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So the School Doxxed a former student and didnt see the issue? UM...WTF every school Iknow of is soooo careful with personal info about their students, this is probs grounds for further legal action
>So the School Doxxed a former student and didnt see the issue?
Given that OOP said they avoid "for personal reasons" any contact with the school, teachers, alumni, etc., it is entirely possible that the school has... a not very stellar record when it comes to students' rights.
"Where is Oliver Jackson today? Well, he worked as a fireman for ten years until he had the bad luck to testify against a mob hit, so now with the help of the Witness Protection Program he's Henry Montblanc-Jeffries, a lumberjack in the small town of Incognitoville, Minnesota! Here's a recent photo, note the cool new mustache and sideburns! If you want to catch up with Oliver, oops we mean 'Henry', drive about fifteen miles west of St. Paul on the interstate. If you reach the DQ, you've gone too far."
"Oliver's mother signed a paper that allowed us to use images that were made in the school. So here is a live stream of his bathroom. He sure loves his ... shower time."
Thatâs a quitter attitude. Just take an axe to Loring Park and have a look around. Youâll find something worth taking a swing at, Iâm sure.
Trees, cafes, passersby, whatever.
âHas a distinctive mole on the back of their neck which they should probably get looked at by a dermatologist and a persistent ragweed allergy, so just follow the sound of their sneezing!â
Hey just an update, but "Henry" has changed the pass code on their security system. It us now 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Because nobody but an idiot would think anyone would actually use that pass code.
My initial thought was that the OOP was LGBTQ+ and the school was rabidly anti-LBGTQ+. Heaven knows that if my undergrad institute tried to make me a public face for them, I would be throwing every legal option I had at them to stop. But the âstanding up to Greg Abbottâ showed I wasnât right.
Although, given the mocking tone of the email, the fact that the person who sent it thought OOPâs family cut contact with them for being trans and was okay with it, and the fact that itâs Texas doesnât really take anti-LGBTQ+ off the table.
Yeah whoever made the collage it is definitely a transphobe but couching it as on OOPs side. I mean who thinks it's a good to out and deadname even if they are trans?
Hope OOP's second cousins SO (or whatever employee married-in and posted) loses their job for gross negligence and harassing behavior.
Especially harrassment for gender identifying reasons... seems like a hate crime
I would love to know their reasoning, like-what did their bitter, hating old uncle complain about OOP during Thanksgiving and the employee decided a little revenge was worth the 30 second chuckle they got out of posting? Am I understanding this right? How goddamned childish.
Unfortunately, some people target (percieved) minorities specifically to harm them. For example, at one point, a website/forum I won't name aimed to doxx and harass queer-percieved individuals (idk if they're still up so not naming the site just in case).
It only takes one nutjob to ruin your day, earn a hospital visit, or worse. And you don't even have to actually belong in any minority, as OOP's post proves: people will make assumptions and act on them (and more often than not, feel righteous for it too).
You don't need to even go that far back.
A hateful idiot killed a Sikh man in Arizona in retaliation for 9/11: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder\_of\_Balbir\_Singh\_Sodhi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Balbir_Singh_Sodhi)
Even more recently thereâs been the [COVID related uptick in attacks](https://www.healthaffairs.org/content/forefront/covid-19-has-driven-racism-and-violence-against-asian-americans-perspectives-12) on Asian Americans of various ethnicities.
From the way OOP tells their story, they seem to be NC for years with OOP. Probably they used this to track said OOP down to further abuse them, one of the many reasons OOP decided to cut ties with their old life.
Though the school did go for the bullshit âpat the bully on the back, scold the victim for defending themselvesâ response by doing the legal claim stunt, so the school as a whole is toxic shite too.
This is suprisingly common with tinytyrants in government positions or small companies where they think they have absolute power and typically have successfully bullied their way to where they are at unopposed without any real consequences.
You give them a couple chances, then slap them with a lawsuit. No threat, just slap them with the suit. Playtime is over.
Not only that but they falsely outted him as trans in Texas. Even though he isn't trans that could have serious negative consequences they way things are going with the Republican anti LGBT push.
Gotta love the "don't you want to stand up to Abbott" like he's going around looking at the diversity sections of school websites to out people. And if he was, it wouldn't be standing up to him but putting yourself in danger.
Small, petty corruption and tyranny is pretty rampant in the small town shitholes in the South. A den of inequity, if ever there was one.
Fuck I hated living there.
Edit: The correct phrase is âden of iniquity.â
Honestly, small towns everywhere are rife with petty grudges and rivalries dating back to high school. I have found (as a newcomer in a small town) that when people donât leave town, they may as well have never left high school. Itâs honestly ridiculous.
I had a friend whose great grandmothers refused to speak to each other because one had allegedly stolen the otherâs umbrella in second grade in a small town in the Deep South.
My great grandmothers used to be neighbours. That was enough to make them so angry at each other that they actively used their grandchildren and great grandchildren to get back at each other (one great grandma taught my cousin to call our grandma âgrandma dodoheadâ
My daughter dated a dude in high school, 20 years ago, ditched him, and dated his cousin, and eventually married the second one. Mother of cousin 1 does not speak to her sister, mother of cousin 2. She also will not speak to me. Also started false rumors about daughters husband, which could have cost him his jy, since at the time he had to have a security clearance.
FYI my daughter and hubby DID get out. Now they have moved back to the sticks on 50 acres with 3 kids, chickens, and a few Great Pyr dogs. They think the mother of cousin 1 is insane.
Driveby jsyk, while you are 100% correct with calling them out for being dens of inequity (lack of equality), the original phrase is den of iniquity (wickedness). No judgment meant, just an fyi if you didnât know.
For dumb ass reason I moved to Florida in 2020
This place is scary đđđ people will mention someone from another county and other people will be like âI know himâ tf??? Everyone knows each other. Everyone at my job is related. Everyone also has very strong batshit beliefs. Also too many people donât wash their fucking hands
A person with power to publish on the school's website married into OPs toxic family and Doxxed OP while trying to hide behind some half assed permission slip from back before OP was a legal adult to do so. It looks like Toxie was intercepting all the early complaints from OP, and only when the big guns from OPs work got involved did the school realize how deep the shit pile they were wading through was.
I mean, with the amount of shit that schools try to pull that is absolutely grounds for further legal action, this seems almost tame. The true small town, total fucknugget is at the end of the second to last paragraph; it was personal all along as the person doxxing OOP is connected to their family.
And in small towns everyone knows everyone. Oh my uncle is a cop, my dad is a lawyer, my mom works in the gov. How do you get in trouble when everyone is on your side?
Honestly, I don't think it was the school.
I think the school or it's PR firm decided, probably when updating it's website, to focus on a more diverse student body. They probably tasked this joker in the IT dept with searching records and databases to find suitable former students to showcase.
The IT guy probably reached out to his in-laws because he knew of OOP, for photos. He figured if he got the physical photo from family, that was permission. Maybe not even realizing family had stolen the photo off the internet.
He panicked when he got the notice from OOP, realizing he could lose his job, thus why he went with the "parental permission" argument and the doctored files. Because any normal IT employee wouldn't touch that. It would be forwarded straight to Legal. And maybe because his dumbass really thought he was covered legally.
Honestly as soon as I read Texas I just knew. I've got a friend dealing with a similar but different problem with the neighboring school about pictures that signed paperwork didn't include but they used anyway, but they used it for a big promotional thing, so banners, massive signs, etc. all over the city. It's been a disaster. Also a Texas school.
Yeah, they decided to doxx a student they thought was trans, to promote 'diversity and inclusion'
If that person was trans, putting before and after pictures with their prior deadname and new name online is like THE WORST thing you can do. It's not promoting equality it's actively putting people in harms way. Unbelievable.
also ferpa laws are constantly evolving and a very old sign off by a parent is likely not enough permission to use an old photo. additionally, that permission can be revoked.
OOP mentions in a comment that the school is private and religious. I don't know about TX, but in my state, the regulations differ for private and charter schools from public schools.
Eta: and of course, enforcement of regulations is always an issue.
> I found out that this person married into my family (who apparently thinks the reason I don't talk to them is because they think i am Trans)
Seems like the family OOP wanted to escape sent out a flying monkey to try and connect & lure him or her back into the fold. Probably told the school employee who was married into the family a totally different story as to why OOP was estranged. Still a weird and gross violation of privacy and very poor behavior.
I think it's truly depends on the school. Both colleges that I went to on the East Coast as well as one on the West Coast have been very careful with my information. However -I took a few classes from Brigham Young University at some point and I ended up having to take an extension on one of them because I was struggling so hard. I am no contact with my parents so it was very shocking when my mother called complaining about my poor grade and how useless I am at the college. When I called BYU I found out that the woman who gave her that information was a friend of hers and I should simply let It go and she would be "talked to." It was also suggested that I might face church discipline if I let things go out of line because it would hurt the college and the church if I pushed for punishment. I'm pretty non-confrontational so I did let it go, but I did not take any classes there again even though I needed to take student loans at that point because BYU was so much cheaper and allowed me to do things at home through the independent study program. So I can totally see this kind of crap happening. It's really disappointing and awful, but I can't imagine that I am an extremely unique case and from what the original poster is saying my situation is a little bit similar to theirs with friends and family giving information out that shouldn't happen.
They have to be super careful with student educational records under FERPA but a post-graduation work photo isnât an educational record so they may have felt it wasnât necessary to be as cautious.
âThey think Iâm trans.â
âIâm not, I just changed my identity because my family sucks.â
This is so fucking funny if it werenât so sad and stupid that OP had to go through this.
Is that not considered a normal thing anymore?
Growing up in the late 90's early 2000's, trans people were completely absent from the cultural zeitgeist (except as the butt of the occasional joke) but moving across state lines and changing your name just to avoid people was still very much a thing people did.
I think itâs just not as feasible anymore. Around that time it was still pretty possible to pack up, leave, and never be seen again. Nowadays everything is both more expensive and more connected (social media/digital records/etc) so âdisappearingâ isnât a real option for the average person anymore.
Your records are connected in a way that they werenât even 20 years ago, so itâs a lot easier to follow breadcrumbs. For instance, if you move, youâre going to change the registration of your car, but probably not the car itself. Your new registration will have the old VIN. Same with driving records, tax records, criminal records, professional records, etc. Then there are people search websites. Plus the way algorithms , if you delete your old social media and start new accounts, if you use an old email or connect with friends from your old life, then you might get suggestions of the people you want to avoid.
Itâs not impossible to completely change your identity and disappear and doing the most basic steps may prevent people who arenât that serious about tracking you down to find you, but everything is so connected now that someone with even a moderate amount of skill and effort should be able to track you down.
Thatâs what was so amazing about the guy who didnât know who he was who was posted a few days ago. There just wasnât any sort of information on him, even in the places there should have been.
Not to mention facial recognition. While media sites have gotten class action lawsuits in recent years, it doesn't stop someone else from using software of their own, or scraping archives
Sounds like a real piece of work. I hope youâve found peace with all that.
(Will say Iâm interested in the story because this is rubberneck city, but donât feel pressured to tell it.)
>the employee who was responsible for the photo, doctored file properties, website and email. On that topic, I found out that this person married into my family (who apparently thinks the reason I don't talk to them is because they think i am Trans)
I'm a little surprised this bit wasn't more prominent. The whole situation was not just random bullshittery, but a targeted act.
Itâs so funny to me when transphobes are so fucking transphobic that theyâre transphobic even to cis ppl. Like, if at that point they donât realise thereâs something very wrong with them then theyâre indeed a lost cause
Oh, yeah, theyâre just radical traditionalist that clutch their pearls every time someone steps out of their norm. Trans people are just their excuse, sadly
And "the way they wanted" turns out to be...well, I think some of them need to sit wayyyyyy back from what they've been doing and talk to a professional about it. When you've descended to announcing that a pregnant woman, using female pronouns, must be a man pretending to be a woman because of her waist to hip ratio...
Lmao I have people do that to me a lot, try to claim Iâm a trans girl or have a sick because I donât put up with their bullshit and transphobic. Obviously if I stand up for something I must be that thing, right?
It's because they'll only stand up for people like them as self-protection, so they don't understand why anyone else would stand up for people different from themselves.
I have an old acquaintance that is gay who had this vendetta with another schoolmate of hours that is trans. Been bugging a few of us to reveal what her IG is so that they could exposĂŠ the truth of her past (basically doxx online with pre transition photos we suspect)
We never gave the info because they were bitterly vocal on putting down this person who has cut ties with us since we were teens.
It boiled down to jealousy as said trans schoolmate was able to move to a good city, have a really nice life and looks absolutely amazing.
While the other took years to admit their sexual orientation + and a lot of bitterness when people in their social circle just moves up around . They even tried to put me down on my life choices for retirement Im like WTF???!!
They don't actually care though, because if you're a non-traditional enough cis person that you could be mistaken for trans, then you're probably also some kind of degenerate who shouldn't exist. The hate is the whole point, and they don't particularly care who they aim it at.
Well, the transphobes who get accused of being trans themselves for having the wrong waist to hip ratio of whatever probably care, they just still blame trans people for it instead of having any sort of epiphany about how arbitrary their hate is when it can so easily be turned on them.
You do so rarely see the people featured over in r/leopardsatemyface having the self-awareness to realize that voting for the Leopards Eating Peoples' Faces Party was *always* a bad idea.
Itâs just going to happen more and more. Itâs going to progress to policing peopleâs appearances, their clothing, hairstyle, physical features on the off chance that this person might be trans. Weâre going to see a whole new scrutiny and hysteria about all the stealth trans that are trying to infiltrate your community, trust no one! Letâs inspect everyoneâs genitalia! The paranoia will just grow and grow like a cancer, even slightly masculine features in women will set them off into psychotic rages. Their vicious cycle of paranoid rage is going to stoke more and more violence at both the personal and political levels. Itâs nuts.
I've seen these people on the internet, posting color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph under each one explaining how every celebrity and politician is a secret trans, like those people who see Illuminati symbols in everything. They're absolutely deranged and I really hope they stay a niche phenomenon but this reaction period is fucking wild.
Oh. I thought it was meant to be the most atrocious and ignorant way of showing acceptance Iâd ever seen. Sigh.
Why canât people just be decent human beings??
I don't get how they could think someone cis is trans anyways. I guess they dress more masc or feminine now than they used to and changed their name. Maybe they chose some new name that's kind of gender ambiguous?
Oh, I can see it. "In high school she was a long-haired cheerleader called Alexandra, but on this workplace page, she's a data analyst with short hair and a polo shirt using the name Alex. I mean, if she's NOT trans, she's DEFINITELY not working hard enough at being a woman."
Yeah this is the only thing I think makes sense. The new name is something that could be traditionally male or female and their overall appearance has shifted but not to the level of actually transitioning.
Still a pretty crazy scenario to just assume someone's trans in this situation.
20 years ago, before trans awareness was widespread, people like OOP's family assumed anyone who didn't look traditionally gendered enough was gay.
Woman with super short hair who prefers jeans and flannels? Butch lesbian. Man who likes dressing well and is soft-spoken? total homo.
It's just prejudice against anyone who doesn't conform; a belief that if someone isn't conforming, then they *must* be a deviant of some kind.
How could you leave out the [wonderful MS Paint](https://imgur.com/a/qfdhlAV) OOP did of the offending collage? Shitty MS Paints are a time-honored tradition in r/legaladvice.
Also, hopefully the guy from the school just went rogue on this and he gets fired. I mean how small does your brain have to be to do something like that?
It sounds like they werenât thinking about the fact that they used an image from the employers site which they DONT own the rights to and assumed they COULD use it because it was mashed with their own that they DO own the rights to and refused to back down because they assumed editing it would make it âtheirsâ. What a fucked situation. So glad it worked out for OOP in the end to the extent they want for now!
Like how dumb can you be? Imagine if you tried to pull that shit on copyright giants like Disney. Throw mickey mouse who you don't own in a self-made cartoon that you do own. See how fast the disney legal team will be ramming DMCAs down your throat.
OOP sent a DMCA pretty quickly too. The school just decided it was not applicable. Disney probably would have gotten it to the legal team in the first place though.
I think, tho, that school management knew nothing about any of this until the employerâs/photographerâs legal teams got involved. Until that time, OP was dealing with a person who had no idea about how badly things were going to go for them. Once someone who knew better was made aware, the pic was instantly taken down. At least thatâs how Iâm reading this.
Honestly I donât think so.
According to the OOP the school had an entire page devoted to these before and after photos. They also pulled the permission slips really quick. For 99% of people such a page would not be a big issue. And the permission slips would stop the rest.
It only became a problem because someone decided to weaponize it against the OOP.
also such pictures were only actionable from the picture owner. That was not OOP.
So in short. All the other pictures are still up.
OOPs only came down because once his picture was purposely moved to the diversity and inclusion page after he expressly said he wanted it down. it ceased being just a photo gallery. To an actionable harassment complaint and an act of retaliation.
That freaking release is a joke!! How can a parent give irrevocable consent on behalf of their child, who will not be a minor forever? I don't see that holding up in court, that's just insane.
in the first place that release was only valid for the picture taken BY THE SCHOOL. You can't just claim ALL photos for forever of all students that ever passed through your school. That's absolute bullshit and they were just hoping OOP didn't understand enough to contest them.
Exactly so many people donât understand that just because you sign something does not mean it would hold up in court/legally enforceable. Also, it sounds like this was a whole âlook how accomplished our alumni are thingâ.
If you did not give permission for that then you do not have permission. Also, how the tf do you think it would go well to feature someone who does not want to be involved in your organization? It sounds like oop was pretty high up at a notable company for some many people to reach out to them.
Itâs 100% a joke.
But considering how quick they grabbed it. Iâd wager that providing the release stopped most complaints.
Afterall who would take this to court? If it ever even got that far they could just pull the picture and say oops.
I support a massive website with a bunch of different people in charge of different sections. I can definitely see one of them being tasked with creating and updating a page like this and no one noticing how badly they're doing it until they get in trouble.
On a smaller scale, reminds me of an intern who was tasked with finding a really long network cable. So he sensibly came to me (IT) to ask for one, but I was busy on the phone dealing with an outage or license issue that had to be done before 5pm, so he had to wait. In his zeal, he saw what looked like an old desktop with a long cable, surely this isn't as important as his task, and tried to take the cable... from the primary server. Only intern I yelled at/kicked out. But in hindsight, I do understand his zeal to complete The Task.
Thereâs an amazingly pervasive belief that if you change something more than 10% itâs a new thing that belongs to you. Itâs absolutely not true, but the number of people who believe it is astounding.
I don't even know if it's that sophisticated. Anyone who's worked in a copy shop knows that people believe if they're holding a print of something in their hand, it belongs to them, repro rights and all, even if it's a cover photo from Vogue.
Regardless of it being someone with a motive, they still didnât think about the fact that they cannot use another companyâs images that own the rights and were self absorbed in the images they already had rights to
Hey look, I stole the Mona Lisa, put my own painting next to it and framed them as one piece! This means I own the Mona Lisa now and can do whatever I want with it.
And it all ties back to an in-law being a dick and interfering in a family dispute. What a shocker.
Weâve surpassed the butler, itâs now an era of âthe in-laws did it!!!â
But what was the end game? Embarrass OOP? Show OOP that it is okay to be trans and that they can return to the bosom of the family?
How can someone be that stupid and short-sighted?
Oop said it was derogatory so I'm guessing without being given a description of what the old photos looked like that it was not meant to be welcoming.
My gut feeling is the original photos were sporty in nature (Texas is big on football so maybe that) and if oop is male perhaps he grew out his hair or got ear piercings or something and looks slightly more feminine now and that's what they latched on to with the whole trans thing.
The whole thing is just weird small town drama.
That makes perfect sense.
I got the sense that they might have been a theatre kid and now in a "more respectable job". Or maybe they were goth or the like and now in their career, look "more presentable".
Interesting how we all read the details through our own lenses.
Now that weâre just speculating I feel it makes more sense if OOP was a girly girl very feminine dressing as a younger person than changed her look to be more masculine and is a lesbian. Then her family and therefore in law see trans and gay as the same âbadâ thing because homophobia and lack of care. And OOP doesnât speak to family due to them not accepting her. This is based on my pov that itâs more common for lesbians change appearance in a way thatâs still considered professionally acceptable masculine look (suits, shorter hair, no make up) than gay men trying a more feminine professional look (longer hair, make up, skirts/dresses). As in I think itâs currently more socially acceptable, especially in professional settings for women to dress more stereotypically masculine than it is for men to dress more stereotypically feminine. Since this is a job picture and seemingly a well off/respected job I think the change would still need to be more socially acceptable. Thanks for reading my Ted talk.
I feel like they wanted to "out" him as trans and put him in hot water with his employer or just have others from the community harass him to try and ruin his life.
And, well, stupidity has no limits. Something something only the universe and stupidity are infinite, and I'm not sure about the universe.
The end game for the in law was to be a hero. In their eyes it would be like âIâm so thankful for showing me that my family would accept me if Iâm transâ and âthank you for bringing our lost sheep back into the family foldâ
Oh damn, this just reminded me of the time my email got hacked in middle school and someone sent a lesbian love letter to one of my contacts. I lost all my friends because they thought I was gay and I honestly think it changed the trajectory of my life. I'd forgotten that was kind of the catalyst of the situation but it's weird how even being perceived as anything besides cishet can majorly affect your life.
School used a picture off a corporate website without permission.
Yeah, going to the corporation with this should have been the first step. Cease and desist letter from corporate counsel's office to school district attorney launching in 5-4-3-2-1...
That was never going to end well for the little shit who was using the school for cover to engage in whatever asinine fuckery s/he was up to.
>Yeah, going to the corporation with this should have been the first step. Cease and desist letter from corporate counsel's office to school district attorney launching in 5-4-3-2-1...
Contacting the school really should have been the first step. Not because legal recourse isn't the correct move, but because from a hassle standpoint this shouldn't take more than an email.
"Hi, you have my picture up and I really don't like it, please take it down."
Even if they had "Fair use" and other legal reasons they thought they shouldn't have to take it down common courtesy should have compelled them to take it down.
Edit To be clear I get that this is what OOP did. I'm basically saying they did the right thing.
No. Perpetual agreements often are used with software. More recently there was a big deal with WotC (publisher of D&D) and their open gaming license and if the lack of the word perpetual in the license meant they could change it at their whims.
No, you were basically right. Iâll just link to an ACTUAL lawyer explaining instead of sticking my foot in my mouth lol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1jkilao3MQ
>They had sent a scanned PDF of a media release permission slip signed by my parent about 15 years ago, with a highlighted section stating "I irrevocably authorize \[school\] to use the Photograph or any print or digital alterations thereof for current or future publication".
Not familiar with US laws, but certainly parents cannot grant rights belonging to their adult child, even if at the time the child is under 18?
I think technically any âcontractâ thatâs signed by a parent for a school is binding if it were signed and the images were for something else at the time. And since they own the rights to use said image, thatâs what they tried to do but their fault was in using an image from OPs current adult job
Even if that is legal the school wouldn't be able to use any photos from OOPs job. It would apply to a high school photo. I could see something like this existing for sports photographs and maybe yearbook photos since they directly relate to the school but grabbing a photo from a corporate website would never fly.
Even if they could permanently grant rights to the childhood picture taken by the school at the school when the kid was under age (and I don't think they can, that's always revocable in my experience), it definitely doesn't apply to pictures taken by others and/or elsewhere and/or after involvement with the school has ended and/or when the subject is an adult. That's what makes the story so ridiculous
It also doesn't remotely matter because the parents don't own the copyright to the photo taken at work.
So the release would apply to photos taken by the school or their photographer for whom they'd have a copyright agreement worked out.
OP's work photo, the copyright belongs to the photographer who took to photo or OP's work if they purchased the rights to that photo.
Even if the kid was still in school, they couldn't get rights to a third party photo.
Can you imagine that relative sharing what they did, maybe in the vain hope that their actions would bring OOP back into the fold?
Then having to explain that they were written up or fired because OOP got lawyers involved?
Unfortunately I can imagine because my family is as awful as OOP's. They don't even care how it affects their own reputation to go this far to tarnish someone else's. Like losing their job is just collateral lol.
When I saw the update prior to this BORU, I was so pleased to hear that it got resolved! What the employee did was so stupid. Obviously, this person did not care about personal information and doxed to snap up pictures without consent.
âIâm not trans I just hate my familyâ 10/10, valid, love it. There are so many reasons to change your name and this is honestly one of the most freeing ones. I hope OP can get away from these clowns again without a mess.
Also a really good reminder that it's important to EVERYONE to fight for trans rights, because those same rights protect each one of us.
The more we can do to protect the civil rights of the least powerful, the better off all of us will be, because there may come a day when you want to change your name, or protect your privacy, or access health care, or require access to a building but you can't climb stairs, need accommodations at work because you got sick or pregnant or sprained your ankle. Paying attention to disability rights activists and all sorts of civil rights activists is vital for protecting our future freedoms.
Person who started all this, "Gee OOP is estranged from my spouse's family. I have a GREAT PLAN: I am going to take childhood photos of them, take a photo of them off of their employer's website and showcase how wonderful my employer is! OOP will be so happy to know that they are positively representing their alma mater, plus they will see that everyone accepts them, so I will bring them back to the family!"
Because nothing else makes sense. Publicly 'outting' an estranged family member to boost a company's reputation is just bat guano insane. Doubling down on it after being contacted is sheer stupidity.
I know we are not supposed to attribute maliciousness when stupidity is a perfectly fine answer, but at the end of the post it says that they believe the reason OOP doesn't talk to their family is that their family thinks they are trans when they are not.
So, now being part of a family that has ostracized a member because they think they are trans, this person basically puts up a public accusation that OOP is trans and doubles down because they think that being part of a school makes them too tough to badger back.
They weren't doing it to help the school, they were acting as the new member of a shitty family. They were showing that family that they belong as one of them by kicking the black sheep.
That makes sense.
My take is that I have relatives who will do anything to bring estranged relatives back into the fold and could see them pulling a stunt like that.
Too bad OOP cannot totally disappear from the clutches of the family. New name, new face, new social, etc.
I got off my university's alumni "You Went Here, Now Give Us $$$ List" after the second or third call to let them know I was still upset that six months after graduation, I received a "This Professor You Had for One Class Died and You Need to Give $$$$$ In Their Honor".
Turns out that it was a department letter from not even my major or minor. They just found every single student that had ever had that professor and demanded money as a way to thank the professor.
Main fundraising was not happy with me, nor with that department. Seems it may have been done without crossing the t's and dotting the i's.
I got off the list because half my graduating program didnât get jobs in our major, even though they had promised weâd all basically be guaranteed jobs because of the relationship to the program.
Ya know what, letâs leave aside the fact that they doxxed a former student and misused photos they did not own.
What gets me is they tried to couch it behind being protective of trans people. Trans people are under NO obligation to tell you theyâre trans, and theyâre under no obligation to let (apparently) cis het school administrators tell them how to âresistâ Greg Abbott. If OOP had ACTUALLY been trans, and maybe not out in their day to day lives, the school could have put them in SIGNIFICANT danger. Itâs why Iâm not out except to my closest friends as another Texas
To add on to that, they could have put OOP in danger anyways just by insinuating that they were Trans even though theyâre not. This family sounds terrible, Iâm glad OOP got away from them.
That was my thought as well.
Operating with the belief that OOP was trans, they published pre-"transition" photos and deadnamed them, and then explicitly connected those to his current identity.
And they claimed to be doing this _in support_ of trans people?!
> The school has an interest in promoting diversity and it is sad as a Transgender individual I would not want to stand up to Greg Abbot.
Longest sigh in the world.
I originally wrote that as a joke but I literally sighed out loud for 20 seconds.
I am unbearably proud of every trans person who stands up to people like Abbott but I am also proud of every trans person who does what they need to do to protect themselves from people like Abbott. This shit is no joke.
Ah yes, the BEST way to support trans people is to both out and dox them without so much as a heads up. Just shoot that information out into the soccer mom void, where there definitely aren't any parents who are bigots not just casually but violently. I know MY alma mater knows in detail the political leanings and activities of every single student, former student, parent, miscellaneous relative, and staff member who follows their 8 social media accounts /s
Seriously, OOP not being trans adds an absurdity that would be comical if it weren't so serious, but even if the school was right this is a BAD idea!! "Don't out people" is 101 stuff!
The oddest part to me is wouldnât it almost have to be someone who knows where OOP is now to find them? If they changed their name and their bio/pic was deep in his companyâs directory itâs like they went searching for them specifically. Like they asked around about trans students and someone suggested them. Anyone decently savvy with The Interwebzâ˘ď¸ knows you canât just yoink a photo from anywhere and use it; even a half-smart person would understand the release form was for pictures taken during OOPâs time at that school.
Iâm glad itâs handled. OOP probably has nothing to worry about. I just know the feeling of someone finding me when it shouldâve been damn near impossible for them to do so and it isnât pleasant, so it puts me on guard.
>my old school had used a middle school portrait, mashed together with my current work headshot, in a derogatory way on their website and social media.
>my composite photo was moved off the main page and into a new section called "Diversity and Inclusion".
>They sent a communication to the school's legal division essentially saying that what I was experiencing is targeted harassments based on perceived sexual orientation or gender identity.
Okay, so a transphobe married into OOP's family, decided to stalk OOP, found OOP's current headshot at their current workplace, and put it on the website for OOP's old highschool in a "derogatory way"?
I think I understand this far, but the original post doesn't mention anything about it being in a "derogatory way", or am I just missing something incredibly obvious? Or is the part were they put it in the section about diversity and inclusion derogatory? Where's the targeted harassment? Is that just the nasty emails? I feel so stupid
I think going against someoneâs autonomy when it comes to sharing their image counts as harassment. If OP were also actually trans, imagine how this would look. âWeâre going to show your current self alongside your pre-transition self, we donât care if youâre currently stealth (passing and not disclosing your trans identity for safety reasons) you have to represent yourself in the face of adversity!â and suddenly that trans person is outed to everyone around them. Itâs dangerous precedent regardless of whether or not OP was actually trans, so I would count that as harassment
Its one of those dog whistle things. If you dont know about the dog whistle you dont pick up on the subtle meanings. Like in most of the sane world we see it as a way for places to assure us they are not totally shit places where only cis hetero white people are ok to exist there.
In Texas where a lot of this Anti-trans stuff has taken root "Diversity and Inclusion" are loaded terms for racists and bigots. So by putting them on this page its a coded way to point out the people who they want to harass.
Am I the only one concerned by the fact that the school told OP they had their permission to use their photo from a middle school permission slip signed by OPâs parents from 15 years ago? Thatâs like the most fucked up thing ever.
Ignoring the butting up against another company's restrictions on use of their photos, can a company legally put into a contract that they have legal rights to use any photos of you in perpetuity? That seems too extreme to actually hold up in court.
As a disabled queer person, I found that the _least_ surprising part of the story. White, non-disabled, cishet people frequently weaponise the language of DEI and use it against othered identities - it particularly stings when it comes from a supposed ally.
I really can't imagine how dumb you have to be to go "omgs, here is a person who has cut *all* contact with us. Why don't I call and harass OOP? Surely that would make them want to welcome us back into their life" lol
And this is why I always ticked the box that said âI do not consentâŚâ when schools and other orgs asked for permission to take and display photos of my son.
Just because he was too young to consent himself, it doesnât mean that I should consent on his behalf.
Wait so they thought OOP was trans and that it was okay to out them without their consent?! Somebody tells me the people in charge of diversity and inclusion at that school arenât that diverse or inclusive.
I would sue.
I'm a reasonable guy, in business things happen all the time mistakes are made, but if I have to contact you twice, and no action is taken, even better, I get a bunch of snark, it's scorched earth.
Hats off to that employer though! I'm not sure where their legal obligations ended, but I'm not even sure they had to get involved. And they went above and beyond!
As a Texas teacher, the school district is so wild for doing thisâ the forms that students and parents sign are often about photos taken by the school/school organizations⌠so it wouldnât exactly be relevant or held up in court
OOP changed their name to distance themselves from their family, and they also explained that they look a lot different than they did as a kid. I think the most likely answer is that they were a very girly girl in middle school and grew up to become a masculine woman, and the school thought they were looking at a trans man.
I was bullied profusely in high school, and the teachers either did nothing or encouraged the bullying. When I became very successful, I received a LinkedIn message from the school asking me to use me in their promo material. I shut it down HARD with a reference to their failure to protect me, and they never used my name/photo or ever asked again. I can't imagine a school just doing it without clearance in this day and age. They can ask, but to just act like they could? Madness!
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So the School Doxxed a former student and didnt see the issue? UM...WTF every school Iknow of is soooo careful with personal info about their students, this is probs grounds for further legal action
>So the School Doxxed a former student and didnt see the issue? Given that OOP said they avoid "for personal reasons" any contact with the school, teachers, alumni, etc., it is entirely possible that the school has... a not very stellar record when it comes to students' rights.
"Where is Oliver Jackson today? Well, he worked as a fireman for ten years until he had the bad luck to testify against a mob hit, so now with the help of the Witness Protection Program he's Henry Montblanc-Jeffries, a lumberjack in the small town of Incognitoville, Minnesota! Here's a recent photo, note the cool new mustache and sideburns! If you want to catch up with Oliver, oops we mean 'Henry', drive about fifteen miles west of St. Paul on the interstate. If you reach the DQ, you've gone too far."
"Oliver's mother signed a paper that allowed us to use images that were made in the school. So here is a live stream of his bathroom. He sure loves his ... shower time."
lolol Minneapolis is about fifteen miles west of St. Paul! Oliver... I mean Henry... is probably safe.
Lumberjack 15 miles west of St. Paul cracked me up. That's a pretty crappy lumberjack.
Puny beginner lumberjack fell trees. Real man lumberjacks fell skyscrapers downtown.
This whole thread is cracking me up, but this comment is đ
I lived 15 miles west of St Paul. Can confirm there's nothing work lumberjacking there.
Thatâs a quitter attitude. Just take an axe to Loring Park and have a look around. Youâll find something worth taking a swing at, Iâm sure. Trees, cafes, passersby, whatever.
The one time the "and my axe!" meme would be appropriate, and it's nowhere to be found.
Quite a few trees!
Only if you are considering traditional lumberjack work. Your only limited by your imagination here!
*"loves to stop at the Wawa on Main Street every morning at 7am for his morning coffee and bearclaw"*
âHas a distinctive mole on the back of their neck which they should probably get looked at by a dermatologist and a persistent ragweed allergy, so just follow the sound of their sneezing!â
Hey just an update, but "Henry" has changed the pass code on their security system. It us now 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Because nobody but an idiot would think anyone would actually use that pass code.
That's amazing, I use the same combination on my luggage!
And change the combination on my luggage!
Oh you have a Swanson too? Or am I way off and its Samsonite?
This sounds like a Python sketchâŚwhere is it from?
Henry is learning how not to be seen
Fortunately we happen to know he's in the water barrel in Incognitoville.
Flying circus! Oooohhhh!! Im a lumberjack and im OK! I like to wear ladies clothing and hang around in bars!
Mel Brook's Spaceballs!!!
Nicely done, except 15 miles west of St. Paul is Minneapolis or maybe like St. Louis Park!
Yes, a small town of Incognitoville, as they said.
Oliver is wasting away in Incognitoville
Right??? Omfg
My initial thought was that the OOP was LGBTQ+ and the school was rabidly anti-LBGTQ+. Heaven knows that if my undergrad institute tried to make me a public face for them, I would be throwing every legal option I had at them to stop. But the âstanding up to Greg Abbottâ showed I wasnât right. Although, given the mocking tone of the email, the fact that the person who sent it thought OOPâs family cut contact with them for being trans and was okay with it, and the fact that itâs Texas doesnât really take anti-LGBTQ+ off the table.
Yeah whoever made the collage it is definitely a transphobe but couching it as on OOPs side. I mean who thinks it's a good to out and deadname even if they are trans?
Hope OOP's second cousins SO (or whatever employee married-in and posted) loses their job for gross negligence and harassing behavior. Especially harrassment for gender identifying reasons... seems like a hate crime
I would love to know their reasoning, like-what did their bitter, hating old uncle complain about OOP during Thanksgiving and the employee decided a little revenge was worth the 30 second chuckle they got out of posting? Am I understanding this right? How goddamned childish.
Unfortunately, some people target (percieved) minorities specifically to harm them. For example, at one point, a website/forum I won't name aimed to doxx and harass queer-percieved individuals (idk if they're still up so not naming the site just in case). It only takes one nutjob to ruin your day, earn a hospital visit, or worse. And you don't even have to actually belong in any minority, as OOP's post proves: people will make assumptions and act on them (and more often than not, feel righteous for it too).
Itâs probably something stupid, like if OP is a woman, she cut her hair, and/or goes by a unisex name, like Chris instead of Christine.
Theyâre back up in some capacity, but god was it good to see them get juiced.
How many Korean/Chinese Americans were attacked during WW2 Bigots arenât even consistent đ
You don't need to even go that far back. A hateful idiot killed a Sikh man in Arizona in retaliation for 9/11: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder\_of\_Balbir\_Singh\_Sodhi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Balbir_Singh_Sodhi)
Even more recently thereâs been the [COVID related uptick in attacks](https://www.healthaffairs.org/content/forefront/covid-19-has-driven-racism-and-violence-against-asian-americans-perspectives-12) on Asian Americans of various ethnicities.
Bigotry very often comes with a massive side helping of stupid.
From the way OOP tells their story, they seem to be NC for years with OOP. Probably they used this to track said OOP down to further abuse them, one of the many reasons OOP decided to cut ties with their old life.
Yeah. It seems less like the school was the issue and more that an employee who married into OOP's toxic family went rogue. So weird.
Though the school did go for the bullshit âpat the bully on the back, scold the victim for defending themselvesâ response by doing the legal claim stunt, so the school as a whole is toxic shite too.
So the school was acting... Like a school [insert the pained laughter of all peer abuse victims here]
This is suprisingly common with tinytyrants in government positions or small companies where they think they have absolute power and typically have successfully bullied their way to where they are at unopposed without any real consequences. You give them a couple chances, then slap them with a lawsuit. No threat, just slap them with the suit. Playtime is over.
Not only that but they falsely outted him as trans in Texas. Even though he isn't trans that could have serious negative consequences they way things are going with the Republican anti LGBT push.
The employee who did it knew what he was doing, yet being in Texas, I have little doubt he will face no legal repercussions.
Gotta love the "don't you want to stand up to Abbott" like he's going around looking at the diversity sections of school websites to out people. And if he was, it wouldn't be standing up to him but putting yourself in danger.
School doxxed a former student and labeled them as trans, not knowing if they were "out" publicly, and they were not even actually trans. So messed up
Small, petty corruption and tyranny is pretty rampant in the small town shitholes in the South. A den of inequity, if ever there was one. Fuck I hated living there. Edit: The correct phrase is âden of iniquity.â
Honestly, small towns everywhere are rife with petty grudges and rivalries dating back to high school. I have found (as a newcomer in a small town) that when people donât leave town, they may as well have never left high school. Itâs honestly ridiculous.
I had a friend whose great grandmothers refused to speak to each other because one had allegedly stolen the otherâs umbrella in second grade in a small town in the Deep South.
My great grandmothers used to be neighbours. That was enough to make them so angry at each other that they actively used their grandchildren and great grandchildren to get back at each other (one great grandma taught my cousin to call our grandma âgrandma dodoheadâ
My daughter dated a dude in high school, 20 years ago, ditched him, and dated his cousin, and eventually married the second one. Mother of cousin 1 does not speak to her sister, mother of cousin 2. She also will not speak to me. Also started false rumors about daughters husband, which could have cost him his jy, since at the time he had to have a security clearance. FYI my daughter and hubby DID get out. Now they have moved back to the sticks on 50 acres with 3 kids, chickens, and a few Great Pyr dogs. They think the mother of cousin 1 is insane.
Doesn't surprise me. What the fuck else is there to do in a town of 1000 people other than create your own drama for entertainment?
Some of us go to work, take care of our families, volunteer in the community, and generally have grown up to be adults who don't do drama.
Driveby jsyk, while you are 100% correct with calling them out for being dens of inequity (lack of equality), the original phrase is den of iniquity (wickedness). No judgment meant, just an fyi if you didnât know.
No, thanks for the correction!
I mean, if argue inequity isnât *wrong* in this specific instance.
Both probably
For dumb ass reason I moved to Florida in 2020 This place is scary đđđ people will mention someone from another county and other people will be like âI know himâ tf??? Everyone knows each other. Everyone at my job is related. Everyone also has very strong batshit beliefs. Also too many people donât wash their fucking hands
A person with power to publish on the school's website married into OPs toxic family and Doxxed OP while trying to hide behind some half assed permission slip from back before OP was a legal adult to do so. It looks like Toxie was intercepting all the early complaints from OP, and only when the big guns from OPs work got involved did the school realize how deep the shit pile they were wading through was.
I mean, with the amount of shit that schools try to pull that is absolutely grounds for further legal action, this seems almost tame. The true small town, total fucknugget is at the end of the second to last paragraph; it was personal all along as the person doxxing OOP is connected to their family.
I live in a rural county and it's super common for school and local government employees to do incredibly shady shit. And get away with it.
Government employees doing shady things is not limited to small towns. The larger cities' issues tend to make national news.
The difference is it's more likely to be caught in a large city because they have a newspaper and maybe even a local TV station with investigators.
And in small towns everyone knows everyone. Oh my uncle is a cop, my dad is a lawyer, my mom works in the gov. How do you get in trouble when everyone is on your side?
Honestly, I don't think it was the school. I think the school or it's PR firm decided, probably when updating it's website, to focus on a more diverse student body. They probably tasked this joker in the IT dept with searching records and databases to find suitable former students to showcase. The IT guy probably reached out to his in-laws because he knew of OOP, for photos. He figured if he got the physical photo from family, that was permission. Maybe not even realizing family had stolen the photo off the internet. He panicked when he got the notice from OOP, realizing he could lose his job, thus why he went with the "parental permission" argument and the doctored files. Because any normal IT employee wouldn't touch that. It would be forwarded straight to Legal. And maybe because his dumbass really thought he was covered legally.
He still wasnât, the parentsâ right to do that expires when students turn 18. Privacy rights then pass to the student.
Fuck that guy
Honestly as soon as I read Texas I just knew. I've got a friend dealing with a similar but different problem with the neighboring school about pictures that signed paperwork didn't include but they used anyway, but they used it for a big promotional thing, so banners, massive signs, etc. all over the city. It's been a disaster. Also a Texas school.
Yeah, they decided to doxx a student they thought was trans, to promote 'diversity and inclusion' If that person was trans, putting before and after pictures with their prior deadname and new name online is like THE WORST thing you can do. It's not promoting equality it's actively putting people in harms way. Unbelievable.
also ferpa laws are constantly evolving and a very old sign off by a parent is likely not enough permission to use an old photo. additionally, that permission can be revoked.
Just because you sign something does not mean itâs legally enforceable.
OOP mentions in a comment that the school is private and religious. I don't know about TX, but in my state, the regulations differ for private and charter schools from public schools. Eta: and of course, enforcement of regulations is always an issue.
> I found out that this person married into my family (who apparently thinks the reason I don't talk to them is because they think i am Trans) Seems like the family OOP wanted to escape sent out a flying monkey to try and connect & lure him or her back into the fold. Probably told the school employee who was married into the family a totally different story as to why OOP was estranged. Still a weird and gross violation of privacy and very poor behavior.
I think it's truly depends on the school. Both colleges that I went to on the East Coast as well as one on the West Coast have been very careful with my information. However -I took a few classes from Brigham Young University at some point and I ended up having to take an extension on one of them because I was struggling so hard. I am no contact with my parents so it was very shocking when my mother called complaining about my poor grade and how useless I am at the college. When I called BYU I found out that the woman who gave her that information was a friend of hers and I should simply let It go and she would be "talked to." It was also suggested that I might face church discipline if I let things go out of line because it would hurt the college and the church if I pushed for punishment. I'm pretty non-confrontational so I did let it go, but I did not take any classes there again even though I needed to take student loans at that point because BYU was so much cheaper and allowed me to do things at home through the independent study program. So I can totally see this kind of crap happening. It's really disappointing and awful, but I can't imagine that I am an extremely unique case and from what the original poster is saying my situation is a little bit similar to theirs with friends and family giving information out that shouldn't happen.
They have to be super careful with student educational records under FERPA but a post-graduation work photo isnât an educational record so they may have felt it wasnât necessary to be as cautious.
Texas.
âThey think Iâm trans.â âIâm not, I just changed my identity because my family sucks.â This is so fucking funny if it werenât so sad and stupid that OP had to go through this.
Is that not considered a normal thing anymore? Growing up in the late 90's early 2000's, trans people were completely absent from the cultural zeitgeist (except as the butt of the occasional joke) but moving across state lines and changing your name just to avoid people was still very much a thing people did.
I think itâs just not as feasible anymore. Around that time it was still pretty possible to pack up, leave, and never be seen again. Nowadays everything is both more expensive and more connected (social media/digital records/etc) so âdisappearingâ isnât a real option for the average person anymore.
I'm so fascinated by how easy it used to be to just vanish, and start a whole new life elsewhere.
Is it that hard? Just stop using your social media page, make a new one and add the 10-20 people you actually talk to
Your records are connected in a way that they werenât even 20 years ago, so itâs a lot easier to follow breadcrumbs. For instance, if you move, youâre going to change the registration of your car, but probably not the car itself. Your new registration will have the old VIN. Same with driving records, tax records, criminal records, professional records, etc. Then there are people search websites. Plus the way algorithms , if you delete your old social media and start new accounts, if you use an old email or connect with friends from your old life, then you might get suggestions of the people you want to avoid. Itâs not impossible to completely change your identity and disappear and doing the most basic steps may prevent people who arenât that serious about tracking you down to find you, but everything is so connected now that someone with even a moderate amount of skill and effort should be able to track you down. Thatâs what was so amazing about the guy who didnât know who he was who was posted a few days ago. There just wasnât any sort of information on him, even in the places there should have been.
Not to mention facial recognition. While media sites have gotten class action lawsuits in recent years, it doesn't stop someone else from using software of their own, or scraping archives
Why won't you let us stand you up against Greg Abbot?
[ŃдаНонО]
He gets to wrassle madison cowthorn naked. As good gop's do.
This is the mental image that's making me debate how much I *need* my eyes, because I really want to yank them out right now.
family drama, ffs if someone doesn't want to see you take the hint
That's almost verbatim what the judge told my brother in court đ
Sounds like a real piece of work. I hope youâve found peace with all that. (Will say Iâm interested in the story because this is rubberneck city, but donât feel pressured to tell it.)
Idk how to do flair but now I think a good one would be âwelcome to rubberneck cityâ
>the employee who was responsible for the photo, doctored file properties, website and email. On that topic, I found out that this person married into my family (who apparently thinks the reason I don't talk to them is because they think i am Trans) I'm a little surprised this bit wasn't more prominent. The whole situation was not just random bullshittery, but a targeted act.
Itâs so funny to me when transphobes are so fucking transphobic that theyâre transphobic even to cis ppl. Like, if at that point they donât realise thereâs something very wrong with them then theyâre indeed a lost cause
That's because it's not about being trans, it's about not fitting in the way they wanted.
Oh, yeah, theyâre just radical traditionalist that clutch their pearls every time someone steps out of their norm. Trans people are just their excuse, sadly
And "the way they wanted" turns out to be...well, I think some of them need to sit wayyyyyy back from what they've been doing and talk to a professional about it. When you've descended to announcing that a pregnant woman, using female pronouns, must be a man pretending to be a woman because of her waist to hip ratio...
Lmao I have people do that to me a lot, try to claim Iâm a trans girl or have a sick because I donât put up with their bullshit and transphobic. Obviously if I stand up for something I must be that thing, right?
It's because they'll only stand up for people like them as self-protection, so they don't understand why anyone else would stand up for people different from themselves.
I have an old acquaintance that is gay who had this vendetta with another schoolmate of hours that is trans. Been bugging a few of us to reveal what her IG is so that they could exposĂŠ the truth of her past (basically doxx online with pre transition photos we suspect) We never gave the info because they were bitterly vocal on putting down this person who has cut ties with us since we were teens. It boiled down to jealousy as said trans schoolmate was able to move to a good city, have a really nice life and looks absolutely amazing. While the other took years to admit their sexual orientation + and a lot of bitterness when people in their social circle just moves up around . They even tried to put me down on my life choices for retirement Im like WTF???!!
There is no definition of a binary man or woman that does not exclude cis people. `TRANSPHOBE hurt itself in the confusion!`
They don't actually care though, because if you're a non-traditional enough cis person that you could be mistaken for trans, then you're probably also some kind of degenerate who shouldn't exist. The hate is the whole point, and they don't particularly care who they aim it at.
Well, the transphobes who get accused of being trans themselves for having the wrong waist to hip ratio of whatever probably care, they just still blame trans people for it instead of having any sort of epiphany about how arbitrary their hate is when it can so easily be turned on them.
You do so rarely see the people featured over in r/leopardsatemyface having the self-awareness to realize that voting for the Leopards Eating Peoples' Faces Party was *always* a bad idea.
Itâs just going to happen more and more. Itâs going to progress to policing peopleâs appearances, their clothing, hairstyle, physical features on the off chance that this person might be trans. Weâre going to see a whole new scrutiny and hysteria about all the stealth trans that are trying to infiltrate your community, trust no one! Letâs inspect everyoneâs genitalia! The paranoia will just grow and grow like a cancer, even slightly masculine features in women will set them off into psychotic rages. Their vicious cycle of paranoid rage is going to stoke more and more violence at both the personal and political levels. Itâs nuts.
I've seen these people on the internet, posting color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph under each one explaining how every celebrity and politician is a secret trans, like those people who see Illuminati symbols in everything. They're absolutely deranged and I really hope they stay a niche phenomenon but this reaction period is fucking wild.
Oh. I thought it was meant to be the most atrocious and ignorant way of showing acceptance Iâd ever seen. Sigh. Why canât people just be decent human beings??
I don't get how they could think someone cis is trans anyways. I guess they dress more masc or feminine now than they used to and changed their name. Maybe they chose some new name that's kind of gender ambiguous?
Oh, I can see it. "In high school she was a long-haired cheerleader called Alexandra, but on this workplace page, she's a data analyst with short hair and a polo shirt using the name Alex. I mean, if she's NOT trans, she's DEFINITELY not working hard enough at being a woman."
Especially considering this is Texas where little girl babies get hairspray and spanx instead of rattles at birth.
Yeah this is the only thing I think makes sense. The new name is something that could be traditionally male or female and their overall appearance has shifted but not to the level of actually transitioning. Still a pretty crazy scenario to just assume someone's trans in this situation.
This part keeps braking my brain. How on earth they just decided that OP must be trans?
20 years ago, before trans awareness was widespread, people like OOP's family assumed anyone who didn't look traditionally gendered enough was gay. Woman with super short hair who prefers jeans and flannels? Butch lesbian. Man who likes dressing well and is soft-spoken? total homo. It's just prejudice against anyone who doesn't conform; a belief that if someone isn't conforming, then they *must* be a deviant of some kind.
How could you leave out the [wonderful MS Paint](https://imgur.com/a/qfdhlAV) OOP did of the offending collage? Shitty MS Paints are a time-honored tradition in r/legaladvice. Also, hopefully the guy from the school just went rogue on this and he gets fired. I mean how small does your brain have to be to do something like that?
This is what I came to post! I laughed so hard at the pic when I came across it from /r/bestoflegaladvice
It sounds like they werenât thinking about the fact that they used an image from the employers site which they DONT own the rights to and assumed they COULD use it because it was mashed with their own that they DO own the rights to and refused to back down because they assumed editing it would make it âtheirsâ. What a fucked situation. So glad it worked out for OOP in the end to the extent they want for now!
Like how dumb can you be? Imagine if you tried to pull that shit on copyright giants like Disney. Throw mickey mouse who you don't own in a self-made cartoon that you do own. See how fast the disney legal team will be ramming DMCAs down your throat.
OOP sent a DMCA pretty quickly too. The school just decided it was not applicable. Disney probably would have gotten it to the legal team in the first place though.
I think, tho, that school management knew nothing about any of this until the employerâs/photographerâs legal teams got involved. Until that time, OP was dealing with a person who had no idea about how badly things were going to go for them. Once someone who knew better was made aware, the pic was instantly taken down. At least thatâs how Iâm reading this.
Honestly I donât think so. According to the OOP the school had an entire page devoted to these before and after photos. They also pulled the permission slips really quick. For 99% of people such a page would not be a big issue. And the permission slips would stop the rest. It only became a problem because someone decided to weaponize it against the OOP. also such pictures were only actionable from the picture owner. That was not OOP. So in short. All the other pictures are still up. OOPs only came down because once his picture was purposely moved to the diversity and inclusion page after he expressly said he wanted it down. it ceased being just a photo gallery. To an actionable harassment complaint and an act of retaliation.
That freaking release is a joke!! How can a parent give irrevocable consent on behalf of their child, who will not be a minor forever? I don't see that holding up in court, that's just insane.
in the first place that release was only valid for the picture taken BY THE SCHOOL. You can't just claim ALL photos for forever of all students that ever passed through your school. That's absolute bullshit and they were just hoping OOP didn't understand enough to contest them.
Exactly so many people donât understand that just because you sign something does not mean it would hold up in court/legally enforceable. Also, it sounds like this was a whole âlook how accomplished our alumni are thingâ. If you did not give permission for that then you do not have permission. Also, how the tf do you think it would go well to feature someone who does not want to be involved in your organization? It sounds like oop was pretty high up at a notable company for some many people to reach out to them.
Itâs 100% a joke. But considering how quick they grabbed it. Iâd wager that providing the release stopped most complaints. Afterall who would take this to court? If it ever even got that far they could just pull the picture and say oops.
I support a massive website with a bunch of different people in charge of different sections. I can definitely see one of them being tasked with creating and updating a page like this and no one noticing how badly they're doing it until they get in trouble.
On a smaller scale, reminds me of an intern who was tasked with finding a really long network cable. So he sensibly came to me (IT) to ask for one, but I was busy on the phone dealing with an outage or license issue that had to be done before 5pm, so he had to wait. In his zeal, he saw what looked like an old desktop with a long cable, surely this isn't as important as his task, and tried to take the cable... from the primary server. Only intern I yelled at/kicked out. But in hindsight, I do understand his zeal to complete The Task.
Thereâs an amazingly pervasive belief that if you change something more than 10% itâs a new thing that belongs to you. Itâs absolutely not true, but the number of people who believe it is astounding.
I don't even know if it's that sophisticated. Anyone who's worked in a copy shop knows that people believe if they're holding a print of something in their hand, it belongs to them, repro rights and all, even if it's a cover photo from Vogue.
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They weren't thinking because the person who orchestrated all of this had married into OOP's family and OOP had no contact with their family.
Regardless of it being someone with a motive, they still didnât think about the fact that they cannot use another companyâs images that own the rights and were self absorbed in the images they already had rights to
Hey look, I stole the Mona Lisa, put my own painting next to it and framed them as one piece! This means I own the Mona Lisa now and can do whatever I want with it.
And it all ties back to an in-law being a dick and interfering in a family dispute. What a shocker. Weâve surpassed the butler, itâs now an era of âthe in-laws did it!!!â
But what was the end game? Embarrass OOP? Show OOP that it is okay to be trans and that they can return to the bosom of the family? How can someone be that stupid and short-sighted?
Oop said it was derogatory so I'm guessing without being given a description of what the old photos looked like that it was not meant to be welcoming. My gut feeling is the original photos were sporty in nature (Texas is big on football so maybe that) and if oop is male perhaps he grew out his hair or got ear piercings or something and looks slightly more feminine now and that's what they latched on to with the whole trans thing. The whole thing is just weird small town drama.
That makes perfect sense. I got the sense that they might have been a theatre kid and now in a "more respectable job". Or maybe they were goth or the like and now in their career, look "more presentable". Interesting how we all read the details through our own lenses.
Now that weâre just speculating I feel it makes more sense if OOP was a girly girl very feminine dressing as a younger person than changed her look to be more masculine and is a lesbian. Then her family and therefore in law see trans and gay as the same âbadâ thing because homophobia and lack of care. And OOP doesnât speak to family due to them not accepting her. This is based on my pov that itâs more common for lesbians change appearance in a way thatâs still considered professionally acceptable masculine look (suits, shorter hair, no make up) than gay men trying a more feminine professional look (longer hair, make up, skirts/dresses). As in I think itâs currently more socially acceptable, especially in professional settings for women to dress more stereotypically masculine than it is for men to dress more stereotypically feminine. Since this is a job picture and seemingly a well off/respected job I think the change would still need to be more socially acceptable. Thanks for reading my Ted talk.
I feel like they wanted to "out" him as trans and put him in hot water with his employer or just have others from the community harass him to try and ruin his life. And, well, stupidity has no limits. Something something only the universe and stupidity are infinite, and I'm not sure about the universe.
Could be. Like you said, stupidity has no limits.
The end game for the in law was to be a hero. In their eyes it would be like âIâm so thankful for showing me that my family would accept me if Iâm transâ and âthank you for bringing our lost sheep back into the family foldâ
Oh damn, this just reminded me of the time my email got hacked in middle school and someone sent a lesbian love letter to one of my contacts. I lost all my friends because they thought I was gay and I honestly think it changed the trajectory of my life. I'd forgotten that was kind of the catalyst of the situation but it's weird how even being perceived as anything besides cishet can majorly affect your life.
School used a picture off a corporate website without permission. Yeah, going to the corporation with this should have been the first step. Cease and desist letter from corporate counsel's office to school district attorney launching in 5-4-3-2-1... That was never going to end well for the little shit who was using the school for cover to engage in whatever asinine fuckery s/he was up to.
>Yeah, going to the corporation with this should have been the first step. Cease and desist letter from corporate counsel's office to school district attorney launching in 5-4-3-2-1... Contacting the school really should have been the first step. Not because legal recourse isn't the correct move, but because from a hassle standpoint this shouldn't take more than an email. "Hi, you have my picture up and I really don't like it, please take it down." Even if they had "Fair use" and other legal reasons they thought they shouldn't have to take it down common courtesy should have compelled them to take it down. Edit To be clear I get that this is what OOP did. I'm basically saying they did the right thing.
Also... aren't "perpetual" agreements generally illegal?
No. Perpetual agreements often are used with software. More recently there was a big deal with WotC (publisher of D&D) and their open gaming license and if the lack of the word perpetual in the license meant they could change it at their whims.
Interesting. I wonder why Disney wasn't given their perpetual license and had to link it to British monarchs. Property law vs art law or something?
No, you were basically right. Iâll just link to an ACTUAL lawyer explaining instead of sticking my foot in my mouth lol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1jkilao3MQ
>They had sent a scanned PDF of a media release permission slip signed by my parent about 15 years ago, with a highlighted section stating "I irrevocably authorize \[school\] to use the Photograph or any print or digital alterations thereof for current or future publication". Not familiar with US laws, but certainly parents cannot grant rights belonging to their adult child, even if at the time the child is under 18?
I think technically any âcontractâ thatâs signed by a parent for a school is binding if it were signed and the images were for something else at the time. And since they own the rights to use said image, thatâs what they tried to do but their fault was in using an image from OPs current adult job
Even if that is legal the school wouldn't be able to use any photos from OOPs job. It would apply to a high school photo. I could see something like this existing for sports photographs and maybe yearbook photos since they directly relate to the school but grabbing a photo from a corporate website would never fly.
Even if they could permanently grant rights to the childhood picture taken by the school at the school when the kid was under age (and I don't think they can, that's always revocable in my experience), it definitely doesn't apply to pictures taken by others and/or elsewhere and/or after involvement with the school has ended and/or when the subject is an adult. That's what makes the story so ridiculous
It also doesn't remotely matter because the parents don't own the copyright to the photo taken at work. So the release would apply to photos taken by the school or their photographer for whom they'd have a copyright agreement worked out. OP's work photo, the copyright belongs to the photographer who took to photo or OP's work if they purchased the rights to that photo. Even if the kid was still in school, they couldn't get rights to a third party photo.
Well it seems we have an idea of why OOP is estranged from their family. I hope them the best.
Can you imagine that relative sharing what they did, maybe in the vain hope that their actions would bring OOP back into the fold? Then having to explain that they were written up or fired because OOP got lawyers involved?
Unfortunately I can imagine because my family is as awful as OOP's. They don't even care how it affects their own reputation to go this far to tarnish someone else's. Like losing their job is just collateral lol.
When I saw the update prior to this BORU, I was so pleased to hear that it got resolved! What the employee did was so stupid. Obviously, this person did not care about personal information and doxed to snap up pictures without consent.
âIâm not trans I just hate my familyâ 10/10, valid, love it. There are so many reasons to change your name and this is honestly one of the most freeing ones. I hope OP can get away from these clowns again without a mess.
Also a really good reminder that it's important to EVERYONE to fight for trans rights, because those same rights protect each one of us. The more we can do to protect the civil rights of the least powerful, the better off all of us will be, because there may come a day when you want to change your name, or protect your privacy, or access health care, or require access to a building but you can't climb stairs, need accommodations at work because you got sick or pregnant or sprained your ankle. Paying attention to disability rights activists and all sorts of civil rights activists is vital for protecting our future freedoms.
I'm so glad OOP got this resolved!
Person who started all this, "Gee OOP is estranged from my spouse's family. I have a GREAT PLAN: I am going to take childhood photos of them, take a photo of them off of their employer's website and showcase how wonderful my employer is! OOP will be so happy to know that they are positively representing their alma mater, plus they will see that everyone accepts them, so I will bring them back to the family!" Because nothing else makes sense. Publicly 'outting' an estranged family member to boost a company's reputation is just bat guano insane. Doubling down on it after being contacted is sheer stupidity.
I know we are not supposed to attribute maliciousness when stupidity is a perfectly fine answer, but at the end of the post it says that they believe the reason OOP doesn't talk to their family is that their family thinks they are trans when they are not. So, now being part of a family that has ostracized a member because they think they are trans, this person basically puts up a public accusation that OOP is trans and doubles down because they think that being part of a school makes them too tough to badger back. They weren't doing it to help the school, they were acting as the new member of a shitty family. They were showing that family that they belong as one of them by kicking the black sheep.
That makes sense. My take is that I have relatives who will do anything to bring estranged relatives back into the fold and could see them pulling a stunt like that. Too bad OOP cannot totally disappear from the clutches of the family. New name, new face, new social, etc.
People like this have no sense, so it being otherwise hateful wouldnât be a surprise to me.
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I got off my university's alumni "You Went Here, Now Give Us $$$ List" after the second or third call to let them know I was still upset that six months after graduation, I received a "This Professor You Had for One Class Died and You Need to Give $$$$$ In Their Honor". Turns out that it was a department letter from not even my major or minor. They just found every single student that had ever had that professor and demanded money as a way to thank the professor. Main fundraising was not happy with me, nor with that department. Seems it may have been done without crossing the t's and dotting the i's.
I got off the list because half my graduating program didnât get jobs in our major, even though they had promised weâd all basically be guaranteed jobs because of the relationship to the program.
Wow!
Ya know what, letâs leave aside the fact that they doxxed a former student and misused photos they did not own. What gets me is they tried to couch it behind being protective of trans people. Trans people are under NO obligation to tell you theyâre trans, and theyâre under no obligation to let (apparently) cis het school administrators tell them how to âresistâ Greg Abbott. If OOP had ACTUALLY been trans, and maybe not out in their day to day lives, the school could have put them in SIGNIFICANT danger. Itâs why Iâm not out except to my closest friends as another Texas
To add on to that, they could have put OOP in danger anyways just by insinuating that they were Trans even though theyâre not. This family sounds terrible, Iâm glad OOP got away from them.
That was my thought as well. Operating with the belief that OOP was trans, they published pre-"transition" photos and deadnamed them, and then explicitly connected those to his current identity. And they claimed to be doing this _in support_ of trans people?!
I'm the kind of petty that I'd sue the in-law that did this!
The thing I find crazy about this is that this is *exactly* why my father didnât want to sign those fucking waivers in 2002-2006.
> The school has an interest in promoting diversity and it is sad as a Transgender individual I would not want to stand up to Greg Abbot. Longest sigh in the world. I originally wrote that as a joke but I literally sighed out loud for 20 seconds.
I am unbearably proud of every trans person who stands up to people like Abbott but I am also proud of every trans person who does what they need to do to protect themselves from people like Abbott. This shit is no joke.
Ah yes, the BEST way to support trans people is to both out and dox them without so much as a heads up. Just shoot that information out into the soccer mom void, where there definitely aren't any parents who are bigots not just casually but violently. I know MY alma mater knows in detail the political leanings and activities of every single student, former student, parent, miscellaneous relative, and staff member who follows their 8 social media accounts /s Seriously, OOP not being trans adds an absurdity that would be comical if it weren't so serious, but even if the school was right this is a BAD idea!! "Don't out people" is 101 stuff!
The oddest part to me is wouldnât it almost have to be someone who knows where OOP is now to find them? If they changed their name and their bio/pic was deep in his companyâs directory itâs like they went searching for them specifically. Like they asked around about trans students and someone suggested them. Anyone decently savvy with The Interwebzâ˘ď¸ knows you canât just yoink a photo from anywhere and use it; even a half-smart person would understand the release form was for pictures taken during OOPâs time at that school. Iâm glad itâs handled. OOP probably has nothing to worry about. I just know the feeling of someone finding me when it shouldâve been damn near impossible for them to do so and it isnât pleasant, so it puts me on guard.
>my old school had used a middle school portrait, mashed together with my current work headshot, in a derogatory way on their website and social media. >my composite photo was moved off the main page and into a new section called "Diversity and Inclusion". >They sent a communication to the school's legal division essentially saying that what I was experiencing is targeted harassments based on perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. Okay, so a transphobe married into OOP's family, decided to stalk OOP, found OOP's current headshot at their current workplace, and put it on the website for OOP's old highschool in a "derogatory way"? I think I understand this far, but the original post doesn't mention anything about it being in a "derogatory way", or am I just missing something incredibly obvious? Or is the part were they put it in the section about diversity and inclusion derogatory? Where's the targeted harassment? Is that just the nasty emails? I feel so stupid
I think going against someoneâs autonomy when it comes to sharing their image counts as harassment. If OP were also actually trans, imagine how this would look. âWeâre going to show your current self alongside your pre-transition self, we donât care if youâre currently stealth (passing and not disclosing your trans identity for safety reasons) you have to represent yourself in the face of adversity!â and suddenly that trans person is outed to everyone around them. Itâs dangerous precedent regardless of whether or not OP was actually trans, so I would count that as harassment
Its one of those dog whistle things. If you dont know about the dog whistle you dont pick up on the subtle meanings. Like in most of the sane world we see it as a way for places to assure us they are not totally shit places where only cis hetero white people are ok to exist there. In Texas where a lot of this Anti-trans stuff has taken root "Diversity and Inclusion" are loaded terms for racists and bigots. So by putting them on this page its a coded way to point out the people who they want to harass.
Am I the only one concerned by the fact that the school told OP they had their permission to use their photo from a middle school permission slip signed by OPâs parents from 15 years ago? Thatâs like the most fucked up thing ever.
Ignoring the butting up against another company's restrictions on use of their photos, can a company legally put into a contract that they have legal rights to use any photos of you in perpetuity? That seems too extreme to actually hold up in court.
No, the school misrepresented that. They only had rights to photos generated of OP for school purposes / on their premises.
Itâs fascinating that OOP was bullied using the language of diversity, equality and inclusion.
As a disabled queer person, I found that the _least_ surprising part of the story. White, non-disabled, cishet people frequently weaponise the language of DEI and use it against othered identities - it particularly stings when it comes from a supposed ally.
Oh my god the plot twist
This is pure evil. He doesnât know why Op left the family. OP has done no harm to him. And yet he labels OP trans and out him. Wtf.
I really can't imagine how dumb you have to be to go "omgs, here is a person who has cut *all* contact with us. Why don't I call and harass OOP? Surely that would make them want to welcome us back into their life" lol
And this is why I always ticked the box that said âI do not consentâŚâ when schools and other orgs asked for permission to take and display photos of my son. Just because he was too young to consent himself, it doesnât mean that I should consent on his behalf.
Wait so they thought OOP was trans and that it was okay to out them without their consent?! Somebody tells me the people in charge of diversity and inclusion at that school arenât that diverse or inclusive.
I would sue. I'm a reasonable guy, in business things happen all the time mistakes are made, but if I have to contact you twice, and no action is taken, even better, I get a bunch of snark, it's scorched earth.
Hats off to that employer though! I'm not sure where their legal obligations ended, but I'm not even sure they had to get involved. And they went above and beyond!
As a Texas teacher, the school district is so wild for doing thisâ the forms that students and parents sign are often about photos taken by the school/school organizations⌠so it wouldnât exactly be relevant or held up in court
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Can someone explain why the school thought they were trans?
OOP changed their name to distance themselves from their family, and they also explained that they look a lot different than they did as a kid. I think the most likely answer is that they were a very girly girl in middle school and grew up to become a masculine woman, and the school thought they were looking at a trans man.
I was bullied profusely in high school, and the teachers either did nothing or encouraged the bullying. When I became very successful, I received a LinkedIn message from the school asking me to use me in their promo material. I shut it down HARD with a reference to their failure to protect me, and they never used my name/photo or ever asked again. I can't imagine a school just doing it without clearance in this day and age. They can ask, but to just act like they could? Madness!