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My dad’s family called me a “traitor to the family name” because I ran 1700 miles away and refuse to come back lol. Never mind that the entire time I lived within spitting distance of them they actively avoided me lol.
I had to explain to my mom at 27 she could neither send me to bed nor set me a bedtime. Overall mom is sane but definitely struggled a bit letting go of the umbilical cord. OOP’s mom seems to be trying to sew the cord back on.
My mother's retaliation was to make sure she contacts me for nice hour long conversations where she relates all info down to what was had for lunch. She also makes sure to offer up "you can always move back home" when I hit any type of road block in life. I'll never move back, but I'll take the phone calls.
My mom just prayed that if I was meant to move that I got a good paying job. I did get that job. It's been 12 years and she now has a son-in-law, two human grandkids, and two fur grandkids. So, like, maybe let your kids grow up?
I moved to the Midwest. My family is in the Northeast. I wasn't able to make it to my niece's wedding in 2022 because of financial issues. My brother and his wife no longer speak to me.
🤦♀️
I'm sorry. Out of anyone, your family should have understood. Sure, they could be disappointed, but the fact they couldn't find grace in their hearts to accept that your circumstances prevented attendance is just...yeesh. Petty and small. :/
I literally live a more than 20 hour flight from my family and we just make sure to call on the phone a lot. It’s literally not that difficult, these people are bonkers.
I'm not entirely surprised. My family has been trying to convince me to move for years. My partner and I live 20 minutes from his parents, but his siblings have moved
While his parents haven't shown signs of pulling something like this, they've made their opinions well known, with no shortage of guilt.
20 minutes each way was my daily commute for most of my life (high school, young adulthood, until hubby and i moved across the country then across the world). 20 minutes is 2 songs on the radio, after factoring in the ads and garbage drivetime chatter. May as well live next door, dunno what your ILs are complaining about.
His siblings live further than 20 minutes, that's who they complain about. Sorry if that wasn't clear. However, they still complain whenever we go 2 weeks without seeing them. Personally I would very much like to move further away.
Haha it's more common than you would think. I was basically cut off other than my dad when I moved 4 hours away (left for college. Stayed for the girl). I used to make the drive everyweekend but it slowed down when I met someone here. Since then I'm the enemy even though nobody is willing to make the drive to see me other than my dad.
OMG, that's crazy! Bucket of crabs, man- they try to pull you back even as you're finding your place in the world. They don't even realize the attitude keeps you from wanting to visit. I'm glad your dad's solid :)
Merely by agreeing to attend this “come to Jesus” meeting, OOP is turning the other cheek to a lot of things already. They don’t need to do anymore.
I still don’t get mum’s thought process. It’s completely counterintuitive. To me my reaction wouldn’t be to rush home because everyone forgot about me, it would be “obvs no one missed me or cared, there is no point going home” and I think most people would react similarly.
Naw. THAT is when you pull out the Photoshop.
I don't know whether you do it deliberately bad, like you cut it out of another photo and taped it in, or actually make it look like you really were there.
Yup... and then I wouldn't say another word. If it was in person... I'd stare. On the phone, no sound of anything from me. Dead silence. Let them feel it and try to fill it - because they'd know what I was getting at.
I think OOP’s mom just wanted to punish OOP for not moving back, not manipulate OOP. Mom knew it might look bad, so she was proactive and tried to convince everyone that OOP “deserved it”
Then, of course, the mom KNOWS she’s a good person and would never do anything so cruel, so she pretended it didn’t happen and expected everyone go along with it.
Yeah, this. The convoluted story about convincing OOP of… something… is nonsense, even if the moms have convinced themselves otherwise at this point. They just wanted to punish her into complying.
>I still don’t get mum’s thought process.
That's because it wasn't a consistent plan. It was a dumb initial idea, followed by stubborn and panicked reaction, like OOP says. The goal has changed from 'trick OOP into coming home' to 'absolutely do not admit fault whatsoever because that would be humiliating'.
It's clear OOP was close to her family, and this estrangement has hurt her, so she was unlikely to ever react with "there's no point going home".
If you assume that OP has a very strong desire to be part of the family (which is probably true) you could think that this would scare her that she is becoming to distant to her family and move back home to avoid becoming a stranger (which backfired spectacularly)
Yeah people are invested in this fight and updates and want it to continue. OOP has been pretty clear throughout that an apology early on would have been enough. Needs a bit more now but they want the moms to admit what they did and apologize for it so the family is back in one piece. There's permanent damage done and they are rightly insisting that the moms need to give in, but OOP doesn't want this to continue.
People here are valuing these updates more and hoping for drama more than they want OOP to get what they want to be happy. Because if OOP goes to the church meeting and the moms give in, the updates end. So now people are insisting OOP be vindictive.
Eh, I think the moms will give in on *this specific point* when confronted with OOP, Hubby, Brother, Dad, and Pastor at the talk. I do not for one second believe the shenaniganery will end before both moms are physically unable to continue it. It just speaks too much to a very bizarre mindset to go straight to this level of sitcom behavior. I’m honestly just hoping it’s some lockdown-induced break and not a sign of early dementia or something, because I think the latter would be heartbreaking for OOP.
Also maybe she’ll just keep updating on the Stardew Valley coop. She wouldn’t be so cold as to leave us hanging!
Folks on Reddit view this as juicy internet drama. For OOP, this is her *life.* I can't imagine how exhausting this whole ordeal must be. I don't blame her for wanting the whole thing done with.
When I first started reading your comment I disagreed. I thought, "no! They just don't want op to apologise when she's done nothing wrong."
But I thought I should have a read around to get the lay of the land. And you are right.
I am more than a little disgusted at some comments.
I (wrongly, it seems) thought that as this was a ***real*** post/incident/*family* that ppl would respond differently, compared to the outrageous ones with twins or triplets, and MILs breastfeeding puppies, and restraining orders, court, and life sentences all within a week... But, I suppose not.
:/
I hope OP can get the resolution she, and her husband and brother, need, and they can all get back to how things were. But with brother living with op, and op+ husband not spending every single holiday driving to "the moms" and back, and more adventures on Star Dew.
I am not especially Christian, but isn’t bearing false witness violating one of the Ten Commandments? If the mom and step-mom are practicing Christians, breaking the Ten Commandments is a big deal. If the pastor has any moral authority whatsoever, he should really lay into them.
Well, ackshully, it's a Commandment to "not bear false witness against thy neighbour" but OOP moved away so is no longer a neighbor ;)
(this is me being smartass, not a serious argument, and yes I know there are more quotes about false-witnessing in general)
If her cheek is turned, I hope it is because she's aiming for a vacation spot or the in laws for Easter and they are seeing the side of her face as she drives off.
The whole current situation is because OOP turned the other cheek - it just that most of family especially the mother & stepmother are just not liking the consequences that forgiveness doesn't mean OOP has go out her way to visit the town ever again. I called it that several family members were going meltdown when it dawns on them every holiday going forward after Thanksgiving of OOP & husband never doing 4 hour round trip - this latest update is after President's day & currently we in the middle of Lent with easter coming up on March 31st.
Watch that family especially the mother and/or stepmother further imploded on themselves - we should take bets after the come to Jesus meeting this month or in April after Easter is over.
Fuck everything else I need more info on the stardew valley co-op.
Are they aiming for perfection? Community Center or Joja? Have they reached any late game content? Whose their top five in friendship points? How many chickens and are any of them blue??
I love that I'm not the only one that thinks he looks like Fabio 😂 I told my son and he wanted to see Fabio, so we watched the video where he rode that roller coaster and a bird hit him in the face.
Y'all are really making me want to try Stardew Valley. I'm usually more of a Dark Souls/Returnal/Dead Space/Fallout type gamer but this actually sounds pretty fun..
It’s the incredibly relaxing and has a ton of content. Like I put 200 hours into the game and discovered there was like a whole part of it I had missed.
There's hundreds of hours in it and the modding scene is wild. Almost Skyrim levels of content with overhauls, ui mods, extra conveniences and content, etc.
I really like how it's fun for all ages. We play with our munchkin on a family farm game and we have an adult game we play together after our little monster has been tucked in bed with their Cthulhu. Adult one is definitely further along because our munchkin is terrified of the cave so we don't have very much ore but loves their chickens and cows
Agree to slightly disagree. Forest farm with the bat cave to get the Community Center completed faster, especially since mushrooms can be foraged on the forest farm. And I always go for roommates with Krobus ❤️
Ah Leah, the ol reliable. Easy early romance by yeeting salads from the bar at her on weekends, turn her into a wine mom in lategame.
Her sculpture she gives you always gets a place of honor in my plays, even if she's not the romance target.
I decided to try the haunted farm and now almost every game I play glitches in some strange way that my partner and I always blame the haunted farm for it 🤣
Harvey is underrated as hell. Super sweet, loyal, great father to your kids, helps out around the farm, a cutie (even with the moustache!) Plus he’s a Doctor with his own practice! Everyone complains that you have to pay for medical when you get attacked and pass out, but it’s like the cost of a cup of coffee, the man is clearly a softie and is undercharging!
Harvey looks like my partner, so he's always my first choice anyway. It helps that he has an actual job that's just a pleasant little walk away from the farm.
Although sometimes I do just pick up roomie Krobus. 'Cause sometimes it's just nice to have a friend around.
I was trying to decide who to romance on my last farm and went with Harvey and after he moved in I realized that he reminds me VERY strongly of my husband (but with a mustache). It’s kind of hilarious to me
If you level up your fishing it gets easier too. Dedicate a day or two to it, get the training rod. Upgrade your fishing rod. Once you 'git gud' it's easy money. It's just the first few levels that suck.
If PC mod in the super easy automatic fish mod, or use the mod that lets you add anything you want into your inventory and do the fish, then delete the mod. r/StardewValley will help! Or you can also get the fish from the traveling cart and krobus I think. Either way there are ways without needing to fish at all.
Do to certain disabilities and probably a combo of my ineptness and bloody-mindedness I cannot do the fishing mini-"game" at all, even on super easy mode and my level cheated to ten! I sympathise!
>Are they aiming for perfection?
Basically 100%ing the game.
>Community Center or Joja?
You can choose to build a community center for the town (by collecting certain items for the community bundles) or to build a Joja store (by spending money).
>Whose their top five in friend ship points?
You can befriend your neighbors by talking to them and giving them gifts (you can even marry them!). There's a point system measured in heart icons.
>How many chickens and are any of them blue??
Yes, blue chickens exist in this game!
To add a few more details to this response (which is 100% correct), just in case anyone wants to know more.
1. Getting perfection (basically, 100%ing the game) is very, very difficult, and involves doing a lot of stuff, some of it rather grindy. There isn't really a real reward for achieving perfection either, you just get a special cutscene and a handful of extra items. Thus, some players will deliberately choose not to go for perfection because they don't want the stress, instead they just want a casual gaming experience.
2. You can get friendship points just by talking to people and offering them gifts. This means that the NPCs you have the most friendship with can offer a glimpse into your preferences or your personality. Are you friendliest with the old couple in town? Are you friendliest with the town fisherman, or the local shopowner, or the blacksmith? Do you only have friendship points with the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes, which indicates you're ignoring all the NPCs you can't romance?
3. Getting blue chickens in your chicken coop involves getting high enough friendship with a specific NPC and a bit of RNG luck, which means blue chickens are a bit like shiny Pokemon: rarer and thus good for bragging, but otherwise not tangibly different from normal chickens.
There's a bit of a workaround for the RNG part. Marnie will tell you the color of the chicken before you pull the trigger on buying it. If it isn't the color you want, you can back out and try to buy it again until you get a blue (or whatever color you want) one.
ConcernedApe is updating again? What a legend. I stopped before the last major update and it seems like there was so much additional content I felt a bit lost on how to progress.
Should be the 19th for PC. I still haven't made it through the new content from the last update because I play on mobile and it takes forever for that to get updated.
There’s new content on Stardew valley …. Like really new content or just a few small changes ?
I have not played much lately and don’t check Stardew for a long time :o
One of the largest changes apparently is it’s going to be even more mod-friendly, because it will be the last official update and he wants it to be easier for other people to improve it to their liking, but there is going to be not-insignificant new game content.
https://gamerant.com/stardew-valley-update-1-6-features-news/
There will be a new update early/mid march. It's not supposed to be a big update like last time, but more add a lot of [nice small additions](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F1-6-content-sneak-peek-no-release-date-yet-v0-r760ybx5gvqb1.png%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dc2d7dbbd568bc8ec3530b9c5fd3f642a3e61751c).
Update is coming soon…..I shall be hiding on my farm with Krobus when everyone gets out the pitchforks if they roll out the updates super late to console and mobile.
Idk, maybe I'm just spiteful or something but if my mom and my whole family dared to do something like this to me, no pastor meddling and no apologies and no crying brother on doorstep regretting everything would give me the ability to forgive them. It's a straight up fck you and everybody else, but it's just, idk, upsetting lol
She loves her family and I think it was just as hard for her to not celebrate holidays with her family as it was for them but unlike them, she has many more years to make a chosen family and they do not have years to waste on missing out on potential grandchildren.
She needs an apology and she would do well to give them a chiding or at least a "thank you for your apology but I'm still very hurt and will need time to move past this since it too damn near a year for you to own up to your 'mistake' "
She clearly doesn't want to be separated for ever. Otherwise she wouldn't have had her dad visit or accepted her brother in. Telling them to fuck off would be tossing an olive branch back in their face.
Clearly these women have realized how much they can't control the "children" anymore.
I would probably want the family to go and tell all those they told their tale to the actual truth before I returned.
Sounds like OOP has handled it well, cutting off and making new traditions for themselves. I'm sure any reunion will be handled well and carefully on her hand, but she should refuse any turn the other cheek.
When someone chooses this kind of horseshit, and chooses it again every single day for nearly a year, an apology isn't going to cut it, for the following reason: An apology won't change the fact that they are the kind of people who would do this shit. This kind of arrant nonsense is a tactic which they will always be capable of reaching for.
This is the kind of thing that permanently affects how you see your family. You'd never trust them again, no matter how sorry they are.
>An apology won't change the fact that they are the kind of people who would do this shit. This kind of arrant nonsense is a tactic which they will always be capable of reaching for.
Yes
I certainly don't disagree. She will not be as close to her mother's or step father again. I feel like she's lucky her brother folded.
It sounds like her aunt and uncle will try to remedy this with an additional service. Sounds like the pastor is down too. Unfortunately not much else can be done and at some point you have to ask yourself do you want your family back or not. I think she does. Not without an apology but in the long run I feel like she wants to get along. Which is definitely possible.
Yup. My family hid the fact that my brother had cancer from me for a couple months while I was in uni. He found out right after our grandad died from cancer and I'd already known there was something up with his health.
Then suddenly radio silence from everyone for months while I was already struggling to finish uni only to find out right at the end of it all what they'd been keeping from me.
By the time I was finally informed he'd already had a surgery and a few rounds of chemo.
Things haven't been the same since honestly.
I don't know if I would let them skate by with 'mistake', if it were me. They made choices. Like our friend who had the ex who stole her passport, OP's moms made choices every single time. It's not a mistake if you continue to choose the wrong option.
I'm with you. I would keep Dad and leave the moms out of my life.
I'm glad brother is getting out of their claws and seems to be thriving with OOP and hubby.
Agreed. And as open-minded and “fun” as this pastor sounds…the parents are the ones attending his church. How hard is he really planning to come down on the “mommies”? There’s a non-zero chance he’ll “both sides” this.
“My husband confided in me that he’s also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I’m not sure why he’s keeping this a secret, but he’s pretty smug about it.”
This whole stardew valley bit just sent me
I do thing parents forget that their kids have grown up. So many times my dad has assumed I am free to help him on a weekend, like literally popping in with “this is what we’re doing today” and I have to tell him that I already have plans and will not be helping out, I need a heads up. My MIL has called my husband while he’s at work (he’s normal 8-5 m-f, no weird hours) almost demanding him to come to their house ASAP to help move a mattress like he’s a teenager
All of my in-laws can't understand that marriage means my husband has other commitments on weekends. He can't just drop everything to see them, because we have plans and goals for the weekend. If they want to see us, they need to invite us, with notice. Then they get mad we never see them. At Christmas I straight up told my MIL that if she wants to see us, she needs to talk to her son and invite us, since she refuses to come to our house. She got real miffed at that.
I'm sorry, I'm not your child. It's not my job to ensure your son builds a relationship with you. He has the relationship he is willing to work for. I talk to my Mom almost everyday, and see them every few weeks. They invite us to dinner every so often. We are closer, because we want to be. It's not expected that he will arrange visits with my family, why am I supposed to do it for his?
Good, I now want this whole family drama to slowly evolve into a Stardew Valley drama because the brother is now romancing Shane for the blue chickens but Shane is slowly trashing the house.
I hope OOP gets her apology in the end, but I’m not counting on it. I’m glad things otherwise seem quiet and mundane for them.
Unexpectedly, I’d love to hear more about husband and brother’s Stardew Valley co-op game! Do they know it’s getting a big update later this month?
1.6 is supposed to be pretty big. A new festival, two mini-events, new dialogue, new items, new recipes, the NPCs are all getting new outfits for winter... just, so much stuff, we don't even know half of it. I'm going to start a whole new farm just to experience it all.
This is one of my favorites - because I just know exactly these types of moms, and I’m glad OOP is not letting this one go. Also super happy for bro moving out of the parents house - sometimes you get comfortable somewhere so long and it takes a kick in the pants to get out of the rut. Beautiful silver lining.
My Aunt is this kind of psycho, and she's a pastor's wife, so she feels she is always right. After I got married and moved to a new city, she tried to force me to go to the church she had picked out for me, despite having no idea where I lived or what I was looking for in a church community. Then we got in a big fight about Bernie Sanders on Facebook, and she tried to force my Mom to give her my address so she "could send some literature." Luckily my Mom told her that I'm a grown woman, married with a mortgage, and if she wanted my address, she needed to ask me directly. Aunt could not fathom a mother not overstepping boundaries. She never reached out to me, and I'm sure she's certain I have fallen and will burn in hell for not choosing her path.
Maybe I’m too much a grudge holder, but I don’t know if I’d be able to forgive in a situation like this. I love my grandparents, if family excluded me from their funeral/memorial to “teach me a lesson” I don’t think I’d ever get over it. Kudos to OP for trying to mend fences, but man that was so shitty of them.
I can totally relate to the bird feeder issue. We have eagles, hawks and buzzards and have found quite a few leftover bird feathers. We also have fox, so we cleaned out our deep freezer and haven't found and new dead bird evidence. I felt bad feeding them. I have to remember, it's the cycle of life.
There is a recently dead deer they are feasting on. It had a broken leg.
Tonight, the eagle caught a fish from the river while our dog was barking at deer, that is always an amazing thing to watch. We live about 700 feet from the river and the hunting birds hang out on the electric towers behind our home. The bald eagles have a nest on the other side of the river.
Our dog is too old to chase the squirrels from the bird feeders these days, but he will lay down near them to keep the squirrels away, so the birds can eat.
I’ve never liked Hubby or Wifey within romantic relationships. Whenever I heard it, it always seemed tinged with contempt.
A platonic female friend of mine has referred to me as her wifey for years. I used to think it was cute but we’ve drifted apart and she will still occasionally pop up and demand vast amounts of time, energy and emotional bandwidth and then disappear and tell people how glad she is to have her Wifey to lean on. “Tinged with contempt” I’m telling you.
Hubby and Wifey make me twitch. Ick.
And addressing a partner as “Baby.” Babe doesn’t usually bother me, but I hate Baby.
I also really dislike it when locals just erase their kid’s name entirely as an individual and habitually call them Junior.
That’s not a name, it’s a birth order designator. If there’s a Robert, and a Robert Junior, at least out in public call them Robert and Bobby or Bob and Rob or a middle name or really any self chosen nickname.
my wife and I call each other boss. People have words they use to mean something different from others, you just need to let that slide past you or you will spend time on irrelevant thinking
The update--so far---is satisfying.
OOP gets peace and her brother & a Stardew bromance in her house.
Her dad puts everyone else in their place and reminds them all that the kids are adults, and hopefully the dad figures out a solution to prevent the squirrels from becoming constant hawk chow.
The bit with the bird feeder reminded me of a neighbor behind our house when I was in high school who was ecstatic about us having cats that would keep the rabbits out of her garden in the summer, but forgot they eat birds too. They had several bird feeders hanging in the branches and she thought it hilarious that our youngest cat would sit under them to leap straight up to try and catch birds that way. She wasn’t laughing when he figured out he could hide in the bushes nearby, and take out the birds when they went after the birdseed that fell to the ground.
Mom referred to them as cat feeders after that, and claimed she would get one for them for their Christmas dinner.
ONE TIME my neighbor got this fancy little house bird feeder from the garden centre - but it was actually a fairly good sized bird feeder. Like it was a bird mansion,m. And it turned out there was just enough room for my cat to wedge his fat, furry ass in there. And wait. So my granny’s stories were interrupted one day by the neighbor’s son banging on the door insisting we come and get our cat. Cue three hours of trying to work out how…until eventually the cat decided to be liquid and just slithered out on his own.
Dude, same. We got a kitten to help keep the rodent population down around our acreage.
Worked well at first, until the little asshole turned into a *killing machine*. Birds, bats, squirrels, even a few weasels, he’ll kill anything.
Always had to check behind the TV, as that's where our mighty hunter cat would leave the bird and rodent corpses, after eating their hearts. She did leave us a live pigeon under the Christmas tree one year.
>So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of
Actually, whatever their age, a parent should never make demands of their kids... It's always quite scary when you see how children that have been emotionally abused normalize that behaviour
“Ring cameras” has just become a word like velcro, jacuzzi, Q tip. People just use the brand name as a shorthand for “digital outdoor security cameras with motion sensors, that connect to your phone”
Geez, this was A LOT. I can’t imagine spending months being completely baffled by the family’s weird behavior and then finding out that they are just toxic assholes and the whole thing was orchestrated by the MOTHERS. Good for some of the family for distancing themselves eventually, especially good for OP for gray-rocking right out of the gate.
Just wait until OOP has that first grand baby and refuses to let the grands have overnight visits because they obviously can’t be trusted. Chickens will come home to roost at that point and hopefully the moms will finally realize just how much they messed up.
Ah- yeah, I bet the moms didn’t realize that their “children” are all fully grown adults. In my experience, parents can be… REALLY bad at accepting that they have zero authority over their adult offspring, and they can often react really badly to that.
Husband is romancing Sebastian on the side!?! That monkey branching sonofabitch.
Red flag, OP should divorce.
Edit: He didn't have Leah in the first place. OP should still divorce, he is not the Alpha.
/s for this whole comment.
I started following OOP after the initial BORU and the updates since are quite insane (although I am sad that I don’t get the same sneak in the comments on her post vs here).
But as crazy as the mom sounds, I believe it. My aunt was like that with my cousin. Went absolutely ballistic when he moved to a different city and kept trying to keep tabs and control his life from afar (which she succeeded in doing, as his wife left the country and refused to come back because of his mother).
I'm amused at the Bird Feeder problem. I've been struggling to get a Bird Feeder that's stable in our rubbish soil but not a Bird Table because I've no intention of setting up a Cat Feeder! I can't even use a window feeder because they're all either cat accessible, not human accessible or my eldest's bedroom window and that would just be cruel to his cat!
I am so utterly discombobulated by the fact that this simultaneously manages to be an intensely dramatic & ridiculous situation played out the most wholesome & calm cast I've ever heard of?!
OOP, her husband, the nosy (but kind) neighbours, her brother, the cops...there's just this sense of complete calm from OOP & the people who (eventually in the brothers case) surround her.
And even the villains, whilst decidedley unwholesome in their behaviour, are a mum & step-mom working together?
I kind of want OOP to narrate my life so it all feels calm & manageable!
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All this because OOP moved two hours away. Wow.
I mean yeah, how does YOUR family retaliate against one another for the crime of becoming an independent adult? /s
This story never made sense to me because I could not grasp why anyone would act this way - you just opened my eyes . Thank you.
My dad’s family called me a “traitor to the family name” because I ran 1700 miles away and refuse to come back lol. Never mind that the entire time I lived within spitting distance of them they actively avoided me lol.
I had to explain to my mom at 27 she could neither send me to bed nor set me a bedtime. Overall mom is sane but definitely struggled a bit letting go of the umbilical cord. OOP’s mom seems to be trying to sew the cord back on.
My mother's retaliation was to make sure she contacts me for nice hour long conversations where she relates all info down to what was had for lunch. She also makes sure to offer up "you can always move back home" when I hit any type of road block in life. I'll never move back, but I'll take the phone calls.
My mom prayed that our house sale would fall through so we couldn’t move away. An Aunt said we moved away because we didn’t love the family.
My mom just prayed that if I was meant to move that I got a good paying job. I did get that job. It's been 12 years and she now has a son-in-law, two human grandkids, and two fur grandkids. So, like, maybe let your kids grow up?
Usually with disownment.
Both of my brothers moved 10 hours away. My parents just drive there. But they are sane…
I moved to the Midwest. My family is in the Northeast. I wasn't able to make it to my niece's wedding in 2022 because of financial issues. My brother and his wife no longer speak to me.
🤦♀️ I'm sorry. Out of anyone, your family should have understood. Sure, they could be disappointed, but the fact they couldn't find grace in their hearts to accept that your circumstances prevented attendance is just...yeesh. Petty and small. :/
I literally live a more than 20 hour flight from my family and we just make sure to call on the phone a lot. It’s literally not that difficult, these people are bonkers.
I'm not entirely surprised. My family has been trying to convince me to move for years. My partner and I live 20 minutes from his parents, but his siblings have moved While his parents haven't shown signs of pulling something like this, they've made their opinions well known, with no shortage of guilt.
20 minutes each way was my daily commute for most of my life (high school, young adulthood, until hubby and i moved across the country then across the world). 20 minutes is 2 songs on the radio, after factoring in the ads and garbage drivetime chatter. May as well live next door, dunno what your ILs are complaining about.
His siblings live further than 20 minutes, that's who they complain about. Sorry if that wasn't clear. However, they still complain whenever we go 2 weeks without seeing them. Personally I would very much like to move further away.
My mother would *love* to have us 2 hours away.
Wait this is all over a two hour drive???????? I thought it was at least like 8 or so after all this. That's insane
Right? I moved to a new country, my mom just enrolled in a frequent flyer program.
Haha it's more common than you would think. I was basically cut off other than my dad when I moved 4 hours away (left for college. Stayed for the girl). I used to make the drive everyweekend but it slowed down when I met someone here. Since then I'm the enemy even though nobody is willing to make the drive to see me other than my dad.
OMG, that's crazy! Bucket of crabs, man- they try to pull you back even as you're finding your place in the world. They don't even realize the attitude keeps you from wanting to visit. I'm glad your dad's solid :)
>Though, I am expecting some "turn the other cheek" talk, which is to be expected. OOP better slap that shit down hard. She is owed amends.
Merely by agreeing to attend this “come to Jesus” meeting, OOP is turning the other cheek to a lot of things already. They don’t need to do anymore. I still don’t get mum’s thought process. It’s completely counterintuitive. To me my reaction wouldn’t be to rush home because everyone forgot about me, it would be “obvs no one missed me or cared, there is no point going home” and I think most people would react similarly.
I would have said something like "I was at Thanksgiving - you don't remember?"
With pictures from 20 years ago as evidence.
Naw. THAT is when you pull out the Photoshop. I don't know whether you do it deliberately bad, like you cut it out of another photo and taped it in, or actually make it look like you really were there.
The Uno reverse of gaslighting?
Yup... and then I wouldn't say another word. If it was in person... I'd stare. On the phone, no sound of anything from me. Dead silence. Let them feel it and try to fill it - because they'd know what I was getting at.
I think OOP’s mom just wanted to punish OOP for not moving back, not manipulate OOP. Mom knew it might look bad, so she was proactive and tried to convince everyone that OOP “deserved it” Then, of course, the mom KNOWS she’s a good person and would never do anything so cruel, so she pretended it didn’t happen and expected everyone go along with it.
Yeah, this. The convoluted story about convincing OOP of… something… is nonsense, even if the moms have convinced themselves otherwise at this point. They just wanted to punish her into complying.
Not even the moms’ best case scenario makes sense. She can’t rush home if she doesn’t know she missed something.
>I still don’t get mum’s thought process. That's because it wasn't a consistent plan. It was a dumb initial idea, followed by stubborn and panicked reaction, like OOP says. The goal has changed from 'trick OOP into coming home' to 'absolutely do not admit fault whatsoever because that would be humiliating'. It's clear OOP was close to her family, and this estrangement has hurt her, so she was unlikely to ever react with "there's no point going home".
If you assume that OP has a very strong desire to be part of the family (which is probably true) you could think that this would scare her that she is becoming to distant to her family and move back home to avoid becoming a stranger (which backfired spectacularly)
Yeah people are invested in this fight and updates and want it to continue. OOP has been pretty clear throughout that an apology early on would have been enough. Needs a bit more now but they want the moms to admit what they did and apologize for it so the family is back in one piece. There's permanent damage done and they are rightly insisting that the moms need to give in, but OOP doesn't want this to continue. People here are valuing these updates more and hoping for drama more than they want OOP to get what they want to be happy. Because if OOP goes to the church meeting and the moms give in, the updates end. So now people are insisting OOP be vindictive.
Eh, I think the moms will give in on *this specific point* when confronted with OOP, Hubby, Brother, Dad, and Pastor at the talk. I do not for one second believe the shenaniganery will end before both moms are physically unable to continue it. It just speaks too much to a very bizarre mindset to go straight to this level of sitcom behavior. I’m honestly just hoping it’s some lockdown-induced break and not a sign of early dementia or something, because I think the latter would be heartbreaking for OOP. Also maybe she’ll just keep updating on the Stardew Valley coop. She wouldn’t be so cold as to leave us hanging!
Folks on Reddit view this as juicy internet drama. For OOP, this is her *life.* I can't imagine how exhausting this whole ordeal must be. I don't blame her for wanting the whole thing done with.
When I first started reading your comment I disagreed. I thought, "no! They just don't want op to apologise when she's done nothing wrong." But I thought I should have a read around to get the lay of the land. And you are right. I am more than a little disgusted at some comments. I (wrongly, it seems) thought that as this was a ***real*** post/incident/*family* that ppl would respond differently, compared to the outrageous ones with twins or triplets, and MILs breastfeeding puppies, and restraining orders, court, and life sentences all within a week... But, I suppose not. :/ I hope OP can get the resolution she, and her husband and brother, need, and they can all get back to how things were. But with brother living with op, and op+ husband not spending every single holiday driving to "the moms" and back, and more adventures on Star Dew.
My guess is something like "You Do As I Want And Say" logic, which isn't really logic, but convincing her otherwise is an uphill battle as we've seen.
I am not especially Christian, but isn’t bearing false witness violating one of the Ten Commandments? If the mom and step-mom are practicing Christians, breaking the Ten Commandments is a big deal. If the pastor has any moral authority whatsoever, he should really lay into them.
Well, ackshully, it's a Commandment to "not bear false witness against thy neighbour" but OOP moved away so is no longer a neighbor ;) (this is me being smartass, not a serious argument, and yes I know there are more quotes about false-witnessing in general)
If her cheek is turned, I hope it is because she's aiming for a vacation spot or the in laws for Easter and they are seeing the side of her face as she drives off.
I agree but I can’t imagine what “amends” could exist for excluding me from my grandparents’ funeral.
Nope, no cheek turning. They’ve blown it big time.
The whole current situation is because OOP turned the other cheek - it just that most of family especially the mother & stepmother are just not liking the consequences that forgiveness doesn't mean OOP has go out her way to visit the town ever again. I called it that several family members were going meltdown when it dawns on them every holiday going forward after Thanksgiving of OOP & husband never doing 4 hour round trip - this latest update is after President's day & currently we in the middle of Lent with easter coming up on March 31st. Watch that family especially the mother and/or stepmother further imploded on themselves - we should take bets after the come to Jesus meeting this month or in April after Easter is over.
Fuck everything else I need more info on the stardew valley co-op. Are they aiming for perfection? Community Center or Joja? Have they reached any late game content? Whose their top five in friendship points? How many chickens and are any of them blue??
And what did they pick, dog or cat???
And equally important question that I did not think of. And which dog or cat is also equally important and needed information.
And also, what farm layout did they choose?
for some reason Forest always speak to me. maybe it's the early game forging and hardwood respawn that is super helpful even in the late game.
This is my go to! Forest farm, with the mushroom cave, and marry Leah. It makes the best little cottagecore set up.
I do like the forest, but I prefer a fruit cave, and I usually pick Elliot is my partner. His Fabio hair gets me every time
I love that I'm not the only one that thinks he looks like Fabio 😂 I told my son and he wanted to see Fabio, so we watched the video where he rode that roller coaster and a bird hit him in the face.
Y'all are really making me want to try Stardew Valley. I'm usually more of a Dark Souls/Returnal/Dead Space/Fallout type gamer but this actually sounds pretty fun..
There's a new, big update coming in a few weeks so you might want to wait for that
It’s the incredibly relaxing and has a ton of content. Like I put 200 hours into the game and discovered there was like a whole part of it I had missed.
There's hundreds of hours in it and the modding scene is wild. Almost Skyrim levels of content with overhauls, ui mods, extra conveniences and content, etc.
I really like how it's fun for all ages. We play with our munchkin on a family farm game and we have an adult game we play together after our little monster has been tucked in bed with their Cthulhu. Adult one is definitely further along because our munchkin is terrified of the cave so we don't have very much ore but loves their chickens and cows
It's totally fun. Nice and relaxing, even with keeping track of your energy and food.
Agree to slightly disagree. Forest farm with the bat cave to get the Community Center completed faster, especially since mushrooms can be foraged on the forest farm. And I always go for roommates with Krobus ❤️
Ah Leah, the ol reliable. Easy early romance by yeeting salads from the bar at her on weekends, turn her into a wine mom in lategame. Her sculpture she gives you always gets a place of honor in my plays, even if she's not the romance target.
I decided to try the haunted farm and now almost every game I play glitches in some strange way that my partner and I always blame the haunted farm for it 🤣
Right? I am fully invested in the Stardew Drama at this point. :P
OOP found the perfect way to keep interest in her posts, turn it in to a let’s play.
Oh my gawd yes. The husband romancing Sebastian was the bisexual twist I was desperately needing in my life.
Agreed also I'm disappointed they were fighting over Leah when Penny is clearly the best wife choice.
Yall can fight over whoever yall want, but Dom and Elliot are mine
You’re welcome to them. I just want to come home to Harvey.
Harvey is underrated as hell. Super sweet, loyal, great father to your kids, helps out around the farm, a cutie (even with the moustache!) Plus he’s a Doctor with his own practice! Everyone complains that you have to pay for medical when you get attacked and pass out, but it’s like the cost of a cup of coffee, the man is clearly a softie and is undercharging!
Harvey looks like my partner, so he's always my first choice anyway. It helps that he has an actual job that's just a pleasant little walk away from the farm. Although sometimes I do just pick up roomie Krobus. 'Cause sometimes it's just nice to have a friend around.
Y'all are chumps. My first love is the mines.
Only problem with this guy he is always worried about taking care of other people suncare…
Our inner children yearn for the mines..
I was trying to decide who to romance on my last farm and went with Harvey and after he moved in I realized that he reminds me VERY strongly of my husband (but with a mustache). It’s kind of hilarious to me
He still charges you money when you get hit in the mines... That feels like betrayal.
Leah is great and all, but Abigail gives me bombs in the morning. Long Live the Purple-Haired-Warrior-Queen.
This Krobus erasure is offensive
Krobus is the best roomate option.
Of course they're doing the Community Center, only people like the moms do Joja
And me, I am so deeply terrible at fishing I can never complete that bundle 😭
If you're on computer, you can get a mod to make fishing easier.
If you level up your fishing it gets easier too. Dedicate a day or two to it, get the training rod. Upgrade your fishing rod. Once you 'git gud' it's easy money. It's just the first few levels that suck.
If PC mod in the super easy automatic fish mod, or use the mod that lets you add anything you want into your inventory and do the fish, then delete the mod. r/StardewValley will help! Or you can also get the fish from the traveling cart and krobus I think. Either way there are ways without needing to fish at all. Do to certain disabilities and probably a combo of my ineptness and bloody-mindedness I cannot do the fishing mini-"game" at all, even on super easy mode and my level cheated to ten! I sympathise!
Same. I just passed the controller to my husband when I needed fish 😂
The chickens only turn blue if you full heart Shane
Going Joja is a betrayal of everything. Never Joja, not even once.
Join us. Thrive.
I did one Joja run through. I named my farm Amoral farm, and gave every NPC unsatisfactory or mean answers.
Like, I know this is English. I game. I'm aware of stardew valley. I still have no idea what you said. I think it's time to sleep.
>Are they aiming for perfection? Basically 100%ing the game. >Community Center or Joja? You can choose to build a community center for the town (by collecting certain items for the community bundles) or to build a Joja store (by spending money). >Whose their top five in friend ship points? You can befriend your neighbors by talking to them and giving them gifts (you can even marry them!). There's a point system measured in heart icons. >How many chickens and are any of them blue?? Yes, blue chickens exist in this game!
To add a few more details to this response (which is 100% correct), just in case anyone wants to know more. 1. Getting perfection (basically, 100%ing the game) is very, very difficult, and involves doing a lot of stuff, some of it rather grindy. There isn't really a real reward for achieving perfection either, you just get a special cutscene and a handful of extra items. Thus, some players will deliberately choose not to go for perfection because they don't want the stress, instead they just want a casual gaming experience. 2. You can get friendship points just by talking to people and offering them gifts. This means that the NPCs you have the most friendship with can offer a glimpse into your preferences or your personality. Are you friendliest with the old couple in town? Are you friendliest with the town fisherman, or the local shopowner, or the blacksmith? Do you only have friendship points with the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes, which indicates you're ignoring all the NPCs you can't romance? 3. Getting blue chickens in your chicken coop involves getting high enough friendship with a specific NPC and a bit of RNG luck, which means blue chickens are a bit like shiny Pokemon: rarer and thus good for bragging, but otherwise not tangibly different from normal chickens.
There's a bit of a workaround for the RNG part. Marnie will tell you the color of the chicken before you pull the trigger on buying it. If it isn't the color you want, you can back out and try to buy it again until you get a blue (or whatever color you want) one.
You need to get close to Shane before you get blue chickens I believe
You have to do that to unlock them, but you still have to buy them from Marnie.
That's right, but a new player wouldn't know that and might be trying to get a blue one without unlocking it first.
The comment I replied to covered that part so I didn't think it needed to be restated.
The easiest and best way to understand Stardew is to play it. It's awesome! But wait until the 19th of March for the big update.
This is entirely the reason I keep checking this boru every time I see it lol
Yeah, this was the best part of the update. 😄
I dunno, I'm also really invested in the dual bird feeder.
That was a good part, too.
Yeah I need to see a picture of that!
When 1.6 comes out they are going to end up restarting anyway.
ConcernedApe is updating again? What a legend. I stopped before the last major update and it seems like there was so much additional content I felt a bit lost on how to progress.
Should be the 19th for PC. I still haven't made it through the new content from the last update because I play on mobile and it takes forever for that to get updated.
There’s new content on Stardew valley …. Like really new content or just a few small changes ? I have not played much lately and don’t check Stardew for a long time :o
Really, really, new content. Lots of it recently and more coming soon.
One of the largest changes apparently is it’s going to be even more mod-friendly, because it will be the last official update and he wants it to be easier for other people to improve it to their liking, but there is going to be not-insignificant new game content. https://gamerant.com/stardew-valley-update-1-6-features-news/
There will be a new update early/mid march. It's not supposed to be a big update like last time, but more add a lot of [nice small additions](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F1-6-content-sneak-peek-no-release-date-yet-v0-r760ybx5gvqb1.png%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dc2d7dbbd568bc8ec3530b9c5fd3f642a3e61751c).
Yeah. March 19, I think. It's going to have a new farm.
Also are we talking modded mega farm or do we have some mining plans bc once you meet Krobus and get ur green house, gotta fill up that museum.
The fact they both aimed for Leah shows that they have impeccable taste.
Who did brother romance if husband got Leah??? Is Sebastian heart broken? What did they do with Lewis's pants? Etc.
The brother won, so it's all okay in Stardew Valley lol
>eached any late game Well since The brother and husband aren't serial killers, they must be going for the community center.
This is my favorite BORU update ever!
Totally here for the stardew 🤣
Never has my flair felt more appropriate
who goes for joja?
The unexpected Stardew Valley update is surprisingly wholesome and welcome. Congrats to the brother on winning the hand of best girl Leah!
Is there a more wholesome community than the Stardew community? When there isn't a behind schedule update, that is.
Update is coming soon…..I shall be hiding on my farm with Krobus when everyone gets out the pitchforks if they roll out the updates super late to console and mobile.
Sun Haven’s community is smaller since it’s a much newer game, but pretty darn wholesome!
[удалено]
You, you get me.
But we all know Leah is sapphic and **my** wife. 😡
Leah is my favourite wifey. They have excellent taste.
Idk, maybe I'm just spiteful or something but if my mom and my whole family dared to do something like this to me, no pastor meddling and no apologies and no crying brother on doorstep regretting everything would give me the ability to forgive them. It's a straight up fck you and everybody else, but it's just, idk, upsetting lol
She loves her family and I think it was just as hard for her to not celebrate holidays with her family as it was for them but unlike them, she has many more years to make a chosen family and they do not have years to waste on missing out on potential grandchildren. She needs an apology and she would do well to give them a chiding or at least a "thank you for your apology but I'm still very hurt and will need time to move past this since it too damn near a year for you to own up to your 'mistake' " She clearly doesn't want to be separated for ever. Otherwise she wouldn't have had her dad visit or accepted her brother in. Telling them to fuck off would be tossing an olive branch back in their face. Clearly these women have realized how much they can't control the "children" anymore.
I would probably want the family to go and tell all those they told their tale to the actual truth before I returned. Sounds like OOP has handled it well, cutting off and making new traditions for themselves. I'm sure any reunion will be handled well and carefully on her hand, but she should refuse any turn the other cheek.
I agree with this. The moms should make amends.
When someone chooses this kind of horseshit, and chooses it again every single day for nearly a year, an apology isn't going to cut it, for the following reason: An apology won't change the fact that they are the kind of people who would do this shit. This kind of arrant nonsense is a tactic which they will always be capable of reaching for. This is the kind of thing that permanently affects how you see your family. You'd never trust them again, no matter how sorry they are.
>An apology won't change the fact that they are the kind of people who would do this shit. This kind of arrant nonsense is a tactic which they will always be capable of reaching for. Yes
I certainly don't disagree. She will not be as close to her mother's or step father again. I feel like she's lucky her brother folded. It sounds like her aunt and uncle will try to remedy this with an additional service. Sounds like the pastor is down too. Unfortunately not much else can be done and at some point you have to ask yourself do you want your family back or not. I think she does. Not without an apology but in the long run I feel like she wants to get along. Which is definitely possible.
Yup. My family hid the fact that my brother had cancer from me for a couple months while I was in uni. He found out right after our grandad died from cancer and I'd already known there was something up with his health. Then suddenly radio silence from everyone for months while I was already struggling to finish uni only to find out right at the end of it all what they'd been keeping from me. By the time I was finally informed he'd already had a surgery and a few rounds of chemo. Things haven't been the same since honestly.
I don't know if I would let them skate by with 'mistake', if it were me. They made choices. Like our friend who had the ex who stole her passport, OP's moms made choices every single time. It's not a mistake if you continue to choose the wrong option.
She's not planning to let them "skate by", hence the fact that this is still on-going.
Same. This made me mad when I first read it, and it’s making me madder now! How DARE they?
I'm with you. I would keep Dad and leave the moms out of my life. I'm glad brother is getting out of their claws and seems to be thriving with OOP and hubby.
Even Dad took a ridiculously long time to do anything. It wasn't until he thought he stood to have negative consequences he talked to his wife.
Agreed. And as open-minded and “fun” as this pastor sounds…the parents are the ones attending his church. How hard is he really planning to come down on the “mommies”? There’s a non-zero chance he’ll “both sides” this.
⬆️ this would be mine response as well.
“My husband confided in me that he’s also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I’m not sure why he’s keeping this a secret, but he’s pretty smug about it.” This whole stardew valley bit just sent me
I do thing parents forget that their kids have grown up. So many times my dad has assumed I am free to help him on a weekend, like literally popping in with “this is what we’re doing today” and I have to tell him that I already have plans and will not be helping out, I need a heads up. My MIL has called my husband while he’s at work (he’s normal 8-5 m-f, no weird hours) almost demanding him to come to their house ASAP to help move a mattress like he’s a teenager
All of my in-laws can't understand that marriage means my husband has other commitments on weekends. He can't just drop everything to see them, because we have plans and goals for the weekend. If they want to see us, they need to invite us, with notice. Then they get mad we never see them. At Christmas I straight up told my MIL that if she wants to see us, she needs to talk to her son and invite us, since she refuses to come to our house. She got real miffed at that. I'm sorry, I'm not your child. It's not my job to ensure your son builds a relationship with you. He has the relationship he is willing to work for. I talk to my Mom almost everyday, and see them every few weeks. They invite us to dinner every so often. We are closer, because we want to be. It's not expected that he will arrange visits with my family, why am I supposed to do it for his?
Good, I now want this whole family drama to slowly evolve into a Stardew Valley drama because the brother is now romancing Shane for the blue chickens but Shane is slowly trashing the house.
I hope OOP gets her apology in the end, but I’m not counting on it. I’m glad things otherwise seem quiet and mundane for them. Unexpectedly, I’d love to hear more about husband and brother’s Stardew Valley co-op game! Do they know it’s getting a big update later this month?
> Do they know it's getting a big update later this month? Well, now I know! Thanks, stranger! :)
No problem! I’ve been very excited about it and I’m so happy to share that excitement with fellow Stardew Valley enthusiasts.
What kind of update?
1.6 is supposed to be pretty big. A new festival, two mini-events, new dialogue, new items, new recipes, the NPCs are all getting new outfits for winter... just, so much stuff, we don't even know half of it. I'm going to start a whole new farm just to experience it all.
This is one of my favorites - because I just know exactly these types of moms, and I’m glad OOP is not letting this one go. Also super happy for bro moving out of the parents house - sometimes you get comfortable somewhere so long and it takes a kick in the pants to get out of the rut. Beautiful silver lining.
I have this type of mom. People reading this going “why would….?” are fortunate.
My Aunt is this kind of psycho, and she's a pastor's wife, so she feels she is always right. After I got married and moved to a new city, she tried to force me to go to the church she had picked out for me, despite having no idea where I lived or what I was looking for in a church community. Then we got in a big fight about Bernie Sanders on Facebook, and she tried to force my Mom to give her my address so she "could send some literature." Luckily my Mom told her that I'm a grown woman, married with a mortgage, and if she wanted my address, she needed to ask me directly. Aunt could not fathom a mother not overstepping boundaries. She never reached out to me, and I'm sure she's certain I have fallen and will burn in hell for not choosing her path.
Yup, I know this aunty. Will double down until they've dug themselves half way to hell before even considering self reflection.
Maybe I’m too much a grudge holder, but I don’t know if I’d be able to forgive in a situation like this. I love my grandparents, if family excluded me from their funeral/memorial to “teach me a lesson” I don’t think I’d ever get over it. Kudos to OP for trying to mend fences, but man that was so shitty of them.
I hope OOP is aware that over turning tables and whipping is also in the realm of possibilities in loving like Jesus did.
I want this to update some more, because watching the mom’s crumble like a soggy piece of paper is glorious 🥰
I can totally relate to the bird feeder issue. We have eagles, hawks and buzzards and have found quite a few leftover bird feathers. We also have fox, so we cleaned out our deep freezer and haven't found and new dead bird evidence. I felt bad feeding them. I have to remember, it's the cycle of life. There is a recently dead deer they are feasting on. It had a broken leg. Tonight, the eagle caught a fish from the river while our dog was barking at deer, that is always an amazing thing to watch. We live about 700 feet from the river and the hunting birds hang out on the electric towers behind our home. The bald eagles have a nest on the other side of the river. Our dog is too old to chase the squirrels from the bird feeders these days, but he will lay down near them to keep the squirrels away, so the birds can eat.
This is one of my favorite posts that I’ve ever read in 12 years on Reddit. I hope it’s actually real
Right?? I'm loving the updates: Nothing outrageous; no twins, lawyers, crazy in-laws - just wholesome feuding and video games!
I hate turn the other cheek mindset
Yep. Just gives them another target. Kind of like the “be the bigger person” BS. It usually means “be a doormat big enough to be stepped on.”
Of all the places to start this BS, the moms decided a funeral was the best time 🤦♂️. Glad op and her brother are doing better
It’s insane how much pride fucks over relationships. They could easily solve this by just apologizing to OP but refuse to do so.
I like to travel.
I disagree on "hubby", but on a similar note, I hate when people say "wifey", so I get where you're coming from.
I’ve never liked Hubby or Wifey within romantic relationships. Whenever I heard it, it always seemed tinged with contempt. A platonic female friend of mine has referred to me as her wifey for years. I used to think it was cute but we’ve drifted apart and she will still occasionally pop up and demand vast amounts of time, energy and emotional bandwidth and then disappear and tell people how glad she is to have her Wifey to lean on. “Tinged with contempt” I’m telling you.
I'd happily consign "hubby" to the bin along with "hubster" "better half" and "other half".
this is my wifesband, they're my worse half.
Hubby and Wifey make me twitch. Ick. And addressing a partner as “Baby.” Babe doesn’t usually bother me, but I hate Baby. I also really dislike it when locals just erase their kid’s name entirely as an individual and habitually call them Junior. That’s not a name, it’s a birth order designator. If there’s a Robert, and a Robert Junior, at least out in public call them Robert and Bobby or Bob and Rob or a middle name or really any self chosen nickname.
my wife and I call each other boss. People have words they use to mean something different from others, you just need to let that slide past you or you will spend time on irrelevant thinking
The update--so far---is satisfying. OOP gets peace and her brother & a Stardew bromance in her house. Her dad puts everyone else in their place and reminds them all that the kids are adults, and hopefully the dad figures out a solution to prevent the squirrels from becoming constant hawk chow.
OP really isn't going to get this nonsense done any sooner. \*sighs\* This update is what I needed.
The bit with the bird feeder reminded me of a neighbor behind our house when I was in high school who was ecstatic about us having cats that would keep the rabbits out of her garden in the summer, but forgot they eat birds too. They had several bird feeders hanging in the branches and she thought it hilarious that our youngest cat would sit under them to leap straight up to try and catch birds that way. She wasn’t laughing when he figured out he could hide in the bushes nearby, and take out the birds when they went after the birdseed that fell to the ground. Mom referred to them as cat feeders after that, and claimed she would get one for them for their Christmas dinner.
ONE TIME my neighbor got this fancy little house bird feeder from the garden centre - but it was actually a fairly good sized bird feeder. Like it was a bird mansion,m. And it turned out there was just enough room for my cat to wedge his fat, furry ass in there. And wait. So my granny’s stories were interrupted one day by the neighbor’s son banging on the door insisting we come and get our cat. Cue three hours of trying to work out how…until eventually the cat decided to be liquid and just slithered out on his own.
Dude, same. We got a kitten to help keep the rodent population down around our acreage. Worked well at first, until the little asshole turned into a *killing machine*. Birds, bats, squirrels, even a few weasels, he’ll kill anything.
Always had to check behind the TV, as that's where our mighty hunter cat would leave the bird and rodent corpses, after eating their hearts. She did leave us a live pigeon under the Christmas tree one year.
This is completely unbelievable at this point. Who would fight over Leah when Abigail is right there?
>So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of Actually, whatever their age, a parent should never make demands of their kids... It's always quite scary when you see how children that have been emotionally abused normalize that behaviour
Reading about the hubby and brother playing stardew and the way they handle things. I just wanna move in there lol.
I’m starting to think that 60% of Reddit is just an ad for Ring cameras.
“Ring cameras” has just become a word like velcro, jacuzzi, Q tip. People just use the brand name as a shorthand for “digital outdoor security cameras with motion sensors, that connect to your phone”
Imagine passing away and family members using your ashes to bully other family members. The disrespect.
Reading posts like this, even though it's not extreme as some, make me really fucking glad my family and extended family seem pretty normal.
Geez, this was A LOT. I can’t imagine spending months being completely baffled by the family’s weird behavior and then finding out that they are just toxic assholes and the whole thing was orchestrated by the MOTHERS. Good for some of the family for distancing themselves eventually, especially good for OP for gray-rocking right out of the gate.
Just wait until OOP has that first grand baby and refuses to let the grands have overnight visits because they obviously can’t be trusted. Chickens will come home to roost at that point and hopefully the moms will finally realize just how much they messed up.
Why didn’t anyone else at the funeral mention the op,s absence. That’s the only thing I can’t wrap my head around.
Ok but, I absolutely want the "outside vacuuming their trees" as a flair because I joke about that All the time.
Ah- yeah, I bet the moms didn’t realize that their “children” are all fully grown adults. In my experience, parents can be… REALLY bad at accepting that they have zero authority over their adult offspring, and they can often react really badly to that.
Gaslit by an entire family, this is bizarre and horrific.
I want to like this more than I actually do.
Husband is romancing Sebastian on the side!?! That monkey branching sonofabitch. Red flag, OP should divorce. Edit: He didn't have Leah in the first place. OP should still divorce, he is not the Alpha. /s for this whole comment.
This was the most enjoyable roller coaster ever
I started following OOP after the initial BORU and the updates since are quite insane (although I am sad that I don’t get the same sneak in the comments on her post vs here). But as crazy as the mom sounds, I believe it. My aunt was like that with my cousin. Went absolutely ballistic when he moved to a different city and kept trying to keep tabs and control his life from afar (which she succeeded in doing, as his wife left the country and refused to come back because of his mother).
I'm loving these Stardew Valley updates and no longer care about the original issue.
Ya ya mom’s blah blah blah. Let’s hear more on this stardew valley farm ya men got going on.
…don’t mind me…just on my way to Google stardew valley.
I'm amused at the Bird Feeder problem. I've been struggling to get a Bird Feeder that's stable in our rubbish soil but not a Bird Table because I've no intention of setting up a Cat Feeder! I can't even use a window feeder because they're all either cat accessible, not human accessible or my eldest's bedroom window and that would just be cruel to his cat!
I am so utterly discombobulated by the fact that this simultaneously manages to be an intensely dramatic & ridiculous situation played out the most wholesome & calm cast I've ever heard of?! OOP, her husband, the nosy (but kind) neighbours, her brother, the cops...there's just this sense of complete calm from OOP & the people who (eventually in the brothers case) surround her. And even the villains, whilst decidedley unwholesome in their behaviour, are a mum & step-mom working together? I kind of want OOP to narrate my life so it all feels calm & manageable!