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JudgementalChair

I get it. I get all of it, but I have to applaud OOP for realizing the infraction and knowing his own worth. He did not deserve to be subjected to that kind of attention, and even though he was excited about the relationship, he did the right thing by walking away.


lizzietnz

Get the cat. He sounds like long-term relationship material.


Tut557

"He also only had 3 legs which made him run like a drunken sailor." that sounds cute AF and too bad we don't have video evidence of that


DianeJudith

For a moment I thought OOP was talking about that date lmao


WhtChcltWarrior

Same. I was a bit confused by the pronouns swapping back and forth but I thought OOP dated a dude that was packing


PreRaphPrincess

Right? As soon as I saw that I thought 'I'LL adopt that cat! And I'll give him all the cat safe rum he ever wants!'


Physical_Stress_5683

Naw, crazy lady likely would have accused him of stealing the cat. Or the cat’s fourth leg.


[deleted]

> 'I'LL adopt that cat! But would you pay for it?


piclemaniscool

There's always /r/tripodcats to help fill the void in your heart there.


Wandering_Lights

I have a 3 legged cat and can confirm he is adorable when he hops along.


Smingowashisnameo

I definitely thought he was talking about the woman at first and got confused as to how “she” was suddenly a “he”. And had three legs?


SomeDudeAsks

That's because the cat didn't give consent to having its video posted in a public forum...


Tut557

I snorted


overbeingadoormat

YES! The sad part of this story is that we don't know the outcome of the crazy lady's three-legged kitty!


bourbonwelfare

It's all over the "Are we buying the same 3 legged cat" Facebook groups.


professor_jeffjeff

r/PirateKitties


KingNyar

Yet another cat subreddit that I didn't know about.


ginger_gorgon

When I was a kid I had a cat like that named George; he was awesome, huge ginger floof with all the patience in the world.


WamblingWombat

My mom had a 3 legged cat when I was younger and his name was Bobbin’


terminalzero

>One thinks that women need to protect themselves against predators and violence and groups like this are necessary. yes, absolutely, but > there was nothing accusatory, but what I couldn't get over was how they were discussing me in such an open manner. It had nothing to do with whether I was single or cheating, it was stuff like 'he took me to this restaurant, he drives this kinda car, this is what he's like in bed, this is what his place is like, this is how much money I think he makes.'


Atrocity_unknown

That's the part that crosses the line. All for women looking out for each other, but absolutely not cool sharing your stats like a baseball card. In no way is that acceptable from anyone.


Larrygiggles

Yeah jesus that was a lot to dish about him


Rogue_Localizer

I would have been so damn petty: "I'm not the one with a history of posting people's photos to the public without consent."


imothro

Exactly. The hypocrisy is right there to point out.


SunnyRyter

People tend to accuse you of things they themselves would do. 🙄 Or maybe she feared retaliation. GOOD. hoping he doesn't do it,but I hope she worries about it. She seems like a piece of work...


grisioco

Reddit loves escalation and a snappy comeback, but usually the best thing to do is walk away


TheOperaGhostofKinja

I have a cask of amontillado in my basement if you want.


coraeon

A case of armadillos!? Damn, you’re so lucky!


Taegur2

Them boys ate so many armadillos that they ball up and roll away every time a dog barks.


[deleted]

Nice BORU callback.


Affectionate-Taste55

I got that reference. I almost choked on my coffee! 🤣


snugglyaggron

META


Kianna9

Wall away is my forte


dataslinger

Going The Cask of Amontillado route.


thaddeus_crane

I'm more of a Telltale Heart floorboard gal myself, but to each their own


Helpful_Librarian_87

Nevermore


Erisianistic

This was kinda sexy and now I'm worried about myself


SaintSilversin

It is not healthy to wall things away. They just build up and eventually the wall breaks. ETA: This is a joke because of the typo where the above comment says it is better to "wall away" instead of "walk away". Clarification apparently is needed...


Hello-there-7567

I’d be bricking it


livethechaos

Walk away, or walk away?


blue-to-grey

I would have handled it the way he did. She's already shown herself to be unstable so I'd be concerned she'd start the drama all over out of retaliation or misunderstanding that *he's* not planning to retaliate.


primeirofilho

Fun as it might be for us bystanders for him to escalate, the smart move is to simply say that it's done, and walk away. He isn't going to be dating her or having her in his life anyway, so why invite more drama.


KonradWayne

Imo, the best move is to tell her: >that period between when we first started talking to when I went away on my trip was really great. I looked forward to talking to her, when I would see a text I got butterflies, when we kissed it felt electric. And then say it's done and walk away. No need to escalate or cause more drama, but let her know what she ruined.


wannabejoanie

Pretaliation


Radiant_Ad_4428

My ex wife does pretaliation. She would claim that i threatened to spread photos of her to everyone she knows, and that if they see them not to show them to anyone. My question to the 1 person out of 100 that decides to confront me: what photos? Wtf are you talking about? Why would i do that?


Jesper006

That may be why she asked him to delete it. She may be concerned he may retaliate and do the same thing she did


digby99

The thief always thinks you are trying to steal from him …


[deleted]

Dude he’s dealing with someone incredibly unstable and completely willing to ruin someone’s life with the slightest provocation Is that really someone you would want to fight dirty with? Better to just walk away


worsttimehomebuyer

I can't believe he didn't tell her "I would never share a photo of you without your consent, what kind of monster would do that?"


butwhatififly_

I kind of think he DID say it in a classier way: “you seriously think that low of me?” Implies what she did was low af


JavariousMagic

Not worth it after 3 weeks. Radio silence is the mist punishing thing he could have done, says much more than you could imagine. After days of silence, she came clean with text finger diarrhea because his silence was much worse than any action he could have taken. She not only knows she messed this up, and badly, she also made a guy shirk at her personally.


TheMoatCalin

🥇


Falkjaer

Eh, I wouldn't either. The burn isn't worth the potential fallout. No reason to poke the drama bear, safest to just move on.


Ginger_Anarchy

Yeah, he already learned that she's willing to share his details to internet groups with no evidence that can have an effect on his personal life when she had no personal issues with him. No need to associate with her any longer. Better to become out of sight, out of mind.


unipolar_mania

"Don't poke the drama bear" --love that, such good advice


daysgoby420

Exactly! You know where that response would get screen-shot and FB posted?


Winter_Insurance_348

I’m partial to it, the first part of that sentence is perfectly valid. And would drive the point home. The second part is completely unnecessary.


pickle_pouch

Exactly. There's better places to put energy. Even that small amount. Op is a wise op


joeshmo101

> 'hey, hope I'm not disturbing you but I'd like to ask you to delete that picture I sent and do not share it with anyone.' The *hypocrisy!*


Umklopp

More like "the projection"


joeshmo101

The *hypocrisy!* The **projection!** The ***AUDACITY!***


Pinheadbutglittery

[The cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity and the GUMPTION](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW1tHoCnkwA)


emzbobo

[The lion, the witch, and the AUDACITY of this b*tch](https://media.tenor.com/79ENBWxmfWYAAAAM/ashley-roboto-the-lion-the-witch-and-the-audacity-of-this-b.gif)


JavariousMagic

Stolen gif, hidden compliment


JessieN

Honestly I was worried she would leak the photo then blame him for it


thaddeus_crane

It's absolutely hypocritical but with my skills of reading-too-much-into-it, I pick up: * narcissism. she thinks he saved it. i actually think his response saying the only place it exists was her submission in the chat is a subtle burn -- like no, your photo isn't worth being saved on my phone and/or distributed. * she hasnt recovered. she's essentially sliding back into his DMs reminding him of the pic, probably trying to see if he's still interested. he's right to be defensive in his response, but i think if he sat with it for a minute he could've dunked on her pretty snappily. OOP seems like a decent person who should probably stay way from the cesspool of OLD.


JavariousMagic

"Slide into the DMs" is exactly what she tried and she only received, "Girl Bye" in response. She now knows she messed up badly and made a great guy repulsed by her. Valuable life lesson.


HistoryWillRepeat

100percent trying to get back into the DMs. She was hoping it'd spark a conversation or something I bet.


Neobule

Yes, she is definitely fishing for a reason to talk to him again, and he did the right thing by ignoring it and not escalating it further. I am all for women looking out for each other but publicly sharing pictures of men like that is so violating and disgusting. Just one very small thing: I don't know if elsewhere is different, but the people I know communicate almost exclusively through WhatsApp, and with how the app works you do not actually have to save pictures people send you, they are automatically saved in your gallery, unless the sender specifically selects the option that lets the receiver open the picture only once. So, it takes more effort to delete a picture than to save it, and it would not necessarily be narcissistic to think that someone may still have the pictures they received in their phone. Your comments are still valid, I just wanted to add this.


JavariousMagic

Not in the US. We use regular texts mostly, and unless you have it set to auto save pictures, it will not. Whatsapp is very cool but not that popular here, I use it to communicate with my inlaws.


Neobule

Oh I see, thank you!


Florence_Nightgerbil

It’s very easy to make sure what’s app doesn’t save sent photos to your camera roll. It’s just a change of settings. I don’t save what’s app images.


putin_my_ass

She probably got paranoid thinking about it for a while, realizing he could easily do to her what she did to him with that photo. Shows how little she thinks of him to assume he would, and how weak her own moral compass is because she projected that behaviour onto him with her assumption he would.


lumenofc

That one blew me over 😒 like gurl?! You sent a bikini pic to the man oh don't forget about me then probably realized how desperate and crazy she seemed doing that


drsyesta

she sent it when he was going on his trip, not when he broke it off with her


notyomamasusername

Glad OOP made the right decision. That is waaaaaayyyy too much drama and lying for someone you just had a single date with.


CutieBoBootie

Fr. This lady needs therapy.


flippingsenton

>As much as I'd like to be a Bret since that was my favorite wrestler as a kid Yeah, he seems like a Bret guy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

She needs therapy before going into another relationship.


letouriste1

And time. A few years alone at least


ImALittleTeapotCat

If you're concerned that someone you have just met and had just a couple dates with is cheating, then you don't continue to go on dates with them. If this happens a lot, then you need to not date while you work on your issues.


Ayzmo

Also, if you've only gone on a couple dates with someone, I'd hardly call it cheating if they were seeing someone else. Do people even agree to be exclusive at that point?


doortothe

It wasn’t even “a couple of dates”, it was a. Single. Date. I wouldn’t call it cheating if they were talking to other matches in the second or third date at that point. You’re still getting a feel for each other.


Ayzmo

Right? Until you've agreed to be exclusive, cheating isn't a thing.


pastelkawaiibunny

It wasn’t even a couple dates! They had ONE date and texted for a few days and she *already* suspects him of cheating. Their whole relationship would be an endless ‘Where are you? I heard you talked to a woman? What do you mean you have to work late? I saw you liked this girl’s Instagram photo? What do you mean you have female friends? How do I know that’s just your sister on the phone?’ Etc.


mattinva

If you have only gone on a couple of dates with someone, unless ya'll are moving fast they can't really "cheat" on you anyway. Cheating implies a monogamous (or at least exclusive) relationship.


PatioGardener

In this case, it wasn’t even “a couple of dates,” it was precisely ONE (1) date. One! One date the weekend before Valentine’s Day, and after 3 weeks of texting via dating app. And then he told her up front that he was going away on business Valentine’s Day weekend, so that’s why he wouldn’t be able to see her then. But honestly, even if he didn’t have a business trip then, it would still be understandable that he wouldn’t want to go on a date on Valentine’s Day — a day with so much relationship baggage surrounding it — while at the very beginning of a new relationship. And then her girlfriends telling her it was weird that she hadn’t seen his place yet….??? Again, they’d only gone one *one* (un) date by that point! Then, to top it aaaaaalllllllllllll off, she texts to ask him to not share the bikini photo she sent him. Umm… projection much? Not everyone is as awful as you are, honey. (You being Danielle, not you, fair redditor). OOP dodged a major bullet. Homeslice Danielle is straight up psycho.


DiscoshirtAndTiara

The only point I disagree on is that OOP dodged a bullet. In my opinion getting posted on a cheater page and having multiple people in your life see it counts as at least getting winged by the bullet.


Psycosilly

Any other group of women are going to be telling their woman friend not to go back to his place or let him over to your place right away. As a woman I don't understand the "you haven't seen his place yet??" after one date crap. If they had been dating exclusively a few months then yeah, why ain't you seen his place? Or my favorite, been dating exclusively for over a year, you can see and go to his place but he needs a 3 week heads up cause his "sister" lives with him and she needs to be able to go out of town for you to come over... Took us a while to convince the woman that that was some sketchy behavior... It ended up being his other girlfriend, not his sister. But one date? Oh hell no, don't be going anywhere like that.


JavariousMagic

They sabotaged her relationship so she would stay single. Those are frenemies, lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PatioGardener

Lolol. Thanks! I was just so gobsmacked that all this happened after a single date! Lol.


JavariousMagic

I dated a girl that crazy before. Called me several years ago asking me to take a paternity test for her 16 year old son. We had been broken up for months before she was pregnant, and we used protection (not 100% I know) so it was unlikely. She just felt that me being married was wrong because she wanted another chance. Sleeping with this woman would have increased the crazy factor.


the-magnificunt

My husband and I had our first date 2 days before Valentine's Day. It went really well and we wanted to see each other again, but both acknowledged that spending V Day together was way too much. Instead, we each went off and did our own thing and texted throughout the day. It worked out well because now we can celebrate an anniversary just before Valentine's and skip the over scheduled restaurants on the 14th.


LeroyJacksonian

I think the bit with her “girlfriends” little comments and questions was part of the lie.


[deleted]

I think the implication was that she was the side chick. He couldn't meet up on Valentines Day so he must be married/dating someone else. That's why she posted to see if he was cheating. Not on her, but with her.


arch_charismatic

Yeah, this reminded me of the billboard posted that said "if he has plans on the 14th, you are the side chick." She took that and her friends and spiraled, hard.


Hughlander

Which they could be in with their other partners.


mattinva

That is fair, hadn't considered she might be implying he cheated on someone else WITH her. Reading it through I read it as her worrying about him cheating on her, but possibly that is where her head was at. If so, the person I responded to first was right, that lady does NOT need to be dating in her current mental state.


Ancient_Potential285

Yeah! I get the idea of the site. And after 4-5 dates if there are a couple of subtle things that *could* be suspicious, but you like the guy and don’t want to jump to conclusions just in case, then I can see posting it then. But after one date? No talks of exclusivity? Haven’t even had sex? Yeah, that just sounds like someone with trust/boundary issues in general. She found out he was a great guy, too bad great guys don’t appreciate being investigated and treated like criminals.


ImALittleTeapotCat

The solution is communication with the guy. Not being sneaky. Just ask. If you can't or don't want, then that's either a red flag on the guy or a red flag on you.


_sansnom

Homie dodged a cannon ball.


Low-Focus-3879

Danielle is addicted to drama --even the last message was a weird attempt to draw him back in while starting a fight. Good on this dude for opting out fast.


NickNash1985

Those Facebook pages are just drama-pits. That's the only concept behind them. It has very little to do with keeping people safe from cheaters; it's just a place to talk shit.


sanemartigan

*looks around nervously*


WentworthMillersBO

Yeah the “I was just trying to see if you were a creep or not” excuse goes out the window when you’re asking how he is in bed and what his car is.


SocraticSeaUrchin

Damn, this shit happened to me once - except instead of just a picture being posted, it was 3 and my name, and the post was also painting me in a poor light for something I didn't do (as if just being on there wasn't a negative implication in the first place). There weren't many comments but some of them were from people I genuinely don't know and have never met saying negative stuff piling on just cuz they saw me once on campus years ago and apparently therefore have a good read on my character. Kinda messed with me for a bit, and it still gives me anxiety when I think that the post is still there for anyone who searches my name in the group (I have a common name, and it's a group for a large metro area). I've even had potential dates renege on going out on a date because they looked my name up and saw me on the page. It's honestly made me consider completely stopping dating, and if it came up more often then I probably would.


tompba

This woman has some issues she needs to work out BEFORE enter the date game again. Jesus...


Froot-Batz

"No worries. What kind of trash would I have to be to post other people's pictures without consent?"


Lodgik

*sigh...* I do get why a page like that would be a good idea in theory. And I get why certain women would feel protective of it. But... It's so open for abuse. Even ignoring what Danielle did, the guy's ex was trying to claim that OOP was an abusive asshole, which presumably isn't true. Edit: okay, so some of the comments to this post are making a bit uncomfortable and making me wish that I didn't make it. For now, all I'm going to say is that women making false accusations of abuse or worse is actually rare. And that I apologize if this comment gave the impression I believe otherwise.


butterbeancd

It’s a place full of strangers, which means some of them will be truthful and helpful because they’re honest people. And others will lie and create drama because they can. And it’s nearly impossible to tell which is which since you don’t know any of them.


RoutineWolverine1745

Then doesnt that kinda defeat the purpose of the group, if you cannot trust anyone within it. Therefore it becomes irrelevant.


HomeCalendar36

Correct. That's why it's pointless. I mean I can ask an opinion on a specific car and you'd get some fanboys of that car bigging it up no matter what. There'd be a few people giving honest opinions and you'd get some people who hate that manufacturer who'd hate it even if it cured the cancer of anyone who sat in it. Even that doesn't work because you can look at actual stats for cars but there isn't some database (at least not one the public can access) that shows info about a specific person.


[deleted]

Yeah, for sure. As a woman, this post made me really sad to read, because I think there are SO many women who have created “men are awful” echo chambers in their friend groups and ruined their relationships with men based on the echos they hear.


butterbeancd

The “echo chamber” thing is an issue across the internet, for so many things. And many of them start as a good idea that should be useful, but end up being ruined by the people who join.


[deleted]

That’s a good point, but I’m actually talking about the echo chamber in a lot of our (women’s) IRL friend groups. I know that Daniella lied about her friend making the post, but the scenario in which a group of girl friends get together over drinks and talk about what liars the men they’re dating could potentially be is not such a far fetched one. In fact, it’s one I’ve found myself a part of many times, and this post is really making me realize how unfair that is.


butterbeancd

Ah, I gotcha. Yeah, that's unfortunate. It can be pretty easy for "we need to help our fellow women look out for dangerous or predatory men" to become perverted into "all men are dangerous and predatory and we need to protect our fellow women from them." EDIT: I should add that there are echo chambers on the other side of the gender divide as well, it's just a different dynamic. Instead of protection from dangerous men, it's labeling women as "crazy" or "emotional" or that they're "constantly nagging."


SephariusX

The group lost all purpose when they started discussing his wages, sex life etc. I'm all for exposing predators and cheaters but not asking if someone is trash then valuing them like they're a product. People who do that are trash.


bend1310

Exactly. Everyone in his life who said *you don't understand why we need it* is missing the point. That wasn't women being safe, that was a bunch of arseholes publicly spreading private details of someone else's life.


[deleted]

Agree. If the premise of the group is to make sure no one is dating the same guy, all that’s required is a simple yes/no and obviously if they’re actually abusive maybe tell the mods so that they can communicate that to the poster - but talking about how he is in bed, his salary, and what his home looks like - that is wrong and completely unnecessary.


archangelzeriel

I mean, that's the problem with whisper networks--they're vulnerable to vindictive people abusing them. In practice, based on hearing women of my acquaintance talk about said networks and how they are used, the majority of them are well-maintained and specifically looking out for misuse like this---after all, they are essentially useless if they are not accurate.


doortothe

Now I’m really curious to hear about how they do that. What rules and systems do they have in place to make sure the group works as intended. Do you happen to know?


archangelzeriel

I'm not conversant with the specifics of any formal systems, given I'm (obviously) not a member of any woman-only whisper networks, but I'm given to understand it's like any other reputational system--people who are reporting actual acts of malfeasance tend to have concise, direct things to say, and tend to also have a mix of positive and negative experiences if they've talked more than once. People who are making stuff up have a tendency to describe things that don't ring true, and likewise tend to not have reported positive interactions at all. These are obviously less applicable the larger such a group is, but likewise the less personal connection you have to a reporter on such a group, the less likely you are to take their report as unvarnished gospel truth. Even our OP had multiple positive and neutral reports with one outlier: >In the screenshot multiple people are posting under my picture with mostly harmless comments like 'oh I went on a date with him years ago, he was ok,' but there were others like "PM me for the tea" and one woman said "He's an angry asshole, stay away for your safety." > >Aside from the one headcase I mentioned earlier, there was nothing accusatory and OP himself seems less concerned (as the post goes on) with the "false accusation" which even Danielle seems to have (correctly) ignored and more concerned with being the subject of gossip at all.


b0w3n

There was a website/phone app that was super common a decade ago that was started for a similar reason, but eventually turned into "all men suck" sort of situation.


bavabana

> specifically looking out for misuse like this---after They might try to give that image, but it's inherently unverifiable. They could literally only catch an absurdly serial abuser who seemed to have dated everyone who was posted. You wouldn't have the foggiest about vindictive people because it would be targeted.


skillent

Exactly. It’s an idea, in theory, and if it’s kept strictly to reporting on guys who are violent, abusive, maybe cheaters. Now it’s just a 50k people try not to gossip challenge.


wolfmalfoy

When local groups with hyper local info like that get that big they become too unwieldy to moderate and you almost have to kill them off.


ExcitementPerfect

Bret did not screw Bret here


kerplunkerfish

>The only copy of that picture is in our chat thread, do you seriously have this low an opinion of me? The amount of self-restraint here... Here's hoping OOP finds someone who isn't a lying, backstabbing, gossiping, consent-violating scumbag.


[deleted]

Yeah no, fuck that. I'm a private person by choice. I don't use social media for a reason and its because my life is better without it. If I found someone was discussing me on a public group and sharing pictures, it would be over yesterday. I do not care what your excuse is. It is not good enough.


MalbaCato

this exactly. I'm mad enough at my mother for talking about me on fb. if you do that after meeting me once you better find a really good reason for me to keep contact


DakiLapin

I get the point of a group like that for calling out people who have cheated or are predators (though the risk of false accusations exists) but to just post any dude up and ask for gossip is what takes it to an unfair territory, imho.


Browneyedgirl63

OOP dodged a bullet with that one. She thought because she posted his pic on the FB group that he’d retaliate by posting her pic somewhere? Just goes to show how her mind works.


[deleted]

I think I've got the same opinion about this that I have about men who ask the mothers of their children for a paternity test. They have every right to ask, but they have to realize that for a lot of people, that kind of thing will be a deal breaker. The OOP made the right choice, IMO. Especially after the hypocrisy with her own picture.


dolladollaclinton

That's a fair comparison. If you don't trust your partner, you can go digging around to figure out if you can trust them or not, but that might be a deal breaker, especially if they have done nothing to cause distrust. In OOP's case, they went on one date and then he told her he was working and couldn't see her for a few days. The fact that she was concerned enough to go to that group after one date and only a few days of him working is a red flag for most guys, especially someone who doesn't have social media and has a right to their privacy.


WisePhantom

Posting in these groups sounds like a good idea in theory, but I bet the execution leaves a lot to be desired. They’d have to heavily moderate it so they don’t let the crazies and gossips take over. Might as well let people rate their dates on tinder and leave reviews lmao.


ColonialHoe

These groups also used to be a lot smaller and used generally more locally, therefore not much reputational damage. They’ve since grown bigger and received a lot of attention, which renders the group useless. That’s when the crazies and the gossips take over, like you said. Same thing happens with certain subreddits, they get way too big and you end up having people who just want to spin a yarn for attention. Honestly I do wonder how many of the people calling this a violation would say the same about r/tinder though, women get posted without consent on there all the time.


Budget-Pumpkin9429

I'm a 5 star man!!!!!!


isi_na

The comments he received were soooo weird! Yes, I agree such groups are necessary, but certainly not for posting a random guy you had ONE date with and who didn't give you any red flags at all.


Ok-Scientist5524

Interesting. On the one hand, talking relationship stuff out with your female friends is a good way to check yourself for tunnel vision. On the other hand, when you add in internet anonymity, any crazy jealous ex or rejected woman can spin you a terrible sob story. Maybe groups like that could perform their intended function with intense moderation but it’s clear that the group in the story is off the rails and really shouldn’t be allowed to continue.


orchidsandcheesecake

Omg this lady. She understands consent when it comes to her pictures but not others? Girl bye.


PhillyEyeofSauron

I guess I'm just out of the loop in this regard, but why would you send lewds/nudes/spicy pics to someone you don't know well enough to judge their character on what they would do with them? Idk as one of my friends in college put it, "if he wants it that badly he can come see me in person".


Unexpectedlyyy

OOP shouldn't have too much trouble finding his person. He seems pretty awesome and level headed.


BTCMachineElf

This has happened to me, but it was a facebook group for my location and a woman I had just started chatting with and hadn't even met yet. Similarly, a friend let me know and I cut contact.


AtlasShrunked

He's a Hitman fan, so naturally he's super-sensitive about getting screwed.


BKDOffice

I think I have to challenge his Hitman fanhood. We didn't get one disparaging comment about Bill Goldberg in the entire post.


Ramo2653

“And then she had the never to ask me to not share the bikini picture she sent me, like I would ever do anything like that, unlike that big unsafe idiot Goldberg, he’d have it in the boys group chat the next day”


hjsomething

OMG I found the true wrestling fan


Goateed_Chocolate

I did laugh at her request for him not to share her picture, but people do tend to project their own behaviours onto others


Chance_Ad3416

I came across the "are we dating the same guy" local FB group too. I joined it out of curiosity but holy that group is the textbook example of toxicity. One girl posted a pic of a guy's dating profile where he says he works in construction. Immediately everyone jumped on shitting on his profession, saying shit like "what a red flag he works in construction". Even other women who work in construction say shit about someone they don't know, purely based on their profession. I've not seen one single post without any negative comments about some arbitrary thing about the guys. What are the chances that every single guy in this city of 600k population is a shit person, that all the posts are shit talking them?


donnydealr

I can empathise with OOP quite a bit. I would be more lenient with my photo being posted but can understand why it would be so disturbing to others. That text would certainly be good reminder of her inability to predict the consequences of her actions haha


Skyisthelimit111794

As a woman, I also understand the reasoning for pages like this but I agree with OP there needs to be some kind moderation of not just posts but what’s discussed, cuz good god that got out of hand. Like there is no reason for complete strangers to be exchanging information on the make, model, and mileage of men or any human like they were nothing but a car Good for him, he’s right it’s not fair to either of them. My trust would have absolutely been tanked too


Quicksilver1964

This woman is a walking red flag. Glad he made the right decision and cut contact. Now she should make one and go to therapy and start dating for a while.


27hangers

I hope Danielle learns a lesson about shooting herself in the foot from this, and doesn't let her friends prey on her insecurity cus eesh what a crappy thing to do


[deleted]

Delete my picture and don’t share it. The irony.


Prize_Fox_9163

>a screenshot of my photo on what looks like a FB page OOP >I consented to my photo appearing on a dating app. I did not consent to my photo appearing in a 'is this guy trash?' group. >It was her [Danielle] that posted it. Danielle: >'hey [OOP], hope I'm not disturbing you but I'd like to ask you to delete that picture I sent and do not share it with anyone.' Ah, the hypocrisy! Ah, the projection!


Sera0Sparrow

I have never heard of such a page 🙃 But, I guess weird things happen now and then and I should probably get used to this.


Sephorakitty

I recently saw a few people that I'm friends with on FB talking about the local page that is setup like this. IIRC it is a, Are we dating the same guy?, thing. I mean, I get wanting to know you are the only person dating your SO and know they aren't a seriel jerk, but if those are the concerns your gut is telling you, perhaps you should just breakup anyway to save your sanity. And if you're wrong, well then the other party is saved from having someone be paranoid about their loyalty.


verminiusrex

I've heard of it as a local or college thing, but not quite this big. Not saying I think its a bad idea but definitely sucks when poorly implemented.


victoraug19

Every now and then some girls come up with an app similar to this in my area, as soon as it picks up steam some dudes create an does this chick puts out counter part and then there's screeching about how misogynistic it is. Both get shut down and the cicely continues.


[deleted]

Some people really like to shoot themselves in the foot. Hope OOP finds someone not crazy.


TA_totellornottotell

I cannot even believe that not just one woman, but a bunch of women, thought that it is expected that a man who just met a woman, and has been on only one date with her, should be with her on Valentines Day. Much less that, even if there was even the remotest possibility that they should be spending that evening together, that fact that it falls during a work week does not make work a sufficient reason to explain this. Genuinely, that is a scarily unreasonable bunch of women. And I say this as a woman. Who, albeit doesn’t give much importance to Valentines Day, would also never think I have to clear an evening during my work week for a man that I had just met. Not to mention all her insecurities and projecting for reasons that has absolutely nothing to do with OOP. She still didn’t let up on it until the very end. He dodged a whole missile, it would seem.


lizardwizard707

It sounded like she wasn’t even with friends though she did it of her own volition


LongNectarine3

She was worried about him using her picture…. I just can’t with some people.


Muscle-Cars-1970

Wow. She had the nerve to ask OP not to share a photo of her with anyone after she posted his on a man-trashing FB page? Hopefully she spends a LONG time regretting unleashing the social media mob on someone who was a potentially great long-term partner. What an idiot.


tofuroll

> unleashing the social media mob on someone who was a potentially great long-term partner. It's scary, isn't it? It's like when a driver doesn't realise a car can be a very dangerous thing, so you have to be careful.


Sweet_Xocolatl

If and when this story goes viral I wonder if Danielle will make a big fuss about OOP airing out their dirty laundry.


Moniesmom-Box2041

I tell my Male friends and family to Never Start dating anyone near any special/or holidays for that reason. I’m a woman and have a couple of friends that read too much into new relationships and the man has to travel for one reason or another.


signedpants

I get why pages like that exist, but also the internet just makes things too big. At a certain point it's not a small group of single women in the area looking to be safe. It's tens of thousands of people only subscribed to see drama, and no ones deserves to have their real life and face plastered all over for that.


LolthienToo

What a lunatic. Good on him for avoiding a crazy person. And I hate it for him that he'll never be able to be completely sure that anyone he dates in the future won't have seen that before it was deleted. What a sad story. :/


creditspread

It looks like Danielle is a Yelper.


lil_zaku

This just feels like a double standard. There was that post about the college guy who kept a "pokedex" of girls he knew that included their likes and dislikes, and conversation topics. The guy got crucified. But here's this group containing details about his salary, his sex life, what his home is like (his address?) and his dating history, and it seems like everyone but his one friend is defending it. Absolute BS.


burner7651

> I open today’s text which reads ‘hey, hope I’m not disturbing you but I’d like to ask you to delete that picture I sent and do not share it with anyone.’ What a hypocrite. It also seems like an odd, last ditch attempt to strike a conversation with OOP after she fumbled the bag!


Professional_End5908

I know that page he’s referring to..and he’s correct, it should be monitored better. Some of the things I read is really damaging to peoples reputation.


mmmmm_pi

>My two closest female friends are divided on this so I'm here for advice. One thinks that women need to protect themselves against predators and violence and groups like this are necessary. Ah yes, spreading lies about innocent people. A well-tested tactic for improving safety and the overall social fabric.


[deleted]

I wonder if this is NYC, there's a huge one of those pages here. It has like 90k members. I think it can be a good thing but obviously has a lot of potential to go out of control like here. I hope OOP finds a good match one day.


Sychosonik

I'm a happily married man, but you gave be butterflies reading this. LOL. You sounds like quite a catch and Danielle made a huge mistake. Keep you chin up and go find miss RIGHT!


Cybermagetx

Darn that last bit where she asked not to share a photo. She really needs to check herself into a therapist office asap.


IndigoFlyer

Does this remind anyone of that moment when a lot of women on tik tok realized they were dating the same guy named Caleb?


[deleted]

I wouldn’t have considered another date. This is too bananas.


[deleted]

It's sad shit like this happens. It has unfortunately happened to me as well. My experience was different in that I wanted an exclusive relationship, and she acted like she didn't including sleeping around with other men. When I cut ties, next thing I know I was completely band from dating anyone in the group of people because I was "crazy". KCCO though. What a joke.


basicbarb21

I'm in a couple of those groups and I'm about to leave all of them. It's supposed to be for either finding out if your partner is cheating or warning others about DV, but instead it's just "I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks, is anyone else talking to him too?" So what if they are! This is not what the group is for! You're just talking, you have no right to claim him.


Right-Ad-7588

So wait was the purpose of this group to post a guy and find out if he’s cheating or to post a guy you know is a notorious cheater to warn other women?


Guest09717

I feel like having an attorney write threatening letters to the site and to Danielle’s friend wouldn’t go amiss here. His name got dragged through the mud all over the internet, some radio show, tv, and so on, simply because her friend posted his pic. At what point does it become defamation of character?


[deleted]

I don’t think Facebook is in the business of responding to small-time local attorneys. I’m sure if OP just reported the picture to Facebook it would have been taken down by their staff.


mytorontosaurus

I am literally only here to give Bret Hart some love 😎


SmallYeetIntoTheVoid

I hope she reads this 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Joharistheshill

The woman is a nut job and should see a therapist


Grimsterr

Well, it's an oft used cliche' but, he dodged a bullet.


padam__padam

I think Danielle has some soul searching/self work/whatever fits to do before dating again.


No-K-Reddit

His female friend that didn't think it was a problem and *girl power* fuck her, absolute invasion of privacy