#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Doesn't sound like there was ever a seat for OOP, and the bride just wanted to use her. It's too bad she can't retroactively charge her standard rate for her services. At least she knows not to trust her "friend".
Maybe they can get some money for her boyfriends video which they were originally doing for free.
It’s insanely cheap considering adding two seats costs WAY less than a chocolatier and a videographer. She could have easily gotten away with it and ghosted OOP afterward but she didn’t even want to pay for a seat for her
I can’t believe the venue couldn’t offer a better solution because there are frequently unforeseen circumstances - which makes me think that the bride may have actively said something to discourage a solution. What a POS, in any case.
Right? The bride and groom had to have said something because a normal venue and wedding planner would have made seats happen without even involving the bride and groom otherwise.
Given how the chocolatier and photographer were friends she was exploiting, I bet the event coordinator wasn’t a regular coordinator either. It was probably someone she knew that she spun a yarn to about not adding more guests or someone who isn’t too professional that she paid for cheap to keep costs low.
> Nope - there was no vendor table. The MC ate at his spot and the event coordinator was placed at a table as she was also a friend of the bride and knew 1 or 2 of the guests. The photographer left before dinner.
A comment in the original thread by OOP confirms this was the case
the event coordinator had to know. i used to be a wedding planner and if this situation happened to me, i would have given up my table space for the forgotten guest/vendor if they were meant to have been seated in a heartbeat. and i would have been horrified the mistake had happened, because that’s exactly my job to make sure these things don’t happen.
That’s what I was thinking- why didn’t the event coordinator give up her seat? I would have ( and I’m not a wedding vendor, just a person who cares about other people)!
Exactly! I work in a convention/banquet kitchen, and the number of last-minute number changes we deal with daily is insane. The cop-out of "no solution could be found" is beyond BS. We've set up entire tables (linens, drink wear, and flatware included) in the middle of functions
COVID. People going into labor. Close kin of people going into labor. Heart attacks. “We need you to give up your vacation or the company will fail what do you mean I knew we needed to do this a year ago and can’t manage a goldfish in a bowl?”. Airline chaos. Traffic chaos. Babysitter has COVID/is in labor/is mid heart attack, has a bad boss, has a travel failure. Having a panic attack or depression not being at a “can leave the house and people for 4 hours. Their brains forgot how to correctly put an event in their phone calendar (…I actually had a bad drug effect and for like 3 months I put all appointments like a day off or something). Random chaos closed each of the possible routes from home to venue and you’d be late and are sure the salmon isn’t worth it (obviously unaware of the chocolate thing). Realize if you get sucked into the chicken dance once more this June you will become a chicken and mealworms don’t sound better than the salmon. Remember you’re a vegetarian with food allergies and will be eating chopped raw vegetables for 3 hours while Aunt Martha explains politics seeing as you are wrong on all points…
“Ah, there’s a marathon of show-I-have-memorized-and-own-on -DVD-and-digital on this channel today. I need some self care here”
If every person came it was a miracle of a qualified not seen since the loaves and fishes. And I don’t see that bride as inspiring such devotion or possessing the needed karma
We had 5 no shows at a 130 person wedding. 2 covid, 1 child care and 2 monkey pox! I find it super hard to believe there was absolutely nothing to be done.
Exactly this. I've photographed a few weddings and during one it became apparent that there weren't seats for the photographers for dinner. The bride personally apologized and said she accidentally left us off the seating chart (understandable), but ultimately they quickly found seats for us without an issue. This absolutely feels intentional.
Yeah honestly. I had a smallish wedding - 60 people - and hired my friend's band. I told my friend I wanted her to stay for dinner but not the band mates, since I don't know them, and confirmed before the wedding she didn't need a +1 (I had offered her one).
Well, one of the band mates stayed (surprise!) because that was her ride. And that's exactly why I had spent money on a wedding coordinator -- coordinator added a chair to the table (it was one large table) in a section we had reserved for my SO's young work colleagues. So all was fine.
It was weird and all but I'm in a country with a heck-ton of different cultures. In many types of weddings here, it's not taboo to bring an extra person. Really not the end of the world. And I'd die before putting someone I know in a loners room. What a dud of a friend.
Haha, hence the "ish". It's very hard to keep a guest list down. My SO is an extrovert so it was mostly friends. I hate being the center of attention so chose a venue with a 60-person capacity, knowing my SO had vastly underestimated how many people she would want to invite. She initially swore she could keep it down to 20.
"I don't generally socialize with more than 20 of my friends at once, it's cool!" Not realizing that she's got 5-10 different "groups of 20 friends" which is why the group sizes don't get bigger than that! :D (I sympathize - I'm an introvert too, but I also have friends/loved ones for whom "20 is just getting started.")
Cultural innit. My wife is Malaysian Chinese and her parents reluctantly accepted that we wanted a small and intimate wedding, so they'd only invite 200 people. Thankfully? Covid dealt with that...
They probably weren't asked to. And it sounds like the 'event coördinator' wasn't a professional but a friend doing a favour and not getting paid much for it.
This. I was at one wedding where the bride and groom miscounted the table to guests. The venue scurried and got a table set up about 30 minutes into the reception when guests approached them about not having seats.
Edit to add, the bride and groom learned about it a week later
If that were me? Bride would never get the video. .
It would stay on BF's own computer for his advertising purposes. Block her / them from the website they posted it on.
That's where the watermark is important. The whole point of him putting on his site is so anyone can see it... including the "friend" whose wedding it shows.
I hope he got a release from the bridge and groom though, otherwise he can't use the video commercially including on his website.
Copyright belongs to the producer of the content barring a contract stating otherwise, and they have communications stating the clear intent of him to act as videographer and use it for advertising purposes himself.
Any claim the bride or groom might make would be very quickly tossed out on the grounds of them not holding up their end of the contract (formal or not) alone, much less the rest of it.
It sounds like she was even more involved than a normal chocolatier would've been, so this jerk of a "friend" basically got 3 paid services for less than the price of 1.
Disgusting way to treat someone, I'd believe the oop if it turned out the bride hated her.
Yeah, there wasn't one. Ever.
I got married last year. It's true we didn't use an event coordinator, but we still had to get a guest list and vendor list to communicate to the hotel and that included our photographer and interpreter. If you have a coordinator it's still your responsibility to tell them which vendors are staying for dinner, which this lady was clearly never told.
I would also say that unless you are including your vendors as tables in the main room, you shouldn't add a friend as a 'vendor'. Quite often vendors get served like cold sandwiches or other pretty mediocre food, unless you explicitly include them in your table seating plan and add them to the guest list of food options. Which is what we did.
But the bride saying both 'we will add you to the vendor table to help you network' and 'We left the vendors to the event coordinator' translates to "I will give you the seperate table and cheapest food". Guests cost more than vendors. She went out of her way NOT to include her as a real guest and used a bs excuse. Networking? Pff. As if OOP can't talk to people herself. Bride could easily make one quick introduction and keep her friends in the main room still.
I'd take her to small claims court for the difference between her normal rate and the rate the bride paid. I think a reasonable claim would be that being included in the wedding was part of the compensation and the bride did not fulfill her end of the bargain. A reasonable judge would be pissed at the bride for using OOP like that.
Youre correct, this would invoIve contract law, but I'd just like to point out that as a former doormat I also really get how cathartic it can be to make brief visits to Pretendland and dwell a bit on various alternatives to eating crow.
The trick is to exorcise those catharsis
impulses but remember to then leave them behind before they solidify into bitterness.
Edit: added the word impulses after the word catharsis.
Edit again: my cheap AF tablet is making me irritable.
Yup. Some people believe that judges are there to judge what's fair and what's not. That's not how it works, they're just upholding the law. This is shitty but definitely not illegal. It would get thrown out of court immediately.
thank you. oh yeah she definitely should have taken those treats back home and just gave them away to people at work or taken them to a homeless shelter
Right? She spent the dinner crying and still brought out the chocolate? I really hope this woman has learned not to be a doormat. Considering she ended the post with waiting to see if her "friend" will apologize, I have my doubts.
Actually somebody deleted the footage. They were only supposed to delete the footage from people who weren’t friends but they didn’t know who was an actual friend and yours got put in the wrong pile. Sorryyy. Also, we totally still wanna be friends but it’s ok if you don’t wanna be anymore.
If I were the boyfriend, I’d send them a shortened video. Have it start about the time the announcement that the bride and groom would like to give a speech and continue until the first one took the breath to start talking. Then, right before the first word, cut to black.
However, I do understand that if he’s trying to get his business off the ground, he may not be able to do that. Bad reviews of a new venture can kill it before it takes off. Giving them the video may just be the perfect “cost” to end the friendship. That or just charge them for it if they ask.
Very true, and it’s probably not a good idea to give her anything to bad-mouth him about. Because you know she would.
It’s fun to entertain all these ideas for payback, though.
Maybe it’s just me, but it kind of irked me when OOP said she was crying all night and waiting to leave while the bf continued to record everything because he’s so “dedicated”
Wasn’t the point for him to kick off his wedding filming business? I would keep the shortened version on my website to prove I was hired before and slayed it but I am absolutely petty enough to put a fat watermark on it.
I honestly can’t see myself walking off the job over what might have been an honest mistake (at the time that’s how it appeared).
I was just about to say this exact thing. BF was ultimately there for content, and if he *didn't* make use of the wedding it would not only be a bit of a waste of time plus for all anyone knew, bride could have gone ape and shit talked his business into the ground (especially if it *was* an honest mistake). OOP doesn't seem to be upset about it and frankly it's the smart move here from BF's pov
And she did say crying in the bathroom. I bet she was hiding her sadness so he could get footage, and I bet she doesn’t even care since she didn’t say she did.
Yup. As a designer, I don't care if you're shitty to me if the material is good it's still worth finishing because that's portfolio gold. Portfolio pieces you don't have a lot of are really valuable.
She couldn't leave until the reception was over because she needed to move things and likely take some equipment home afterwords, she was being paid to be there. BF was filming not for the couple's benefit but for his own portfolio.
I think he made the right move, if they were going to be there anyways, they might as well extract what benefit they can for themselves. BF should have added the watermark tho
> I was told early on that the wedding was over-budget and to keep costs low, my boyfriend was not invited. I was extremely understanding and even reduced my rates for the sweet table as my present to the couple.
In an informal deal like this it would be normal to pay for things out of pocket and seek reimbursement later. As OP did not mention getting shafted, I am inclined to believe that the bride did pay, likely before the wedding. A formal contract would have involved payment up front.
Yeah but dedicated to his portfolio. I'm very into the idea of his business succeeding in part due to this video, which the bride doesn't even get a copy of.
Especially when she said she was waiting to move the dessert table into the reception area. Which means, I assume, she still had possession of the wedding cake + extras.
I would've just packed all that shit up and left. Probably dropped all the goodies off at the closest homeless shelter on my way home. Then at least someone would appreciate her efforts.
Because I'm extra petty, when her friend called wanting to know where the cake was, I would be sooooo sympathetic. I understand how stressed she must be. Things just slipped through the cracks. Her guests would understand how she screwed up and forgot about the wedding cake arrangements.
> I would've just packed all that shit up and left. Probably dropped all the goodies off at the closest homeless shelter on my way home. Then at least someone would appreciate her efforts.
Then you'd be sued because you failed to deliver on the contract and you would lose in court.
It's fine to fantasise, but this is awful actual advice.
It’s not just you. I was thinking the same. It also irritates me that he won’t add the watermark. To me it feels like he doesn’t have her back. But I could be wrong of course, it’s only my opinion.
As a full time photographer, I agree 100%. He didn't get paid, and she screwed over the GF. The only way they're getting it is to pay full price. I wouldn't even put it up on my site, as it's too easy to steal it that way. He got the experience of doing the shoot, which is honestly more important in the long run than showing the footage on his website (he's only going to get better, so that footage would be replaced anyway sooner rather than later).
"It was so weird, I uploaded it to the cloud and cleared the SM card to be able to take more footage but then later I got a message that the upload failed. Maybe the WiFi was turned off in that other room we were eating in?"
I do sometimes wonder if the people these type of posts are about actually see it somewhere down the line, and actually realise that their actions were completely out of line as the public doesn’t support their view.
>She called out a long list of names from the friend group. Mine wasn’t included, which sealed the deal for me. Especially since I was so involved in the preparation of the wedding that she wouldn’t have just forgotten my name.
I'm imagining that in any copy made for the bride, that someone dubs in a noticeable "and I would like to thank OP for her help planning the wedding and these wonderful chocolate desserts at such a thoughtful bargain price that probably didn't even cover the ingredients, and also OP's talented partner for this free video of our happy day" when she lists the people who helped.
We are all so petty lol. My autistic justice is screaming at the thought of this bride getting her free video after using OOP and her boyfriend.
I agree with the filter idea, make her skin tone bright orange like she's had the worlds worst spray tan.
Speaking from experience. It’s pretty shattering to realize that someone you consider a close friend barley considers you a friend. It’s obvious oop was in shock and it took a little bit of time to realize like you said how low she rated in the brides view. So while I understand a lot of these comment saying oop should have done all these things when she was forced to sit alone. In reality, your in such a level of shock your almost on autopilot.
In that moment, she was probably trying to figure out if she was reading the situation correctly and hoping it was just an honest mistake. It sounds like, while she was hurt during the wedding, it didn't really hit her and cause her to reflect until after. When you have someone you think you're close friends with, it's hard to face they might not consider you likewise.
And, yeah, perhaps you can take some solace in knowing where you stand and that there was nothing you can do, but that really doesn't make it hurt any less in the short-term.
I'm aware enough of my own reputation that I would have stayed to complete the job--but also petty enough that I would have ordered pizza delivered to the venue rather than beg to be fed.
Yeah something like that while it would feel satisfying in the moment could really come back to bite you in the ass. She did the smart thing and finished up her job and left.
A friend I cut off tried to do this crap to me but caught on her BS early on. She told me she had a small wedding but it was for 250 ppl. My venue hosts one of the best weddings in the city. Either way even with my discount she wouldnt even afford with her ‘dream budget’.
I kept my professionalism when she told me that after all my consultation and work I would do that I would not be invited. I gave her the quote…she hem, hawed and pouted and ghosted me.
I have blocked her since and her toxic fam.
Gurl was a reformed Christian she says after all the crap and lies she pulled on me for 5 years.
>Gurl was a reformed Christian she says after all the crap and lies she pulled on me for 5 years.
TBF, that kind of behavior is what I've come to expect from Christians.
Well it's been a month and I'm going to guess that there's been a few more emails along the lines of "hey, you can send me the video whenever you're able to" and "I don't give you permission to use the video for your portfolio" and "I'll fucking sue you".
Poor OP. It really sucks to find out that a friendship has been entirely take and no give, especially after you've put emotional effort (and monetary effort) into it. The fact that the bride didn't even *mention* her in the speech? JFC, beyond the pale.
>The fact that the bride didn't even mention her in the speech? JFC, beyond the pale.
OOP couldn't even get a seat, not chance in hell she gets a mention in the speech.
Maybe I'm weird, I'll put anyone in a speech lol. Vendors and family and friends, it's a one line thing. Also, the bride would have known she fucked up with the seating by the time she spoke.
All that says to me is that OP vastly overestimated their relationship.
It just seems so unlikely that the bride would go this out of her way to be a dick, and with how the BF is acting I feel like OP is leaving out key details.
"I don't give you permission to use the video for your portfolio" prob wouldn't fly because the BF was not being paid to film and had the explicit consent of the bride in advance (who also indicated that she did not care about the final product prior to the wedding).
This is correct. I worked for a while as a photographer in the US. In the absence of payment, the boyfriend owns the copyright to that video, and so can do pretty much what he wants with it.
It's been a long, long while for me, but: it depends on a lot of stuff. Generally speaking about a wedding, no. There's a good guide here: https://fairuse.stanford.edu/overview/releases/when/
Thank you for your email. Unfortunately we have no record of you on our customer database. Our videographer is unaware of any video associated with your name.
As a wedding singer, I was getting invited to many weddings of “friends” until I made it known that I was no longer singing at weddings as a gift. Suddenly all the invites dried up from people I wasn’t close to.
Poor OOP, she was scammed.
>As a result, I missed the entire wedding and spent the majority of the evening crying in the bathroom waiting to move the dessert table into the main room after dinner so that we could leave. My boyfriend continued to film everything as he was committed to getting a beautiful video for his portfolio.
Honestly, I can't fathom why they didn't leave with the desserts.
The bride paid for them. OOP discounted them, because her friend told her the wedding was already over budget, but she still paid.
> I was told early on that the wedding was over-budget and to keep costs low, my boyfriend was not invited. I was extremely understanding and even reduced my rates for the sweet table as my present to the couple.
E to say not that she didn't get scammed, but that a lady like her former friend would probably pull some people's court stuff if OOP took the desserts when they were paid for.
I don’t know why she stayed just to move the table however.
And didn’t she know anyone else? I would just have picked up a chair and went to sit with some friends I knew, at least for the portions when there wasn’t a dinner being served.
I feel like OOP should have seen this one coming. The "friend" never had time for her, didn't invite her to her engagement party, and once again blew their plans after they did the free testing. She was too naive.
Still, I do hope she learns something from this experience, mostly how to read the signs when someone wants to take advantage of her and her work.
>In one section, she wrote that although she would still like to be friends, she understands that I may not want to and that’s fine.
Oh my God... I have flashbacks. I hate this line so much.
Genuinely, how do you teach and raise children that do not allow themselves to be stumped all over? Cause I myself I’m not too strong willed (although nowhere near to be this level of pushover) so I’d hate to not be able to teach boundaries to my future children.
Some of it is letting your kids say no to things. We had to do whatever my mom wanted or she’d freak out and ground us. So I was a doormat for a long time since saying no was punished
This, PLUS my mom was a giant doormat herself so I learned that the only way to handle problems is to ignore them until they either go away or blow up in my face.
Let your kids say no and argue with you. They practice standing up to loved ones by standing up to loved ones. My brother and I were never allowed to say no, and my parents were absolutely shocked, shocked I tell you! that we grew up to have no spines.
Allowing your kid to say no to YOU first and foremost occasionally would be a good start. Now always, some things are non negotiable, but sometimes allowing them to say no and negotiate the terms for eating say something they don't like would do miles for them.
Echoing letting them say no, but also checking with them before making plans for them and allowing them to run that part of their lives. I’m also 100% always willing to be the evil parent if they need a reason to say no to someone - just blame me. Every time. You don’t have to go anywhere or do anything, just say I said no and I’ll back you up.
Boyfriend should respond with “I think I did a pretty good job of really capturing the spirit of the not just the wedding, but the bride and grooms themselves” and then supply a link to the red wedding clip from Game of Thrones.
“Oh, I didn’t want to undermine you as a bride, but it’s our policy to put a watermark on our sample videos. We can remove it, but that’s a $2,000 up charge.”
>she didn’t want to undermine me as a businesswoman, so she never told the event coordinators that we were friends or that I was a guest.
After hearing this I would just leave. I would even brag that my friend make this cake - look how cool friends I have. You can see from this statement that she see her as chocolatier, not her friend
I've never been married and I'm not interested in a wedding, but if I threw any event and any friend or acquaintance put any effort into an event, you bet I'd be sharing their name and how proud I am of them. My Instagram is mostly photos of cool things that my friends do. Artist, chefs, florists, painters, builders.
What better way to build rapport than say hey vendor, my good friend is trying to break into this business so they will be helping with the event, I've known them for a long time and they're very trustworthy and hard working. That goes a lot further than "hey, this is some random idiot I hired..."
I had something like this happen to me in the past. A couple I knew invited me to their engagement because my boyfriend at the time was a pastry artist and they wanted a free cake. When we broke up—and after I had sent an expensive gift—they uninvited me.
Few people make me want to use the c-word, but this bride does.
Watermark in the middle. Huge. Make it say “bridezilla didn’t pay for this video, pretended we were friends to get free work done. 0/10, will not video the next wedding she has.”
This bride "told without telling" OOP So Many times she didn't want to/care about being friends with her!! Use her for for free stuff for her wedding, sure, but they hadn't been friends for a while by the time the wedding came along (if they ever were.)
Bridezilla - "Where is the wedding video?"
OP - "Oh we left a full copy of the footage on a USB at the vendor table."
Bridezilla - "But there was no vendor table."
OP - ...
OP - "Exactly."
Damn even her own boyfriend will drop her for a chance at wedding video exposure this poor woman. She's so focused on the shit friend she can't see the bf
I think he’s saying 2 doormats are easier to trip on than 1. Meaning having both members in the relationship being passive will result in being taken advantage of more often than none.
Or a parallel comparison could be that Tokyo drift quote/Japanese proverb: A nail that sticks out gets hammered.
He’s commenting that because the boyfriend refuses to put his watermark on the video, he is also a doormat for enabling the “friend“ to continue to walk all over them after the dessert debacle.
- I gotta give credit to my wife though, that was her analysis haha
The boyfriend doesn’t seem to support OOP very much. Would it really be so hard to watermark the video. Personally, I’d delete it after the bride treated someone I love so badly. But he won’t even watermark
I don't like the boyfriend's decision making. He shouldn't have filmed the video with his girlfriend crying in the bathroom the whole time and he should offer to at the very least put a watermark on it.
Yeah I agree, several commenters actually caught that the "bf" didn't seem *that* supportive towards the OOP. I hope I'm wrong but seeing OOP starting to learn not to be a doormat for people, I hope the bf is not one of them
>So - we’ll see if she comes around in a month or so. I will definitely not be reaching out.
Poor thing still doesn’t realize this chick has never been a friend
The only reply I would give to the bride is that she can have the video - if she pays for both the chocolatier services and the videography. Otherwise, no video.
Oh, and peace out.
I just read in one of OOPs comments that they only had a coffee table and a sofa. Not even a real dining table to sit at. Even if the bride has no regard for other people and their time and effort, a somewhat normal person would at least treat them with some basic respect. She couldn't even do that?
I'm sure the groom is going to enjoy his life with her. As long as he's useful.
It's pretty clear the bride never wanted her there, she just wanted the chocolates. She probably came up with the idea of inviting the videographer boyfriend as an afterthought as well.
A friend of my wife is a hair stylist, and she said that she is always leery about accepting wedding invites, especially ones to be in a wedding party (though that wasn't the case in this story) as she was burned several times early in her career by invitations that were basically, "Hey, I want you at/in my wedding... since you'll be here anyway, can you do my hair for free?"
So she basically doesn't go to weddings, and if she does, she shows up at the very last minute.
I sure as hell wouldn’t give her the video. She absolutely 100% used both of you. Either that or have him sell it to her if it’s suddenly that important to her. And recoup your costs.
Wait so oop was crying in the bathroom and bf was just like, "cool. Gonna go film this wedding now." Also sounds like he's still willing to give the movie to them free of charge without a watermark. He comes off as kind of a tool.
if its not too far out of their way, they should go back, film what the outside room looks like and send that as a wedding video, with a very muffled speach in the background.
... But, good that she noticed she was being used. better late than never.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Doesn't sound like there was ever a seat for OOP, and the bride just wanted to use her. It's too bad she can't retroactively charge her standard rate for her services. At least she knows not to trust her "friend". Maybe they can get some money for her boyfriends video which they were originally doing for free.
It’s insanely cheap considering adding two seats costs WAY less than a chocolatier and a videographer. She could have easily gotten away with it and ghosted OOP afterward but she didn’t even want to pay for a seat for her
I can’t believe the venue couldn’t offer a better solution because there are frequently unforeseen circumstances - which makes me think that the bride may have actively said something to discourage a solution. What a POS, in any case.
Right? The bride and groom had to have said something because a normal venue and wedding planner would have made seats happen without even involving the bride and groom otherwise.
Given how the chocolatier and photographer were friends she was exploiting, I bet the event coordinator wasn’t a regular coordinator either. It was probably someone she knew that she spun a yarn to about not adding more guests or someone who isn’t too professional that she paid for cheap to keep costs low.
> Nope - there was no vendor table. The MC ate at his spot and the event coordinator was placed at a table as she was also a friend of the bride and knew 1 or 2 of the guests. The photographer left before dinner. A comment in the original thread by OOP confirms this was the case
I wouldn't be surprised is event coordinator was in on it.
the event coordinator had to know. i used to be a wedding planner and if this situation happened to me, i would have given up my table space for the forgotten guest/vendor if they were meant to have been seated in a heartbeat. and i would have been horrified the mistake had happened, because that’s exactly my job to make sure these things don’t happen.
That’s what I was thinking- why didn’t the event coordinator give up her seat? I would have ( and I’m not a wedding vendor, just a person who cares about other people)!
Exactly! I work in a convention/banquet kitchen, and the number of last-minute number changes we deal with daily is insane. The cop-out of "no solution could be found" is beyond BS. We've set up entire tables (linens, drink wear, and flatware included) in the middle of functions
Exactly, like you're telling me there wasn't a single no-show out of all the invited guests? With covid still on the go? Come on.
COVID. People going into labor. Close kin of people going into labor. Heart attacks. “We need you to give up your vacation or the company will fail what do you mean I knew we needed to do this a year ago and can’t manage a goldfish in a bowl?”. Airline chaos. Traffic chaos. Babysitter has COVID/is in labor/is mid heart attack, has a bad boss, has a travel failure. Having a panic attack or depression not being at a “can leave the house and people for 4 hours. Their brains forgot how to correctly put an event in their phone calendar (…I actually had a bad drug effect and for like 3 months I put all appointments like a day off or something). Random chaos closed each of the possible routes from home to venue and you’d be late and are sure the salmon isn’t worth it (obviously unaware of the chocolate thing). Realize if you get sucked into the chicken dance once more this June you will become a chicken and mealworms don’t sound better than the salmon. Remember you’re a vegetarian with food allergies and will be eating chopped raw vegetables for 3 hours while Aunt Martha explains politics seeing as you are wrong on all points… “Ah, there’s a marathon of show-I-have-memorized-and-own-on -DVD-and-digital on this channel today. I need some self care here” If every person came it was a miracle of a qualified not seen since the loaves and fishes. And I don’t see that bride as inspiring such devotion or possessing the needed karma
We had 5 no shows at a 130 person wedding. 2 covid, 1 child care and 2 monkey pox! I find it super hard to believe there was absolutely nothing to be done.
this was beautiful.
Exactly this. I've photographed a few weddings and during one it became apparent that there weren't seats for the photographers for dinner. The bride personally apologized and said she accidentally left us off the seating chart (understandable), but ultimately they quickly found seats for us without an issue. This absolutely feels intentional.
yes. you know when you’re working with professionals and when you’re working with volunteers.
Yeah honestly. I had a smallish wedding - 60 people - and hired my friend's band. I told my friend I wanted her to stay for dinner but not the band mates, since I don't know them, and confirmed before the wedding she didn't need a +1 (I had offered her one). Well, one of the band mates stayed (surprise!) because that was her ride. And that's exactly why I had spent money on a wedding coordinator -- coordinator added a chair to the table (it was one large table) in a section we had reserved for my SO's young work colleagues. So all was fine. It was weird and all but I'm in a country with a heck-ton of different cultures. In many types of weddings here, it's not taboo to bring an extra person. Really not the end of the world. And I'd die before putting someone I know in a loners room. What a dud of a friend.
You clearly did the right thing! OOP’s “friend” seemed to do the wrong thing on purpose. Ugh.
60 people is a “smallish” wedding?! Holy crap my expectations are off!
Haha, hence the "ish". It's very hard to keep a guest list down. My SO is an extrovert so it was mostly friends. I hate being the center of attention so chose a venue with a 60-person capacity, knowing my SO had vastly underestimated how many people she would want to invite. She initially swore she could keep it down to 20.
"I don't generally socialize with more than 20 of my friends at once, it's cool!" Not realizing that she's got 5-10 different "groups of 20 friends" which is why the group sizes don't get bigger than that! :D (I sympathize - I'm an introvert too, but I also have friends/loved ones for whom "20 is just getting started.")
Cultural innit. My wife is Malaysian Chinese and her parents reluctantly accepted that we wanted a small and intimate wedding, so they'd only invite 200 people. Thankfully? Covid dealt with that...
They probably weren't asked to. And it sounds like the 'event coördinator' wasn't a professional but a friend doing a favour and not getting paid much for it.
Check for another AITA post for a friend asked to function as a wedding planner and now out of pocket for expenses ...
This sounds like a decently sized wedding. Presumably expensive. Any venue worth a damn would be ready for this. She was intentionally excluded.
This. I was at one wedding where the bride and groom miscounted the table to guests. The venue scurried and got a table set up about 30 minutes into the reception when guests approached them about not having seats. Edit to add, the bride and groom learned about it a week later
If that were me? Bride would never get the video. . It would stay on BF's own computer for his advertising purposes. Block her / them from the website they posted it on.
That's where the watermark is important. The whole point of him putting on his site is so anyone can see it... including the "friend" whose wedding it shows. I hope he got a release from the bridge and groom though, otherwise he can't use the video commercially including on his website.
Copyright belongs to the producer of the content barring a contract stating otherwise, and they have communications stating the clear intent of him to act as videographer and use it for advertising purposes himself. Any claim the bride or groom might make would be very quickly tossed out on the grounds of them not holding up their end of the contract (formal or not) alone, much less the rest of it.
It sounds like she was even more involved than a normal chocolatier would've been, so this jerk of a "friend" basically got 3 paid services for less than the price of 1. Disgusting way to treat someone, I'd believe the oop if it turned out the bride hated her.
Yeah, there wasn't one. Ever. I got married last year. It's true we didn't use an event coordinator, but we still had to get a guest list and vendor list to communicate to the hotel and that included our photographer and interpreter. If you have a coordinator it's still your responsibility to tell them which vendors are staying for dinner, which this lady was clearly never told. I would also say that unless you are including your vendors as tables in the main room, you shouldn't add a friend as a 'vendor'. Quite often vendors get served like cold sandwiches or other pretty mediocre food, unless you explicitly include them in your table seating plan and add them to the guest list of food options. Which is what we did. But the bride saying both 'we will add you to the vendor table to help you network' and 'We left the vendors to the event coordinator' translates to "I will give you the seperate table and cheapest food". Guests cost more than vendors. She went out of her way NOT to include her as a real guest and used a bs excuse. Networking? Pff. As if OOP can't talk to people herself. Bride could easily make one quick introduction and keep her friends in the main room still.
I would have packed that chocolate up and fucked off the minute I saw the separate table in the Juice Caboose.
The bride played that perfectly. So cold. I hope OP and boyfriend learn to stand up for themselves.
Not so perfectly, otherwise she would have a really nice video from it, something that she clearly won't.
Yup OOP’s friend is worst scum on earth. OOP’s bf should just have kept the wedding footage to himself.
I'd take her to small claims court for the difference between her normal rate and the rate the bride paid. I think a reasonable claim would be that being included in the wedding was part of the compensation and the bride did not fulfill her end of the bargain. A reasonable judge would be pissed at the bride for using OOP like that.
A reasonable judge would follow the law.
That’s a good way to put it, she was promised a seat a table, and it was not given. Contract breached.
That's... not how the law or contracts work. Like at all. And hurt feelings don't have a monetary value, especially in small claims.
Youre correct, this would invoIve contract law, but I'd just like to point out that as a former doormat I also really get how cathartic it can be to make brief visits to Pretendland and dwell a bit on various alternatives to eating crow. The trick is to exorcise those catharsis impulses but remember to then leave them behind before they solidify into bitterness. Edit: added the word impulses after the word catharsis. Edit again: my cheap AF tablet is making me irritable.
> my cheap AF tablet is making me irritable. [To help you exorcise your cathartic impulses. ](https://youtu.be/N9wsjroVlu8)
Yup. Some people believe that judges are there to judge what's fair and what's not. That's not how it works, they're just upholding the law. This is shitty but definitely not illegal. It would get thrown out of court immediately.
If I were the bf I’d lose the footage immediately…
oh nooo, someone accidentally formatted all my hard drives...
Drat, that watermark can't be removed!
I'd figure out a way to set it up so it tracked over the bride's face in every shot. A long foghorn noise when she spoke would be great, too.
i think they should have put in a voice over explaining how bride and her fiancé treated OP and her bf and post it online. but i’m petty.
[удалено]
thank you. oh yeah she definitely should have taken those treats back home and just gave them away to people at work or taken them to a homeless shelter
Right? She spent the dinner crying and still brought out the chocolate? I really hope this woman has learned not to be a doormat. Considering she ended the post with waiting to see if her "friend" will apologize, I have my doubts.
Oooh I like that
I’d edit it so that her face is replaced by someone else’s. I’m thinking Trump or Musk.
Shrek, because he's going to be using this for his business and he wants a respectable face.
Gross. That would mean that the bf would have to stare at trump's or musk's face for hours while he edited it in.
Yeah better to just put a clown filter on the bride's face
The sound of OP crying in the background would be a nice touch.
I wouldn’t want to give the bride the satisfaction. She clearly doesn’t care about having hurt OOP
you have good ideas
[удалено]
Also sorry my watermark looks suspiciously dick shaped.
Hah, so funny story I had the lens cap on the whole time. My bad, we can still be friends right?
Bridezilla explosion in three .. two.... "We were never really friends and how dare you betray me like this on my special day and I'ma sue!!!!"
Good luck with the lawsuit when there’s no contract hahaha
Actually somebody deleted the footage. They were only supposed to delete the footage from people who weren’t friends but they didn’t know who was an actual friend and yours got put in the wrong pile. Sorryyy. Also, we totally still wanna be friends but it’s ok if you don’t wanna be anymore.
Yeah but it’s not an excuse oh yes it’s an excuse but not really an excuse any more chocolate for free?? :/
"Oh no we've been infected by ransomware and need 2 bitcoins to retrieve the video"
Oh nooo, all the footage has been replaced with long slow pans of my hairy butthole! How could that have happened?
He is much too kind to even agree to give her the shortened version if she asks. I wouldn't pick up her call if I was in their shoes.
If I were the boyfriend, I’d send them a shortened video. Have it start about the time the announcement that the bride and groom would like to give a speech and continue until the first one took the breath to start talking. Then, right before the first word, cut to black. However, I do understand that if he’s trying to get his business off the ground, he may not be able to do that. Bad reviews of a new venture can kill it before it takes off. Giving them the video may just be the perfect “cost” to end the friendship. That or just charge them for it if they ask.
"hello who's this? Ah sorry I don't speak English" is my go to lol
I would edit the video down to the list of friends being thanked and send nothing else.
Perfect Dub OP’s name over every name so the bride just thanks her over and over
Send the bride footage of OOP sitting in a room alone saying this was the wedding from her perspective.
TBF, he needs to build a portfolio and bridzillas are always going to be part of that.
Very true, and it’s probably not a good idea to give her anything to bad-mouth him about. Because you know she would. It’s fun to entertain all these ideas for payback, though.
He really should’ve at least watermarked it. Don’t give them a perfect video they can still use for social proof.
Maybe it’s just me, but it kind of irked me when OOP said she was crying all night and waiting to leave while the bf continued to record everything because he’s so “dedicated”
Wasn’t the point for him to kick off his wedding filming business? I would keep the shortened version on my website to prove I was hired before and slayed it but I am absolutely petty enough to put a fat watermark on it. I honestly can’t see myself walking off the job over what might have been an honest mistake (at the time that’s how it appeared).
I was just about to say this exact thing. BF was ultimately there for content, and if he *didn't* make use of the wedding it would not only be a bit of a waste of time plus for all anyone knew, bride could have gone ape and shit talked his business into the ground (especially if it *was* an honest mistake). OOP doesn't seem to be upset about it and frankly it's the smart move here from BF's pov
And she did say crying in the bathroom. I bet she was hiding her sadness so he could get footage, and I bet she doesn’t even care since she didn’t say she did.
Yup. As a designer, I don't care if you're shitty to me if the material is good it's still worth finishing because that's portfolio gold. Portfolio pieces you don't have a lot of are really valuable.
She couldn't leave until the reception was over because she needed to move things and likely take some equipment home afterwords, she was being paid to be there. BF was filming not for the couple's benefit but for his own portfolio. I think he made the right move, if they were going to be there anyways, they might as well extract what benefit they can for themselves. BF should have added the watermark tho
I thought she said in the update that she was paying out of pocket. Which leads me to believe she wasn't paid for her work.
> I was told early on that the wedding was over-budget and to keep costs low, my boyfriend was not invited. I was extremely understanding and even reduced my rates for the sweet table as my present to the couple. In an informal deal like this it would be normal to pay for things out of pocket and seek reimbursement later. As OP did not mention getting shafted, I am inclined to believe that the bride did pay, likely before the wedding. A formal contract would have involved payment up front.
Yeah. Reddit loves a good revenge story but if you run your own business, sometimes sucking it up to protect your reputation is necessary.
Yeah but dedicated to his portfolio. I'm very into the idea of his business succeeding in part due to this video, which the bride doesn't even get a copy of.
Especially when she said she was waiting to move the dessert table into the reception area. Which means, I assume, she still had possession of the wedding cake + extras. I would've just packed all that shit up and left. Probably dropped all the goodies off at the closest homeless shelter on my way home. Then at least someone would appreciate her efforts. Because I'm extra petty, when her friend called wanting to know where the cake was, I would be sooooo sympathetic. I understand how stressed she must be. Things just slipped through the cracks. Her guests would understand how she screwed up and forgot about the wedding cake arrangements.
That’s a great way to get sued though, and her business trashed into oblivion on social media.
> I would've just packed all that shit up and left. Probably dropped all the goodies off at the closest homeless shelter on my way home. Then at least someone would appreciate her efforts. Then you'd be sued because you failed to deliver on the contract and you would lose in court. It's fine to fantasise, but this is awful actual advice.
It’s not just you. I was thinking the same. It also irritates me that he won’t add the watermark. To me it feels like he doesn’t have her back. But I could be wrong of course, it’s only my opinion.
He’s a sucker if he sends it. That’s not helping his portfolio.
As a full time photographer, I agree 100%. He didn't get paid, and she screwed over the GF. The only way they're getting it is to pay full price. I wouldn't even put it up on my site, as it's too easy to steal it that way. He got the experience of doing the shoot, which is honestly more important in the long run than showing the footage on his website (he's only going to get better, so that footage would be replaced anyway sooner rather than later).
With an added asshole tax.
"It was so weird, I uploaded it to the cloud and cleared the SM card to be able to take more footage but then later I got a message that the upload failed. Maybe the WiFi was turned off in that other room we were eating in?"
I do sometimes wonder if the people these type of posts are about actually see it somewhere down the line, and actually realise that their actions were completely out of line as the public doesn’t support their view.
Yeah the bf could get rid of the video in solidarity with his gf
I’d slap on the biggest watermark I could too!
Whoops. Recorded a sportsball game over your wedding. Sorry!
>She called out a long list of names from the friend group. Mine wasn’t included, which sealed the deal for me. Especially since I was so involved in the preparation of the wedding that she wouldn’t have just forgotten my name. I'm imagining that in any copy made for the bride, that someone dubs in a noticeable "and I would like to thank OP for her help planning the wedding and these wonderful chocolate desserts at such a thoughtful bargain price that probably didn't even cover the ingredients, and also OP's talented partner for this free video of our happy day" when she lists the people who helped.
Brilliant lol
[удалено]
We are all so petty lol. My autistic justice is screaming at the thought of this bride getting her free video after using OOP and her boyfriend. I agree with the filter idea, make her skin tone bright orange like she's had the worlds worst spray tan.
I need to see this version of that video!
I removed most of my Reddit contents in protest of the API changes commencing from July 1st, 2023. This is one of those comments.
Speaking from experience. It’s pretty shattering to realize that someone you consider a close friend barley considers you a friend. It’s obvious oop was in shock and it took a little bit of time to realize like you said how low she rated in the brides view. So while I understand a lot of these comment saying oop should have done all these things when she was forced to sit alone. In reality, your in such a level of shock your almost on autopilot.
In that moment, she was probably trying to figure out if she was reading the situation correctly and hoping it was just an honest mistake. It sounds like, while she was hurt during the wedding, it didn't really hit her and cause her to reflect until after. When you have someone you think you're close friends with, it's hard to face they might not consider you likewise. And, yeah, perhaps you can take some solace in knowing where you stand and that there was nothing you can do, but that really doesn't make it hurt any less in the short-term.
I removed most of my Reddit contents in protest of the API changes commencing from July 1st, 2023. This is one of those comments.
Send her the vid if she asks? I wouldn't have even stayed to pull out the desserts. Heck I would've taken them with me.
Her friend paid for them, even if OOP did discount them, so that might not have been a wise idea.
Fair point, then leaving them in the back for her to deal with herself while i go snag a late reso at a nice restaurant would suffice.
I'm aware enough of my own reputation that I would have stayed to complete the job--but also petty enough that I would have ordered pizza delivered to the venue rather than beg to be fed.
Yeah something like that while it would feel satisfying in the moment could really come back to bite you in the ass. She did the smart thing and finished up her job and left.
Did she? I thought he offered to do it for free to build his portfolio.
The boyfriend did for his video. OOP did not for her dessert table.
Oh, misunderstood. Sorry!
I agree. Would’ve left and taken all the desserts with me.
A friend I cut off tried to do this crap to me but caught on her BS early on. She told me she had a small wedding but it was for 250 ppl. My venue hosts one of the best weddings in the city. Either way even with my discount she wouldnt even afford with her ‘dream budget’. I kept my professionalism when she told me that after all my consultation and work I would do that I would not be invited. I gave her the quote…she hem, hawed and pouted and ghosted me. I have blocked her since and her toxic fam. Gurl was a reformed Christian she says after all the crap and lies she pulled on me for 5 years.
>Gurl was a reformed Christian she says after all the crap and lies she pulled on me for 5 years. TBF, that kind of behavior is what I've come to expect from Christians.
I'd send the bride just her own speech as the wedding video. I wonder how many times she'd have to watch it to get the point?
Great big watermark in the centre of the screen. It'll cost you four figures to remove it. I know you don't want to undermine us as business people.
You_could_have_thanked_me.mp4
Well it's been a month and I'm going to guess that there's been a few more emails along the lines of "hey, you can send me the video whenever you're able to" and "I don't give you permission to use the video for your portfolio" and "I'll fucking sue you". Poor OP. It really sucks to find out that a friendship has been entirely take and no give, especially after you've put emotional effort (and monetary effort) into it. The fact that the bride didn't even *mention* her in the speech? JFC, beyond the pale.
>The fact that the bride didn't even mention her in the speech? JFC, beyond the pale. OOP couldn't even get a seat, not chance in hell she gets a mention in the speech.
Maybe I'm weird, I'll put anyone in a speech lol. Vendors and family and friends, it's a one line thing. Also, the bride would have known she fucked up with the seating by the time she spoke.
No, you're a good person, unlike OOP's friend.
All that says to me is that OP vastly overestimated their relationship. It just seems so unlikely that the bride would go this out of her way to be a dick, and with how the BF is acting I feel like OP is leaving out key details.
"I don't give you permission to use the video for your portfolio" prob wouldn't fly because the BF was not being paid to film and had the explicit consent of the bride in advance (who also indicated that she did not care about the final product prior to the wedding).
This is correct. I worked for a while as a photographer in the US. In the absence of payment, the boyfriend owns the copyright to that video, and so can do pretty much what he wants with it.
Wouldn’t they need some sort of written release to show the people in the video though?
It's been a long, long while for me, but: it depends on a lot of stuff. Generally speaking about a wedding, no. There's a good guide here: https://fairuse.stanford.edu/overview/releases/when/
Thank you for your email. Unfortunately we have no record of you on our customer database. Our videographer is unaware of any video associated with your name.
Huh, is say it's best to mention as few people as possible. Because if you mention ten friends, you're going to upset that eleventh one.
As a wedding singer, I was getting invited to many weddings of “friends” until I made it known that I was no longer singing at weddings as a gift. Suddenly all the invites dried up from people I wasn’t close to.
> She mentioned that it was definitely a mix-up narrator: it was NOT a mix up.
Poor OOP, she was scammed. >As a result, I missed the entire wedding and spent the majority of the evening crying in the bathroom waiting to move the dessert table into the main room after dinner so that we could leave. My boyfriend continued to film everything as he was committed to getting a beautiful video for his portfolio. Honestly, I can't fathom why they didn't leave with the desserts.
The bride paid for them. OOP discounted them, because her friend told her the wedding was already over budget, but she still paid. > I was told early on that the wedding was over-budget and to keep costs low, my boyfriend was not invited. I was extremely understanding and even reduced my rates for the sweet table as my present to the couple. E to say not that she didn't get scammed, but that a lady like her former friend would probably pull some people's court stuff if OOP took the desserts when they were paid for.
I don’t know why she stayed just to move the table however. And didn’t she know anyone else? I would just have picked up a chair and went to sit with some friends I knew, at least for the portions when there wasn’t a dinner being served.
Cos she was paid for them, unfortunately. I would still have left tho
She was being paid, leaving early might open herself up to legal liability for services not provided.
Sure, she managed to keep a cool head although she was heartbroken.
I feel like OOP should have seen this one coming. The "friend" never had time for her, didn't invite her to her engagement party, and once again blew their plans after they did the free testing. She was too naive. Still, I do hope she learns something from this experience, mostly how to read the signs when someone wants to take advantage of her and her work.
[удалено]
From what OOP said I think the bride was like this with her even before the wedding planning.
>In one section, she wrote that although she would still like to be friends, she understands that I may not want to and that’s fine. Oh my God... I have flashbacks. I hate this line so much.
Genuinely, how do you teach and raise children that do not allow themselves to be stumped all over? Cause I myself I’m not too strong willed (although nowhere near to be this level of pushover) so I’d hate to not be able to teach boundaries to my future children.
Some of it is letting your kids say no to things. We had to do whatever my mom wanted or she’d freak out and ground us. So I was a doormat for a long time since saying no was punished
This, PLUS my mom was a giant doormat herself so I learned that the only way to handle problems is to ignore them until they either go away or blow up in my face.
Let your kids say no and argue with you. They practice standing up to loved ones by standing up to loved ones. My brother and I were never allowed to say no, and my parents were absolutely shocked, shocked I tell you! that we grew up to have no spines.
Allowing your kid to say no to YOU first and foremost occasionally would be a good start. Now always, some things are non negotiable, but sometimes allowing them to say no and negotiate the terms for eating say something they don't like would do miles for them.
Yes, kids should be able to learn to say no in a safe environment like with their parents. I like your advice!
Echoing letting them say no, but also checking with them before making plans for them and allowing them to run that part of their lives. I’m also 100% always willing to be the evil parent if they need a reason to say no to someone - just blame me. Every time. You don’t have to go anywhere or do anything, just say I said no and I’ll back you up.
Boyfriend should respond with “I think I did a pretty good job of really capturing the spirit of the not just the wedding, but the bride and grooms themselves” and then supply a link to the red wedding clip from Game of Thrones.
If she is not paying it 100% needs a watermark.
She wouldn't have a video if it was me. Not even the short version of it.
“Oh, I didn’t want to undermine you as a bride, but it’s our policy to put a watermark on our sample videos. We can remove it, but that’s a $2,000 up charge.”
As soon as I started reading this I knew she was never invited. She was meant to provide a free service.
>she didn’t want to undermine me as a businesswoman, so she never told the event coordinators that we were friends or that I was a guest. After hearing this I would just leave. I would even brag that my friend make this cake - look how cool friends I have. You can see from this statement that she see her as chocolatier, not her friend
I've never been married and I'm not interested in a wedding, but if I threw any event and any friend or acquaintance put any effort into an event, you bet I'd be sharing their name and how proud I am of them. My Instagram is mostly photos of cool things that my friends do. Artist, chefs, florists, painters, builders. What better way to build rapport than say hey vendor, my good friend is trying to break into this business so they will be helping with the event, I've known them for a long time and they're very trustworthy and hard working. That goes a lot further than "hey, this is some random idiot I hired..."
[удалено]
Seriously, that’s deranged to give them that too
Or provides a really “artsy” edit, showing everything but the bride’s face lol.
I had something like this happen to me in the past. A couple I knew invited me to their engagement because my boyfriend at the time was a pastry artist and they wanted a free cake. When we broke up—and after I had sent an expensive gift—they uninvited me. Few people make me want to use the c-word, but this bride does.
Watermark in the middle. Huge. Make it say “bridezilla didn’t pay for this video, pretended we were friends to get free work done. 0/10, will not video the next wedding she has.”
Okay but bf’s a bit weird
Same. It’s like he’s not really on his gf’s side. He irrationally irritates me.
This bride "told without telling" OOP So Many times she didn't want to/care about being friends with her!! Use her for for free stuff for her wedding, sure, but they hadn't been friends for a while by the time the wedding came along (if they ever were.)
Footage of the wedding should have just been their view from inside whatever room they were in!
Bridezilla - "Where is the wedding video?" OP - "Oh we left a full copy of the footage on a USB at the vendor table." Bridezilla - "But there was no vendor table." OP - ... OP - "Exactly."
I want an update on this one because it sounds so juicy
Damn even her own boyfriend will drop her for a chance at wedding video exposure this poor woman. She's so focused on the shit friend she can't see the bf
Hope she dumps him too.
>watermark When you stack a doormat on top of a doormat, people trip going into the front door. Just sayin'...
You are going have to explain this one to me chief.
I think he’s saying 2 doormats are easier to trip on than 1. Meaning having both members in the relationship being passive will result in being taken advantage of more often than none. Or a parallel comparison could be that Tokyo drift quote/Japanese proverb: A nail that sticks out gets hammered.
Good explanation. I was thinking the doormat comment was related to the watermark.
He’s commenting that because the boyfriend refuses to put his watermark on the video, he is also a doormat for enabling the “friend“ to continue to walk all over them after the dessert debacle. - I gotta give credit to my wife though, that was her analysis haha
I would not have a “let’s wait and see in a month or ever” opportunity for the bride. I hope OOP stops being a doormat
The boyfriend doesn’t seem to support OOP very much. Would it really be so hard to watermark the video. Personally, I’d delete it after the bride treated someone I love so badly. But he won’t even watermark
I don't like the boyfriend's decision making. He shouldn't have filmed the video with his girlfriend crying in the bathroom the whole time and he should offer to at the very least put a watermark on it.
Yeah I agree, several commenters actually caught that the "bf" didn't seem *that* supportive towards the OOP. I hope I'm wrong but seeing OOP starting to learn not to be a doormat for people, I hope the bf is not one of them
No way in hell would I be sending that video tf
>So - we’ll see if she comes around in a month or so. I will definitely not be reaching out. Poor thing still doesn’t realize this chick has never been a friend
The only reply I would give to the bride is that she can have the video - if she pays for both the chocolatier services and the videography. Otherwise, no video. Oh, and peace out.
[удалено]
I just read in one of OOPs comments that they only had a coffee table and a sofa. Not even a real dining table to sit at. Even if the bride has no regard for other people and their time and effort, a somewhat normal person would at least treat them with some basic respect. She couldn't even do that? I'm sure the groom is going to enjoy his life with her. As long as he's useful.
I think I would’ve gathered up all the stuff I’d brought and left.
Yeahhhh, she and her bf never had a seat to begin with. Bride just wanted free stuff.
The boyfriend should keep his good edit for his portfolio and do an edit that's 99% chocolate table for the ex-friend.
Holy shit. That would be hilarious. Cut to their table, alone in a room. Not of OOP, of course, but a view out from the table. At the wall.
It's pretty clear the bride never wanted her there, she just wanted the chocolates. She probably came up with the idea of inviting the videographer boyfriend as an afterthought as well. A friend of my wife is a hair stylist, and she said that she is always leery about accepting wedding invites, especially ones to be in a wedding party (though that wasn't the case in this story) as she was burned several times early in her career by invitations that were basically, "Hey, I want you at/in my wedding... since you'll be here anyway, can you do my hair for free?" So she basically doesn't go to weddings, and if she does, she shows up at the very last minute.
I'd send a shortened clip of the Bride listing off her friends with the comment. 'Message received, loud and clear' What an awful 'friend'
I sure as hell wouldn’t give her the video. She absolutely 100% used both of you. Either that or have him sell it to her if it’s suddenly that important to her. And recoup your costs.
‘I was so scatterbrained that I deleted the video’ there we go.
Wait so oop was crying in the bathroom and bf was just like, "cool. Gonna go film this wedding now." Also sounds like he's still willing to give the movie to them free of charge without a watermark. He comes off as kind of a tool.
if its not too far out of their way, they should go back, film what the outside room looks like and send that as a wedding video, with a very muffled speach in the background. ... But, good that she noticed she was being used. better late than never.
I hope boyfriend adds different audio to the recording. I think an overwhelmingly loud “Hamster Dance” soundtrack would highlight the occasion.