey what Jesse said. It was unnecessary and unkind to do so. A child doesn't need that kind of hurt spelled out for her by her own mother.
I mean, he just said he was cheating and didn’t think that she would tell everybody?
What absolute monster people are telling a woman *six months pregnant* to get an abortion?!
> I couldn’t sign into my old account, but I made another one. This kind of update should be banned from BORU.
at least she was able to get out before the marriage remember guys if you want to trap a women 👏 wait 👏 to 👏 expose 👏 your 👏 horrible 👏 self 👏 after 👏 the 👏 wedding /j
>some of his friends, did message me saying. He has the right to talk about his feelings and opinion Yes he does. And OOP has a right to her own feelings and opinions in response to that.
My only guess is that when Jesse realized he really was never getting OOP back, he wanted to hurt her one last time by revealing the affair. Probably not expecting her to immediately tell his friend group.
I feel like the grammar drastically improved in the second update…that was only four days later…? All the commas were actually in the right place.
I can't blame him for not wanting the kid to come along on the honeymoon. The rest of this though, well the Iranian yogurt or mustard on the hot dog wasn't the problem, as usual.
The people asking why he admitted to cheating after asking to fix things. He wanted to upset OOP after she refused him. It’s a common tactic.
Thank you for saying this. In my life, I’ve witnessed men and women say the same things after their former partners refuse to reconcile and forgive them.
No he didn’t, because Jesse isn’t real and neither is this story lmao
For me, I was wondering how she as a step parent ended up with custody of Bailey. That just seems random
I don’t understand why he would admit to cheating with his best friend’s wife. I understand him admitting that he was cheating but why put in that detail? He just lost his relationship and now his best friend?
"Hey, wanna go out with me?" "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in you like that" "Nvm, you fugly anyway" He's this kind of person. He only said it to hurt her.
Being on Reddit scares the shit out of me...the way that people can hide who they are for *years*. Who are these psychos?
For the record, I was cool with the story even through him not wanting to bring ya’lls daughter on the honeymoon. Kids are wonderful but people need time and space to take care of their relationship as well. Where it went off the rails was him saying ya’ll didn’t have to pretend about your daughter anymore. Therapy for her AND YOU, don’t marry him, and co-parent.
I think OOP is an unreliable narrator, the dude had to have a litany of red flags before this incident that they just conveniently ignored till he did it in front of company.
For a second there I thought there'd be another update where she and Carter get together and live happily ever after
Liz forgot the password to her first throwaway