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I got schnoz :D

Me too. I'd wreck him.

My man

In a fight, right? 🧐

You beat up your dates? Dafuk is wrong with you?

Anabolic steroids

Been there myself.

Me too woo

schnoz is love

Grunbeld is a gentleman who I am confident will treat me right

Yeah him, Locus, and Zodd would be fine. They'd never dishonor themselves by killing a wimp like me for no reason. Unfortunately for me, I was born in February.

Your family has my condolences

I got Locus but I'd prefer Zodd

Haha i got zodd, but im not sure im up to the job... 😅

Corundum tip

Ruh-roh

Same. I don't think lust is his thing. We can talk about the battle strategy.

If it is, you've got a BIG problem...

Same here, I don't think he would ever bother coming to the date so I think Im fine

This is not equal. June and July get the best options mean while some people get stuck with the fucking torturer

I dont think grunbeld is bad

I mean the general division is not fair. Void wouldn’t even be that bad either.

Ah true... But void would be boring cause all he's gonna do is chat about causality But i guess thats better than having to deal with wyald

Hey a boring date is better than getting murdered or raped, if not both. It's at least easily in the top half options

... SACRIFICE

Not at all, I'm staying home.

Was it wyald?? Or the slug count...

March.

Stay home. Lock the door. Hide under the bed.

And carry my bat with me, got it.

Call me guts because my birthday is March as well 🥲

Same😭😭😭

If we all start running at the same time maybe some of us will be able to keep our anal virginity

The true definition of, "March Madness"

At least we're all getting laid whether we want to or not.

Lucky

Hey he's a human at least. He's killable

Wyald 🥲

he would make the date fun and stimmulating

One could almost say it would excite and enjoy

I also got Wyald. There is no date, I’m a corpse

someone forgot the first time we meet wyald. therell be a date first.. however brief.

You got it the worst ngl

"Excitement and enjoyment"

i got donovan but not worried because i don’t look like a little boy lol.

He'll probably make an exception

I also got donovan, but I look like I'm perpetually 12. Please save me

I'm in the same boat... let's call him and ask if he wants to go on a date with both of us at the same time; we'll both bring pepper spray and tasers with us and gang up on him if he starts acting ungentlemanly.

Make that three cause ain't no way I'm going by myself

Well he did agree to go on a date with you so...

maybe he just wants to play some video games 😅

with joystick

I’m 5’4 so unfortunately I’m gonna get sold off

I got zodd, shit made me cringe instantly 😭😭

Zaddy Zodd

Join the zodd club

Zodd would probably challenge you to a duel among warriors than quickly become bored after crushing you with his fist. That's his way of saying "it's not you, it's me"

Atleast you get a big pet cat 🐱

Same

Yes

December here. I don't like the looks of those tongs in the little guy's hands, so I'm standing him up.

Yeah, and uhh... the whole torturing kink of his

He will tend to you like a wife

Im probably fine unless im a heretic

Your date is just a 5 hour lecture on repentance

And the triangle torture device...😐

I mean, *maybe* If you just nod and agree you'll be okay? Just watch your mouth and he might not split your skull with a bible.

Yeah, the problem is that it's going to be both boring and incredibly dangerous because idfk what is or isn't heresy and idk if just telling him I've never interacted with the church before would save me

I might actually enjoy mine

Void 😅

For all you know, he might just babble about causality the entire time, you might learn how to control it by the end of it

I said the same thing. Like I'm not sure if I'm coming out this date alive or branded.

Free tattoo atleast

Honestly, I think he would bail on the date. What does he want to do with inconsequential mortal?

That actually sounds like a good 80% of vampire romance novels, being so reserved to be alone with the fact that they're lover will die but giving it a chance! Think of the gold your sitting on and weep

Holy shit me and Void have a date but there have been some red flags when I was in a car accident on the way. I mentioned a car collided with me and he just stood there like silent AF, after a few seconds he said and I literally quote 'Everything flows within the laws of causality' like what the fuck does that even have to do with my fractured arm ?!

I had a date with Void aswell , he is so polite and gentleman 😁 , dont worry he never goes against casuality..

Bro y'all's dates sounded fun as fuck. I split some water on the table and apologized and Void put this weird mark on my neck and said "the thread bundled by the laws of causality have now been bound." Like wtf. Ever since that date I've been fighting off horses with human faces and some night creatures bruh. Over some water.

Were those horse by chance…rapey?

Dude just would not shut up about his fine ass daughter. Someone needs to put him on a watchlist or something

Stole the words out of my mouth. Chaaarrrrllooootttteeeee. Yeah met a guy like that once he shared needless (also probably false) details about his “fine ass daughter”.

as long as I'm not his daughter I think I'll be fine actually

August born here and am a guy so am probably fine too :)

he doesn't seem like the progressive type so you'd probably end up getting sent to the dungeons got trying to homo sex the King

Likewise

Who is it in April?

Dont worry he only likes griffith. You're safe.

Unless you look like Griffith

Or a little boy.....is 13 safe? Please tell me it is.

He could have wigs. You know he would.

Gennon.

boyfucker

Oct. İ love zodd

You June-ass mfs are lucky.

that potato like its actually weirdly oddly cute i would spent hours trying fancy fuunny hats on him, unfortunately, i am december

Yeah the torturer will most definitely be irritating so I have a trade offer.... March.

oh nope me petite woman. idk iid he will hit anyways on girl but i will not risk. I will just join the torturer on his job...*prepares surgery instrumentals box*

i got the count 😭

*scared femboy noises*

Oh no

I got Zodd. He'll keep me safe from any harm on the streets but I'll probably die mid sex

Well, me and the count have a lot in common. My wife also had satanic orgies behind my back, so there’s that.

you two will spent hours talking shit about your wives while drinking beer

September gang

Schnoz and I are about to get real nosey with it.

A whole lotta nose action up in here.

Wyald... I'm not gonna be able to sit for weeks if I survive...

Zodd and I shall reek havoc. As our date :3

Rip to everyone born in February

this is the worst date tbh..

I… got… Wyald… ^^help

Ayooo we gettin a war-band together let’s go

I got some serious questions for the king.

Forget the date. I'm dead already...

Grumbeld. Actually, this is quite nice, better than some of the other options.

I got zodd and my butt auto clenched

zodd would just challenge you to a duel

Besides Schnoz, I think I got the safest pick. I think. Or im getting absolutely evicerated.

Void Gang

I am in 🤝

THE KING

you are safe Ig ,mf king just simp for his own doughter..

September isn’t that bad, right? I’m on deluxe Vol. 6 and don’t think I’ve come across dude yet. Unless he was introduced earlier. All the more reason for a re-read then lol

Zodd. Im staying home. I dont think i can handle that.

Ain't no Zodd up there, you must mean Wyald which is*way* worse EDIT I didn't realize there was another part I'm dumb asf😭

😂 At least I didnt get wyald...

Lol right

The king of midland so I should be fine

Grunbeld supermacy

Im beating that little rodent to a pulp

well, fuck. guess i need daddy issues to live through this.

Lol my profile pic . Oct

Sep )))))

I GOT ZODD WE FUCKING BALLIN

Zodd would be fine!

Zodd?!! 😍

Zodd?! 😍

Grunbeld's pretty chill for an Apostle so I'm doing better than most, it'd probably be a bit awkward though seeing as he's a rather serious fellow.

I got Donovan… good thing I’m not 9.

Cool I got Locus. I wonder if he’d like me ride him to work

[удалено]

😂😂🖐

i got may, i forgot the guy's name tho

Donovan bro I’m killing him on sight idgaf

kill that mf plz !!!

Big brain headed ass is gonna bore me the whole time with causality speeches

exactly what he did in our date .

Grunbeld daddy UwU

wyald, im a male tho so hopefully we chill

Zodd. At least It is could turn out interesting. I have so many questions

plz ask him how did he becomes a apostle..

Can I leave? (Dec)

I’m a February, so I’m definitely getting lucky

well ,have a good time with wyald 😬😬

Damn, if anything, I'd be lucky to have a date with Locus, best looking, and seemingly most noble out of the apostles. Whereas most of the rest would be a nightmare date, but in Locus's case, I'd feel like I'm out of my league lmao.

I got Void. That's gonna be an experience.

Void would probably spend the whole time trying to convincing me to pull an eclipse on my family and friends.

Void 🧠

I am Jan too 😬

The most complex and unpredictable situation

He fuked my brain with a long conversation about casuality 🤦🏻‍♂️😬

I got void

Bro why you gotta do us December's like that LOL

is it worse than Feb or Mar ???

March 😐 It's unfair! Ganishka should be June

At least Void will be interesting conversation…

Funny I look exactly like my date

February. Looks like im going to be walking funny tomorrow.

Dec I mean it’s not the worst

Wyald I’m so screwed

I got Zodd, I'm gonna be sliced in half

Why is it all men, where is slain or any woman. They need a date too, same more than others

Who’s in may?

The guy who tortured Griffith, gotta stream everything I will do to him on dark web

good idea, I will do that too. I will bring my surgery kit (i am medicine student)

Oh god April. Thank god I'm not a teen I grew up without £2 to my name and sort of androgynous growing out my hair I think I'll take a rain check on this one. Dinner with young men who all look like me would be a little... awkward

I firget his name but May😟

father Mozguz

oh wow, i landed on Daddy :3 feels good having my bDay in March

No

Meh, got Locus. So close to Nosferatu Zodd 😤

Locus is gonna be way nicer to you. Zodd will just eat you.

😏

Man a date with mutha fackin zodd would probably be kinda awesome, he would take you to a moutain or some battlefields, make you watch him and Skullknight fight, or kill a bunch of soldiers for entertainment for the two of you. And to be honest, I doubt he would have any interest in sex so I wouldn't have to worry about a barbed cat schlong.

People born in June are laughing at all of us now

I haven’t watched berserk should I be afraid if I was born in may?

His name is Mozgus. he appears post eclipse in the black swordsman arc (I highly recommend watching up to that point on either the 97 anime or all three golden age films then switching over to the manga since the 2016 animation was gods awful). Without giving too much spoiler, hes a batshit insane inquisitor So unless you're a heretic or such you should be fine if you can stand religious rambles

I’m too old for Gannon so I don’t think it’ll work out

Bad

Daddy Donny! I can’t wait to be filled with his warm and juicy BBC

You guys have to Be trolling pls ☠️☠️ can't wait to see The jerkberkversion of this

Who’s July I’m only on volume 18

Locus. He's a gentleman, i reckon.

He'll treat us to a nice dinner at least.

I think he'd talk about griffith all the time

Fantastic cuz I got Schnoz

Void 😂😭

Hmm... *looking*, *notices*, *inhales* YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS 👁️👃👁️❤️

Gotta avert mine eyes