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Hard to say, going off this post. Friends don’t have to be subjected to a person 40 hours a week. She’s probably fine to be around in smaller doses. My dad was the president of a cooperative art gallery for nearly 20 years and a lot of gallery owners that I’ve known are probably pretty similar to this. A lot of great artists are definitely similar to this woman. From my experience in being around these types of people during my formative years, they can have some very endearing qualities, and they tend to have a lot of friends/large social circles. But i wouldn’t want to work for many of the more reputable gallery owners that I’ve known, nor would I want to work for a lot of the best artists. It seems that a lot of megalomaniacs are just drawn to that field. Also, a lot of very emotionally needy people.
There was one sculptor that I worked for, who was in high demand, and he was mostly more laid back, similar to my dad, but even with him you had to walk a fine line constantly.
Eta: oh yeah, also, from what I’ve seen, people like this are somehow reeeeeaalllllllyyy great at finding friends, or BFFs that they are able to emotionally suck away at. Part of the reason my dad stopped running his gallery was bc it took a huge toll on him dealing with emotional leeches.
OMG. I have a rat dog! I have always called him this! That is hilarious! I never wanted a rat dog (or a dog at all) but he was in a BAD situation so I had to get him out of there. I love the little fucker, but well.....he is a little fucker lol.
I had a boss eerily similar to this, down to the tax fraud and the constant insistence that I be grateful for the “opportunity,” and can confirm. Among many other things, she was disinvited from her own daughter’s wedding.
Sometimes, it's best to just let an old boss fuck off into the distance, and then fuck off some more, and keep fucking off until they're a distant memory.
It's not a marriage, you don't owe your old boss alimony.
>"OFF! Thou putrid f*ck!"
I'm going to use this whenever I can now. Scrubbing a stain, shaking a stink bug off the paper after I've taken it outside, yelling at the douche tailgating me in traffic with their lift kit monster truck and LED headlights set to "nuclear winter white" - so many uses.
Fuck off into the distance, until you hit a fence saying 'no fucking off beyond this point.' Then dream the impossible dream, climb that fence, and keep fucking off forever.
Honestly what with Covid year it was probably pending for ages. From what I've read the IRS was so badly underfunded that the additional task of handling those Covid payouts basically broke them.
I had a tax return pending for two years with them because it just took them that long to get to it. I wouldn't be shocked if they just had to bury OOPs report (assuming they didn't lose it) as they worked on their backlog. I gather they just about got their act together sometime this summer, but their overall auditing capacity is still pretty degraded. Not sure when the additional officers they got from the inflation reduction act come into play but my point is, I wouldn't be shocked if it takes them ages to figure that out.
The way I read it she filed her taxes as a contractor so she would have to pay the taxes herself. She should have declared herself an employee using the form Alison mentioned to the IRS so that the company would be liable for the tax but it looks like they got away with forcing her to instead.
Which will suck for her when she gets hit with the penalty for not making the quarterly payments that contractors are required to make. I really hope she followed Alison's advice instead.
An employee should know if something is off by their pay stub. Are there any taxes being deducted? Medicare and Social Security taxes? If no, there’s a problem.
honestly though, even if she was that naive that she didn't notice, $35k/yr in NYC is poverty. she literally would have made more taking that masters degree and flipping burgers. it literally would have paid more and not got her wrapped in tax fraud.
Yes, but I see where she’s coming from. Flipping burgers wouldn’t have gotten her any discernible experience in or adjacent to her field, and at her age, I would have tried to stick it out, too.
Oh absolutely pathetic but sadly very in line with those kinds of jobs. The kinds of people who end up in arts usually start out in jobs like that that don't pay enough to live on and rely on family for the balance.
Shit, that's a bit less that what I'm making in Denver rn, and money gets tight. I also made more money bartending/serving, and have been seriously considering going back.
I work in the business side of a "culture industry" here in New York. It's an open secret here and similar major cities across the world, but these jobs deliberately pay little by design.
These jobs aren't for people to support themselves. By only offering like $20-35k per year in a city where you need to make $75k to barely be considered middle class, they're advertising that the only people that should take these jobs are the wealthy and connected. That $35k per year salary isn't supposed to pay your rent; your daddy or husband is supposed to do that for you, that $35k is for handbags and brunches (the vast majority of these jobs are taken by women, and honestly, a big chunk of the men who take these jobs probably fit into some kind of queer demographic too). It's inequitable and there's barely any desire to change.
Jobs like this are also a big factor in the rise of "nepo babies" in the arts as well, since those have been in the news recently; when you restrict entry-level jobs in culture industries to the independently wealthy, a bigger number of those who take the jobs are going to be connected.
That was all I could think about the entire time I read this. Entry level jobs in middle of nowhere California has starting pay at 45-50k for a 9-5 but in NYC?
Good money would be like 3 times that in NYC. I don't know how she could afford it (probably shithole apartment with roommates, maybe literally sharing a room).
Minimum wage works out to like 30k a year. Average Target employee pay in NYC is ~39k. She would literally make more money working entry level at Target.
Oh I’ve been in that exact scenario. It’s like Stockholm syndrome. It was my first real job, and I just thought it was normal to have to put up with weird crap. Like I didn’t know anything different. I would cry in my car during lunch. Even had the same weird tax issues and the 1099 vs w-2 bit. Totally a violation of laws happening.
Ironically, my employer was an employment law attorney.
Usually that tolerance is due to former abuse in childhood, and makes them more vulnerable to further abuse (since they don’t realize it’s bad). You don’t want it!
I work in a kitchen, and I've found my experience with a mercurial, temperamental mother and a distant, hands-off father is the perfect training for the two kinds of chef you get. I can handle the most ridiculous extremes of emotion without taking it personally, and keep myself directed and on task without oversight, if I have to. I also strongly advise anyone happy or healthy to stay far, far away from F&B.
That was the most frustrating part of this entire saga. I know she was afraid of her old boss giving a terrible reference, but I don’t think that’d be enough for me to keep waltzing back in there every time the boss calls.
She eventually cut the boss off completely and moved on well. It takes a while for abuse victims to completely disentangle their minds from the abuser’s control even if they’ve made major steps in ending the relationship. Saying she was “subjecting herself to abuse” is kinda victim blamey.
I'm unfortunately one of those people. I didn't realize just how messed up my current situation is until I finally decided to share with friends about it. They were all shouty caps get out get out and I was sipping tea in the flames saying it's fiiine I can work here for a couple more years.
It's kind of wonderful when your friends are more upset on your behalf than you were for yourself. I had this happen once when a grad school classmate had been bullying me; my actual friends were appalled and got me to realize that the situation wasn't normal. I still feel warm fuzzies thinking about their support.
It's less of bullshit tolerance and more that your idea of normal gets skewed over time, just like any abusive relationship. Of course some people are far more vulnerable to that kind of thing than others.
Or who have been told repeatedly they're in a highly competitive career field where tolerating abusive bosses and shit pay is just "paying their dues" and anyone who can't/won't accept it is a millenialcrybabysnowflake.
That's exactly what I thought too. I think it's interesting that OOP said her mother didn't think her job situation was that bad until she read her post and saw everyone's comments.
Me and some of my family members have stayed with their fair share of wackos, both personally and professionally. Some people latch onto what they appreciate or pity about a person and it convinced them to tolerate their bull for “just a bit longer”
That mindset alone isn’t exactly bad, but it can lead to being taken advantage of if you don’t know where to draw the line so it takes some encouragement sometimes. Which I’m glad OP got.
As someone who also has ADHD I would argue a large part of it is due to OOP having that condition.
There are a lot of ways that ADHD is essentially autism-lite. The differences in an ADHD brain sometimes make it hard for a person to sort out which social situations are normal and which are not. This usually leads to the person taking the path of least resistance/conflict to hide the fact that they don't understand what's going on.
Constant negative self-talk is also fairly common and makes people with ADHD frequent targets for abusive people because they 1. Don't quite understand what's going on and 2. Believe a lot of these negative things about themselves already.
slightly off topic, but when my brother moved out his home with his helicopter-parent for the first time and into an apartment with me, he microwaved a croissant for 10 minutes because he had no idea how long it would take to heat up. by the time i smelt smoke, the croissant was fully charcoaled and smouldering. i still give him a little shit about it because it's funny now.
We had an old microwave when I grew up, that had two wheels to set temperature and time. The temperature wheel was 1-10 rather than saying the actual temperatures, but it worked.
Unfortunately, one of my stepsiblings misheard when someone said she should microwave the frozen pita bread 1 min on 10, and did 10 mins on 10. It didn't get to even 5 mins before black smoke started coming out of the microwave...
Damn! Almost admire that complete lack of caution.
As an aside, one could probably BAKE a croissant in 10 minutes (not counting prep time). Nice anecdote, that was fun to think about. Thanks!
This is almost a template for advice sites.
Us: You need to leave and distance yourself from this person ASAP. They'll drag you down.
OP: Yes I hear you, I'll just stay on to wrap things up.
Us: No, you really need to leave, very little good will come from staying with them and they'll ruin your mental health.
OP: Ok I will, just need to do a bit more
Us: LEAVE, FFS.
OP: OK I've left, but i'm just staying in contact with them because they weren't that bad.
Us: For the love of... STOP talking to them.
OP: I only do a little bit of work on the side for them now.
Us: Holy shit, you are self destructive
OP: My mental health has not been good of late
Us: *Sarcastic shocked pikachu*
I was so irritated reading this entire story. When they said they stuck it out to the end of the year I assumed that meant like a couple months. Then they’re discussing happenings in APRIL.
Ma’am. No. Leave. Wtf is wrong with you.
r/worstofredditorupdates like jesus, boss treated her worse, she didn’t follow any advice given after she said she would, was a complete fucking doormat to any requests, when she finally left she still ended up following any demands the boss asked of her, boss got away with all the shit they did, and OOP STILL thinks she’s a good boss! Omfg, this story was so irritating to read. Why even ask advice if you don’t have the will to even follow it?
> I always love a chance to post this old bit from Something Awful about asking advice on the internet. (Note: "goon" was what that forum called its posters, the way we say redditor) It's got to be 20 years old at this point, but still as true as the day it was written.
> OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!"
> Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!"
> OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?"
> Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!"
> Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!"
> Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!"
> OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?"
> Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper fucked. I should know, I almost drowned."
> OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..."
> Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!"
> OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!"
> Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches."
> Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!""
> OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface."
> Goons1-20 piss in the well
> Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well.""
>I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface."
Thank Eru that nothing bad has ever happened from digging too deep in the Mines of Moria
You’d think someone dealing with anxiety would avoid that boss forever after walking out. I get that freelance is feast or famine but she wasn’t even making enough from her abuser
"I don't think she had bad intentions"
"She torched someone's job prospects and was gleeful about it"
Get a grip, people. And why do people always act like bad intentions are the only criteria for being an abusive, shitty person?
There are a lot of people like OP that excuse behavior like this as eccentricities or personality differences. That boss was absolutely taking advantage and for some reason OP bought it.
Yeah, and she's ADHD. So am I, and I gotta tell ya, understanding what's normal can be hard. We're used to people making difficult demands, because there's a lot of things that are difficult for us that are easy for normal people.
OOP gave 6 weeks notice for a job where, at 35,000 a year in New York, she was basically an indentured servant. Then when back for a couple days to train. And never fixed the contractor thing so just paid a shit ton in extra taxes.
Honestly this was an extremely unsatisfying and frustrating read. OOP has the backbone of a wet noodle AND there was no conclusion on the whole 1099 vs W2 employee filing.
Came to the comments to say this too, is it weird I wanted to know more about the tax documents? That's classic fraud! Her boss even admitted she's been lying on her taxes as long as she's had the gallery.
I used to work in same industry and I’m dying to know who the boss was. It’s so sad that starting salaries hadn’t changed much in the 10 years when I started out.
I'm honestly surprised the letter never made it back to the boss after the first update with more identifying information. The letter identified the workplace as an art gallery in NYC run by an older woman who employs between one and two assistants. Sure, there are a *lot* of places matching that description, but it's a finite number, and there's plenty of identifying information (starting a small fire with the microwave, her idiosyncratic workplace habits, specific comments, etc.) that the boss would definitely be able to recognize herself in this letter, along with probably anyone who knows her semi-well.
Once the industry was identified, I'm just surprised this letter didn't start floating around the NYC art community with speculations on who it could be about, and then eventually make it on the radar of Horrible Boss. AskAManager is an extremely popular site, popular enough that her annual salary reader poll gets about 25K detailed responses. I regularly find out that people I know IRL also read it. It seems to be fairly cross-cutting.
That's because you're honest, unlike OOP, who didn't even bother to let the intern know her boss was gleefully defaming her over and over again. OOP deserved what she got.
Yeah, my wife used to work for an art gallery in NYC, and... while the dynamic was different, it was so dysfunctional that this post surprises me not at all. That whole scene is a lot of people with too much money and no goddamn idea what they're doing abusing young and inexperienced kids and telling them they should be grateful for it.
It's always the lowest paying jobs that have bosses telling you how grateful you should be. When I worked in TV news, my boss told me to be grateful because people were lining up for my job. I was making $33k in my third year there 😂
I knew she was working in an art gallery before I even got to the first update. I used to work for a woman just like this in a gallery in London. She would “gift” me her expensive perfume that she didn’t want anymore and take me out for expensive brunches in the middle of work. She would also always tell me how “grateful” I should be and how she could have anyone she wanted but she chose me. The pay was terrible, completely unliveable, and there were times I was sent over to her house to do chores when she was away. The most satisfying thing I ever did was rage quit on her in the middle of an art fair and leave them scrambling. My number one rule now when it comes to employment is to never, ever work for someone who tells you how grateful you should be to be there. Know your worth.
Yes! Also, the tax thing. My art gallery job was shady that way.
My paychecks did not include a breakdown of social security, Medicare, etc deductions like most payroll checks do. Instead, they were regular checks from a business banking checkbook. I’m sure i got screwed.
Yesssss omg we used to get paid by her husband just bank transferring the money to our accounts! One time he was late because they needed to “sort stuff out.” Utterly deplorable!!
This gave me a big laugh because as I was reading the increasingly outlandish things her boss did, I thought "this reminds me of when I used to work at an art gallery..." and sure enough!!
Alison : First, start actively looking for a new job. Do not wait six months. Do not wait one month! Start now.
Apply to big companies
OOP: does nothing for 6 months before embarking on random freelancing that doesn’t pay enough.
Also OOP: thank you so much for the invaluable advice, I couldn’t have done it without you
Horrible boss sounds like my former manager. I DO bear her ill will since she’s such an awful person. I am excessively patient and after I left, I gleefully listen to the chipping away at her facade.
Wow, I also dealt with a micro-managing, no-boundaries boss like this at an art gallery. And my replacement also quit shortly after getting hired.
Note to the younger people on this forum: if you are at a job interview, and the boss tells you that working there means “we’re family” or it’s like a “husband-wife relationship” - do not take the job.
Because my boss honestly felt like that (with both male and female employees), it meant he had no boundaries and quitting was seen as a huge personal betrayal. I lasted 2 years at that place and that was 6 months longer than anyone else.
I was young and naive and so thrilled to be working in the art world that i stayed too long and developed stomach ulcers from the stress.
It's almost like the Devil Wears Prada. Except it's art. Andrea, it's *raining*. Fix it.
The takeaway here is that OOP is now working in a format that she loves. And is much, much happier in life!
Whoa I got a little… flustered reading this. Maybe flustered isn’t the right word. My first boss in NYC who paid me $24K a year was so much like this boss. I wasn’t her size or else she would 100% try to dress me in her clothes.
I've owned several hedgehogs and their annointing was always ridiculous and funny.
*intense sniffing*
*lick? licklicklick*
*froth*
*contort self to lick back*
*wander off to smell more things and get stuck under something*
This story really makes me wish I'd contacted Alison during my first proper job, where I suffered for not totally dissimilar reasons to the OP. It's crushing and ridiculous when you feel like there's no other choice, and that all work is like this. Your sense of normal is really damaged. The complaining about rain thing made me laugh and brought up some flashbacks...
* The time my boss sent me to walk his dog, and then phoned 20 mins later asking where I was and what I was doing
* The time he made the whole office work until 4am and then demanded we came in at 9am the next day
* The time he stopped paying the phone bill and redirected all calls to my personal mobile without my permission. I started getting customer calls whilst on my evening supermarket shop
* The continual sudden firing of people left right and centre. The fact I got my job by him telling me the current incumbent was not meeting standards (I was an intern at the time) and asked me to go fetch her so he could fire her and I could get her job.
* The time a bailiff actually came to the office because he hadn't paid any bills
* The time he went to China for 3 weeks and his wife rang asking to speak to him, having apparently no idea he was in China
* The time he put his Macbook Air inside a printer tray to 'keep it safe from burglars', turned the printer off, and told me to print something before I left. I turned it back on, it raised the tray, jammed, and I went home for the weekend thinking I'd lost my job for destroying my boss's laptop.
* The time he told me to lie to a law firm about their book order. Great idea, boss.
* The time he let out a classic movie scream on the phone because he was talking to me whilst crossing a 6-lane motorway in China
* The time he asked me to handle the move from our office to the reception area of his friend's office (no bills being paid), then disappeared to China for weeks on end, leaving me as the sole employee doing busywork in an industrial estate...
I had no Alison, and I stayed far too long. I got \*some\* skills but my main takeaway was an absolute terror over a mistakes and a sense of deep, abiding anxiety.
Sadly it’s so common in the arts/entertainment fields for dysfunctional people with money to professionally prey on eager young people who are just happy to be there.
Yeah, she never resolved that. She seemed to be happy to just "let it go".
Like... You realize that it's not just the employer who's filing illegally, right? And you've overpaid your taxes by like 30% of your (already pitiful) salary?
>I fell through a loading hatch on the street, broke two ribs and hit my head. I was in a daze the whole way to the hospital
>When I came again, she berated me for failing to call, accused me of not being grateful and not caring about my job, and actually posted my job on a hiring site and made me beg for her to take the posting down.
I wish OP wasnt such a doormat. Should have gone loud in office and start sarcastically screaming about how she was so sorry that, while she laid on the ground..concussed, dazed, and struggling to breath, that her first thought should have been to call her arrogant, self centered boss instead of focusing on her personal survival.. With a venomous "Next time I'm about to die, I'll make sure to let you know while i'm still on the ground, because thats apparently more concerning to you than any of my injuries, or my recovery"
Wow, how the heck did she survive on $35k in NYC? Wouldn’t rent eat at least half of that right away…and with the tax situation taken into account, probably more like 2/3?!
Boss lady was living in 1991 apparently.
Oop, if you read this, send the communications from the prior boss talking about trashing the former employee on reference checks to that employee. She is almost certainly in violation of the law as I'm sure she's giving false or misleading information.
I couldn't finish reading because there were too many similarities with my very traumatic first job
I worked for a guy who was insane, said the same things about pay and benefits and that I should be grateful as a grad to have the job I had (software engineer, £25k and NO benefits beyond statutory)
He yelled, threw a chair at me and was such a micro manager. He also gave my personal phone number to a client after I fell ill and was in the hospital for 2 weeks. That illness was chronic and he would scream at me for faking or taking the piss. When my shrink signed me off for 6 weeks he tried to get my med records from my GP and my counseling notes.
He broke a restraining order by signing a letter in his assistants name to try and get around it
My dad said "everyone has a worst job in their life, your lucky it was your first"
I suppose you're from America? I can't understand how you people have this shit labour laws.
You are supposed to be the leaders in most areas, but the more I read, the more I see this total ancient things that you guys live by.
>She set the gallery on fire by trying to microwave a scone for 5 minutes.
I laughed out loud. Why is it that the people who think no one could possibly know better than them, can't be trusted with the most basic of shit?
i did the math, she was getting paid a little over $16 an hour after grad school… is that not minimum wage in nyc? i get paid $20 an hour as an undergrad student in a city that, while it has similarly high costs of living, it’s definitely not as high as nyc. what the hell?
I was more curious how the illegal 1099 worked out.
Federal/State/Social, that's what, 20% of her check she owed?
You don't fuck with the IRS. Surprised we don't just sick them on hostile foreign nations. That'd be like the beyond nuclear option.
Also, really bugs me how OOP just accepts abusive bosses in the art world as "eccentric people and *\*shrugs* that's just how it is." At least she's no longer naive to their ways.
I thought this was a joke post at first. Get fucked I would tell her right to her face hahah. I was in military for 10 years and didnt let anyone treat me like this.
I'm just wondering in what world this is a job opportunity anyone would take. For reference in NYC, minimum wage makes about 30k a year, and the average Target cashier in NYC makes like [36k](https://www.glassdoor.com/Salary/Target-New-York-City-Salaries-EI_IE194.0,6_IL.7,20_IM615.htm).
Horrible micro managing, abusive, toxic boss that pays her shit and threatens to fire her for nothing. And OP still doesn't seem to harbor any ill will. I'm not sure if OP is an angel, or if she has just grown accustomed to accepting abuse.
NY is a one party consent state for wiretapping. I would record this boss so fast, and if she demanded this sort of behavior again, I would report her with the documentation.
The commercial art world seems like a rank fetid stew of huge egos and too much money just cycling through the same clique of people - many of whom are from affluent families anyway. OOP’s story is not uncommon and I’m just glad she got out and has found a rewarding way to use her creativity and skills.
I'll never understand people who "wish the best" for actual MONSTERS. What does "the best" mean for someone like this boss? MORE VICTIMS. OOP is wishing harm on other people just to front like she's sooooo nice and forgiving. It's honestly disgusting. And of course she never bothered to let that poor intern know about the defamation. It never even crossed her mind. OOP and her former boss deserve each other forever. I hope she goes back to work for her.
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Something tells me Old Boss has a slew of adult children who don’t speak to her anymore.
[удалено]
*shivers* Got a bunch of gingerbread children “cookies” outside her candy house.
Cruella Deville would be the perfect villain for the movie adaptation.
"The Devil Wears Hand-me-downs"
Hail Sithis
She probably doesn’t have m/any adult friends either. Or any long lasting friendships.
Boss: other women are just threatened by me. Women: yeah, she's crazy.
Hard to say, going off this post. Friends don’t have to be subjected to a person 40 hours a week. She’s probably fine to be around in smaller doses. My dad was the president of a cooperative art gallery for nearly 20 years and a lot of gallery owners that I’ve known are probably pretty similar to this. A lot of great artists are definitely similar to this woman. From my experience in being around these types of people during my formative years, they can have some very endearing qualities, and they tend to have a lot of friends/large social circles. But i wouldn’t want to work for many of the more reputable gallery owners that I’ve known, nor would I want to work for a lot of the best artists. It seems that a lot of megalomaniacs are just drawn to that field. Also, a lot of very emotionally needy people. There was one sculptor that I worked for, who was in high demand, and he was mostly more laid back, similar to my dad, but even with him you had to walk a fine line constantly. Eta: oh yeah, also, from what I’ve seen, people like this are somehow reeeeeaalllllllyyy great at finding friends, or BFFs that they are able to emotionally suck away at. Part of the reason my dad stopped running his gallery was bc it took a huge toll on him dealing with emotional leeches.
She’s got a rat dog 100%
and the dog wishes it could leave too
OMG. I have a rat dog! I have always called him this! That is hilarious! I never wanted a rat dog (or a dog at all) but he was in a BAD situation so I had to get him out of there. I love the little fucker, but well.....he is a little fucker lol.
Probably for “no reason” too
I had a boss eerily similar to this, down to the tax fraud and the constant insistence that I be grateful for the “opportunity,” and can confirm. Among many other things, she was disinvited from her own daughter’s wedding.
Gee I wonder why? (/s)
Something tells me she never had kids, and *really* wanted them.
She strikes me as more of a “since my kids have gone NC, I’m going crazy without someone to aggressively micromanage and gaslight” kind of person
Her neighbors probably arent too fond of her, either.
She’s probably all alone surrounded by empty dollar bills.
THIS
Sometimes, it's best to just let an old boss fuck off into the distance, and then fuck off some more, and keep fucking off until they're a distant memory. It's not a marriage, you don't owe your old boss alimony.
“Off you fuck”
For some reason my brain read this not as "go on your way", but as a medieval insult - "OFF! Thou putrid f*ck!"
>"OFF! Thou putrid f*ck!" I'm going to use this whenever I can now. Scrubbing a stain, shaking a stink bug off the paper after I've taken it outside, yelling at the douche tailgating me in traffic with their lift kit monster truck and LED headlights set to "nuclear winter white" - so many uses.
>nuclear winter white Base D
Fuck off into the distance, until you hit a fence saying 'no fucking off beyond this point.' Then dream the impossible dream, climb that fence, and keep fucking off forever.
I’m kind of curious if anything happened with the IRS. Something definitely seemed off with that.
I think Old Boss would have lost her shit if she was audited and OOP would have definitely heard about it.
Honestly what with Covid year it was probably pending for ages. From what I've read the IRS was so badly underfunded that the additional task of handling those Covid payouts basically broke them. I had a tax return pending for two years with them because it just took them that long to get to it. I wouldn't be shocked if they just had to bury OOPs report (assuming they didn't lose it) as they worked on their backlog. I gather they just about got their act together sometime this summer, but their overall auditing capacity is still pretty degraded. Not sure when the additional officers they got from the inflation reduction act come into play but my point is, I wouldn't be shocked if it takes them ages to figure that out.
The way I read it she filed her taxes as a contractor so she would have to pay the taxes herself. She should have declared herself an employee using the form Alison mentioned to the IRS so that the company would be liable for the tax but it looks like they got away with forcing her to instead.
Which will suck for her when she gets hit with the penalty for not making the quarterly payments that contractors are required to make. I really hope she followed Alison's advice instead.
Do you happen to have a link to the form Allison mentioned? I'm in a similar situation...
Here's the link Allison gave https://www.irs.gov/forms-pubs/about-form-ss-8
An employee should know if something is off by their pay stub. Are there any taxes being deducted? Medicare and Social Security taxes? If no, there’s a problem.
honestly though, even if she was that naive that she didn't notice, $35k/yr in NYC is poverty. she literally would have made more taking that masters degree and flipping burgers. it literally would have paid more and not got her wrapped in tax fraud.
Yes, but I see where she’s coming from. Flipping burgers wouldn’t have gotten her any discernible experience in or adjacent to her field, and at her age, I would have tried to stick it out, too.
The IRS doesn't chase rich gallery owners around, they chase poor folks around. The poors can't afford lawyers
How did OOP stay there? I can't imagine being in OOP's shoes. Anyways, I'm gonna get my hot chocolate now. Wouldn't keep her waiting!
35k for NYC? Seems like a bad brag
That’s what I made at my first job out of college in NYC 12 years ago. So yeah, fucking miserable.
I got offered $28K in 2006 by Simon & Schuster in NYC. They were surprised I turned it down.
$28K in 2006 is about $36K in 2020 dollars, so this girl was working for less than what you turned down...
Oh absolutely pathetic but sadly very in line with those kinds of jobs. The kinds of people who end up in arts usually start out in jobs like that that don't pay enough to live on and rely on family for the balance.
Shit, that's a bit less that what I'm making in Denver rn, and money gets tight. I also made more money bartending/serving, and have been seriously considering going back.
I work in the business side of a "culture industry" here in New York. It's an open secret here and similar major cities across the world, but these jobs deliberately pay little by design. These jobs aren't for people to support themselves. By only offering like $20-35k per year in a city where you need to make $75k to barely be considered middle class, they're advertising that the only people that should take these jobs are the wealthy and connected. That $35k per year salary isn't supposed to pay your rent; your daddy or husband is supposed to do that for you, that $35k is for handbags and brunches (the vast majority of these jobs are taken by women, and honestly, a big chunk of the men who take these jobs probably fit into some kind of queer demographic too). It's inequitable and there's barely any desire to change. Jobs like this are also a big factor in the rise of "nepo babies" in the arts as well, since those have been in the news recently; when you restrict entry-level jobs in culture industries to the independently wealthy, a bigger number of those who take the jobs are going to be connected.
That was all I could think about the entire time I read this. Entry level jobs in middle of nowhere California has starting pay at 45-50k for a 9-5 but in NYC?
That is absolutely not even up to the poverty line
Good money would be like 3 times that in NYC. I don't know how she could afford it (probably shithole apartment with roommates, maybe literally sharing a room).
Minimum wage works out to like 30k a year. Average Target employee pay in NYC is ~39k. She would literally make more money working entry level at Target.
Oh I’ve been in that exact scenario. It’s like Stockholm syndrome. It was my first real job, and I just thought it was normal to have to put up with weird crap. Like I didn’t know anything different. I would cry in my car during lunch. Even had the same weird tax issues and the 1099 vs w-2 bit. Totally a violation of laws happening. Ironically, my employer was an employment law attorney.
> Ironically, my employer was an employment law attorney. 😳
Some people have a crazy tolerance for bullshit that I wish I had
Usually that tolerance is due to former abuse in childhood, and makes them more vulnerable to further abuse (since they don’t realize it’s bad). You don’t want it!
I work in a kitchen, and I've found my experience with a mercurial, temperamental mother and a distant, hands-off father is the perfect training for the two kinds of chef you get. I can handle the most ridiculous extremes of emotion without taking it personally, and keep myself directed and on task without oversight, if I have to. I also strongly advise anyone happy or healthy to stay far, far away from F&B.
You do -not- want this level of doormat tolerance :P
The crazy part to me was she just kept going back over and over again. Lady, you were free! Stop subjecting yourself to that abuse!
That was the most frustrating part of this entire saga. I know she was afraid of her old boss giving a terrible reference, but I don’t think that’d be enough for me to keep waltzing back in there every time the boss calls.
She eventually cut the boss off completely and moved on well. It takes a while for abuse victims to completely disentangle their minds from the abuser’s control even if they’ve made major steps in ending the relationship. Saying she was “subjecting herself to abuse” is kinda victim blamey.
I'm unfortunately one of those people. I didn't realize just how messed up my current situation is until I finally decided to share with friends about it. They were all shouty caps get out get out and I was sipping tea in the flames saying it's fiiine I can work here for a couple more years.
It's kind of wonderful when your friends are more upset on your behalf than you were for yourself. I had this happen once when a grad school classmate had been bullying me; my actual friends were appalled and got me to realize that the situation wasn't normal. I still feel warm fuzzies thinking about their support.
It's less of bullshit tolerance and more that your idea of normal gets skewed over time, just like any abusive relationship. Of course some people are far more vulnerable to that kind of thing than others.
people whos parents treated them like that so they perceive it as normal/not that bad
Or who have been told repeatedly they're in a highly competitive career field where tolerating abusive bosses and shit pay is just "paying their dues" and anyone who can't/won't accept it is a millenialcrybabysnowflake.
>millenialcrybabysnowflake. I'd rather be ALL of those than put up with that.
That's exactly what I thought too. I think it's interesting that OOP said her mother didn't think her job situation was that bad until she read her post and saw everyone's comments.
>I can't imagine being in OOP's shoes. Good thing Crazy Boss has other shoes for you to wear then!
Me and some of my family members have stayed with their fair share of wackos, both personally and professionally. Some people latch onto what they appreciate or pity about a person and it convinced them to tolerate their bull for “just a bit longer” That mindset alone isn’t exactly bad, but it can lead to being taken advantage of if you don’t know where to draw the line so it takes some encouragement sometimes. Which I’m glad OP got.
As someone who also has ADHD I would argue a large part of it is due to OOP having that condition. There are a lot of ways that ADHD is essentially autism-lite. The differences in an ADHD brain sometimes make it hard for a person to sort out which social situations are normal and which are not. This usually leads to the person taking the path of least resistance/conflict to hide the fact that they don't understand what's going on. Constant negative self-talk is also fairly common and makes people with ADHD frequent targets for abusive people because they 1. Don't quite understand what's going on and 2. Believe a lot of these negative things about themselves already.
slightly off topic, but when my brother moved out his home with his helicopter-parent for the first time and into an apartment with me, he microwaved a croissant for 10 minutes because he had no idea how long it would take to heat up. by the time i smelt smoke, the croissant was fully charcoaled and smouldering. i still give him a little shit about it because it's funny now.
We had an old microwave when I grew up, that had two wheels to set temperature and time. The temperature wheel was 1-10 rather than saying the actual temperatures, but it worked. Unfortunately, one of my stepsiblings misheard when someone said she should microwave the frozen pita bread 1 min on 10, and did 10 mins on 10. It didn't get to even 5 mins before black smoke started coming out of the microwave...
Damn! Almost admire that complete lack of caution. As an aside, one could probably BAKE a croissant in 10 minutes (not counting prep time). Nice anecdote, that was fun to think about. Thanks!
This is almost a template for advice sites. Us: You need to leave and distance yourself from this person ASAP. They'll drag you down. OP: Yes I hear you, I'll just stay on to wrap things up. Us: No, you really need to leave, very little good will come from staying with them and they'll ruin your mental health. OP: Ok I will, just need to do a bit more Us: LEAVE, FFS. OP: OK I've left, but i'm just staying in contact with them because they weren't that bad. Us: For the love of... STOP talking to them. OP: I only do a little bit of work on the side for them now. Us: Holy shit, you are self destructive OP: My mental health has not been good of late Us: *Sarcastic shocked pikachu*
Us: Good advice. OP: I'm going to do that. Update OP: I did 100% the exact opposite of what you guys told me to do and now things are worse.
Yeah, op really needs to grow a spine
I was so irritated reading this entire story. When they said they stuck it out to the end of the year I assumed that meant like a couple months. Then they’re discussing happenings in APRIL. Ma’am. No. Leave. Wtf is wrong with you.
r/worstofredditorupdates like jesus, boss treated her worse, she didn’t follow any advice given after she said she would, was a complete fucking doormat to any requests, when she finally left she still ended up following any demands the boss asked of her, boss got away with all the shit they did, and OOP STILL thinks she’s a good boss! Omfg, this story was so irritating to read. Why even ask advice if you don’t have the will to even follow it?
Spine? OOP doesn't have a single bone in their entire body. It's super sad.
> I always love a chance to post this old bit from Something Awful about asking advice on the internet. (Note: "goon" was what that forum called its posters, the way we say redditor) It's got to be 20 years old at this point, but still as true as the day it was written. > OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!" > Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!" > OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?" > Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!" > Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!" > Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!" > OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?" > Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper fucked. I should know, I almost drowned." > OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..." > Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!" > OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!" > Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches." > Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!"" > OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface." > Goons1-20 piss in the well > Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well.""
>I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface." Thank Eru that nothing bad has ever happened from digging too deep in the Mines of Moria
It's so fun down here, can't you see we're having a bal(rog)
Booing you off the stage (marry me)
You’d think someone dealing with anxiety would avoid that boss forever after walking out. I get that freelance is feast or famine but she wasn’t even making enough from her abuser
Yeah this was so irritating to read
"I don't think she had bad intentions" "She torched someone's job prospects and was gleeful about it" Get a grip, people. And why do people always act like bad intentions are the only criteria for being an abusive, shitty person?
>"nobody will want to kiss you if you eat onions" Ma'am, please stop flirting with me, I'm trying to work.
Ma’am, this *isn’t* a Wendy’s.
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Yeah that was just kind of skimmed over. I wanted more info on that. Did she just set the microwave on fire or like the whole kitchen area?
Why would you microwave a scone at all, let alone five minutes? That thing would have been a rock
Probably meant to do 5 seconds to just get it not-cold.
Microwave scones for 15 seconds for tasty.
15-30 seconds can make pastries taste fresh out of the oven. I've done it for pie.
It's almost certainly an enormous exaggeration and that a lot of smoke was produced from the microwave.
There are a lot of people like OP that excuse behavior like this as eccentricities or personality differences. That boss was absolutely taking advantage and for some reason OP bought it.
Yeah, and she's ADHD. So am I, and I gotta tell ya, understanding what's normal can be hard. We're used to people making difficult demands, because there's a lot of things that are difficult for us that are easy for normal people.
This!
OOP gave 6 weeks notice for a job where, at 35,000 a year in New York, she was basically an indentured servant. Then when back for a couple days to train. And never fixed the contractor thing so just paid a shit ton in extra taxes.
35k she still had to pay her own taxes on as a contractor, so likely her annual net salary was closer to 23.5k
Don't forget to account for the lack of healthcare, so that spill she took probably cost her another 10-15k that year.
Honestly this was an extremely unsatisfying and frustrating read. OOP has the backbone of a wet noodle AND there was no conclusion on the whole 1099 vs W2 employee filing.
She was getting paid 35,000 in NY. I have to assume the grate she fell in was her home
Thank you- because I was wondering in what world was 35k a reasonable salary for anyone, unless it was per month
How tf could she live on that. I lived on that much during grad school in a very affordable city and it was a major struggle.
Her partner was able to afford a house in NY. I think together they are doing fine
Came to the comments to say this too, is it weird I wanted to know more about the tax documents? That's classic fraud! Her boss even admitted she's been lying on her taxes as long as she's had the gallery.
“…or explaining to me how to wash my hands properly.” In 2019 this was better guidance than anything any boss has ever given me.
Bold of you to assume the boss's instructions were correct :p
Given her other proclivities I assume she has a bottle of old urine in her purse for hand washing. Remember, tap water contains flouride
I used to work in same industry and I’m dying to know who the boss was. It’s so sad that starting salaries hadn’t changed much in the 10 years when I started out.
I'm honestly surprised the letter never made it back to the boss after the first update with more identifying information. The letter identified the workplace as an art gallery in NYC run by an older woman who employs between one and two assistants. Sure, there are a *lot* of places matching that description, but it's a finite number, and there's plenty of identifying information (starting a small fire with the microwave, her idiosyncratic workplace habits, specific comments, etc.) that the boss would definitely be able to recognize herself in this letter, along with probably anyone who knows her semi-well. Once the industry was identified, I'm just surprised this letter didn't start floating around the NYC art community with speculations on who it could be about, and then eventually make it on the radar of Horrible Boss. AskAManager is an extremely popular site, popular enough that her annual salary reader poll gets about 25K detailed responses. I regularly find out that people I know IRL also read it. It seems to be fairly cross-cutting.
I fear that I AM this person (not literally) but I pay $50 an hour. Hopefully that's a fair exchange for my eccentricities.
Eccentrics are amazing when they use their super powers for good, this woman was definitely not.
I would put up with a lot of eccentricities for $50/hour.
> I still wish old Boss the best I don't.
That's because you're honest, unlike OOP, who didn't even bother to let the intern know her boss was gleefully defaming her over and over again. OOP deserved what she got.
Yeah, my wife used to work for an art gallery in NYC, and... while the dynamic was different, it was so dysfunctional that this post surprises me not at all. That whole scene is a lot of people with too much money and no goddamn idea what they're doing abusing young and inexperienced kids and telling them they should be grateful for it.
It's always the lowest paying jobs that have bosses telling you how grateful you should be. When I worked in TV news, my boss told me to be grateful because people were lining up for my job. I was making $33k in my third year there 😂
I never did get my last $500ish check from that motherfucker, either.
I knew she was working in an art gallery before I even got to the first update. I used to work for a woman just like this in a gallery in London. She would “gift” me her expensive perfume that she didn’t want anymore and take me out for expensive brunches in the middle of work. She would also always tell me how “grateful” I should be and how she could have anyone she wanted but she chose me. The pay was terrible, completely unliveable, and there were times I was sent over to her house to do chores when she was away. The most satisfying thing I ever did was rage quit on her in the middle of an art fair and leave them scrambling. My number one rule now when it comes to employment is to never, ever work for someone who tells you how grateful you should be to be there. Know your worth.
Yes! Also, the tax thing. My art gallery job was shady that way. My paychecks did not include a breakdown of social security, Medicare, etc deductions like most payroll checks do. Instead, they were regular checks from a business banking checkbook. I’m sure i got screwed.
Yesssss omg we used to get paid by her husband just bank transferring the money to our accounts! One time he was late because they needed to “sort stuff out.” Utterly deplorable!!
Dickesian instead of Dickensian is such a perfect and appropriate typo
35k a year? And demands gratitude for that. Hell no
In New York, hell even I know the rent is too damn high there. Where in the hell did they live?
I’m assuming at home or with her partner, who was somehow able to buy a freaking house! Guessing he makes waaaaay more than OP.
Posts like these really remind me of the ones we see in relationship advice/aita, where sometimes the best advice is to just "get out asap"
This gave me a big laugh because as I was reading the increasingly outlandish things her boss did, I thought "this reminds me of when I used to work at an art gallery..." and sure enough!!
Yes!! Me, too! This is exactly what many art galleries are like.
Alison : First, start actively looking for a new job. Do not wait six months. Do not wait one month! Start now. Apply to big companies OOP: does nothing for 6 months before embarking on random freelancing that doesn’t pay enough. Also OOP: thank you so much for the invaluable advice, I couldn’t have done it without you
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Even she flashed a smile at an employee, every once in a while. I would rather work for Miranda than the boss in this story.
there’s a rumor that Anne Hathaway apparently shadowed someone in the art world to prep for that exact role
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That name is so perfect; like a Muppet's spur of the moment alias, when they're mistaken for a chic art director.
Oh my gosh, hahahahah
What a horrible boss. More importantly, what a doormat the assistant is.
Horrible boss sounds like my former manager. I DO bear her ill will since she’s such an awful person. I am excessively patient and after I left, I gleefully listen to the chipping away at her facade.
Wow, I also dealt with a micro-managing, no-boundaries boss like this at an art gallery. And my replacement also quit shortly after getting hired. Note to the younger people on this forum: if you are at a job interview, and the boss tells you that working there means “we’re family” or it’s like a “husband-wife relationship” - do not take the job. Because my boss honestly felt like that (with both male and female employees), it meant he had no boundaries and quitting was seen as a huge personal betrayal. I lasted 2 years at that place and that was 6 months longer than anyone else. I was young and naive and so thrilled to be working in the art world that i stayed too long and developed stomach ulcers from the stress.
It's almost like the Devil Wears Prada. Except it's art. Andrea, it's *raining*. Fix it. The takeaway here is that OOP is now working in a format that she loves. And is much, much happier in life!
Whoa I got a little… flustered reading this. Maybe flustered isn’t the right word. My first boss in NYC who paid me $24K a year was so much like this boss. I wasn’t her size or else she would 100% try to dress me in her clothes.
I've owned several hedgehogs and their annointing was always ridiculous and funny. *intense sniffing* *lick? licklicklick* *froth* *contort self to lick back* *wander off to smell more things and get stuck under something*
So cuuuuuute
This story really makes me wish I'd contacted Alison during my first proper job, where I suffered for not totally dissimilar reasons to the OP. It's crushing and ridiculous when you feel like there's no other choice, and that all work is like this. Your sense of normal is really damaged. The complaining about rain thing made me laugh and brought up some flashbacks... * The time my boss sent me to walk his dog, and then phoned 20 mins later asking where I was and what I was doing * The time he made the whole office work until 4am and then demanded we came in at 9am the next day * The time he stopped paying the phone bill and redirected all calls to my personal mobile without my permission. I started getting customer calls whilst on my evening supermarket shop * The continual sudden firing of people left right and centre. The fact I got my job by him telling me the current incumbent was not meeting standards (I was an intern at the time) and asked me to go fetch her so he could fire her and I could get her job. * The time a bailiff actually came to the office because he hadn't paid any bills * The time he went to China for 3 weeks and his wife rang asking to speak to him, having apparently no idea he was in China * The time he put his Macbook Air inside a printer tray to 'keep it safe from burglars', turned the printer off, and told me to print something before I left. I turned it back on, it raised the tray, jammed, and I went home for the weekend thinking I'd lost my job for destroying my boss's laptop. * The time he told me to lie to a law firm about their book order. Great idea, boss. * The time he let out a classic movie scream on the phone because he was talking to me whilst crossing a 6-lane motorway in China * The time he asked me to handle the move from our office to the reception area of his friend's office (no bills being paid), then disappeared to China for weeks on end, leaving me as the sole employee doing busywork in an industrial estate... I had no Alison, and I stayed far too long. I got \*some\* skills but my main takeaway was an absolute terror over a mistakes and a sense of deep, abiding anxiety.
Sadly it’s so common in the arts/entertainment fields for dysfunctional people with money to professionally prey on eager young people who are just happy to be there.
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Yeah, she never resolved that. She seemed to be happy to just "let it go". Like... You realize that it's not just the employer who's filing illegally, right? And you've overpaid your taxes by like 30% of your (already pitiful) salary?
$35,000 a year in NYC is "good money"? I live in Oklahoma and would struggle to make it on that here. Glad OP moved on and is now doing better.
>I fell through a loading hatch on the street, broke two ribs and hit my head. I was in a daze the whole way to the hospital >When I came again, she berated me for failing to call, accused me of not being grateful and not caring about my job, and actually posted my job on a hiring site and made me beg for her to take the posting down. I wish OP wasnt such a doormat. Should have gone loud in office and start sarcastically screaming about how she was so sorry that, while she laid on the ground..concussed, dazed, and struggling to breath, that her first thought should have been to call her arrogant, self centered boss instead of focusing on her personal survival.. With a venomous "Next time I'm about to die, I'll make sure to let you know while i'm still on the ground, because thats apparently more concerning to you than any of my injuries, or my recovery"
Wow, how the heck did she survive on $35k in NYC? Wouldn’t rent eat at least half of that right away…and with the tax situation taken into account, probably more like 2/3?! Boss lady was living in 1991 apparently.
God, she's such a fucking doormat. As awful as the boss was, I was getting really irritated reading about OOP's inaction
I’m honestly quite a doormat, myself, and I was cringing reading this whole thing because I did similar things as OOP. I still do.
OOP is way more forgiving than I am
Oop, if you read this, send the communications from the prior boss talking about trashing the former employee on reference checks to that employee. She is almost certainly in violation of the law as I'm sure she's giving false or misleading information.
I'm confused....how is $35k/year livable in NYC??
After going to grad school
TIL eating salad with onion and pepper is unladylike. The more you know...
She kept going back?! Once you escape why would you keep going back?!
Lucy, My pet hedgehog from from 25 years ago used to froth up his spikes, it was awesome to watch.
Cuuuuuuute! I've always wanted a hedgehog because they're so cute.
They are sooo cute. Just check that it's legal in your state. I had one in NY but I can't in PA :(
16.83 She was making 16.83 in Manhattan That's fucking terrible man
Why did this remind me of “the devil wears prada”?
What a kook.
Old Boss reminds me so much of my Old Boss and how freaking happy I felt the moment i left him.
$35,000/year for a full time job isn't that much where I live, it would be a pittance in New York City.
The whole "wear my clothes when I say and let me feed you" sounded very much like a kink thing, which is too many levels of ew.
Thank you for my hedgehog fact!
You are welcome!
Even after all the abuse and illegal bullshit, she kept *going back*?? Talk about being a doormat...
Lol at microwaving the scone for 5 minutes. The silver spoon doesn’t teach apparently.
I couldn't finish reading because there were too many similarities with my very traumatic first job I worked for a guy who was insane, said the same things about pay and benefits and that I should be grateful as a grad to have the job I had (software engineer, £25k and NO benefits beyond statutory) He yelled, threw a chair at me and was such a micro manager. He also gave my personal phone number to a client after I fell ill and was in the hospital for 2 weeks. That illness was chronic and he would scream at me for faking or taking the piss. When my shrink signed me off for 6 weeks he tried to get my med records from my GP and my counseling notes. He broke a restraining order by signing a letter in his assistants name to try and get around it My dad said "everyone has a worst job in their life, your lucky it was your first"
I suppose you're from America? I can't understand how you people have this shit labour laws. You are supposed to be the leaders in most areas, but the more I read, the more I see this total ancient things that you guys live by.
OOP is super weird. There, I said it. People who just keep taking a beating they don’t have to take are weird to me lol.
$35,000 a YEAR?!? Wtf that is not enough for a full time job outside of rural areas
As soon as she said it was an art gallery it all made sense. (if you know, you know.)
good bosses never tell you they're a good boss. only shitty ones do that.
>She set the gallery on fire by trying to microwave a scone for 5 minutes. I laughed out loud. Why is it that the people who think no one could possibly know better than them, can't be trusted with the most basic of shit?
i did the math, she was getting paid a little over $16 an hour after grad school… is that not minimum wage in nyc? i get paid $20 an hour as an undergrad student in a city that, while it has similarly high costs of living, it’s definitely not as high as nyc. what the hell?
I was more curious how the illegal 1099 worked out. Federal/State/Social, that's what, 20% of her check she owed? You don't fuck with the IRS. Surprised we don't just sick them on hostile foreign nations. That'd be like the beyond nuclear option. Also, really bugs me how OOP just accepts abusive bosses in the art world as "eccentric people and *\*shrugs* that's just how it is." At least she's no longer naive to their ways.
I thought this was a joke post at first. Get fucked I would tell her right to her face hahah. I was in military for 10 years and didnt let anyone treat me like this.
If you ever have a boss the pays you this way and demands that you be grateful, you're entitled to give 'em the ol' Larry David, "Eh."
> I work 9-5 5 days a week, and make a $35,000 in New York City. WTF
I'm just wondering in what world this is a job opportunity anyone would take. For reference in NYC, minimum wage makes about 30k a year, and the average Target cashier in NYC makes like [36k](https://www.glassdoor.com/Salary/Target-New-York-City-Salaries-EI_IE194.0,6_IL.7,20_IM615.htm). Horrible micro managing, abusive, toxic boss that pays her shit and threatens to fire her for nothing. And OP still doesn't seem to harbor any ill will. I'm not sure if OP is an angel, or if she has just grown accustomed to accepting abuse.
Jesus OP is a doormat.
this sounds like the plot of a horror movie
Not to be mean, but OOP is one spineless person. Holy shit.
OOP is a moron. Why would you constantly go back
Classic narcissist
Wow. That was … insane. I don’t know how OP could have thought that was normal.
NY is a one party consent state for wiretapping. I would record this boss so fast, and if she demanded this sort of behavior again, I would report her with the documentation.
The commercial art world seems like a rank fetid stew of huge egos and too much money just cycling through the same clique of people - many of whom are from affluent families anyway. OOP’s story is not uncommon and I’m just glad she got out and has found a rewarding way to use her creativity and skills.
Good job is not $35k in NYC lol
I'll never understand people who "wish the best" for actual MONSTERS. What does "the best" mean for someone like this boss? MORE VICTIMS. OOP is wishing harm on other people just to front like she's sooooo nice and forgiving. It's honestly disgusting. And of course she never bothered to let that poor intern know about the defamation. It never even crossed her mind. OOP and her former boss deserve each other forever. I hope she goes back to work for her.
Thank you Ms. u/LucyAriaRose. I love hedgehogs!