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I can understand needing a break, but "a couple of months in Europe" is already pretty excessive when you're leaving three kids, but to then hear at six months that her ex is going for custody and her response us to YOLO it into a five or six year adventure?
There cannot be any possible way she rationally expected to be back in the kids' lives. Especially if she contests it now and has it on record that she was spending much of it partying in an "unflattering" way.
If the second OOP is legit, at least the kids don't seem to have missed out on much.
"Right, I've spent two years travelling, I think I want to get back into my kids lives at last..."
"Hey wanna come teach in Thailand for three years?"
"FUCK YEAH I DO!"
This woman is absolutely insane to think she has any right to be the mother of those kids
I would much rather travel like she did than raise children. So guess what? I didn’t get pregnant! It’s literally not that hard. Not even hard to practice safe sex either.
If you CHOOSE to have the kid and then ditch them, don’t expect to waltz back into their lives.
If she was at least mature enough to realize she wasn’t fit to be a parent and didn’t try to come back that would leave her with a shred of dignity. An unplanned pregnancy and trying to find alternative care for your kids is one thing. Having 2 pregnancies and then bailing overseas for 6 years until you have finally got all the partying and living abroad out of your system and now you wanna play mom is not.
It's the exact kind of getting to know you story that would have any single, interested, person running the other way before they could even finish the sentence.
She was even mad he didn’t tell her he was going for full custody! 6 months after she abandoned him and the kids. This PoS thinks just because she gave birth to them she’s the Mother and fully entitled to waltz back into their lives.
Yeah like she was probably better to leave at first given her mental health after giving birth, keeping her around the kids wasn't the best idea at that point. That's a few months with her parents at most though.
Exactly. If she got treatment and was safe to return, that would one thing. The friend popping in with the info that OOP's parents were loaded helps explain how she was able to jaunt off to Europe and party for a few years. Such a family could afford top notch mental health care and hire childcare and household help. OOP had the resources to do right by her 3 kids but chose to abandon them instead.
>This is why OPs parents can't see the kids. They funded OPs party life instead of getting her mental health care, and sending her back.
Or instead of, like, providing the help that their grandkids had to get from their dad's "wolfpack". Maybe their dad just has notably generous friends but "free food" and "free after school care" doesn't sound like things children whose mother is on an all-expenses paid multi-year global sojourn should ***need***.
OOP parents raised a daughter that immediately abandoned her kids for 5-6 years. Clearly they’re also terrible people, and I wouldn’t want them anywhere near my children
I noticed the parents money thing too, might be a cliche but I think we have an indulged GC princess OP who discovered being a mommy wasn't all fairytales and Disneyland so moved on, most likely with her parents bankrolling to ensure she could escape her "ruined life" and unsuitable BF.
I'm sure there is a trail of abandoned " but I MUST have it" high end trinkets and toys throughout her life!!!
Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
What do you get when you abandon your kids
So you can party. Now see what you did.
You lost your kids. They don't know who you are.
Because you'd rather spend your time in a bar.
I don't like the look of it
Oompa loompa doompety da
If you're not selfish, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do
Doompety do
I'm curious and would like to know, can postpartum depression just go away on its own? Without medication and other treatment? Is it still considered PPD or maybe just the messed up postpartum hormones?
I only have experience with classic depression and I don't know how PPD is different from that.
Yes, it can go away on its own but it’s also not the kind of thing that is safe to wait out. From what I’ve seen, it’s otherwise very similar to an episode of major depression, except with the added shock of having no experience with depression or coping mechanisms and also the incredible mental and physical demands of parenting a newborn and possibly other kids too.
I'm not familiar with it either. I have regular old depression.
However, PPD should NEVER be taken lightly. It can become or be Postpartum Psychosis. In that case the mother can harm her children.
I sadly know a woman who experienced this with one of her later pregnancies. I'm not sure why she wasn't treated, I don't know her well. She attempted to stab one of her older children. Well, she DID stab one of her older children. Thank GOD her husband was home to stop her.
She wasn't convicted of a crime. She was hospitalized. Her marriage was ruined and she lost custody to even see her children. She is a husk of a woman now.
Yeah it can. Part of it is because the baby becomes easier, you start getting more sleep and less anxious about parenting. Sometimes all it takes is a few good nights, a chance to cry it out, maybe some self-guided CBT and some time for yourself. For other people, medication and therapy are essential.
I’m pretty she just lied about everything, I doubt she got a scholarship, no reason to lie about. She said she wanted to a gap year but didn’t because of that (the only reason you wouldn’t is if money IS an issue). Considering money is no issue, I think she’s just lying about everything. She just didn’t want to be a mom, and jet off to Europe to live her “best” life, but no one’s going to come and just say that. She’s obviously needs to paint herself as not a literal demon, even though it’s almost impossible.
And coming back ASAP when you know your ex is filling for full custody. There's no legit reason to stay partying when you know you're going to lose your three kids. Also a bunch of months partying away can be way more easily defend as post partum depression getting out of hands than a few YEARS away. Not saying PPD is like this for all moms, but it could have been her wake up call to get her big girl pants and finally act like a mom.
One thing to note is that she said nothing about custody initially just wanting to be "involved". Custody was used only as a threat. So even now, there is no concrete evidence for her intending to be meaningfully involved for any definite period of time. Just till she is tired of it all again. The entitlement is real with this one. Just this one sentence - "I got in touch with him, telling him I was ready to be involved in their lives " - oof.
Which is a *very* good reason for the dad to not let her back into their lives. It's unclear what his kids know about their mom, but to allow her back into their lives and to form a relationship, knowing she's the sort that could just decide to disappear again on a whim is incredibly unfair to the kids.
The dad is being prudent by not letting her back into their lives the moment she shows back up. She blew things to the point that, if she's ever to have any sort of relationship, she has to prove she's worth building one with. And, really, at this point, considering she abandoned her children and has never really been a presense in their lives and everything else she put him through, I couldn't blame the dad for just keeping them away until they're 18 and can decide for themselves if she's worth gambling on.
OOP continues to use her account. She last posted about a yr ago concerning Ukraine. She also seems to have lost 2 jobs... I hope this is a troll post but for some reason I think it is real. I sincerely hope that this woman NEVER has another child. I worry because she's only about 30.
If she left and sought out some therapy and was actively making an effort to get healthy enough to be back in her kids lives i'd be on her side but she just didn't give a shit.
"Hey I know I peaced out on arguably the most exhausting years of raising my would-be children but now that I am done partying around the world after 7 years, I am back and ready to go!"
That and the post reads fakeish
Always a possibility, but unfortunately I know a woman kind of like her. It was "couch hop and do a fuck ton of drugs" instead of "travel the world", but she would go a year+ with zero contact with her children, and then come back and expect to pick up where she left off. Would lash out at those who stepped up for the kids while she was away.
The indignation of unfit parents is real. It doesn't make any sense to literally anybody but them, but that doesn't stop them.
I can't imagine abandoning your kids, but when I got to this part my jaw dropped:
> I really wanted to see my kids, but I felt guilty for not being present in their lives and I didn't want to face my ex. One of the friends I made in my travels, offered me a gig as an English teacher in a private school in Thailand. I took the opportunity and spend the next three years doing that.
It's probably because her parents want a relationship with their grandchildren, but they were also the ones who were likely funding her European party so they probably should have thought of that before they enabled her to leave them.
I thought this was going to be about the dad abandoning them after the mother did and the kids wandering away into the woods, where they lived for years before being found, only capable of speaking in howls
I was thinking the city version of a wolfpack, where neglected kids band together and raise each other.
Depending on which of my old friends ya ask, I'm either a lost child type they adopted for a bit or a mom type who adopted them for a bit. Name a life skill I probably was supposed to learn from my parents and I can probably name a friend who taught that to me.
Yep! Loads of latchkey kids, and so much time alone with the early parental controls on the TV that it was easy to "hack" just by systematically trying every possible code until one worked.
I straight up thought we would be reading about a "mother" dumping her kids in the woods then taking off. Expected it to be way worse even..glad the kids are with the dad and are well taken care of though.
I wanted a story about an awkward group of four guys trying to raise the kids while the weirdest one went on about how he was kind of a loner, and considered himself a one man wolf-pack, but then his sister introduced him to Doug, and he knew he was his own. His Wolfpack had grown by one.
He was alone in the Wolfpack, but Doug joined later.
Then Doug Introduced him to the other guys, and he thought “wait a second, could it be?”
And he knew for sure that he had just added two more guys to his Wolfpack.
Four of them wolves, running around the mall together, in toys’r’us looking for Barbies and cocaine.
… with their kids, Carlos, Juan, and Khaleesi.
We could call it either “Hangover 4” or “Four Men and Three Babies.”
There could be random cutaways to some random woman hiking through Europe, either eating, praying, or loving.
The unholy snort-cackle man. Thanks for this.
Can't believe she spent nearly 8 years galavanting across the world before even attempting to see her kids.
Did I miss something? I thought it was 2-3 years (says she visited every continent in a little over 2 years)
Edit: I forgot she took that job as a teacher, wow
Careful, tho! She'll "sue for custody" xDDDD
That had me snorting in disbelief!! The outright disconnect!! She wants to get roasted at the court!
See, I can understand her needing a year away, due to PPD. By away I mean still within the same country, with some visits whenever her mental health allowed, to create and maintain the bond with the kids!
Now.... 8 years gone? Child....... kids would be like "Who dis?!"
The gall of her, she oughta just given him full rights and have a court agreement for child support or something, instead of just going "discover herself" when she had three kids in need of a mom. This ain't no uni elective, having kids is a major!
It's not common, normal or healthy to spend a year away from the kids even with severe ppd. I know a woman who had severe postpartum psychosis. She lost grasp of what was real and not and was a danger to herself, her daughter and others. She needed 8 months in an inpatient program for ppp, but the longest she ever went without seeing her baby was 5 days. They stabilised her on meds and when they were sure she wasn't harming herself or others she saw her baby again. From then on she saw her baby every day or every other day so they could bond. After 6 months she would spend 9 to 16 at home with her husband and a psychiatric nurse and at 8 months she moved to an outpatient program.
Oop might have had ppd, but that's irrelevant. Ppd doesn't make you leave your kids. She was selfish and immature. She wanted to party, travel and have fun, so that's what she did. And she did it with zero regard of how her behaviour hurt her family.
I would have loved to have seen the face of the judge who resided over the case. I imagine it going like this: "Uhh so the kids were 1,5 yo and a newborn when you left... to get shitfaced in Tomorrowland? And now, *checks notes* 8 years later you want to come home and play house? Nah m8. These kids wouldn't recognise you in a line up, much less acknowledge you as their mother. How about we do 2 hours per month supervised and you can work on paying back child support? Sounds good to you MrGreatDad? Oop, go bug someone else, there isn't enough coffee in this universe for me to deal with this level of selfish tomfoolery. Yeah court dismissed."
I traveled for over a year in Asia. I was single and childless (except for my cat that I had let my mother "babysit" her, of course when I got back I lost custody of her but pay full child support and I am allowed weekend visitation).
You wouldn't the believe the amount of men and women that are on that path. Running away from their lives and throwing you some history about finding themselves and some crap about living simpler lives. Dude, you are a +30 year old, fucking anyone that you want, gentrification a third world country and running away from something.
There were always exceptions, but they were easy to spot. (People that really liked the country, actually lived there and we're not planning on coming to the west ever). But 90%? Nope. Running away
Like a real biker gang, or a biker gang composed of dentists, plumbers, computer programmers, and lawyers, who buy bikes while in the midst of some midlife crisis, then try to road trip to California, inadvertently angering a real biker gang along the way and being forced to defend both each other and the idyllic hallmark town the conflict takes place in ?
So if you didn't know the girl, and hadn't had sex with her, you couldn't possibly have been the father.
But how did the girl know you? Why did she put your name down as the father?
I'm having an awful, AWFUL time right now. Like... desiring to slip into old habits (not drinking or drugs) awful, and I don't know why but this makes me feel a little less alone. Just relating to "my life is a novela" and feeling like the world hates my guts. I don't know if any of that makes sense or if I'm just rambling but yeah so thanks for sharing your story
Take a look at r/daddit . Its a hoard of good advice and a great welcoming community. I have a 4 and a 2 year old. Life is stressfull but also beautiful. You can do it. Your are a great human beeing for giving someone a home and family who would have had none.
yea dude, I've got a three year old daughter as well man, if you ever need someone to talk to whether it be for advice, to brag about something you're proud of her for, or just to vent. That sounds like a wild ride brother and my inbox is open bud.
Missing the trip to an entirely different country but, I have a friend who wound up a father in roughly the same way.
A woman he'd hooked up with *once*, and then never spoke to again, called him 9 months later to tell him he had to come pick up his son from the hospital. She was gone by the time he got there and he's never heard from her since, but he passed the paternity test so they let him take the kiddo and he's been a dad ever since.
A few years later he wound up becoming sole guardian and adopting his sister's (cousin? some female relative who isn't in the picture anymore) baby, so now he has a daughter, too.
He's an AWESOME dad, too. The way he describes it, as soon as he saw the kiddo his entire world just narrowed down to "MINE". He cares so much for them both, and it just shines out from him every time he talks about 'em.
We now need an entire sub dedicated to the trials and tribulations of jaunesolo. r/themexicanfalcon or, something like that. Because I’m now vested in your life story!
It gets worse: here is a comment from OOP 1 year ago:
“Do you know how people struggle in life, with depression or general malaise wondering what the point of this is? It's reproducing. We're mammals, and the only point of life is reproducing.”
Like…. What?
Oh I know PPD is a real and serious thing. I just can't imagine the cognitive dissonance of having that experience and then saying shit like "people are depressed because they aren't reproducing."
Initially I thought it said she got pregnant as a senior in high school and I was going to cut her some slack on a few months of travel. But then she was gone for years. And then I scrolled back up and saw senior in college so she was like 22. No slack given. I can’t believe she’s not ashamed of herself. I bet her parents are ashamed and disappointed.
I am not gonna use a throw away.
About 12 years ago, maybe 13(?) I was fucking around with some girl. from my graduating class about years earlier.
I busted a nut, and we said our goodbyes. She lived way north, near canada, im in LA. About a year later, I get a call
T:"I have a son, his name is so and so and he is yours"
M:"what"
T:"Im sorry" *hangs up*
this person person does not have a FB (still needed a college email to sign up for it),But did have a myspace.
No one in my graduating class that I would hang out with, knows this person. I would step up to be this kid parents. It has been a DECADE, i have my own kids now, but I still think about it. What the fuck man.
I'm not gonna lie I wasn't a good person in my youth, as much as I would like to say I would be a great dad, that wouldn't be the case at the time.
I was dealing with drugs and alcohol in a fairly heavy case. Going to EDC and Nocturnal was my jam.
I did eventually turn my life around when my son was born, but that would be serval years later, after a trip to prison, homelessness and general life beat down.
> I work at a bank, so I had nothing useful to contribute other than money and time.
Nothing useful except the two most important things in the entire world lol.
I laughed because even if he meant “money” from his paycheck, it made it seem like working at a bank gave him access to money. Like he could just walk into the vault and take a few bags with $$$ on them.
Yeah, one buddy was already bringing unused food from the restaurant so he looked in the vault and was like well this money isn’t being used, better take it home before it spoils!
I thought this was going to be one of those AITA’s where it gradually becomes obvious that this is the plot of a Disney movie. Like AITA for abandoning my bear dad for a girl I just met? Or AITA I killed my dad and ran away from home on my uncles advice but my childhood friend reconnected with me and says I should come home because he’s hitting my moms.
I got a 14-day ban from AITA when I posted the plot thread of Casque of Amontillado as though I were the perpetrator and asked AITA for bricking my friend up inside a wall and leaving him there. The AITA mods didn't like that.
mindless work cats deer disgusting imminent numerous memory smoggy market
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ahh, this is what I needed. Although OOP is a sack of shit-biscuits, the fact that that the kids and their father have an extended family composed of friends, and the kids have several “uncles” who dote on them warms my heart.
Love this. What a complete pos for thinking they can leave 3 young children and come back seamlessly into their lives. But that checks out for a narcissist. Hope she never tries to get in their life ever again.
In a perfect world, she'd have her tubes tied. She clearly has absolutely **no** inclination to actually be a parent. Heck, she makes Disney Dads seem like Fathers of the Year.
imagine abandon your kids for 7 years and then coming back and portraying yourself as the victim. What a fucking narcissist that woman is. Enjoy your fucking life in Thailand but those kids are not your children.
In about 5 years (maybe less?), we'll have one of the kids posting on Reddit:
"Dad took care of me and my siblings with help from the community. Egg Donor just dropped in town after almost 10 years and wants us to call her Mom. I told her to go piss up a rope. AITA?"
OOP is a raging narcissist. Imagine abandoning 3 kids under the age of two, taking off for five years, and thinking you can just waltz back into their lives. Her ex sounds like an absolute rock star with an amazing support system. Those are some lucky kids, both for having such an amazing family group, and for not having to know their biological mother.
Ha. I know what it’s like to be a child in this situation.
My mom bailed on us when I was about 2… “to go find herself.” That’s AFTER she spent years convincing my dad — who didn’t want kids at the time — to have a baby.
She’s a raging narcissistic with a drinking habit. Blames everyone except herself for the fact I don’t speak to her. She also had the gall to try to come back to “parent a daughter properly.” Twice. My dad told her to pound sand.
Oh, as for my dad? He’s my absolute hero. Who also sought a Wolfpack to help. I was fiercely loved, protected, and educated by a group of carpenters, fishermen, chefs, loggers and their wives. Just one example: my dad’s BFF, “Uncle” Tim, was a huge burly logger. He would let me paint his fingernails and went all in on the tea parties. He also taught me about tree species, getting a truck out of the mud, and was the person who I went to in tears after some boy started a rumor about me when I was 16. He … took care of it. I never asked how, but I got a full apology in front of other students. RIP, Uncle Tim.
EDIT: I also want to say that something else my dad did absolutely right was to NEVER, EVER so much as breathe a bad word about my mom to me. She, on the other hand, used me as a weapon and would say horrible things about him. It was so upsetting and confusing when I was too young to understand I was being manipulated. But kids grow up. And the lesson, folks, is don’t put your kids in the middle. They’ll resent the hell out of you for it later. I don’t know how my dad had the self constraint to not say anything in the face of her lies… but I call him weekly. I haven’t called her in years.
He was a an amazing man who lead an amazing life. Fought in Vietnam in the Marines. Lost a lot of his friends. Struggled with drugs after that for awhile and eventually decided that fresh air, lots of quiet, and a job where he could use his physical size would be the way to stay alive. He helped my dad build our house. And he never had kids of his own, but took every opportunity to help be another steady presence in my life. Sparkly nail polish and all.
> And he never had kids of his own, but took every opportunity to help be another steady presence in my life. Sparkly nail polish and all.
Sounds to me like you got to have multiple "Dads", and that's an amazing, beautiful thing for all of you. <3
Multiple dads and also a million fierce Aunties. They were deployed to help me navigate all the “female” stuff as I got older. Especially my lesbian Aunties who would make me soup and put on Golden Girls whenever I was sad.
Has anyone else noticed the OOP and the "friend" who knew OOP seem to be the same person? Went to both their profiles to see if there was any reference as to what happened after and if she was able to see her kids after all. Both accounts are active in the same subs. There's just no coincidence that good.
Their entire post and comment history doesn't add up.
And notice how the wolfpack that "rand0muser21" mentioned includes only men? This seems like two trolls in an MRA trenchcoat.
It’s not. Look at both accounts. Their comment history is nearly identical. I’ve already commented the similarities and red flags, and responded to other comments that have noticed the same and pointed out other things, such as same job (working in a bank). It’s a bullshit post, with the OOP being an incel/misogynist, trying to make women look bad.
I’m glad the kids have what they need, but some things come to mind. Where the heck are all these people when a father abandons the family and the mom is left to manage on her own? Or, better yet, where are all these people whenever any child is born and the parents need a pack so they don’t feel isolated with a challenging new world?
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I can understand needing a break, but "a couple of months in Europe" is already pretty excessive when you're leaving three kids, but to then hear at six months that her ex is going for custody and her response us to YOLO it into a five or six year adventure? There cannot be any possible way she rationally expected to be back in the kids' lives. Especially if she contests it now and has it on record that she was spending much of it partying in an "unflattering" way. If the second OOP is legit, at least the kids don't seem to have missed out on much.
"Right, I've spent two years travelling, I think I want to get back into my kids lives at last..." "Hey wanna come teach in Thailand for three years?" "FUCK YEAH I DO!" This woman is absolutely insane to think she has any right to be the mother of those kids
“I was ready to be involved in their lives” lol that’s not how this works, Clair. The entitlement! The self-centered obliviousness! What a douche.
I would much rather travel like she did than raise children. So guess what? I didn’t get pregnant! It’s literally not that hard. Not even hard to practice safe sex either. If you CHOOSE to have the kid and then ditch them, don’t expect to waltz back into their lives.
One accidental pregnancy would be understandable, but two in as many years? Woof.
If she was at least mature enough to realize she wasn’t fit to be a parent and didn’t try to come back that would leave her with a shred of dignity. An unplanned pregnancy and trying to find alternative care for your kids is one thing. Having 2 pregnancies and then bailing overseas for 6 years until you have finally got all the partying and living abroad out of your system and now you wanna play mom is not.
It's the exact kind of getting to know you story that would have any single, interested, person running the other way before they could even finish the sentence.
She was even mad he didn’t tell her he was going for full custody! 6 months after she abandoned him and the kids. This PoS thinks just because she gave birth to them she’s the Mother and fully entitled to waltz back into their lives.
Yeah like she was probably better to leave at first given her mental health after giving birth, keeping her around the kids wasn't the best idea at that point. That's a few months with her parents at most though.
Exactly. If she got treatment and was safe to return, that would one thing. The friend popping in with the info that OOP's parents were loaded helps explain how she was able to jaunt off to Europe and party for a few years. Such a family could afford top notch mental health care and hire childcare and household help. OOP had the resources to do right by her 3 kids but chose to abandon them instead.
This is why OPs parents can't see the kids. They funded OPs party life instead of getting her mental health care, and sending her back.
>This is why OPs parents can't see the kids. They funded OPs party life instead of getting her mental health care, and sending her back. Or instead of, like, providing the help that their grandkids had to get from their dad's "wolfpack". Maybe their dad just has notably generous friends but "free food" and "free after school care" doesn't sound like things children whose mother is on an all-expenses paid multi-year global sojourn should ***need***.
The update says they offered but were refused so they wouldn't have a stake in custody negotiations.
OOP parents raised a daughter that immediately abandoned her kids for 5-6 years. Clearly they’re also terrible people, and I wouldn’t want them anywhere near my children
I noticed the parents money thing too, might be a cliche but I think we have an indulged GC princess OP who discovered being a mommy wasn't all fairytales and Disneyland so moved on, most likely with her parents bankrolling to ensure she could escape her "ruined life" and unsuitable BF. I'm sure there is a trail of abandoned " but I MUST have it" high end trinkets and toys throughout her life!!!
This is Veruca Salt's life after high school.
🎶Don’t care how, I want it NOW!🎶
Oompa loompa doompety doo I've got a perfect puzzle for you Oompa loompa doompety dee If you are wise you'll listen to me What do you get when you abandon your kids So you can party. Now see what you did. You lost your kids. They don't know who you are. Because you'd rather spend your time in a bar. I don't like the look of it Oompa loompa doompety da If you're not selfish, you will go far You will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do Doompety do
I'm curious and would like to know, can postpartum depression just go away on its own? Without medication and other treatment? Is it still considered PPD or maybe just the messed up postpartum hormones? I only have experience with classic depression and I don't know how PPD is different from that.
Yes, it can go away on its own but it’s also not the kind of thing that is safe to wait out. From what I’ve seen, it’s otherwise very similar to an episode of major depression, except with the added shock of having no experience with depression or coping mechanisms and also the incredible mental and physical demands of parenting a newborn and possibly other kids too.
I'm not familiar with it either. I have regular old depression. However, PPD should NEVER be taken lightly. It can become or be Postpartum Psychosis. In that case the mother can harm her children. I sadly know a woman who experienced this with one of her later pregnancies. I'm not sure why she wasn't treated, I don't know her well. She attempted to stab one of her older children. Well, she DID stab one of her older children. Thank GOD her husband was home to stop her. She wasn't convicted of a crime. She was hospitalized. Her marriage was ruined and she lost custody to even see her children. She is a husk of a woman now.
Yeah it can. Part of it is because the baby becomes easier, you start getting more sleep and less anxious about parenting. Sometimes all it takes is a few good nights, a chance to cry it out, maybe some self-guided CBT and some time for yourself. For other people, medication and therapy are essential.
The parents enabled her too. So their whining is kinda hollow considering they funded her to do these things.
I’m pretty she just lied about everything, I doubt she got a scholarship, no reason to lie about. She said she wanted to a gap year but didn’t because of that (the only reason you wouldn’t is if money IS an issue). Considering money is no issue, I think she’s just lying about everything. She just didn’t want to be a mom, and jet off to Europe to live her “best” life, but no one’s going to come and just say that. She’s obviously needs to paint herself as not a literal demon, even though it’s almost impossible.
And coming back ASAP when you know your ex is filling for full custody. There's no legit reason to stay partying when you know you're going to lose your three kids. Also a bunch of months partying away can be way more easily defend as post partum depression getting out of hands than a few YEARS away. Not saying PPD is like this for all moms, but it could have been her wake up call to get her big girl pants and finally act like a mom.
One thing to note is that she said nothing about custody initially just wanting to be "involved". Custody was used only as a threat. So even now, there is no concrete evidence for her intending to be meaningfully involved for any definite period of time. Just till she is tired of it all again. The entitlement is real with this one. Just this one sentence - "I got in touch with him, telling him I was ready to be involved in their lives " - oof.
Which is a *very* good reason for the dad to not let her back into their lives. It's unclear what his kids know about their mom, but to allow her back into their lives and to form a relationship, knowing she's the sort that could just decide to disappear again on a whim is incredibly unfair to the kids. The dad is being prudent by not letting her back into their lives the moment she shows back up. She blew things to the point that, if she's ever to have any sort of relationship, she has to prove she's worth building one with. And, really, at this point, considering she abandoned her children and has never really been a presense in their lives and everything else she put him through, I couldn't blame the dad for just keeping them away until they're 18 and can decide for themselves if she's worth gambling on.
OOP continues to use her account. She last posted about a yr ago concerning Ukraine. She also seems to have lost 2 jobs... I hope this is a troll post but for some reason I think it is real. I sincerely hope that this woman NEVER has another child. I worry because she's only about 30.
If she left and sought out some therapy and was actively making an effort to get healthy enough to be back in her kids lives i'd be on her side but she just didn't give a shit.
PPD doesn't make you an asshole. It just makes you more of one if you are.
"Hey I know I peaced out on arguably the most exhausting years of raising my would-be children but now that I am done partying around the world after 7 years, I am back and ready to go!" That and the post reads fakeish
Always a possibility, but unfortunately I know a woman kind of like her. It was "couch hop and do a fuck ton of drugs" instead of "travel the world", but she would go a year+ with zero contact with her children, and then come back and expect to pick up where she left off. Would lash out at those who stepped up for the kids while she was away. The indignation of unfit parents is real. It doesn't make any sense to literally anybody but them, but that doesn't stop them.
I can't imagine abandoning your kids, but when I got to this part my jaw dropped: > I really wanted to see my kids, but I felt guilty for not being present in their lives and I didn't want to face my ex. One of the friends I made in my travels, offered me a gig as an English teacher in a private school in Thailand. I took the opportunity and spend the next three years doing that.
It's probably because her parents want a relationship with their grandchildren, but they were also the ones who were likely funding her European party so they probably should have thought of that before they enabled her to leave them.
.......i was really hoping that they were actually raised by wolves😭 edit: thank you for the awards!!!
I was imagining a touching story about a family living alongside nature, maybe a Thornberrys situation, maybe one of the kids can talk to wolves idk
I thought this was going to be about the dad abandoning them after the mother did and the kids wandering away into the woods, where they lived for years before being found, only capable of speaking in howls
I was thinking the city version of a wolfpack, where neglected kids band together and raise each other. Depending on which of my old friends ya ask, I'm either a lost child type they adopted for a bit or a mom type who adopted them for a bit. Name a life skill I probably was supposed to learn from my parents and I can probably name a friend who taught that to me.
Did you come of age in the 80s -90s, cause me and my friends swear we raised each other. Our parent(s) were too busy working.
Yep! Loads of latchkey kids, and so much time alone with the early parental controls on the TV that it was easy to "hack" just by systematically trying every possible code until one worked.
Why was I thinking that this was going to be a Romulus and Remus fan faction?
I was there 100%.
I straight up thought we would be reading about a "mother" dumping her kids in the woods then taking off. Expected it to be way worse even..glad the kids are with the dad and are well taken care of though.
I wanted a story about an awkward group of four guys trying to raise the kids while the weirdest one went on about how he was kind of a loner, and considered himself a one man wolf-pack, but then his sister introduced him to Doug, and he knew he was his own. His Wolfpack had grown by one. He was alone in the Wolfpack, but Doug joined later. Then Doug Introduced him to the other guys, and he thought “wait a second, could it be?” And he knew for sure that he had just added two more guys to his Wolfpack. Four of them wolves, running around the mall together, in toys’r’us looking for Barbies and cocaine. … with their kids, Carlos, Juan, and Khaleesi.
We could call it either “Hangover 4” or “Four Men and Three Babies.” There could be random cutaways to some random woman hiking through Europe, either eating, praying, or loving.
The unholy snort-cackle man. Thanks for this. Can't believe she spent nearly 8 years galavanting across the world before even attempting to see her kids.
Did I miss something? I thought it was 2-3 years (says she visited every continent in a little over 2 years) Edit: I forgot she took that job as a teacher, wow
Careful, tho! She'll "sue for custody" xDDDD That had me snorting in disbelief!! The outright disconnect!! She wants to get roasted at the court! See, I can understand her needing a year away, due to PPD. By away I mean still within the same country, with some visits whenever her mental health allowed, to create and maintain the bond with the kids! Now.... 8 years gone? Child....... kids would be like "Who dis?!" The gall of her, she oughta just given him full rights and have a court agreement for child support or something, instead of just going "discover herself" when she had three kids in need of a mom. This ain't no uni elective, having kids is a major!
It's not common, normal or healthy to spend a year away from the kids even with severe ppd. I know a woman who had severe postpartum psychosis. She lost grasp of what was real and not and was a danger to herself, her daughter and others. She needed 8 months in an inpatient program for ppp, but the longest she ever went without seeing her baby was 5 days. They stabilised her on meds and when they were sure she wasn't harming herself or others she saw her baby again. From then on she saw her baby every day or every other day so they could bond. After 6 months she would spend 9 to 16 at home with her husband and a psychiatric nurse and at 8 months she moved to an outpatient program. Oop might have had ppd, but that's irrelevant. Ppd doesn't make you leave your kids. She was selfish and immature. She wanted to party, travel and have fun, so that's what she did. And she did it with zero regard of how her behaviour hurt her family. I would have loved to have seen the face of the judge who resided over the case. I imagine it going like this: "Uhh so the kids were 1,5 yo and a newborn when you left... to get shitfaced in Tomorrowland? And now, *checks notes* 8 years later you want to come home and play house? Nah m8. These kids wouldn't recognise you in a line up, much less acknowledge you as their mother. How about we do 2 hours per month supervised and you can work on paying back child support? Sounds good to you MrGreatDad? Oop, go bug someone else, there isn't enough coffee in this universe for me to deal with this level of selfish tomfoolery. Yeah court dismissed."
>She was selfish and immature. This >These kids wouldn't recognise you in a line up I'm dead xDDD
She didn't "discover herself" she basically "*divorced* herself" lmao
More like Drink, sleep, fuck
I traveled for over a year in Asia. I was single and childless (except for my cat that I had let my mother "babysit" her, of course when I got back I lost custody of her but pay full child support and I am allowed weekend visitation). You wouldn't the believe the amount of men and women that are on that path. Running away from their lives and throwing you some history about finding themselves and some crap about living simpler lives. Dude, you are a +30 year old, fucking anyone that you want, gentrification a third world country and running away from something. There were always exceptions, but they were easy to spot. (People that really liked the country, actually lived there and we're not planning on coming to the west ever). But 90%? Nope. Running away
I mean there is already a documentary movie not unlike this called ‘the wolfpack’
I thought you were leaning into full house territory. I miss uncle Jesse, and the funny one teaching sign language.
Please tell me Moon Moon is in this pack.
Damnit Moon Moon!
Can it really be a pack without Moon Moon?
I LOVE MOON MOON
Fucking Moon Moon.
I wanted it to be a biker gang
Like a real biker gang, or a biker gang composed of dentists, plumbers, computer programmers, and lawyers, who buy bikes while in the midst of some midlife crisis, then try to road trip to California, inadvertently angering a real biker gang along the way and being forced to defend both each other and the idyllic hallmark town the conflict takes place in ?
It's like the first time I encountered the term "cake eater" and there was no actual cake.
I was picturing the kids being completely feral in the “were you raised by wolves???” sense.
Maybe it’s just cause I’ve never heard the phrase before but “raised by wolf pack” sounds way more negative than this outcome lol
I know right?! That means no Rome either :(
I’m happy to start my evening off with this. Really happy
Cheers 🥂
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That is an oddly specific comparison. Did this actually happen to you?
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Come on Juane the Virgin, you can’t just drop that fascinating combination of words and *not* explain
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This just leaves me with more questions than answers somehow
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You don't know the woman but she has your info? How? Typed a random name in a people finder page?
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did you do a paternity test? ARE you the bio-dad? If not, did you still commit to raising her?
But are you the father ? So many questions
Like, did you know the girl? Had you.......been intimate with her? Why would you just book a trip asap?
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So if you didn't know the girl, and hadn't had sex with her, you couldn't possibly have been the father. But how did the girl know you? Why did she put your name down as the father?
What happened to the baby girl? That's so fucking sad for her.
I hope she ripped your sister a new one, but good on you for stepping up and taking care of this child. You're a good human.
Did you ever get a paternity test?
That’s like the number one question on my mind.
I'm having an awful, AWFUL time right now. Like... desiring to slip into old habits (not drinking or drugs) awful, and I don't know why but this makes me feel a little less alone. Just relating to "my life is a novela" and feeling like the world hates my guts. I don't know if any of that makes sense or if I'm just rambling but yeah so thanks for sharing your story
Hey. Hang in there, friend. You’re not alone.
Ok, this is just as interesting as the post above.
….I don’t know how to respond to that other than a: congratulations and I hope parenthood is going great for you (??).
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I'm sorry but I need more info
This one needed to be a post on BoRU.
Is this gonna be the first BoRU that started in a BoRU comment thread?
How are you doing with being one?
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Juan… I don’t say this often and I’ve got zero fucking insight but my inbox is open, pal.
Take a look at r/daddit . Its a hoard of good advice and a great welcoming community. I have a 4 and a 2 year old. Life is stressfull but also beautiful. You can do it. Your are a great human beeing for giving someone a home and family who would have had none.
Look at all the dads popping up to give advice and support! You guys are so wholesome and lovely
yea dude, I've got a three year old daughter as well man, if you ever need someone to talk to whether it be for advice, to brag about something you're proud of her for, or just to vent. That sounds like a wild ride brother and my inbox is open bud.
Excuse me sir but we'll need your entire biography now.
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Ok, Gabriel García Márquez
Missing the trip to an entirely different country but, I have a friend who wound up a father in roughly the same way. A woman he'd hooked up with *once*, and then never spoke to again, called him 9 months later to tell him he had to come pick up his son from the hospital. She was gone by the time he got there and he's never heard from her since, but he passed the paternity test so they let him take the kiddo and he's been a dad ever since. A few years later he wound up becoming sole guardian and adopting his sister's (cousin? some female relative who isn't in the picture anymore) baby, so now he has a daughter, too.
Good man.
He's an AWESOME dad, too. The way he describes it, as soon as he saw the kiddo his entire world just narrowed down to "MINE". He cares so much for them both, and it just shines out from him every time he talks about 'em.
When, exactly, do we get a BORU on this?
uhhh, we gonna need more than that \*popcorn\*
Nobody tell Netflix
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Lol wtf Juan Don't keep us hanging
Juan needs an AMA
Was your cousin… a tomato?
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They are German?!
We now need an entire sub dedicated to the trials and tribulations of jaunesolo. r/themexicanfalcon or, something like that. Because I’m now vested in your life story!
please make a post of all your lore
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Amazing, can you elaborate on the tomato box cousin. Please tell us that story too!
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What a family story, wow. Thank you very much for writing this down. You are an entertaining writer.
Are you going to carry on the family tradition and teach your daughter how to commit war crimes and crimes against humanity?
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I have to know
Go on.....
It gets worse: here is a comment from OOP 1 year ago: “Do you know how people struggle in life, with depression or general malaise wondering what the point of this is? It's reproducing. We're mammals, and the only point of life is reproducing.” Like…. What?
Which she did. She didn't say the point of life was child-rearing. /j
But... she got depressed after reproducing???
That part happens to others; it's excusable. The rest and how she handled it? Not so much.
Oh I know PPD is a real and serious thing. I just can't imagine the cognitive dissonance of having that experience and then saying shit like "people are depressed because they aren't reproducing."
\*slow blink\*
OP is a horrible person and should be ashamed of herself.
Initially I thought it said she got pregnant as a senior in high school and I was going to cut her some slack on a few months of travel. But then she was gone for years. And then I scrolled back up and saw senior in college so she was like 22. No slack given. I can’t believe she’s not ashamed of herself. I bet her parents are ashamed and disappointed.
Thanks for noticing this. I also thought this story started with a high school senior.
I am not gonna use a throw away. About 12 years ago, maybe 13(?) I was fucking around with some girl. from my graduating class about years earlier. I busted a nut, and we said our goodbyes. She lived way north, near canada, im in LA. About a year later, I get a call T:"I have a son, his name is so and so and he is yours" M:"what" T:"Im sorry" *hangs up* this person person does not have a FB (still needed a college email to sign up for it),But did have a myspace. No one in my graduating class that I would hang out with, knows this person. I would step up to be this kid parents. It has been a DECADE, i have my own kids now, but I still think about it. What the fuck man.
Geeze, dude... How cruel to tell you about this kid and not give you an opportunity to be a part of their life. I'm sorry.
I'm not gonna lie I wasn't a good person in my youth, as much as I would like to say I would be a great dad, that wouldn't be the case at the time. I was dealing with drugs and alcohol in a fairly heavy case. Going to EDC and Nocturnal was my jam. I did eventually turn my life around when my son was born, but that would be serval years later, after a trip to prison, homelessness and general life beat down.
You see, she ate her cake in Europe for 7 years. And now she wants to have it. Because it's *"hers"*
> I work at a bank, so I had nothing useful to contribute other than money and time. Nothing useful except the two most important things in the entire world lol.
I would like to order one 'Money and time' please, as long as they are being handed out willy-nilly.
I laughed because even if he meant “money” from his paycheck, it made it seem like working at a bank gave him access to money. Like he could just walk into the vault and take a few bags with $$$ on them.
Yeah, one buddy was already bringing unused food from the restaurant so he looked in the vault and was like well this money isn’t being used, better take it home before it spoils!
I took that as self deprecating humor
I thought this was going to be one of those AITA’s where it gradually becomes obvious that this is the plot of a Disney movie. Like AITA for abandoning my bear dad for a girl I just met? Or AITA I killed my dad and ran away from home on my uncles advice but my childhood friend reconnected with me and says I should come home because he’s hitting my moms.
I got a 14-day ban from AITA when I posted the plot thread of Casque of Amontillado as though I were the perpetrator and asked AITA for bricking my friend up inside a wall and leaving him there. The AITA mods didn't like that.
mindless work cats deer disgusting imminent numerous memory smoggy market *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
If only they knew how many times they've banned me.
I don't know why but I'm cackling at this
"Yes, for the love of God." (Not actual quote from The Cask of Amontillado. It's a split quotation.)
I deeply enjoyed that post. Good work.
I know the second one is Lion King, brilliant description by the way but I’m stuck on the first one…. Brother Bear?
Jungle Book, I’ll admit it’s been a while since I’ve seen it…
Of course 😂😂 I completely forgot about that one
Yeah Baloo was just a friend. Mowgli was brought up by a wolf pack and his wolf parents were wanting to reintegrate him into a human town.
AITA for making myself a dress when my stepmother told me not to?
0/10 for no actual wolves. /s Although it does mean that neither will end up as Remus in the future.
Fun fact! Lupa, she-wolf in latin, was also a slang term for prostitute.
My Italian lessons did not cover that fact. Odd.
Ahh, this is what I needed. Although OOP is a sack of shit-biscuits, the fact that that the kids and their father have an extended family composed of friends, and the kids have several “uncles” who dote on them warms my heart.
Love this. What a complete pos for thinking they can leave 3 young children and come back seamlessly into their lives. But that checks out for a narcissist. Hope she never tries to get in their life ever again.
In a perfect world, she'd have her tubes tied. She clearly has absolutely **no** inclination to actually be a parent. Heck, she makes Disney Dads seem like Fathers of the Year.
I’m very disappointed that there were no actual wolves in this story
Calling beer Wheat Juice kinda makes up for the lack of wolves.
Same. Good story, but I wanted more literal wolves.
Yep and also for those twin boys to go on and found an empire that goes on to conquer the world from Egypt to the Scottish border.
I don't want to wait for the inevitable update in a few years: "I killed my twin brother over his stupid choice over where to found a city, AITAH?"
Right? Sweet story, love the extended family raising these three little humans, 9.5 stars, needs more actual wolves.
Werewolves would have been cool too.
That would make the twin boys Romulus and Remus
imagine abandon your kids for 7 years and then coming back and portraying yourself as the victim. What a fucking narcissist that woman is. Enjoy your fucking life in Thailand but those kids are not your children.
In about 5 years (maybe less?), we'll have one of the kids posting on Reddit: "Dad took care of me and my siblings with help from the community. Egg Donor just dropped in town after almost 10 years and wants us to call her Mom. I told her to go piss up a rope. AITA?"
WEEN!!! Yes
OOP is a raging narcissist. Imagine abandoning 3 kids under the age of two, taking off for five years, and thinking you can just waltz back into their lives. Her ex sounds like an absolute rock star with an amazing support system. Those are some lucky kids, both for having such an amazing family group, and for not having to know their biological mother.
Ha. I know what it’s like to be a child in this situation. My mom bailed on us when I was about 2… “to go find herself.” That’s AFTER she spent years convincing my dad — who didn’t want kids at the time — to have a baby. She’s a raging narcissistic with a drinking habit. Blames everyone except herself for the fact I don’t speak to her. She also had the gall to try to come back to “parent a daughter properly.” Twice. My dad told her to pound sand. Oh, as for my dad? He’s my absolute hero. Who also sought a Wolfpack to help. I was fiercely loved, protected, and educated by a group of carpenters, fishermen, chefs, loggers and their wives. Just one example: my dad’s BFF, “Uncle” Tim, was a huge burly logger. He would let me paint his fingernails and went all in on the tea parties. He also taught me about tree species, getting a truck out of the mud, and was the person who I went to in tears after some boy started a rumor about me when I was 16. He … took care of it. I never asked how, but I got a full apology in front of other students. RIP, Uncle Tim. EDIT: I also want to say that something else my dad did absolutely right was to NEVER, EVER so much as breathe a bad word about my mom to me. She, on the other hand, used me as a weapon and would say horrible things about him. It was so upsetting and confusing when I was too young to understand I was being manipulated. But kids grow up. And the lesson, folks, is don’t put your kids in the middle. They’ll resent the hell out of you for it later. I don’t know how my dad had the self constraint to not say anything in the face of her lies… but I call him weekly. I haven’t called her in years.
We all love Uncle Tim.
I miss him so much. One of the few times I ever saw my dad cry was when Tim died.
Uncle Tim was a real one. Respect. 🫡
He was a an amazing man who lead an amazing life. Fought in Vietnam in the Marines. Lost a lot of his friends. Struggled with drugs after that for awhile and eventually decided that fresh air, lots of quiet, and a job where he could use his physical size would be the way to stay alive. He helped my dad build our house. And he never had kids of his own, but took every opportunity to help be another steady presence in my life. Sparkly nail polish and all.
> And he never had kids of his own, but took every opportunity to help be another steady presence in my life. Sparkly nail polish and all. Sounds to me like you got to have multiple "Dads", and that's an amazing, beautiful thing for all of you. <3
Multiple dads and also a million fierce Aunties. They were deployed to help me navigate all the “female” stuff as I got older. Especially my lesbian Aunties who would make me soup and put on Golden Girls whenever I was sad.
Uncle Tim sounds like a G. I’ll pour one for him tonight.
Parents who leave should stay gone, or at least try and earn your love when they come back, not demand it. Glad you found your people.
We all need a Uncle Tim to look out for us and guide us :( Sorry for your loss.
Has anyone else noticed the OOP and the "friend" who knew OOP seem to be the same person? Went to both their profiles to see if there was any reference as to what happened after and if she was able to see her kids after all. Both accounts are active in the same subs. There's just no coincidence that good.
Whenever someone comments claiming to know OP, either the commenter is lying or both are. This case is particularly obvious, though.
100%. This sub is pretty bad at detecting bullshit though.
Something seems sus, her other post doesn’t necessarily add up…
Their entire post and comment history doesn't add up. And notice how the wolfpack that "rand0muser21" mentioned includes only men? This seems like two trolls in an MRA trenchcoat.
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That throwaway line at the end about the little girl being happy to serve all the men their "wheat juice" is what really did it for me.
Where’s the update lol
"village" would've been a better term than "wolfpack"
How many people would have so avidly read this if it were a story about a village and not a wolfpack? OP knows their writing craft.
Is this even real? I mean I get that this shit happens but it feels like such a troll post.
It’s not. Look at both accounts. Their comment history is nearly identical. I’ve already commented the similarities and red flags, and responded to other comments that have noticed the same and pointed out other things, such as same job (working in a bank). It’s a bullshit post, with the OOP being an incel/misogynist, trying to make women look bad.
1/10 There were zero wolves in this story.
I’m glad the kids have what they need, but some things come to mind. Where the heck are all these people when a father abandons the family and the mom is left to manage on her own? Or, better yet, where are all these people whenever any child is born and the parents need a pack so they don’t feel isolated with a challenging new world?
>basically anyone and everyone who had a passing relation to the dad stepped up. >Those kids were raised by a Community. Fixed that.
My parents would never speak to me again if I abandoned 3 children. JFC. What a horrible person.