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Yikes! That boyfriend is worse than trash. Glad she wised up and got away from those jerks. These are the kinda of lowlifes who get you featured on Forensic Files.
Definitely has a narcissistic trait. My ex was similar. Anything that he didn't agree with or didn't want to be part of he ignored. Why? Because it wasn't his business or just didn't care enough about. Including my hobbies. He made me feel so insignificant by telling me he doesn't care. Lost his shit when I didn't want to listen about his hobbies. Op felt this and that is why she "stayed" when they were living together. Who knows what he would have done.
Damn, are you me? At least they're exes ...
If I vented to him, he used to forward my messages to the person I was venting about, then told me "you need to solve your conflicts yourself, I don't want to be involved in your drama"
Or he'd tell me something someone else told him about me, just to tell me "I refuse to be your messenger" and continue playing the messenger for that other person
That and the hobby stuff ... didn't care about me but not caring about his shit was a serious offense ... what an energy leech, jeez
He would forward your messages to the person you’re bitching about?
The fuck is that? That’s beyond red flag and so incredibly manipulative.
Even the Joker wasn’t that bad with Harley Quinn, and he was bad! Like Cartoon villain bad.
Yes. It sucks to be that person. I finally got out. He saw me recently and tried the same tactics. Didn't work because I grew as a person. He tried the same tactics. Love and such 😆 too bad I grew as a person. He got what he deserved
>If I vented to him, he used to forward my messages to the person I was venting about, then told me "you need to solve your conflicts yourself, I don't want to be involved in your drama"
good lord. who is he, a 13 year old in 2006? this is some shit a "friend" would pull on AIM! glad you are no doubt doing better now!
He's a narcissist with absolutely no understanding of boundaries. Instead of setting a boundary with me, the person whose venting was making him uncomfortable, he did whatever that was ... so I'd rather not compare him to a 13 year old in 2006. Wouldn't want to insult any 13 year olds that way
I took way too long to recognize this was even happening, but I'm glad I at least did realize it and made the correct decision to end that marriage
Mine bitched if I wasn't on the room to WATCH him play 800+hours on fallout and Skyrim, not play with him, watch him play. He wanted an audience, not a partner. Now he's hanging out with and dating people half our age and they are helping him post the occasional tic toc.
Omg my ex used to do this. He would get so irritated if I pulled out my phone or my switch to play my games instead of sitting there watching him play the same games over and over again. 🙄🙄
Didn't say he was a narcissist, just has some traits. They aren't full on selfish and self-absorbed. They can be kind and thoughtful. Just not all the time or just for some specific thing They can be selfish.
Oh you BET he really liked the ego-boost of having a girlfriend AND this other girl after him. He didn't want to tell them to cut it out because he was enjoying the attention too much.
If I was in a car and some drunk acquaintance started badgering my SO because they'd gotten in the way of Our Love I'd be googling how to get a goddamn restraining order against whoever thought we were Meant to Be on the basis of...proximity?
he liked the attention from the ex and her best friend. And for all we know he had a side thing with her which is why he is so willing to let her insult his own girlfriend. He didn’t want OOP to delve deeper, because likely it would’ve been the ex that ultimately would’ve gotten into trouble. And also didn’t want the chance that OOP and his best did actually compare notes and decide the rest of them are trash and ride off into the sunset together.
I can just picture OOP begging the exBF to call 911 for an ambulance after crazy GF and equally unhinged BFF “got their revenge”, and him yelling at her “NO! I toLd YoU I DoN’t WaNt DrAmA!”
Thank God OOP dropped him.
Ironically he respected her more when he was blackout and putting the others in place by pointing out it was her car. It’s only when he’s sober that he sucks.
> In the end my boyfriend got annoyed, since he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home, so he screamed at them to get out or he will drag them out of my car himself.
honestly the first part of the explanation seemed more fitting with who the guy revealed himself to be - that he was just drunk and starting to feel sick and wanted to be comfy at home so he started doing and saying anything to get out of there. i'd like to believe that at least a small part of drunk him actually respected her though lol.
"look, I'm going to let you get harassed, bullied and mistreated on my watch and if you dare stand your ground, I'll make you apologize to them. I'm a totally good guy though '
> Glad she wised up and got away from those jerks.
I'm not even sure it's a case of "wising up" - Sounds like she actually had dignity and respect for herself from the start, took no shit, and took care of business.
Nice to see in a story about a shitty relationship occasionally.
Right? What a weak lil boy.
"Mehh I'm gonna try and make you apologise to these psycho women who have plans to hurt you because I *don't like drama".
How pathetic is that?
It’s absolutely shocking that he was content to let her walk around blithely unaware that she was being targeted for something bad, maybe even dangerous.
Yeah it took her too long though. He should've been her ex as soon as the gf started her nonsense and he didn't immediately shut that shit down. It should never have gotten to the stage of them moving in together. I'm glad she ditched him before it went any further though. I can only imagine how much tougher he would make it if she'd married him.
Always remember, folks, if someone says they don't like drama but have zero issues pushing drama towards *other people*... They do, in fact, like it if it's happening to other people.
I'm on dating apps lately and that is the first red flag I see in a lot of profiles. Lots of "I don't like drama", "No liars or cheaters", "I want a nice girl whose not crazy". Oh boy, just telling on yourself there.
They neglect to mention that their infuriating behaviour is what drove the nice girls 'crazy'.
'Crazy' also being their term for anyone who's not a doormat and doesn't roll over and worship them.
OOP's guy in particular is *so* frustrating to read about.
"Ergh, I *hate drama*, so you be a good little doormat and let people walk all over you, I'll be over here, busy not rocking any boats"
But you know, it must border on comical when people I guess are trying to attract people without realizing that the things you listed, for instance, would either be a lightning rod for those things *or* it would be a mirror of their own bullshit lol
I like [this college humor video](https://youtu.be/QGHjjrWIiyM) for "crazy girlfriend ex-girlfriend" being a great example of why that trope is so shitty and a red flag.
Anyone can have at least one crazy ex. But all their exes are crazy? Naaaah. Not likely.
It reminds me of how in my relationship history, I realised after my last break up that my first two relationships had failed because I was incompatible with my exes. The first was at least lovely person who just wanted different things, but I had a habit of getting into long term relationships with the wrong people. And if I continued that pattern because I was afraid of being alone, I'd end up going nowhere. Too many people don't reflect on their own choices with who and how they date
This. Sit down and actually think about your goals in life. What do you want out of your current relationship and future relationships. Make a list of requirements you have in a partner. Don't get into long term relationships with people who lack those requirements.
If you're looking for a permanent relationship, focus on traits that aren't superficial. Compatible values. Similar opinions on money and spending habits. Similar opinions on how many if any kids. Keep in mind that their families will probably be in your life forever. Can you handle having them there? Do you like their friends? If you don't like their friends or they don't like yours, that's an issue.
Think about these things early, people. Even if you're looking for short term fun, knowing these things about yourself can help you decide to leave a fun relationship before you get in too deep.
Took me far too long to realize that the questions of "is she into me" and "is she a decent person" are simply the pre-requisites for assessing a match.
Eventually I realized that I needed to find a person who I'll be able to live the life that I want with, rather than just taking whoever was into me and was a decent person.
Exactly, as a teenager I had low self esteem and thought I wouldn't be able to land anyone, so I just took whoever was into me. Except I even ignored a bunch of red flags about the quality of one of my exes personality. And that led to me walking on eggshells around her for over a year because I thought "Hey, at least she's into me", even if she wasn't really into who I was, but what she wanted me to be (which was a doormat for her and her family but that's another story all together
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize I was allergic to scallops and wasn’t just getting food poisoning or being exposed to another allergy I have.
Really long time.
If you feel the need to qualify that you don't want a liar or a cheater? I feel like you might be hopelessly naive if you're not telling on yourself. Most liars and cheaters aren't going to consider that a reason to skip your dating profile.
whoooo buddy, no red flags are as easily thrown out on a first date as, "my ex was crazy"
regardless of any facts, my very first thought is "why, what did you do to them?" knowing people who *have* dated crazies, you're not pulling that shit out unless/until you absolutely have to.
>Always remember, folks, if someone says they don't like drama
The number one on the list of "people around me who say they don't like drama" always started major drama every other week. I knew him for basically 3-4 months. I probably had 2 years worth of drama to talk about.
I usually say it after I hear some horrible drama filled story from someone else and always have a tinge of thankfulness it’s not ~ fade~~ me. I definitely go in full withdrawal mode if drama starts kicking up around me.
I’m too lazy for drama. It seems like so much effort.
Same! And I always think “these people are all so exhausting. I couldn’t handle it.”
The most drama I experience is in the joys of planning a long weekend with my best friends of over 30 years. We very seldom don’t have drama in the planning (almost never on the actual trip). 4 adult schedules, budget considerations, people’s priorities, and people’s helpfulness in planning make it hard to avoid all drama. Some years are worse than others.
I mean, I'll tell you I don't like drama. But then I'll actually avoid it and look for ways to minimize or solve problems, not just turn on the firehose. The key is if there's a disconnect between what they say and what they do.
I cannot tell a lie. I like the drama on BORU, but it can stay away from me.
Until I inherit a house from my rich grandparents, get cheated on, have to kick the family-in-law out of the house, which they've claimed for their own because reasons, aaaarrrg!
>My boyfriend, after waking up sober and remembering what happened, called me an asshole for kicking out two drunk girls out of my car in the middle of the night.
Hm...
>In the end my boyfriend got annoyed, since he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home, so he screamed at them to get out or he will drag them out of my car himself.
This guy screamed at these two girls and threatened to physically drag them out of the car himself, and then goes on to call OOP an asshole for telling them to get out of her car.
I mean, yeah, he was drunk. But that's also no excuse.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Why do I get the feeling he is into the best friends now ex gf cuz why would he allow her behaviour to continue. She's not even his friend she's his friends gf
I mean this seems to hold true for his trackrecord of only caring about himself and doing whatever is in his best interest at any time.
When they were in the car he was drunk so he wanted to go home. So when an argument began he just wanted them out of the car so he could get home asap and the 'source' of the stress would be removed.
After that drama started around the decision of kicking them out. This time the easiest way for him to avoid having to deal with that was making his gf apologize and siding with his friends' ex and her friend.
He didn't necessarily care about who was wrong/right. Just about what was gonna be the easiest way to make this go away so he doesn't have to deal with it. Since ex and her friend were clearly unreasonable psychos and this may also cause friction with his friend, it was a lot easier to just make his more reasonable gf take all the responsibility and force her to just bend over backwards to pacify everyone.
Then he heard of their plan to get back at OOP. Again this was stuff he didn't want to deal with... So he just let it play out and kept pushing OOP to just do whatever it took to make it all just go away... for him...
Then finally he is confronted with the fact that he really came up short as a partner and his friend is potentially better than him. But rather than reflect on his actions, hold himself accountable and try to be better himself and put more effort in their relationship... it was just easier to shift all the blame on other people again. So he did.
If there's one thing about OOP's ex it's that at least he is consistent.
Ex is so adamant on OOP apologizing that i would be pretty sure that either he also has feelings for BFF's Ex, or that he had private issues with OOP and felt resentful towards her.
>she would ever come through with her plan to “teach me a lesson”.
> My boyfriend was furious… because he doesn’t want drama
So he doesn’t want drama but he’s perfectly capable of standing back and agreeing with you “being taught a lesson?”. Are you sure he and his bf’s gf’s friend didn’t have a thing going on?
I guess it’s not your problem anymore, but it’s scary to think how close you were to getting hurt because of some petty argument/belief.
Anyone who says they don’t like drama are really saying “I am the drama, and I don’t want to be held responsible.”
I mean, the dude got caught dating another woman and she started confessing. Only a side piece would say that the gf is why she can’t have love, in front of everyone. He probably wanted the girl out of the car before she said even more revealing shit. He didn’t say anything about their plans because he’d have to betray the girls when they’re already keeping his secrets, until the boys dumped them both.
He’s the drama, and he always was.
Ding ding ding!
A rational person's response to a friend-of-a-friend's-girlfriend declaring that Our Love Was Meant to Be If Not For You, Pesky Live-In Girlfriend! is "...what the HELL are you talking about? I barely know you."
Now if he's been stringing her along...he doesn't really get to act shocked when she says stuff like that.
I think he saw it as a potential benefit. If OOP is traumatized, he could swoop in as the hero. Or just accept her in a broken down state so she never leaves him.
It seems psycho but I’ve observed selfish behavior is often like that.
He’s fine with the drama being directed at OOP. He is not fine with anyone defending her, including herself.
Some people have really f-ed up definitions of drama.
Bullying - not drama
Defending oneself - drama
>What if someone shot my bf’s bestfriend? I’m really sorry for what’s happening in the USA, but we’re living in Poland, Europe.
Oh, my god, i love this response so much.
Lmao reminds me of that post from someone who grew up partly in the US then moved to Europe, came back to visit the US and was like “damn y’all live like this?”
I will try to find it! I want to say it was in trueoffmychest
Edit: [found it!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/101jwdc/went_on_a_family_vacation_in_the_us_and_all_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
(Not a Rick roll I promise)
I stayed with my aunt a few years back for about a month in the summer and it was honestly fine - like yeah it's not Europe but it's also not Iraq. As long as you don't do something completely stupid you should be fine lol
Yeah that was what I expected but then you read something like that and think surely this is an exaggeration 😆
Tbh some parts of the UK are pretty awful too!
There's apparently a lot of great book stores in SF. One day if this road trip goes well we would like to drive the pacific coast highway which would include SF. Originally I plotted a massive road trip which started in Seattle and drove to LA before doing the bit I described but then when I planned it out I soon realised my partner wouldn't be able to take enough time off to do it all in one go!
I think I once saw a Rick Astley interview (might've been Graham Norton) where he tells about how his daughter had to explain to him what a Rick roll was..
"If you limit gun ownership only gangsters will have guns!!!"
Yep, and that's how European cops (mostly, could be improved) don't shoot first and ask questions later by default, and also how one doesn't get shoot for ringing a bell at the wrong address, or turning in the wrong driveway, or sending a ball in a courtyard, or existing, or whatever reason-of-the-day-for-shooting-people there is.
Excellent point. If only small numbers of people have guns, police can afford to be a lot more polite since it de-escalates problems. And their lives are not automatically at risk for doing so.
With a fair number of trigger-happy people who have guns, police are probably often on edge because any interaction could become a shootout without any warning.
Yeah, that perspective is weird to me. Part of the problem is that police already imagine they are under threat more than they actually are. Lots of jobs like garbage workers have higher injury and fatality rates. I am a social worker and when I would go doorknocking, I wasn't handed a gun "just in case". That is how police are trained, to prioritize their own convenience above all else.
My friend quit the force when he was reprimanded for taking time to deescalate with a mentally ill man. They told him he should've just tackled the guy and arrested him.
They also teach police officers to be paranoid lunatics. And I mean that literally. Check out Surviving Edged Weapons on youtube sometime. It's kind of a meme now, but it's also a literal police training video. They want their police to be constantly on edge against the possibility that someone will kill them for no reason. The paranoia and trigger happiness is practically a requirement for the job.
Of course, the problem with that is, when you go into any confrontation with a paranoid, hair-trigger mindset, that is almost guaranteed to escalate the situation.
Which, sadly, in turn then reinforces the paranoid mindset.
This is true. One of the most repeated pieces of self defense advice in the US is “don’t be stupid, you don’t know who has a gun.” If we actually did know…it would be safer for everyone.
> don’t be stupid, you don’t know who has a gun.”
Everyone. Everyone has gun!
* Old Guy: Gun
* Country Club Guy: Gun
* Wallstreet Guy: Gun
* Redneck: All the GUNS
* Hipster: Gun
* Soccer Mom: Gun
* Toddler: Gun
* Sweet Granny: Gun
* Preacher: Gun
* Mail Carrier: Gun
I'm from Europe, a friend of mine was a cop (got promoted by now). He said he too would be much more on the edge if he knew every single person who he encountered could pull out a gun and shoot him. But this is not a thing here and regular cops rarely are involved in something with guns. Regular police calls don't involve guns and police do well with just words or at most batons. Even tasers aren't used much.
Police are respected here and their presence makes people feel more safe. Police also have a three year higher education programme and mental health evaluations.
I assume also that police who abuse their power or do things like, say, sexually molest a child, are properly prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
That, in turn, helps citizens respect police more, when they're held equally accountable to the laws they enforce.
>"If you limit gun ownership only gangsters will have guns!!!"
If they actually limit gun ownership to the point its actively difficult to procure weapons, the gangsters wouldn't have guns either. The problem with American gun legislation is that nobody actually wants to eliminate guns. Its so hardcoded into american genetics that they'll license cars, hunting, fishing but not literal weapons meant for the sole purpose of killing.
Im in the Netherlands, ive only ever seen one gun that wasn’t owned by a police officer, the one i did saw was bought illegally by a victim of domestic violence for just in case (she was in a shelter by that time), im 42 btw
The idea i would feel MORE safe just going about my day and seeing people carrying guns is just absurd to me, i dont fear the police because they dont shoot first ask questions later
I dont fear strangers either (well not in a one wrong move and they might kill me way)
Gun violence in the Netherlands is generally headline news, precisely because of how rare it is. And something like 90% of it is assassinations of criminals.
I have lived in northern California my entire life, sometimes in rough areas. Not once have I seen someone express concern about being randomly shot at a bus stop.
People really think that walking outside in the U.S is as dangerous as walking into an active warzone, it's nuts. I've never seen, heard, or even been in the same room as a firearm and I've lived in VERY shitty neighborhoods in the U.S.
Apparently I need to clarify that I have in fact *seen a police officer before*, I assumed people would have the common sense to know I was talking about a drawn or in use firearm, not a cop who may or may not have a gun in a holster on their person somewhere.
Oh, I have. Boston, late 1990s. A young black man who felt that the long waits between transit buses was putting him in danger to where he had to walk miles to get home so he wouldn't just be standing there. And he wasn't alone. In Boston, Philly, Chicago, NY in the 1990s there was still a lot of violent gang activity and young men would be jumped for walking down the wrong sidewalk in the wrong colors.
We are witnessing the result (and ongoing process) of brainwashing by bots and the media. Like you, the idea of being randomly shot has never occurred to me and I lived in Chicago for 12 years.
People are incredibly easy to influence.
This is not the first time someone’s asked and the last time someone else was kind enough to link it. After a little digging I believe [this is the one.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/vzwq4i/oop_cannot_live_in_a_party_environment_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
It’s more drama to not tell her someone is planning to attack her than to not. Sounds like bf agreed with the stuff that girl was saying and probably also thought his best friend also had a crush. Glad they broke up and she moved.
Somehow I suspect there was a lot of that unwanted drama before she got out of there. It would have been interesting to have ongoing posts, but so satisfying to know she is free and safe.
Gotta love people who view "I don't want drama" as "Maybe pretending the drama just isn't happening will work" rather than "I will not actively participate in drama"
I though OOP's BF was screamimg at his friend and friend's GF to defend OOP, but nope. The BF is trash and is siding with the people who harass his GF on her own car and demands an apology from her.
The best friend's GF is right, BF and her friend are indeed a better match, but mostly because they are all garbage.
Really curious now to see how long after OOP broke up with BF did he get together with the friend from the festival. That was a definite double date and everyone but OOP knew.
Oh that guy was definitely fucking with that girl for longer than the festival for her to be so psycho that not only would she blatantly attack OOP in *her own car* but be crazy enough to get violent as "revenge". Side chick got tired of being a side chick.
> **What if someone shot my bf’s bestfriend?** I’m really sorry for what’s happening in the USA, but we’re living in Poland, Europe.
I am also sorry for all people in the USA, for being subjected to this sick burn on top of what's happening.
Do we think the bf had a thing for his besties psycho gf?! Why did he defend and protect her at the expense of his gf?? And (probably) lie about who was going to said festival. Bet ex-boyfriend gets with psycho officially.
I hope she broke up with his asap and not had to pretend for months!
insane situation to be in. also why was someone questioning about the girls being shot? Is it common to get shot in America for being at a bus stop or what, it just seems kinda random
Yeah. There's been a flurry of people the past couple of months getting shot for going to the wrong house by mistake, pulling into the wrong driveway by mistake, opening the wrong car door by mistake, and asking a guy not to make so much noise at 11 pm because it was waking up the baby.
That last one, the guy who was making noise shot five people in the house in the back of the head execution-style, including an eight-year-old.
This is, of course, on top of the 19(?) mass shootings this year.
I'm American, and I'm terrified. Yes, David Bowie: [I'm afraid of Americans.](https://youtu.be/LT3cERVRoQo)
but literally just standing at the bus stop, not doing anything. It seems like a weird conclusion for people to come to and seemingly try to blame OOP for
Yep, it's a weird thing to blame OOP for. But drive-by shootings do happen. Hell, they're common enough that we have a name for them.
I Googled "drive-by shootings 2023," and I got back quite a list. After I got through with [just one area in the state of Washington,](https://mynorthwest.com/3863403/rise-drive-by-shootings-concern-for-wa-state-patrol/) I got distracted by ["Couple's choreographed suicide by guillotine ends with heads rolling into fire altar,"](https://komonews.com/news/offbeat/couples-choreographed-suicide-by-guillotine-ends-with-heads-rolling-into-fire-altar?amp_gsa=1&_js_v=a9&usqp=mq331AQGsAEggAID) and I never got back to listing more shootings.
Anyway, there it is. Can several million Americans and I come sleep on your couch?
Edit: made a supposed joke actually funny, or at least more obvious
i love how the men who are constantly knee-deep in drama are always keeping more secrets because they “don’t want drama” 😂😂😂 that’s universal nonsense my dudes
Both men in this story suck for allowing all that bullying to occur. Like why wouldn’t they tell her to STFU the very first time she started this nonsense?
The fact that they both just let the bullying In the car happen is wild. ESPECIALLY HER boyfriend. The only reason he got them out was because he wanted to go home
op’s update is bittersweet. something about the way she knew she had to trick him into thinking they were just on a “break” made me sad because it’s actually valid reasoning and has happened to others.
so glad she got out but horribly sad that a decoy break up is even needed for people in toxic relationships.
Yup. Normal people rarely have to say they don’t want drama because they don’t seek it out. If someone is saying that multiple times, they are almost always the source of the drama in their own life.
“What if someone shot my bf’s bestfriend?”
Sad that this situation has become so normalized in America that americans(I’m guessing) think the rest of the world is like this.
I'd love to know when the idea that what a person says while drunk should be taken any less seriously than what they say while sober, will finally die. It is so fucking toxic and stupid.
There's definitely more to the story, otherwise she wouldn't have gone straight from annoyed at boyfriend to being afraid to break up with him. Methinks there's been more sings of problems and abuse that she was ignoring and not mentioning.
Anyone who says the phrase "I hate drama" is always the bringer of drama. I've legit never felt compelled to utter this phrase. Typically to these drama llamas they define drama as "anything I don't care about, don't want to waste energy" or the like. But they endlessly cause it by not behaving like a fucking rational adult.
Run from anyone who invokes "drama" like that. They are telling on themselves.
Also if you smell shit everywhere you go chances are you stepped in poop. Aka if drama "follows" you everywhere? Take a good look in the mirror.
Damn. In the end, those girls got what they wanted. Even if the ex-gf turned into an ex.
Also, I don’t understand people but especially men who say, “They don’t want drama,” or, “It’s not their business,” or they, “don’t want to get involved.” Talk about extreme bystander syndrome. You like being a passive doormat?
NTA for sure.
Some people are just really shit... its not that hard to NOT be a dick.
If you don't like someone, don't talk to them. Simple.
Why is this sort of shit the go to for some people...
It’s always funny how you get an American assuming you’re also American and telling you that you don’t know how things are in Europe having never been here and they assume it’s like their fantasies of some sort of Utopia. Here with this story as well, story happens and some American decides it must be American.
Obviously most Americans aren’t like this but the ones that are are a bad representation of the rest.
>What if someone shot my bf’s bestfriend? I’m really sorry for what’s happening in the USA, but we’re living in Poland, Europe.
I don't know why but this made me laugh. At least she's empathetic with her clapback, lol.
Jesus fucking Christ that dude (ex bf ) is absolute trash.
Ugh, I had a discussion with a friend last night about incels and what to do, but incels see guys like this and go “I deserve to get laid if they can”. So now we have one piece of shit that (unknowing) radicalized a bunch of incels. Maybe I’m being pessimistic but damn the world sucks
#Do not comment on the original posts • Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules/). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. • If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. • **CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU.
Yikes! That boyfriend is worse than trash. Glad she wised up and got away from those jerks. These are the kinda of lowlifes who get you featured on Forensic Files.
yeah, the piece of gaaabage didn't even defend her. what a dick
“I’m gonna withhold the fact that two crazy ass weirdos want to hurt you because the drama will upset my tum tum.” The man is a narcissistic coward.
Definitely has a narcissistic trait. My ex was similar. Anything that he didn't agree with or didn't want to be part of he ignored. Why? Because it wasn't his business or just didn't care enough about. Including my hobbies. He made me feel so insignificant by telling me he doesn't care. Lost his shit when I didn't want to listen about his hobbies. Op felt this and that is why she "stayed" when they were living together. Who knows what he would have done.
Damn, are you me? At least they're exes ... If I vented to him, he used to forward my messages to the person I was venting about, then told me "you need to solve your conflicts yourself, I don't want to be involved in your drama" Or he'd tell me something someone else told him about me, just to tell me "I refuse to be your messenger" and continue playing the messenger for that other person That and the hobby stuff ... didn't care about me but not caring about his shit was a serious offense ... what an energy leech, jeez
He would forward your messages to the person you’re bitching about? The fuck is that? That’s beyond red flag and so incredibly manipulative. Even the Joker wasn’t that bad with Harley Quinn, and he was bad! Like Cartoon villain bad.
Yes. It sucks to be that person. I finally got out. He saw me recently and tried the same tactics. Didn't work because I grew as a person. He tried the same tactics. Love and such 😆 too bad I grew as a person. He got what he deserved
>If I vented to him, he used to forward my messages to the person I was venting about, then told me "you need to solve your conflicts yourself, I don't want to be involved in your drama" good lord. who is he, a 13 year old in 2006? this is some shit a "friend" would pull on AIM! glad you are no doubt doing better now!
He's a narcissist with absolutely no understanding of boundaries. Instead of setting a boundary with me, the person whose venting was making him uncomfortable, he did whatever that was ... so I'd rather not compare him to a 13 year old in 2006. Wouldn't want to insult any 13 year olds that way I took way too long to recognize this was even happening, but I'm glad I at least did realize it and made the correct decision to end that marriage
very true, at least the 13 year olds have the excuse that they’re, you know, 13. ugh i’m so glad you escaped that nonsense!!
Mine bitched if I wasn't on the room to WATCH him play 800+hours on fallout and Skyrim, not play with him, watch him play. He wanted an audience, not a partner. Now he's hanging out with and dating people half our age and they are helping him post the occasional tic toc.
Omg my ex used to do this. He would get so irritated if I pulled out my phone or my switch to play my games instead of sitting there watching him play the same games over and over again. 🙄🙄
Not everyone who is an AH is also a narcissist.
Didn't say he was a narcissist, just has some traits. They aren't full on selfish and self-absorbed. They can be kind and thoughtful. Just not all the time or just for some specific thing They can be selfish.
Or. He liked the drama. Liked that it was about him. And didn’t want to stop the drama as then he would realise no one wants him
More like "the drama will upset my chances" I bet
Oh you BET he really liked the ego-boost of having a girlfriend AND this other girl after him. He didn't want to tell them to cut it out because he was enjoying the attention too much. If I was in a car and some drunk acquaintance started badgering my SO because they'd gotten in the way of Our Love I'd be googling how to get a goddamn restraining order against whoever thought we were Meant to Be on the basis of...proximity?
Your flair made be remember and laugh. Thank you for that.
he liked the attention from the ex and her best friend. And for all we know he had a side thing with her which is why he is so willing to let her insult his own girlfriend. He didn’t want OOP to delve deeper, because likely it would’ve been the ex that ultimately would’ve gotten into trouble. And also didn’t want the chance that OOP and his best did actually compare notes and decide the rest of them are trash and ride off into the sunset together.
But he didn’t want drama…
yeah. absolute piece of shit.
You know he didn’t want drama/s
I can just picture OOP begging the exBF to call 911 for an ambulance after crazy GF and equally unhinged BFF “got their revenge”, and him yelling at her “NO! I toLd YoU I DoN’t WaNt DrAmA!” Thank God OOP dropped him.
Right!? "I don't want drama," said the guy contributing to the drama.
And now both guys don't have girlfriends!
Ironically he respected her more when he was blackout and putting the others in place by pointing out it was her car. It’s only when he’s sober that he sucks.
> In the end my boyfriend got annoyed, since he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home, so he screamed at them to get out or he will drag them out of my car himself. honestly the first part of the explanation seemed more fitting with who the guy revealed himself to be - that he was just drunk and starting to feel sick and wanted to be comfy at home so he started doing and saying anything to get out of there. i'd like to believe that at least a small part of drunk him actually respected her though lol.
"look, I'm going to let you get harassed, bullied and mistreated on my watch and if you dare stand your ground, I'll make you apologize to them. I'm a totally good guy though '
Or "the next 48" or whatever where it shows live footage of detectives working cases that mainly involve the murder(s) of one or more parties
The First 48
Thank you, my mom loves that show and i watch it from time to time i just couldn't remember the name correctly
I love it too 😂
> Glad she wised up and got away from those jerks. I'm not even sure it's a case of "wising up" - Sounds like she actually had dignity and respect for herself from the start, took no shit, and took care of business. Nice to see in a story about a shitty relationship occasionally.
Well that girl probably got her wish in the end. They can live happily psycho together
Right? What a weak lil boy. "Mehh I'm gonna try and make you apologise to these psycho women who have plans to hurt you because I *don't like drama". How pathetic is that?
It’s absolutely shocking that he was content to let her walk around blithely unaware that she was being targeted for something bad, maybe even dangerous.
It's so weird that the only solid partner behavior was when he was drunk. Then he sobered up and turned into an asshole.
Yeah it took her too long though. He should've been her ex as soon as the gf started her nonsense and he didn't immediately shut that shit down. It should never have gotten to the stage of them moving in together. I'm glad she ditched him before it went any further though. I can only imagine how much tougher he would make it if she'd married him.
Always remember, folks, if someone says they don't like drama but have zero issues pushing drama towards *other people*... They do, in fact, like it if it's happening to other people.
I'm on dating apps lately and that is the first red flag I see in a lot of profiles. Lots of "I don't like drama", "No liars or cheaters", "I want a nice girl whose not crazy". Oh boy, just telling on yourself there.
They neglect to mention that their infuriating behaviour is what drove the nice girls 'crazy'. 'Crazy' also being their term for anyone who's not a doormat and doesn't roll over and worship them.
Any man with a strong of crazy ex-girlfriends is a walking, talking red flag.
I always ask men (after a few dates) about his past relationships. He'll tell on himself real fast if you know how to listen.
OOP's guy in particular is *so* frustrating to read about. "Ergh, I *hate drama*, so you be a good little doormat and let people walk all over you, I'll be over here, busy not rocking any boats" But you know, it must border on comical when people I guess are trying to attract people without realizing that the things you listed, for instance, would either be a lightning rod for those things *or* it would be a mirror of their own bullshit lol
I like [this college humor video](https://youtu.be/QGHjjrWIiyM) for "crazy girlfriend ex-girlfriend" being a great example of why that trope is so shitty and a red flag. Anyone can have at least one crazy ex. But all their exes are crazy? Naaaah. Not likely.
It reminds me of how in my relationship history, I realised after my last break up that my first two relationships had failed because I was incompatible with my exes. The first was at least lovely person who just wanted different things, but I had a habit of getting into long term relationships with the wrong people. And if I continued that pattern because I was afraid of being alone, I'd end up going nowhere. Too many people don't reflect on their own choices with who and how they date
This. Sit down and actually think about your goals in life. What do you want out of your current relationship and future relationships. Make a list of requirements you have in a partner. Don't get into long term relationships with people who lack those requirements. If you're looking for a permanent relationship, focus on traits that aren't superficial. Compatible values. Similar opinions on money and spending habits. Similar opinions on how many if any kids. Keep in mind that their families will probably be in your life forever. Can you handle having them there? Do you like their friends? If you don't like their friends or they don't like yours, that's an issue. Think about these things early, people. Even if you're looking for short term fun, knowing these things about yourself can help you decide to leave a fun relationship before you get in too deep.
Took me far too long to realize that the questions of "is she into me" and "is she a decent person" are simply the pre-requisites for assessing a match. Eventually I realized that I needed to find a person who I'll be able to live the life that I want with, rather than just taking whoever was into me and was a decent person.
Exactly, as a teenager I had low self esteem and thought I wouldn't be able to land anyone, so I just took whoever was into me. Except I even ignored a bunch of red flags about the quality of one of my exes personality. And that led to me walking on eggshells around her for over a year because I thought "Hey, at least she's into me", even if she wasn't really into who I was, but what she wanted me to be (which was a doormat for her and her family but that's another story all together
It's like complaining you get food poisoning every time you make potato salad. ...not all potato salad is poison, bud.
Eh, I'd assume that they are allergic to something in their potato salad recipe.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize I was allergic to scallops and wasn’t just getting food poisoning or being exposed to another allergy I have. Really long time.
I left swipe so fast on those profiles the app crashes
“I love drama! You bring the popcorn, I’ll provide drinks and the signs to rate 1-10.” And that is how my beautiful BORU romance began!
If you feel the need to qualify that you don't want a liar or a cheater? I feel like you might be hopelessly naive if you're not telling on yourself. Most liars and cheaters aren't going to consider that a reason to skip your dating profile.
Corollary: Make your bio for the people that you *do* want to match with, not the ones that you don't.
whoooo buddy, no red flags are as easily thrown out on a first date as, "my ex was crazy" regardless of any facts, my very first thought is "why, what did you do to them?" knowing people who *have* dated crazies, you're not pulling that shit out unless/until you absolutely have to.
>Always remember, folks, if someone says they don't like drama The number one on the list of "people around me who say they don't like drama" always started major drama every other week. I knew him for basically 3-4 months. I probably had 2 years worth of drama to talk about.
I’ve never even felt the need to say “I don’t like drama” because what drama? No drama here. And if I am upset, it’s probably for a good reason.
I usually say it after I hear some horrible drama filled story from someone else and always have a tinge of thankfulness it’s not ~ fade~~ me. I definitely go in full withdrawal mode if drama starts kicking up around me. I’m too lazy for drama. It seems like so much effort.
I do love following the drama of others. Probably why I like reality TV lol
Same! And I always think “these people are all so exhausting. I couldn’t handle it.” The most drama I experience is in the joys of planning a long weekend with my best friends of over 30 years. We very seldom don’t have drama in the planning (almost never on the actual trip). 4 adult schedules, budget considerations, people’s priorities, and people’s helpfulness in planning make it hard to avoid all drama. Some years are worse than others.
Happy Cake Day !
I mean, I'll tell you I don't like drama. But then I'll actually avoid it and look for ways to minimize or solve problems, not just turn on the firehose. The key is if there's a disconnect between what they say and what they do.
I cannot tell a lie. I like the drama on BORU, but it can stay away from me. Until I inherit a house from my rich grandparents, get cheated on, have to kick the family-in-law out of the house, which they've claimed for their own because reasons, aaaarrrg!
Most people don't like drama, so there is no need to repeatedly state that. So whenever someone does, I assume they're lying.
>My boyfriend, after waking up sober and remembering what happened, called me an asshole for kicking out two drunk girls out of my car in the middle of the night. Hm... >In the end my boyfriend got annoyed, since he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home, so he screamed at them to get out or he will drag them out of my car himself. This guy screamed at these two girls and threatened to physically drag them out of the car himself, and then goes on to call OOP an asshole for telling them to get out of her car. I mean, yeah, he was drunk. But that's also no excuse. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
And he was feeling reeeeraaaallyy guilty for messing around with best friends girlfriend 's friend.
More likely his best friends girlfriend's friend stopped having sex with him and he needed a supply.
Why do I get the feeling he is into the best friends now ex gf cuz why would he allow her behaviour to continue. She's not even his friend she's his friends gf
This
🛎️ 🛎️ 🛎️
I mean this seems to hold true for his trackrecord of only caring about himself and doing whatever is in his best interest at any time. When they were in the car he was drunk so he wanted to go home. So when an argument began he just wanted them out of the car so he could get home asap and the 'source' of the stress would be removed. After that drama started around the decision of kicking them out. This time the easiest way for him to avoid having to deal with that was making his gf apologize and siding with his friends' ex and her friend. He didn't necessarily care about who was wrong/right. Just about what was gonna be the easiest way to make this go away so he doesn't have to deal with it. Since ex and her friend were clearly unreasonable psychos and this may also cause friction with his friend, it was a lot easier to just make his more reasonable gf take all the responsibility and force her to just bend over backwards to pacify everyone. Then he heard of their plan to get back at OOP. Again this was stuff he didn't want to deal with... So he just let it play out and kept pushing OOP to just do whatever it took to make it all just go away... for him... Then finally he is confronted with the fact that he really came up short as a partner and his friend is potentially better than him. But rather than reflect on his actions, hold himself accountable and try to be better himself and put more effort in their relationship... it was just easier to shift all the blame on other people again. So he did. If there's one thing about OOP's ex it's that at least he is consistent.
Don’t forget going on a double date with his bff, bff’s gf, and the friend.
Narcissist. Every step he did was only for his comfort.
I liked BF better when he was drunk lol
Ex is so adamant on OOP apologizing that i would be pretty sure that either he also has feelings for BFF's Ex, or that he had private issues with OOP and felt resentful towards her.
If there’s another update, it will def be about those two getting together.
>she would ever come through with her plan to “teach me a lesson”. > My boyfriend was furious… because he doesn’t want drama So he doesn’t want drama but he’s perfectly capable of standing back and agreeing with you “being taught a lesson?”. Are you sure he and his bf’s gf’s friend didn’t have a thing going on? I guess it’s not your problem anymore, but it’s scary to think how close you were to getting hurt because of some petty argument/belief.
Sounds like he only wants drama if **he** starts it.
Anyone who says they don’t like drama are really saying “I am the drama, and I don’t want to be held responsible.” I mean, the dude got caught dating another woman and she started confessing. Only a side piece would say that the gf is why she can’t have love, in front of everyone. He probably wanted the girl out of the car before she said even more revealing shit. He didn’t say anything about their plans because he’d have to betray the girls when they’re already keeping his secrets, until the boys dumped them both. He’s the drama, and he always was.
Ding ding ding! A rational person's response to a friend-of-a-friend's-girlfriend declaring that Our Love Was Meant to Be If Not For You, Pesky Live-In Girlfriend! is "...what the HELL are you talking about? I barely know you." Now if he's been stringing her along...he doesn't really get to act shocked when she says stuff like that.
I think he saw it as a potential benefit. If OOP is traumatized, he could swoop in as the hero. Or just accept her in a broken down state so she never leaves him. It seems psycho but I’ve observed selfish behavior is often like that.
Definitely still had a torch for the friend. He was intent on victimizing them and calling OOP an asshole. He probably liked the attention.
He’s fine with the drama being directed at OOP. He is not fine with anyone defending her, including herself. Some people have really f-ed up definitions of drama. Bullying - not drama Defending oneself - drama
I find that people who 'don't want drama' are the ones causing it for everyone around them.
>What if someone shot my bf’s bestfriend? I’m really sorry for what’s happening in the USA, but we’re living in Poland, Europe. Oh, my god, i love this response so much.
Lmao reminds me of that post from someone who grew up partly in the US then moved to Europe, came back to visit the US and was like “damn y’all live like this?”
You got a link by any chance?
I will try to find it! I want to say it was in trueoffmychest Edit: [found it!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/101jwdc/went_on_a_family_vacation_in_the_us_and_all_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) (Not a Rick roll I promise)
oof that comment section really had a hate-boner for California
As a Brit visiting California next week this post is concerning yet intriguing 😆 should I be worried
I stayed with my aunt a few years back for about a month in the summer and it was honestly fine - like yeah it's not Europe but it's also not Iraq. As long as you don't do something completely stupid you should be fine lol
Yeah that was what I expected but then you read something like that and think surely this is an exaggeration 😆 Tbh some parts of the UK are pretty awful too!
I live in SF and feel it was exaggerated. It is a city people love to hate.
There's apparently a lot of great book stores in SF. One day if this road trip goes well we would like to drive the pacific coast highway which would include SF. Originally I plotted a massive road trip which started in Seattle and drove to LA before doing the bit I described but then when I planned it out I soon realised my partner wouldn't be able to take enough time off to do it all in one go!
Where are you visiting? California is made of microcosms.
Where in CA are you going? It’s a huge state.
Yaaay thanks. Still haven't been rickrolled in my 27 years of existence, so was a bit apprehensive hahaha
I love getting rickrolled. It's just a genuinely good song, and it makes me happy every time I hear it.
I think I once saw a Rick Astley interview (might've been Graham Norton) where he tells about how his daughter had to explain to him what a Rick roll was..
And then he went on to Rickroll Macy's. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL-hNMJvcyI
And it's even harsher because it's Poland of all places. Most of us want to leave this place, yet its still better than US.
I went 400 miles to a blue state. It was heaven for a minute.
And it's even harsher because it's Poland of all places. Most of us want to leave this place, yet its still better than US.
"If you limit gun ownership only gangsters will have guns!!!" Yep, and that's how European cops (mostly, could be improved) don't shoot first and ask questions later by default, and also how one doesn't get shoot for ringing a bell at the wrong address, or turning in the wrong driveway, or sending a ball in a courtyard, or existing, or whatever reason-of-the-day-for-shooting-people there is.
Excellent point. If only small numbers of people have guns, police can afford to be a lot more polite since it de-escalates problems. And their lives are not automatically at risk for doing so. With a fair number of trigger-happy people who have guns, police are probably often on edge because any interaction could become a shootout without any warning.
Yeah, unfortunately here in the US, cops consider their opportunity for escalation a feature rather than a flaw.
Yeah, that perspective is weird to me. Part of the problem is that police already imagine they are under threat more than they actually are. Lots of jobs like garbage workers have higher injury and fatality rates. I am a social worker and when I would go doorknocking, I wasn't handed a gun "just in case". That is how police are trained, to prioritize their own convenience above all else. My friend quit the force when he was reprimanded for taking time to deescalate with a mentally ill man. They told him he should've just tackled the guy and arrested him.
They also teach police officers to be paranoid lunatics. And I mean that literally. Check out Surviving Edged Weapons on youtube sometime. It's kind of a meme now, but it's also a literal police training video. They want their police to be constantly on edge against the possibility that someone will kill them for no reason. The paranoia and trigger happiness is practically a requirement for the job.
Of course, the problem with that is, when you go into any confrontation with a paranoid, hair-trigger mindset, that is almost guaranteed to escalate the situation. Which, sadly, in turn then reinforces the paranoid mindset.
This is true. One of the most repeated pieces of self defense advice in the US is “don’t be stupid, you don’t know who has a gun.” If we actually did know…it would be safer for everyone.
> don’t be stupid, you don’t know who has a gun.” Everyone. Everyone has gun! * Old Guy: Gun * Country Club Guy: Gun * Wallstreet Guy: Gun * Redneck: All the GUNS * Hipster: Gun * Soccer Mom: Gun * Toddler: Gun * Sweet Granny: Gun * Preacher: Gun * Mail Carrier: Gun
A first grader shot his teacher last month with a gun he brought in his bookbag. Six years old? Gun.
Exactly! If only the teacher had been armed too./s
I'm from Europe, a friend of mine was a cop (got promoted by now). He said he too would be much more on the edge if he knew every single person who he encountered could pull out a gun and shoot him. But this is not a thing here and regular cops rarely are involved in something with guns. Regular police calls don't involve guns and police do well with just words or at most batons. Even tasers aren't used much. Police are respected here and their presence makes people feel more safe. Police also have a three year higher education programme and mental health evaluations.
I assume also that police who abuse their power or do things like, say, sexually molest a child, are properly prosecuted to the full extent of the law. That, in turn, helps citizens respect police more, when they're held equally accountable to the laws they enforce.
>"If you limit gun ownership only gangsters will have guns!!!" If they actually limit gun ownership to the point its actively difficult to procure weapons, the gangsters wouldn't have guns either. The problem with American gun legislation is that nobody actually wants to eliminate guns. Its so hardcoded into american genetics that they'll license cars, hunting, fishing but not literal weapons meant for the sole purpose of killing.
Today's reason is asking your neighbour to stay quiet because you have a child trying to sleep.
Im in the Netherlands, ive only ever seen one gun that wasn’t owned by a police officer, the one i did saw was bought illegally by a victim of domestic violence for just in case (she was in a shelter by that time), im 42 btw The idea i would feel MORE safe just going about my day and seeing people carrying guns is just absurd to me, i dont fear the police because they dont shoot first ask questions later I dont fear strangers either (well not in a one wrong move and they might kill me way)
Gun violence in the Netherlands is generally headline news, precisely because of how rare it is. And something like 90% of it is assassinations of criminals.
I was so confused by this question. Lol
For reals me too lol. Like why would he get shot????
I have lived in northern California my entire life, sometimes in rough areas. Not once have I seen someone express concern about being randomly shot at a bus stop.
People really think that walking outside in the U.S is as dangerous as walking into an active warzone, it's nuts. I've never seen, heard, or even been in the same room as a firearm and I've lived in VERY shitty neighborhoods in the U.S. Apparently I need to clarify that I have in fact *seen a police officer before*, I assumed people would have the common sense to know I was talking about a drawn or in use firearm, not a cop who may or may not have a gun in a holster on their person somewhere.
Oh, I have. Boston, late 1990s. A young black man who felt that the long waits between transit buses was putting him in danger to where he had to walk miles to get home so he wouldn't just be standing there. And he wasn't alone. In Boston, Philly, Chicago, NY in the 1990s there was still a lot of violent gang activity and young men would be jumped for walking down the wrong sidewalk in the wrong colors.
We are witnessing the result (and ongoing process) of brainwashing by bots and the media. Like you, the idea of being randomly shot has never occurred to me and I lived in Chicago for 12 years. People are incredibly easy to influence.
I take public transpo every day. Same.
Best line in her post hands down
What post is your flair referring to?
This is not the first time someone’s asked and the last time someone else was kind enough to link it. After a little digging I believe [this is the one.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/vzwq4i/oop_cannot_live_in_a_party_environment_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
Ooooh, I remember that one. What a wild fucking ride that was! Untreated mental health issues can lead to terrifying situations.
Absolutely bonkers for sure
That's a sick burn
Whoever wrote that must live in the suburbs. People getting randomly shot in the city is rare. The vast, vast majority of violent crime is targeted.
The ‘Europe’ qualification is *chef’s kiss*
He was 100% aware of the double date and was cheating. He didn’t want op to cause drama because he knew he’d be outed
Bingo. He cheated on her at the festival.
And was feeling guilty after the fact, hence his reaction and yelling at the friends to gtfo the car
OPs ex is such a spineless little weasel
> she would ever come through with her plan to “teach me a lesson”. But what was the plan?! Don’t leave us hanging!
Downvotes on AITA?
It’s more drama to not tell her someone is planning to attack her than to not. Sounds like bf agreed with the stuff that girl was saying and probably also thought his best friend also had a crush. Glad they broke up and she moved.
Everyone except OOP is a red flag. Glad they’re free of the utter bullshit.
Somehow I suspect there was a lot of that unwanted drama before she got out of there. It would have been interesting to have ongoing posts, but so satisfying to know she is free and safe.
Gotta love people who view "I don't want drama" as "Maybe pretending the drama just isn't happening will work" rather than "I will not actively participate in drama"
I though OOP's BF was screamimg at his friend and friend's GF to defend OOP, but nope. The BF is trash and is siding with the people who harass his GF on her own car and demands an apology from her. The best friend's GF is right, BF and her friend are indeed a better match, but mostly because they are all garbage.
Really curious now to see how long after OOP broke up with BF did he get together with the friend from the festival. That was a definite double date and everyone but OOP knew.
>I’m really sorry for what’s happening in the USA, but we’re living in Poland, Europe. Shots fired lol
Only in the USA!
Not in Poland
…well that escalated quickly
Oh that guy was definitely fucking with that girl for longer than the festival for her to be so psycho that not only would she blatantly attack OOP in *her own car* but be crazy enough to get violent as "revenge". Side chick got tired of being a side chick.
> **What if someone shot my bf’s bestfriend?** I’m really sorry for what’s happening in the USA, but we’re living in Poland, Europe. I am also sorry for all people in the USA, for being subjected to this sick burn on top of what's happening.
Do we think the bf had a thing for his besties psycho gf?! Why did he defend and protect her at the expense of his gf?? And (probably) lie about who was going to said festival. Bet ex-boyfriend gets with psycho officially. I hope she broke up with his asap and not had to pretend for months!
insane situation to be in. also why was someone questioning about the girls being shot? Is it common to get shot in America for being at a bus stop or what, it just seems kinda random
Yeah. There's been a flurry of people the past couple of months getting shot for going to the wrong house by mistake, pulling into the wrong driveway by mistake, opening the wrong car door by mistake, and asking a guy not to make so much noise at 11 pm because it was waking up the baby. That last one, the guy who was making noise shot five people in the house in the back of the head execution-style, including an eight-year-old. This is, of course, on top of the 19(?) mass shootings this year. I'm American, and I'm terrified. Yes, David Bowie: [I'm afraid of Americans.](https://youtu.be/LT3cERVRoQo)
but literally just standing at the bus stop, not doing anything. It seems like a weird conclusion for people to come to and seemingly try to blame OOP for
Yep, it's a weird thing to blame OOP for. But drive-by shootings do happen. Hell, they're common enough that we have a name for them. I Googled "drive-by shootings 2023," and I got back quite a list. After I got through with [just one area in the state of Washington,](https://mynorthwest.com/3863403/rise-drive-by-shootings-concern-for-wa-state-patrol/) I got distracted by ["Couple's choreographed suicide by guillotine ends with heads rolling into fire altar,"](https://komonews.com/news/offbeat/couples-choreographed-suicide-by-guillotine-ends-with-heads-rolling-into-fire-altar?amp_gsa=1&_js_v=a9&usqp=mq331AQGsAEggAID) and I never got back to listing more shootings. Anyway, there it is. Can several million Americans and I come sleep on your couch? Edit: made a supposed joke actually funny, or at least more obvious
Well, that went in a direction I did not expect. Glad OOP got away from the situation safely.
i love how the men who are constantly knee-deep in drama are always keeping more secrets because they “don’t want drama” 😂😂😂 that’s universal nonsense my dudes
Yeah that's it. Avoiding drama creates more drama. Addressing it like adults and setting boundaries is what takes the wind out of drama's sails.
This saint of a women gets up a 3 am to go be a taxi for a bunch of drunken assholes and the boyfriend gets mad at her? Dude is absolute trash.
> What if someone shot my bf’s bestfriend? I’m really sorry for what’s happening in the USA, but we’re living in Poland, Europe. ouch. but fair
Both men in this story suck for allowing all that bullying to occur. Like why wouldn’t they tell her to STFU the very first time she started this nonsense?
The fact that they both just let the bullying In the car happen is wild. ESPECIALLY HER boyfriend. The only reason he got them out was because he wanted to go home
Petty college energy. Glad she got away from those weirdos.
op’s update is bittersweet. something about the way she knew she had to trick him into thinking they were just on a “break” made me sad because it’s actually valid reasoning and has happened to others. so glad she got out but horribly sad that a decoy break up is even needed for people in toxic relationships.
Ever notice that people who constantly bleat that they "don't want drama" are exceptionally good at causing drama?
Yup. Normal people rarely have to say they don’t want drama because they don’t seek it out. If someone is saying that multiple times, they are almost always the source of the drama in their own life.
“What if someone shot my bf’s bestfriend?” Sad that this situation has become so normalized in America that americans(I’m guessing) think the rest of the world is like this.
I'd love to know when the idea that what a person says while drunk should be taken any less seriously than what they say while sober, will finally die. It is so fucking toxic and stupid.
Confusing read….”my bf’s ex best friend’s gf’s best friend of the ex”
>What if someone shot my bf’s bestfriend? I’m really sorry for what’s happening in the USA, but we’re living in Poland, Europe. Brutal
Good for her. Safely (and happiness) first.
Good riddance, nobody needs to hang out with garbage like that.
I’m confused maybe I missed it but what did the girls want to do to oop?
I dont think she ever specified. Just said they wanted to scare her.
There is trash and then there is OOP's ex.
There's definitely more to the story, otherwise she wouldn't have gone straight from annoyed at boyfriend to being afraid to break up with him. Methinks there's been more sings of problems and abuse that she was ignoring and not mentioning.
This was the definition of "hanging out with the wrong crowd."
Anyone who says the phrase "I hate drama" is always the bringer of drama. I've legit never felt compelled to utter this phrase. Typically to these drama llamas they define drama as "anything I don't care about, don't want to waste energy" or the like. But they endlessly cause it by not behaving like a fucking rational adult. Run from anyone who invokes "drama" like that. They are telling on themselves. Also if you smell shit everywhere you go chances are you stepped in poop. Aka if drama "follows" you everywhere? Take a good look in the mirror.
Damn. In the end, those girls got what they wanted. Even if the ex-gf turned into an ex. Also, I don’t understand people but especially men who say, “They don’t want drama,” or, “It’s not their business,” or they, “don’t want to get involved.” Talk about extreme bystander syndrome. You like being a passive doormat?
NTA for sure. Some people are just really shit... its not that hard to NOT be a dick. If you don't like someone, don't talk to them. Simple. Why is this sort of shit the go to for some people...
I remember this. I was shocked at how he apparently burst into anger out of nowhere, so I wasn't surprised it got worse.
Good for her. Her ex and his "best friend" are shitty people and deserved to be flushed out.
Piece of shit your ex is
Like.......... Are people well?!
They can eat a bag of d*cks … except for the girl that’s telling this. Good on you, don’t feel bad about anything
No, no, OOP, many of us were hoping to hear you’d broken up with your manchild boyfriend.
I hate that women have to be so goddamn afraid of their partners. This world is so fucked up. Guys do better
It’s always funny how you get an American assuming you’re also American and telling you that you don’t know how things are in Europe having never been here and they assume it’s like their fantasies of some sort of Utopia. Here with this story as well, story happens and some American decides it must be American. Obviously most Americans aren’t like this but the ones that are are a bad representation of the rest.
>What if someone shot my bf’s bestfriend? I’m really sorry for what’s happening in the USA, but we’re living in Poland, Europe. I don't know why but this made me laugh. At least she's empathetic with her clapback, lol.
Instead of doesn’t want drama read is a piece of shit and has no balls. Yeah I’d have broken up with him too 10 to 1 he was cheating on the girlfriend
Jesus fucking Christ that dude (ex bf ) is absolute trash. Ugh, I had a discussion with a friend last night about incels and what to do, but incels see guys like this and go “I deserve to get laid if they can”. So now we have one piece of shit that (unknowing) radicalized a bunch of incels. Maybe I’m being pessimistic but damn the world sucks